STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ATTRACTED TO THE WRONG MEN
Good day Stella,
After reading the post about audio relationships, I decided to tell my story since I didn't see it on time to comment.
I'm in my early 20s but I keep on attracting guys that don't want a future together. We will call them A and B.
Guy A.
Thank you and God bless all your followers.
Good day Stella,
After reading the post about audio relationships, I decided to tell my story since I didn't see it on time to comment.
I'm in my early 20s but I keep on attracting guys that don't want a future together. We will call them A and B.
Guy A.
He's not in Nigeria ( I knew him before he traveled) . He's a very good guy. He makes out time for me even though he's busy, encourages me to do better. The only problems are that he is a typical Igbo man that doesn't allow me hear word with the age difference (10 years) even though he does it jokingly and he claims I'm rude sometimes and also he doesn't know if he wants to get married but he said if he does, it will be me.
I'm not desperate to get married at the moment but then I'm not getting younger either. He shows that he loves me but has never come out straight to say it.
I met guy B when we lost contact.
Guy B.
I met guy B when we lost contact.
Guy B.
He always makes me feel like I don't do enough for the relationship to work. He doesn't give me attention, no calls or text and he can press phone for africa. He has ghosted me once when I was supposed to spend the week with him, he just stopped picking calls and replying my messages, then suddenly he calls that he has been busy with work and all that and he is sorry.
I believed and forgave him. Fast forward to February, he started disturbing that he misses me and wants to see me. So I decided to travel and see him in March, on the way, he said that he will be at work so I should just go to my sister's house that he will pick me by 7.
7 came and passed and many days passed but I never saw him. I called and sent messages but he claimed to be busy. Alas, I had been a fool again. I went back to my base with no word from him(at a point he stopped replying my texts). I moved on with my life. Only for him to start sending messages in April and accusing me that I don't want to make the relationship work and all that bs. I was blinded by emotions and forgave him and promised to make things work.
He has lied about so many things, he didn't tell me about his divorce, I found out myself, he's quite popular so I saw it on the internet and all this guy could say is "the media can say anything".. Really?? When your pictures are there as proof. He didn't even tell me that he has a daughter, only for me to see it on ig and he claims he was not hiding it that he posts her and I'm like posting her and telling me are two very different things. That was when it really dawned on me that he doesn't take me serious so I walked out.
I'm just tired of being in relationships that won't lead anywhere, I love love and I want a genuine relationship that will lead to marriage. I just wanted to share my story to know if I'm doing anything wrong that always makes unserious guys come my way. It's getting annoying and making me worried like there is something I'm not doing right.
I'm just tired of being in relationships that won't lead anywhere, I love love and I want a genuine relationship that will lead to marriage. I just wanted to share my story to know if I'm doing anything wrong that always makes unserious guys come my way. It's getting annoying and making me worried like there is something I'm not doing right.
Thank you and God bless all your followers.
*You go in and see all the lies and stories but you still stay....
If you are not in a hurry to marry then relax and take your time...
All the signs are Crystal clear.
ReplyDeleteJust be urself the right man Will come.
1. You are in your early 20s. Aren't you way too young to acquire wrinkles with the unnecessary pressure you are putting on yourself?
Delete2. You travelled out of your base to spend the week with him. Your only ambition seems to be marriage and "love". You have nothing serious you invest your time on.
3. You forgave him again and again. Do you even value yourself or have any form of standard?
An intelligent girl in her early 20s have absolutely no business with being in the stupid scenario you painted up there. You should be ashamed of yourself and refocus your life. What are your career plans? Have you started any? If you have started any, have you grown it to the point where anyone including yourself can begin to take you serious? Remember you MUST grow and establish enough financial stability to sustain a family before you think of marriage just as it is expected of a man. Marriage is the coming together of two wholes not one whole and one half.
You can't demand to be valued when you have none for yourself. You think marriage is a career? You read on this blog everyday what full fledged resourceful women go through in marriage and what jobless house wives swallow and you still haven't learned nothing? Are you even through with school and service?
It's heart breaking seeing girls like you never learn from mistakes of past generations. And the truth is there are so many of you on this ragged table who think womanhood is all about sex, marriage and slaying on ig.
I will advise you to watch the movie ''He is not just into you'' starring Jennifer Connelly and co. Cos that is what it is..
Delete@Saphire, you absolutely nailed it 👍👍👍.
DeleteWhy waste so much energy and time on the thoughts of marriage and relationships when you can chanel it all on yourself??Work on becoming the best version of yourself, marriage is not a ticket to heaven, it's not even the ultimate..... Discover and carve an inch for yourself first before talking about marriage.
All good gifts around us are from Heaven. Relax and believe in God, you will get yours.
DeleteDear poster, so sorry you're going through all this. But one lesson I learnt only recently is that you don't have to jump into dating anyone, that is being exclusive with anyone. You should keep them as friends even when they apparently ask you out and observe their lives and patterns. The chaff will definitely fall off while the one who is meant to have your crown will be upgraded in due time through his consistency and positive actions and by then, you'd have built true friendship and not just lust which can hurt you later. Meanwhile, also remember to keep praying to God for Him to reveal "the one" to you while you do this. I think some of we ladies are afraid that if we don't give into a relationship ASAP the guy will leave but please remember that if he leaves, then he's not the one for you. I actually wish I knew this advice earlier but I know all things work together for good for they that love God and are called according to His purpose. I've not been exclusive with anyone for a while but I have peace cos I know it's all part of God's plan for my life. You're a Queen and you're the prize. Your man should make all the effort to have you in his territory. Please don't settle. My 2 cents...
DeleteI was going to talk against what saphire said but changed my mind because she truly needs the scolding. Truth is I don't waste my time advising people in their early twenties because they believe they know it all. No matter the advice given here she will still do what she wants to do. Babe even if you have attained a ground in your career how about your spirituality because if u are really close to God u won't be writing this story, even if u don't hear from God directly ur instinct would let u know u are in the wrong direction. So get closer to God please
Delete@ Sapphire, I had to go back and check her age again after reading through. You ar in your early 20s for God seek, why giving your self unnecessary pressure?
Deletesapphire.. so much knowledge in what you have dropped. Even myself learnt somethings to add to my kids and myself.
DeleteAunty relax and have fun. Those guys are not it, ghost them yourself and block them off.
ReplyDeleteYou dont need those two guys up there, go out and have a good time, look good and the right man will find you .
Don't be too desperate..
Poster please take Don's advice especially for the guy who made you do all the travelling down and ghosted you. Such a person doesn't even deserve a 2nd chance. You'd feel better afterwards. Block him from your life completely. My 2 cents...
DeleteHow can you travel all the way to see someone then he ghosts you and turns round to blame you yet you are forgiving over and over.
DeleteMust you be in a relationship? Why not focus on other things and package yourself for the right man? If you have no serious guy around you, stay single till the right one comes.
Let them do the chasing not you.
Package yourself, improve your self, get busy, have some self worth and let men seek you. While at it, seek God's face and stop giving time wasters attention. These ones are using you as play thing because they know you are naive and young.
Abroadian BV
Babe relax.... Your own man will come just be yourself.
ReplyDeletePoster wait for guy C and D. When the right one comes, you will know. So you really wanted to have something to do with guy B? Sweetheart, you should be happy you dodged a very big bullet that would've hit you real hard and take you time to recover. Just relax for now and the right man will definitely come. And plssss, no matter how desperate you are, don't ever go back yo guy A&B. Especially guy B. That dude is bad market
ReplyDeleteAk 47 kind of bullet.
DeleteI see low self esteem too.
Im even surprised she believes shes in a relationship. Do you know meaning of relationship at all. Either of these men arent seeing you talkmore of dating you. Man you are in same country and you dont see physically,he doesnt even call you or text u and u believe you are in a relationship with him.
DeleteIm sorry to say but you are very single and being single isnt a sin or anything bad. Cut off that 2nd guy especially,block him all round,hes manupulative and will keep deceiving you and holding you back. The one abroad just take him as a friend,dont invest ur heart.
Be patient dat man dat sincerely wants you will show up. No mixed signals,no keeping you guessing. He will spell out what he wants. Some men are wicked,dey will never define what dey have with u. Next thing u see their wedding video on instagram.
You are still single from your writeup and it's necessary you work on yourself esteem. You are young and have a lot of years ahead, focus on yourself and be happy, real love don't find one when you act desperate.
ReplyDeletePoster, just calm down. When the right person comes along, it would feel perfect. You just haven't met the right person.
ReplyDeleteTake a break. You are putting so much pressure on yourself. Just breath! All good things will come.
ReplyDeleteTrue! She needs to give herself a breather and have fun while also building herself, mentally, emotionally and financially. Don’t be in a hurry to get into something you just might regret.
DeleteKindly take a breather and just enjoy life. The right time and man will come in due time.
Honestly, I don't understand the unnecessary pressure.
DeleteAbroadian BV
Enjoy Your early twenties , when you meet the right one , you will know and please don't ever go back to guy B .
ReplyDeletePoster go and read 'What a time to be alone'. Its written by a woman in her 20s like you who has learnt how to live and value herself without a man.
ReplyDeleteA is a Bush man. B is toxic and gaslit you. I wonder what you have achieved for yourself in life yet to be this desperate (but claiming bit to be) for marriage. You travelled to see a man on what basis? Of course he'll disrespect you. He's using you to catch cruise.
I travelled to see a man and he never disrespected me.
DeleteA bad man is a bad man. Nothing wrong with a woman travelling to visit or a man travelling to visit.
This one she went to visit just happens to be a terrible person.
There are exceptions yo everything in life, still doesn't mean it's not recommended to travel to see a man.
DeleteA is not a bushman, infact the only thing wrong with A is that he isn’t sure he wants to get married
DeleteNo one is doing you a "Favour" by marrying you..
ReplyDeleteMarriage is more of true friendship and partnership with the aid of constant communication;and unfortunately you don't have any of the above with both men..
If you get married to any of the above men;it will end in platinum tears..
Be free and keep living your life;the day you meet your husband,there won't be room for any doubt or advice..
Men are naturally programmed to be head over heel when they are in love and would always want to impress the lady..
@MARTINS
Bless you Martins. Poster i was once like you and if there is anything i'd tell anyone in their 20s is to relax and enjoy life, life would happen when it would. You see all these things you worry over and fret for you'd someday laugh over them.
DeleteYou need to love yourself and call your shots that way you can perceive BS from afar and cut them off immediately. Don't let anyone walk in and out of your life as they please or call the shots in your life cause you want love. Love would find you, but you have to know it to recognize it else you miss it..
Both A and B are not for you. Let them go, channel your energy into yourself and something else that brings you joy, you'd attract love when its time, everything has a season. Stay blessed.
May
So apt, poster take this advice and be warned
DeleteThank you very much. Poster go for this.
DeleteYou said you're in your early 20s? Baby geh chill, love with the right person would definitely find you.
ReplyDelete2 things I've learnt not to rush:
*True friendship &
*True love.
You totally nailed it Sandra.Poster,finding true means loving yourself unconditionally by walking away from crap,you are not the problem dear. Chanel your energy towards building yourself and the right man is sure gonna come along.
DeleteYou are in your early 20s like you said so why the hurry and heavy thoughts of serious relationships and marriage??? abi did you lie about your age??
ReplyDeleteThe GuyB has seen how naive, desperate and maybe also how thirsty for marriage/relationship you are, that is why he keeps taking you for a fool, relax babe, you've seen all the evidences of the both of them not being serious or being into you, rest my dear, real true love will locate you, and you won't have to be wondering if you're doing anything wrong cos you're not!
Chill nne, focus on other things, leave yeye men alone.
love yourself, build your carreer and confidence, the right man will definitely come when you least expect
DeleteExactly !
DeleteYou were meant to spend the week with someone, he ghosted you, came up with a silly excuse, you forgave him and continued. Then it happened again, this time you even traveled all the way. I can excuse you the first time but the second time was the clue for you to move on.
ReplyDeleteI remember sometime in 2016, I met a guy on my way back from my ICAN lectures who gave me a lift all the way to my house, claimed he drove past, saw and liked me and came just to get to know me. We exchanged contact and started chatting. He kept asking me when we could hang out and I kept postponing because of my exams. Finally, I wrote my exams and he asked again and I gave him a date. This guy didn't show up, no call, no text. I too just ignored like nothing happened. Few days later, he chatted me up and was acting like everything was ok and I confronted him about standing me up. He claimed he felt sick, had ulcer and was hospitalized and that he was sorry, he should have let me know. I just said "okay" and that was it. I stopped chatting him up, lived my life and till sometime late year, someone chatted me up and was like, my dear friend how are you? I just asked pls who is this? That was the end of the conversation.
The point of my story is, sometimes it is good to just treat people like they treat you so they don't feel too important.
👌👌
DeleteApt 🤗. Bottom line is high self esteem,a lady that isn't confident in herself is gonna do otherwise.
DeleteGbam, no time. I don't know what she is forgiving.
DeletePoster these men are not husband materials, not even ⅛ yard.
ReplyDeleteThe right one will come along and you'll not need to struggle for it to work.
These two men you described are NO NO NO NO. You ain't in a relationship yet.
ReplyDeleteDon't put yourself under unnecessary pressure, relax, the best and right man will come. Calm down dear. I wish you well.
ReplyDeleteYou are too young to be concluding that you attract the young men. Chill and the right man will come. Ensure your Self-esteem is on A game always though.
ReplyDelete*wrong
DeleteJust take your time baibay 😘😘
ReplyDeleteGuy B will never be the one. Like Efe said, take your time darl.🤗
Deletewhy are you complaining about bad relationship when you are not in a hurry to get married? Relax, take out time to build yourself. Some day true love will find you, you are still very young and maybe your attitude is childish.
ReplyDeletebefore someone can tell you certain things about their past you should have earn like 80% of their trust. I am not saying he should hide such vital issue to you but is not easy for someone to open on about a divorce because of the ind of society we are in.
Wising you all the very best.
Hi bvs.I will go back to read. I'm working on my blog ID
ReplyDeleteDo I have a blog ID now. Hope it worked
ReplyDeleteYaassss Red wine
DeleteBoth men are not interested in you. Guy A is a mature man who had told you he's not ready to get married but when he wants to, it'll be you. Don't be deceived. Some of my male friends (not boyfriends, we never dated) told me those words but lo and behold, I got IVs for their wedding to someone else. Just friend zone Guy A.
ReplyDeleteAs for Guy B, don't even friend zone. Block that one. It's highly disrespectful of him to ask you to travel to his base and not even see you. BLOCK HIM.
Be patient and use this time to develop yourself. When the right man comes, you won't need to be sending chronicle to ask us. There'll be no doubt in your mind of his intentions.
Relax. The fight man will come.
ReplyDeleteI feel you poster.
ReplyDeleteYou claim you aren’t in a hurry to settle down, but your write up isn’t saying same tho. If you aren’t in a hurry, you’d see that both men are equally not in a hurry to settle down too. Not only aren’t they ready to settle down, they also don’t want a serious relationship.
Guy A have stated what he wants... it’s left to you to know if you want to date for fun. But don’t wait on him to change his mind...cause he may do that in another 10 years.
Guy B is totally not it. Infact have it that you never dated him so you won’t be counting him as someone you dated. My sister married a divorcee and that was the first thing she said he mentioned when they were getting to know each other...Don’t let anyone tell you he was finding it hard to spit it out that’s why he didn’t mention he was divorced and with a kid. Asides that tho, all indications shows guy B isn’t serious and a player...if he wants something serious to do with you, he’d mention the important part of his life: his divorce and his kid.
Don’t play yourself. It’s better you give yourself time.... there’s nothing wrong in wanting to be in a serious relationship. Marriage in mind or not.
Take care.
You don't love yourself at all cos when you do,all this will change..A man that loves you must go out of his way to please you,not you running after him whenever he said"baby ,it's your turn now oya come".learn to make decision and stick to it and see how you ll command respect from men
ReplyDeleteHaha We all dated a GuyA in our twenties naa. Just like in your case he hammers about age, in my case he kept hammering on our different states (He's Anambra, I'm Imo) and also said he doesn't believe in marriage and won't marry. Of course he's married now.. to someone else. As for GuyB, he has absolutely no regards or respect for you. A guy like that will choose 1000naira over you...if you're ever jailed he will never bail you, he will leave you there to rot. Guy is manipulative and selfish, so unbothered by you. Do not ever date someone so unkind.
ReplyDeleteBabygehl, the two both of them are not it. Leave them and face your career. Enjoy the wait. You're looking for the one? I'll tell you a secret..the one is Christ. He's the only one that can bear all your burdens, no man is capable. He has good plans for you and will grant you wisdom to swipe left on these men and also wisdom to make good decisions. But will you be patient?
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
Delete🙄
ReplyDeleteGuy B is a no no poster.. Nawa for u oo,someone all these to u n u still forgave him u said? All the signs are there that d guy no give a damn about u.. Just let him go n move on with ur life
ReplyDeleteGuy A is also showing u d signs that if u marry him d marriage no go last
Just clam down n wait,don't rush okk because u are still young
Guy B is definitely a married man or still living with his so called divorced wife.
ReplyDeletePoster, just relax and take your time.... The right man will surely come and when he comes, trust me you will know.
ReplyDeleteyoung lady fix your self esteem
ReplyDeleteYou say u are not desperate for marriage but you give off vibes that say otherwise. Just calm down u will meet other guys and please fgs don't settle.
ReplyDeleteThat Mr.B shouldn't have access to you anymore,that allow people to take you for granted.
She really needs to work on herself...
Deletefocus on building your self esteem and confidence.
ReplyDeleteGirl...you can do better,like seriously..???calm down,when it's your time you won't need to fret
ReplyDeleteYou should block MR B.... immediately
ReplyDeletePoster its not about forming saint oooo...but at this age....you should be more preoccupied with self development..you should be curious for knowledge and money....I am in my mid twenties....relationship should be somwhat shallow on your list.. If it comes, fine....if it doesn't then fine..but most importantly.. What you owe yourself is a sucessful career and a beautiful life....with or without a partner
ReplyDeleteListen! focus on your yourself and the right mind will find you
Mhen..I was already drained reading all this relationship stories...
If you continue this way what will happen when you're 35-40
Girl take it from someone that has been with what you described Mr B as , he is a no go area. Looking back sef he wouldn’t show up and the next day act like all is well. When I brought up the matter he would start crying Too much to type but no energy. nobody begged me to leave
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in my twenties, I dated type B. Gosh, that guy was evil. Constantly ghosted me and ended up dumping me. Pls run from both men
ReplyDeleteYour still a child, biko have fun and enjoy your youth. Mr. B is messed up and shouldn't be entangled in his messed up life.
ReplyDeleteBreak free from the both of them and build your self esteem.
Babe,you better calm down
ReplyDeleteEnter your comment...just relax....the right man will come.
ReplyDeletePoster, none of them love you. Pls ignore them.... Don't force them.
ReplyDeleteWhat's this?y'all be reading Chronicles all year round but keep sending the same thing, exactly what advice do you expect us to give you?the writing is on the wall
ReplyDeleteYou are too desperate, kai
ReplyDelete