STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
FAMILY BAGGAGE
Stella greetings to your government! I must say you do a marvelous job, here and your importance can't be over emphasis, thanks for making this blog a place most comfortable for us all. Remain blessed wonder woman.
Please Bv's I need your helps from your never ending wealth of knowledge, I have 3 siblings, I made the number 4, I'm the only daughter and also the last born, our dad is late and it's just us and our lovely mom now.
Now to my gist, my elder brother, who is the second child has become a torn on everybody's flesh in our family, he married a woman who is not a graduate against everybody's advice he kept saying she is the one he loves even when we try to make him understand that these days resources of home management should come from both spouse he said he can manage and she is the one he loves mom later intervened then, and tell us to leave them alone..
Immediately after wedding, my brother lost his job, everything became very tight for them, so all of us, started carrying their load with the little we can, I called my SIL, and advised her that since her husband no longer has a job that she should hold on first on childbirth that I can take her to my doctor to help her out, she said okay , then got home told my brother who later called me to call me a witch that I want to destroy his home, that don't I know children are heritage from God? That he has seen that I'm the one that the devil sent to destroy his home, I jejely apologised and faced front.
Fast forward to 4 years later then have three children, the load became too much for I and my immediate elder brother, Because my brother is not even bothered about looking for a job anymore, whenever we tell him of a new vacancy we've found, he will brush it off with the excuse of "it's not my profession" that he only need Job under his profession, which is really hard these days, when we decided to leave him to his fate and not help anymore, he cries to our mom that we've abandoned him and he is dying of hunger.
Mom in turn start crying on the phone that we don't love our brother anymore that we've abandoned him, she will even give her allowance to him and prefer to remain in hunger.
So my immediate elder brother and I decided to raise business money for them we asked my brother which business he would like to start, he said no business at all, that he is not interested, then we asked his wife she said "buka" 😳
Okay nice one at least she has a business in mind ::::
My brother and I both raised 500k for her, we told her to buy fridges and add selling of drinks to the food cooking business.
2 months ago my brother said he wants me to go and visit so I can check how the business is moving then I travelled to their location "as the government survey" that I am.
I got there my people oh, lo and behold! There is no business!
When I asked SIL what happened to the money and if she was robbed, she said no, that when she collected the money from us she gave it to her husband to bank for her 🙆😳😳😳 and now the money is just remaining 130k...
then I asked her if she thinks my elder brother and I pluck money, or does she think we can abandon them like our eldest has done, then she knelt down and started crying.
I don't even know what to do, she is even pregnant again and almost 7 months gone! On my way home I called my mom and reported everything to her, I won't lie I shouted a lot at her because all this is her fault to begin with.
Now my immediate elder brother has said he has wasedh his hands off them.
Bvs what do you think we should do? Because I know my mother will come to beg for them again especially now that SIL is pregnant. Stella and Bv's what should we do!? Because honestly I am tired And totally exhausted!
I'm so sorry for my long story, I just wanted you all to understand the story to an extent.
What you should do?Wash your hands off them let them FIND THEIR WAY::IF HE DOES NOT SEE MONEY TO EAT;HIS BLOKOS WILL NOT STAND TO BE MAKING BABIES LIKE A RAT......or you want to also start taking care of their grand children?There must be a time when you say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!
Wash your hands and leave them.
ReplyDeleteEvery givers should set a limit because the takers won't stop coming.
You have done your best, unless if you don't have a plan, you can continue to shoulder their responsibilities.
Your brother and his wife are selfish, wicked and silly ! Wash ur hands off them let them use the remaining to start frying yam and akara .
DeleteInfact I dnt know why am reading this.
DeleteMadam do you pluck money from the tree??. He married her and obviously they are so comfortable becos both your brother and the wife have seen maga dey exploit everyday. Madam pls ask yourself these questions.
1. How long do you intend to continue feeding two grown ass adult??
2. Do u intend to also train their kids?? Becos obviously your brother get the money anytime he cry crocodile tears believing your mom will speak for him and he will continue sleeping. While you and your brother pluck money and give them
Madam face your front! You have tried enough. STOP ENCOURAGING LAZINESS IN YOUR BROTHER! I put that in capital letter becos you are among the people making his life miserable. Stop fishing for him. When hunger beat am, e go stand up go work. Your brother is not disabled so I wonder why you allow him sleep and keep giving birth becos they are both jobless. Madam hunger will not kill him if you dnt give him. Na only yash hunger dey lean!🙄.
When you stop and face front! Him and his lazy wife will wake up from slumber and stop giving birth like rabbit.
Mrs omemma. Face front and leave them.
Na wa. Please wash your hands away from them,and throw the water into a flowing river. God forbid bad thing.
DeleteSee hypocrites asking her to wash hands for your brother, but refuse to condemn online beggars asking for palliatives left right and center and In turn the so call celeb that has broke family members will post give away on social media to garner followers.
DeletePoster it’s because you don’t have your own kids that’s why you get power for extended family, wait till urs start coming then your brain will reset.
Poster I think you guys should leave them alone, then stop sending cash to your mum, rather provide all her need in the actual material thing she wants, if not your mum will be the one starving.
DeleteSome siblings need to learn the hard way so that they can sit up
DeleteWhat a terrible situation, poster don't fall for your mum emotional blackmail,she can keep giving them her own money and spoonfeed them too
DeleteAnon 16:41 is everything ok at home ?
DeleteI don't know why you're contradicting yourself here now.
Madan anon 16.41. What do you mean by that. You mean people who cant fed for themselves during the lock down should not ask?? How does it relate with the fundamental subject topic om ground. Shm
DeletePoster, if you don't stop now, YOU WILL LOSE SIGHT OF YOUR OWN DREAMS! If you are single, this burden will ruin your opportunity to court and marry.
DeleteYou will not only feed, clothe, them and pay their medical bills but you will train those children through university.
I KNOW THIS! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
You guys need to stop now,when you have your own family he will start saying your spouses mad you change. Explain everything to your mum before him and let her see reasons why your brother need to be a man now, his needs we will continue to increase except he doesn't have plans for his children.
DeletePOSTER READ THIS and YOU WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO.
DeleteGenesis 49 vs 14 - 15
14Issachar is a strong donkey,
lying down between the sheepfolds.
15He saw that his resting place was good
and that his land was pleasant,
so he bent his shoulder to the burden
and submitted to labor as a servant.
YOU ARE LIVING IN BONDAGE TO YOUR BROTHER AND HIS WIFE!
Anon 18:24 and Don : I know with my comment I done scatter table way una sleep on top. It relates in every sense, beggars have one thing in common which is begging. They don’t have to be sick, sorry or broke. Begging is a mental issue and it’s dehumanizing . If you feel sorry for who you don’t know how he or she lives , why not feel for your own blood? And why will a full grown man or woman not be able to feed? Do you think dangote, bill gates and others carry money come from their mama belle or from another planet? We live in a resourceful planet use your head and you will
DeleteNever be hungry or be a beggar. Lazy bunch!!!
20.19, you are still not making sense o.
DeleteAnon 20:19 if you have a problem, let me know, I csn be of help to you.
Delete9u can send me mail, it's like you're not in thevright frame of mind
You guys need to take a stricter approach.
DeleteTake a break from supporting them for at least a year, let them go and hustle for their large family.
When he gets a job and you can see some level of seriousness, you guys can support from time to time but first he must get a job and start fending for his family.
I have no issues helping a struggling sibling but you can't be idle, I will not be solely responsible for an adult's upkeep when he is not disabled or sick.
If your mother wants to cry blood let her do please.
DeleteYou can't use your youth to struggle and feed lazy adults.
Single lady dey buy house and become land lady o. Just stop , stop and stop plss.
There is limit to every thing
He doesn't even love you guys
Gbam! Poster abeg. Close your eye and leave them be. Haba! You have helped them enough. Even more than enough. I don't think God will even be happy that you are aiding them to be lazy and useless to themselves. Very sad. Some people get coconut head and they like to learn the hard way or they won't stop. Look almost similar issue happened to my brother. One wild babe that he was crushing on in secondary school that never used to give him eye then just because he started making money at his well paying job she came back pushed his current gf out of his life and got married to him without the knowledge or consent of the family. Imagine! Very evil girl and wild girl. Noone approved of her as gf , not even his friends. She knowingly isolated him from everybody, made him move to another place in another expensive neighborhood far above his means and far away from where his family/friends were just because she felt it will advance her own "career)" that was how my brother started begging my parents for money regularly. Someone that is working in a well paid job. Why? The girl wants to go for shopping spree or travel or the Bills of that house are too expensive. My dad got tired and started lending the money to my bro expecting pay back. He couldn't even do that. He became so lean and sick looking. The girl really sucked that boy dry o. Emotional, psychological and physical abuse everyday. The girl has one mental disorder like that n was on drugs. My dad ultimately gave up on him and stopped sending money. My mom ofcourse had pity and continued sending small money she could. It took a while o but finally my brother's eyes cleared when he was the downward spiral his life has taken. He divorced his wife. Noone expected it. Not even her. Of course she was angry. That was how the lies from her started. Accusing him of domestic violence, spreading lies about him. I am sure the guy has learned a serious lesson that he will never make such a mistake in his life! Sometimes you have to leave people alone to learn things the hard way. Some people have coconut head. When we were talking it was making him to fall more into his forbidden love. The guy dey form love in Tokyo until we removed the crutches and he saw what real life was. Mssxheww
DeleteLeave them alone to suffer and do not be blackmailed by your mum to help them...some people need to starve and suffer before they can have sense....and from the look of things your brother and his wife have become too used to you feeding them that they do not want to hustle for a source of livelihood.
ReplyDeletePoster wash your hands off them. Let them go and sort themselves out and once your mom comes with her emotional blackmail just blank her out. She's an enabler.
DeleteWash your hands off them and face front.
DeleteSee if you really want your mother to was her hands too from them,start tasking your mother ,start asking her for money and start telling her that you're looking for money and watch how that will reset her brain.
While at it,ask this your brother and his wife if they can loan you some money and keep calling them to ask if they can help you borrow ,then and only then will you see their true colours and they will avoid calling you or receiving any of your calls because they will think you want to ask them for money,case close.
Start planning for yourself if you don't have a family of your own and start investing, its because you don't invest that is why you're still sympathetic towards them.
All man for himself,God for us all.
Slash the allowance you give your mum and buy more of foodstuffs for her. Then be forming you haven't been paid at work even to your mum. The truth is that they will move on from you,God forbid if anything happens to you and your brother, they will live their lives so start learning now
DeleteThat your brother needs deliverance. Your mother can enter prayer on his behalf. I have not seen how a man(a graduate for that matter) will sit comfortably waiting for people to take care of him and the family. Even the wife own dey her body, husband no work, wife no work and they are just breeding kids.. it's like you have a soft heart and may not be able to take the harsh stand (which is what they deserve) of Washing your hands off their matter.
ReplyDeletePlease save for your own future, don't carry their load on your head to the your own detriment.
Save veryyyy well and give them the little you can afford to spare.
Honestly very strong deliverance cus curses are real. Same guy that had a job I’m sure it’s the same thing that happened to the wife he refused to go to school even when help probably came her way. Now she married your brother that same character and way of thinking entered him. Mehn May the lord God in heaven have mercy on his people.
DeletePoster you guys should stop given them money elsr both will continue to be lazy. Ask yourself this question, if the table is turn around can your brother render such help to you? Let your mum cry if she wants after all cry doesn't kill. Invest in yourself before marriage ad you may not have such opportunity again.... There is nothing wrong if you own a property as a single lady. Take it from some one that have experience. My ability to invest and buy some valuable material things back then when I was single is what is helping me in my husband house today.
DeleteListen and listen carefully, wash your hands off them (I will only advice you sometime send gifts to their kids)
ReplyDeleteYour brother and his wife are tied from the same rope and they will never change. They became very dependent/reliance on you guys because you guys opened your arms too freely.
Let them be and face your life. You owe them nada
You guys are the one enabling them. Wash your hands off them, when they suffer for a month, my dear their brain will reset.
ReplyDeletePoster,you and your brother should let them be. Tell your mother to stop meddling in this matter.
ReplyDeleteHow can a man be so wasteful, lazy and inconsiderate likewise the wife??
Give them space let reality dawn on them , then maybe their brains will reset..
I wanted to also call you a witch when i read the part where you told her to hold on first on childbirth and taking her to see your doctor...
ReplyDeleteYou guys should leave them alone na. Don't you have your own family to take care of too? If they like, let them give birth to a football team, they are grown ass adults and should be wise enough to know what's good for them. Since they still have 130k left, they should find something to do with it if they have common sense
And when they finish giving birth to their football team& no money to pay for their school fees..
DeleteShey you go support their lazy ministry??
Because when those kids are hungry& starved, people like you will be the person to guilt trip his siblings that they do not want to help a struggling brother.
Mchewwwwwww!;;
Very unnecessary to call her a witch. She was only advising the SIL to put off having children until their finance had stabilized. Nothing wrong with that. 4 children down the line the brother and his wife are still depending on his siblings.
DeleteWhy would u want to call her a witch when she was right to have suggested that. Ofcourse they knew the whole burden will fall on them.
DeletePoster, you people have tried your best. At least no one in their right senses will blame you if u eventually wash off ur hands.
Imagine wasting someone's hard earned 500k in this naija economy.
Both ur bro and ur sil no just get sense at all. 500k would have set up a manageable buka in a good enough location but no, they probably squandered it on things that can't help them.
Lolz🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 na really football team. Why them no go breed plenty children when both of them see free 500k the gbedu without stress. Even condom your elder brother no fit buy from the 500k. Them nah get stress na. All they do is have sex and sleep why you and your brother keep slapping them with cool cash. Omo you they try o.😂.
DeleteMadam when your mummy try to blackmail you, wave it off. They get your mumu button.
@Anony 16:15😂😂😂😂, you no well I swear! OMG.
DeleteWhen did your Elder Brother, Became your Responsibility? Hope you have Saved enough for your future Children
ReplyDeleteNo let her keep doing onyeoma Cy
DeleteSorry to say this poster, but you, your siblings and especially your mum are enablers.
ReplyDeleteYou have been rewarding his bad behavior that’s why he hasn’t changed.
See how you’re stressing over sex that you didn’t have.
Receive sense and face your front, if your mama decides to be giving them the money you people give her, then only send foodstuff home. Stop enabling this rubbish.
I dunno how u people comfortably blame people that choose to show love.
DeleteInstead of putting all the blames on the dumb brother and wife, a good person too will come and carry blame.
Issokay
Eka when common sense is not use in showing the love! It will bring issues later. Do you know something about giving to lazy people?? The day you dnt give! Instantly you become their worst enemy because they believe you have to keep giving. Especially the ungrateful lazy ones like his brother and the wife.
DeleteLike I said earlier. You and your family are the ones making him lazy. Stop giving him and see if those two legs wont stand up and look for job.?
One adage in Youba says,if you see a place to place your hands,you will stay longer in toilet(Shit). The solution is remove your whole body from their family not your hands alone.
ReplyDeleteParents should start teaching their children how they should be financially independent.
ReplyDeleteI have not find the strength to send Stella my own story.
You will be working hard to make money but it will be as if you are not achieving anything.
Entitled arrogant people need tough love and titanium hand
DeletePlease having done this
Lock up
I can't abide stupidity from adults creating problems for others to solve
Next time buy the things for the business yourself,pay for the rent of the new shop yourself but that should be after she gives birth.
ReplyDeleteThere should be no next time....four kids without a job??? And the husband isnt even ready to lift a finger to work....mehn let them invest the remaining 130k or face the consequences of their laziness
DeleteLock up
DeleteNo useless unproductive emotional blackmail should be entertained from a mother who indulges bad behavior
Na you won contribute another one abi? You cant force a horse to drink water. Even If she open a store for her . They will sell for two weeks and close it down eating all the capital. You know why? The money invested into it was not their sweat.😂
DeleteLol... Are they babies? Poster should leave them alone for now and focus on other things biko
DeleteNa washing hand things. Your brother who is supposed to be the one helping his siblings is the one misbehaving. He is not a toddler. My worry is that those innocent children who didn't ask to be born will suffer. As siblings, we were brought up to be independent of each other that before you call anyone to ask for help you would have tried your best. Let my younger sister call that she needs money if I don't have I will look for because it almost always never happens. What your mum is doing is not the best as she is only an enabler. I would have washed my hands off a long time ago God help me.
ReplyDeleteYour immediate elder bro has washed his hands off the, but you are still undecided. Maybe you can continue if your are led to but I think it will be best to leave them alone. Let them face the consequences of their decisions. If you keep listening to your mum, you will abandon your life and family if any for your brother and his family and is that what you want to do?
ReplyDeleteI am so angry reading this chronicle! Stella I concur with your red pen!
ReplyDeletePoster ignore them and start saving that money for your future use.
Invest invest invest!!!
Only give them 5k monthly and reduce the amount you give your mum too.
Claim things are difficult for you and act accordingly.
They are not serious! ! Imagine birthing kids they cannot sustain!!
Your sil is not intelligent, soon now your bro will abscond to go find a wealthy woman he will live with. That's how they do!! I've seen this happen a lot!!
Women you don't have any business birthing kids you cannot cater for when the chips are down!
We keep hammering it to women because they are usually the ones saddled with the task og raising the kids alone when the man misbehaves/absconds.
It's rare seeing a woman leaving/abandoning her kids to move on. So please borrow yourself sense in your dealings inside life!!
This is why the 1st advice i always give women is STOP GETTING PREGNANT!. Eventually things always get easier as children grow but if you keep having more, you remain in your hole!
DeleteBeing a graduate does not guarantee success. Your brother is lazy, and being a graduate has not obviously changed that. You should have asked your brother if he thinks you pluck money from trees, instead of his wife. Your brother is the problem. Deal with him and leave his wife alone. Stop enabling your brother to be lazy. Don’t you guys have responsibilities?
ReplyDeleteEventually you will need to stop giving but not now. See them through those period with warning that you'd hands off after a time period
ReplyDeleteYou better wash your hands off them. Both husband and wife are same thing. Unserious people.
ReplyDeleteHmmmn, I won't tell you to abandon them totally,after the delivery of her fourth child take her to the hospital without her knowledge let them do family planning, codedly for her,if possible without the husband knowledge,enroll her in skill acquisition programme like tailoring ,catering ,hair styling etc. Once she is through with the training open shop from her under the pretext that it is a loan from a micro finance bank or cooperative and make sure you make her join local contribution to pay for the 'loan' so that she sits up,open a bank account for her to pay in any excess money instead of giving it to her hubby to save for her. My dear the truth is even if you abandon them,those children will track you down and be a burden to you or your own children in future,do all you can humanly possible to make them stand financially on their feet,its not easy though, but I pray you find it in your heart to still draw out from the milk of human kindness to elevate the financial plight of your brother's family. Always remember givers never lack.
ReplyDeleteHow can you advice her to do family planning for aomeone8 wife without her consent ? Do you think you're making sense at all ?
DeletePoster no try this nonsense o.
She would also help her go to the shop every day, and also help her be serious with the business, help he hustle for customers.....u are enabling the lazy bunch...hiss..like the poster doesnt have her own life to live....she should spend it all on a lazy and irresponsible couple right.....hiss
DeleteYour advise no follow. Doing family planning without their knowledge. Na wa o. Until they tell the whole generation how evil you are. Madam poster jump and pass this advise.
DeleteWhich doctor will agree to do family planning on someone without them knowing? Abi to lose medical license don dey hungry the doctor?
DeleteCopy cat read your comment again. WRONG❗Spoonfeed and micro-manage an adult❓
DeleteCan you do all that you advised this poster to do?
Can you abandon your life and lead a healthy adult by the hand through life?
See, the children are the parents' headache. Poster is not obligated to them. They can't trace her if she doesn't go out of her way to cater for them.
The sister in-law comes from a family too. Why not go milk her own parents and siblings dry?
Let her brother, his wife and his children lay on the bed of laziness and poverty the made for themselves.
Poster's mom should come out of retirement and work to feed her lazy son and his family! After all, she is the one that raised him to be lazy and foolish!!!
POSTER, FACE YOUR LIFE 💯%!
In other words, she should mother and father two grown adults and their battalion of hungry kids as if she does not have her own life. If they hunt you down and you don't drop a penny, won't they go and find another mugu who would drop for them? Poster, better don't take this advice or you would waste your life worshipping idols in the name of being a good sister. Even God is fine with wasting a large percentage of his creation in hell fire so who are you to carry the burden of your brother's clan? Let the two adults carry their cross. If the children are suffering, they can learn the lesson from their parents mistakes and succeed from afar. If it is givers never lack, give to other people who are actually in need and not lazy. Even the Bible says he who doesn't work should not eat. Stay away and let your no be no if you want to help this family and not pay to destroy them. You are carrying then on your head- when the chips are down, who will carry you?
Delete.... *they* made for themselves. (pardon the typo)
DeleteNo, do not wash your hands off them.
ReplyDeleteTell your immediate elder that there is one last thing to try.
Raise such amount again and start a business for them, employ a
trustworthy person to manage it and make returns to a dedicated account
from where you can at least give them money to feed. Make the monthly gifts
such that it will just be enough for them to feed their kids.
They will have sense after that. 🚶🏻♀️🚶🏻♀️🚶🏻♀️
You can't push someone up the ladder of success if they're not willing to climb themselves. The 64 thousand dollars question is: are they ready to live a PROSPEROUS life.
Delete......Covenant
They will never have sense.
DeleteLet me tell you this for free, they will call her every week or month to tell her the money isn't enough.
Speaking from experience. 😢😰😰😰
Poster pls ignore this advice
DeleteDon and all the anonymous b.vs,when you have children come back and tell me abandon them face your life,yen yen yen am not obliged to follow the bandwagon and shout abandon them,I didn't say she should abort when she gets pregnant in future,after all,she is a woman and she and her children will suffer the burnt of hunger the most,I will do all these things for the wife and her children not my brother, moreover the children are her nieces and nephews so what is the joy in seeing them leave in abject poverty, while the poster cruise around town in a convoy and make donations to strangers, my charity begins first at home, if you don't like my comments too bad no amount of insult, and bullying will stop me from airing my views. I know the path they have taken may not be proper, but you can't throw away the baby with the bath water out of annoyance.
DeleteAll I can say is that some people have head but don't have cap while some have cap without head. Leave the family alone, your brother will sit up after correct hunger wire him
ReplyDeleteHow will your lazy brother want to do any business when he has ‘found’ a very lucrative one, collecting money free of charge from his siblings without lifting a finger. Is he jazzing you people? You are still being sentimental and asking what to do? He is certainly using ‘command oil’ on you all and it is working.
ReplyDeleteWait o, an unemployed man and wife are birthing 4 children when even couples with good jobs are birthing 2 and are on serious birth control. Its not his fault sha, he has people that are helping him train them and also too much time at hand. I mean, the both of them stay home all day doing nothing so they have no choice than to be fucking up and down.
ReplyDeleteHusband does not have sense, wife too does not have sense... worst combo
Continue taking care of them and watch them carry the fifth pregnancy
Dear Poster, I understand your predicament. There is no easy way to abandon your sibling, especially if you have a soft heart.
ReplyDeleteMy advice is that you just do whatever you can. May God help you, amen
OBIOMA, there is an easy way. BLANK THEM. Change phone number, call mom from random pay phones (not close to home or work location). Send mom just enough monthly stipend. If she likes let her give it to son and daughter in-law then starve. EVERYBODY WILL WAKE UP!
DeleteTalking from experience.
SOFT HEART ALMOST RUINED ME!!!
Wash your hand off them. Your mum is the problem and if I'm you, I will block my mum from reaching me. No offense.
ReplyDeleteSWAG. 👌 👍👍👍👍
DeleteNo offense taken on behalf of poster. BLOCK in caps!
Some mothers are the problem their children.
Some mothers are the problem *of* their children. (typed in a hurry)
DeleteThis is the kind of result that you get when two lazy people decides to breed..
ReplyDeleteThis story sounds like my family drama!!..
Our first son is lazy & got married to a lady that is worst than him( typical example of "MATCH MADE IN HELL")..
He is comfortable with breeding like a rat & collecting mama thank you from our old mother.
He is 37years& has never given anything to our mother..
He has 5kids & those children are now living with our mother because he could not fend for them..
My mum pays their school fees & all, he is the only Anambrarian guy that I have seen that is lazy).
He is not bothered about his joblessness because he is the first son & dad has many landed properties (duplex, story buildings, etc)..
He is just waiting for Dad to kick bucket so that he can turn to landlord& inherit lands that he doesn't understand the amount of hardwork/ dedication & sacrifice that it took to acquire..
And yes, mother's enables these disgusting loafers because they are easier to emotionally blackmail..
This post gave me flashbacks & mood swings..
I pity females that are making excuses for lazy guys, tighten your seat belt, your suffer head is loading!!
Advice: Please ignore the scrub, being to available to his needs will never make him to sit up!!
Regards sis!!
Does he know if he will die before your dad? Death is not by age.
DeleteHe is actually the one wasting space and time on earth with his zero productivity.
Please, I'm NOT sorry to say this. 😩
Nne, your mother is suffering oo, tufiakwa!
DeleteAnd you said the wicked excuse of a human is an nwa Anambra?? Tueh! azigbakwa.
Can you just imagine,a grown ass man dat doesnt have a job than to be impregnating his wife.
ReplyDeleteIts not their fault at all. How will he find job when he has siblings that are bank. He and his wife will do the fuxcking,then u ppl will be feeding the children for them. No matter how many tears they shed and try and emotionally blackmail you with wailing,dont listen. Dont listen to ur mothers begging also
Leave them to face the consequences of their laziness. Your brother cant do business,only biz he can do is laying untop of his wife daily.
I would have said family should take the two eldest kids from them for u guys to look after and send to school but the parents may not agree. They can use dat as another means to get money from you.
Poster ignore the last paragraph from Bed and Roses.
DeleteLet them carry their burden by themselves.
Do not give them more than 5k monthly.
I laugh reading this comment.😂😂 You get bad mouth but you just pointed out the truth. But I disagree in your last paragraph. Make them train their kids biko.
DeletePoster, please don't give them any money before they go diabolical on you.
DeleteJust give your mom that 5k monthly stipend. If she likes, let her give it to them and starve herself.
Everyone that is 21 should be able to fend for themselves.
Poster face your front but continue to send him job vacancies, posterity will bear witness of your magnanimity towards your bro and his family.
ReplyDeleteI have one like that in my family too. They prefer to beg 20k, 50k, 40k from time to time rather than get to do something realistic to feed their families.
ReplyDeleteDon't wash your hand off them, but don't kill your self to try to help them everytime. Stop involving yourself in their matter. Just be willing to give them the small change you have when they ask.
Don't give them any huge money at any point because the way they'll finish 200k, that's how they'll finish 20k.
Remember to build your self and secure your future. Don't let family drag you down with demands, be selfish about your own needs.
It's actually a sin to enable laziness by giving money any able-bodied adult WHO HAS REFUSED TO WORK/TRADE to feed and cater for their needs.
DeleteGod will not bless you for that type of giving and you will give an account for such wastefulness.
Remember it is God that gives power to get wealth that He may establish His covenant on earth.
Matthew 25vs 26-30 Jesus called the servant with one talent who didn't increase or invest it WICKED, LAZY, UNPROFITABLE and cast him into outer darkness.
The needy in Matthew 25 v34-36 are not the lazy, idle people but those who still work but do not have enough or orphans, the sick, prisoners and stranded strangers.
giving money *to* any able-bodied
DeleteWith all due respect darling poster, your brother is foolish, inconsiderate and a lazy annoying man, WTH? To crown it all up, he married a mumu woman that only knows how to open legs and make babies like a chicken, very annoying people. In this harsh weather, someone raised 500k for them and they both refused to make good use of the money?? 😲😲😢.
ReplyDeletePlease you people have every right to wash your hands off them, they don't deserve you and your big bro👌.But then,just because of your mother that will always be a mother and over worry herself, if you or your big brother can, you take one of their numerous children, one oo! The oldest among them to live with you or your big brother, either of you can choose to take the responsibility of catering for the child,That way, you guys will have every reason and excuse to not give him one naira ever again because you're taking the responsibility of one of his child, you got your own bills to pay and you don't pluck money from any tree, even your mother will not complain again. But this is if you guys are financially capable and willing oo, if you guys can't, WASH YOUR HANDS OFF HIM, LET HIM USE HIS OVERLY ACTIVE D*** TO FEND FOR HIMSELF AND HIS FAMILY, HIS WIFE CAN ALSO USE HER VERY FERTILE WOMB OR VER***** TO ALSO FEND FOR HERSELF.Very annoying set of people.
Well she is a good material for surrogacy you know? If she is young and everything checks out. Only that they appear dubious. Sorry poster. 🤷🏾♀️
Delete😂😂😂, her husband might refuse her doing it oo, saying he does not want his wife to WORK for anyone!
DeleteYou know they must always have a reason to be lazy and dependent✌️.
Poster should only pay school fees FROM AFAR if she wishes.
DeleteIf she takes one child off them, the lazy, foolish couple will breed more children.
In fact, that will open the door for the foolish couple to visit her home and run their mouths on how she is maltreating their child.
Her brother and his wife should carry their burden jare.
TO YOUR TENTS O ISRAEL!
😂😂, Another strong point raised @Anony18:16. Dear wonderful poster, hope you're reading and learning??
DeleteMy dear sister.If whatever help you want to render will not affect your life in the slightest way,pls do it but if it will hinder or displease you,then don’t give them one kobo.One thing I have learnt in this life is never to displease myself to please anyone(apart from the my wife and kids)cos no matter what you do for people(family inclusive)it will never be enough,especially if they see that you’re in an advantaged position.
ReplyDelete👍👍👍... but remember your parents.
DeleteThey have been spoon fed for so long, press ignore because that way you will be doing them a favour o, they will definitely find their way.
ReplyDeleteMelancholy
Ur bro has entitlement mentality. If u continue, he will never be useful to himself. If u ask me, I will say u should block ur mother's number for now, since she is their mouth piece. BLOCK UR MOTHER'S NUMBER.
ReplyDeleteNne how can you advance someone to BLOCK her own mother's number, a mother that didn't do any wrong to her? Even if her mom is evil, is that enough reason to BLOCK her number?? Hiannn, oo!
DeletePoster biko don't block your mother's number or anything, you and your bro are grown adults and as such, nobody, not even your mother will force you to do what you don't want to do.
ADVICE OO, ADVICE.
DeleteWell, in this case, the bro refused to grow and her mum is forcing her to do what she shouldn't be doing. I am not advising her to block her mum permanently, but for this period until the bro gets the message that it is no more business as usual.
DeleteShe should block her mum's number cos of the emotional blackmail.Her mum should only be sent stipend and food stuffs every month.Poster you can try this for 5 months and see improvement
DeleteCHISOM poster can block her mom's number or change her SIM, then call her mom periodically from different business centres.
DeleteHer mom is using emotional blackmail and that's VERY UNFAIR.
Let her mother work or trade and feed her lazy son and his family. Let her see how much fun that burden is.
I totally agree with all your reasons.... 👍👍.
DeleteThis is my story every time my mom we call me and be crying I should not abdone my brother and wife you have three kids that you are not taking care of if they give birthday I will be the one to pay hospital bills when they ate sick they will call me to pay hospital bills and my mono I be crying if I say no now God has blessed me with my own kids this January I borrow brain I have started paying for my children education trust found with first bank. Las month when my mom called me to tell me that my brother is sick and he needed to do exlay but don't know how to tell me I just told her that I don't have money we are on lockdown a minute later the wife called me that my brother is sick and he needed to do exlay I blasted her on phone I told them to look elsewhere. Since then if I call my brother he will sounding some how my dear I don't care if anything happens to me now my children will suffer . We stopped him from giving birth after having three children from two women now he has gone to carry another woman that he wants to marry.me I'm facing my children now I don't care anymore I don't even know that I have this kind strong mind if it were before I will even borrow money to send to him. That even gave me the opportunity to tell my mom that their allowance she and my Dad will be sliced into two now if there is anything this covid did for me is it's helped in liberating me from family financial load. I am free let me start looking for money to develop my plots of land that's investment I will use to train my children.ah ah this people did not allow me to save one Kobo I build 6 bedroom bungalow for them in our village. If they say I no try make they try.
ReplyDeleteThis Chronicle is annoying abeg. Wash your hand and leg off them. What nonsense
ReplyDeleteI tell you very annoying chronicle.
DeletePoster you and brother should leave them alone..how can a grown ass man keeps depending on siblings to scale through life? if you still want to help,it should be from your own good will and not through manipulative means your Mom is using!!
ReplyDeleteSo it means that time....you gave them the 500k...there were eating better chicken pepper soup and rice...plantain and fish....because nah those kind food for cold weather they encourage pregnancy
ReplyDelete#inmyheadshaa#
😂😂😂, babe you no well! Abeg lemme, lmao.
Delete😂😂😂😂Jesus is Lord!
Delete🤣🤣🤣
DeleteYou're not well🤣🤣🤣
Delete😂😂😂😂 chai no be lie oo. Chop and gbensh, then sleep and chop again. Life is good. LG
DeleteOn a serious note...your brother deserves that girl....they both compliment each other.....two terrible people.. Allow them..they will learn on the job.
ReplyDeleteAbandon them, they will have no choice but to fend for themselves. You all need to talk sense into your mom, let her know the dangers of you guys spoon feeding them always. If after all she keeps crying and giving them her allowance then she better prepare to die of hunger and leave this stupid world already.
ReplyDeleteI have to go Anon on this one.
ReplyDeleteI am the first child of six children and our dad is late.
I practically pay through my nose for my siblings but I told them that once anyone graduates from school, I'll wash my hands off them financially.
My kid brother of 25 plus couldn't go to school and has practically frustrated every effort to make him useful.
I swore long ago not to give him a dime and I haven't spent up to 1k on him this year.
I'm a girl and I can't fathom how on earth I'm to take care of a man that is even the first son..God FORBID.
I'm taking care of his responsibilities and tomorrow he'd inherit all my dad's properties. Okay!!!
If he is too lazy to hustle, that is his biz.
I deny myself of so many things just to pay bills and I ain't gonna baby an adult ; a man at that.
Poster, your brother and the wife will keep taking your efforts for granted because they know you'll always come through.
I've got unconditional love for my siblings but not at my own detriment.
I no come this life to train any adult.
Good luck to you and your siblings.
I'm afraid it's not as straightforward as washing your hands off them because of your mum. Darling, it's exasperating, I know but it is what it is. A mother is only as happy as her "unsuccessful" or unhappy child. No matter how well her other kids are doing, a mother will never be truly happy until all her children can hold their own. Even if 9 out of 10 of her children are successful, a mother will never give up on the 1 who is unsuccessful. A father may practice tough love and ignore a child refusing to pull his/her weight but most mothers will always find a way to support a child lagging behind. Clearly, your mum is one of such mums.
ReplyDeleteI saw this coming as I read that the cash was handed directly to your SIL. You don't give cash to such people, you set up whatever business they desire, furniture and put other appliances in place, then give her the keys to the place and hope she doesn't run the business aground. Worst case scenario, the business fails and they start selling off the appliances, at least the money used to set her up will not be a complete waste and everybody will know she once ran or attempted to run a business, just for posterity sake.
Sweetheart, my advice is, give yourself some time to recoup, have a chat with your other brother to raise funds again. Call a family meeting and let the family know this will be the last time your brother and his wife will have this kind of assistance. Let your mum know how this affects you too. She may be too focused on your brother to realise that it isn't easy for you to keep supporting your older brother's family. Set up the business by yourself as best you can and let her move in and start the business. Perhaps, this time, no looking in on them so you don't get your heart broken again. Leave them to find their feet. If you must turn your back on family, do it with a clear conscience that you have gone above and beyond. The annoying thing with such siblings is, they somehow survive when they are completely ignored but as long as your mum is alive, that will never happen. Good luck sweetie and thanks for sharing.
Ronalda if she follows your advice, she will do it for the next 18 years (until) the unborn baby leaves high school. Trust me because I know.
DeleteTHE BEST TIME TO STOP IS NOW!
Ronalda why not contribute the next money. Do you think money fall from tree. Abeg this advise no follow.
DeleteMadam the problem you have is just your mum not your brother and his wife,if you and your rest siblings were in this condition your mum won't be that worried.she simply loves your her first fruit more than anyone of you guys.she will continue blackmailing you guys for his golden child.what you guys are doing is like giving a drugg addict money anytime he cry's.
ReplyDeleteGive them space for a year and see what will happen.
That’s the second son not the first.
Deletewell said
DeletePoster,I weep reading your chronicle cuz I can relate very well what your brother and his wife is passing through. Believe me even if you give them 100m the Money will still disappear unless the root of the problem is tackled. I am talking out of experience, only a few can understand.
ReplyDeleteNow to be honest with you,what ever that's happening to your brother is from the wife,don't get me wrong, its not the wife's fault, its her foundation. I am talking out of experience. Immediately my husband married me,his business scattered, we buy 200# food,add water so that it can enough me, hubby and kids. Nothing that hubby does prospers. His younger sister and brother helped but no result. They keep saying we don't knw how to manage.
I later went for deliverance, things started changing, but once I stop midnight prayers, things goes back to bad and even worse. I will not lie,violence prayers work wonders. But howvlong do in have to continue chasing demons at nights.
Someone directed me to aba,where I went a settled my water spirit husband who was responsible for all my misfortune. Hubby is doing well now
Talk some sense into your mom. Like let her know you have tried. Don't fight him ooo, just move on. Give if you can but stop enabling him. We said same to my sister who married a parasite and chose to do nothing. 3 kids now, she's the father and mother to 4(including her husband) kids.
ReplyDeleteI'll rather you pay the children's fee directly. Buy clothes or gift for the KIDS! Let their lazy parents sort them.
As in,the both of them deserve eachother. God forbid,wash your hands off their case
ReplyDeleteMadam poster, receive sense abeg
ReplyDeletePoster you and your brother are 'mother and father Abraham' that's why you give so much at the slightest emotional blackmail by your mum.
ReplyDeleteWell-done poster for your actso kindness. You didn't mention anything about having a family of your own.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend that has invested all her savings from her meagre salary to support her older sister and three kids after the husband abandoned them in Benin. This lady in question has halted all her dreams of going back to school and having her business. In the 5years I have known her, she hasn't said anything about settling down. Her sister is always advising her.
PLS POSTER FOCUS ON YOUR LIFE, BUILD YOUR SELF, HAVE YOUR OWN KIDS, GET A HOBBY, LOL. A drowning man can't save anyone.
The sad thing is, tomorrow her sister and/her kids will insult her and mock her if she remains single.
Delete18:58 you have said it all.
DeletePoster, I said it earlier up there, YOU WILL LOSE SIGHT OF YOUR OWN DREAMS and LOSE opportunity to MARRY!
The thing is no matter what she says to her mom, nothing will change. Her mum is just like my mum. They are enablers. That's how my mum has been enabling my sister. There's nothing we have not done or said.
ReplyDeleteSOME MOMS EHN! 😰
Delete4kids in 5years,thats good....!!
ReplyDeleteIGNORE THEM FOR A LONG TIME,TELL THEM THE 500K WAS THE LAST YOU COULD FIND,why would u be working for them to feed?I know its jot that easy to be harden your heart but mehnnn!!!
You and your brother should take a long rest from their demands and see if they will not rise up to do something for themselves.
ReplyDeleteNonsense
Poster you better harden your heart. Your brother will never learn till you bone. Stop enabling him. Let him go and work. You're not plucking money from a tree
ReplyDeleteFor you guys to oppose him marrying a non-graduate means you all had a feeling your brother would refuse to support himself and wanted to put him on an innocent graduate lady as a burden. I thank God for the hardworking woman that might have married your brother. She would have been saddled with your brother's responsibilities.
ReplyDeletePoster, you better face your front and invest in yourself. Let me tell you true life story.
Someone was like you, carrying her brother's responsibilities, paying school fees, etc. Even the children were calling her "mummy". Until the day they called her "aunty". When she asked why, children told her their mother had ordered them not to call her "mummy" that she was not their mother. This lady was unmarried and doing well financially. She took her brother's kids as her own and even intended to will her properties to them. But that event taught her a lesson. She was just been used and if she needed their help tomorrow, SIL was there to remind them that she's not their mother. Well, she decided on that day to halt all she was doing for them and focus on herself. She even adopted her own kids.
My point is, your brother and his wife don't care about you. They will not be grateful for your help. Focus on your life and BLOCK them. They will mock you if you end up not having a family of your own, no matter how you helped them. Your brother that washed his hands off is not a fool. Be wise.
Poster you better harden your heart. Your brother will never learn till you bone. Stop enabling him. Let him go and work. You're not plucking money from a tree
ReplyDeleteDarling,it's not going to be easy for you to wash your hands off them until your mum consents to it, until your mum realises she's over indulging them and agrees with you,there's no solution yet,I wish you well
ReplyDeleteThe brother, wife and mother are COMPLETELY INNOCENT in this case. The only person who can determine whether or not you end up financially, emotionally drained is you. It is your job to set boundaries and let your no be your no. If a tap is dry for long enough, people would leave it and go to the stream. If you boil a stone for long enough and it doesn't dissolve, you would go for salt. You have not set clear boundaries so naturally, these innocent players are trying their luck. The proof is that your SIL told you that they have a whole 130k they didn't work for and you are sent in a chronicle as if there's a problem. What problem? Everything is actually FINE. Unlike many who have lost their jobs, these 2 people have 130k with which do do something to create a steady income.
ReplyDeleteIf your mother calls and even threatens to curse you and you don't send any money, what will happen? Absolutely nothing. Your other brother has realised this and advanced himself sense while you are seeking permission from us to continue to be unreasonable and irresponsible. Do you have a family of your own and can they do with more spending or savings? Any projects you need financing for? When are you going to get to that part of the list because obviously, no one is prioritizing these things, not even you. Your mother didn't get enough from you guys, she gave from her own. Had you guys not thought up the bad idea of an additional 500k instead of decreasing your mother's allowance, she would have been the one to scold them and close her purse. People who hawk rice and stew daily start off with as low as 30,000 yet you gave 500k to people who can't manage 30,000- you are actually enjoying this. You are setting them up for failure and then complaining about it publicly. With the emojis you put up there, you think your brother and sil are above selling food or buka? Who lied to you? Do you know how many graduates survive on being gatemen, cleaners and drivers? Who are you to deceive them into thinking they are better than such people?
Would random people insulting this man and his family from now till next year block the hole in your pocket? Would it improve his life? Tell the truth, a tiny part of you actually enjoys having a brother to complain about, a reason to be seen as the lord and personal saviour of a fellow human being- you have to silence that little narcissist in you today.
If you want to help this man, inform all family members that the 500k would be the last assistance on your part. You are not taking in any of his kids and you are no longer extending help to them financially. If they try to change your mind, remember they can only change a mind that is not made up. Continue to call your mum and if she brings it up, calmly tell her and all family that you are no longer sending anything anymore and change the topic. If they say you are rude, apologize for the perceived rudeness and make it clear that rude, wicked, proud, selfish etc or not, no kobo is dropping. Don't police anyone's womb and congratulate them verbally on any new addition to their family. Don't raise your voice to anyone and don't report or discuss them about. They'll realize that plastic does not dissolve in water and they would go and look for salt.
Stella, if you see how some people have kids without planning you will be angry. My brother and his baby mama have 3 kids that they can barely take care of. The story is a sad one.The entitlement mentality of some people is annoying. It hurts me because some siblings will try to help another sibling but the help receiver will never appreciate this. Poster leave this useless people having kids like rat
ReplyDeleteNa wah oooooo.... please for heaven sake y'all need to let him be a man🏋️. He's leech to you guys,and it doesn't matter if his wife is an under graduate or not, they are just LAZY n WICKED
ReplyDelete@Poster, I don't understand you. Since your brother has washed his hands off your lazy brother & his wife, why not you send them your full monthly salary as it comes. Don't forget to borrow from your colleagues or take loan from your organization to train their children in school. You can also take another job, to make it two, so that your Mom won't have to cry her eyes out anytime your lazy brother ran to her.
ReplyDeletePeople like you are the problem people like hour lazy brother have. African adults always want to run their siblings lives - to tell them who to marry, when to have kids, type of jobs/biz to do, etc. Why can't Africans allow others, esp their siblings live their lives as they desire? You guys always forsee doom in your siblings' marriages or jobs/biz, as if making mistakes or wrong choices is not part of life. Imagine, your gut - to take your SIL for family planning without her hubby's consent. How dare you disregard your elder brother? BC you felt he can't take care of his family, right? If no one has told you, you crossed your boundaries there. Learn to give solicited advices ONLY, like I just did.
They need tough love. Wash your hands off and they will find their feet again. Your mum can continue but that's her choice, as for you guys, stop assisting them. Let them go find jobs
ReplyDeleteBuy your mum foodstuff, stop giving her money, she will have nothing to give to them. U need to talk to your mum, hard converstation will save the day. She is the one enabling them with that bad lifestyle. U need to remind her that u people are her children, u might have to use emotional blackmail on her like she does to u and your brother. Life is short, u better live your life and leave 2 adults who don't want to grow up
ReplyDeleteIf I were you, I’d stop giving them no matter the entrities. If our mum diverts her allowance to dem, I’d first reduce her allowance too later stops that one too if she keeps giving them. Poster, you’ve tried.
ReplyDeleteUna follow spoil that baby in a man's form.
ReplyDeleteHe can fck n produces sperm but can cater for his immediate family.
Dude is lousy and lazy.
Lacks focus and ambition. He is selfish;an infidel as my bible says.Wash your hands off him for good.except u want to train the kids for him while be produces babies like where they are producing popcorn...he shoots them out like that..
How can a grown ass man behave in such ways .He ought to know better with his level of education,age and exposure.
Even the wife is an enabler..what did they do with 370k?
Meaning even if u had given them 5 million, they would squandered everything..
Well,u'll still forgive and help out since your mum will call n plead on his behalf and you will accept for this cycle to continue.
why waste my fingers typing..
Have a childhood gf..she has 4 kids .from 3 men.Every year na like this..Me I'm tired.
Once they call u again,start by laying down your own problems.
They won't die of hunger..yebo
Uhnmm!!! Set awon advicers!!! Lemme put it like this. See that brother wey una talk say e lazy no lazy o, e just Dey frustrated and hopeless base on say e don see money b4 and e no see again. We shouldn’t be too quick to judge. Poster, you need to have a family meeting and make your brother understand you are also struggling and he should also endure and work for himself too but you will assist him with the little you have. I know the bros thinking abegi!!! He feels when he was working, he has helped the family tooo so it’s time for you all to reciprocate that’s why your Mum won’t leave him. Uhnmmm. E tight small o. Una get work to do oo!!!
ReplyDeleteWelcome. Association of leeches. Go and work and stop excusing laziness
Delete