In a video she shared on her YouTube channel and monitored by Saturday Beats, the movie star noted that marriage had no manual, adding that what worked for a person might not work for another.
She said, “ I want everyone to know there is no manual for marriage and we are not going to get married to the same man. Even if we get married to the same person , we don ’t have the same attitude. Marriage counsellors will only tell you the things necessary in life . We must be patient. My husband is Kola but I cannot tell you how to live with your own man― someone I have not lived with.
Even a man that marries more than one wife would not treat them the same way . The way the wives relate to their husband will also be very different. I cannot tell you about marriage but the two things I can tell you will help you not only in your marriage but in your relationship right now .
“You need to be patient (because) sometimes , our husbands can be annoying. To stay married, your patience must be topnotch. Secondly , you have to respect your man. I am an African woman and I am also educated though I might not be as learned as some people . You have to respect your man.
Lastly, your marriage has to come first . These are the things that are important even while relating with other people. I usually tell people that marriage is very sensitive. Sometimes , when marriages crash and people advise the couple to ‘move on ’ , they think it is very easy to move on. You think it is easy ? Marriage is deeper than what a lot of people out there think. You need to be submissive and respect your husband.
I cannot say much about marriage because it does not come with a manual.
I might marry a particular man and he might behave badly to me and another person could marry the same man and he might be good to her. I am still young in marriage but what has been working for me is that I respect and honour my husband.”
from punch
👍😘🥰😍👏👏👏
ReplyDeleteAlright. Different strokes it is.
ReplyDeleteSo on point👍
ReplyDeleteThem don start.
ReplyDeleteNa here we de oh.
Stopeeeeet😂😂
DeleteHian!
DeleteShey you no go marry your husband in peace and leave us alone?
Marriage that haff not reach 2yrs and you haff turned to marriage counsellor.
As in...🙄
DeleteMy husband my god can only work if you're that kinda woman with that kinda man.
There are men who this whole respect/worship repulses them and they prefer women that don't send them or worse.
She's right about the whole no manual thingy, but for once, I'd like to see/hear successful women talk about other stuff than marriage.
I mean, you hardly hear men go my wife this, my wife that.
Anon 15:17, I dare say this will not be the whole interview but just a part of it. People take the portion the want and run with it.
DeleteShe looks different in the picture. Well said.
ReplyDeleteI always say this thing even though I pride myself with wanting equal rights for women in their workplace and in the environment.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to my marriage, I drop everything feminism at the entrance of my home. I do not advocate for 50-50 like our woke feminists do.
His job as a husband is to be the provider and I the supporter, so he brings in the money, I support with whatever little change I have.
My role as a wife is to be the home maker. I take care of the home and he supports in whatever way I ask him to but I still take on the bulk.
He could be sleeping and I will be cooking and I wouldn't mind at all.
Like I said, this is my personal belief and I am working with it. Works perfectly with me.
If u marry the right husband, he will never abuse the pattern.
But different strokes for different folks
Gbam
DeleteGood for you, that's not what other people do. We do 50:50 please and we are very happen.
DeleteUntil you born pikin, na this type de change
Delete👌👌👌
DeleteAnon, if u are all about the gra gra in ur marriage, I am not. And I'm working consciously to make sure I am not.
Deleteif your method is working fine, then good for you but it doesn't discredit the method the 'woke feminists' as you stated employ too.
DeleteBoth methods are fine and none is superior to another as far as I'm concerned.
what matters is that both husband and wife are in tune with the peculiarities.
and Eka, I don't believe 50:50 is gra gra.
DeleteYou are right, but I think it's just common sense. If a man is the busier spouse and brings in the bulk of the money, it makes sense for the woman to be the home maker and do the bulk of the chores....that was my parents and it worked for them. If a woman brings in the bulk of the money, it makes sense for a man to be the home maker or understand when she can't do all the chores...that's my Uncle's marriage and it works for them. If both of them work and bring in equal amounts, then they can share the chores or whoever feels like doing what.. all it takes is love, understanding, maturity and common sense.
Delete@dainty, response was not for the anon with the 50:50 comment and as u can see, I personalised my comment. I even added different strokes for different folks. But I'm still not clear?
DeleteThis is so apt👌. But some people will disagree with you. Me I don't bother to answer them. I do what works for me in my marriage.
DeleteWalai "apt" chop knuckle Joy👊
Delete👌👌👌
ReplyDeleteBest to stop talking about it to the public and face your life, since you don't have the manual for marriage.
ReplyDeleteThe manual is in the Bible for men and women who are willing to live by it and obey God who instituted marriage.
Why are y'all so worked up when people talk about their marriages publicly?
DeleteVery true. The manual to a happy life whether single or married, whether marriage relationship or relationship with family or friends is in the Bible.
DeleteIf husbands AND wifes (not husband or wife) apply what the Bible says in their lives, they will be very happy no matter the challenges they face.
@14:11
Deletewhy are you so worked up when people say they shouldn't?
You have an opinion, let others have theirs.
Well said mama,
ReplyDeleteGod bless your home.
Do you in your home and above all put God in your marriage. Don't ever ever compare your marriage to others.
That it's working and beautiful in this part doesn't mean they don't have ugly sides, so is your own marriage sometimes it's beautiful sometimes it's ugly but above all love and respect is key!!!
Well said
ReplyDeleteTrue marriage has no concrete manual but a godly guidelines.
ReplyDeleteYes it's the duty of the man to provide - but when life happens, it's the wife's responsibility to step in without making an issue of it. While he try to sort himself out, and if we, as wives can assist with that too, it's not a crime. So it's not fair to live by that mentality that it's the man's duty to provide.
To all the women who are presently the bread winners of their respective homes, I salute you. If you'd agree with me, some of our responsive men are truly trying. It's not easy undertaking the duties they do.
A friend of mine whose husband was affected by this lockdown, told me that she realised this recently and one day knelt before the husband and said "thank you for all the times you've carried out your responsiveness as the head of this family. I just want to appreciate you. Thank you. I didn't understand how difficult it is, until now." She said that statement left the husband weeping. Thankfully, his side hustle just picked up and he has gradually started picking up his duties back. Only that this time, the wife (my friend) is more involved more than she used to be.
No reasonable individual would love to see themself lose their partners to an overwhelming duty. It ought to be a selfless joint effort, especially when you have an amazing individual as a partner.
Thank You!!!
DeleteI agree. To me the responsibility of providing is for the spouse who has the ability to provide. While it is more romantic for men to provide or die trying, women shouldn't downplay their own ideas, talents or degrees..cos if anything happens to the source, there should be a back up. Plus, having your own makes it easy for you to buy what you want for yourself and immediate family. You can spoil your parents..something your hubby may not see as his responsibility cos it really isn't. Also, when tables turn and the woman is providing, men should be more gentle and understanding.
DeleteGod bless you. You just described my situation. I make quiet alot of money likewise my husband. However the lock down affected his job and I have been providing like 95 percent of all we need to online school fees, building project, food, fuel for cars, NEPA, rent just name it. Initially I was frustrated. Like I was just nagging. I forgot this man was making close to 1mil monthly for years. I totally lost it. Then I recalled one day that when this guy had he dropped all in my account to manage for future projects and run the house after deducting his tithe and small personal expense. Refused to buy himself a car and cloths just to ensure we are happy till this day. He manages a car we got as a wedding gift like 10 years ago while I have changed mine like 2 times. Why then am I complaining? That day I begged him. He was sad that he was not providing and you could tell that he was bad about it the whole time. I had to also encourage him to go for his master's abroad as I just recently got a huge inheritance and I will be getting more. I pray he gets a job soon as he his not into business at all at all. Full blown career man. Now what's my point. It does not matter who foots the bill. What matters most is that someone does and even the kids don't even realise there is a problem. Most important thing is that both partners are responsible and trying to ensure all that's within their power is helping to bridge the gap. Let's stop all this feminism thing or it's a man's job or a woman's role and all that stuff. Now I am not saying you should give your all to an irresponsible man or woman. If one partner is irresponsible just plan the future of your kid like a single parent and move.
Delete@Ebony , well said and nicely written.
DeleteWell said guys. In an Ideal marriage where there is love, It doesn't matter who foots the bills. It is so unfair to start nagging a man who has been a sole provider just because he is no longer able to provide.
DeleteWow!! , 😘😘😘😘😘
DeleteTo each is own.
ReplyDeleteEach to his own rule. The only set rule in marriage is to love another. Other rules are learnt as you grow older.
ReplyDeleteMarriage and indeed life has a manual
ReplyDeleteThe Bible is the manual. 🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️
50:50 works perfectly in my family.
ReplyDeleteI think living abroad made this happen because there’s no way I would have managed the domestic end alone without losing my head.
Married 25 years. Our children male and female grew up in this and all of them cook and clean perfectly and equally like their parents.
I am happy that things have turned out this way as I would want my children to help their spouses well too the way their father helped me.
Everyone family should do what they think will work for them, never you compare your marriage with another person.
ReplyDeleteHuman beings are never the same.
Good comments by Dainty T, Ebony Oge, NiB, 17:54 and 16:08.
ReplyDeleteI hope Eka Joy has learnt a thing or two from you all.
Marriage has a manual and it is in the Bible for both men and women who choose to obey their Creator in that holy union.