STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
RIGHT OR WRONG
Hello Stella,
Thanks for the good Job you do.i have an issue that made me restless all through the night which i want blog visitors to help out with their advice.
I got a househelp about 8 months ago,I have 3 kids and I am not the type that maltreats househelp,i always do my best to make them feel at home,and since she came we never had any issues despite that I notice she lie alot and also do some small small stealing which I always caught her,so she stopped gradually,She is also slow at work but I manage her like that since that's the best she can offer.
When she came she told me she has a phone and ask if she can be using the phone, I said its not a problem,the sim that came with the phone wasn't working so I got another sim for her,
A lot of people started calling mostly men and I asked her why does a lot of men call her and when they call its always a very long call,she is 17 years,She said its her family that calls,She does midnight calls and always on her phone,I warned her severally about always been with her phone which affects her work mostly,
I started noticing someone calls her at 6am every morning also a long call but anytime i am around her she doesn't pick the call and if she picks she will go and hide herself,then I told her its as if you don't want to use this phone again because when you are hiding to pick your calls or you don't pick at all if am around you,you get me scared.
Two days later a neighbour called to tell me of how they see her in corners with a guy working as a tiller in a building opposite my house,and I know that recently anytime I send her on an errand, she goes for long to the extent that I will be on the street looking for her, so i put her to a test to see things by myself,I sent her on an errand and followed her,I waited around so she won't see me,when coming back she was walking with the guy and even stood to talk with the guy,when I approached her she said the guy just walked up to talk with her that evening and she didn't answer him and I said you didn't answer but you stood with him to talk,when you saw me the guy quickly ran.
When my husband got back from work,i told him what has been going on and I told him am going to have a talk with her and collect that phone from her for some time,My husband responded and asked if that will the solve the problem? and I said its even risky for us living in the house,what if they use her to set us up or something,and he didn't say anything again.
The next morning again,this girl phone started ringing at exactly the same time and she didn't pick and the person kept calling,at that point I called her to say who exactly is this person always calling you at this time every morning and I also told her about the guy I heard she is going out with recently and I told her "don't you know you are too young for all this men you are following up and down"that if anything happens they will all flee,at that point I collected her phone and told her when i am ready to give her the phone back i will.
Hello Stella,
Thanks for the good Job you do.i have an issue that made me restless all through the night which i want blog visitors to help out with their advice.
I got a househelp about 8 months ago,I have 3 kids and I am not the type that maltreats househelp,i always do my best to make them feel at home,and since she came we never had any issues despite that I notice she lie alot and also do some small small stealing which I always caught her,so she stopped gradually,She is also slow at work but I manage her like that since that's the best she can offer.
When she came she told me she has a phone and ask if she can be using the phone, I said its not a problem,the sim that came with the phone wasn't working so I got another sim for her,
A lot of people started calling mostly men and I asked her why does a lot of men call her and when they call its always a very long call,she is 17 years,She said its her family that calls,She does midnight calls and always on her phone,I warned her severally about always been with her phone which affects her work mostly,
I started noticing someone calls her at 6am every morning also a long call but anytime i am around her she doesn't pick the call and if she picks she will go and hide herself,then I told her its as if you don't want to use this phone again because when you are hiding to pick your calls or you don't pick at all if am around you,you get me scared.
Two days later a neighbour called to tell me of how they see her in corners with a guy working as a tiller in a building opposite my house,and I know that recently anytime I send her on an errand, she goes for long to the extent that I will be on the street looking for her, so i put her to a test to see things by myself,I sent her on an errand and followed her,I waited around so she won't see me,when coming back she was walking with the guy and even stood to talk with the guy,when I approached her she said the guy just walked up to talk with her that evening and she didn't answer him and I said you didn't answer but you stood with him to talk,when you saw me the guy quickly ran.
When my husband got back from work,i told him what has been going on and I told him am going to have a talk with her and collect that phone from her for some time,My husband responded and asked if that will the solve the problem? and I said its even risky for us living in the house,what if they use her to set us up or something,and he didn't say anything again.
The next morning again,this girl phone started ringing at exactly the same time and she didn't pick and the person kept calling,at that point I called her to say who exactly is this person always calling you at this time every morning and I also told her about the guy I heard she is going out with recently and I told her "don't you know you are too young for all this men you are following up and down"that if anything happens they will all flee,at that point I collected her phone and told her when i am ready to give her the phone back i will.
from that morning till evening this girl started misbehaving,like slamming doors,throwing plates,frowning and all that,I ignored her,I got angry in the evening when I sent my daughter to go and ask her something and she told my daughter not to ask her any stupid question.
I went to meet her and said why did she answer in such manner,she just looked up and said "am not working again"and i said that's fine,I will call the person that brought her.
I narrated the whole thing to my husband and he didn't say anything at first,I told him why is he not saying anything to the matter,he said because he doesn't have anything to say to it.when i pestered too much,he then said why will I collect phone from her,did I buy the phone for her?he said why didn't I just warn her and say I dont want her to receive that calls again and that I don't want to see her with the guy again.
I told him i have warned this girl severally,it's when I saw she isn't ready to listen that I had to collect the phone and he still said i am wrong,i really don't know if he is right or i am wrong,I want blog visitors to see to this issue and let me know if I am wrong.
*Hmmmmm,your hubbys response to this issue is somehow.
*Hmmmmm,your hubbys response to this issue is somehow.
You have every right to be alert to the activities of the help in your home...Please i think you should send her back because from what you explained,she does not seem to know that she is there for work..
Please return her and get someone else...
That girl should leave your home Asap!
ReplyDeleteExactly! Don't take chances, give her the phone and send away immediately. There can't be two captains on a ship.
DeleteExactly!! Give her the phone and send her away immediately. There can't be two captains on a ship.
DeleteExactly what is happening in my own house minus the husband part.
DeleteSame 17year old, same incessant calls that interrupts her work.
Let me be reading comments.
If not for Coro I would ve sacked my own since.
Please send her away Asap and always be at alert.
DeleteI understand your husband because you actually dint get the phone for her, but you have to protect your family at all cost.
DeleteThank God she said she wants to leave, let her go, it can be very dangerous when they start relating with different men around the area, they can even get infected.
She should leave immediately biko
DeleteHer cup is full already don't allow it to overflow
Deletesend her out and get someone else to avoid another chronicle
Do you know that girl can even plan with those boys and come and rob or kidnap members of that family? you better act fast. She is an insider with a lot of personal and sensitive info about your family. Don't dare let her get to comfortable
DeleteShe opened her mouth to say she's going o, please release her immediately.
DeleteGive her back the phone and send her away. This is the age guys won't let her be and it's obvious she's ready to enjoy her life.
Madam,if i were you,would scrutinise that phone intonto before giving it to her.and no one should say maybe the husband doesn't want to get involved. Liessss Hes attitude towards the whole matter is kinda suspicious.
DeleteThe earlier you send that girl away,the better for you. To me,you're even wasting time.
Biko, let her go and No, you did no wrong.
DeleteYou have got kids in the house and you must be protective of your home.
A wayward housemaid could cause you a lot of havoc, before you know she is inviting riff raffs into your home when you are out, God forbid they molest your kids or something!!
Is your husband gbenshing or eyeing her? Why is he so non chalant? The girl is your responsibility and you must know what she is up to.
Taking the phone from her for a few days to reset her brain was not wrong.
Anyway, let her go.
I am the poster,My husband,s response is very suspicious but I decide not to dwell on it,I collected her from an agent and its only her agent that can come pick her,I have been trying to call her but her number isnt going through,maybe she isn't in Nigeria at the moment and I dont have her cotonue number,She has even been carrying the attitude of I am tired of this work up and down but I ignore her mostly
DeleteMadam 18:16 pls try all you can to locate the agent and offload the wahala........
DeleteDont forget to collect d simcard from her. Just give her her fone
DeleteI was waiting for you or someone to say that. Your hubby's response is suspicious which is crazy.
DeleteI hope you don 'snoop' oo, because you will be surprised what you will find.
Madam, truly you had no right to seize or collect her phone. It isn't yours so it shouldn't be with you. Give her back her phone and let her leave since that's what she wants.
DeletePoster, don’t suspect your husband. Mine would say the same. Some men don’t know how to communicate or judge matters. That is why he was silent initially. Most men are not intuitive and don’t like domestic issues weighing them down
DeleteI agree that you don’t have to suspect your husband. Mine would have said the same thing. He doesn’t like involving himself in issues like that. He will say it’s your staff so handle it yourself.
DeleteMadam before you return that phone. ...copy out those numbers that have been calling her, you may need it in the future oooo.
DeleteHmmmmm, I am really sorry to say this and if I'm wrong please forgive me poster.
DeleteI hope your husband doesn't sleep with your maid or probably she's caught your husband in a wrong act.
Please send this girl away, continue calling the nos of the person that brought her make dem come carry her comot especially because of the innocent kids you've got.
Nonsense 😏
PLS SEND HER BACK IMMEDIATELY. Once they say they are not working again,return them back pls. You have to be careful with anything maid nowdays. Her mind isnt there anymore. Dont worry she will learn her lesson with men at her own time. Na still pregnancy go end her matter.
DeletePls don't mind your husband.
DeleteLike most men, that thing between his legs won't allow him reason well.
Send her away since she has refused to listen.
Love that she doesn't even understand is shakking her up.
Send her away before your husband starts defending her Eve when she's in your presence.
DeleteLike I said earlier, that thing between his legs has eroded his senses.
Deja Vu.
What do you people even mean by suspecting her hubby upandan. It is clear that the man doesn't want to be a part of you and your maid drama but you won't let him be. Why drag your hubby into such a trivial matter? My hubby doesn't and can't be bothered about maid issue. Madam your hubby ignored you because he has better things to think of. So you can't handle a simple maid issue? Send your maid ASAP joor
DeleteSend her away abeg. On to the next one life no hard.
ReplyDeleteMadam one question, why is she still in your house pls? She called your question "Stupid" and she is still in your house with all the stories you hear flying up and down. You are still sleeping in the same roof with her?
DeleteIs like your husband is fucking her,let her leave so she won't harm you or your kids
DeleteI tire o. Tey tey she don reach her village. I don't even have such patience though I have always been lucky with helps and staff.
DeleteMadam, first take the SIM, break it, delete every contact, reset to default, hand it to her them let her go. At least before she can reconnect with certain people time would have lapsed in case there is something the Conner boy is planning.
Your husband... anyway handle your home and don't ask his opinion again.
I only concern myself with relationship matters,i was patient reading your tales,you wasting time,SEND HER PACKING ASAP,and save us the stress of reading next time!!
ReplyDeleteShe’s not going to stop anytime soon with or without a phone. Best thing is to decide if paying attention to men instead of the job is something you would want to deal with. She is at that age where men are “shacking” her and honestly nothing you can do to stop her from enjoying the attention. Advice her calmly not harshly of the dangers of getting entangled with these men. Let me tell you what new lie she may come up with “Aunty, my mama dey sick (or any family member she can think of), I wan go visit am” meanwhile, it’s a man’s house she’d be going to.
ReplyDeleteIt’s either you set her up to learn a skill while she helps around the house or you send her back. I don’t like the idea of helps just sitting in all day in the name of “working”. House work never finishes, and this is why they get bored enough to be focused on no good men. Give her back her phone, talk to her about what is going on and let her know you are ready to send her back if she doesn’t stop. Those men will definitely poison her mind towards you because they want her to themselves and will do anything to get her to do their bidding.
Welcome back Doppelganger😊🤗
DeleteI quite agree with this opinion. But I think since she has mentioned that she wants to go, please don't keep her any longer. Allow her go cos she will be uninterested in her regular duties as well as disrespectful now. Let her go.
The wrong you did was being harsh when advising her. Learn to be subtle in your approach, you'll get better results.
Welcome back Doppleganger I won't be surprised it's because you relocated that is why you have been missing here.
DeleteAlso madam please let her go, she isn't focused. I was also 17 but I was afraid of guys and I don't want to disappoint my parents. Since you have been advising her and she doesn't want to heed please let her go. This isn't a 13year old you can handle with iron fist. In my opinion she has opened eyes and these kind of ladies anything can happen.
Doppellllllllll🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
DeleteWell back Doppelganger.
DeleteSame issue I have...my own girl is facebook...since I accepted her as my daughter. I just took the phone from her till further notice.
I completely disagree. Madam, once they say they want to leave, let them go. You can no longer trust her. She will wreak havoc in your home as she has now tasted men. LET HER GO.
DeleteShe is from cotonue,she said she prefers learning in their country,I am a very soft person,i have warned her severally as well as talked with her calmly,I told her that men are not reliable and at this age what I expect from her is focus in whatever she is doing,I treated her like my own sister,if we go to market,I don't allow her carry anything instead I call people and pay for their services,she was very respectful when she just came but changes all of a sudden.
DeletePoster please let her go for your own good.
DeleteHmmmm, the more I read from you poster the more I feel you should let her leave.
DeletePoster please let her go abeg.
DeleteFree her pls poster.
DeletePlease send her away. You need a help, not a burden. I got headache sef from reading this. She'll only get worse
ReplyDeletePoster send her away before she collect ur husband join. Hmmm a word is enough sha. Send her back
DeleteThats why i dont do helps. The two i tried were not this stressful yet they still gave me headache. If you look well, you, your husband and kids can handle the chores without needing extra help.
DeletePlease let her go, she's already an adult. How do people even feel comfortable with all these helps that they are not familiar with.
ReplyDeletePlease return her phone ASAP and send her back to avoid stories that touch. She doesnt know her place or what she's there for. She's too young for all that.
ReplyDeleteCHECK HER PHONE, REMOVE YOUR HUSBAND'S NUMBERB IF ITS THERE AND YOURS. COLLECT YOUR SIM CARD, TELL HER that ITS NOW OFFICIAL LINE for any new worker that you will employ, but new Sim for her, get the new number in case, if she decides to use it to threaten you.
DeleteSend her away fast.
I dey suspect that your husband, remember Yam and Goat shouldn't be together. All this bad news everyday is enough to be careful in bringing in someone to live with.
Don't let anyone convince you to allow her stay O. CORONA, HIV, Tuberculosis, still dey
Exactly what I wanted to say!
ReplyDeleteReturn that girl please!
Your husband is not straight forward abeg🙄🙄
Which is did you buy the phone for her?
Even if it's my younger sister doing that at that age and she's in my house,I will collect that phone wether I bought it or not!
Trouble is looming!
If you were in the comment section,I for ask you what time your husband leaves for work 🤣🤣🤣wether he's the one that calls the girl😵😵😵😵🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃
Bella u know book... You spilled it..her husband is a suspect...
DeleteExactly my thought... which one is did you buy the phone for her. Until she will introduce the daughter to bad things...mscheww pls send her away no sentiments because if she wants to leave she won’t care if she leaves you high and dry.
DeleteLol pls don't shake that table 😀😀
Deletehe may not even have anything to do with the housegirl. Maybe he just likes her look too but not necessarily straffing her. Men can be daft and oblivious to dangers looming especially when it is from a woman.That is why they are easily fooled, tricked, jazzed and snatched.
DeleteHe leaves very early.i don't think he call her because I checked and even dialled his no on her to see if the phone will bring the no,but it didnt
DeleteHe might not even have anything to do with her.There are some matters I won't even ask my husband because his response will surely annoy me.
DeleteHe can give this response if I am in this situation.
Poster please don't start trouble with your husband except you have strong evidence.
Exactly side eyes at poster's husband. Poster try verify who get those numbers calling. U might find something useful before u return the phone back to her. Go thru d messages. Check true callers with those number. U fit know one of those men🙄🙄
DeleteSexy hips 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteYou ppl shld stop vilifying men abeg. Men dont like all dis housemaid wahala. Mine doesnt even put mouth in anything nanny or maid. Hardly communicates with them. He leaves all dat to me except i ask for his advice. Its just typical men behaviour. They have bills to think of than putting mouth. They dont want conflict so will probably just say give her her phone back.
DeleteGod bless you @22:20! They must always find a way to accuse men of wrongdoing even when innocent.
DeleteMust be really hard being a man. Sigh!
And who are those men that sleep with their maids and impregnate them? Like these things don't happen.
DeleteDear Poster, this your husband's response get as he be ooo ( what if the girl is his daughter, would he have bothered less) there is something definitely fishy.
ReplyDeleteBiko return the girl before she turns your house to a brothel and influences your kids or gets pregnant under your roof.
As per your husband, shine your eyes even if you eventually send this one away and get another one.
Stella koko,iji ya,poster,Stella over made sense, her red pen is on point
ReplyDeleteYour husband response and action sound off and aloof....
ReplyDeletePlease let her go since she told you she's no longer interested...
Poster I wonder why your husband will give that type of response! You did the right thing cos some of these girls end up setting their oga's up or getting pregnant! If she want to leave,let her go! It's better before she does something worse
ReplyDeleteGo to other agency and request for an advanced woman,they are better! And don't do live in again cos most times it doesn't end good
Spot on @ Paris
DeleteAdvance woman that won't live with her is better
@Paris...u see this live in maids,some are devil in disguise.
DeleteThis story is almost exactly what I experienced last year with the live in maid I had except for the fact that she's hardworking. My hubby didn't believe me at first until he saw it with his eyes.
Dear poster,is your maid from the western part?
Is she dark?
Does she have gap tooth?
Your story is similar to mine
Exactly. I prefer them older like in their 40's. Those ones are more hard working, you don't always have to tell them what to do, they know the value of earning a living by keeping a job and you can sow seeds in the lives of their children which is added advantage. No head ache at all.
DeleteHmmmmmm
ReplyDeletePoster, let it not be what I'm thinking... Your husbands answer is not straight...
I will advise you to send her back to her parents... She fit wake up one day slap you or harm your kids, this one your husband is supporting her.
I have always been scared of having a live-in house help. Send her away. She is a recipe for disaster. There are a thousand and one things that can go wrong. She can come infect your children. She can sexually abuse your children. She can even set your household up with armed robbers. Send her away and get an elderly person that can come clean, cook, wash and leave at the end of the day
ReplyDeleteAwww she is in looove🙄. It is at this age that body be doing them Paulina paulina.
ReplyDeleteBiko send her back asap, you get someone to help you around the house but they start giving you wahala because toto don dey scratch am. Nsogbu uwa! As for your husband, i have no words.
Gifty please which one is Paulina paulina?😂😂😂
DeleteLol gbam!
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteYou better send her back immediately, that was how my house help then, now I can do without them, will clutch phone 2,4,7 always on call, the next news was that she was pregnant. Send her packing before she gets pregnant and pin it on her husband to spite you. Don't even try to negotiate with her, this is their age, she won't stop.
ReplyDeleteWhen is she leaving your home please
ReplyDeleteForget whatever your husband has said and please SEND that girl back to the hole she crawled from.
ReplyDeleteThat's how they all are,dont feel bad over anything.
Let her go.
This your advice shows me you are a matured person.
DeleteGod bless you madam
Let her go. Whenever they feel too big, then it's time to change them.na konji dey worry her. Let her go and see what the world has to offer.
ReplyDeletePlease madam return her ASAP!!! they have started receiving her before you know Belle go come,then you will start to blame yourself for allowing it gets to this level..and also at this stage of her life u can't force her to stop because she's in lust.free her for u have done your best as a guardian,if she stay more longer she will be a bad influence to your kids.
ReplyDeleteYou want to know the truth?
ReplyDeleteI have said it before; like the clear blue sky...
Do not allow any teenager to have an internet enabled phone
Do not allow any teenager to own a phone...
It is like a pound of cocaine to them (this one na research them talk am o)
It is addictive, they misbehave and they are exposed to all the porn and hell online.
They meet strangers on social media and through calls and walk into traps.
I have not finished o
🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️
This is 2020. The least you could do is monitor the usage and limit their search, you can't stop them from owning phones entirely.
DeleteSo 2020 is your lawless year?
DeleteAnd no teenager met folks online and disappeared in 2020?
Why don't you form a teenage phone giving charity?😜😜😜🐥🐤🐥🐤🐥🐤
Please send her away, the help you keep in your house has an influence over how your children turn out!! Send her away please! She,s quite unrepentant!
ReplyDeleteThe only thing you get do now is to send her back...she will get pregnant one day under your 👃
ReplyDeleteSo you should have struck the deal of no phone when she came.
ReplyDeleteAs it is, you took her property.
Since she wants to go, let her go.
YOu did not tell us how old your kids are
But know that if they are up to 8 years, they can substitute for the
helps doing chores in the house and you will be free from all the plenty
wahalas. 😊😊😊😊😊😊
Your hubby's response is really somehow, please send her back to where she came from. That disrespect is enough, if i was her boss she would be gone already.
ReplyDeleteTruth be told, you didn’t buy the phone for her just the SIM card ( according to your narrative) so you should have seized the sim but then, any of her callers will get a replacement for her. That being said, you should involve the person that brought her and start considering sending her away. While at it, please change your locks and keys for safety reasons. Keep a close eye on your kids for security reasons.
ReplyDeleteSubsequently, part of your rule to your employees should be no phone calls within a certain period of time that way, they try getting their work done in time for their own ME TIME. And do not get to comfortable or unnecessarily close and familiar with them. Try to balance it out. Good luck!
Your hubby is right! Why seize a phone you didn't buy for her?
ReplyDeleteSend her away if you ain't comfortable with her behaviour
She is under my control,I have every right to seize the phone if i see the phone is becoming an obstacle and also I have the right to scold her if she does anything wrong
DeleteRubbish talk! Why didn't you send her packing when you noticed she changed? You had to seize her phone to prove you're her madam abi? Mtchewwww
DeleteSend her the fuck away and stop littering this post with your annoying explanations.
Poster, does your own boss seize your phone? Does your pastor seize your phone if it rings in church? You may have employed a child but that does not make you her parent- you are her boss. This is why your husband decided to be silent on your case after a few comments- you have no sense of boundaries.
DeleteInstead of being assertive and sending the girl away or actively seeking a replacement the moment you saw the house work suffering, you turned inspector, monitor and then dictator. Now you are reading too much meaning into what a man of few words who knows his wife said. You are going through a phone that is not yours and checking for your husband's number- in the coming weeks or years, if your husband gets to see this and so, knows you think him the type that will bed the help, that would definitely not help your marriage.
You took in a teenager who is doing work you wouldn't want your own kids to do at her age. For her to have been released by her parents to start working like an adult at an early age, you should expect that she would be more mature, experienced and stupidly adventurous than those her age who had more responsible parents or at least, whose parents could afford to train her further. Let this girl go back to her family and go get a mature woman, say in her 40s-50s who understands the value of a salary and free meals.
Abeg rest with your sentimental point of view.
DeleteA 17 year old is not too young to be a maid, she will be her adult In a year and please note, a 17 year old is allowed to work all over the world.
There will always be individuals who will do menial jobs in the society abi no be people they do care work they pack shit in the abroad? Who are those that work in the mortuary? We all will not work in the office so cut out the sentiments.
All of a sudden, men are saints and none of them sleep with their maids.
Y'all sounding like you've never been teenage.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all a househelp should never be less than 18. It is child abuse
Seizing her phone is not the solution.
You correct teenagers with love. Call her, advice her on the many dangers of following men. Tell her you've been there too and let her know that you don't hate her but such character is not one you want in your house.
Your husband's reaction isn't too much of a problem. He no just send. As a matter of fact he believes you're overreacting. You can handle this if you understand how a teenager thinks.
Best of luck!!!
Thank you for being the only reasonable person here.
DeleteNigerian women like child labour and exploitation too much, that’s why you’ll never see them employing adults that know how to behave on the job.
She is a teenager!! Get an adult, that understand the terms of a contract before accepting it.
I don’t know what’s wrong with Nigerian women, you people are just terrible.
You’re seeing phone you didn’t buy that what happened? Mstheewwwww!
This girl don open eyes,she won't listen to any advice.
DeleteShe has started already,who knows what she has been up to before the poster employed her.
O ti go far I think
THANK YOU BV ORIRE.
DeleteYour husband's reaction isn't too much of a problem. He no just send. As a matter of fact he believes you're overreacting. You can handle this if you understand how a teenager thinks.
DeleteBest of luck!!!
Thank you,I agree with this part.My husband can say the same.
But please let her go
Poster send her back as soon as possible. She is not humble at all.
ReplyDeleteSend her away. Otherwise, she will cause you to regret bringing her to your house.
ReplyDeletePls send her away...you hubby's input sef no follow...
ReplyDeletePls send her away...you hubby's input sef no follow...
ReplyDeleteSend her back. What time will she have to do the necessary task assigned to her when she's always on the phone? You're not wrong here.
ReplyDeleteYou husband's response is just somehow.
You did no wrong. You are responsible for her. If something happens to her, you are the first person's police will question. She is also at that age where a lot of talking and supervision is usually required because she is in her teens & she is developing quickly. You can give her one more trial because if she was your daughter, will you won't just let her go? If by then she still insists she does not want to work anymore then she should leave. At least then, you would know you did your best. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteShe has seen the signs, that one chance you mentioned can result in so many consequences........
DeleteMy daughter won't react the way she reacted,she isnt remorseful at all
DeleteIf she were your own daughter, how would you react?
ReplyDeleteLet that answer guide you
Well, she isn't.
DeleteShe's her boss not her mother
When you start treating your subordinates like your family, things just get easier
DeleteWe were all 17 at a point. Let's not pretend like we didn't go through this phase. I remember hiding to make night calls then. All I needed was a push in the right direction and that's what I got.
Sending her away is not a bad idea but you are given the opportunity to set a child straight. Don't just give up on her so easily.
My 2 cents though
Even worse than I did to her.i have never laud my hands on the househelp since she came but I beat my children whenever they deserve,My mum already trained me that you can only be very strict with your kids because they are yours forever,but with other people's children you have to be very lenient and use wisdom,the only reason why i didnt slap her when she started singing different song,slamming doors and even sending my daughter to me that I am asking her a stupid question
DeleteAnon 18:44, how do I over like your comment? Handling people's children is extremely difficult as most of them lack the same value as you. They get away with a whole lot of rubbish because you are being very careful with someone's child. I noticed that with my Dad. Nothing concern him and househelp but you see us his children, try rubbish, he will discipline you thoroughly.
DeletePeople always say what if it's your child? Nobody will judge me for disciplining my child, my child will not come tomorrow to play victim and say that I am wicked. My daughter is 17 and answering multiple calls in my presence and keeping an edge about it? I was once 17 and if you want to be stupid keep it out of my home, period. Most of this kids can't even do that nonsense in their parents house. They act silly then play victim like you are the wicked one. Let her go abeg, before you get into trouble
You shouldn't have seized her phone. You should have sacked her and sent her away outrightly. You're her boss, not her mother.
ReplyDeleteIf you feel my last statement is debatable it's because you are seeing her as a child. 15 year olds baby sit and work in retail outside Nigeria. It is not child labour as far as I know. At least, now you know how to manage the next one. Call her, apologise for seizing her phone (yes,apologise). Pay her for what she has done for the month and include transport fare back to her base. If that girl remains with you it will end in tears.
Do you know the time you used to send in this Chronicle and it published is enough to have sent that girl away? What if she brings people into the house in your absence as she is active with opposite sex? What if she gets pregnant from either of her numerous callers and was advised to say it's your husband?
ReplyDeleteSend her packing and when your husband screams why, you can ask him if there is another interest in the girl other than your family's safety.
Good luck.
Sense will not kill you @ Balkita
DeleteYour hubby is planning to sleep with her. Is there any Nigerian law against using kids as maids Why do people use children as maids? Is it lawful? Poster, she's just being a teenager send her away if you can't take it
ReplyDeletePlease what's being a teenager by speaking with different guys on the phone...i don't get that phase.
DeleteI was once a teenager in my father's house and you can't try half of what this girl is doing.
Imagine slamming the door and singing for my mum....Hain...thats unimaginable Biko.
Madam pls send her out of your house, something similar happened to me also the girl ran away that I had to go and report at the station. Since she opened her mouth to tell you she is not working again, please let her go in peace for your peace of mind.
ReplyDeleteMadam pls send her out of your house, something similar happened to me also the girl ran away that I had to go and report at the station. Since she opened her mouth to tell you she is not working again, please let her go in peace for your peace of mind.
ReplyDeleteSearch that phone for every number and make sure non belongs to your husband. Look out for every phone under every name saved. If any number matches your husband's own delete it. Che k for numbers that have texted her too. Call that number that usually call her around 06:00 am.
ReplyDeleteMake sure you collect her Sim card and give her another new one. After all these, take her and her belongings directly to the person who brought her to your house.
I typed almost the same thing and lost it @ Charity.
DeletePlease change sim, delete your husbands number from her phone and hers from husbands phone.
My husband gave me similar responses regarding my house help and that was all the reason I ever needed to replace her.
It’s well!
Please send the girl away. With your husband's response ţoo (no insult intended) it seems he is getting attached to the girl. This is my experience first-hand with an house-help, only that her own case was not phone palava. Some of these househelps are evil. They are there to cause confusion. Be careful o.
ReplyDeleteThe girl no even dey pity her existence, at 17yrs, house maid and na boys be her problem.
ReplyDeletePoster let that girl go, she has already told you she wants to leave. Next is that she would be giving you attitude. That is one thing with most house helps, when upu try to be nice, they become too comfortable that they forget the major reason they were brought. Both she and the 6am caller are fools. How can she be entertaining calls at such time of the day when she knew her staying condition. She can answer her calls oo but definitely not making it a daily ritual to answer at that particular time and with same person.
ReplyDeleteIs her name Happiness? From the North? Hired her when I had my daughter. She was always on the phone. I told her to hand it over and she did but told me she's not working again.
ReplyDeleteThank God my mum got me a replacement. This one started with phone recently and then my daughter had a reaction to putting something dirty in her mouth; she was so emotional, told me she loves my daughter a lot & is the purpose for which she came to work, apologised to me and promised to put her phone away & be more hands on.
I'm watching sha.
Haaa....abi nah the girl that left my home? Happiness...is she from Benue? Do you get her from Ilu-abo in Akure? Hmmm...if all these points tick...you better Be careful.
Deleteshe is from cotonue
DeleteStella stop saying all these things abeg.Which one is her husbands response is somehow.His view might just be different from his wife’s and it doesn’t mean he has eyes for the house help.Pls stop putting nasty things in people’s heads with your sometimes unwarranted advice and opinions.If I was her husband I would say the same thing,taking the girls phone is doing too much especially these days where social media is everything to some people.As old as I am,if you collect my phone we will have serious problems sef coz my phone is my best friend.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I see absolutely nothing wrong with what he said
DeleteWell my husband gave similar responses until I caught them getting too cozy.
DeleteAll men are not the same but the posters Hubbys response is suspicious.
As a man, i encourage fellow men don't just be a working man or dad.
ReplyDeleteI have been married for 13years with 3kids, i refuse my wife having a maid. We do it together.
We got someone to do laundry twice a month, same for deep cleaning the house twice a month. They don't leave in our house.
I cook , clean, bathe my kids and assist my wife 100% so why should we need a maid?????
Na man you be, God bless your home.
DeleteCorrect man! You are blessed.
DeleteYou are a wonderful husband and father
DeleteNa my husband be this but we have been married for less years than you. He is so helpful but has a terrible temper and we used to fight. Na this imm good side still make me dey dis marriage. He does not do like I am a man so I can't do house chores and me too I try not to take his kindness for granted.
DeleteSMH. You better get rid of that girl before. Or are you waiting for her and that man to plan to rob and harm your family before you make decision to uproot her from your life. Forget pregnancy. The fact that that girl is always calling at that same time seems very fishy. They are planning something. Don't forget. she has all the info about your daily schedule and the inner workings of your home. As for your husband, we all know men can be daft and lack vigilance
ReplyDeletePoster let the girl go. But before that keep a record on all the numbers and names dt call her frequently especially the 6am call. Also dial ur husband line on the phone to see what comes up. It is well with you.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the husband part,maybe that is why he didn't want to be part of the whole thing. So don't miss read his statement. But please send her back home.
ReplyDeleteSend her away asap and don't forget to check her phones and baggage for your safety before she leaves. My help will talk to.me.like that. Is she mad?
ReplyDeleteAbeg tell her to pack and go. There can never be two queens in a house. Once that nonsense starts and you give her free hand she will start to climb on your head and fuq your husband in your own house, planning your downfall. Once you see the signs it is time to let her go. Omo same scenario almost happen to me except this was my own blood cousin from father's side that I took under my wing free of charge and rent free. I dey even dash her advice and other things. Aunty come wan to start to dey do attitide with me. To make matters worse, she is 17 too. No school due to covid na so an idle mind is the devil's workshop. one man for our area dey come chyke her. She opened up to me and I said it is not like I don't want you to be free with me but this idea of allowing random guys near my house I do not like especially cus you don't even know the guy, He may mean harm to us or wanna rape or use and dump especially with all these horrible end time news nowadays,
ReplyDelete. Already I dey reason which style I go use take pursue this girl because of the bitchy attitude and so as not to seem like a wicked person so the babe family no go talk my matter. and when I go to work I am sure she will bring the guy to my house . Only God knows if the guy is a thief, ritualist this girl no wan give herself brain. If she gets pregnant for the guy now, na so the stupid family go dey talk say I be bad influence bla bla bla. Omo as God would have it, me and this girl got into an argument and she mistakenly misyarned and said she wants to pack out. To say I was happy was an understatement. She think say I go beg am. I was very proud to disappoint. I quickly helped her pack her bags so she can go and stay with another cousin. By that time, it was too late for her to change her mind even though I knew pride was hooking the words for her throat like stiff eba. And now there is peace and happiness within the heart of everybody. You do not have to wait for some problems to get bad before you handle them. Nip them in the bud and have some foresignt to avoid stories
Wise woman @ anon 16:42
DeleteSend her packing ASAP. Ensure u break the SIM card but give her the phone.
ReplyDeleteErrrmmm...Your husband is somehow right. Why take away something you didn't buy? You are equally not wrong. Send her away as soon as possible. She has been misbehaving and you have condoned for too long. Get someone that doesn't live in your house to come work and go. For your peace of mind. House helps are something else these days.
ReplyDeletePlease destroy the SIM incase your husband has ulterior motives.
ReplyDeleteStella has spoken, I dare not contradict.
ReplyDeleteReturn the girl now, tomorrow might be too late
Yinmu!!!!!
DeleteSince she said she wants to go, give her a motherly advice, pray for her and pay her off, make sure she leaves ur house on a peaceful note, u don't know what tomorrow will bring. Don't throw her out horribly or mistreat her bcoz of her outburst,let her leave peacefully if you throw her out horribly the devil might fill her with hate and the thirst to cause u harm, remember she is a teenager and her blood is hot, she might quickly think out some evil plan to deal with u out of bitterness. Please be careful don't let the bad blood in the comments here fill u with rage, they are in there house drinking and eating in peace, when e red dey go tell u eeeyah sorryoooh, but the deed is done already. Be careful peace is the best.
ReplyDeleteSend her away before outsiders use her to harm your family. But collect the SIM so she doesn't have contact with people around you.
ReplyDeleteYour husband response is kinda suspicious. As the man figure in the house, I expected a serious response. That girl could become a security threat. Is either you are not in very good terms with your husband (Judging by his response)or he has something to do with the girl. I mean, she didn't even beg for the phone, but rather she revolted. Use your tongue to count your teeth. kick her out immediately.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand this long drama, while reading your story, the question I kept asking is why is she still in your house ,are you people not scared ahhn, with all the horrible stories going around. Let her go ASAP.
ReplyDeletePoster, please return that girl home, and before you do that, check her phones, text messages, and make sure she's not been recieving or calling your husband. If your husband's number is on the phone, delete it and destroy that sim. Give her the phone and personally take her back home asap before it's too late.
ReplyDeleteMadam, sorry to say but I dont even trust your hubby with that girl... Let her go quick!!!! A lo rami rami
ReplyDeleteBabe don't waste time again, send her back but in a polite way.thanks
ReplyDeleteAunty why are you sounding 'mumuish'? You don't sound confident at all. Find your lost self esteem and everything will fall in place. Why are you sounding like she's doing you a favor? I didn't say be harsh to househelp, but you need to be more firm. And as for your husband, I reserve my comment.
ReplyDeleteShe’s hard. Get rid of your softness before she chaos in your home.
ReplyDeleteUr husband has collected his own share of the girl o. That's the truth I see here.
ReplyDeleteExperience is the best teacher.... let her leArn her lesson herself cause rn she would be acting according to teenage traits✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️
ReplyDelete1. Stop employing children and expecting them to behave like adults. The average 17 YO body is raging with hormones that make them want to explore the opposite sex, so the help is literally behaving like any 17YO.
ReplyDelete2. Your employee is an employee and should be treated as such not as though she were your child. In your office, even if your oga thought you were always on the phone they wouldn't seize it. So apply the same rules with it.
The mistake you made from the beginning was allowing her use a phone. You should have collected her phone! Now she said she wants to go, let her go befire she puts yoyr hoysehold in trouble or expose you to danger!
ReplyDeleteWhat manner of rubbish is this.my maid respects and fears me dieeee. The way i show her love yet do not take rubbish from her the next second even scares the girl.cameras every nook and cranny of my house and no single phone for any bastard.which phone??? To call who? For what reason? She calls her family every saturday with my phone and all calls are recorded.theres no work in the house for her to do sef just to take care of my kids,wash clean watch tv.goes to one of the best schools around.i got ipads(no sim) for my kids and her and singlehandedly downloaded educative games for them and switch off wifi.i have a time slated for the submission of all ipads on my table after theyv had their play and leisure.she is the MOST OBEDIENT down to earth child of God which her mother handed her over to me and said "my daughter,this one is your sister.take care of her for me.TAAAAA,that my girl will talk back at me for any reason.the way i treat ger ehn...excess love and excess NO NONSENSE OH.madam,pls send that idiot out of ur house and dont ever allow maids use a phone under ur roof.MY HOUSE IS A NO PHONE AREA.i asked my girl to return to the villa after the lockdown and she started crying.MY HOME IS XTRA SWEET oh and my husband does not get involved in i and my maids talk.IM THE MADAM OVER HER,I HIRE AND FIRE ANY MOTHER FACKIN TIME AND E NO CONCERN OGA.Luckily this is the first im having and im glad i set my STRICT RULES even bfr she entered bus to abuja.taaaaaaaaa
ReplyDeleteYou're a good woman. Poster come and learn from experiencd women and how they handle their homes, not the nonsense you're doing there
DeleteWhat manner of rubbish is this.my maid respects and fears me dieeee. The way i show her love yet do not take rubbish from her the next second even scares the girl.cameras every nook and cranny of my house and no single phone for any bastard.which phone??? To call who? For what reason? She calls her family every saturday with my phone and all calls are recorded.theres no work in the house for her to do sef just to take care of my kids,wash clean watch tv.goes to one of the best schools around.i got ipads(no sim) for my kids and her and singlehandedly downloaded educative games for them and switch off wifi.i have a time slated for the submission of all ipads on my table after theyv had their play and leisure.she is the MOST OBEDIENT down to earth child of God which her mother handed her over to me and said "my daughter,this one is your sister.take care of her for me.TAAAAA,that my girl will talk back at me for any reason.the way i treat ger ehn...excess love and excess NO NONSENSE OH.madam,pls send that idiot out of ur house and dont ever allow maids use a phone under ur roof.MY HOUSE IS A NO PHONE AREA.i asked my girl to return to the villa after the lockdown and she started crying.MY HOME IS XTRA SWEET oh and my husband does not get involved in i and my maids talk.IM THE MADAM OVER HER,I HIRE AND FIRE ANY MOTHER FACKIN TIME AND E NO CONCERN OGA.Luckily this is the first im having and im glad i set my STRICT RULES even bfr she entered bus to abuja.taaaaaaaaa
ReplyDeleteYou even wasted time. Why did you have to wait for her to say she's no longer working before you decided to send her away? After exhibiting all those nasty traits, you should have started making arrangements for her departure. You are a patient woman o. May God continue to protect you because this your patience is scary.
ReplyDelete