STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SALUTATION MISUNDERSTANDING
Hello Stella,
Thank you for this platform, it has been of immense help to so many people.
I have a situation at hand that needs your input and that of BVs.
I have an Uncle who last year got married in his early 40s to a lady in her early 20s ( 23 or there about). Before my uncle got married, my younger sister who is 28 has been staying with him and going to work from his house for about a year plus now, my uncle and this my sister are really close.
My mum called on Friday last week and was telling me that my uncle and my sister have been having issues, that he said my sister does not greet his wife, you know, the normal good morning, good afternoon greeting, my sister on her part is insisting that she can't greet her (the wife) because she (my sister) is far older than she is.
I called my sister to try and talk to her but she is adamant, she says she contributes to the best of her ability to the running of the house by bringing some money every weekend, that the fact that my uncle is sheltering her does not mean that she will start greeting someone that she is far older than. She said if my uncle wants her should open his mouth and ask her to leave his house and she will leave.
Please I want to know what you guys think, because my sister will be reading this. Is my sister right by refusing to greet a lady she is 5 years older than, or is she supposed to greet her because she is our uncle's wife?
I have a situation at hand that needs your input and that of BVs.
I have an Uncle who last year got married in his early 40s to a lady in her early 20s ( 23 or there about). Before my uncle got married, my younger sister who is 28 has been staying with him and going to work from his house for about a year plus now, my uncle and this my sister are really close.
My mum called on Friday last week and was telling me that my uncle and my sister have been having issues, that he said my sister does not greet his wife, you know, the normal good morning, good afternoon greeting, my sister on her part is insisting that she can't greet her (the wife) because she (my sister) is far older than she is.
I called my sister to try and talk to her but she is adamant, she says she contributes to the best of her ability to the running of the house by bringing some money every weekend, that the fact that my uncle is sheltering her does not mean that she will start greeting someone that she is far older than. She said if my uncle wants her should open his mouth and ask her to leave his house and she will leave.
Please I want to know what you guys think, because my sister will be reading this. Is my sister right by refusing to greet a lady she is 5 years older than, or is she supposed to greet her because she is our uncle's wife?
*People take greetings differently,some don't care but some do....
If she has to stay in his house,then let her respect him...saying Good morning is no big deal....Is she gonna kneel down to say it?
If she cannot do it then let her leave peacefully before it gets to being asked to leave...You cant be in somebody's house and be claiming seniority with his wife...
Stella has said it all.
ReplyDeleteThere's no big deal.
Nawa o.. So greetings now should also have rules and regulations??? I tire for people and unnecessary dramas sha
DeletePoster I greet even a 3 year old cause it means nothing to me..She should do it cause it shows respect to her uncle..No body said she should dobaale..Just greet and move on..She will not do so, she should leave the house..Respect is reciprocal, it has nothing to do with age..She should stop feeling proud..
DeleteNigerian girls once they're married they assumed they're now older than Methuselah so therefore every single ladies around must bow down before them. Rubbish. For the sake of peace your sis should start greeting her and if she can't deal let her leave that house jejely. If I were in her shoes I will leave that place with immediate alacrity. I can't stand being disrespected.
DeleteIt will not remove a strand of hair from her hair,or reduce her bank account. She should greet and face front. No biggie.
DeleteLet her put herself in the shoes of the lady. If she married into a family where younger than the siblings or cousins of her hubby and maybe one of them comes around or stays with them, will she be comfortable not being greeted? If the relationship between herself and uncle is as it appears, why should just greeting be an issue. i do not get, does she like peace and accept change.
DeleteI am sure the problem is not greetings. Your sister must have been dropping seniority vibes for the wife. I know how older ladies try to treat younger ones they feel compelled to relate with in a respectful manner act. You sister I am sure also drew a line not to be friendly with the wife as per "I have known him longer than you. He is my brother. We are close. I bring in money too".
DeleteYour sister should move and allow a young marriage to thrive biko.
Am sure before marriage the wife use to greet ur sister and might have called her aunty at a point but now she is expecting the greetings from you now,its high time you had left she might see your closeness to her husband differently so devices a means to make you leave
DeleteYour sis can smartly say *sis how was ur nite*? First thing in the morning
DeleteShe mustn't say good morning
Let her just be smart or leave if she has rent cos it won't stop.
The new iyawo is not trying sha. She's ur snr. Just greet her. Carry mrs for head like govt work
@Nigerian First daughter, u dey mind them?
DeleteHow will I see someone older than me and be expecting them to greet me first. Even if I don't greet them, I will never demand that she greets me first.
Rubbish. The thing is even annoying me.
No need to contribute to the running of the home use the same money and move out because see finish Don dey enter
DeleteThe issue is not the sister greeting but the fact that the wife is always waiting to be greeted. Respect is reciprocal biko
Delete@ Nigerian first daughter you are right. You know them very well.
There is one that is married with two children. Happened to be a kid sister to my ex-classmate(friend) on Facebook. She Didn't know I know her. You need to see the way she behaves, I just tire. I greet her always because I am not the one to wait for greeting from someone I am not feeding. But one day I didn't see her coming, I was washing the car. So the way I positioned myself I wouldn't know someone was at my back. This lady just entered without saying hello to me. I knew because I saw her in the car mirror. Fear catch me ehn. To think I have been greeting her since. That was when I realised I have been the only one greeting her since and she has never for once opened her mouth to say hello first. The next time we met she was looking at me waiting for me to greet her like she always does. I was looking at her too. Do You know this lady walked past me? So the only way we would talk was if I said hi first. Since then everyone just dey their dey abeg. Very proud small small wives everywhere
Stell don talk am finish.......
DeleteOver to ya sister.
Salutations is not Love Great her , it will take nothing away from u.
DeleteNigerian first daughter....Very hypocritical people. How can a younger person be wanting greeting from an older person all the time.
DeleteAll these yeye wives. I would have said I was the one who sent this in sef. I was working and got my own place. I helped my my bros get a good job in the same city. So we decided to live together bearing the expenses together. I even did more because he just started working and I have been working for long so my salary was more. He got married and I am naturally a happy go lucky kinda person. I greet everyone even go to neighbours house to greet them if I haven't seen them in a while. I just noticed the wife does not greet. It took me so long to notice because of my nature. Same 5 years difference. I said I willl test her to be sure. How can I be the only one greeting her everyday. The next day she entered. Looking at me. I looked at her too. We started a looking competition when I saw the whole thing has been dragged for too long and I already figured out what I wanted. I just walked away. She knew what she did and before I entered the room she shouted good afternoon but it was too late. It dawned on me she has been waiting to be greeted and receiving greetings from me and I didn't realise it on time. If your sister was her elder sister she would be waiting to be greeted everyday ba?
Anon 15:54 it's rude to ask anyone how their night was. It's better to ask "Hope you slept peacefully or hope you slept well". I don't see any biggie in greetings someone. As a matter of fact I greet both younger and older. Except your Uncle's wife is carrying shoulder... if that's the case. Then she should go get her greetings from the house furnitures and cooking utesils😒
DeleteYour sister is troublesome. It is the mans wife house. If she cannot say good morning then let her leave. Traditionally the woman is even her aunty no matter her age as she is married to her uncle. I am sure even when the wife greets her she will not answer. Pls let her leave.
DeleteChai, I too love myself, I love greeting younger people first and I dont mind, once I see you I say hope you slept well darling etc, pls sister you are still young your own husband will come, pet your brother's wife, when you see her in the morning tease her well with different kinds of greetings eg wifey see as you dey shine this morning etc buy her gifts pray to God to remove every negative feelings you have about her, and watch God help you with all your needs, God Bless you Sis.
DeleteEven my small neighbor expect me to greet her first. I have been doing that and decided to see whether she will greet me first too if I don't greet, she will just pass, I just fashy her with her amebo. Since she decided to watch over the compound for us no problem.
DeletePoster,if your sister can't do it, she should leave the house period to allow peace to reign.
Old singles we know some of you are here commenting anonymous. When una Don tey to marry every married woman becomes an enemy with anything they do.. It happened to you or your sister does not mean it's the same story in this house. If you are an older person and you enter a young persons house will common sense and courtesy not make you greet? Am very sure the aunty has an attitude the husband noticed. Maybe the poor girl even greets her but she will not answer. She should go and marry and flex in her husband's house too. Africans and age mentality. If I was the one as wife dey come I go dey gather money to look for my own house. So you contribute money mean say Wetin? She must have been oppressing the girl with I lived here before you vibes... Ko neccestry abeg. You can just say how are you with a smile and just move if you have no bad Belle.
DeleteThere is big deal please. Does marriage automatically put you above your seniors just cos they are single?
DeleteHow do you even live with uncles, aunties?
Please tell your sister to get her own place. Madam wants her out
Sluttychic.
What will we not read here? How was your night is RUDE ke? Aunty pls explain
Delete18:16, you are a very nasty person. So in that little mind of yours, old singles are not allowed to speak up anymore?
DeleteI wonder the kind of home training you had, you lack sense of respect.
You can drop your comment without talking down on the single ladies here.
You think you are better than the singles?
Even the ones in bad marriages will come here and single shame the unmarried ones. You reek of ignorance.
To all the singles out there, God will bless you with great partners in his time.
Hang in there and let God surprise you.
Sluttychic.
If your uncle's wife had small sense, she will not wait for someone 5 years older than her to always greet her first.
DeleteAnyone can say good morning and how are you this morning first, what is there? This shouldn't be a problem but we lasies are full of unnecessary drama and competition. They already started on a warring note.
18:16 receive sense becos you sound stupid right now. Is marriage a trophy? Do you knw a lot of ladies dont want this marriage of a thing? I had and still have suitors but im rejecting them all. Rich guys oo marriage is not a big deal. You sound like you cant live without a man 🤣 mumu you. My dear pls tell your sister to leave dat house asap and say hello or hi 2 the wife.
DeleteI don’t see the fuss about who greets first 🙄. I think your sister’s contribution to the household expenses is making her entitled in a way. Technically the house is for your uncle and his wife now because they are one.Accord her the respect you would your uncle. Wifey maybe mean but if she isn’t greeting you enough move somewhere else please. Life is not that hard
DeleteEven if your uncle's wife is 12year old courtesy demands she accord her same respect she gives your uncle because of her wife status. She is just being rude and it is wrong
ReplyDeleteThank you Miss Ess well said
DeleteYour sister is wrong on all sides abeg, since she is married to your uncle, it means she is your uncles mate and not her mate whatsoever.
DeleteThere is nothing in greeting sef,some people will greet you with smiles but hate you deep inside.
Let her greet for peace to reign else where the matter go reach, she no go believe am.
Not in every tradition
DeletePoster your sister is proud,if she can't respect your uncle by greeting his wife,she should get her own apartment. Arrogant thing
DeleteWomen and their ish
DeleteThey need to accord each other respect. It should never be a one sided thing.
Delete@ Liz We can also argue and say the wife should show respect to her husband by greeting his sister, right? They need to respect and love themselves.
DeleteI'm surprised that no one is seeing it! All this greet or no greet is merely a smoke screen. Uncle want auntie to leave his house so he can enjoy his marriage in peace. Uncle is trying to avoid auntie reporting the going-ons in his family to their extended family. Poster's sister, I hope that their marriage wasn't sudden? If not, by now you should have made alternative arrangements
DeleteMrs E I think you're right, I know a man who has being paying for an empty mini flat for years that's where he sends all his visitors too, he said he doesnt want anyone monitoring his wife.
DeleteNot necessarily.
DeleteThough the sister should try and leave as she herself would probably also want to have some sense of newness, privacy with her new partner when she gets married.
So, if indeed it is that any one of the couple want her to leave shouldn't cause any bad blood between them.
About the greeting, think about this. If she were older than you would you greet her, or would the story be why would I be greeting her just because she is older than me with 5 years.
Also think on this, if your friend brought such a case to you, you would probably defend the wife if she was your friend, and defend the sister if she was your friend.
This shows that there are really no bad people in this story, no good or bad side. It is just a case of both people putting yourself in the shoes of the other.
The young wife that does not want to be a pushover to her in laws, regardless of how young or old she is.
The sister that does not want to be disrespected in a place that was her " field" before regardless of how old or young she is.
Two people who who will prefer their personal space but bound together by temporarily unchangeable circumstances.
That's just psychological preamble, possible solution.
You brought the issue up here, so
You can start greeting her like you would greet anybody younger than you but you respect.
Iyawo, how was your night
Aburo mi, you are back
A direct good morning won't be bad too if not in respect hinting Yoruba language.
See if she too will not start responding.
Would have suggested you talk to your brother to talk to her, but only if you present it well and he will handle it right.
You also won't want your in-law reports about you to cause trouble for you in your marriage.
I support Miss Ess on this. Greeting her is respecting your uncle.
DeleteI truly don't understand why we have lost basic courtesy as a value. I greet everyone I see, from gate men, to drivers, to receptionists, to area boys. The drivers and security men in my office can do anything for me. D area boys nko, they can kill anyone for me, all I need to do is ask.
Courtesy says you greet people in general, you don't have to be friends with them.
There's no issue here from my own opinion. just that the two parties are forming to be pilot. The wife as the owner of the house and the sister is forming seniority. Women na case, tell your sister to behave like a tenant in that house, respect the lady and the Uncle. Nothing dey there.
DeleteTrue Mrs E. Unnecessary drama. She is your uncle's wife, accord her same respect you would your uncle. What is even in a "good morning"
DeleteAm amazed at you folks, so the roles were changed and say your brother was older than your husband, would it be okay for your brother to greet your husband first 'ALWAYS'?. The point is that respect is reciprocal, for the young wife to always expect greeting is totally wrong, anybody can say hi first and then aunty you that is 28years but won't become independent, see your life? Better move out and save yourself the embarrassment. You are not married and yet you won't allow new couples live alone. The young wife is giving you hint to go and get married or better still give yourself brain and move out.
DeleteThere's no big deal in greeting na, your sister should stop making something out of nothing.
ReplyDeleteGood morning/ Hello etc. There are far more pressing issues than this abeg.
What's there to greet her? I don't know how you people see this greeting of a thing oh. I greet people I'm older than. I don't see it as a big deal.
ReplyDeleteDear sister to poster, please pack your things and leave their house. You can't be a squatter and be forming seniority at the same time. That is her home and anybody in it must greet her as long as you no reach to born her.
DeleteWhatever respect you accord your uncle should be accorded to her. It's not like she's sending you on errands or anything. By the way, someone who's been working for a year should be able to afford a place.
Asin eh I v friends I senior with 5 years yet u will never know. Pple shld grow up pls!
DeleteThere are so many things to consider here and it all boils down to attitude.
DeleteWho greets first isnt an issue but then -does the wife demand for it?
-does she act superior because she's now married and her older sister in law isnt?
In my own opinion, I think she should greet her first and show respect as the uncle requested but she should watch the young brides attitude. If she sees that the girl becomes rude or quite disrespectful, she should swiftly and quietly make her exit...
I Even add sir/ma to people I'm obviously older than,sister is PETTY!!
DeleteI have a friend they dont greet each other formally when they wake, they just wake themselves and say their prayers and gist,very lovely family but I have never heard them say good morning, sometimes they will even wake up early and just start gisting before prayers.so it's not a big deal to everyone.
DeleteIt's not a big deal to me. I sabi greet wella oh.
DeleteIf your sister can't maintain peace with the new wife just because she's older than her, she should pack herself out of there.
ReplyDeleteShe can't be disrespectful because he contributed to running of the house.
Abi o
DeleteThank u Don. As long as u are not older than ur uncle courtesy demand u accord his wife the same respect u accord him even if he is married to 18yrs old.
DeleteYour Uncle's wife is supposed to be the one (not just) greeting but pampering your sister
ReplyDeletePampering her because she's a baby.
DeleteWhy?? Cos I’m your mind the man has done her favour by getting married to her?? Why are Africans like this? What has she to do with greetings??
DeleteSays who? I as a person even greet random people i don't no. Big or small. It's this same rubbish my inlaws wanted to start with me,i showed them the door. Pamper her for what exactly
DeletePampering her for what exactly, are you thinking at all ?
DeleteYour Uncle's wife is supposed to be the one (not just) greeting but pampering your sister
ReplyDeleteExactly. The lady is disrespectful. I always greet my sil first even though I'm far older than her.
DeleteYou dont say.
DeleteAnyway poster said her sister would be reading too so You are probably the sister
@ Anonymous, calm down Love, I ain't Poster's sister. Just a BV
DeleteMe i even greet children and people that am far older than
ReplyDeleteIt will not cost her anything to greet...i understand how she feels,but for the fact that she's staying in your uncle's house, please she should try and respect him..... except she's ready to leave his house
Life is not that serious my dear... just greet and keep it moving
Same thing here
DeleteHonestly.
DeleteI even greet people older than me sometimes.
Poster please tell your sister to move out of the house... it’s high time she moved to her own space. Your uncle is married...he needs to enjoy marital bliss with his bride and Its only fair he takes his wife’s side and not your sister’s. Maybe eventually he will start seeing things equally from both sides, but for now his loyalty should be with his wife. They need some space.
My take? She should rent her own apartment. This will not end well.
ReplyDeleteIt is better for her to live the house for peace sake. She would have not expirence this, if she live the time he married.
ReplyDeletethank you @radiant D some people don't know when to give someone space
DeleteThe uncle's sister is older than the wife and will naturally not want to greet wifey, pls quietly leave. If not you will bring problems for the couple and yourself.
ReplyDeletePls leave, do that you cab still enjoy some relationship with them. The uncle is married. The same respect she accords your uncle should be accorded to the wife regardless.
Ur uncle should shop her from contributing in his house for Gods sake 2. She should look for her own accommodation before she is told to leave .
ReplyDeleteThere can be only one captain on a ship nah !
Hope your sister and your uncle are not shagging sha. I don't see she should be upset about greetings
ReplyDeleteMust you people’s mind go to something bad, everybody cannot be immoral abeg. Every time, shagging, sex, is that all you people do?
DeletePrettiest rose dont mind them, their body is dustbin and think same of others.
DeleteWhat is your mum's position on this issue? What's your uncle's stance too? That the wife is younger does not mean she should be disrespected irrespective of the fact that the wife is contributing or not.
ReplyDeleteFor peace to reign, let one person greet good morning & the other person greet first in the afternoon.
Jesus fix it 🙏
You dey person house dey claim rights... O girl, go your side go do that one!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all this post will go south...
ReplyDeleteQuestion...why did your uncle marry her 'daughter'? Why can't this old men marry their age mates or atleast close range in age?...this is just child abuse(to me)... and I believe if a man marries at this age especially to her 'granddaughter' or 'daughter' in the name of wife, something is definitely wrong with him, and this is my 2cents.
Your sister should jejeli leave that house and go get married. You cant live in another man's house and be flexing muscle.
Your first paragraph is off point Biko. She's an adult and old enough to make her decision
DeleteWhat do you mean by her uncle marrying his daughter?
DeleteShe is 23years old! She's old enough to start her own family and marry whomever she chooses to marry.
What matters is she's in peace and in love in her matrimonial home.
My man could be 99 but as long as I'm treated right!
DeleteThere's no big deal about their age Gap.
Their age gap is okay. The wife is not a baby, a 23yr old can make decisions.
DeleteNo mind those old men that love young girls they can control, he couldn't look for a lady in her 30s, sister pls look for your own house and leave them alone, people always think being married means you must do away with your family, if something happens tomorrow and the sister dont show up people will still say the family is wicked,yeye people.
DeleteNa wah oh! To greet again na war? It doesn't take anything to that regardless of the age as far as I'm concerned! Forget her age and greet her if she doesn't,it shows you ain't matured too..she's your uncle's wife and that you should give some respect to his wife either she's a smallie or not! You greeting her doesn't remove any strand from your hair nor does it devalue you! This is none issue abeg!
ReplyDelete@paris please we have to consider the Op's sister perception of greetings before concluding.,it is not a big deal for you doesn't mean it's suppose to be the same for her.. As it is now greeting is a huge deal for her and so my advice will be for her to respectfully move out of that house.
DeleteTo me greetings in nothing, but what I hate its when only person is always be the one to greet the other... I leave with my hubby cousin that I senior for 7-8 years and she do greet me every day but any day I comes out of my room before her, I do knock at her door to greet her too. No big deal.
ReplyDeleteIf your uncle's wife is the one greeting your sist every day, let your sister be the first to greet her some day... It is not part of the duty of the wife to be greeting her every day. In a nutshell let the greetings be vice versa shikenan....
God Bless you for accepting your husband's family.
DeleteYour sister can senior the entire clan of that household but the fact that your uncle married that girl means your sister needs to respect his wife or she should leave. Bcos you are bringing weekly money you now think that it's ok not to greet the madam of the house? The 23yr old girl attitude might not be the best but that does not change the fact that she is now uncle's wife.by the way,why leave with a newly married couple? Let your sister read everyone's comment on this blog so she knows what other people think. Is just like me saying bcos I am contributing to a company,my oga that is the CEO that is 10yrs younger than me will now come and I will not greet bcos I am older than him? Hmmmmm your sister is on the wrong here o.ordinary greeting o
ReplyDeleteYour sister likes trouble and your uncles wife also likes trouble. Both of them living in the same house, is a disaster waiting to happen. Ask your sister to leave that house before it degenerates into a full blown family quarrel...
ReplyDeleteYou are right, that wife too will be getting advise from outside, when my neighbour married this same scenario played out,people started saying she should not live with a newly wed, she should give them space and bla bla cousin living with him had to leave, the lady later got married to a very wealthy man and moved to a 7 bedroom house, she invited all of us former neighbours to her Thanksgiving, would you believe her uncle couldn't pay rent for 2 years and was ashamed to beg his cousin and he was later thrown out and some of our yeye neighbours started calling the girl to allow her uncle and his wife stay with her forgetting she too now needs her privacy as a newly wed, she had to come bail them out and paid the 2 years rent and 1yr upfront.
DeleteShe should get on a head start by greeting the man's wife or get set to leave his house without being embarrassed out
ReplyDeleteYou respect your uncle's wife the same way you respect your uncle cos they are 1
ReplyDeleteShe is not the one you are respecting but your uncle.
Respecting your uncle's wife should lead to "slavery" There is always problem when one person is the first to greet everyday. I think your uncle is simply telling your sister to leave and she should without delay and avoid visiting that house except it's absolutely necessary
DeleteThe uncle wife too should respect herself. How can one person be greeting everyday? I greet small children too without waiting for them to greet me first. But when I notice someone is waiting, you will wait tire.
DeleteFor the uncle to make it an issue it is obvious the wife is waiting.
Poster and her sister up here. Una welcome.
DeleteDon please I am not tthe poster and her sister in Jesus name. Amen. I am who God created and wants me to be. I am myself Thank you
DeleteThis Don.Judging by your low reasoning you are the husbandd in this story then. Well done oo
DeleteYou're the sister @ 18:48
DeletePack your ass out of the house 🤣
E pain you.
Don always talking like man wey him prick no dey stand. Tueh.🤮
DeleteYou will be the husband in Jesus name don. I reject being the sister or the poster.razz man.
DeleteYou are hurt everyone can see through the man and his wife.
I don't understand ,is it that the wife will first see her and not say good morning but expect her to say good morning first. The wife should at least say good morning to her since she's older or she's claiming uncle wife😊Oya tell your sister to Greet her saying good morning will not reduce her bank account .SMZ.
ReplyDeleteYour uncle and his wife are one. Same respect she gives your uncle should be given to his wife too.
ReplyDeleteShe is your uncles wife not her younger sister.
Who knows, she might even be ordering her in the house too to prove her seniority.
Even if she is d one feeding both id them, the wife is still the 2nd in command. Not
And she should leave that house and allow the couple enjoy themselves and marriage in peace
I stayed with my cousin too while in Lagos , he got married to a rude lady who I’m a year older than but the fact that they’re giving me accommodation at that time I became her house girl infact I use eh and ma for her while she calls me by name and even command me but at that time it was just the hope of where I’ll be in life that kept me going. Let me shock you guys she’s not using ma for me and forming bestie as per when I was hustling they fed and accommodated which is TRUE .. so in short since your sister is still dependent on them she has to give respect to both the husband and wife or she LEAVES...
ReplyDeleteWhy should you use ma for someone you're older than in the first place? Most times, 'we by ourself' allow people to treat us the way they do.
DeleteShe is not dependent on them. She does her own part in the house. Read again.
DeletePoster you both should respect yourselves.you are both adults.
That doesnt mean cos u spend 10k buying food items that u also eat u become madam in someone house
DeletePersonally I see no big deal in greeting your uncle's wife, I personally have an uncle,
Deletewhose wife I'm also 7years older than. When I walk up in the morning whenever I visit them, I don't call her by name, I call her by her child's name, I greet her good morning and ask her how her night went, I proceed to help her with little house chores I can do and return back to my room. Even when I receive hubby younger cousins as guest, I greet them too and we all go about our daily activities.. So you want her to be greeting you as per senior wife or what.. My dear be humble.
The way some people put emphasis on greeting. Greeting is no love!
ReplyDeletePoster your sister should read the writing on the wall. It seems like they want her out. 23 year old wife demanding for greeting from her senior? Something is missing. They could be using the greeting to look for it.
Poster if your sister can't manage then let find some other shelter.
There is nothing missing, let her accord the wife the same respect she accords her uncle or better still get her own place and give the new couple privacy
DeleteWhy is the wife waiting to be respected? Respect is earned not given. The wife should respect herself first by not demanding to be greeted. If she was waiting to be greeted she won't suspect nobody greeted her.
DeleteThe wife is superior to her in this case, if she can’t b greeting let her leave Nikon and allow the couple enjoy themselves before the matter will escalate and become something else. Can’t she say ‘hi dear ‘ she doesn’t even v to say good morning. See eh na d wife get house na she b tenant aunty do btr or comot . I’m sure with Time d wife will b greeting her first all this childish matters sef . Smh
ReplyDeletePoster, I don't see anything wrong in greet good morning, afternoon, good evening or welcome back first!
ReplyDeleteSimple courtesy demands that we greet people whether they are older or younger than us, it doesn't matter.
Your sister should greet her aunty (uncle's wife) and let peace reign. When she moves to her own house, she should set her greeting rules.
I remember the short time I spent with one of my uncles, his wife would always want to greet me in the morning, (she's older than me with fee years) I also reciprocated by greeting her first whenever I see her first. Its just good morning and it doesn't take nor add anything to us.
Life is too short to be having issues with frivolities like; who greeted first and who greeted last.
Pls let your sister calm down, I understand her own take, but then let her see it that by greeting the wife, she is just showing respect to ur uncle not the wife, 2. if the table should turn will she greet or feel disrespected, just as the girl or ur uncle s feeling now? Wisdom is profitable pls, let her greet biko.
ReplyDeleteGreetings becoming a problem? Nawao! What's the big deal sef?😩
ReplyDeleteWhen will Nigerians get it right? It's not by seniority o. Please greet or better still get your own apartment and allow them enjoy their new home.
Nigerians carry entitlement in everything including greetings...it's so annoying.
Your sister should better have sense and do the greetings
ReplyDeleteThe sister sef no dey shame🤔🤔🤔 yeye dey smell
ReplyDeleteWhat will it cost her just to greet, pride leads to a downfall.
ReplyDeleteI feel your sister feels she cannot respect your uncle's wife and that is wrong. Either way, this will not end well and I like it that your uncle is standing up for his wife else your sis will use attitude to intimidate the young lady.
ReplyDeleteMy elder sister was in your sis inlaw shoes when she got married newly. She met his relatives in that house and all were older than her. Some were respectful while others were not. Some even confronted her about not seeing them and why she didn't greet them. Next thing is, this is my brother's house, we were relating well before you came and all that. Eventually, they still ended up renting an apartment and they all moved there. Some still found a way to get at her whenever they met.
Pls poster, let your sis quietly leave your uncles house. Not because she contributes to the running of the house that she will disrespect his wife on top.
Your sister is either fucking your uncle or has no iota of respect for him cos if she does,shel respect his wife even if shes old enough to give birth to her.
ReplyDeleteThis is what you could come up with? SMH.
DeleteSluttychic.
Why are the ladies becoming rivals?
ReplyDeleteGood morning isn't a big deal nao,haha
She should get her own apartment because the wife can't leave for her
I don't get,both ladies see each other every morning and walk pass?
Both of them get for body sef abi there's more to this greeting ni
Sorry ooh
ReplyDeleteWhy has nobody asked if the new wife greets the sister too
You see ehn Women would always enage in power struggle in their home once they hsense a third party
Poster, How was the relationship btw the wife and your sister before the wedding
Abi is this ot this blog that frowwns at third party living with new couples
My advise,
I think they need to bond and know themselves better if she doesnt want to move out
She can utter good morning our wife , it doesnt remove anything from her
OAP ADA
Thank you I have asked too. Blog visitor just hear wife and they start to show support anyhow. It is obvious the wife doesn't greet her and waits for the sister to donate greetings to her every morning. The best is for your sister to leave that house. Today is greeting, tommorow may be that your sister did not wash her plate.
DeleteThe best bonding they can have is by the posters sister moving out of the house. No newlywed will be happy squatting an in-law that has no exit plan. To me, that's the crux of it. Besides, you don't know what your uncle must have told his wife in private. I guess he may be the instigator who wants your sister to leave his house but does not outrightly want to say it(it happened to a friend of mine). He's merely hiding behind his wife's skirt(I don't know why many men do this). He's thinking that your sister should use her initiative to leave but since she's acting dumb, let her stay and watch them accuse her of not doing dishes, mopping the house, taking more than one meat from the pot. A word is enough.....
DeleteMrs E your sense too much, you have spoken well but let's not conclude.
DeleteThe issue here isn't age of the sister or the other lady being a wife to the uncle. The issue here is pride. But your sister and your uncles wife are very proud people. How do you know someone isn't greeting you? If not that you were waiting to be greeted in the first place. The one who sees the other first should be the one to greet. She knows you aren't greeting her because she expects and waits to be greeted while you on the other hand too is waiting to be greeted. Two proud people. I think it goes beyond greetings anyway and it's more of the wife not appreciating you live with them.
ReplyDeleteIf I were you there is something I would do. I would greet her for one week straight then stop and see if she would reciprocate but if after that she still carries her shoulder then her pride na follow come. Let's be honest guys. Only one person cannot be doing the whole greeting while the other just sits and expects to be worshipped all the time. If I greet someone all the tone and I see they don't make the same effort I bounce. What isee here is the lady wants to turn it to your day job of greeting her always without reciprocating. I may be wrong but if she greets you back after you have done the same for that whole week without waiting for your greetings first then you guys just show love to another. Sometimes your children do not greet you first. If you see them first you say morning during and they sat good morning mummy.
Exactly.... 100 likes
DeleteNice one.
DeleteLet her greet the girl or leave. No big deal in greeting younger ones o. she shouldn't have allowed it come to this. If she had respected her, that young girl may have even given her more respect in response. She contributes money but she's not the woman of the house now. This is a small matter, no need to sweat it.
ReplyDeletePoster tell your sister to pack out if she can't greet.
ReplyDeleteLol. Her own is better. My senior brother married my student. The girl I taught while she was in secondary school. At first, I was like 👀 how do I even grit her or talk to her. Though, she gives me my own respect and I can decide to grit her first. Wetin gritng wan add to person life abegi!!! The sister can leave if she want and she should scatter the uncle’s marriage.
ReplyDeleteSorry o...you're a teacher ? I thought it's 'greeting' and not grit...anyways, well done
DeleteAmethyst. Did she tell she is an English teacher? What if she teaches languages?
DeletePlease tell your sister that wisdom is key in issuing like this,from the day ur uncle married her,the have become one so the respect should will give to ur uncle, she should accord thisame respect to the wife, it doesn't matter the age difference for peace to rain.she can just say wify good morning,it doesn't take away the fact that she is the Senior one here,with time the girl will start greeting first,then she should start looking for accommodation cos if times like greeting can cause issue,it means bigger issues are still ahead.
ReplyDelete*with Time the girl will start greeting first* this here is hilarious. Why is the girl waiting to be greeted first,is the question everyone has refused to answer.
DeletePoster get your own place.
Let your sister just get her own place.
ReplyDeleteYour sister should calm down cos the house belong to the uncle and his wife. Good morning, afternoon or evening won't kill anyone. This shouldn't even be an issue in the first place. If she respect your uncle, let her start greeting his wife irrespective of the age difference/even if the wife won't respond well.She won't live in that house forever. She and the young wife may later become friends sef.
ReplyDeleteGreeting is the issue?? Poster tell your sis to show maturity and greet her ist for sometime, and see if she will reciprocate. then if she feels she can, t continue, fine, .while at University, I had a roommate who gets angry if and when I greet Assumed' younger ones, I had to school her that greeting has absolutely nothing to do with age. With time she adjusted!!but you see that your uncle will soon be hypertensive, how a forty year old goes to marry a girl of 23years ,does she have daddy issues!! Though we have some sensible 23year old(s). This one seem to be from the other stock!! Your uncle now has a wife and daughter all in one!! Make una manage am!
ReplyDeleteDoes this 23 year old wife wait for her senior siblings to greet her in her fathers house (if she has elder siblings)? Why are women like this? She got married and all of a sudden she is SHE that must be greeted. If only the wife knows how that flat is run!)
ReplyDeleteAnd the man that wants his younger wife to be greeted by her senior, take it easy. Love is not the only marriage requirement.
Nothing in greeting everyone irrespective of age but some folks are not like that and take these kind of things personal.
Thank you...i am more surprised at peoples responses. They always say marriage is not an achievement blah blah bla, but here dey are supporting that the senior greets the junior first because the junior is married. Meaning you all agree that being married makes you superior to your counterparts that are not
DeleteNo mind them, double faced people.
DeleteRainbow, me sef, I'm in shock. Nothing wrong in greeting her first if she wants to but to claim someone that is older than her by far by far should greet first, all because of marriage????? Haba.
DeleteIt's like one of my husband's older cousins coming to stay with us now and I will be now expecting them to greet me???? Haba na. Make we dey try reason these things well.
Make una shut up. It is not about saying marriage is superior. She is the squatter in that house and should be the one to greet first. In your father's house is it everytime you wait for your younger ones to greet you first in the morning? This has nothing to do with marriage being an achievement. It's obvious this aunty carry age for head and unnecessarily proud even as a squatter
Delete😘😘😘😘
DeleteYou are contradicting yourself 18:38. You said "is it everytime you wait for your younger ones to greet you first in the morning?" This shows You believe it is not sensible to greet first all the time. Then you still went to write "She is the squatter in that house and should be the one to greet first." You don't believe in greeting first always yet you advice the poster's sister should greet the wife first. You really need to take your advice by shutting your mouth.
DeletePoster, tell ur sister to leave the house.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, that wife will use her eyes to see whin. If she can't greet someone older than her and waits for the person to greet her first, that's just a little piece of what is waiting for her in that house.
I believe your sis should also try to greet first from time to time but I guess she's seen that the wife doesn't also greet her.
She should jejely leave that house or she will be frustrated out of the house.
Thank you Eka! My people greetings is a huge deal to some people o,so lets tackle this issue judiciously
DeletePoster I agree with Eka, tell your sister to start preparing to leave that house, so that the great relationship she has with your uncle won't spoil. She should pack out of that house ASAP .
Delete👌🏽👌🏽
DeleteWe are all different for some it's a big deal while to others it is nothing.
It summarily cost nothing to be cordial.
The day your uncle married that young lady,every respect given to your uncle is also extended to her.
ReplyDeleteWhat is greeting sef?
It dosent remove or add anything to you.
If she can't respect the wife let her move out.
It dosent matter who greets first.
You are smart... Call me😎😎😎😎
DeleteI leave with my blood brother and he has a fiancee who currently leaves in the house,p.s she met me in the house as well, the gal can be uncouth at times am much older than her by the way but because i care about the relationship i have with my brother i greet her, whenever shes in the kitchen and i step in i assist her to wash the dishes clean the gas. see it does not remove a hair on my skin. For the sake of the relationship she has with your uncle she should look past of these trivial stuff. Its not easy but staying there is convenient for her and she wont be there forever.
ReplyDeleteAnd what does this wife of your brother do In return? Respect others but make sure you are also respected. Stop enabling uncouth ways.
DeleteYou're also encouraging her uncouth behaviour
DeleteI also live with my blood brother but if I don't greet the wife first, she won't greet me. But basically she ignores me and only talks nicely to me when she needs something from me which she does from time to time. I never ask her anything in return. She is older than me by one year. She met me in the house before she got married to him . I always try to assist in the kitchen and I always contribute to the upkeep of the house. She doesn't appreciate whatever I do. Not that I mind, it just can be frustrating at times. I would have left but I don't have much on me yet to be able to afford an apartment. I pray God answers my prayer on time. Being single and staying in someone's house is not easy even if it's your sibling especially once they are married.
DeleteDefine uncouth cos the rubbish you will tolerate from your siblings you will kill another person pickin for. Truth is living in someone's house no easy. You at least are being mature because you know you will not stay long.
DeleteIt is even a fiancee not wife given you attitude. Be taking nonsense behaviour there thinking you will get accolades.
DeleteClarity don't mind this anon trying to play with your brain. As old as you are, you won't know the meaning of uncouth ba? If you say she is uncouth based on how you claim you relate with her then uncouth she is.
DeleteThe same way the rubbish the young wife cannot try with her elder sister she is trying it with her husband's sister. How about that anon?
Am not doing this for any accolades but most importantly for my own sanity, life is already hard as it is, where i reside should be my sanctuary and i will do everything within my power to keep the peace even if it means playing the fool. Imagining always walking into a house with malice left right and center. I dont have energy for gbas gboos abeg, everybody should do what works for them.
DeleteWomen! 😂
ReplyDeleteMy dad taught me that if you put two women under same roof,
the roof will have holes. Even if they are two sisters.
They will be playing as kid playmates, but once puberty sets in
expect the roof to cave in. 🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️
Your dad is wrong, if you put one evil minded person in a house their will be problems, I have had girlfriends hang out with me for weeks at home, before they wake I have cleaned and made breakfast and we have had no issues,i was brought up to wake up early,pray,shower, go to work or return to bed if I have nothing doing. The thing is tolerance. It may even be the Uncle that is causing the problem, a friend of mine complained about the brother's fiancee not eating her food and.not greeting not knowing it was the brother who gave the girl the instruction, it was when the girl dumped him and explained her reasons that they found out their brother was double faced.
DeleteBabe it's no big deal. For how many seconds in a day do u see them. Your sister is the first daughter I believe and is used to too much respect but she can greet and let it be. This world is small. Very soon she ll be married and also demand respect. First daughters usually have this problem and it's not a good trait.
ReplyDeleteMy dear eh, the chronicle reminds me of my landlady, she should be 23 or so.. When they started dating, she calls me Aunty and greets me and hubby plenty times whenever she visits him.. Mind u, my hubby and our landlord are so close eh.. Pple always admire their friendship..
ReplyDeleteFrom dating, they eventually got married.. This girl all of a sudden stopped greeting my hubby and I... She waits for us to greet her first. But me I no send gan.. I greet her wella but hubby refused to..
The husband noticed it and in our presence scolded the wife for doing such but she just hissed and left us.
See small girl wey I senior wella.
We didnt know how we have offended her. Even the husband came to apologize to us.
I just mind my business abeg.. I stopped greeting her biko and face my front. But I always greet the husband and he does same to us.
Exactly, how would i start greeting someone i am much older than first simply because the person is married. All these people saying its just greeting, would not take it oo
DeleteRainbow They can never take it. Brothe's wife did something and I overlooked it.always greeting her Only for her to go to her Brothers house and complain about the same thing I tolerated from her. She almost killed her brother's wife with disrespect. Pot calling kettle black. My sibling was just 3 years older while her brother was 12 years older then her, and his wife was even older than him and my sister in law. But she showed the her brother's wife who was older than her pepper, always wanting that one to greet her first and even kneel. They can dish it but can't take It.
DeletePoster they would never support you becasue most are hypocrite. Just move out of the house. Simple!!!
GCN I pray you people move to your own house cause that wife so na small winch in the making, she would soon start planting seeds in the husband's mind. They must have advised her to be wicked to her tenants so they won't take her for granted but she won't know that it is demonic advise she is following
DeleteExactly what I would do. I don't have time for such nonsense. Who the hell are you?
DeleteSo I should greet you first cos you are landlords wife 😂😂😂😂 don't I pay my rents?
People like that never imagined they would get married, so when they finally do, they feel they have arrived and they lose their sense of respect.
Sluttychic.
Both your sister and your uncle’s wife are splitting hairs unnecessarily. But if I must say, your uncle’s wife has a bigger issue. What’s wrong greeting someone older than you? I feel she is just doing that to show your sister her level in her home and to that I say, let your sister leave. From greeting, it will extend to other things. I sincerely doubt your uncle’s wife is a peaceful person.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this. The wife in question has attitude problem.
DeleteShe's not. The wife has serious attitude problem.
DeleteSluttychic.
Haba..your sister is in the woman's house whether she is 15 or 20 yrs,it is her house!. And whats up with greeting her,its no big deal abeg. I greet my lil nephews in the morning with kisses " kamsy good morning,did you sleep well" subconsciously. Abeg your sis has issues.She should leave before she brings quarrel between the couple
ReplyDeleteUr uncle's wife automatically becomes u aunt even if u are 100 years older than her. If u can not greet her same way u greet ur uncle, kindly get ur place to avoid family war that is already cooking up.
ReplyDeleteYoir sister should get her own apartment and let the couple have their privacy since greeting is a big problem for her. Mtchewwww
ReplyDeleteIf your sister can,let her leave their house.
ReplyDeleteIt's obvious that the wife doesn't want her in that house.
That wife lacks manners, she just entered what will it cost her to greet someone older?
I know some cultures that even if she is older than the husband's siblings she dare not call their names. Come be ordinary greetings..
Women should learn to choose their battles, this single act can turn the family against her.
Your sister should leave their house if she can afford to for the sake of peace
Na family wen no first get sense this kin thing go turn.. Whether she likes it or not, na where the Uncle stand for family na there e wife stand. So forget matter, make she go marry her own husband and she better no marry last born ooo, because na there the greetings finish😂😂😂😂 women just like to dey look for issue when there is none😀😀😀
DeleteExactly, i am taught to greet elders first, so the wife is definitely disrespectful at just 23yrs of age.
DeleteAs long as the lady is older than her,the wife should give her her due respect.Sorry to say,children of nowadays are so disrespectful,its alarming.Once ,they have a boufriend or carry expensive big phones around, respect becomes far from them.Even worse are ones that got married early,haaaa,na those ones worse pass.Respecting your elders is gradually phasing out with this generation.
ReplyDeleteLmao 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 very annoying o. It's well.
DeleteSluttychic.
Wow!!! I sincerely feel bad for single women living in Nigeria. So according to most of you, a 28 year old woman should be the first to greet a 23 year old just because 23 year old is married to a 40 year old? No wonder the average Nigerian married woman treats her single counterpart as scum. Will the new wife treat her like that if she were a man?
ReplyDeleteA 23 year old demanding to be greeted by a 28 year old because of ring?! And most here are supporting her? Chai!!! No wonder the average Nigerian woman wants to die in marriage.
Poster, tell your sister to respect herself and move out. Uncle needed her in the house to do the wifely chores and now that there is a wife, she's no longer needed. She should read the handwriting on the wall. Is it when the wife outrightly humiliates her that her brain will reset? Abeg, get your place, thank your uncle for accommodating you and move out! They don't want you with them anymore.
God, please help we single ladies to be able to afford our own place and take care of our needs so we are not humiliated by our juniors just because we don't have a ring yet.
Thank you. Exactly what I said up there. Marriage makes some people feel superior.
DeleteFine, it's wife's home but it's obvious she's making life unbearable for the posters sister. As a house owner, create a peaceful environment and earn your dues
Clearly, wifey is proud and expects the posters sister to worship her.
Poster, your sister should get her own place, no matter how small.
That's how they do o 😂😂😂😂 some of the married ones look down on the single ones...rubbish.
Amen to your prayer dear anon.
Sluttychic
It will shock you this has nothing to do with African and marriage mentality.. Even oyibo, if you come live in my house I will set the rules. If not in greeting Like African kill for it is in another area
DeleteLoud it! Very double faced people, let me see anybody that would come here tommorow and say marriage is not an achievement, i would remind them of this chronicle how they supported a 28yrs old unmarried to be greeting a married 23yrs old first
DeleteOne of the reasonable replies. Tomorrow they will be the very ones complaining of how they were direspected and discriminated against because of their unmarried status. Keep supporting nonsense forming I greet babies. Inukwa elevated status and courtsey demands. When you are married like the 23yr old, where I am from, courtsey demands you greet your elders irrespective of their marital status. If for some reason you decide to be rude, fine. I doubt anyone will disturb you but don't mumu yourself to start reporting nonsense demanding to be greeted by those older than you.
DeletePoster, tell your sis to leave cos this one is small. For the 23 yr old and her hubby to make this an issue, let her know that greeting won't bring peace and more insults are in front.
Ada.
Thank you for this comment .
Delete@poster, I can see all your analysis to portray that your sister is older and was there b4 your uncle's wife but you forgot that greeting her is just giving respect to your uncle. Marriage has brought the 'small girl' and your uncle together so her age does not really matter. Also, permit me to peep through your sister's mind - it may not really be good morning/afternoon/evening but she seem to be looking down on her uncle's wife simply b/c she knows she's younger - believe me, if she wakes up and asks her 'how are you, my wife? I hope you slept well', or tells her 'welcome, our wify', when she comes back home, there might not have been any issue. Also, can your sister prove that everyone she greets on the road, at work, in church, at occasions, etc are older than she is?
ReplyDeleteIf she feels she's insisting on 'her right' then she should have left before the 'small girl' comes to live with her husband. She should stop using emotional blackmail on her uncle - she wants him to tell her to leave so that she will carry news to her parents that uncle did this or that? She should respect herself and rent her own apartment now that issue is just greeting because more are coming, trust me.
Mrs E, you are on point jare. She is too proud! Accord the 23 year old the respect she deserves. Whether she leaves and gets her apartment or not, she still has to accord her that respect. If she got married to an older man in the future, will she accept to be treated any less by her in-laws who are older than she is?
DeleteWhat your sister did not see that girl of 23 knows how it looks like so she is in her house ,your sister should either greet her first or leave their house infact today,good radiance to bad rubbise
ReplyDeleteYou are not well. what if she's in her house? Is that enough to not respect her senior?
DeleteE hard to greet your junior sha, but saying good morning means nothing. But let her leave the house, she would have done so before he got married.
ReplyDeleteDear poster,your sister is not wise at all,wisdom is profitable to direct,let's take it this way,I know the moment your sister met her uncle's wife,their "blood no jam"so this will naturally brew strife and pride between them,if your sis was wise and observant she could have handled it well from the onset by loosening up and pretending there's no bad blood in order for peace to reign by greeting her how was your night?welcome o,throwing one or two talks at her,but mba pride won't let una two see road now e Don escalate,pls start planning to pack out asap for your peace and sanity sake,you just created enemity with ur uncle's wife for no reason you should have showed her you are the bigger person here by according ur uncle respect n love towards her,she felt intimidated and insecured by your presence,you should have handled thistwith love and maturity and your uncle's wife would have loosened up to you,you messed up,learn from your mistakes....
ReplyDeleteYour uncle's wife is too blame too,she needs alot of growing up to do,life doesn't end in MRS.she should learn to greet and respect her elders for her own good!!
Poster I hope pride will let you eat humble pie,just do as I say up there👆stylishly while u plan your leaving asap,be sure to leave in peace!!peace
This is my opinion and suggestion, firstly, poster please kindly tell your sister to move out and rent her own apartment, when people are married it is always good to give them space, you can't continue to live with someone forever regardless of being a relative, for her own respect she should rent an apartment and pay her bills if she has work/source of income, but if you don't have then go and live with your parent, she need to respect married couple's space. Secondly, greeting is not a sign that the greeter is younger than the other person, greeting is an expression of goodwill/good wish, it can come from older person to younger person and vice versa, as a matter of fact, it makes you polite. Say Good morning, Good afternoon or Good evening to anyone regardless their age.
ReplyDeleteYour sister has an attitude and am sure giving I am your senior vibes to the wife. She might not have liked her from when your uncle was dating her. She is now a wife in that house and you must accord her respect. Am sure your uncle has also noticed other things she does to his wife.. This might even be more than just saying good morning to each other. Another woman has come to challenge your closeness to your uncle abi? It won't take you anything to even call her by name and say how are you if you don't want to say good morning. Na you dey squat for person house na you carry seniority for head. Yes I know some women can carry am married on their head but in this case we don't know if this girl is like that. Just respect yourself and carry on till you marry or get your own house.
ReplyDeleteMy question is what is your sister sti doing in your uncle's house? Tell your sister to go and get her own and allow this couple to enjoy their marriage. I don't care if she brings money to the house or not. Let her use that money and go and rent a place, and allow this young girl enjoy her marriage.
ReplyDeleteGoing by the Yoruba Tradition, your sister is meant to accord your uncle's wife the same respect she give your uncle. The wife also is to respect her as an in-law (mama oko). You can never disrespect your in-law.Never!
ReplyDeleteWhile your sister cannot call her by her name,the wife too must learn to be humble. How do you go to live with another family and can't greet. Who trained her? What impression is she giving. Your sister isn't going to stay with them forever,so what is the stress? Even if your sister leaves on a bad note,years to come,your uncle will still blame his wife for being the cause.
The Yorubas say 'we would not call a cow brother simply because we want to eat beef'. They also say ' Call a madman my in-law so he will allow you do your thing in peace'. If I were your sister,I will choose the later except of course she has a fall back plan.
Your sister shouldn't greet her. That is married doesn't mean she is superior. if she can afford to rent a a mini flat, let her move out peacefully.
ReplyDeleteEven if she greets her, more insults will still come.
All this greet or no greet matter sef. I don’t care for greeting and I don’t greet anybody jare,
ReplyDeleteOk make we settle this matter once and for all. Regina Daniels is 19 years old BUT I'm sure in her house all the oldies dey great her. Even one minister greeted her and bowed(which was ridiculous of course), but my point is... it's the woman's house even if she is 12 yrs old. Quite frankly though, poster's sister needs to move out..if she feels some type of way
ReplyDeletePoster, advise your sister to be as nice as possible whilst planning to leave ASAP.
ReplyDeletePlease let’s respect their marriage and privacy first, if greeting is an issue then their would be more issues in future.
Nigerians attach undue importance with greetings and respect
ReplyDeleteWhen you wake up in the morning, greet everyone you see
Hello, how are you?
Good morning
Hi
Or
Don't greet at all
Do you eat greetings?
Poster, tell your sister to move out
She has overstayed her welcome
Please people try and read the room
Know when to stay, know when to leave
Whether she met you there or not, she is now the wife
Respect it
Focus on yourself and ignore certain things
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Is your sis jealous? What has age got to do with greeting. She is married to your jncle and you are living in her house. So please learn to take life simple abeg....you dey go husband house too. Greet her and be friendly with her...no big deal
ReplyDeletewhat is with all you fustrated single bitches saying women dey carry mrs for head? what rubbish? your friend marry jealousy go wan finish una. they do any small thing na to complain saybecause you are married. na we say make una no marry? marriage na Gods grace and nobody can sayits by their power. but stopinterpreting every action to be "because they are now married". as a married woman you are busy with your husband and children so you cannot hang out much. yes you can call but demands of the home and your own personal time no easy. where is the time to hang out? when a woman marries priorities change and sorry it offends the single friend. stop beefing married women and interpreting every action to mean because they are now married. yes some are bitchy about it and it shows who they really were even as single ladies, but that is no excuse to be abusing married ladies..even a 23 year old will have a big say in her husbands house and deserve and expect some level of respect from whoever. am surethis girl is not saying the aunty shouldbe telling her good morning first but just to be friendly and maybe acknowledge her greeting sef...if she calls her name and say how are you is that not a form of greeting? but no aunty 28 year old i am your senior with five whole years who must be greeted will not do that...aunty pack out and leave that couple alone.
ReplyDeleteThere is no big deal abeg in greeting her. The fact that she is married to your uncle the respect must come automatically for her regardless of the age difference. I'm a living witness; one of my uncles is married to someone I'm way older than but I have NEVER called her by her name...always..Aunt K....Always. So please, advise your sister to start doing the needful henceforth or PARK OUT as na she be MADAM o!!
ReplyDeletePoster, if all you said happened exactly how you said them, then I will say the Mama is also a problem to herself. How can she decide to call you codedly yet she cannot take a decision of where and how to be treated of her ailment? Why should you have her ATM card? As her heir or who?
ReplyDeleteWhy should she give you details of her property or tell you about them, biko? As her daughter-in-law or close family friend or what? Even if she did all these when you were in a relationship with her son, you must hand over now that you are married to another man and know your boundaries. She has male and female children, so her making you her confidant is UNNECESSARY and IMPLICATIVE. You can meet up or text her distraught daughter the details of why your relationship with her brother ended and advise her on the need for surgery on the Mom.
@Stella I wonder what her reasons for suing the mama's children would be. Negligence in what sense? The woman is not having any mental challenge, neither is she financially incapacitated, and I believe she can walk/move about, so how are they neglecting her? Does this poster actually have full details of why the surgery has not happened? Or the mama is trying to even put she and her hubby in trouble while pretending to be in good terms with them?
I sincerely think there is more to this story and I advise you, poster, to give back all of the woman's things in your possession to her, just pray for them to take favourable decision and let the mama and her children run their lives.