Some people are of the school of thought that if some people live together before marriage,they will decide if they want to get married or not and thus save themselves the pain of divorcing...
They will also get to know each other well and decide if they want to be together forever....
Another group are of the school of thought that living together kills the desire to get married,especially from the mans side and the woman will end up losing out and also be saddled with baby mama duties while he moves on quickly...
May be i am old fashioned but i do not believe in living together to test the waters before Marriage.....It is better to do all as a married couple even if it only lasts one month...
Living together before Marriage is not a big deal abroad and even lots of Africans who would normally frown at it,are doing it abroad to save rent and cut costs ,etc.
Have you ever been a live in lover?or you know someone who was/is?
how did it turn out?how is it going?
What is your thought about this matter?
Living together before marriage is a no for me.. Different strokes for different folks!
ReplyDeleteHow about sex before marriage, aka fornication?
DeleteMy girlfriend was a live in lover for 6 yrs guess what,they are now enemies. guy man was sleeping with a girl in the apartment my girlfriend rented for him because he was stranded at a point, he thru all the love, sacrifice out of the window for 5 mins sex with someone that might bring bad luck to him,well my friend seems to have moved on but the scar is still there, so the question I wouldn't advice anyone to be a live in lover because if you think you have known someone enough to marry him or her then I suggest you wake because na only their cover page you know. Only love, respect and fear of God can keep a home
DeleteYen yen yen 🤤.. Ìbéèrè tó pa iya ijebu
DeleteLike pastor Bimbo Odukoya used to say.... why but the cow when you can milk it for free....
DeleteA lot of men will happily live with women doing everything for them without the commitment.
Also if you want to test waters to check compatibility before marriage, what if you are not compatible with the first 3 men then does that mean you will continue testing till your toto is raw red and squashed.
Living together without the commitment of marriage is a no no
Will never ask anyone to do ba mi joko with any man. My aunt did that with a man for 24yrs,and at the end of the day,he married another woman legally, that my aunt did not born boy. Right now,my aunts girl's are the ones taking care of the man and his so called boys. My aunt moved out,but never married till today.
DeleteSame here... Big No! See finish ll enter.If u want to enjoy marital privilege, then do the needful. EOD
DeleteSeems everyone is looking at it only from the aspect of sex only. I'll advise that you pay impromptu visits during courtship. It was daunting when I got married and realized my man pees on the toilet seat, wipes his arse with tissue and doesn't take a bath after. He also was shocked that I take my pads apart to flush, and I don't brush my teeth before breakfast. Disgusting behavior I know but training out those habits certainly reduced the passionate love. We're friends though.
Delete@17:39, Ewwwww.....
DeleteAnon 17:39, is it a crime to wipe ass with tissue?
DeleteMust one have a bath after each visit to the toilet?
Please educate me
Anno 14*00 thanks for asking Anno 17*39 the question, abi if he is in d office he shouldn’t use d toilet, you guyz pick on little things
DeleteWorks for some people.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't work for some.
I wont live with you before you marry me. I rather spend nights n bang ya brains out, then go in the morning.
👍
Delete@Blackey
DeleteAll are one and the same. Fornication or banging his brains out is an outright
disobedience to God's set laws and a fall down the slope to a Christless eternity.
I rather spend nights n bang ya brains out, then go in the morning.
DeleteI love this 👆
It is one of the biggest insanity I have seen ladies subject themselves to.
ReplyDeleteEven giving him fornication from a distance is a scam. The boy-man will
in his vain mind marvel at what he calls "luck". No need to even sign any dotted lines again or do any ceremony in the name of marriage. He is getting the sex -fornication,
he has got a cook, cleaner, laundry lady, and all trying so hard to pacify and convince "a king" like him that she should be make a "Mrs."
And that is the time that the man also goes out to find another fornication mate. Talk about scam one, get some more free. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
A lady who does this is the architect of her own albatross.
So it's better to blackmail/starve the man to commitment? Hmmm...
Delete@Saphire
Delete"starve him of what?"
has anyone ever died for lack of fornication?
I don't believe in living together to know each other before marriage because you can never really get to know another person if they don't want to be known.
ReplyDeleteThey could always pretend for the duration of time you want to know them, and then show their true self after marriage.
It's best to do things the 'God way' and even if it doesn't work out later, you'll know you stood for what is right.
They cant pretend though
DeleteYou're right @twin squared
DeleteSo true @ twin squared
DeleteYou are on point dear
DeleteLiving together marriage is a no no for me. Most times it doesn't end well. You can visit, spend the weekend or holiday together, but to pack go live with man or woman who ain't your spouse? Nahhhh.
ReplyDeleteMhiz A, if it doesn't work out, at least they'd both have gotten their "diplomas" in marriage as a consolation prize. After all, dotted lines or no dotted lines, certificate is certificate😂😂😂😂...
DeleteFor some it turn out well
ReplyDeleteBut for some🙅🙅 see finish na bastard ....
My neuigbour downstairs the girl move in with him ,she bring lots of girls they will laugh out loud,stay home,eat add lot of weight instead of looking for a job or acquire a skill as a graduate o ...see funish begin enter the guy ask to leave brought in a slimmer version of her o ....she left crying as early as 5am now another girl dey here ,uncle don chop clean mouth
Live in lover ke.. See finish is not good at all.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I believe that everyone has the right to do whatever they want, I don't support living together before marriage. Living together signals that a couple is sleeping together before marriage — a violation of the religious proscription against premarital sex. Some live together to test their compatibility, if or not they can cope after marriage but this doesn't guarantee a lasting marriage. In fact, majority of the people I know who have stayed together before marriage often have issues in their marriage. Staying together often kills the desire to marry each other esp when u begin to discover flaws so I don't support it
ReplyDeleteFor me I don't like the idea of living together before marriage. It's all shade of wrong keeping someone's daughter with you and even impregnating her without her family consent and approval. It's an insult to the family of the woman in question.
ReplyDeleteI can accept living together if traditional marriage have been conducted. As Africans, we shouldn't import the white attitude towards marriage else we end up disregarding our value system. What makes us unique is our regards for our cultural heritage. Living together without marriage is nothing but fornication and against the will of God almighty.
Side eyes @ Pastor Teejay...good point👌
DeleteWe don't do that in Africa. It is sacrilege abeg
ReplyDeleteNobody born of a woman can be wiser than God.
ReplyDeleteNo idea, opinion and civilization can change God's original plan concerning marriage.
You don't have any right to live with a man you are not married to.
Well saidGod bless u!
DeleteWorks for some,doesn’t work for some.
ReplyDeletePersonally,I believe a marriage that is meant to last,will last no matter the procedures you use.
Different strokes for different folks.
DeleteLove this @wagon
Delete👍 final say!
DeleteSometimes we spoil something that’s meant to last with wrong action
DeleteLiving together when bride price has not been paid or a civil marriage has not taken place is a NO NO for me.
ReplyDeleteSo, you go live with a potential husband and starts playing the role of a wife (although there are some people who plays the role of a wife/husband and exclude sexual intercourse, but the ratio is very low) or a husband and at the end of the day, the marriage legalization is put on hold; then, you will go out with hatred in your heart, hurts and bile. You will carry that same hurts and hatred into another relationship, claiming you've been used and dumped.
Please, let everyone stay in their home and after legalising everything, you can now move in together.
I'm on this table right now for 5 months now,not planned or intentional but December didn't work out and coro postponed easter wedding. Govt, abeg lift lockdown oh, Oga is eager to do the needful as soon as possible.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure he's eager?
DeleteAnd you are faithfully supplying him fornication?
DeleteI don't believe in living together before marriage. I can go over for weekends and more but I can't park in before marriage. Never!
ReplyDeleteGbam
DeleteIt's a no no for me. We only started living together after the white wedding.
ReplyDeleteIt's all about choice though.
I have a friend who was living with her man way before they thought of marriage. He told her she must get pregnant before marriage plans and she agreed.
Any woman living in a man's house without her bride price paid is demeaning her body; God's temple instead of glorifying God with her body:
ReplyDelete1 Corinthians 6:18Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 19What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
One lady did exactly that. After 5 years and the man instead of marrying her impregnated and married her friend who had a twin for him. The lady began going to mediums to "take her husband back". The man in the medium did what he did and had intercourse with her. The lady, then in her thirties, could not leave the
medium chief priest alone. She had become a seduced sex slave. He ended up keeping her as one of her numerous concubines serving in the shrine.
And this lady had a phd and was lecturing before this incidence. She was hooked.
Once a lady moves in to live with a man, she has invited Satan to party.
Satan can never give marriage. He hates that godly institution so much.
OMG,so sad even to read😓
DeleteI have learnt something today; that ts only a woman's body that harbours the Holy spirit and only a woman's body can be demeaned.
DeleteArticulated rubbish.
@Saphire
DeleteYou so much love fornication and hate the Word of God that anywhere you see him, you must attack.
Living together doesn't solve anything.
ReplyDeleteThere are cases of people who thrived well as live in lovers but their marriages did not last.
Very well said @gbogbo bigs girls. Marriage is a whole different ball game entirely.
DeleteI wont live with you before marriage. I will be performing the duties of a wife and everyone will beleive I'm your wife but you dint put a ring on it. So let be going and coming abeg. I cant be a live-in lover.
ReplyDeleteBiblically it's a sin, so I will not promote it,just visit and go, be wise don't let love cover ya eyes u will see more of your spouse then u can decide.
ReplyDeleteFor me I can't live with someone before marriage..you can't eat you cake and have it
ReplyDeleteHonestly I won't live with any man before saying I do. If we are not staying in the same town, and I'm to visit, my visit can never exist one week
ReplyDeleteI was doing living together with my boyfriend in university days thinking that we will marry each other but I discovered that the guy is a destiny waster,destiny destroyer, manipulator, liar, 419, an abuser. He will bring another lady to the room we are both staying and tell me to go and sleep in my friend room which is the next room. The day I told him on phone that I am not interested again in relationship he could not believe his ears.he called my mama that I'm not serious that I'm taking him for granted. I explained everything to my mum without hiding anything from her,my mum shouted jesu. My mum called him and tell him to leave me with whatever decision I made. Thank God I give myself brain then I am happily married while oga is still looking for who to scam at age 40
ReplyDeleteYou did well dear.
DeleteWow, thank God you left, good radiance to bad rubbish.
DeleteWell, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. For me, I'll never live with a man who am not married too. Even if he has paid my bride price and we've done introduction, I'll not live in his house not even to stay for the weekend till after our white wedding.
ReplyDeleteYou're obviously delusional saying you can't live with someone that has paid your bride price simply because he hasn't done "white" wedding and you're suppose to be African.
DeleteIs white wedding your culture??
DeleteI believe people should be put in a house like Big Brother before marriage for a month. Call it couples lockdown. The true character of each person will be revealed sooner or later.
ReplyDeleteIf I had lived with my ex before marriage, I never would have been wed to him. Tufia!
Yes Twins Squared, he pretended for the over 1 year I was visiting him; once we married his Hyde came out.
Can only go for visit,before see finish will enter.
ReplyDeleteCan only go for visit,before see finish will enter.
ReplyDeleteI can't speak for everyone but i can't do it.
ReplyDeleteBefore see finish go enter
I will go with the second school of thought. It's either you want to commit to someone and get married or not. Cohabiting will end up messing things up for both parties especially when kids are involved if things did not turn out well.
ReplyDeleteI believe in living together as a married couple and i also believe in sexual purity.
ReplyDeleteI don't subscribe to living together to check our compatibility one thing I've learned over time is you can never finish studying/ understanding a person .
I like the anticipation and expectation that comes with waiting to be legally wedded as a couple .
I agree with you on this..
DeleteWord!!!
DeleteYou can never ever finish studying someone, totally true.
DeleteCest bon🔥🔥🔥🔥
DeleteIt has worked for some people. However, it is not wise. Apart from fornication being a sin against God, the failure of the relationship is felt more by the woman. There's the reputational damage which may spoil her chances in getting someone else as she's automatically branded "bad" by people, the time and emotions wasted cannot be replaced. For a man, he can easily get another woman who will marry him without thinking about his past. The other way na by special grace of God.
ReplyDeleteI'm living with my baby daddy presently,it's been over 3yrs. I came over to his place in Lagos to find job but got pregnant after 6months. I can't abort and he's willing to marry me when he's capable financially. I'm ok with him. We have been dating for 2yrs before I came over and I got to see more of his good side since I moved him. The job sef I never still see
ReplyDeleteSo you have been with him for 5years and you have a child together. Good luck.
DeleteI have been living with my baby daddy for 4years now and my child is 2years. No marriage talk. Everytine he comes up with the financial excuse. I told him to even meet my family he will postpone it. I am tired. But with a child between us it is even harder to leave him. I sell things close to the house and the neighbors call me his wife. I wish i can turn back the arm of the clock.
Delete15:28
DeleteIf he cannot respect you or your parents carry yourself and move on
A child is a child not superglue for a man who doesn't was t to commit to you
On credit is over !
Pls anon 14:51 and 15:28, hope you are on serious family planning. I beg you in the name of all you believe in, don't get pregnant for the second time till he married you and till you get a job. Na only one life una get, don't live it in regrets. God bless you two.
DeleteThanks Anon,I'm Anon 14:51,we both agreed on more kids after I get a job and paying the bride price. God bless you too
DeleteI have been living with my baby daddy since 2006 blessed with 2 kids...Last month he suggested we have another kid and i told him no more kids out of wedlock and he said marriage is nothing what matters is being a responsible man
DeleteAnon 14:51
DeleteThere is really no incentive for your baby daddy to marry you. He has all the benefits of a husband and none of the responsibility. You have all the responsibility of being a wife and no benefit. If you are a man, will u see any need to marry a woman who is already playing wifely duties and has even given u a child? What reason does he have to marry you?
Please force him so u guys can do court marriage. Nobody has to know. Court marriage doesn’t cost up to or more than 50k. If he doesn’t have 50k to marry you now, I’m sorry to say you are wasting your time with a poor time waster
Hopefully your story will not be like anon 22.45
For most people, living together is simply the next logical step in the progression of intimacy, but to others, mostly men, it’s an inevitable pressure that creates momentum toward marriage more out of guilt or fear, than love. Yes, it can kick off a rich, new phase in your relationship, but it can just as easily spell the end of things if you're not careful.
ReplyDeleteI lived with my ex girlfriend years back. Even now, I still regrets moving in with her. It was a terrible idea, a waste of time and energy, a catalog of lost and broken things, never mind my heart. You get entwined in each other's lives.
My advice: Before considering moving in together, ask yourself this question; ‘What scares you the most? If you're not sure you want to be entwined, you shouldn't put yourself in a position where it's definitely going to happen. Never ever live with a WO/MAN. A woman’s always going to assume that both of you are on the road to marriage, but to you the man, it may all be about saving on rent and enjoying each other's company. And this could spell trouble.
MEN, wherever country you are in, I understand the struggle to save money et, but please NEVER EVER LIVE /MOVE IN WITH A WOMAN.NEVER!!!No matter your reasons, her own reason is always MARRIAGE geared and if that is not what you want, PLEASE DON'T MOVE IN.
I concur
DeleteWhile courting,me and DH banged the hell out of eachother,especially when we were on vacation,we literally spent months in eachothers arms. Once we come back to naija i stay home but spend weekends together...It was so much fun and after marriage zaddy is still a sweet pain in the ass.Different strokes for different folks,whatever you do,don't turn yourself to "iyawo polybag " please,men take advantage of it. Spending weekend is a bit okay
ReplyDelete😘😘
DeleteShooter baby 😍😍😍
DeletePlease chop better kiss
Delete😍😍
DeleteWe were in different cities but whenever I went I'd stay at a relatives and go to his from there back+forth...
When I finally moved to his city,we did weekends and public holidays....!
The one I cringe when I see is for students, u go to same school and start living together😨😨most of them donot end up in marriage,after several years!!
@anon 😘😘😘, @Lagos shopper,living with them as wifey without marriage ends in premium tears. Some ladies do it and get away with it,but few.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteReligion aside, what exactly is wrong with it????
ReplyDeleteMe I believe it gives u more room to know if u are compatible or not. I mean, who can pretend for so long with someone under their nose.
Trust me, the people that tried it, got married and the relationship fell apart probably saw all the signs of them being unfit but still put head.
You cast aside the first and most important thing one should consider when it comes to things like this.. RELIGION
DeleteEka, whoever eants to pretend will pretend. I know a couple who lived together for 10 years. They got married on the 11th year. Got divorced a year later.
DeleteVery true eka joy, I lived together with my hubby before marriage and we both saw all the signs but still chook head, right now we are managing ourselves.
DeleteEka Joy exactly 👍
DeleteThank you.
DeleteMadam omni-est all knowing in marriage matters. Kontinu.
DeleteEka you spoke the truth. It's not everybody that is so crazy about this you must get married before living together. I lived with my now husband for seven years, had two kids and I wasn't eager to change my status. One day out of the blues I heard let's get married or don't you want to? That is how we got married. If you are confident in yourself and not so crazy about religion why not if not?
DeleteI wasn't bothered, wasn't ashamed, never changed my status to Mrs(I'm still bearing my maiden name) and I'm happy genuinely. My opinion please.
19.22 Omni trollest
DeleteLiving together so we can study and know each other very well, who told you you'll ever know everything about you partner? Living with your lover before marriage only encourage fornication and mar your relationship with your maker.
ReplyDeleteDifferent strokes for different folks,I for one can't be live in lover to any man to test compactability and what not! You cannot really know anyone fully cos alot pretend well
ReplyDeleteEven married couples will still say they are learning each daily some married for 10yrs plus,so what's the need to stay with him to learn before marriage? las las see finish will come to play and the man will push you out and marry another
Highest is go for weekends and return back to your house to avoid stores that touch later
Living together before marriage is not a nice thing to do,not at all
ReplyDeleteWorks for some but personally NO. I do not subscribe to it before seems finish will park it's load and come and join.
ReplyDeleteIt's a big no for me,people can pretend to get whatever they want,so date, get to know yourself and take it to the next level if you are cool.
ReplyDeleteI am of the school of thought that living together before marriage will bring see finish. And most times they end up not getting married sef. Pls do the marriage rites and let the woman move in.
ReplyDeleteIt works for me,and didnt work for my friends
ReplyDeleteWhile in school,I have a group of friends and we were all "married" living together with our boyfriends.I noticed I don't put more effort in the relationship,but my boyfriend turned hubby put his all, while my friends dey wash their boyfriends clothes, one of my friends guy even brought the younger sis to be living with them in my friends room o, but today out if 4 of us, I'm the only one married to my boyfriend and our marriage will be 11 years by God's grace this November. My friends are all married to different guys, though it caused serious delay, extra years for most of them. But in all I can never adv anyone to try it, out of 10 just 1 might work out. Me and hubby relates as best of friends,my in law are always angry that I call him by name,and vice versa, we shared same friends till now, cos we dated for long, we've been together legally plus illegally for 20 years
Legally plus illegally 😍😍😍😍 God bless your home.
Deleteliving together is no no for me
ReplyDeleteI will advise all my friends and loved once
against it.
Do people really do that?
ReplyDeleteHoney, you aren't gonna see the colour of my panties nor have me cook even as little as Indomie for you or wash a dish if you aren't going to put a ring on it and that's that on that.
My brother cohabitated with his girlfriend for 2yrs before marrying her. One year later, fight start to. The wife accused my brother of being wicked, my brother accused her for being greedy. Na so they carry matter come meet my mother to. Hahaha, my mother's first question to them is: You both lived together for good 2yrs before marriage how come you people didn't see the flaws?. Now they are still together but like a stranger's.
ReplyDeleteOnly people who have accommodation n family problems go to live with d other partner bfr marriage, you can't have things going well for u and think of that rubbish even if you're a comfortable atheist.
ReplyDeleteExactly! This was my case, was in love with this dude and followed him to a state i had no one except friends. Stayed with a friend, and when the threw me out, had no choice than to live with bf for 8months. Saw alot and that's how i discovered marriage to him would be hell. So i let go, got an apartment secretly, broke the relationship and moved out...
DeleteFor me it's a No No
ReplyDeleteI’m indifferent. I know couples who did it and are still together and others who didn’t and are divorced. So whatever rocks ur boat. I used to spend weeks with hubby while dating then go back home and today we are married going on 20 years. Like I say different strokes for different folks
ReplyDeleteTrue true
DeleteIn my days, I lived with 4guys ,and I married to the 4th,all Mt relationship na live in lovers o, but can I be referred to as oloko Merin? Anyway my marriage is already 12 years,with no divorce in view, my husband love me like mad, I love am too but not like mad sha, I only love myself and my kids like mad
ReplyDeleteLiving together before marriage??? No no no, not my style,I will never be comfortable honestly but if my bride price is paid,no qualms
ReplyDeleteI can't live with my partner except I'm stranded and have no where to go but it will only be for a short time. A couple in my class started dating from 1st year, they lived together,from 2nd semester to fifth year. Unfortunately, they both married different people.
ReplyDeleteI prefer to visit and spend days than living like couple whereas we are not. See finish will obviously show face and the woman will suffer more.
ReplyDeleteI have an aunt who was living with her boyfriend back den for God knws how many years,she was d one doing everything for this guy n his family,she rented an apartment of 3 bedrooms for the guys parents even bought a golf car for him but he later dumped my aunt n impregnated another woman while my aunt was still thinking he was going to marry her.
ReplyDeleteEven d guys parents never stood up her,and naso d relationship ended without getting married but she is happily married today with 3kids
Living with a guy before marriage is not good atall because d guy go just dey chop free P n later tire am n go dump d person later
Stella, I kid you not! that cohabiting shit is disgusting
ReplyDeleteI have done that in the past and it didn't end well even though to an extent,it was my fault. But nonetheless, wouldn't every advice anyone to toe that line.
ReplyDeleteThe anticipating to know how married life will be to be is the best for me.
Perhaps the question that goes to thought is, when people live together with their significant other, are they observant enough. Do they take their time to understand who the other really is ? Because during the cohabiting period, people are usually in their best behaviours, so if one doesn't observe hard enough, the whole aim will be defeated.
ReplyDeleteLeaving with your partner before marriage is a sin.. Sin of the body is something GOD does not take lightly. It even open doors to a lot demonic problems. If you attend a deliverance church you will understand better. For a lady to visit a guy alone is also wrong , they are to meet in open places. Once GOD is in charge of your life HE will see to it that you don't make mistake marital.# GOD is too Faithful to fail#
ReplyDeleteI would prefer to move in after all marital rights have been performed.
ReplyDeleteBack in my younger days , before I got married..... The most any girl stayed in my crib was 3-4 days at a stretch . inasmuch as I was a playboi (57 body count) Lol. I never allowed that .
ReplyDeleteBabes come, stay weekends then go. I'm 6.2 feet , above averagely good looking was doing very well financially(for most of those years). So there was always the pressure from some of my babes at that time to move in permanently. I didn't allow it, not because I didn't want it, but because It would have spoilt show for my other runs.
When the time came for marriage , I had uhmmm changed my ways, A proper church boi .Me and wifey didn't even have sex....lots of smooshing and play, but we held back. That's one of the reasons I hurried up the wedding .Me and celibacy were not the best of pals.
Summary, it has worked for some and didn't work for others. Based on what I know now, i will not advice it. The bible does not support it. Let the man anticipate the thrills of having you in his home legally in marriage .Else it might just be free sex , when he's tired he moves onto someone new.
On 2 the Next!
im not advocating fornication o but i believe many disaster marriages would v been avoided if they cohabitate.Many are saying see finish , when you eventually marry you go still see finish now so why no see finish and see if geniunely husband or wife still admires you to take the leap of marriage
Delete