We are gonna pay damages, and I told the policeman, I said " I lived in that house for twelve years and I think I still have a right to that property as a wife. "
I told the policeman, "But we are not even divorced yet, so I am not understanding what he's doing."
"I did not touch him, I banged the door."
"And this man has been beating me all these years and I have never ever for one day called the police because I am too afraid."
And they are like "Next time, you call the police and we'll sort it out."
I said, but I am always afraid, he's a lawyer, he says he's a duty solicitor to a lot of police stations.......'
The video did not end but her fear could still be seen in her eyes as she talked..
Please if you are suffering Domestic Violence,it does matter whether you are guilty for the reason he is beating you,Please leave that situation...please leave!
I hope BV Flora and others are OK.
It never ends well. Victoria was covering up back then. She needed her papers and didn't want to be deported.
ReplyDeleteThank God for her now. She can open up
Her attack on women is disgusting.
DeleteI don't think she" needed her papers or didn't want be deported ".
DeleteOne of the effect of DV are extremely low self-esteem (that is one of the reason she couldn't speak up), other physical or mental effects..etc.
And the DV would have been a clear way to issue her the "papers " in the UK.
In the UK, they do not joke with DV when any victim cry or speak out. Even when you don't speak out, and your GP or any professional worker suspected DV is going on they will investigate it.
Thank God she came out alive.
Exactly, she’s smart enough . Happy she has found her feet, some ladies are not that lucky to come out with their heads in the sky. If she had made trouble with him , she would have lost completely & now she has gone for some lucrative medical courses that can put food on her table . I remember their wedding hosted by Julius Agwu.
DeleteDefinitely not because of papers. If you live in the UK and have a child for a British, your child automatically becomes British and you will definitely get your documents no matter how long it takes. For someone like Victoria who would have been on Dependant Visa and could show she was married, didn't have anything to worry about immigration.
DeleteThe only thing is that most times we Nigerian or African women do not want to be single parents because of fear of raising kids alone and what the society will think and say about us being divorced.
Being in a country without family can be depressing, without WhatsApp and social media in those days.
I dont blame but wish her all the best.
Love you Victoria and pray you heal completely 😘
I met her around 2008 in Belvedere London and when she said she's a full time mum and her hubby provides everything. I knew something was wrong. In my head, except you don't have papers, how can someone with a well established career become a full time mum. Moreso the hubby was a chronic womaniser. I couldn't place it then even when I see her at New wine Church. Anyways the DV laws and stay via a British child wasn't in place then . I guess she was afraid of the scandal mostly or had issues with her papers. I glad she has left but she's not without blames. She was a chronic lesbian and joined a clique of married women that were lesbians and sleeping around with men. Remember infinity magazine in London???
DeleteWhen Victoria married . It took 2 years to get papers.... so if she stayed 12 years later it definitely not for papers. She got her papers agesszzz ago
DeleteAlot of factors CLD have played against her reason she stayed. Famous Nigerian Actress, single mum, no means of livelihood, what will pple say and so on... Good u r out and better
DeleteAnonymous 13:43, ure just an idiot and hater with all the nonsense allegations you wrote. And what nonsense did you just write about "stay via a child wasn't in place in the UK". It has always been in place.
DeleteBesides Victoria was legally in the UK and had no reason to hide from the Home Office plus whats wrong with being a full time mum when your kids are still young in the UK? If she didn't voice out them it might have been because she was new in the UK plus most women who went through DV in those days would not won't to divorce or be single mums because of the societal stigma.
Na person wey no somebody dey do dem pass, you had to mention her church.
I pray God blesses you with problems bigger than you can cope WITH Anonymous 13:43 .
Eyan buruku ni e, ure 😈 .
Your comment harsh sha o! But I believe you have a grasp of what you are talking about.
DeleteDV sucks life from it's victims.
ReplyDeleteVictoria I am super proud of you, for not only having the courage to leave but talking about it, for others to learn, wishing you total recovery.
Yeah!..Victoria is 💪💪, "talking about it " do help in the recovery.
DeleteWe have to Listen to the survivor of DV, believe them and support them.
Thank God she is free now,its not easy to be in such situation and still be level headed,it takes good support system for DV victims to be able to speak out.
DeleteMost religious heads will frown at divorce at the detriment of the victims lives.
I pray Floral is okay ,since she went back,nothing has been heard of her.
Victoria is desperately seeking for attention
ReplyDeleteLike really???Pray not to marry a man who will beat you blue black Red and yellow...mtcheeeew
DeleteAnon 08:52, u are one of d trolls we were talking about .Calling out people u don’t know their struggles is part of trolling, bcoz when they read ur comments, they hurt more. If we Check now, u are not married & if I’m right, do u know what tomorrow holds for u? U guys should allow others be, if u are not pleased with her personality, move on to another post. Ds is not right. Cheers.
DeleteAnon 08:52! ARE YOU FOR REAL?..😏😒 I think you are one of the barriers.
DeleteComments like yours are not helpful to any victim. It imply you don't believe someone(the victim), and can be very damaging. DV often happens behind closed doors, and abusers often threaten that no-one will believe them if they speak out(just the way you are doing Anon 08:52).🤨😏
That's why it's super important that we listen to the victims, and believe them.The abusers are often well respected or liked in their communities because they are charming and manipulative. This prevents people recognising the abuseor violence or abuse, and isolates the victim further.
According to Cps UK,Domestic abuse can inflict lasting trauma on victims e.g Victoria,and their extended families, especially children(her kids too) and young people who may not see the violence or abuse, but may be aware of it, or hear it occurring. A lot of individuals suffering domestic abuse whether in intimate relationships, or within familial situations, will not be always be aware that what they are experiencing is abusive behaviour.
Leaving an abusive relationship or marriage takes a lot of strength and courage for Victoria or any victim who decided to leave.
Please let us be very careful when commenting because someone might be going through Domestic abuse/violence right now.
And to anyone going through DV, just know that it is better to leave now . There are people who will believe you(including me). You are strong, courageous and most of all Beautiful/handsome🤗
Hmmmmm, Anonymous 8:52, se ara e ya sha?
DeleteIt's well with her, I hope she finds peace
ReplyDeleteI pray she's ok.some men are evil,and this yeye country can't do anything for women xcept your father is one oga at the top ...God pls give me a good man that will value and respect me,a man that have great fears God.I so much love my life and skin I can't imagine my self been beaten for a WHOLE 12 yrs😮😮😮 please madam do anything drastic for your safety
ReplyDeleteVictoria really cover up for her husband, she defended him.
ReplyDeleteVictoria, such a beautiful and a well put together lady. But, marriage almost messed her up.
I pray she finds the peace she seek.
Yeah she did, when people noticed and started talking about it she was fighting them.
DeleteIt's well with you Victoria..alot are still in it cos they are afraid of what people will say bla bla bla,not financially bouyant too! So they end up staying to endure the pain and all
ReplyDeleteWomen empowerment is Paramount no matter how small it is
For real? You don't need divorce, as you guys can simply walk away as a separated couple. You guys don't need all these names calling for the sake of the kids. Be strong!
ReplyDeleteShe NEEDS a divorce. What if she meets someone else, and she wants to get married again? She won't be able to, because she's still legally married.
DeleteShe can apply for divorce proceedings when she is ready(you have to be ready mentally for the proceedings), and I think the man is delaying because he has got a lot to lose.
DeleteHe knows he will have to give some of what he owns, it is selfishness.
DeleteThank God she's better now.Only God knows what she's been through all those years
ReplyDeleteThank God she is in a reasonable country that help women going through dv.
DeleteThank God she's better now.Only God knows what she's been through all those years
ReplyDeleteBeating and emotional torture is not a good thing to experience especially from someone who should protect you.
ReplyDeleteStella please let's talk about how parents treat there children in the name of na me born you. I need to voice out my mind to somebody.
Am one this table @your second paragraph.it still baffles me on how am still sane.pls Stella, let's talk about domestic abuse from parents to their kids.its so disheartening
DeleteNo wonder she is bitter, truly self love is Bea. ♦️
ReplyDeleteWhile some women throw shades at her, she has successfully raised almost 2 adults.
ReplyDeleteSome r still single heading to 45, some in Bitter marriages, some married but codedly fucking other men, the list goes on.Yet they r chief of Internet worries .
Love is what every human being should b selfish with, find it, experience it, enjoy it , u can't have love in u and yet spit so much venom on other humans because of FUCKING Society rule. Fuck the Rule. Love urself!
Stop staying in a loveless marriage, it brings out the worst in human. Chronicles everyday y? Lovelessness..
Be bold step out from that toxic rubbish and fix ur life, Be selfish with love. Love urself to the point no dagger thrown at u can penetrate.
Nigerian a place where sinner's r judged for Sinning differently.
Don't conform to what will kill u( society)make ur own rules with LOVE.
Today she will not be onye Ori amu, today d song go change. Oh beautiful, oh this oh that. Better wake up and do u, the world will adjust ❤️
This comment has changed my life. Patiently waiting for Covid to be over. Presently working on my exit plan. God help me
Your first paragraph is pure garbage. Very judgemental.
DeleteYou are in a bitter marriage yourself yet taking it out on your fellow women. You are just as bad as the people you are condemning.
Delete10;23 and Perxian.I saw this comment on Stella Abiodun post where she unveiled her 2daughters and saved it. Yes I am in a bitter place and waiting for d pandemic to blow over so I can walk. Read and understand please
DeleteAnon if you’ve tried ignoring him and develop a thick skin and it didn’t work take a walk . also try avoid confrontations and bridle your tongue too try it if it still doesn’t work then leave. I used to be hot headed and very volatile because I was married to a narcissist. The day I found peace with myself was the end of his power over me . You can do it anon don’t leave unless your life is in danger. Stop reacting emotionally to everything he does God will help you 🙏🙏
DeletePlease how did you do it because I am married to one. He is making me act like a mad women
Deleteanon i understand the bitterness because its not easy and i experience it but to trash other women going through similar is concerning to me ..i wish you well ..lets encourage each other with kind words
DeleteAnon 12:03, Tnx for d advice. Ur advice was d steps my sister took & much more , for twenty something years. There’s nothing demeaning she didn’t pass through & her husband was & still is wealthy , but she never felt d money & wasn’t taken care of. She’s a graduate but wasn’t allowed to work. She embraced God in total submission. D story long ,but to cut it short, God fought her battles to a triumphant conclusive end by putting to shame all d husband’s siblings & mother who ganged up-to torment her ,bcoz she’s from a very poor family. She has two Engineers, a Lawyer & their younger siblings doing excellently well . All d graduates & their younger ones schooled & are schooling abroad. She has since relocated to be with them & power has changed hands , bcoz d children while in Nigeria were witnesses to d inhuman treatment meted out to their mother. They’re pampering her without limits, while d husband who leaves in Nigeria visits regularly & trying so hard to make up for all she did to her. Yes , it ended well for her , possibly bcoz she was innocent & allow Godoy fight her battles. If u want to do it yourself, in most cases, it doesn’t end well. All my love & good luck to those of u going through Dv. It’s well.
Delete...allowed God....
DeleteWomen are great shock absorber to nonsense...Haba is fear of the unknown I don't really get ooo
ReplyDeleteHmmmm.
ReplyDeleteMadam, You are a naturally silent woman, I can tell you that there's no man that can live with you without beating the he'll out of you . I have seen you fight your boyfriends when you were living in surulere, abiodu area and you had a very bad mother. Stop making your ex husband look bad please
ReplyDeleteGbam!
DeleteAnd so what?
DeleteEnemies from the past. What if her ex brought out the worst in her through his bad ways and she just couldn’t handle it right nkor. Evil enemies from the past. And her “bad” mother do you know what made her like that? You think humans are robots. It takes study and wisdom and strength to defeat the evil life brings our way and most times experience to channel evil energies to positive ones. Am not Victoria by the way
DeleteU c am. Pple do have receipts
DeleteI do see her on IG, blasting women mostly and I will be like "why is this woman always bitter". She's been through alot but she should please tone it down a little.
DeleteWell spoken.
DeleteIf she is such a bad woman, why has the husband refused to divorce her?
DeleteAnon 13:07, don't be naive, cos he doesn't want to pay up.
DeleteTo those of you bashing this woman and calling her names, I pray you do not meet an abusive and manipulative man. They will drain you in every way and make you doubt your worth.
ReplyDeleteMay your heal all broken heart
Miss Betty, Tnk u. If u check the comments, u will realize that those bashing her are not married yet, then check the married ones who have tasted the canes & see the difference. Leave them to continue calling people struggling with their problems out. Na here I dey, even if they hide under anon or fake ID, I pray we no go read their chronicles & their begging for advice.
DeleteHad an argument with my husband over a very petty issue. I was so angry that I kept ranting over it. I was in the bathroom when he badges in and pushed me. I slipped and fell.
ReplyDeleteToo many thoughts kept running through my mind. What if I fell and hit my head on the wet tiles or somewhere else.
Na so I for die leave my poor little children that are under 5? Just because I married a temperamental man?. I know I'm not safe because he kept telling me he's going to kill me. I'm planning my Exit . I cannot die because I married a mistake of a man!
Anon 11:57, you are very lucky!
DeletePlease start writing it down with dates. Speak to someone about it who will not judge you. Plan a safety exit and always watch your back. Stop talking when he is talking because your hubby is unpredictable.
Be safe please.
Why didn’t you stop ranting. I had an argument with my husband too on the phone when network cutoff the call I didn’t bother calling back to continue the argument it ended there. Women pls control your tongue pls
DeleteAnon, for how long am I going to keep quiet and allow him to always have his way? I keep quiet all the time and apologize even when am not at fault but I was so tired of all his Bullshits I had to talk back. I'm not a fool and God didn't created me to be one!
DeleteWho started this RUBBISH that women can’t talk back to their husbands ? You people can challenge God but you can’t challenge an ordinary man because he’s your husband. Doesn’t stop the cheating and abuse. You people with tame tongues may you marry all the abusers seeing as you have all the answers
DeleteAnon 12:51 stop it already! That your first line is a no no! You are blaming the woman for the actions of the man! Which is so wrong!
DeleteThis your line of thought is what deters women from speaking ouT and seeking for professional help!
She never attacked the man or go physical on him.
The man had a choice to either talk back, ignore her or leave the enviroment! But he choose to be violent!
That man is violent fullstop!and he is even proud of it! Imagine telling her he will kill her!
Madam you start planning your exit from that marriage before you exit in a bodybag.
And seek professional help too. You need to be mentally strong to execute your plans!
E hug!
Anon 13.54 pls calm down no one is fighting with you. The reason why she shouldn’t talk back if not for any reason but for her life and sanity to diffuse the anger and tension one person has stop the burning fire in a violent situation or else. Two people living under the same roof can’t be mad at the same time. It’s not safe or healthy especially when kids are watching. Genuinely seek peace in your marriage and you will find it. 🙏🙏🙏
DeleteIt is well dear Victoria..
ReplyDeleteOh dear, may God bring healing to all suffering DV. I remember bv Flora, I think she later went back to her hubby. There was also a time she was looking for a storage house to buy. I trust she's ok now. Stella you're 1 in a million, never knew you'd still care about her after all these years. God's blessings
ReplyDeleteI wish Victoria all the best. I hope that God will permanently heal her heart and mind because PTSD is very difficult. I salute her for doing the best for herself and her kids after living with a narcissist.
ReplyDeleteIt will be well with you Victoria so speak your truth if you need to because abuse thrives on silence.
Please, today's parents train your sons well. Too many 'sick' men out there.
ReplyDeleteMothers, especially those complaining of terrible husbands now, train your son's to be compassionate and helpful. Don't control or disrupt their marriages tomorrow just because you weren't happy in yours today.
i wish victoria healing from PTSD ..its not easy but babes reconsider the attack of fellow women who might be in their own ptsd journey ...i know say SM can be brutal but when i see you throwing back curses and insults i feel somehow because you should be the counsellor ..try na ..its not easy to be insulted..educate them with facts don't stoop to their level
ReplyDeleteIf she is doing that then she is wrong because she should know better having experienced dv.
DeleteHmmmmm,men are unpredictable same as women,but beating a lady is very wrong,that one is paramount, nobody will dispute the fact, But sharing this kind of shit on media is absurd, this are supposed to be private matters sorted silently.
ReplyDeleteI pray she finds healing because from her utterances, she's obviously still damaged. I remember the way she attacked Omowunmi Akinnifesi for having multiple degrees at a young age if I'm correct. Hurt people do hurt people.
ReplyDeleteI don't think all these ladies talking thrash about this Victoria, are married or have heard stories of many African/Nigerian married women in bondage of DV. It takes A LOT - grace, courage, strength, etc - to leave your abuser. The Nigerian society is the major issue, and you and I make up the society. It's high time we create a society that is sane, positive, responsible and responsive to people's needs and well-being.
ReplyDeleteIm Curious she have a life outside social media, cos o swear she is in every bodys comment 24/7. Shes like a a comment h0e. Lady get a man get a life and stop commenting ON EVERY FREAKINg POST, makes you look lonely and desperate with no life
ReplyDelete