STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
HUSBAND WAHALA
Stella nwaioma is me again, I wrote a Chronicle some two years ago about my husband's gambling habit and how my late father did the same.... my husband's business backed up last year, I also wrote you how I was offered a federal government job at the east and you advised me to take the job and to the glory of God I did and I'm very thankful I listened to you and that of bv's
To the issue at hand I was pregnant when hubby started gambling now my baby is one year and one month old, could you believed that ever since we found out that I was pregnant my husband never touched me during my pregnancy, well that I can understand because I had a miscarriage the first time I took in so he decided never to touch when I took in again but after the birth of my baby my husband never touched me.
Stella nwaioma is me again, I wrote a Chronicle some two years ago about my husband's gambling habit and how my late father did the same.... my husband's business backed up last year, I also wrote you how I was offered a federal government job at the east and you advised me to take the job and to the glory of God I did and I'm very thankful I listened to you and that of bv's
To the issue at hand I was pregnant when hubby started gambling now my baby is one year and one month old, could you believed that ever since we found out that I was pregnant my husband never touched me during my pregnancy, well that I can understand because I had a miscarriage the first time I took in so he decided never to touch when I took in again but after the birth of my baby my husband never touched me.
When I got the job I relocated to east but still visit at any opportunity I get still he never touched me, before the pandemic he asked me to look for a house so he can send me our property down here because he wanted to live the country, the plan was for him to bring the properties stay with us for a little while then travel but he changed his mind and sends it to me because his passport wasn't ready, I moved in to our new house since February up until now my husband hasn't visited:
he wasn't even present for his daughter's first birthday, that I can understand because of the lockdown but people are traveling for God's sake why can't he come and see his child, it's been 7 months since I last saw him and one year ten months since we have been Intimate, I asked him where he is, he said he's staying with a friend as I write to you I don't know where my husband is...
please how do I go about this because I'm tried of asking him to come back here so we can know the next plan on how to get his business running again, and less I forget last year December we tried doing the do his p#nis entered inside and fell like a cloth... please I need advice. Thanks.
*Maybe he is running away from you cos his financial status has given him erectile dysfunction......leave him alone and stop pressuring him to return,maybe he will return when he feels less pressured and has regained his manhood.
*Maybe he is running away from you cos his financial status has given him erectile dysfunction......leave him alone and stop pressuring him to return,maybe he will return when he feels less pressured and has regained his manhood.
Take it easy abeg!!!!
The major thing I can deduce from this write-up is that you miss gbenshing
ReplyDelete😎😎😎
DeleteFar from only gbenshing Richie , this man's character is questionable. Just like stella said, he's running because of lack of money gave him erectile dysfunction or he's up to something. Who does that. Even the baby ,he has not seen, Mbanu
DeleteOf which it is her right to collect from her hubby.
DeleteI feel when you relocated, that has made your husband remember what it feels like to be alone ( live like a bachelor).
DeleteHim not touching you for that long. could means so many things but he cant say he hasn’t been having sex abeg.
He has passed a message by Sending all the properties and not coming afterwards, not even coming to see his child. This man doesn’t care, he has stylishly dumped all the responsibilities on you since you work.
If you guys are like this while he is in Nigeria, I wonder worse it will be when he’s away. Sis, tie your belt well and take care of your child, this man don use scope japa.
Your husband is obviously running away from something. Maybe he has some sexual issue. If he cant come down. Try persuade him! That you want to visit him.
DeleteHey PIDGIN Writer aka MAMA BLOG!
I saw your message this morning asking after about me. Am fine mami. Work taking my time and Netflix too😅😅. It feels good to know people on this blog care about me huh. Thanks alot 👌🙏
Nice family.
Anon15:42 you are right.
DeleteThe man is enjoying living alone. Besides,does his financial troubles warrant him not seeing his innocent child?
With everything happening in this country and the way he's treating you,na gbenshing be your problem 🥺🥺🥺
DeleteWhy won't she need the gbenshing? Maybe he's staying with a woman period.
DeleteFocus on your relationship with God, raise her wella, look good and love yourself. One day he will come back to his senses, and when he does, make Una do test before him touch you. Forget trust o, na man him be.
Hey, listen up! Gamblers are GREEDY people! They never feel satisfied or happy till they hit the money that pushed them into gambling. Even when they hit it, the joy doesn't last and they are back to being moody because they will send back 3/5th or more of what they made to gambling.
DeleteYou cannever get the happiness you are seeking for from this man until you start radiating happiness yourself! I know it's not easy, but since he has chosen to act like you don't exist, ACT like he doesn't exist too!
The only time you remember this man is PRAYER time. Tell God your wishes and lock up.
The bible said you should protect your heart with all diligence. Don't let him destroy your peace. After 2yrs and he still doesn't show up, file for divorce on grounds of desertion and move on.
All the best!
Whatever you do pls dont get pregnant again.....cos dis one ur saying he has touched u up and down.
DeleteThat marriage may be over and he doesnt know how to tell u;adding another child u will be a single mum to is an error at dis point.
Does the friend not have a name? Are u sure hes not living with a woman? By all indications it looks that way.
Put it at d back of ur mind dat marriage might be over; if he does visit pls use protection
Have a heart to heart with him; if he doesnt still own up u may need to leave ur baby with family,come down and find out his location and what hes up to.
I know of a man dat was behaving this way...always evasive with his wife they were also living in diff states cos of work.
Till someone sent his wife wedding pics with him and another lady on facebook. He only married d wife traditionally; he went to court with dis new one. And he had a daugher with his wife n couldnt face her to say he doesnt want the marriage again. His family was even present in d court marriage he did.
Or it may be ur husband is just tired of life because of d financial issues he has and coming home to you without shi shi is embarrasing to him.
One year and ten months. hmm. I don't want to directly tell you what to do but please think long and hard over this issue. How many happy and healthy years are we guaranteed in this life? Your needs matter, your needs are valid, you shouldn't be ashamed for wanting sex and intimacy. So many mysteries in this life that are behind circumstances that we find ourselves in but the one thing you can control is the steps to happiness that you take. Take steps to live a happy life and provide the child that God blessed you with. Shikena
DeleteMadam,on no account should you lend him money. Ekwuchagom
DeletePoster, listen to anon 17:05.
DeleteYou are married to yourself.
Gamblers are very very selfish and shouldn't put another person in danger in the name of marriage.
If you add another child to your life that makes you a single mother of 2 and you know nau!!!
You will be part of widows collecting donations and cash from charitable citizens.
Think with your brain and heart.
Use your head and stop talking "touch touch* up and down. That's how they share std and hiv aids to you wives that can't insist on health checkup after months of separation in marriage.
@STELLA,🤣🤣🤣 response is the bomb. He might have erectile dysfunction from financial disability. 🤣🤣🏋️Maddd oooo
Enter your reply...I swear
DeleteMadam, your husband has someone he's sleeping with. He definitely is cheating on you.
DeleteMadam your husband has stylishly freed himself of you, he has given you the go-ahead to be the man in the house
DeleteWhen you took the job in the east did he support you?
Did you speak to him about your need for or increased ”jamming”?
Have you reached out to his close friend or family about this new altitude you sense in him
It might be nothing and it might be everything
I conclude that he is enjoying his life somewhere when you see him is when you see him
Consult his family to know what's up, maybe he is tired of the marriage even. Please take it easy for your baby's sake.
ReplyDeleteThe man should come out and say that already. Inukwa
DeletePoster, you no longer have a husband. Oga Don separate from you. What of your inlaws? Don't you relate with them?
DeleteYou wrote as if you married city husband without family backing.
Madam also update both families in case of invasion o
DeleteHehehe i am coming back to comment
ReplyDeleteHmm Jehovah Take control
ReplyDeleteHey Phoenix am good..thanks for asking.
DeleteThanks👌
You are welcome
DeleteYou husband is very childish. He wouldn't touch you until the day you resign from your job. He's probably one of those men who fear women in authority and his d*** will not stand at attention for you because each time he sees you his ego is brutalized
ReplyDeleteHian, how did you know all these? Is it from the limited information posted? Pray that someone will not give a negative advise on your matter based on assumptions
DeleteWhich kind man child be this sef?
DeleteMtcheeeewww
From one tantrum to another. Han han! Madam, try know the real issue and please do you. He must want same thing with you- that is , to save the marriage.
Only you can't be running from pillar to post year in and out. Involve both family sides to find a solution, Biko.
I can not deal.
😃😂😃
DeleteSo the husband told you he's not gonna touch the woman till she resigned ?
DeleteYou guys are just horrible when judging people.
Stella hahahahahhahahaha he doesnt have any dysfunctional thingy. He has found another woman and living with her and doesn't want his wife any more. Madam if you can, come to Lagos and look for you husband if you still want him and your marriage. Good luck
ReplyDeleteThis is the truth. There’s someone else in the picture.
DeleteI won't lie...this crossed my mind.
DeleteTruly sounds like someone who has moved on. It is time to do your research. I even surprised that you haven't done that already. The signs are too many...look for a way to know what's happening to your hubby o!
Delete😂😂😂😂Sorry, I can't help but laugh @ Stella's comment. Poster, it's like the more you pressure him, the farther he runs. For now, just focus on you and your baby.
ReplyDeleteStella I disagree with ur red pen..haba na,put urself in her shoes.The woman wants to keep her home and man that's y she's seeking for advise.if na woman wey no send she go fashi d man go look for anoda horse to ride.
DeleteMadam I think ur hubby has a side chick and wants out.i advise u report him to his people.
women and penis matter. It's well Sha. I understand
ReplyDeleteIt’s not penis matter. Be smart !
DeleteWhich stupid penis matter,if she starts cheating now same u will crucify her.abi u want her to fold her arms until d hubby contract aids then he'll come back and inflict her .
DeleteShe’s married to the man. She’s allowed. At least she’s not cheating.
DeleteThey are married for Gods sake. Which one is penis matter again. Don't we know what marriage is all about again 😯😯
DeleteSTFU!!
DeleteIf it was a married man that posted about his wife denying him his conjugal rights, the comments would have been littered with people telling her that she is torturing the woman by withholding sex.
Do you think that women do not have blood& feel horny too?
Mcheww!!
Cj
When a married woman complains that she is not getting sex from her hubby, men that have poor performance in bed always feel the need to attack her..
DeleteThey will rather prefer to call her an ashawo with high libido than taking their butt to hospital for solutions..
This is the beginning of most dna deceits oh, if you like don't take satisfy your wife in bed, another man will help you& she will pass his baby to you as a souvenir 😂..
Cj
Everything that makes him feel like a man is gone. No financial stability, his thing kukuma no dey work well. Ahhh Nne e go hard oo.. At this point in a man's life if you both are not in any way friends, he can't confide in you, be able to share his frustrations and what not he'll stay away. He'll keep running away till he gets his acts together.
ReplyDeleteHe's your husband, find a way for you both to see, he's not coming to you, you should go to him. You guys need to talk. Friendship in marriage is a must abeg.
Madam so sorry about your situation. I pray the good Lord guide in whatever decision you choose to make.
ReplyDeleteposter i think you should concentrate on your daughter for now as your husband seem not to be interested with you anymore. You should try to involve family members to see if he has moved or is still interested in the marriage so that you can know your stand.
ReplyDeleteyou said his p#nis entered inside and fell like a cloth... do you mean because of child birth your pussy is now so wide? if that is the case you can try to make it tight with natural home made remedies or go for surgery to tighten the place. But please do not kill yourself because you want to satisfy a man who is not even considerate of what you are going through because of the child you both had together.
finally, i feel you are married to yourself as your man may have moved on with another woman. he feels you are a threat to him since he is broke.
Is there anywhere she said her Virgina is wide? She only painted the senerio of what happened. Please don't add to her pains with your write up.
Delete[you said his p#nis entered inside and fell like a cloth... do you mean because of child birth your pussy is now so wide? if that is the case you can try to make it tight with natural home made remedies or go for surgery to tighten the place. But please do not kill yourself because you want to satisfy a man who is not even considerate of what you are going through because of the child you both had together.]
Delete@excited you should have re-read this before posting.
Dear poster, it is difficult to force a horse to drink from the river. No hell or high water can keep a devoted father or loving husband from his family. So, all these erectile dysfunction, poverty, lockdown excuse no reach for your hubby to stay away from his family for so long! The guy never tell you the REAL reason he hasn't come to see his baby or wife...
ReplyDeleteHis penis felt like cloth! Hahahahaha sorry, that got me reeling.
ReplyDeleteMadam, your problem is bigger than the “cloth” penis. Pray to God for wisdom because with the limited information you gave, you will only get limited advise.
Wisdom comes from God. Be still and listen to the Holy Spirit
Something is wrong making him to stay away from you and till he takes care of that, you have to face the reality of him not visiting or living alone. I know it might be difficult to blank him but if you can't, reduce your calls urging him to visit you. That way, he can't guess you and might come running.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes
Ridiculous....is he jealous of your new job or what.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you do, don't quit that job, a d please focus on your kid, when he eventually comes back, carry condom give am. That's my own.
I agree with your comment jare!
DeletePoster, don't ever think of quitting your job, and bikoooooooooooooo don't have intercourse without protection.
Use your head now and not your heart.
Meanwhile, what is your in laws view on the ongoings?
Maybe he has found a new lover (male/female).
ReplyDeleteAs you keep trying to unravel this, don't forget to live each day to the full and keep moving ahead.
BTW love and marriage is a 2 side coin. You can't force someone to stay with you or love you, if they don't want to
You both aren't on the same page. He wants to leave the country and you want him to stay back and rebuild his business and he is obviously not interested. The same business that got ruined due to his gambling ways. He is already demoralized to start all over again knowing how it ended at the first trial. He sees you are settled financially and he wants to sort himself out by looking for greener pasture outside of the country. He wants to find his own footings and his desire does not lie with the business you are encouraging him to embark on once more. If you are in support of him travelling out why bring up the idea of reviving the old business once again? It seems you aren't so keen on him travelling out because you would be sex-starved. I may be wrong but the last thing on the mind of a broke man is sex.
ReplyDeleteSabella not broke men in Naija. That's their favorite hobby o!
DeleteDon't you see they are the ones that impregnate their wives every year?
It is well. Please, give him time and keep praying for him.
ReplyDeleteYou said it's been one year,ten months since you guys were last intimate. Same you still said you tried doing the do( that's like having sex which you claim you haven't done in a long time) last December. That's like 7 months ago. To me I think you are just plain stupid and deceptive. You are just being economical with the truth. You have cheated on your husband and you are only hoping to have sex with him to cover your guilt..
ReplyDeleteYou must be very stupid to say I'm deceptive, did you not see where I said we tried that means it never happened and, I haven't cheated on my husband or even considering I'm not like you
DeleteLord who is this person Lord?
DeleteKaiiiiiii Why the unfounded accusation?
Ahia Onye ma ka ona azu!
This is possibly the most idiotic comment I have ever read here.
DeletePoster, Correct! I love the way you responded to that senseless comment up there from anon 15:26. That's how you people with your warped minds will be making all kinds of baseless assumptions. If you nothing sensible to say, keep shut.
DeleteNo matter what, it's not good to abandon your partner like that. Poster just give him space since you have tried every possible means for him to come back, his pride and ego won't let him seek for help concerning his erectile dysfunction, focus on yourself and child, he will soon get tired.
ReplyDeletePoster you mean you wanna having more children for a jobless man? God is saving you from wahala but you seems to love the life of suffering and smiling. If he doesn't want to be intimate with you is bcos he doesn't want more children to add to his burdens for now. Let him find his feet first. Na full pocket dey make man get erection.
ReplyDeleteit is NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE ALONE...SAYS THE LORD; Gen. 2:18
ReplyDeleteMadam, you chose job to your family, a stable family.
Why are you complaining?
You know another truth? The man has gotten used to "not touching you"
(and perhaps touching somebody else).
When you choose career over companionship which is God's idea of marriage,
this is one of the occupational hazards.
You know the right thing to do now. 🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️
What's this you are writing ANG? Didn't you see where she needed the job to support the family? Did she say the man should not join her? So a man cannot sacrifice only a woman should? You need to reevaluate this your one-sided way of talking.
DeleteWould it have been better to remain with her husband and stay broke and jobless?
DeleteFrom your comments, it seems for you, life is in either black or white. Context is hardly considered either and hasty generalizations are your expertise.
Seriously!!. Even Christ is not this judgmental. What's Godly about a gambling addiction in the first place. So she should not consider herself and future children first, but stay with a chronic gambler. It is well. All this one sided Bible quotations without balance is causing more havoc than good.
DeleteHer husband chose other pleasures over his family. Poster ignore this comment. You at not at fault. Your husband is the one with issues here. He failed to provide for his family thereby dropping the responsibility on you. Instead of him to appreciate his help meet, he runs away. Infidel is how the Bible describes such a man. Don't even let this comment pin any guilt on you. The guilt in this matter belongs to your husband. 🙄 Aunty Anon e Pele o! Kindness is one of the fruits of the spirit. Try working on that. Equity and fairness are godly attributed. You might want to work on those too. Any opportunity to bash women, you jump on it like bee jumps on pollen. I have never seen you pass your judgments on erring men. God is just. You, my dear anon, are not just in your comments. But guess what? We are all work in progress. Humble yourself and learn of Jesus Christ who was meek, kind, loving, just and righteous. Peace.
Delete17:26 you gave the best response the best response to 15:30's one-sided comment and reasoning who conveniently forgot virtous woman in Proverbs 31.
DeleteLove is the Christ-like attitude and first response of a child of God towards others.
15:30 is not ANG as 15:54 assumed.
Jesus!
DeleteNawa o!
Smh some comments na wao
DeleteNaawoo!
DeleteYou have it all figured out!
You are such a meanie!
Passing judgement like someone drunk!
May God help to purge you of your hatred for women, because IT IS NOT ORDINARY!
Invite God into this matter, focus on ur urself and daughter, agaracha must come back
ReplyDeleteDear poster, I am literally begging God on your behalf praying that your husband hasn't gone M.I.A on you.
ReplyDeletePlease do you have any of his family member that is your friend, talk to that person about it.
Poster dear,it's well with you..I will advise you to try and bring back friendship to your marriage,spice it up by asking him what's going on with him and show deep concern..stop nagging or requesting for gbenshing this period,your husband is going through a lot and as a wise woman don't nag him! Show that you care about his feelings and all! Be wise
ReplyDeleteAll the best
STELLA THE MAN DON SACK HER.
ReplyDeleteHow can she not even be told where he is?
Sis report to his family, let them know so when the divorce comes, they won't be surprised and be aggressive.
But don't waste too much time to realize the marriage is over.
STELLA THE MAN DON SACK HER.
ReplyDeleteHow can she not even be told where he is?
Sis report to his family, let them know so when the divorce comes, they won't be surprised and be aggressive.
But don't waste too much time to realize the marriage is over.
The only thing you can do now, since you are the one earning is to beg him to come to where you are.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard for a man to do because the dog wags the tail. The head controls the body and not the other
way round. But foremost, plead with God in fasting and prayer, for mercy. You know why?
The only wise God said that it is not good for man to be alone and made the woman
as a helper for him: A companion for him.
And the people of this world say that wisdom of the world is to leave the man
and pursue jobs? So you were the one that breached that companionship that God gave you this man
to accomplish in his life. It may sound foolish. But the foolishness of God is wiser than the wisdom of men.
1 Cor. 1:25
@**** 15:54 please come and explain Proverbs 31 especially verse 14 "She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar."
DeleteAre you implying Poster should not have taken up that Federal Govt job in the East but stay back to manage hunger with a gambling husband whose business has failed? 😲😲😲
Please, could you quote the scripture about the role of a man in marriage and family? Write the equation and solve for x, then give us your answer.
No need to dignify a senseless comment, no need.
Delete18:59, well done my dear.
Pray for your husband! Mental health is a serious issue!
ReplyDeleteShow him deep concern, Encourage him to open up to you whatever he may be going through. No one here knows for sure exactly what he may be going through. Don’t be too focused on the sex cos that too can be frustrating. I haven’t had sex since early 2018 when I got pregnant, so I know what that feels like, but right now you should be more concerned about helping your husband out with whatever he is dealing with. Call the attention of his parent if they are understanding people that can handle issues with wisdom. This is the right time for you to be selfless, with this am sure you will realize what is really happening with him, you’d know if it’s another woman’s issue or he’s just frustrated with life, if the latter is the case then, you’d need to stick by him and help him overcome it, if it is the former then, you can make a decision.
Loosing everything to gambling can lead to depression. Be his friend and get to the bottom of it
A thousand likes to this biko.
DeleteI became angry at all the above assumptions on this couple. Sometimes, every marriage issue shouldn't find it's way on SM.
Thank you @The light, you just spoke exactly my mind.
Good one!
DeleteGAMBLING IS ADDICTIVE. The husband needs to give his life to Christ and seek God's help through prayer and studying/practicing God's Word.
DeleteThe much his wife can do for him is to pray him to salvation.
While at it, the best she can do for herself is get on family planning and not get pregnant until her marriage/husband becomes responsible and financially stable. 🙏
Abeg go and rest. You have moved to the east, face your job there.
ReplyDeleteAll the rant because of gbenshing.
Don u are very rude.keep mouth like akupe..cos of gbenshing yen yen yen..any responsible woman will be worried if her hubby doesnt touch her.
DeleteShe is a married woman & that is her conjugal rights!!..
DeleteYour low performing preek shouldn't catch feelings in her post.
Cj
Lmao @ mouth like Akupe
DeleteThe imagery is making me reel from laughter
Just thank God you only have 1 child. No need for gbenshing whilst he is jobless. Just call his family members and let them know the situation on ground. Try to have a heart to heart with him. If no change after a year, move on!
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised you think you still have a marriage.
ReplyDeleteGet a dildo or get a boyfriend to gbensh you. Life is too short
ReplyDeleteIt might be because of financial issues, but atleast he should tell you where he is.
ReplyDeleteGbenshing is important as well Stella. I feel you should send him a message about how u feel and pray God returns his glory cos loss if job affects a lot of men differently.
ReplyDeleteIt's difficult to stay like a widow when one is actually married. How long will you be in that situation? You don't know and I don't know either. Go to your family and open up to them because it's giving you so much concern maybe they will invite your in-laws and inquire from them if they're in touch with your husband. It looks somehow he should show love and care by visiting even if it's not regular because of his financial problems.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure you need to call him your husband.Even if has financial probs,his character isnt enough to justify his action
ReplyDeleteBut wait Poster, I don't understand you and this your husband. Both of you aren't on the same page at all. You are complaining he hasn't come to see you you yet you are helping him plan to relocate to another country? What do you think that will mean for your marriage? You both are in Nigeria and hardly see talkless of when he's thousands of miles away in a foreign land???? Both of you need to have a serious and sincere conversation about what you both want out of this union and how to achieve it together, if at all possible. Coz what I forsee is if he ever ventures out of Nigeria, you can bid him goodbye forever.
ReplyDeleteMen learn to confront your issues headon
ReplyDeleteBe courageous
Not moping or transferring aggression
He has another family.
ReplyDelete