Hmmmmm........
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED ABOUT OLD LOVE
Thank you for the platform you've given your followers to express themselves on your blog. I dey here dey enjoy your work especially the gists in the comment section uhmm... Carry go jor, you too much!!!
I need advice from BVs. I'd also like to see your red pen oh... and please do not include my name. Thank you
An old friend of mine, Quick background... We met when we were kids. Same age.. 6years old.
His family moved out of Lagos to Abuja when I left for boarding school at 9. I went home on holiday and they were gone! This was in 1994. Come 2008, I reconnected with him via Facebook. We became tight as can be! He proposed marriage to me on the condition that I flew out to Abuja, marry him and sort his paperwork to bring him to England.
After purchasing a ticket, I re-thought it through but didnt go. I had a Prophet at the time who advised me to go ahead with the initial plan in marrying him. I had freshly broken up with my then BF so it was very early days hence I decided to not go ahead but I kept in touch with the Abuja fella.
Come 2010, I stopped communicating with him because I felt like I'd let him down. I was also dealing with some personal challenges at the time so I decided to let go of him.
He messaged me over the years but I'd ignore.
Woke up this morning to see a message from him again. I feel sad that he still cares about me.
The honest truth is, I was a free spirited person in my younger years but since I hit 30, I really changed for the worst! (and this is the truth) ie. I can't hold down relationships. I'm very terrible with people and once I start getting the feeling that they're fed up of me or I begin to feel uncomfortable, I break things off.
Back to the fella in Abj, last time he contacted me, he had the photo of a baby on his dp and I knew he'd settled down (that wasn't the reason I didn't respond) I just felt "oh well, let me just leave this guy alone. I dont want any emotional entanglement anymore"
I don't wanna look back but I know he's a good guy. We've come a long way to just throw our friendship in the dustbin but my heart just tells me to stop all communication with him. Am I being OTT (over the top) about things?
Please advise?
*Please leave him alone and stay on your own...you dey hear?You are complicated and you need to sort out yourself and since you say,it seems that he has married,then leave him alone!
You had "a prophet" but you probably did not have a Savior; Jesus.
ReplyDeleteYou allow humans with breath in their nostrils to run and ruin your life.
here is the verdict, light has come into the world but people loved darkness instead of light...you run away from the light in order to do your misdeeds in the dark and have "a prophet" approve of them.
That is not how to live life at all.
Poster, since he has moved on and has a family, please let him be and dont try to reconnect so he doesn't get distracted. I pray you get yourself sorted out...ask God to help you darl. Its not too late to develop a new healthy and rewarding relationship. Wish you the best darl.
DeleteDid you read it? Some of you are quick to judge. oga Epele.
DeleteThe thing dey tire me abeg. Prophet this and that yet problems still dey increase.
Delete@15:38 aka poster
DeleteEverything is judgment for you people
She was quick to flaunt her "prophet" and what he said, didn't she?
Some other folks are content with talking about Jesus their savior and what
he says. That is not judgment.
Move on and make Jesus your real Prophet.
Delete@15:51 No, I'm not the poster. But you need patience. she sha didn't do what the prophet told her to do right? so Calm down let her be. she is fine, she is only putting unnecessary pressure on herself. she probably has been hurt and been through too much to think relationship with people matters. I have been there and I understand how she feels. I know Jesus too but I dont come at people like y'all's favourite preacher on here. so, e farabale ma.
DeleteNdi prophet of Baal
DeleteWhether it’s the prophet that even scattered her life with probably jazz someone doesn’t know. This doesn’t seem like someone who has Jesus. You’re not calm you’re not ready to be calm and you’re not even willing to be calm either. If you let Jesus handle things for you things will be way smoother but you need to simply calm down and let Jesus lead simple. These prophets the wrong effect it brings to someone you won’t believe it. Jess’s first before anyone amen
Delete@ anon 17:00 y'all didnt read the part where she said the prophet told her to go ahead and marry him but she didnt? how did you mean the prophet spoiled her life? because she is going through a phase in her Life doesnt mean her Life has spoilt now. Did she complain to you about spoilt Life? she complained about not having a good relationship with people. some people are like that because they have been through too much but they Learn later. Y'all be coming here to spew orisirisi Like the relationship y'all have with people is divine and not toxic. e bara yin da siwaju jare.
DeleteMy life isn't ruined, I'm not very good with people hence when I met people in the past, I got carried away thinking they were for me until I found i was being disappointed over and over again; so I decided to be a 'one man MOPOL'. And I find life is much smoother when im in my own company but being the extrovert that I am, I sometimes think "uhmm, A I doing the right thing being alone? Am I missing out on what could be great relationships with anyone? Is there more for me out there?"
DeleteHonest truth is I'm really damaged from childhood. My father was extremely abusive with us all and I grew up going from one rotten relationship to another! & this is the truth
Poster 🤗💞 @your last paragraph. I asked questions about your earlier years in my comment below.
DeleteYou should consider getting professional, godly counseling/therapy.
Poster, after reading your rejoinder, I believe you need a therapist.
DeletePlease, get the necessary help before going into any relationship with any man.
I'm sending you strength, love and light 🤗🤗💖💖💕🌼🌸🌻💮
I'm currently in deliverance (for real) and have been under the care of a consultant psychiatrist for a year now. Thank you
DeleteHa, finally poster herself replied. This matter can now rest. Oh yeah judginas, can y'all see what I said about how she has been through too much? Lmao. My own father didn't abuse us. He was just too toxic For me and I mostly don't agree with him so he sees me as a rebel. And I got my own dose of toxic relationships too. But now, I have peace that surpasses all understanding and I have forgiven everyone that ever wronged me. Now I'm in my own lane. I no dey pass my boundary but I still sometimes don't agree with people on things but my intentions are good.
DeletePoster, leave the innocent man alone.
ReplyDeleteGo and sort out yourself before entering another relationship.
@Chike
DeleteWhere did she state that the man's name is "innocent?"
Is the man not the one seeking her out. He probably have ulterior
motive,if he is married, why seek her out?
The lady should run away from him but please spare us of that "innocent" tag.
😏😏😏😏
If he ain't innocent, she wouldn't be considering contacting him. She literally wrote he was a good guy. 😊
DeleteThat man wants to travel outside...People like him don’t give up... like what would he lose??
DeleteFace front.
ReplyDeleteWhat is it with some peeps toying with their one true chance at love, and later crying foul when the person moves on?
ReplyDeleteThe world should not revolve around people who think the world revolves around them.
You lost your chance, allow the legitimate person enjoy their lives and love in peace.
Don't be an OGBAGHARAIST.
Peace ✌
Man way want woman to come and marry him. Lmao.
DeletePoster that Abuja man is not your any true chance at love.
I feel you dodged a bullet.
I feel same too 16:51
DeleteLet him go babes. He's not yours to keep. The one for you will soon find you ok
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteYour own man will soon locate you, forget the abuja man, he's only interested in traveling abroad and papers. Be open to new friendship and relationships . it will end in joy for you
ReplyDeleteNne you pushed people away in your younger days. This uncle might not be the one for you but when someone else comes along try and be understanding and know in relationships you have to meet each other half way. Are you sure they were the ones making you uncomfortable, cos it seems you're struggling with something else on the inside you need to sort out quick before entering another relationship.
ReplyDeleteLearn from your past and do better. So you don't act up again.
Let him go and focus on healing yourself from the few traits you listed that is not needed during dating or marriage. So when the next guy comes along you can be ready to commit fully and enjoy your relationship or marriage.
ReplyDeleteIf after healing yourself and he is still reaching out, you can visit to just court and date so you study if he is what you want and if he ticks all your right boxes, you could give it a chance to see where it leads okay.
But remember to heal first, because if you don’t you will bleed on those who caused you no harm or they can deepen the wound further if they are not right for you and prevent it from healing successfully🙏🏾
End time poster. Na after he marry you want reconnect 😏😏😏
ReplyDeleteLet me get this straight, you're asking us if you should go ahead and rekindle your relationship with your ex, whom I'm guessing has now settled down with his own family? Is playing with fire your hobby? Smh. I honestly think you should focus on sorting out your issues and really, run far away from false prophets.
ReplyDeleteThere are men and women like this poster, they know that they are heartbreakers, they can never hold a stable relationship, but, they still go ahead to entangle themselves with innocent men and women.
ReplyDeletePoster, you know your calling in life when it comes to having a relationship with the opposite sex, please stick to that calling.
Don't go about looking for men to break their heart.
Please, leave that man alone and ignore his messages whenever he send you a message.
Just continue being yourself by living inside your eggshell.
You said it yourself that you are very terrible with people so leave him alone.
ReplyDeleteHe has a family now and reconnecting with him might cause a disconnect in his home. You don't want that on your already weak conscience.
"Weak conscience" 😂😂 confused poster.Leave another woman's man bikonu,you went off on him and he moved on! Deal with it
DeleteLike Stella said, leave him be, work on yourself first. It seems you have emotional issues,Love will still come. By the way, I see no issue here
ReplyDeleteYou need help yourself to hold down a relationship.
ReplyDeleteForget about him and don't complicate his life the more.
What do you want us to do now?
ReplyDeleteTo advise you to get hooked with a married man??? No naaaa
Except maybe he is not married and the baby ain't his.
Follow your heart poster,you know the right decision to make.
ReplyDeletePoster it is never too late to find love..Just let things be as they are..You need to work on yourself and be very free-spirited..Do a lot of soul searching and do something about them, don't just take it as that is who-you-are..It is well just take care of yourself and don't be too hard on yourself..
ReplyDeleteYour chronicle is sketchy. It lacks details and depth. What made you assume the baby on his do was his? You said you knew he'd settle down but is he married? You also didn't say. It seems you're too much in your own head and it's difficult to advise you because you didn't provide enough info about this guy other than he's a childhood friend that likes you. The only part that made me raise an eyebrow is him asking you to work his relocation to the UK (you never stated you live there either). It's like he only wants to use you for papers. Should you give him a chance? You will decide but I'm a strong proponent of women following their instincts because they are like an internal GPS or alert system warning us that something is off. Don't ignore your instincts.
ReplyDeleteDear poster,let him go and all the feelings you had! He belongs to another now,yours will come eventually but before then try and heal and open up your heart again! You need to let go of some traits too that isn't good for friendship, courtship or marriage
ReplyDeleteAll these best 🤗🤗
The conversation might be smooth on phone and online.
ReplyDeleteNone of you know the physical changes that have really affected the other over the years while growing up
Some habits too that cannot be discussed on phone but will take time to unfold, you both may not be able to deal with these...truth is you both barely know each other and getting married based on flowing well online would have been a very huge mistake
Someone you met as a child, the old times you are catching up on are nothing but childhood memories
Finally,he doesn't know you are yet to arrange youself/put yourself in order
Just move on...when you are ready for love you will know if it comes calling
You really need to work on yourself else you're going to be a mess to any other man that comes your way.As for your friend,he is now old things are passed away,focus on yourself,strive to be a better you and just be better
ReplyDeletePoster,what exactly do you need advise for? Advise on how to get back to being lovers or just friends? If its for the latter, believe me, you won't make it a chronicle because it won't bother you as much. So, yes, you want to get back to being lovers and possibly get married. Now, you said he has a baby on his dp and possibly might have settled down. Now, I think you should find out if he is actually married, but don't call him oh. Look through his facebook or ask mutual friends. If indeed he is married, my sister, keep it moving and dont ever contact him. If he is not,then try your luck. But Its been a long time, so the chances are that he has gotten hitched.
ReplyDeleteThe only good thing you can do for yourself is to seek for help to overcome whatever it is you battle with as it pertains human relationships. You will keep hurting others till you have dealt with it. There is no shame in seeking therapy. It will not change the past but it will help you do better in your next relationship. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteYou all out here judging anyhow, until you are in the poster's shoes before you know whats up. Some of you will even go close to the man without thinking twice.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, Do you but please leave the man and his family alone.
Get close to God and live life to the fullest. remember, you only live ones. Love will find you even when you are not looking.
you only live *once*.
DeletePoster, is there anything in your background (upbringing, between your parents, in your boarding school years, someone you trusted) THAT BROKE YOU (TRAUMA)?
ReplyDeleteIt's probably making you distrust yourself but trust in your 'prophet'?
Your childhood friend might not be the man for you because you really don't know each other's 'grown-up' character.You are both just hung on your childhood frienship fantasy.
Please, get to know Jesus Christ on a personal level. Do not put your trust in prophets or men/women of God.
Noone should tell you who to marry.
The Holy Spirit and God's word are there to guide and give you an answer of peace which surpasses human understanding. Shalom
Focus on your self,and forget him. Perhaps,being 30 isn't the end of the word,do things that gives you joy.
ReplyDeleteI'm currently 35years old! I noticed that as I drew closer to my 30s, I lost my 'understanding' of people (don't know if that makes sense?) I didn't understand people anymore so I just 'withdrew' from all my relationships which included my family too and sank into deep depression that I could spend weeks indoors just crying
Delete& then it suddenly hit me that all the pain I was experiencing could be traced back to my beginnings (childhood) I began having 'flashbacks' where I'd remember past events that I'd dismissed at the time (but now they are such BIG DEAL to me) because not resolving these issues at the time somehow caught up with me -I'm a shadow of my old self!
Please someone tell me what the use of this Chronicle is oo, lol
ReplyDeleteSister abeg leave the guy. Sort your emotional baggage and you will be perfectly alright. Your own man will come soon
You twisted the story again and sent to us. Allow that man be, he has moved on, start on a fresh note and i believe there is someone out there who will treat you better.
ReplyDeleteSorry poster. Just leave the guy cause you still need to work on yourself so even if you both come together, it may not work out.
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry, but a prophet?
Poster don't ever think that man loves you,he want to use you to get to abroad. Continue chating with him OYO is your name.
ReplyDeleteThank God you didn't even marry him, he proposed so you can take him to England,which man proposes to a woman with conditions? Even after marriage he still wants to try his luck with you. Be focused and work on your self, the right man will come by.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand this write up. I waka pass
ReplyDelete