How do you react to food when offered?
Some people have no qualms when it comes to taking what they want, either as a guest given access to serve themselves food at the house of their hosts or ordering take-outs from eateries and restaurants.
This is this awkwardness I feel when food situations come up. I end up taking the small portions and it's usually to the chagrin of my host. I always have this inward struggle not to come off as greedy or overstep my boundaries.
My school friend once asked me to join her for lunch with her date, and after much persuasion, I tagged along.
When it was time for the waitress to take our orders, I ordered for a bottle of water and doughnuts, while our host and friend had rice and chicken with drinks. The guy hosting us hid his emotions well, but my friend later told me he was embarrassed I ordered such. I was equally taken aback because to me, I thought I was being considerate.
My roommates then used to be very pissed at me each time I refused to serve myself food from their pots but would want them to dish out the food and most times, I may end up not eating if they insist I should serve myself.
I often wonder if my behaviour is from how i was brought up or it's just me being rigid and having difficulty letting go of my inhibitions.
Isn't it the polite thing to do to allow a host serve their guests or is it disrespectful to insist on being served?
*Please you are too uptight,you can take food,if you see two pieces of meat you take one and eat......
I see it as being disciplined, not "too uptight".
ReplyDeleteAs long as you ordered for something edible, like the doughnut there. Some people like myself, do not eat breakfast and my lunch is more of fruits. My main meal is the dinner and if you take me out at noon, I am not going to change my lifestyle because of you. 😊😊
When people act like food makes others see them as inappropriate it irks the fuck outta me.
DeleteIt's because u were not privileged as a child simple. If u were brought up in a home were such is not seen as anything u won't always be socially awkward during dinning Biko.
I had a friend who wld criticize others about there eating during outing, she wld constantly point out how, A over ordered B even wants a take away. I got tired and told her, na because u no get d opportunity as a child.she was utterly shocked and that changed her perception.
If u were brought up in a home where ur parents don't measure food, from the onset ur body would adjust to wat it wants, so no matter where u r taken to, Local Bukka o, Intercontinental hotels o, 5 star out of Nigerian Hotel, u already know what u want,except u want to try new things. Simple
A child ( Ajebo) wouldn't act like this, because they r exposed, there parents take them out on weekends to eat out, so y she go shy because man take am out. Na ur type they use NYLON PACK FOOD FOR PARTY. Adjust with the crowd u move with, if na pose act pose.
You really should swap it cos heavier meals should be eaten at lunch and your fruits can be swapped for dinner
DeletePlease anon, it's dinner you should skip and eat your breakfast like a queen or king.
DeleteBy the time you eat your main meal at dinner and go to bed, it's not doing your body much good.
@Golibe and Anon
DeleteNigerians and their unsolicited pieces of advice. I have lived this way for over a decade and
gone on medical check ups both within and outside Nigeria, yearly with clean bill of health. And you know what?
You just "murdered" Scriptures:
Proverbs 10:16 Woe to the land whose king was a servant a
and whose princes feast in the morning.
17 Blessed is the land whose king is of noble birth
and whose princes eat at a proper time—for strength and not for drunkenness.
ImaageScale, that does not mean one should not have decorum, stop justifying nonsense.
DeleteImaagescale,I disagree with u. Do u know there are some guys who never expected Der babes to come with a friend to lunch cos he probably has money for two. Deep down he will be praying for d guest not to other too much. That aside, when I go out for lunch or dinner with a friend,I don't over order cos I don't know how deep Ur pocket is. Unless u are my paddy,I will ask u wella make I order wetin I want😁. Don't mean I wasn't born in a home where there was no food. Maybe u haven't seen some gals ordering sha😂 order rice n stew,fried rice. Eat from her friends plate in the name of tasting the food,and her friend is eating pounded yam n Egusi o.
DeleteIt depends on the relationship you have with the host. I personally can't enter s friend's kitchen unless i am told to.
ReplyDelete1 Cor. 8:8 8But food does not bring us closer to God: We are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do
ReplyDeleteProverbs 23:1 When you sit to dine with a ruler, note well what a is before you, 2and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony. 3Do not crave his delicacies, for that food is deceptive.
Do not make the mistake of taking a nigerian girl to a dinner date along with her friends.
ReplyDeleteThey will empty the restaurants and your wallet/bank accounts.
😏😏😏
What you eat tells a lot about a person, in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteStella how do you expect me to serve/dish out food for you when I don't know how much you eat?
I'll direct you to the table/food and expect you to serve yourself?
It's up to you to disgrace your generation by filling your plate with tons carbs,fatty and sugary food.
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Delete📌📌📌📌📌📌
DeleteHow can you even go and order donut and water? How??? You for sit down for your house.
ReplyDeleteIf you permit me to serve myself, I take as much as I can eat and depending on the amount of food in the pot.
See them.😏
DeleteI'm just like the poster. If I visit a friend no matter how close we are ,I prefer to be served because I don't know if the food will be enough .
ReplyDeleteI have a friend we normally talk about her because of her behavior, if you tell her to go and serve herself she must finish that food even if it's the last food .As a student you should always be considerate but no this my friend must eat as if you are responsible for her even when you have never eaten her own 😉. Always waiting for others to cook so that she can eat ,she will be saving her money while eating others food 😂😂😂 😂
I hope one day they will not give her witchcraft.
DeleteAs a guest,I like being served please.
ReplyDeleteYou have self control which is how it should be. There are people who if u give them such an opportunity will empty your pot without thinking if you or others have eaten or need to eat later on. For some people, never ever make the mistake of giving them free access.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteHonestly the water and doughnut situation would have embarrassed me too. You should have ordered for probably chicken and salad or just stayed at home. I think you need to loosen up a little.
ReplyDeleteMy dear sis that serve your self ish-i visited a bf who was living with his elder brother. Very big duplex but his brother stays abroad so he is like the 'houseman'. His brother's wife lives in Nigeria though so they share the duplex. That was how this woman told me to take food from the pot and I did only for me to hear later that I was a glutton. Next visit I decided to buy my own stuff and cook. The story I heard later was that I was too greedy, I cook with big chunks of meat, I will finish the guys money, etc. Guy that was squatting at 35! Food I cooked with my money! I left that family-the drama was too much. Her marriage sadly didn't last. But my story here is that serve yourself ish-i have NEVER tried it again. I decline if you don't serve me.
ReplyDeleteThe real picture is that you cheapened yourself by going to spend days with them
Deletebefore you were married to him. That is if you like to see it.
I remember some time ago, my cousin brought his girlfriend home to meet my parents .My mum in her usual style told her to go ahead & dish her food herself. When this Aunty came out of the kitchen fear catch all of us oooo The heap of rice in her plate was like Olumo rock����. The worse part was that she couldn't finish the food. She kept stuffing & stuffing the food. Funny enough she is now my cousin's wife with 2 kids sef! Again when I got married & my husband's younger sister came visiting. I wanted her to feel at home & not see as that uptight wife. So I told her to go to kitchen to dish her food. You need to see the way she used her eyes to finish me. That was almost the beginning of my problem with my in laws. BTW am well older than her o
ReplyDeleteStella she isn’t uptight, the writer’s got manners.
ReplyDeleteI love food. Everyone knows this. But the day I got a default factory setting was when I had gone out with my mom.
When I was little; about 10 years old, we went to her friend’s house. When we got there the lady was cooking...Thirty minutes later I was asleep on their couch. Some time later I was awake but still lying on the couch pretending to be asleep.,,I could hear the woman say ‘’assuming I wasn’t asleep she’d have given me some food....and me long throat.... on hearing that I sat up from the couch immediately and said “I’m already awake ma.” My mommy didn’t say anything. She brought me food and I ate. Stella when I got back home, my mommy beat the hell out of me, that shebi i came to this life to embarrass her bc of food. I never forgot that night. I still remind her till tomorrow cause it was bc of that beating that made me not to collect food from anyone, even if it’s free.
This topic is dear to me cause I have a friend whom we’ve fought over this. She never says no to food. Even if you’ve chewed from the food, she’d still beg. She’s 26.
The first day I invited her to my family house and my mom had prepared food for everyone, this girl went to the pot and dished out her own food. Even me I was surprised like why didn’t she wait for me to dish the food for her, it’s a different thing if I was the one that made the food, it’s a different thing if she wasn’t visiting my house for the first time, it’s a different thing if my mom had told her to go take her share.Since then my likeness for her just dropped, cause I have never done such with her. She’s not a bad person but she dsnt know how to behave when she’s in public.
So Stella, it’s called table manners. Not everyone got that.
I agree 💯
Delete😂😂😂 I'm already awake Ma
Delete👌👌👌
DeleteExactly, thanks for saying it as it is -> manners.
DeleteGood one! My dignity is so important to me. I dislike gluttons.Their greed for food somehow extends to all facets of their lives.
Delete😂😂😂 our mom's might just be sisters 😂
DeleteEven when its a buffet I only eat in small portions , my upbringing kinda formed a very large part of my lifestyle.
And i am a believer that table manners is key in every gathering.
Lol seriously the beating is not to be forgotten.
DeleteYeah. It’s manners. Some people dont Know where to draw the line.
Yhup, gluttony. One of the seven deadly sins.
It all depends because sometimes, it shows off to some people how disciplined or timid you are to depending on the occasion and relationships.
ReplyDeleteMrs dee,that is how I was raised.
ReplyDeleteI don't think your been uptight, I eat more of junk food, most times am out I order same,my friends used to have such issues with me at frist but now they have accepted me for me, Mine was from upbringing I hardly even eat in my relatives's house it's that bad
ReplyDeleteIf the guy felt offended he could have mentioned it by telling you to please feel free to order what they ordered
You aren't rigid and you are not been disrespectful but if you see that your host is busy then serve yourself but use your sense.
ReplyDeleteI think she's just courteous because it's always better to behave in public
ReplyDeletei understand how you are because i amonly making changes to my behaviour right now. It's as a result of being considerate of thers you dont want to take too much or too little. And for me it doesn't help that i also don't eat much naturally. I am only learning to no say no when offered because it hurts the other person and is also a sense of pride.
ReplyDeleteThe problem with us may stem from Africans and their lack of moderation or consideration. Some people when offered will act like nobody else can eat after them they will not even consider the host himself. Some people will even rush and try to step on other people because of food others will even decline an invite somewhere is there is no food. Dont let food rule your mind, relax dont act like you grew up eating one cob of maize a day Annony-me (yes I'm back)
I was brought up that way too. I don't like taking food from people that are not really close to me talk more of dishing for myself...
ReplyDeleteI think I have a big problem with food.. As in, I'm soooo used to cooking my own meals or meals made by my mum! Going out to eat even if it's a relative's place is a problem.. I would rather take junks! Despite living in the hostel through out school, anytime there's a need for combined meals.. I Cook! People love eating my meals 😂
DeleteI'm not really an outgoing person though.. So visiting people is a like something that happens few times in a year or not at all and eating sometimes don't happen while visiting as I would have eaten from my house or just go for junks.
I'm trying to adjust as few of my friends find faults with that part of me.. I'm really working on it
We share same sentiment and it doesn’t help much i’m a guy. I said that because guys are expected to be carefree and less conscious especially over food matter. I seldom eat out and if I have to eat at a friend’s, it has to be really minimal portion...I cook what I can, when I can. For now, i’m Liking it.
DeleteAm like that too, can’t serve myself unless when am at home or visiting my siblings and they must insist first 😊
ReplyDeleteThen on dates whether alone or tagging along, i always go with my own money so if i want to eat what i want without feeling guilty, i say don’t worry it’s on me to my host😊
Oil dey your head. Esp going with your own money so you can eat what you want without feeling guilty then if the host insist on paying for the meal then i can allow it.
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