Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmmmmmm......

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

A MARRIAGE FULL OF HICCUPS


Good day Stella,


As I write this I'm pained. Please forgive the long read. Let me give a bit of background.


My wife is a wonderful person... when she wants to be. But her main problem is she has anger issues. She can do or say anything when she is angry. I started noticing it before we got married. We courted for 1 year.


She would have tantrums at the most trivial things. There was one day she stayed over at my flat. She said she wanted to eat fast food for dinner. Mind you, this was when we were gathering money for our wedding and besides, there was food at home. I jokingly told her it's better we manage what is at home o. My wife's mood immediately changed. She started raising her voice at me. I was shocked. Probably because this was the first time I would refuse her anything. Before you know it she threatened to leave the house at 12 midnight. To go where? Because of fast food? It took the intervention of her father to calm her down. But I was shaken by this experience.


I still went ahead with the marriage because I said to myself no one is perfect. I have my own flaws. I can be temperamental as well, laid back. I had dated several ladies in the past. In all these I have never met anyone as honest and loyal as my wife. In my years of knowing her, she has never lied once. This was really important to me because everyone around me seemed to end up betraying me. She always has my back. And I tried to have hers too. But her anger is a problem.


When she gets into it, she can nag for hours. Of everything I asked God was not to give me a nagging wife. She would nag me at every opportunity, blame me for not being where she supposed to be in life. This is a lady whom i gifted over 1500 dollars so she can start clothing business. When the business couldn't sustain she says she prefers to work. I used my connections to get her a job. Yet she says she would have been better off not knowing me. And regrets marrying me.


We have a baby girl and during the pregnancy, my wife maintains I never did anything for her and that I maltreated her. Mind you when she started her maternity leave I used to leave my office during my break just to go home to switch on the generator for her. I have once roamed the streets at night looking for moin moin because that was her craving. Yet she says I did nothing for her.


The nagging became worse after her delivery. She stops at nothing to make me feel bad. She has once referenced my dead parents saying they didnt train me well. At times I will arrive home.and sit outside in the car because I feel like I'm walking on eggshells when I'm around her. It was during this time I made a grave mistake.


I am not handsome by any means but I find women seek my attention. There was this friend of mine who was going through a divorce and I chose to support him emotionally. He decided to have a party to celebrate his new bachelorhood. Of course I went. And there were women in abundance. Many of them openly wanted my contact in spite of the fact that I was visibly wearing my wedding band.


Did I mention I grew up in a polygamous setting, and after experiencing the hatred in my father's house I vowed never to cheat on my wife. But at this time I was emotionally vulnerable. My wife had just nagged me about something meaningless as usual. And I met this lady there and we exchanged contacts. I started exchanging messages with her and at some point it got erotic. We had scheduled a day and time for us to meet to do the do, but on the scheduled day, I just couldn't do it.


I remembered my father and I asked myself if this was how he started. (my dad died at 50 years from hypertension related issues). I immediately broke things off with the lady. I transferred some money to her for her "inconvenience".


Unfortunately for me, my wife saw the messages I sent her on my phone. Being inexperienced in the art of cheating, I forgot to delete the harmful evidence. That day was the worse day of my life. My wife cried and when I saw what my actions did to her emotionally, I vowed never to try such again. We later reconciled after I begged and cried my eyes out.


The problem now is the nagging and suspicion together is making me a shadow of myself. Everytime we have a disagreement she always refers to the cheating incident. (She assumes I slept with her in spite of the fact that I showed her evidence I didn't). I am afraid that the toxic situation at home will consume us both. During the lockdown, she works from home while I go to work. She has calculated the exact time it takes for me to get home and if I am late, i am met with an angry wife and an unpeaceful home.


This situation is starting to take its toll on me. I have shouted, I have cried. I have talked calmly with her, yet she wont change. And now with my indiscretion, it has only become worse. I know I am a bit soft at heart and I have always found a way to make it work to my advantage until now.

What do i do Stella and bvs? I'm slowly losing it.

*You sound like the woman in the Marriage....The Foundation was wrong from the onset.....

Please Marriage is not by force and this ind of toxic situation should not happen.if the situation does not improve,then i suggest that you both separate for sometime...just pack your bags and go somewhere else but keep the communication lines open and see if healing will take place.