Hmmmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD
Bvs my heart is shattered Asin I'm in pains..pls bvs if u are a mother pls always listen to your kids,ask about their opinions. Its as if I've failed as a mother..Stella I failed my lil girl 😭.
I've 2 kids in secondary school..a boy and a girl..The girl is the eldest but both of them are in same class because the girl is a lil bit slow.
When they got into sec sch,I noticed d girl doesn't like school in fact she hates going to school and her grades are poor.whenever I go for their open day,the teachers would always complain about her but they praise her younger bro. I was always quarreling her about her hate for sch.but never asked her.
It happened that their sch increased fees so we were forced to changed sch for her..her suggested we leave her bro since he's a science student and d sch is well equipped when I told my girl abt it she was very happy in fact I've never seen her this happy.
So before the coronavirus pandemic, we changed her school..the day she went for her exam in the new school,she was just smiling.i thought she's crazy sef but she just said she's happy leaving the school.
She resumed in January in her new sch..her mood changed..she's happy going to school,she talks about her school mates with smile on her face.
So recently I was in my room,I heard her telling her brother how she despised her old classmates,how they bullied her,in her words she said "I'll be successful in life so that when they send me a friend request on FB I'll ignore them , I'll never forgive them for all what they made me go thru in that sch".
I called her into my room and asked her what happened to her in that sch,and why she hated her old mates so much..
Stella my girl told me how the girls tried to couple her with a boy and she refused and that became her crime..they made her day a living hell,they bullied her,ganged up against her,made sure no one is her friend,laugh and make snide remarks whenever she passed by,she was telling all this with tears.
I felt bad that I allowed her go thru all these..
*It is very important to have a relationship with your child and always ask questions,watch their mood swing and find out why...I am happy you changed her school..
I hope a parent or two learns from this!!!
Story for everyone to learn from.
ReplyDeleteMadam you did fail ok. Just understand that, THIS LIFE NO BALANCE AT ALL.
DeleteLesson
DeleteWhen kids are cruel to other kids it's painful to watch, one has to have a good relationship with their kids., so they tell you everything 🦋
DeleteMa'am please stop calling your child slow. Children have their own unique abilities and learning styles so try to discover hers.
DeleteGod please help us mothers ooo
ReplyDeleteAmen. Thank you poster i learnt something from this. Parenting is another job entirely and the most scaring job for me. I pray God help us all on this journey and bless those who are waiting on him.
DeleteOMG! Madame, don't be hard on yourself, you can still fix your relationship with your daughter.
ReplyDeleteIt is very important we listen to our kids, not just only listening to them, but, also watch their expression when they are taking to us.
Imagine secondary school children already with the traits of abuse and bullying... Such students can also plan to gang-raped other students that they don't agree with.
Thank God you decided to change her school, if not, your child would have fallen into depression (may that never be her portion in Jesus Christ name)
Parents watch your children every movement, listen to them and be there for them.
Lord, help us.
DeleteHello Ms. A 💕
Ms A bullying starts way earlier than secondary school.
DeleteSome children that are spoilt/allowed to get away with bad behaviour and not to respect boundaries tend to become bullies early in life.
😮😳 Thank goodness she's now at peace
ReplyDeleteThis made me remember a boy that bullied my lil bro in his class, he would come home moody everyday...until I sneaked up to his class n found out that d boy always made a funny drawing of him n held up in d class when d teacher ain't around n his goons will laugh while he would sit af his corner in ignoring them or so it seemed, he was just 11 then. after school, I waited for him outside, I saw that he would follow my kid bro out n be kicking his legs making him stumble, as soon as dey stepped out of the school gates, i pounced on him, didnt know i cud beat him, i beat shege from dis boy n his goons scattered, nobody separated us till he left his school bag and ran. Till we write waec,my bro was never bullied again, his mood changed, his grades soared..today hes a health prof, as for the bully his name is MENE...where d hell are u? I still hate u. Ode.
ReplyDeleteCorrect!👌 BB, I have always really liked you, I don't know why but I do.
DeleteBlackberry I really like what you did I can do the same for anybody,it's good for parents to have a close relationship with their kids, I never had with my parents so none of them knew nothing about my personal life till they died and I ended up having no feelings towards them
DeleteAwwwww. Good for you for standing up for your brother.
DeleteI detest bullies and bullying.
Lol, gangster style.
DeleteFemi Anthony, this hug is for you.🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 no be you again???
DeleteReal gangster, no time to check time.
Awwwww Femi Anthony, so sorry for your loss, aaaaah and it's too late to make amends with your parents, please try and find it in you to forgive them.
Femi Anthony sending you lots of hugs 🤗🤗🤗 and light 💖💖💖✨✨
Delete@BB, you did well standing up for your little brother 🙌🏽👌🏽
Correct...God bless u for standing up for your bro. I hate bullies.
DeleteFemi Anthony, E_ hugs to you...
DeleteBB, thumps up to you...
Correct! Nice one BB. I detest bullies.
DeleteFemi Anthony, please take these 💞💕💞💕
Lol...bullies only understand violence.
Delete@BB didn't i just love you the more... Hehe see correct beating of life...
DeleteYou've finally sealed my love for you😆😆😆.
DeleteYou are the real MVP sis 😍😍😍😍😍❤
DeleteAwww, @FemiAnthony, i will like to be your friend.
DeleteSee why i love you !!!!
Delete@Femi can I hug you right now 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Blackberry 😘🥰😍.
DeleteMy cousin did the same for me in primary school. Imagine this plump girl in my class pushing skinny me so hard, I fell. It was less than a year after my prolonged hospital admission otherwise I could defend myself on a good day.
Femi Anthony's, God will make it up to you because he promised never to forsake you though a mother may forsake her suckling child. 💞🤗🤗
Yes I have learnt from this
ReplyDeleteGod pls don't let me fail you and my children as a parent
Building a relationship with one's kids can't be overemphasised...besides bullying there are other negative vices kids can get lured into by peers but can be talked out of my parents if there is communication and parents present a safe room for them to truly express themselves.
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up about it poster, its done and in the past but its great you shared so some of us can learn from it.🤗
So true.
DeleteMy siblings and I are so close to our mother, till today.
I am having same relationship with my two children.
Parenthood is certainly not for fainthearted.
Nice story to learn from.
Madam thank Goodness you know this now. Don’t beat yourself too much . Just pay more attention to your kids from now o .
ReplyDeleteMotherhood is not for faint heart. God will help us .
Amen.
DeleteI read the end of this with tears.
ReplyDeleteI hope parents would do better.
Wow, lesson learnt. May God help us mothers o
ReplyDeleteIt’s important to always listen to your kids, I remember the first secondary school I attended, after the first week, our class teacher, a man called me to his table during break and squeezed my butt, I was so scared because I knew it was inappropriate, I was about 10years old then, I went home and told my parents I no longer wanted to go to that school that I didn’t like the teacher, it was on a Wednesday and that was the last day I went to that school, thank God for my Dad, he always has my back, he didn’t even question me further, he just said I should stay home till the next term and start in a new school
DeleteWho knows how many innocent girls that dirty, evil. randy teacher has sexually molested. 😤😠
DeleteGod help every mother and mother to be
ReplyDeleteA sigh of relief!
ReplyDeleteIts not a case of Sexual Abuse or molestation by a teacher or someone. In fact let me go and drink water.
Well madame, lesson learnt. Our kids deserve all the attention they require.
Exactly, i was hoping its not a case of molestation. I'm happy you changed her school and also she also opened up to you.
Deletemadam, use this opportunity to bond well with her and be her best friend...
Tell her that in order to enjoy God's peace and favor in her career, she
ReplyDeletehas to forgive her old school mates and treat them with kindness;
Romans 12: 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right
in the eyes of everyone. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at
peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath,
for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” d says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” e
21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Beautiful comment. Please teach your double to forgive. In life offences will always come. If you hold unto them, your hurt more. As humans we also offend God, and he forgives us. Remember the bible says if you can’t forgive others, God will not forgive you. Let her learn to let go and soar in life. All the best.
DeleteDear poster, Don't feel too bad. Thank God you changed her school. More wisdom and grace.
ReplyDeleteI hate bullies with passion.
I remember when I was in primary school. There was a particular boy that bullied me. I was smallish back then. He was bigger than all of us in class. He was always picking on me. I dreaded after school cos he will wait for me. We lived in the same neighborhood so we had the same route. This boy will follow me and be hitting me with a stick or he will hit my legs.
I didn't have anyone to complain to cos my elder sister, who used to be my bodyguard, had gone to secondary school (boarding house). I couldn't tell my parents either.
This went on for two terms.
One day, in third term primary 4, i decided to confront my Goliath. It's either he wins or I win.
That hot afternoon, after school, I made my way to go, this boy, in the company of his fellow bullies, was waiting for me.
The moment I passed where they were gathered, he hit my legs. I charged towards him, with my might, like a wounded lion, and pushed him down😂😂.
Kai, no one expected what happened. It was swift! I hit his face with my bag and stuffed sand into his mouth 😂😂. It then dawned on my that my Goliath was actually not as strong as I thought. I beat and bit him.
See hailings!! Even his fellow bullies started chanting, "Ifeanyi atala aja o", lol. Back then, once you push your opponent to the floor and stuff his/her mouth with sand, you're the winner!
A teacher came and separated us. He flogged us for fighting. I didn't mind the flogging at all. I was overjoyed with my victory. I walked out of the school gate like a warrior 🤣🤣. My Goliath was in tears as his friends yabbed him. "Ifeanyi isigi Ike. Nwanyi kurugi Jaja"😂😂
That afternoon, marked the end of being bullied till I left school. He avoided not just me but every other person cos they taunted and made mockery of him that he was big for nothing. The hunter became the hunted.
Abeg, make una pardon my long epistle❤️❤️
This really made me laugh 😂😂😂
DeleteI detest bullies , I was bullied but the day I charged up !!!! Mmmmh lemme stop here .
Dear Poster it's never too late to start anew.
It goes beyond being bullied , we are in perilous times, we live in a crazy world where all sorts happen , make your child(ren) really comfortable with you , you'd not regret this 😘🤗😘
Aww!! ❤❤❤
DeleteAwwwwww, ịsị kwara ike ooh!
Delete😂😂😂😂 I had a good laugh at your narrative, 'Nwanyi kuru jị jaja' lol!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 @ "Ifeanyi atala aja o" .... "Ifeanyi isigi Ike. Nwanyi kurugi Jaja" 🤣🤣🤣 Oh My Ribs!
DeleteMy 'Amazon' mom is the first person I tell everything and my eldest sister too. Right from my primary school to my job. Her advice backs my decisions.
Nobody can even bully or victimize me because I will put you in your place. It's simply not in my nature to cower.
I was bullied in school by a guy so much that I also wanted to quit school. God just handled the whole thing so I understand this.
ReplyDeleteMadam, you did your best, just try to improve your communication and relationship with your kids. God help us, parents. It is well.
It means you were not close to your son too because he could have told you what the problem was. Thank God it wasn't too late. Please, do better by being close to your children, even the one left in that school needs to monitored.
ReplyDeleteMay God lead us to lead our kids aright.
Thank you Stella for posting this.God bless u and URS.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying my best to be closer to her now..told her to always talk to me abt anything,I'm here for me.
I felt I've failed her cos I allowed her go thru all these alone cos if I had listened or asked her,it wouldn't have reached that extend..as if it reduced her self esteem.
Bvs thanks for all ur inputs..God bless u all.
Bullying really makes me mad, and I always react like a wounded lion, if anyone bullies me or my children.
ReplyDeleteThat is how my child's teacher will be calling him orobo and his mate too will be using that to bully him, making my child hate school and always feeling bad about his body.
Kaiii😒, what I did to that teacher Ehennn, she will never forget it.
I even reported her to the school management and told her to make sure none of the class mates bully my child, if not, I will wait for her after school and show her shege
Nonsense and ingredients 😒😒😒
There is this boy in my son's class, he is so fat that if you see him you must stare, as soon as he joined the class as a new student, there was a rule that anyone that talked about his weight will be expelled , the boy is so happy and jovial and enjoying the school, I guess bullying was the reason for his changing school to my sons school
DeleteBuilding a relationship with one's kids is very important. I'm glad you changed her school.
ReplyDeletePlease, teach her to have a forgiving heart. It's well
Apologise to her for not noticing on time. Reassure her you will always be there for her and will do all you can to never disappoint her as a mother. Be her friend and encourage her to never hesitate to talk to you. And forgive yourself. I am happy it wasn't sexual molestation.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, this is very true. I too was bullied in primary school. I didn't even know it then but who sigh, I was a happy child with *sharp mouth* so if you give me one, my mouth will never run out of reply.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to listen to your kids and find out where their trouble comes from. It's also good to allow them fight their battles sometimes. Let them know when it's OK to fight back or just walk away. Teach them "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt him" teach them that bullies have low self esteem and they shouldn't always belittle themselves by replying to a bully. Also make your daughters and sons as well understand that they are beautiful/handsome and rich and they can achieve whatever they set out to achieve whenever and wherever.
Also study your child and know if he/she is the bully or bullied.
Mind your attitude in the presence of your kids, watch what you say.
17:19!👌🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
DeleteI have very bad acne,pimple all over my face and I'm am adult, I don't use makeup because it worsens it. I have honestly done every thing I can. Just imagine what I go through in the hands of bullies.
ReplyDeleteMy dear if you can afford please get a medical facial . Stop rubbing creams for now. Get the facial done first . I’d recommend a spa but Stella might not post the name.
DeleteDear if you see this comment do not ignore. Get vitamin C (1000mg) and vit A. Each is 100tab in it, so it's going to last for 3momths plus. Trust me I had cystic acne for 16 good years! Needles to recount all I used to no avail. You will glow! Vit c is quite expensive now though
Delete18:07 please see a consultant dermatologist. That's what solved mine. From registration to consultancy as well as the medicine, it cost me just 13,000. Now my face is flawless like in my pre-teen years.
DeleteDon't go to a Spa. I wasted so much money at the Spa without solution.
I have learnt from this. I pray to God for wisdom to take good care of my children
ReplyDeleteThis is why when my son gets home I always ask him so what happened at school today and he tells me everything that happened. I tell him to tell me all the time if someone upset him even if it is a teacher so I can go to school and talk to the teacher. He will tell me himself mummy can you go and talk to my teacher because of so and so reason.
ReplyDeleteThank God she is doing Great... May God guide us mother's towards making good decisions.
ReplyDeleteThat's how I rescue one of my students from her mates.
ReplyDeleteAbigail is a very timid due to her not so good performance in her school work and another problem is that she smell bad during her monthly flow. Even her buccal hygiene too is not good at all.
They always give her space, nobody talks or play with her,she always withdrawn and sad.
So I spoke with them and gave them examples of students or young one who committed suicide due exactly what they're doing to Abigail. They changed and with the help of other teachers we talked to Abigail, infact I bought her rollon and we also invited her mother concerning the smell during her flow.
A lot of these adolescents are going through stuff and they felt talking down on other makes them feel good.
It got to a point that I had to move my seat into the class as I'm their class teacher because,I realized that a lot happen when no teacher is around. Jss3 students o, they're so secretive ehn.
Abigail's case is just one out of many that I've handled,I'm tired of typing...
May God help us all in guiding this children in the right way.
You’re doing good. Keep it up. God will surely bless you. Wish more teachers will pay attention to the kids in their school. Zero tolerance for bullying.
Delete