Na waaah...........
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SNOOPING REVEALS HUBBY AS SERIAL LOVERBOY
I can't help imagining how long I have been a fool. And to think I trusted him.
The most painful part is that his Younger sister even pimps her friends to him.
Just confronted him and he denied everything. He wiped all the messages immediately.
I can live with a lot of things but cheating and DV is a no no for me. I don't think I can forget this.
I suspected this months ago and he denied everything. I have been replaying all his lies in my head , I can't believe I have been a fool.
I told him I'm done with the marriage. As he left for his working base in Uyo I told him not to bother coming back.
The only thing on my mind now is to get a lawyer to discuss my options. I'm heavily pregnant and due by early October. I don't want to have HBP or let my emotions affect my poor baby.
He has been calling. I'm torn, drained, shattered. I don't know the right words.
I don't even know why I'm sending this here. I don't know who to share my pains with. Pls somebody should say something to me.
*If walking away will save your life then do it....All these serial husbands that come back home to gift their wives several STD's and STI's or even HIV/AIDS.....if you have fallen out of love and no longer wish to try,then walk away.
Don’t be quick to making decisions when you are angry. Calm down and think. The Lord will see you through.
ReplyDeleteThis what i would do:
DeleteI am selfish as fuck so for my own sake, I will allow him beg me, pamper me, get him to swear on all he holds dear, buy me gifts, enjoy his attention and recover my peace till I put to bed.
My dear, decision to divorce is not one you take when you are vulnerable. It will consume you. Take your precious time no matter how long you need to gather your wits then decide how you want to punish him. Divorce sef might not be the well deserved punishment as most times you too are not spared from the psychological trauma that comes with it. There are many ways to deal with a disloyal husband, eat your cake and still have it.
Madam calm down, since this the first time it is coming to your knowledge then try and forgive him and make the marriage work , one more time. Let him know you won't tolerate his cheatinh habits and that you just don't want to give up, give him a second and third chance. After the third take your final decision. Even God will bear you witness that you tried. Also start using condom oo, to avoid diseases. Sorry about the disappointment.
DeleteErr...poster says the man is still denying. He hasn't even acknowledged he did anything wrong. How do you forgive this type of person? This Chronicle is making me feel bad.
DeleteDont leave your marriage because your husband cheated on you,madam. Is there no room for forgiveness in your heart,at least for the sake of your baby? You want the baby to be born into a broken home,haba.
DeleteYou said he lives in another state,that means he has plenty free time away from you. That one alone is a recipe for cheating. Pregnant women too often times don't want to have sex,either for medical reasons or they just aren't in the mood. Hubby might have just done it to scratch an itch,he doesn't love those girls. You are the one he loves and the mother of his child. I am not making excuses for him,but pls calm down and don't throw your marriage away over a problem that can be fixed.
You can take time out from him to peacefully birth your baby,but after that you guys need to work on healing your marriage. He is denying and may never accept,most likely to spare you the hurt. Give him conditions going forward..he will really try to keep to them if he doesn't want to lose you.
Right now,your baby is the most important person.
Poster, it might seem difficult but if you can't tolerate it then take a walk please for the sake of your kids.
DeleteI hate divorce but once my husband tries it and I find out that is the end of the marriage. My sister did Ruth abukoko for eight years, at the end she is widowed with hiv. No child, no husband and no good health. If only she had left when I told her to? So poster do whatever gives you peace of mind apart from harming anyone. The Lord is your strength.
Madam, take heart. Take sapphires advice. In fact take it to first bank and cash it. You will be fine. Just tell yourself he is not God.
DeletePls dont take any rash and hasty decision to divorce him. Will that make you feel better until you give birth? Can you cope with the additional discomfort, lack of inner peace and worries. Honestly, most men are cheaters and polygamous in disguise, including most men of God in both Faiths. However, some of them have succeeded in hiding it so well until they are caught or exposed - some are never exposed till death. Even married women have joined the fold and doing it better than the men. Your next relationship may not be different. Sorry, ignorance is bliss.
DeleteNa that STDs and HIV be the result. May God give the women courage, wisdom and direction in handling randy horsebands.
DeleteSafe delivery
First of all get tested for everything under the sun and bill him for triple the cost of the tests and emotional trauma. Next wipe your tears and guard your heart and become very very rational. Since he works away from home and you are about to deliver extract as much money as you can from him with regards to hospital costs, post natal care etc because once you divorce that may be it for you. He is playing away because he has extra money to fling around. Then find and safeguard every important document relating to your properties etc. Please be very strategic and rational. Men usually are.
DeleteI have been laughing really hard at these comments. All you women advising the poster to remain in that marriage will never get the same treatment by any of your husbands if the men catch you women cheating. Your husbands will throw you women out without thinking twice. But here you are advising her to risk her mental and physical health for an unrepentant cheat!
Delete@ poster, please do whatever you need to do for your wellbeing and that of your baby, even if it means walking away. A lot of women realize too late that whatever you feel that you gain from clinging to a bad marriage is worthless when that marriage destroys your health. No man is worth getting STD or HIV for.
Please say "serial adulterer"
ReplyDeleteI like to call sins by their names.
That's how God calls them.
Yes, please don't take any decision now. You're angry, pregnant and hormonal, just take your time, put to bed, then weigh your options and by then your hormones are settled, then you can decide what's next.
DeleteMy sister divorce is not sexy o, it can get dirty and messy plus kids involved.
Please take your time.
Please poster calm down.Especially in your condition.I would advice you to take things easy now until you put to bed.Just try your best not to let this get your pressure high i beg you.
DeleteI know it hurts,but your major concern now should be your health and that of your baby.When next you are in the hospital,try and run std tests,hiv/aids e.t.c.In order to be extra careful when baby is coming.High blood pressure during pregnancy is not an easy journey at all.So try to be happy and grateful that it was not too late you discovered this.Everything happens for a reason.
Let your temper calm down,then you start weighing your options and descisions.It is 3 months to go until baby is here.Wait until then,then you execute your plans.If you have a matured and wise person in your life that is not a gossip that will spread your news,then please you can invite the person to your house or call on phone to encourage you and share words of wisdom to you.Because there's a freedom that comes with pouring your heart out to someone,just venting and crying it out.If not this is a public platform,I would have shared my Pastor's wife number.That woman just has the right words and full of wisdom.You can inbox me for her number,in case you need a good counsel and someone to pour your heart to.
This Corona period i almost had a heart attack over an issue that i was over thinking about,as young as i am,God used that lady in my life.I just learnt a hard lesson.If you are healthy,you are comfortable and can afford to eat,you are blessed than u think.
As for that your sister-in-law pimping her friends to your hubby,she should know what goes around comes around.shebi na woman she be,she would be praying for faithful husband too? Issorait,don't forget that your hubby cheating on you is not the end of the world.
Some Sister in-laws are stupid. Mine even chat with two of Hubby's girlfriends. I complained and I am happy God has punished her now
DeleteThe sister in law doesnt love her brother.
DeletePray for him.
Those people that say, it rains everywhere.. all men cheat bla boa bla... Better move on with your life since you say cheating is a deal breaker for you, coz if you accept him back, life will never remain the same.
ReplyDeleteStella there are many of us like this that our husbands are cheating on us and divorce is not an option, I wish we can have where we relate and forget about how these dogs called men are treating us. Lockdown affects my job, I've been home all these while, no friend to relate with and the man will be chatting with his girlfriend while I don't have anyone to chat with. Boredom is what's killing me not the dog I called husband
DeleteYes walk away , is it too much to ask? 🤷🏾♀️Poster I wish success with your journey to motherhood. Nothing will happen to you and your baby. Maybe you guys need to separate for the time being.
ReplyDeleteMy lady,just focus on yourself for now and ur unborn child,hope you have a job or business,focus on that too,I know it's not easy but you need no such stress,focus on all of you,take a good long break from your hubby,he will come around,no intimacy till further notice,that is when he turns a new leaf,above all take it to God in prayer,peace✌️✌️
ReplyDelete99% of them do....
ReplyDelete.... and they all believe they have the 1%.
DeleteThe women also do, so no qualms
BlackBerry, you are very correct. Moreover, two can play the game now - married women are even out smarting their husbands and cheating more now. Ignorance is bliss, jare! Let's all continue the game
DeleteWell, mine started early last month and late last month he took the girl to hostel, they only romance and didn't have sex, read it and he denied everything then changed his password. I have the feelings they went out last Saturday to do the do. My love for him is now 2%, yet, we're doing as if everything is fine, but he's aware I know. For him not to beg for forgiveness is the reason I will punish him, in fact, I won't forgive him. Wedding of less than a year, he's the one that deflowered me and I never had sex with another man. Yet after 1st round, his thing won't stand up again and I do complain I'm not satisfied, and he's begging one small girl for sex that he can go 3-5 rounds. We're planning to relocate, God knows I will revenge, I won't forgive him, I might not cheat, but I will punish him for making me to have sleepless night
DeleteMy advice to new brides that see such and do nothing about is that you are giving the infidelity chair in your home.
DeleteIf you know you do not like it, you better table the matter. The moment you both sweep it under the carpet, it will give him the courage to continue, after all you won't say anything and he has already changed his password.
How can a young man not respect his wife enough. What you dont like, do not accept. Never manage a situation or else you will live a bitter marriage.
Dear poster, let him suffer before you eventually forgive so that he will understand the gravity of what he did. Never forgive too easily... If you want to take a walk, do so.
Is your husband Godfearing? Are you Godfearing? Did you have sex with him before marriage? If yes, then what do you expect? You don't learn left hand in old age. If he's a Godfearing person who abstained from premarital sex because of the fear of God then you're right to be shocked. But if both of you were fornicating before marriage then I see no surprise here. That is the problem we have in marriages and Nigeria as a whole. People don't fear God. So choose whom you'll serve. If you've chosen God, remember that you can't remarry after divorce. Peace.
ReplyDelete🙄🙄🙄
Delete🙄🙄🙄
DeleteWho is this one. Please shift go front.
DeleteThis one just carry bible for head like afro, who told u God fearing men dont cheat? The urge to cheat is bigger than the fear of God
DeleteYou are talking in the nonsense.
DeleteNwanne Jesus🙄
DeleteAre you for real? Are there not virgins who got married to men who ended up cheating on them? Were you on holiday when a chronicle was posted of a lady who married as a virgin yet her husband threw her out for his pregnant mistress?
DeleteNa wa for you o. You people don't cease to amaze me. Blame the innocent woman. Nothing for the man that broke his wedding vows. Shame on you. May life not humble you.
@16:13
DeleteShe wasn't talking about marrying a virgin but being god-fearing,
being saved. Being a virgin, in as much as it is a virtue, is not a ticket to eternal life.
Another one has come.
DeleteSeriously anon 15:09? So this is a justification for infidelity in marriage? Nothing person no go hear for SDK blog.
DeleteThank you mummy G.O
DeleteI fear who no fear you.
My dear what of the pastor's that commit adultery? If u get mind, keep one sexy clean as maid and travel for 2 weeks. I swear announcing will leave your husband.
Delete🤣🤣🤣 see the rolling of Eyes nau... Nwa Jesus, Wehdone o...
DeleteShut up abeg.
DeleteMy dad was a serial womaniser and up until now that he's 70,he still does but very minimal now.
ReplyDeleteMy mum knew but did nothing. Maybe the norms of those days and now,aren't the same. Rather,we've been in peace all these years. I guess my mum coped with it and there's hasn't been one quarrel about his cheating habit.
But she sha told us her children that she stopped every sexual activities with him immediately she had our last born till date.
So dear poster,you know what's best for you. Follow that inner thought of yours cause it hardly fails.
Be strong for you baby.
The race as it is now,is all man on your own. Gone are these were it's all about my husband, my husband. Focus on yourself and see you glowing.
Hugs to your mother. It couldn't have been easy.🤗🤗
DeleteHmm Poster abeg as LL Cool J line in the J-Lo song'' Take it easy, don't make decisions when you are mad about something'' It is very very painful my dear but take it easy..I will advise you give him the silent treatment..Breath easy dear and I wish you a stress free delivery..
DeleteYour mother is a rare gem.
Delete@Tbabe we are in the same boat, my dad is in his early 70 too, a serial womanizer who can give women anything just to be between their legs, he has stroke and he is still chasing woman. My mother knew abt it and she is still there bcos of her children but there is nothing like sexual intercourse btw them bcos my dad told her that his JT is not functioning which is functioning outside... to cut the story short, poster kindly focus on ur unborn child and keep glowing and also keep praying for him. I know it is not easy but u need to be focus.. I pray the Lord will save him for the hands of strange women
Delete@Kami,thanks. I wish to have the kind of mind my mum has but then again,no 2 human are the same. Even twins.
Delete@Phoenix,that silent treatment you sujjested,that is it. Not actually leaving the marriage.
@ms tee,yes she is indeed. She keeps advising us not to build our lives around any man in the name of husband.
What a pity, lady?!
ReplyDeleteThis is painful.
But telling him not to bother coming back, isn't that driving him straight into the hands
of strange women?
Seems you have chosen divorce even before writing us.
I have learnt in my experiences in life, not to be hasty with decisions,
especially when one is angry.
Like allowing him into the house but
being silent, meditative, prayerful and of course no intercourse for the moment could
have been a better option.
Watch him and see if he comes clean and repentant. 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
Please it is better she asked him to stay away because she knows herself. God forbid let's not hear that one wandering d**k has been cut off or other stories that touch. But madam think it through before taking your final decision. God will see you through.
DeleteHe’s already in the hand of other women so what are you saying? I pity all the women commenting she should stay and not divorce shows the kind of marriages you’re putting up with and lack of self worth. If you want to stay with an adulterous man, stay but don’t advise another woman to and No! Not all men cheat dear. Nigerian women are pathetic that’s why they will keep cheating and devaluing all of you.
DeleteI know this is painful and heart breaking but, calm down,dont make or take a decision out of anger.
ReplyDeleteChia,NNE so sorry,pls be strong for ur baby,just relax n birth ur child first,bfor u think of leaving biko.God is in control.
ReplyDeleteMay God confort you dear.
ReplyDeleteIt's really painful
Looks like in your anger, you didn't even collect the evidence for yourself and his sister?
ReplyDelete🦜🦜🦜🦜
Walking away is the biggest error u will ever made.all men cheat.
ReplyDeleteAssociation of terrible men(president)
ATM not all men cheat.
DeleteMajority but not all dear.
DeleteTake a break to get back your sanity. Peace
ReplyDeleteMadam,go and sit down!!..
ReplyDeleteSee her mouth like you cant stand a cheating man..
Since you cant stand your cheating husband,divorce him!
Let's see if the next man you will meet will never cheat!...
Cheat back my friend,get a boyfriend that would be totori your heart and forget about your cheating husband..
Somebody please pour me water. Abi na mouth to mouth resuscitation in need like that NDDC MD. Queen is at it again.😰😰😰😰
DeleteIdiot. Stupid woman. You're devoid of the most miniscule of sense. 15:12, go and cure your madness. Aturu
DeleteHonestly you need Jesus!!!!
DeleteHow will cheating back, exposing herself to devils
Deleteand diseases remove her pain and make her more godly and joyful?
Are you wise at all?
Poster pls flee from this advice🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃
Delete😁😀queen and boss this your advice ehen, Chineke God.
DeleteSaphire please wake up😁
Queen why now! Dont add more fuel to a raging fire
DeleteTuwale 👐👐👐👐👐👐👐👐👐👐
DeletePlease don't take Queen's advice.
DeleteTwo wrongs never make a right. Madam,do what gives you peace cos thats the most important thing;your peace of mind.
DeleteBut pls,don't take decisions with this state of mind.Decisions n actions taken in a state of anger most times turns to regrets.
May God restore peace into your home in Jesus name.Amen
So ordinary cheati,this one want to walk away.
ReplyDeleteU no serious.
Most people have deal breakers you know. There is no point calling her unserious.
DeleteSome people have integrity
Delete@ATM
DeleteCheat is not "ordinary"
It is deadly. It exposes the couple, their children
to sexually transmitted diseases and demonic influence.
You ended up not giving her any solution 😏😏😏
You see it as ORDINARY.
DeleteShe DOESN'T.
Really,so cheating is just ordinary
DeleteYou have no right to tell her how to feel abeg shift
Delete@ATM, your moral compass is skewed therefore your reasoning as regards adultery.
DeleteIf you are a Christian, I'll ask you to read Gods position as regards Adultery since it is 'Ordinary' to you.
Please for the sake of your baby, don't give yourself BP, if staying far from him will give you peace of mind then go ahead.
ReplyDeleteIts the lies and deceit that hurts most sometimes, not even the cheating. Your Sis-in-law is a proper Hoe!
ReplyDeleteBefore you make a hasty mistake by divorce, seat and ask him the reason he's cheating. Divorce is not the solution to every marital crisis. Most men will cheat except the opportunity is not given. It very obvious the man loves you, the reason he's calling. Be wise and don't take divorce as solution
ReplyDeleteThe reason he's cheating? U are very funny and naive
DeleteDo they need a reason to cheat? A willing woman is all they need.
DeleteReason ke
DeleteMy concern is the wellbeing of your innocent baby and not forgetting you likewise.
Please be calm to take the best decision for you 😍
What could be the reason? Lemme answer you intrajobs. The only wrong she did herehis keeping her body for the worthless Akpa amu that can't even satisfy her bur quick to chase another Gyal!!! She did wrong trusting Him.. She was wrong to love Him🙄 Are you okay with the reasons or should I go further?
DeleteDo whatever that suits you. If you can't forgive, leave the marriage but you can give him a second chance to see if he will change since there is no DV. No perfect man out there.
ReplyDeletePoster, walk! Adultery is a scriptural grounds for divorce. If he sincerely repents forgive with the condition that you have access to his phone(s),email and ALL social media accounts. Plus the keys to where he lives in Oyo.
ReplyDeleteJay Stevens even God Almighty gives us second chances, why shouldn't she give her husband/marriage a second chance?
DeleteSecond chance,forgiveness comes with acknowledgment.
DeleteHow do you forgive him when he has refused to own up? His oldingbon to innocent only means that he will do it again.
My dear sister,the fact that your husband is cheating is not enough reason to leave him,my love it rains everywere.8yrs nor b 8days...be patient and Noe deprive d love of a father from you beautiful baby...just make him suffer and tell me how pissed u are and the next time something happen you would desolve d marriage,please don't make hasty decisions
ReplyDeleteWe know men cheat,but enough of this it rains everywhere.
DeleteTaking a walk is not the best option bcos most men cheat, unless u want to remain single all ur life. You can actually punish him by threatening to leave the marriage as you've just done. You can go hiding at ur friends place or somewhere else, trust me he will go crazy considering the fact that you guys have TTC'ed for 8years.. because u didn't state if u already have children
DeleteMs Tee, what's your problem? When you get married, walk out of your marriage of 8yrs because your husband cheated. Nonsense!
Delete@Anon 18:07
DeleteGo pour your frustration else well pls,cos I'm married.
You have every right to leave him. Even the bible permits you. Once the trust I'd broken, it can never be amended. You will always suspect him.
ReplyDeleteDear poster if I tell I know how you feel am lying bcx I don't have the idea of what it feels like when one is cheated on. But my advice is that calm down and find any other solutions to the problem aside leaving your marriage as that may not be a good approach to the situation. 90% of single and married men cheat. If you leave your marriage because your husband cheat, how are you sure the next person you would get married to won't cheat? The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know. In a nutshell, am not in anyway supporting cheating but its becoming a norm in our society today. Find another means to stop your hubby from cheating but not by leaving your marriage.
ReplyDeleteMay God heal your Heart.
This is so painful to read! Poster, please concentrate on your mental health and your unborn baby for now. Don't give in to too much thinking and don't fight him.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is a wicked man and your sister in-law is the secretary to the devil😈. She's pimping her friends for her married brother; she will drink from the same miserable cup some day.
Ask God for wisdom on how to handle every thing and I believe He will grant you wisdom.
I wish you strength and courage 🤗🤗💖💕
The sister- inlaw is evil,how can she be so wicked to her fellow woman.
DeleteI know someone that pimped her friend to her dad and her mum was the only wife. Her dad is dead now.
DeleteSome people are terribly wicked
Pretty girlie and tonia unu ashi nini 😲😲😲😲
DeleteWe once had a neighbour years ago who died from AIDS. Her husband infected her. Their kids grew up as orphans and family members had to share and raise them. A person who cheats will most likely bring home a disease. If you stay, I hope you protect yourself. I hope you choose rightly, especially for your kids.
ReplyDeleteVery sad..Can you imagine!!
DeleteI also know a family like that in my church. Grandma had to raise the poor kids just because their father was a reckless adulterer!
DeleteI will implore you to place your happiness over the situation.
ReplyDeleteTake a break to find solace,if there are reasons to reconsider him, don't hesitate.
you've the right to be annoyed,a cheat will either bring death to his/herself or on the partner.
Yeah, she definitely needs a break!
DeleteNdo nnem
ReplyDeleteYeye man.
He's been calling and saying what exactly?
I feel your pain but I will advice you to be calm,have a me time,then sit your husband down and have a talk with him.
ReplyDeleteI won't advice you divorce him
After the talk and the womanising continues then you can have a rethink on what step to take.
Divorce is worse on the children
Dear poster blank him for now. Your focus should be you and your unborn child. After you've birthed take any decision that gives you peace.
ReplyDeleteThose younger sisters that pimp their friends to their married brothers, may life deal with you all.
ReplyDeletePoster just calm down OK, what your husband and sis in law did is very bad, but weigh your options, are u ready to have your baby alone?Do you have a strong business or job to cater for you and the baby? If yes, then go ahead and divorce him.
ReplyDeleteOr you both can see a therapist and work your marriage out, and pray, pray well and ask God for his wisdom, grace and divine direction. Every marriage has it won issues, how you both handle it is what matters. Best of luck.
Just calm down. Don't take a decision until you've thought long and hard about the whole situation. Reason am well. You can go for a separation instead until you decide on what's best for you and your baby.
ReplyDeletePlease just separate from him for now, don't be in a haste to divorce him. It's not easy but with time you will be healed
ReplyDeletePlease don't take any harsh decision now, just focus on your health first, though a cheating spouse us a walking time bomb, many diseases out there, but some people say all men cheats, but I believe there are lots 9f men who doesnt,
ReplyDeletePoster so sorry for what you are going through..pls calm down and don't stress yourself for now cos of your pregnancy! Focus more on yourself and take good care of yourself and baby! Praying that God gives you the wisdom you need concerning this situation
ReplyDeleteYou are just taking decisions out of anger.
ReplyDeleteYou are pregnant and vulnerable,just take it easy on yourself.
For me I would advise you keep calm. Do not sleep with him without protection and start saving for your exit.
Pray while at it
What about having your family talk to him?
ReplyDeletePoster pls calm down, you can give him space but not divorce.
ReplyDeleteEven when he want to meet you insist to use condom or him going for test.
Dear poster, please discuss with him. Maybe he's just a serial flirt; team look and talk but never touch
ReplyDeleteKai! This blog is fool of double faced people. Now imagine if a man send this chronicle, would you give him the same advice of staying with a cheating woman?
ReplyDeleteGosh the comments! look at how y'all have normalized cheating in marriage? the institution ordained by God and supposed to be without blemish ? and is the legal grounds for divorce? Y'all need a better sense of self esteem because the ones you have now stinks to high heavens! Please raise your standards ok
ReplyDeleteWhat's your problem? You are just talking out of life's inexperience. You will see life shortly. Our great grandfathers were polygamous and more decent than current husbands with one wife. You women better recondition your minds and decide whether you want to get married or not. Most men will cheat as long as the current society or christianity make them to remain monogamous in marriage. They will continue to maintain many mistresses outside.
DeleteI’m completely shocked! The psyche of Nigerian women has been shattered. Hardly anyone is blaming the man. It’s sickening
Delete'If you can't forgive, please, don't marry. Marriage is Ministry of 'Offence', so you must be a permanent Secretary in Forgiveness Department, with a PHD in Understanding, MSC in Loving & a BSC in tolerance'
ReplyDeleteSomeone sent this message today and its applicable to all marriages.Please don't make a hasty decision. Report him to someone he respects if he refuses to acknowledge and apologise and have a have a heart to heart discussion with his sister who pimps her friends to him. Let her know that she will reap whatever she sows. May the Lord heal your heart. I know its not easy but please take it easy for your self and your baby. God has got your back.
World is over 8 billion with the male 51.9% and female 48.1. If all men cheat and we have 1% left. It's still a huge number. What's The 1% of 4 billion or more? When people claim 1% is what we have left. I just laugh. If only they know what that little percentage carries. The issue here is that 1% is dispersed all around the world but they exist. Who are the 1% people talk about all the time? The angels in heaven? Of course not. People will tell you "if you leave what If you end up meeting someone who is a serial cheat like him". Well, what if you don't? Yes! The odds are high. For every 10 godly men, you meet for every 1000 ungodly men. But what don't know is a cheat is just an ungodly person and nowadays how many people are godly. Please no one should say, pastor. The word "Pastor" is a mere title, not a lifestyle. A religious person is different from a godly person. Godliness is a lifestyle and Godly men are not in extinction. No one should be fooled. Elijah told God he was the only one left who feared him enough not to bow down to Baal but God told him there were many others. 7000 men in numbers.
ReplyDeleteIt is easy to know men who would cheat and those who wouldn't. My brother is married and his wife is blessed to have him. He will tell you he hasn't seen what will make him miss heaven. He told me, "it is not important you get married nor have kids, nor have riches but one thing Is only important "don't miss God". He has gotten lots of opportunities to engage in fraud, immorality and all the nonsense but he will rather not. He will tell you" no enjoyment here in form of a woman, wealth, vanities can never be compared to the crown God has In store for me" he isn't perfect but he is a good man by all standard. He doesn't cheat. There was a search in his office but he was excluded. The chairman told them specifically to let him be. The police were shocked. They told the chairman they haven't interrogated Mr Mike. He said they asked the man why and he replied Mr mike doesn't like to offend God. And he was right. Someone else was the culprit. A man who sees a missing phone and keeps it will cheat. A man who doesn't see anything wrong with porn, masturbation, premarital sex will cheat.
Likes going to strip club he will cheat. There is no difference between a cheat and a killer. They just wake up and choose to gift their partners deadly diseases. Anyone who cheats on you hates his life and hates your too. Asides from the diseases, they bring spiritual problems into their family. Poster do whatever makes you happy. Nobody deserves a cheat. Divorce him If you want. He has already broken the covenant of marriage. So you are free. You aren't binded by any oath. Your marriage was meant to be between you him and God as the witness of your union. Funny enough he broke the covenant to you and God and brought in extra women. At that point, God left because you both no longer had a marriage( based on the definition of what marriage is in God's eye) but just, combined fellowship since other women are included( the bed is now defiled. The moment he stepped his foot out and committed adultery. God stepped out of that covenant. Since he has broken it. Except he asked for forgiveness and turn a new leaf. The marriage doesn't have God involvement. Sadly he doesn't seem like one who will admit his flaws and change. He is not even admitting he did anything wrong. He didn't keep to his own end of the bargain, you aren't obligated to keep yours. You are free to leave or stay. Remember, Marriage is between two people not two people and the "extras on the side".
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DeleteLove your comment @sabella. Very explicit
DeleteNonsense.
DeleteYou are full of wisdom sabella👌.good men exist.
DeleteThis anon must be a man o because no woman with common sense would write this nonsene you just wrote.the advice really bite you for yansh🤣🤣 If you cheat on your wife and she knows just know she is cheating back on your ugly yansh
If you are a woman then you have lost your self-esteem teytey. The I must marry gang by fire by force. Na dem dem
Goggle battered woman syndrome
that your man will cheat till old age he will kukuma cover his track wella so you would not know but the cheating continue.
God bless you for this piece. Women wake up!
DeletePoster I feel so bad for you since your hubby won't own up to his mess.Please take things easy especially with your condition, just do what will make you happy now.All the best.
ReplyDeleteAll that I just typed just vanished...
DeleteDon't worry your self that your Sister in law will experience worse than she ever bargained.
You need to carefully think about evertything. Do not be in hesitate so make decisions as any decision you make will affect your baby and your self in the long run.
You need to confide in one of your trusted parent. Also remember to seek the face of God for Guidance and Grace.
I wish you safe delivery...
If I were in your shoe at the moment, I will just ghost him till I am able to process the situation. I can't come and kill myself and my unborn because of an irresponsible cheat.
ReplyDeleteSincerely, this man here does not deserve to give you sleepless night how much more HBP in pregnancy.
That is how my friend husband gave her high abi na low blood pressure during pregnancy. She went into premature labour. All because of community prick. Leave the man she no gree
DeleteThe baby came out so underweight. Got pregnant second time confronted horseband about cheating. He rushed her blows in the tummy o premature labour catch her immediately. The man is still cheating as we speak. I don't know how people advice others to stay in pain maybe because the pain isn't physical. Forget o emotional pain is worse but they would say divorce is not an option stay there in eternal pain with a horse and you now hate. Just face your kids o like she got married to face the kids. Everybody should just cheat and let hear word abeg. Or practice entanglement like the smith😎
This brought back painful memories, i dont even want to go there
ReplyDeletePoster I am very sure u think DAT statement u guys said in church for better for worst is beans???maybe christains shud remove DAT in dia vows.so u can't forgive cheating u will divorce him n marry d next person DAT will not cheat will DOA be sticker on d next person DAT will promise no cheating???
ReplyDeleteLet me tell u poster all of us married women In sis generation just have to source happiness in our selves our happiness shudnt be laid on did men
Just breath hang in there dia some lovely advice up there pls read but divorce is not an option for now
We will all win dis battle and just one day we learn to give better stories
*If you can't forgive, please, don't marry. Marriage is Ministry of 'Offence', so you must be a permanent Secretary in Forgiveness Department, with a PHD in Understanding, MSC in Loving & a BSC in tolerance.* please forgive him for your own peace of mind.
ReplyDeleteForgiveness has a process nau. You show remorse( which he isn't )
DeleteYou ask for forgiveness( he isn't asking)
You change your ways( he doesn't seem interested)
Then you make amendment( he is not doing that too)
Forgiveness is given after repentance. And the man is not doing any of the above.
@poster, pls don't be hasty in your decision, do not contact any lawyer, for now. I suggest you just keep him mute and focus on your pregnancy, since he is out to his work base. Ignore his calls and pleadings - meditate on God's Word concerning the issue and ask Him for direction BUT don't worry yourself about it. I think the major issue here is not just that he committed adultery but that he denied, even deleted evidences and left without resolving the issue with you. His action, however, may be as a result of the fact that he was afraid of your reaction had he accepted his mistake or he is just an unrepentant adulterer. I know this is very difficult but we all deserve a 2nd chance since God gives us many chances - but it depends on his actions/inaction from now - if he is able to take time off his base/work to come resolve issue with you, showing how remorseful he is and his commitment never to do such again, then you should brace yourself to accept him.
ReplyDeleteNow, this may not be applicable in your case but I advice married couples not to stay apart for 3 consecutive months irrespective of reasons they have. This is because apart from companionship, the major reason for marriage is sexual pleasures but when a couple are far apart, especially for long periods (say 3 months), anything is bound to happen.
Please, take your time and allow God's Spirit guide you.
Madam don't be in a hest to take any decision, for the sake of your unborn child and your health. As for your sister in-law her own karma is waiting for her
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, please take time to think about this. Firstly, I would report hubby & his sister to their parents, so they understand the type of children they have. Secondly, I will take things easy, focus on my baby and not say a word about it again, considering that I would forgive him in this instance, being the 1st time. I would let my silence kill him and enjoy the pampering that follows. Henceforth, sex must be with a condom.
ReplyDeleteI am not certain I will forgive him if it happens again.
This was the first time she caught him but This wasn't the first time he cheated. So there is a difference. He has been cheating for years. He will do it again but he will be smarter so she won't catch him.
DeleteYou people are telling her to stay with an adulterer but when a man complained that his wife has temper issues you said he should leave the wife. For men they can leave but for women marriage is more important than life and peace of mind. Okay
ReplyDeleteNigerian women value marriage more than life itself. They will risk AIDS, spiritual attack, fraud, theft, murder, just for marriage. Meanwhile the men don’t send us
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