The case below is just one of many....
Which do you prefer..The real self before Marriage (which might end the Marriage plans)or the real self after they are 'safely' married?
Read this to understand what i mean....
Tuesday, August 04, 2020
Couch Convo - When A Woman Shows Her True Color Before Marriage....
Some women play the role of Angels in the lives of the men who wanna marry them but unleash their real faces after marriage....
The case below is just one of many....
Which do you prefer..The real self before Marriage (which might end the Marriage plans)or the real self after they are 'safely' married?
Read this to understand what i mean....
The case below is just one of many....
Which do you prefer..The real self before Marriage (which might end the Marriage plans)or the real self after they are 'safely' married?
Read this to understand what i mean....
112 comments:
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The lady’s reaction was way over the top.
ReplyDeleteLol.
DeleteThis story is not a good reference for the question!
If being yourself equals BAD CHARACTER, please stay single!
Being yourself here means, not pretending to be who you are not like laughing at dry jokes to be accepted and loved, mopping your husband's family compound to be seen as humble, Pounding pepper with mortar and claiming you prefer it to blender to be seen as a nice and economical girl etc.
Be yourself = no go do pass yourself! QED
However, no too show yourself o. If you snore like generator, carry one eye dey sleep for courtship o ��, before you go tey for house �� #kidding
Do men show all their characters? ��
as in eh.... Very good question. Do men show all their characters?
DeleteIs it not when you get in you start seeing chomtin!
Different strokes for different folks sha. For me, this is not really apt to do justice to this debate.
This one is just petty and immature, shouting my pot all over the place like she kept gold there. If it were her mom, will she have complained? Yes, one shouldn't be a doormat in marriage but this is just senseless and disrespectful.
DeleteWell I think she felt the food was sweet hence the attack on the guy's mum. Had it been they told her the food wasn't sweet, how would she react?
DeleteYou can't start like this nah...
😂😂😂 E be things....
ReplyDeleteLmao
DeleteMy sisters had an argument over this 😂😂😂
I couldn't even laugh
😂E be o
DeleteYes and no. 🤔🤔🤔
ReplyDeleteThis lady did nothing wrong because i believe in the saying that "what you can't finish Don't start and what you can tolerate when rich, reject it while still poor".
ReplyDeleteIf I were this guy, I'll stick to the lady cos she's real,my kind of persona,no pretence.
Really? She went to visit them, not the other way round and she was welcomed with love.
Deletewhat are you saying? A visitor in another woman"s house claiming kitchen and food just because she prepared it? She's not real but plain rude and lack common sense. They should send her packing already.
DeleteGod bless you, Anon. The disrespectful girl went to visit and already flexing muscles. It means when they get married, no in-laws will dare step into the house, not to talk of eating a meal or sleeping over. Nonsense! If I were the guy, that's the end of the relationship when we get back to our base.
DeleteMom Ella, she doesn't have any kitchen in that house just yet. She helped out with the meal, that does not make it her pot let alone, her kitchen. If it were my mom she spoke to in that manner, I'd cut her to size...
DeleteShe's just a girlfriend and already has such controlling attitude over things she has no control of.
DeleteIt's not even her matrimonial home!! And she's exercising such unwarranted powers ,
Before going into a family one needs to take time to understand how they roll and if they're not cool with it you bounce, she was outrightly disrespectful there are better ways to pass a message .
She's mom Ella right? Meaning she's a mother already. Your son is coming up and will soon bring his babe. Your chronicle will be very interesting to read
DeleteShe should have just told her boyfriend instead of Confronting the mum
ReplyDeletePersonally I think this lady over reacted it’s not even about being real.The moment some people come to the realization that you must compromise in certain cases the better for us all. Even as bad I am I still compromise for the happiness of others it takes NOTHING from me.
ReplyDeleteHey my love
DeleteWell said....compromise is key.
DeleteNoir boo boo❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰
DeleteHow are you doing today beautiful?
Compromise is key
DeleteExactly @Gwagon, she simply I'll mannered and highly territorial! Can't deal please...
Delete@ G baby I'm way better now ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
DeleteThat lady is ill-mannered some people have this mentality that they've to be aggressive towards their in-laws in order to gain grounds and respect but it's just plain pointless.
❤❤👌👌
Delete@picture compromise how? Is it her house,kitchen? Is the guy married to her yet? Nonsense talk. When this one finally gets married she will so much cause katakata in that family and drive every one away claiming kingkong because she is a wife
DeleteBig deal!!!! Just because of extra food? What's it with women and pot of soup and their kitchen? Mtschewwww
ReplyDeleteBig hiss
DeleteI tire, even me that i am married, i dont monitor food like lizard in my house. Once i take for hubby, you can even swallow the pot, if we dont belle full there are other things to snack on. My in laws even cook when they visit cos i dont really enjoy cooking and i cant cook for plenty people.
DeleteThey haven't married you and you are struggling kitchen and pots with his mother, Shame on you. Everything you did was wrong, better apologize to his mother and your guy.
ReplyDeleteWell said dear
DeleteShe is not yet the wife
Thank you Shola.
DeleteDont mind her. o ga eme ya fa na-anya
Deletethank you !!!
DeleteThat's very unnecessary. Mannerless girl.See your mouth like your pot.
ReplyDeleteI prefer to show my real self o. When my fiance took me to his elder bro, guy man has a paid maid but expected me to clean and mop the whole house in the morning. I jejely cleaned only the room I was given to spend the night.He was stupefied and told my man I wasn't homely at all. Our second visit he said he expected me to assist his wife's mother in the kitchen even after she turned down my assistance. I told him I was only being myself and boo chipped in that he often times assist me to cook as it fosters our bonding.
In fact I told him my boo was a better cook and he said no Onitsha man will tolerate that.
Last week we had a zoom meeting whilst my husband was making nsala.
Understanding matters.
😂😂😂😂 @nsala
Delete😂😂😂😂
DeleteLmao !!!!
it's good to be real to avoid drama.
ReplyDeleteNevertheless,I'm not my pot,my kitchen,my house kind of person though I love orderliness,if such happens,I will overlook it since they're not staying with us and if they're living with us to avoid future drama, I'll prefer MIL dish what she want after I cook if I notice she's not always satisfy with what I serve her.
He is your "BOYFRIEND" not fiance and husband yet. You visited him and I am sure he gave you the money to cook for the family. It's not yet your house or your pot, why not wait until then rather than work yourself up now. You should also have quietly discussed this with your boyfriend first before loosing your manners. You'll also raise a child who would become the partner of someone tomorrow, so think and be wise about your actions.
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine? All because of some stupid food o. We've always had educated and successfully married women since the days of Abraham. The set we have now is something else and to think they are poorer than church rat. Rubbish.
DeleteShould she be happy her 'future ML' wanted more of her food???Does she think the mother and sister can't afford to cook? You went to visit after 6months of dating, he has even done introduction or married you ooh. Imagine when your 2 legs come dey inside? And you really think you can fight the mother and sisters? Unless they are not Nigerians. Imagine the Irani radarada.
DeleteThank you all
Delete"Boyfriend, girlfriend?" Not even fiancee?
ReplyDeleteAnd you now have what you call "my pot," in his house?
Wow! Some ladies have steel veins and igneous rock hearts.
A lot of her type full here o.
This is the (Eccl. 7:26)"woman whose hands are chains..."
There are more (foul characters) from where that one came from
🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️
You visited him in his home and met his family.
ReplyDeleteYou happened to cook for everyone. Unnecessary but good.
You served everyone. Good.
You didn't ask if anyone wanted more. Not Good.
His mother decided she wanted more and went into her kitchen and dished food. Her right, it's her house.
You now decided to chastise his mother by saying her kitchen is yours. Not good. in fact madness.
Your boyfriend tells you to apologise. Goof
You tell him, everyone will have to accept this from me moving forward. Rude
You weren't in your own kitchen, in your own home. You're a guest giving directions. It's clear that you have issues with boundaries in addition to being mannerless. Fix up.
As in....very mannerless.
DeleteReal madness o
DeleteDont mind her na isi imebi
Delete👌🏽👌🏽
DeleteThe girl is an idiot sef ,I'm sorry to use this word.She is reduced to that.Infact sometimes I find it difficult to believe all these social media chats ,do we really have ladies with this kind of behaviour??who raised them please.
DeleteTufia
Sister you went too far haha! There are certain ways to handle certain things but definitely not this way. There's a way you can serve someone food and you politely tell them if it's not enough, they should inform you so you can get more for them. I'm sure you served them food and went about your way. Since you weren't around, she helped herself. It's not by gra gra. Wisdom is profitable to direct.✌️
ReplyDeleteHandle what? What is she handling?is it her kitchen,pots or house? Smh
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYou are more than wrong dear, you visited a place for the first time and started placing order/rules is not a good one. I am a working mother if I attach too much importance to my port and kitchen whole lot of people staying in my house will suffer starvation. teach people what you want and not to place an impediment, people go to my pot to take food but I tell them not to abuse what I used in cooking which is meat, fish and all sorts, if I want to eat and cant get anything to chew its really hurt and irritates me crazily, but for you to visit a place for the first time and begin to drag kitchen and food is a bigggggggggggggggggggg Noooooooooooooooooooo for me. my opinion sha
ReplyDeleteI don't know, I would rather believe that this story was formulated to fish reactions from people because I don't know any girl that will be daft to do something like this to their inlaw when they have not wifed you..
ReplyDeleteAm I the only person that does not care if someone takes food from my pot without permission¿??
I pray for God to bless everyone with "financial resources" because if you get money, you no go sit down dey count meat/ okporoko, azumangala& the quantity of food wey remain for pot..
Amen..
Chizzy j
No you're not. It's really not a big deal to me
DeleteAmen to your prayer.
DeleteIt's same here. You're not alone.
DeleteThe azumangala you mentioned reminds me of Willy in My Flatmates. 😁
Chizzy J, I still don't understand the rationale behind the whole "my kitchen, my pot" madness o! Although, I've noticed it's more common with girls who were not fully independent before marriage...
Deleteit's really not a big deal , I dont know why some people take things too far .
DeleteSmh
You are more than wrong dear, you visited a place for the first time and started placing order/rules is not a good one. I am a working mother if I attach too much importance to my port and kitchen whole lot of people staying in my house will suffer starvation. teach people what you want and not to place an impediment, people go to my pot to take food but I tell them not to abuse what I used in cooking which is meat, fish and all sorts, if I want to eat and cant get anything to chew its really hurt and irritates me crazily, but for you to visit a place for the first time and begin to drag kitchen and food is a bigggggggggggggggggggg Noooooooooooooooooooo for me. my opinion sha
ReplyDeletePretence is not good before marriage but the lady here overreacted. She's making a mountain out of a molehill. Shikena!
ReplyDeleteNne you are totally wrong, Ewoooo, as in all shades of wrong. Was good you showed yourself before marriage but you should have told your boyfriend first and see his reaction, not telling the mum direct .
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, we are Africans and not Oyibo people.
Even Oyibo people dont make noise over food. We allow you eat until you are tired.
DeleteIf you cannot finish your plate, throw the rest away please - do not feed the dog or cat as they has their own food. PEACE.
Marriage is about compromise. If na me be the man I don run tey tey!!
ReplyDeleteIt's better she shows herself so they know what they're dealing with before marriage. The man can decide if he wants to go ahead or not based on what he can tolerate. The lady can decide if she wants to go ahead based on their reaction.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't want to comment on whether she overreacted or not because we're all different. I know people who don't like others entering their kitchen and taking things out from the pot without asking. I'm assuming she and her boyfriend live together, hence her reaction.
This is not her kitchen. She is the guest.
Deletesounds like they were all at the boyfriend's house hence the whole "my kitchen" attitude.
Deleteshe's a stupid lady though. lol
But its not even her home yet .
DeleteDo not use "being real" to proud in your ill manner. The reason some people didn't see anything bad in a former BBN dis-housemate. Some people come good and they are really good . If dem no train you well for house, train yaself.
ReplyDeleteIn this life ehn, there are just battles u just don't fight cos they are not battles at all.
ReplyDeleteWould she have told her mum not to enter her pot if she was even already married????
Most of these women in the name of feeling woke already go into relationships with the mind of showing the MIL pia pia just to say I don't tolerate nonsense.
A woman took u into her home, was very happy to welcome you into her home, enjoyed ur food so much, she went for more by herself and yet to deflated her in such way?????
This kind of person will ban inlaws from visiting when they are actually married.
Yes it's good to be real,no pretense! But in this case,the girl went overboard with her approach..she would have just ignored, moreover it's her son's house and not even engaged to her yet! The Mom can tell the son not to marry someone like her sef! Wisdom is profitable to teach and direct
ReplyDeleteShe's ill-mannered. You went to visit, it's his kitchen and all, yet you're saying you don't like this and that. Has he married you? The guy had better run!
ReplyDeleteIt's ladies like this that won't let their husband's family come close, only theirs. Would she had said so if it were to be her mum? Yeye, forming woke!
Where is diplomacy and wisdom?
ReplyDeleteShe could have still passed the message differently.
Like saying:
(With a big smile). Oh mummy I didn't know you want more. Pls ma if you need more call me ma, I will dish it myself. I dont want to stress you ma.
This would have saved the day.
@AGELESS T
It is not every battle you fight. You should also learn to overlook trivial things. If everyone, including his family apply the principles of "what you can't finish, don't start', trust me you won't last in that family. The mother can also ask you not to step your foot into her kitchen. That she doesn't like sharing her kitchen with anyone. You slept over which means someone vacated his or her room for you. What if the sister is someone who doesn't like anyone sharing her bed and she made that clear to you the first day you visited because she isn't also ready to start what she can't finish and wouldn't want you to have the impression you can always have her room whenever you come around. Everyone can be petty too. Just don't flatter yourself and be humble.
ReplyDeleteP.s Is it the mother of your future husband, you are calling, "this woman"?
🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️
Preach baby!!! Preach!❤️
DeleteHey, sweets.🤗
DeleteIt's been a while, hun.💋
👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽
DeleteI always look forward to your comments.
You save my fingers 😘😘😘😘
Maybe she smoked weed before going there or her village people that vowed she will never get married twisted her brain.
Deletethat is how you people read and add pepper and salt to stories....the house in this case was the boyfriends house not the mothers house. soeven the mother or sister cannot be controlling the girl. the babe overeacted and was so wrong in this case sha. she should have just kept quiet and let it go. no be every battle we dey fight
DeleteMa you didnt have to stress going to the kitchen when I'm here, next time just tell me, i will help you,say that with all smiles and flattering..
ReplyDelete👌👌👏 you said it!!
DeleteThis one has no manners. Her no pretense just showed how ill-bred she is. Ontop of food o, ordinary food.
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine?
DeleteThese are the mannerless type of girls we pray never to meet
ReplyDelete😂 😁😁😁😂hahaha amen oh.
DeleteI think u overreacted! its ur boyfriends she that you cooked ?? abi ?/ so u r saying your boyfriends mother does not have a right to the pot because you caked ??? haba nah !
ReplyDeleteI just want to know, please who owns the pot, ingredients and the kitchen that was used for the cooking? If it's your bf's mum then sisturrrr you are damn wrong!
ReplyDelete#ReservedQueen
I think she went visiting with her kitchen on her head. Any girl behave like this to me and I will never set my eyes on her again. It's that simple so we won't all start what we can't finish.
DeleteNo matter who owns every every, shes stupid and mannerless. So if she was the owner, does that give her the right to ridicule and give instructions to the womaan? They should send her away biko. She;s not wife but trouble.
DeleteLol. Is the house your house? Simply because you cooked now made it "your pot" you never jam at all, your over sabi is too much. I don't know how to pretend myself but I'm not rude. You were rude to his mom.
ReplyDeleteToo blunt and rude, stylishly say big mummy,you didn't tell me the food was delicious I would have served you, a second time, you don't need to stress yourself while eating when am around. No need for claiming pots.
ReplyDeleteThere's a difference between being yourself and being outrightly disrespectful. Lady, you're ill-mannered.
ReplyDeleteHer own too much! She went too far. This is her mother-in-law to be. There are things she should ignore. If it were the boyfriend's brother and sisters, it is understandable but not the mother. let her forget the ,marriage.
ReplyDeleteit is this mother in law gets away with everything shit that has put women in bondage to them and allowed MILs treat DILs anyhow. lets say it was a serious offence MIL should not be spoken to? that said, the MIL in this case even did nothing wrong. her sons house and a girlfriend who cooked.
DeleteThe girl did not even think about the fact that the woman likes her cooking. No one goes for seconds if they don't like the food, no matter how hungry they are.
ReplyDeleteGirlll u went too farr!
ReplyDeleteWhat she did was not about being real but she's just rude and dos not have wisdom...
ReplyDeleteNne biko they visited you in your house or the guy's house?
ReplyDeleteNa girlfriend you still be ohh
Power can change hands anytime
Hahaha🤣🤣😂😁😁 this is fake,adonbelivit
ReplyDeleteYou visited the family in their own home and you have the guts to ask the mother not to touch her own pots again for more food, 🍲!, walahi if na my brother ehh marriage has ended,I will make sure you no smell marriage in my family o, Nne I will fling you outside ozigbo.
ReplyDeleteboyfriends house not family house. that said the girl was wrong
DeleteAll shades of wrong.You better apologize before your guy change his mind about you. Na your type no won see in-laws for face after wedding
ReplyDeleteBeing yourself should not remove apology from your mouth..When someone says you hurt them dont be defensive ..just say I am sorry.....whether you are right or wrong..peace is better than being right...some people just like to play victim
ReplyDeleteOK, it's not so clear if she went to her boyfriend's apartment and met his family there or she went visiting his parents and siblings in their home but one thing is clear, the kitchen or food cannot be taken as hers! She was plain rude. Another in her position would have taking it as a compliment that her food was liked. Just six months and she's giving off poor manners vibes. They are not even in your face, na you dey set boundaries with ur one leg in...ur eyes go clear.
ReplyDeleteNooo sista you did very good a round of applause for you.
ReplyDeleteIf she is like this now, mehn I don't want to imagine her character/attitude after marraige. She was completely rude and has no right to tell her "BOYFRIEND's" mom all that. He hasn't even married you in the first place so why are you showing yourself and which one is she went to my pot and took food.... In the same house where you went visiting too? You just created more problems for yourself by showing yourself in foolishness. That means you go fit beat up the woman if you marry her son. Banza kawai
I don't believe this. So someone is going to make that statement under someone else's roof after using their stove. This shyt seems fake, at least let it appear real.
ReplyDeleteI am not for pretense either, but I am also not for speaking rudely and humiliating others too. If being yourself means that you are a rude and obnoxious person then it is better to remain single.
Really?
ReplyDeleteYou did this to his mother ( an elderly person) not even his younger sister. You get mind. This wasn't necessary. Instead you should have warmly told mum with all smiles that she didn't need to stress herself when you could have helped with the serving. Message passed but with wisdom and in a non-judmental way. Kindly apologise to her and learn to be more accommodating of others because marriage might bring up more things similar to this.
ReplyDeleteThank God you showed yourself so he can dump your ass. This is why I don’t trust some girls crying that their boyfriends mother is refusing to let him marry them. If I was his mother, then and there I will tell you that I hope it’s not my house you are planning on entering with your bad upbringing. You are what Yoruba’s call alaseju. You always do too much. Even if you wanted to pass that message there are many polite ways you could by for instance telling mama not to stress herself. That you can bring her anything she wants, she just needs to let you know so you can entertain her well. You are a big fool and if your boyfriend does not dump you, he’s a bigger fool
ReplyDeleteI am strict o but why won’t my MIL go to MY kitchen to take whatever she wants biko? We are not best of friends but haba, she is still my MIL and has every right to my kitchen, we are talking of kitchen not bedroom o! To think it’s the woman’s kitchen sef. I m so pissed jare
ReplyDeleteI also believe in being yourself but this is beyond stupid. Respect is earned and not forced, if you want them to respect your pot...atleast respect your self. It's just food for Gawd's sake and not sacrifice to your god I wu anya
ReplyDeleteNa wa 🙄
as for me she overeacted because she is just a girlfriend so cannot lay claim to her kitchen. in this case she should have let it slide. if she was a wife already and her kitchen then she can set those bounderies. as my mother inlaw you should respect me enough not to just enter my kitchen and start dishing food. I will serve you and never deny you food but if you need a second helping just tell me first incase the food is meant for someone else. I am team be yourself before marriage. e.g i hate washing clothes so i never did any of those in any boyfriends house lol..i had friends that would go and be doing housegirl for a guy but still got dumped. i am team speak my mind too but maturity and the holy spirit is helping me to choose when and how.
ReplyDelete