STAND ALONE NARRATIVE....
NOT GETTING ENOUGH
Good day.please there is something on my mind.
When I got married we were into each other s#xually,then we had an issue which made me withdraw and I lost interest s#xually but after a while we got over it.
As the years go by,my hubby is no longer a s#x freak,I am the one always initiating s#x which honestly I am getting tired and agitated.
If we make love within a minute or two he has come.which is now frustrating.i have complained and complained.on very few occasions I get satisfied.and right from time I have always being a s#xually active person.
I even tried using seducing him but he will not even notice which made me get tired.i am just tired,I practically live on porn.
If he goes second round he does not come on time but he has to go work.i on the other had got a job but we were asked to stay at home for now.we have not been paid for two years.i try doing little business and support the home anyway I can.
I know how to manage no matter how small so I know that money should not be an issue.
I am just tired.i don't want to cheat but I am not fantasizing other men.
In the morning recently,we had s#x and he came as usual,I was hungry,last night we were together,I tried touching him and he said he was tired,I tried dusting my s#xual urge off but it would not go away,I started watching a pornography,he acted dumb.
I just told him I am tired of this marriage,this is punishment.
I am in my early thirties and he is not upto 40.i have nagged,had a silent discussion,sent messages.i am Just angry and tired.
During 1 month lockdown,we had s#x thrice which I always initiate,i lost interest the rest months.
I feel like I am losing my mind.
Please post it as soon as you can pls.
I feel like my inside will explode.
If I am watching promography,he will be complaining that if I keep watching it i may cheat on him.
Now I don't even hide watching it cos I don't know if I should die while you are being selfish.
*No you are the selfish one............Look at all the Pressure you are building in your home because of tohtoh and preek matter!!!.....Haba!!!
Good day.please there is something on my mind.
When I got married we were into each other s#xually,then we had an issue which made me withdraw and I lost interest s#xually but after a while we got over it.
As the years go by,my hubby is no longer a s#x freak,I am the one always initiating s#x which honestly I am getting tired and agitated.
If we make love within a minute or two he has come.which is now frustrating.i have complained and complained.on very few occasions I get satisfied.and right from time I have always being a s#xually active person.
I even tried using seducing him but he will not even notice which made me get tired.i am just tired,I practically live on porn.
If he goes second round he does not come on time but he has to go work.i on the other had got a job but we were asked to stay at home for now.we have not been paid for two years.i try doing little business and support the home anyway I can.
I know how to manage no matter how small so I know that money should not be an issue.
I am just tired.i don't want to cheat but I am not fantasizing other men.
In the morning recently,we had s#x and he came as usual,I was hungry,last night we were together,I tried touching him and he said he was tired,I tried dusting my s#xual urge off but it would not go away,I started watching a pornography,he acted dumb.
he does not even know how to read my silence.then he saw me touching myself ,and ignores.after two hours,he was talking to me I did not reply he now came telling me he will do anything trying to touch me.
I just told him I am tired of this marriage,this is punishment.
I am in my early thirties and he is not upto 40.i have nagged,had a silent discussion,sent messages.i am Just angry and tired.
During 1 month lockdown,we had s#x thrice which I always initiate,i lost interest the rest months.
I feel like I am losing my mind.
Please post it as soon as you can pls.
I feel like my inside will explode.
If I am watching promography,he will be complaining that if I keep watching it i may cheat on him.
Now I don't even hide watching it cos I don't know if I should die while you are being selfish.
*No you are the selfish one............Look at all the Pressure you are building in your home because of tohtoh and preek matter!!!.....Haba!!!
Does it matter who initiates it?Do you know if he is going THRU midlife crisis?Men undergo their own kind of menopause as well and it has nothing to do with age...
Is there nothing else that keeps your marriage going that you can appreciate this man for instead of trying to frustrate him with your sexual urge_A h ah it is too much...work with him towards satisfying yourself and stop all these naggings,you are killing your marriage.
If you grow old with this man,you will soon find out that there are other things that can make you have the best Marriage....work with him please!!!
When you see us celebrating couples who married 60 years ago,you think their marriage survived on sex?Growp up in your marriage and learn to handle ish please!!!
And stop using you will cheat,you will cheat to kill him,if you want to cheat,go and cheat and let him hear word.....
Alexa
ReplyDeletePlease Play Speechless by Micheal Jackson
Lol. You really are speechless.
DeleteNa real wa o
DeleteAbeg I no wan laff Choco
DeleteShe won’t. This one pass Alexa
DeleteMadam your hubby doesntnask for sex coz he gets it outside and that's the honest truth. My husband is a sex freak...suddenly he stopped initiating sex. I now do it...but I'm sure it's coz he gets it outside. I'm just patiently waiting to be done with childbirth so I'll start getting it outside too and stop initiating it with him what is good for the goose is also good for gander. Me ma like different soup
DeleteStella, thumbs up for this advise. Poster kilode!! Ha sex, sex everywhere. What happened to I want to learn new things, or make more money. You sound like sex is the only thing that matters in your marriage. Marriage is a beautiful thing young people of these days just makes it sound like some kind of misery.
DeleteIt is obvious you are not communicating with your hubby, you are nagging and very soon what you are looking for you will see, which is nacking outside. May God not let you disgrace yourself because of prick oh! Discuss with your hubby and both of you meet in the middle.
Entanglement loading......
DeleteWhen was the last time you pray for your husband @ poster?
DeleteSex doesn't keep marriage o.
You wan finish him career with overdose legitimate sex?
Study and discover his other side so that he won't start complaining to his friend how you wanna kill him with sex. Lol
Goodluck and pls don't leave him
@ 15.44, after getting it outside, will you be at peace with yourself?
DeleteIt is not every man that isn't sexually active at home that is cheating, some may have a lot going on which kills their libido or sex drive, worry, stress, finance are factors that affect sexual drive.
The way you people carry sex matters on your head as If it is air.
May the Lord help you fix your home and please note cheating is not an option, kill the thought. Take things easy with your DH.
Please don't mind Stella. This is your right in marriage and you deserve to be treated like a woman. Have you tried tigernuts and coconut drink on him? He has started complaining and told you he would do anything, why didn't youyou see that as an opportunity to remedy this situation? Please invest in sex toys and encourage him to see a urologist. Your sex drive is normal, please!
DeletePoster ignore all this people...sex is a very important part of marriage.if tables were turned nko?
DeleteSince he is now willing to do anything, you guys should sit and discuss things through.
Madam your husband has some internal issues high cholesterol, hbp, emotional etc. A friend lost his job for 2yrs all d while pretended to be going for work when he finally got 1 his sex drive with his wife came back she was virtually running from him, sometimes mental, emotional or physical issues makes a man's sex drive drop to almost zero.
DeleteHmmmmmmmmm
DeletePeople commenting wont tell you this, but look, HE Doesnt Find You Attractive or SEXY Anymore.
DeleteMen are turned on by what they see, hence the many hard-ons&bulges in offices, lecture rooms, casting couch, church, cinema etc etc etc. If what he is seeing (YOU) doesnt increase his bulge, then houston we have a problem o! I hope your vjay is still kampe? a woman i know had all her kids by caesarian and her vjay is still tight.
It is more likely that You dont do it for him anymore.
Have an openmind and try bringing in a sexy woman as a help and you will see changes in bedroom. He will 'suddenly' be sexually active with you but his mind is on the babe's body but you will get the sex.
end justifies means I guess (shrugs)
Stella has done justice to the chronicle. Do you ask your husband if something is bothering him ? No, just just want to gbensh, that's all.
ReplyDeleteDon't mind her. Selfish woman
DeletePoster your hubby might be going through a rough time. Be nice in your approach and don't nag. Don't break your home because of sex
DeleteConsider counseling too
This life no balance at all
I wish we can exchange spouses as far as sex is concerned
My husband is always complaining about my low sex drive
Sex to me is a painful experience I only have it because I don't have a choice and my husband is not helping at all
I'm tired mehn
Quick one... How do people kiss early in the morning without brushing or at least rinsing their mouth? I brush before going to bed but I can't kiss without doing the above.. I won't just be comfortable
@anon15:40, tell your husband to suck you for 20 minutes or more, even if you won't enjoy it you will be wet and it won't be painful and you will get satisfaction through the suckling of your ponyor.
DeleteIf the table was reversed, will y'all say this? We will start hearing *don't push him outside *
DeleteOne sided judges
I honestly don't blame the poster,nothing wrong in begging hubby to be sexually active. Different people with different libido. Madam poster get you a dildo
DeleteAnon 15:40 are you married at all? Do you really love this man? Sex is painful ke? Thm go dey help you collect am cos girls oitside love hard sex. Dont sit up oh be der complaining about brushing. Boring u
DeleteI pray you see this reply, have you tried clitoris stimulator or other sex toys, babes its your hubby that will beg you, cos you would be satisfied outside need of a human. Goodluck
DeleteNawa ooooo on top this sex palava? Let me allow d sex therapist Nd gurus handle this one .
ReplyDeleteWouldn't you be worried too if a man you know to be very sexually active with you suddenly loses interest in your body?
DeletePoster likes sex and is probably used to "7 days a week" but please calm down before u get HBP.
There's something stressing him out. Sex begins from th mind remember
The poster has a higher libido than her husband. I don't see why her needs should be brushed aside. Those needs won't disappear, they are legitimate and she is legally a married woman. You people are already chastising her for thinking of going outside, when her husband seems to be ignoring her needs. If the tables were turned the man may have long stepped out, if he is not already. Madam you need the cooperation of your husband to overcome this. At the very least you both have to meet each other half way. Try to find out the root cause of his low sex drive, medically and also go for counseling. Hopefully he will realise it is also his duty to satisfy his wife. Whether you like it or not sex is an important part of marriage.
DeleteAnon 18:28, God bless you for not being biased. You see low sex drive is a turn off for me,I don't do it everyday but once we decide to make love it has to be mind blowing 😉
DeleteHmmmmm I'm really speechless. Like Stella said,he might be going through something, please be patient with him. Try distracting yourself with something: movie, books, your kids, friends etc.
ReplyDeleteTry not to pressure him or push him to his limits.
Madam what is it? All I see is sex sex sex. Please the time you use in watching pornography, use it to help your use of English. As for the lack of intimacy in your marriage, reduce the rate at which you nag.
ReplyDeleteWhy are u guys saying that his trash? She is sexually active and likes sex so what kind of advice are these ?? She has needs how is that hard for u guys ?
DeletePoster get a vibrator. Don't let the judgy comments here get to you. You enjoy sex and there's absolutely wrong with that. Cheating is not the solution.
DeleteNawa o...some that is legally married and entitled to get knacks from her husband is now a problem again..you people should be reasonable with your advice
DeleteNa wah ooo. All this is because of sex. Ahhh. Let me read comments.
ReplyDeletePoster you don't have a problem walahi! Since this lockdown, na money me and hubby dey find and not sex sex sex.Abeg control the urge,when a man is somehow broke,sex is always the last thing on his mind.Please don't masturbate to death you hear??
DeleteChai Stella O ti binu oh...Poster please just take it easy abeg
ReplyDeleteInstead of asking us for help just tell us you want to fuck outside your marriage because why and how does it matters who initiated sex that it has become an issue in your marriage,pls free this man and do what you wanted to do
ReplyDeleteI think id pass upon this one. For people like me who see sex as only 20% of a relationship, I am the wrong person. Cos id side with Stella cos all I see is sex sex sex and I can't understand your frustration at all.
DeleteThis society is funny. Why do people feel that women should not have needs, or if they do, those needs should be suppressed? Really we live in a society of double standards. A man would be hailed for having high libido and even encouraged to sample different women.
DeleteNa so. Society said marriage is the only place you should do all the sexual entanglements. You wait and marry to vent all the energy you saved. The same society will now call you bad for wanting what taught you was right. Dear poster, take a deep breath and have a conversation with your husband. Not complain session o. Try using communication that clearly says what you need and how he can help. Again, don't demand. Your feelings are valid, but so are his. You guys may need to compromise or accommodate. The thing is some women get a higher libido as they get older and it falls for some men. Also, talk about your expectations. Most times, conflict is the result of unmet expectations. In my experience, very few couples discuss and have clear expectations for their relationships. This breakdown is an example. Some married think crazy sex is for girlfriends not wives, just as some women think it's only with husbands. Again, have and share clear expectations
DeleteMaybe he's going through mental stress or he doesn't fancy you anymore or your constant urge and porn has turned him off totally. Anyway since talking is not working and your toto has a mind of it's own, go and scratch it. The thing is, if na fuck be your problem, you will still get tired of it las las.
ReplyDelete😃😗Gbam
DeleteNagging for sex is a major turn off. Nagging partners who watch porn are even more of a turn off. Sex is great but under these conditions, the desire for sex in marriage is dead.
DeleteThen what do you expect her to do? Ya'll are highlighting the problem without giving any solution. She is here seeking a way out. She is actually suffering in her marriage if you don't know. It is not all about money. A man who loves you should want to satisfy your sexual needs too.
DeleteAnon...what is d solution? Why not give her if u have one? Her husband is not nudging, what do you want her to do? Rape him? Make she go fuck outside if she cannot adapt. Namsense.
DeleteBlackberry is that your solution that she should rape her husband? You try. I have already suggested a solution to her. But I noticed that most people here are accusing the poster as if she doesn't have a right to feel sexual as a human being, and a married woman at that. That is what I was emphasising on, so calm dan.
DeleteYou nailed it Stella!!!
ReplyDeleteMadam manage the small one you're getting from him,attack the problem not your husband so you won't cause more damage,that issue you made mention of in the first paragraph need to be attended to,so men don't do well down there when their pocket is sick.
ReplyDeleteRe-vist why you chose to be with him,is it because of sex only? consider other parts you didn't talk about as you seek solution to the problem
You need to take things easy and try to find out about what is going on with your man.
ReplyDeletemy mouth are wild open
ReplyDeleteAbeg how many mouth you get?
DeleteMy mouth is wide open
DeleteAbi you get more than one?
🤣🤣🤣
Buhahahaha
DeleteNow this is hilarious 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😂😂😂😂😂
Woman, thou art loosed from that foul spirit of pornography and sexual immorality in Jesus Christ name!
ReplyDeleteHow could you watch people debasing themselves, polluting your soul and spirit❓❗
Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life.
Give your life to Christ and study the word of God to renew your mind.
You need to work with your husband to discuss how to meet your sexual needs. Besides, marriage is not all about sex.
Read more about virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 and get busy doing other worthwhile things.
Your first line made me laugh .
DeletePoster please be in the comment section.
It's very important please .
Anon 15.15 fyi your boyfriend or husband watches porn
Deleteam coming back to read more comments
ReplyDeleteWhen he said “I will do anything” why did t you let him touch you or give you oral? Penetration is not everything in marriage. It get boring. You have to change style to keep the fire burning. Your nagging is killing his libido so take it easy.
ReplyDeleteThere is more to life than sex.
Keep eating porn you hear? Selfish woman
Hmmm. That's why they say it's good to marry someone that is not only your lover, but your friend. Relationships/marriages should not be based on sex alone. Madam Poster, it can be frustrating, but please, do not allow your marriage crash because of lack of sex. Keep talking to him, tell him how you feel, and stop watching porn.
ReplyDeleteStella I don’t agree with u o. This is how my husband was doing With me thinking it was a mid life crises and next thing I found he had a new girlfriend that he had been servicing steadily for years outside. I beg both of them should come to a compromise but to term her selfish I no gree.
ReplyDeleteAnon 15:17 you are the only one that said what was in my mind. Other bvs did not check to see how long this woman has been enduring and talking to her husband. If it were a man complaining of this now, the next thing would be to cheat. In as much as sex is not everything in marriage, it also plays a big role. A married couple are friends and partners for Christ sakes! No spouse should purposely deny his/her partner sex please unless. Bikonu, how long will this poster's husband give excuses like "mid life crisis" as you all would choose to call it? Mid life crisis my foot!!!
DeleteI also do not believe she is selfish. She is saying what her problem is. Her husband should at least meet her half way. Sleeping with another person while remaining in the marriage, I won't encourage. If you are done, then by all means. If you are staying, you guys should come to an understanding. You are not selfish. You have needs that's all.
DeleteYou have said it all stella
ReplyDeleteWhat if he is going through stuff and the last on his mind is sex
Lol
DeleteWhile I agree with Stella, we don't know how long she has been enduring this.
True there's more to marriage than sex. But to most, at the posters age bracket it is an issue.
But here,the issue is not necessarily the sex but her satisfaction in the act itself. So, since she does take most of the initiates. She could control the fun. Most ladies climax from spooning, she could try it out. By controlling 'the moment' the husband should penetrate her. Or she could be ride, by positioning herself (depending on the shape of her husband's dick) in the opposing direction of motion.
Manage his meals well. Talk more about issues on his mind. And into sexual talks. With reflections of some of your good moments.
Let him take his multivitamins and try early morning sex. And see if there's an improvement.
God bless your union.
Poster, sorry ehn 🤗 but you know going to work and coming back home everyday isn't funny.. The stress might be affecting him, try to have empathy,be considerate and try to find out what's going on with him really. And I didn't even see where you tried doing something about the whole thing, you are just in a spot always waiting to nag and nag (don't you see that there has been no changes despite your nagging ni? Think about it and apply a better approach) .
ReplyDeleteMy advice is for you to find out calmly what the issues is for real and actually be very patient till it is solved. I think that will create a different and new atmosphere to spice up your marriage.
If part of the solution requires home remedies.. Coman talk to me later 🤣😁😎
Stella, I'm rolling on the floor @ "..look at all the Pressure you are building in your home because of tohtoh and preek matter!!!."
ReplyDeleteMadame poster, is sex food? Ah ah, wetin? The porn you are watching is contributing to your problem. Get a grip of yourself, jess.
Chai stella you gave her wella,marriage is not all about sex,although it's very important.In as much as your libido is higher than his, you have to throw away shame n keep asking.
ReplyDeleteHaba, lacious take it easy na,poster is trying to vent,maybe that's make her feel better, poster be easy on yourself n maybe get busy,he will come around.
ReplyDeleteAhhhh! Madam eeeh....abeg rest nau,wetin be this?.Must you knack all day? Yes your libido is high but no be wetin you go bring for table all the time,abeg go for deliverance because e don pass becareful..Engage yourself with things that will help your marriage no be fork abeg and be spiritually n physically commited to God the creator of marriage,your husband needs a break!!!That's not a ground for you to cheat then break your home.There are other things that makes a home sweet,find them and apply them and be happy.all the best
ReplyDeleteMadam, you are the textbook definition of a messed up sex-life.
ReplyDeleteWow!😮😮😮
"he does not even know how to read my silence."
"I watch pornography and touch myself...I have been sexually active for long"
"I have nagged..."
"I am tired of this marriage..."
Your husband should go back to school to get a degree on how to read your silence?
Are you kidding me?
Do you ladies actually understand what marriage is?
You seem to love sex -however and wherever it comes from, more than your husband and life?
If you continue on this trajectory, adultery is a matter of when, not if.
You need salvation in Christ and self-discipline through fasting and the Word of God to rein in your raging and vindictive self.
May you find the peace that can only come from Christ. 🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️
When I am silent my husband knows he has just messed up🤷♂️ Something is definitely off
DeleteLooks like a lot of women get into marriage these days for just
ReplyDelete1. sex
2. Money
Even reading this chronicle, that's all that matters to this woman.
What? Please, marriage was intended by God for companionship and not to be reduced to just sex and money.
😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮
Anon 15.23 be ther oh, aunty companionship. Dem dey fuck your man hard outside and chop im money neat, you dey talk about companionship
DeleteCompan....what? Biko what does companionship mean? Sit down One woman is giving him sex n eating his money
DeleteDear poster, please try and sit him down and have a heart to heart talk with him. He might be going through a lot especially the financial aspect. You know when some men are broke, their sex drive will reduce drastically. You guys should both talk about it, communication matters a lot. There's no way two people can be perfectly compatible sexually and only u know what you are going through. All the best poster
ReplyDeleteYour husband should better run to the desert or rooftop and live than with
ReplyDeletethis your constant nagging and freaking out! 🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨
Seems like he’s going through a lot of stress that’s affecting his sexuality. Try communicating with him maybe he will open up or suggest to him to see a sex therapist. It’s not everything you face that you now suggest divorce. Sometimes when things gets broken, you fix it & not just throw it away. I wish you a nakupenda filled marriage.
ReplyDeleteStella, nice response. I taya for some women, you want to get the same level of vibe from day one of your marriage till the last day? Its not possible. There're off days in marriage and there're times when the reverse becomes the case. There's nothing wrong if you initiate sex, and you watching porn right in his presence is very wrong. can't you do your thing on code and avoid creating unnecessary drama in your home? I have never had an orgasm with my hubby of 8years, but if we dey nack for hear, when I go begin scream, you go think say I don reach heaven come back. After Oga don sleep, I masturbate and come my come jeje… Everybody is happy!
ReplyDeleteAnd I say shame on you.everyone can't be terrible pretender like you.keep managing your fustrated sexual life,don't drag another woman into it.infsct go seek for help.u have a man and u are masturbating.tueh! This poster that vented her fustration is better than u
DeleteAnon 15:26,your comment is so funny, but don't you think being truthful and then teaching him to do what you want is better. I use to manage things before until I shamelessly taught my husband what I needed done. That day, I held him tight,almost squeezing life out of him as i screamed, shivered and giggled. Since then,he makes sure I have an orgasm.He loves it too. Sometimes we hit it off together.Let your husband know what you want. It'll be better.
DeleteKeep pretending. Not everybody can pretend.
DeleteWell done!! You r not only killing your sexuality but your self esteem. A woman’s body is her pride, it must be pampered, loved and taken care of. A wife who doesn’t have and enjoys sex with her husband is opening herself to serious temptations. They would yearn to be adored and would shiver any man who dares show respect to that body their husband refuses to touch. However, it’s only one that loves her husband that would want to always give herself and be worried he isn’t touching her. Why is sex referred to as intimacy have you ever wondered? If you know, you know! I am not ashamed to ask for sex,it’s my right! And I will ask because I cannot share my moans and scream with anybody but my husband.
DeleteWomen and issues...right from the days of creation...I think men are better off without taking women issues at heart..the happiest men are men that really don't care about the women in their life ..go find out for yourself.
ReplyDeleteBack to the matter, babe Dont stress it ...find a fuck boy and fuck codedly..sex is good you all be pretending like you don't want it .good sex plays a good role in the body of alady especially when 30 plus.
@15:34
DeleteFornication and adultery you mean?
And STIs/Hiv/AIDS/transferred devils
Always write clearly. 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢
SMH.
DeleteStella you wow me with your mindset,you are soooo wise,am so impressed with the advice you dished up there 👍.dear poster please follow that advise, there is somuch wisdom in it.
ReplyDeleteHehe....eleyi gidi gan o 😳.. I don't even know what to say... Just be patient... Time solves all things
ReplyDeleteI understand your frustration because i used to be in your shoes. i was very active while my husband does not give a damn about sex. i initiate anytime i want it but with time, my libido just went down the drain because i consciously worked on it. He is a very good man and i decided to choose him over sex.
ReplyDeleteIf you have a good man, don't loose him because of sex. My husband has been at home since March while i go to work. We have had sex just 4 times since March.
what keeps us going is more of company.
remember your sex drive will naturally take a plunge with age and responsibilities. Occupy your mind with other things. Remember, an idle mind is the devil's workshop.
🤷🤷🤷🤷, Dis one is strong. Madam I can see u have high libido. Have a one one with him to know Wat bothers him.
ReplyDeleteLooks like for a lot of ladies, they think that life revolves around that hole called vagina!
ReplyDeleteThis is the adverse effect (in a marriage) of being "sexually active for a long time."
Hope the fornication machines are reading and assimilating every lesson from this chronicle?
🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤
It’s really does!! That is why men have side chicks, marry second wives or maybe third or even sleep with harlots... the pussy bomb
DeleteThis is why you have to watch who you ask for advice. Some people are existing in sexless and unhappy marriages, what else will they tell you? Poster, your sexual needs are valid but you are making some mistakes in the way you are going about it. More communication, patience and lots of non-sexual love contact is what you need. You can give him a shoulder massage whole watching TV, give him a pedicure, surprise him with pepper snails while he's watching football and just hang out and watch with him. Dress very sexy and try to turn him on. Enjoy yourselves. If the s*x is too short, buy a vibrator and let him use it on you till you c*m then you can have sex and he has his own org*sm. However you get your pleasure, let it include him. You can even ask him to watch you use your toy. Wine, chocolate, nice music. Massage work stress out of his body, encourage him, kiss him with no other sexual contact, etc. Reduce pressure to have sex but when you guys do, make sure you have your org*sm so he gets used to pleasing you. It may even be once a month but make sure it's a banger! If this is the only issue you guys have then your marriage is going well. Communicate communicate communicate!
ReplyDeleteWish you both luck.
Busybee has saved me some typing time. Please poster, your sexual needs are valid. If it was a man that complained now, they will all rush out and tell her you must not starve your husband, do you want to loose him, sex is food to men yenyenyen... You deserve to be sexually satisfied by your husband, it is your right.
DeleteTry busy bee's suggestions and see how it goes.
Thank you. That's what I am going through with my husband now. It was ok for him to ignore me when I give cues. I t has now affected my libido such that, the interest is hardly there for me anymore. He's now getting bothered that I don't miss it. Lol. Unfortunately, I am used to it now. He felt he was punishing me. Now if anything happens,they will say I pushed him out.
DeleteSex 3times in 4months is too small and the poster shouldn't be ashamed of her appetite. I will only advise that the porn be eliminated because of the negative impact of addiction to porn. Wish her the best.
Please go with busy bee's advice.
Delete👍
DeletePoster your feelings are valid.
The only problem is that you aren’t communicating well with your husband. Find out what’s going on with him, if he’s going through a tough time. Be there for him.
Again I think You have many free time on your hands that’s why you have time to watch porn. Can’t you see the devil is doing something inside you already? Your husband clearly dsnt like you watching porn yet you are still watching it and somehow expecting him to still be intimate with you. Aren’t you disobeying your husband? Do you sincerely feel he’s happy with you? How do you expect him to take your complaints serious when he’s caught you watching porn as a sign of protest? Or you think it’s only your husband that needs to change? If you were in his shoes, would you want to be intimate with him after you catch him watching porn.
Be guided lady. This isn’t supposed to be a big issue, but with the way you are going about it....
Poster it's possible your husband is going through something that's its bothering him and its also possible he has low sex drive. I think you should be patient with him and try to understand his condition. Also pray for peace in your home. Cheating will not resolve the issue
DeleteGbosa for una and awon team jugdina well done.if it were to be a man, OMo we will not hear word. You have every right legally, morally and religious Wise sef. Please do away with pornography it destroys. May Lord protect your union
DeleteYour libido na helele. Get you a dildo!
ReplyDeletemadam you are putting too much pressure on the poor man and that alone can cause a an not to have sexual feelings for a woman. I guess you are jobless, you are not a busy woman because if you are the request for sex will reduce.
ReplyDeleteCan't you think of better ways to help this man by not constantly reminding him you will cheat on him. Men do not like pressure and nagging or complaining. Get a dildo to help your ministry and free the poor man to continue hustling.
Nawaooo,if your sexual urge is too high,abeg divorce and remarry a sex maniac. Sex sex sex,wetin?? You better take it easy before you kill your husb with sex matter,the man might be going through alot,or even broke,the country is hard,na sex be ur problem.nawa
ReplyDeleteYou can't call her a maniac. She only has a healthy appetite and is not manic. If it were a woman that wasn't satisfying her man, is that the same thing you will say to him? We women are our problem. Honestly.
DeleteEven you sef..are you having sex 3times in a month?? Or you just must talk?
DeleteSex that I'm running away from, get a dildo
ReplyDeleteOn top tohtoh and preek matter, haba! Stella be nice nau. Let me continue reading the comments
ReplyDeleteMitchewwwww 🙄🙄🙄.....
ReplyDeleteNa who see preek nain fuck dey hungry am to fuck. People are out there suffering from one problem to the order and this one is here looking for sexual satisfaction and attention🙄🙄🙄
Better go and work on yourself spiritually before you will end up ruining your marriage because of sex.
You don't have anything meaningful to bring to the table na just fuck fuck🤦🤦🤦
Kai walai madam you need help
Better go and
Madam don't you think you should change strategy? Stop begging, nagging and whatever. Try to build friendship again. Make him too you again,chat,texts,take outs etc and let the momentum build up. And while at it,stop watching porn as it's obviously not helping. Just try to enjoy his company and friendship. It's probably cos you have more time on your hands to be thinking sex while he on the other hand has so much to think about.
ReplyDeletePray about it too
Stella' what do you mean? In marriage sex is food. Sex is what spices up one's marriage. If it were a man who wrote this chronicles, we would advise the woman to read up on books and learn how to hang leg like monkey so that he doesn't go outside but because it's a woman, we are now saying she shouldn't pressure the man.
ReplyDeleteWhy would she be denied her marital right?
Clearly, the husband knew of his wife's sexual overdrive before getting married to her so why isn't he obliging her. If there's a problem, he should speak to her and together they find a solution.
I'm sure the wife would be understanding towards that rather than leaving her high and dry.
Madam if he continues to deny you sex then you need to involve a third party who would be able to help out before body go carry you sleep with maiguard.
Marriage wey person suppose get unlimited sex na where one dey go on dry fast.
“ Sex is what spices up one's marriage. If it were a man who wrote this chronicles, we would advise the woman to read up on books and learn how to hang leg like monkey so that he doesn't go outside but because it's a woman, we are now saying she shouldn't pressure the man.
DeleteWhy would she be denied her marital right?”
You’re 💯 right. The double standard is pathetic to say the least.
I totally agree anon. The poster has a valid point.
DeleteIs 3 times a month now standard? Poster doesnt even have overdrive...dont mind all this double mouthed people.
DeleteVery irritating story pls.only you watch porn,touch yourself,you want to explode.tufiakwa,I hope you wash your hand after touching yourself,nonsense.if you want to cheat pls do already and leave the poor man alone since you lack self control.i wonder how you cant control your urge,you'll be letting irrelevant things control you.in your husband's presence you watch porn and touch yourself, biko what kind of impression are you passing to him?no respect for your self and him.thats how you people will be inviting the devil into your home. Nauseating story.mtchewwwwwwwwww.i even wonder the kind of mum you'll be
ReplyDeleteVery irritating!
DeletePorn? Touch yourself? Because of sex? Nonsense! Bet you'll sleep with any man around you then. Shioor!
Couples shouldn't build their marriage of sex! I mean don't you get tired of it? If I have my way no more sex sef!!! With all that's going on, sex is what's paramount to you? You need a therapist. Go out there and WORK!
Madam poster, your husband might be going through a lot of things that you are not aware of, try and be more friendly with him and understand him better. Remember sex drive go down with age.
ReplyDeleteFunny. If it was the other way round, you all would be advising the woman to become sexy and do all things so the man doesn't look outside.
ReplyDeletePoster, STOP WATCHING PORN!!!! That is what is adding to your problem. Porn is destructive. It makes you see others as mere sexual objects for your enjoyment. You no longer think of the other person but yourself. It makes you dwell on sexual thoughts all the time. It's the first step towards adultery because trust me, if the opportunity presents itself, you'll cheat on your husband so STOP IT NOW.
ReplyDeleteAlso, get closer to God to help you regain your spiritual balance. Then, reach out to your husband to know the way forward. It could be he's going through some health challenges. It could also be that he's cheating. But get rid of the porn, please!!!
Thank you o! Porn is like a third party in relationships but people will call you all sorts when you bring this up. Get rid of the porn.
DeleteExactly
DeleteThank you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DeletePoster your sexual needs are valid. Nobody should vilify her. Obviously you are both not on the same page now sexually. You can have a heart to heart talk with him. Maybe the conversation will help you know if he's having difficulty work wise, emotional stress or just a crisis. At least you would know. You wanting to explode is just the sexual hunger not being met. Take deep breaths. You can suggest to him if he can see a sex therapist too. Plz reign your desires in so you don't start thinking of other men. I hope you both find a solution. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteHusband definately getting his freak on outside. I'l suggest you do the same. My 2 cents.
ReplyDeleteMany people are advising as if her sexual urge is a crime,there is nothing wrong to desire a good sexual pleasure with husband and it can really be frustrating if you are not enjoying your sexual life with your husband.
ReplyDeleteIf the poster is a man are we still going to tell him the same things. Please too much of porn can give you distorted views on sex. Get a sex toy if you can and please be patient with him. This period is quite challenging for many.
He might not necessarily be getting it outside.Yall don’t know that sex is psychological sha.Its in the brain,so if the brain is not stimulated,the prick can’t be.Why don’t you ask him what’s wrong?he might be suffering from something entirely different with no one to share it with.use the same energy you’re using to ask for preek to ask him what he is going through.
ReplyDeletemadam,u are selfish,,sex is not evwrything cuz from ur narrative up there,sex is the only issue why u are not interested in ur marriage.
ReplyDeleteits a sorry case for you and if uou have had a friend or still attempting to have one who will be telling you how to play ur games then u will regret ur actions.
am outta here
Sweetheart, a lot of men are not as perceptive as you would think. Instead of sulking and testing your man's telepathic abilities, why not tell him exactly what you want and exactly how you feel? You stated that something happened that caused a drift but you guys got over it, are you sure he got over it as well? Just because you got over it and he said he's over it, doesn't mean he really is over it, whatever "it" may be. It doesn't matter if he were the offender, for this to work both of you must heal completely at your own individual time.
ReplyDeleteWhy not put sex at the back burner and work on intimacy? Date your hubby all over again. Spend quality with him, if time permits. Let him feel relaxed and not pressured to deliver mind-altering sexual romps all the time. Good sex is your right, as a married woman but when he can't deliver, do all you can to encourage him and don't make him feel judged. The more you make him feel he isn't good enough, the less eager he will be to even try. Some of the most passionate love making sessions happen when couples are goofing around and enjoying each other's company.
Watching porn while pleasuring yourself can be counterproductive to your already problematic sex life. It's not like it's working out for you because if it were, we wouldn't be reading this. If you get used to pleasuring yourself, you may never get sexually satisfied by your hubby even if he becomes a sex machine because your mind has been rewired by pornography to reach orgasm by a different type of stimulation. The more you watch, the more you will need more extreme pornographic content to get satisfied. Before you know it, you would start watching images depicting real depravity because the usual "vanilla" stuff wouldn't get your juices flowing anymore. Like drug addicts crave higher dosages with time, so would you. Darling, that's one slippery slope you don't want to find yourself on.
As for cheating on your hubby, does it mean you're so horny that it doesn't matter who scratches the itch? What if the first guy you have sex with turns out to be worse than your hubby, would you give it up to man number 2? Honey, can't you see how ridiculous this is? I want to believe you're talking out of sexual frustration. Sex is important in a healthy marriage but so is friendship. Build a friendship with your hubby. Do exciting things with him. Make him feel wanted out of desire and not just for sexual gratification. Both of you can spend time cuddling and reminiscing about the fun times. Intimacy is more that sex and the number of rounds you desire. When all fails, try tenderness. More honey, less vinegar.
e-hugs and kisses.
It obvious the poster is idle.. Of a truth if u are a working mum, you won't even remember sex.Fatigue will even reduce your libido..Get busy with life and your family..On the other hand,a spouse is not expected to deny his/her partner sex except on mutual consent, it is biblical.. Porn is from the pit of hell..
ReplyDeleteMadam I wouldn't blame you for being worried. Your hubby already knows how much you like sex, for him to change suddenly, it means either he's getting it outside or he is passing through trying times which you should know as his wife. Pls calm down, talk it out with him and also pray for him, I believe all will be well
ReplyDeletePoster Stella has said it all. Men go through menopause as well. My husband used to be sexually active,but he withdrew at a certain point. I used to initiate,but nothing happened. I never nagged. It didn't even cross my mind that he was getting it somewhere. I kept my cool. It was when he travelled and came back that I discovered that it wasn't his fault. Is over six years and we are cool. I know he feels bad about it, but I am always telling him how I love him ,sex or no sex in order not kill his self esteem. Enough of this pls
ReplyDeletePoster, your concerns are valid. Please do not allow these suffer head women on here to tell you otherwise. You are married and thereby entitled to sex. First, check if your husband is not getting this sex outside or through phone sex with a girl. Then ask if there is anything bothering him. I'm a woman and I hate sex, but I try as much as possible to satisfy my husband who loves sex. If your husband loves you, he should listen to your needs which include sex.
ReplyDeleteI thought I am the only one that hates sex
DeletePoster your husband is cheating on you.
ReplyDeleteThe way you people assume things ehn
DeleteGosh
I wonder how you came to this your conclusion
Maybe you're all seeing
He is!! And he isn’t interested in the boring you!
DeleteNne your concern is valid.Have a heart to heart talk with your husband to know the cause of the problem.All the best dear
ReplyDeleteIf these chronicle was posted by a guy& he complained about his wife low sex drive, all these advices would have been different as everybody will be telling the woman how she will push him into the arms of another woman..
ReplyDeleteLol, now they are making the woman feel bad for being human& having sexual needs and we wonder why many women have children that doesn't belong to their husbands?..
Body no be firewood people and I can 💯 bet my assets that her husband is getting the sex from somewhere else!!
Eku joko oh!!
Talk to him.font mind this people.yes she wants sex everyday and there nothing wrong with it.please don't allow them make you feel bad.talk to him and hear what he has to say
ReplyDeleteEverything is not sex in marriage.
DeleteWe must learn to be considerate and stop focusing on only our needs. Husband goes to work everyday, roughs it out in traffic both morning and evening, faces work stress while you are at home. Biko forget sex talk and ask him about his day at work, what he did etc, let him rest. Don't let it always be about you or your needs
Nobody has ever died from not having sex every day.
So there are people who have sex everyday with exception to newly weds? Wow.
For those saying if it was the other way round, my advise will remain the same and I won't spare the man.
The point remains take it easy with him as long as you know he is a good man and he is not cheating. Just chill out on the pressure and make the atmosphere more conducive.
Madam don't make sex a yastic for happiness in your marriage
ReplyDeleteIf it isn’t why is adultery even a sin.
DeletePoster dear, if he isnt giving you, get naked and suck his dick till he comes, suck again till he comes again. I guarantee you he'd drive hime woth both hands and his dick to fuck you everynight amd morning cos of that.
ReplyDeleteThnk me later
No be small wah for this woman o
ReplyDeleteNo be small wah for this woman o
ReplyDeleteI thought to myself that I was nagging too much when I really wanted to have sex...... but then like everybody advised sex was not important so I let it slide and decided to just enjoy the marriage until I found out my husband goes in and out hotels sleeping with harlots, with bar girls, with his colleagues pretty friends and any lady that wants some of his money and all the while I thought it was midlife crisis.... do some snooping. Because of our instinct, we usually know there is more to their behavior. There usually is.
ReplyDeletePoster sit him down and have a heart to heart talk, don't talk about sexual issues alone also talk about other aspects your marriage is having a leak from. So help you God.
ReplyDeleteHave a similar story. My wife too is not sex addictive, always be the one asking and any attempt to turn down the request may be hotter than fire. We have fought severally toward it up to the point that she revealed i can marry another wife if i wish since am Muslim coz she will never leave her husband for any woman. just try to understand your husband and choose your decision wisely.
ReplyDeleteMadam,your worries are valid abeg,try another method from the comment section to know if it will get better .
ReplyDeleteGoodluck!