STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
FOUR CORONAVIRUS PROPOSALS
Please I have a question.
You all know how we are advised not to put our eggs in one basket right? Well, 4 people have asked me to marry them but the good thing is that they asked me online, because of covid19.
Two of them are in different continents, while two are in the same country but different states.
I have not slept with any of them. I have know all of them for long but since they started talking marriage, we all have been getting to know ourselves more.
Now my question is, when I finally decide on who to agree to after the lockdown (which is the timeframe I gave all of them), how do I discharge the rest without making them feel bad? If you all can give me pointers on what to also look out for in a husband, I will be grateful. I'm in my early 30s.
WOW,only your four proposals and some Ladies have not even seen one?wow
One thing you should look out for?Marry a man that is not stingy with giving you his money!
Let me be reading!!!
Na real Conoravirus proposals....
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your proposal. This is what you should do.
DeleteWrite down the names a d surnames of all them on a paper.
Go on your kneels and ask God to reveal the to marry.
Now, it may not come the way you want it, but God will reveal the real one for you somehow somehow.
Also, pray for God to open your spiritual ears so you can sensitive to HIM when HE speaks to you concerning this matter.
God did for me and I will tell you I am enjoying my marriage. Marriage is sweet.
Between, I am a man.
May God lead you, Amen..
Sorry I would have adviced you, but I still dey beef u, how only u go get 4 proposal u even dey mention continent. As in ehnnn I no understand
DeleteWaoh!!!!!.A whole 4.. Happy for you..Some of us never see one.The one wey see sef na back to square 1.Guess life is Unfair in itself..Sometimes d matter be like Generational Curse..Walahi...Am I thinking aloud
DeleteOnly you. Babe you are lucky ooo😎😎🤗
ReplyDeleteMarry the one that loves you most among them, and also, check out for compatibility before choosing
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Love yes, plus someone that is kind not only to you but other people.
DeleteSomeone who is mature ain't dealing with issues.
That is, someone who communicates and not unnecessary arguments and bickering.
These are my pointers.
Every other thing to me are seeds of these qualities.
For instance a kind man wouldn't usually be a beater. Etc etc.
A kind man is generous
You are in your early 30s yet you do not know what to look out for in a husband?
ReplyDeleteYou can be advised wrongly on what to look out for based on “their” mentality
You are not ready yet for marriage.
👌👌
DeleteApt.
DeleteNa konji proposal aunty shine your eyes.be guided
Deletethat caught my attention too,at this age it is expected you should already know what you really want in a man. But since she doesn't know, she can as well get good pointers here. It is left for her to decide which good and bad
DeleteA person who asks questions doesnt get lost. An igbo adage.
DeleteSit this one out slutty
Firstl you need to be sure they are not asking out of boredom. People are bored and catching fun anyhow. Knowing who to marry, are u a Christian? Pray well and use the fruits of the spirit to access . Eg Sam is brings love, joy , he is peaceful , gentle, meek etc. then of course pls don’t marry a lazy man! He doesn’t v a b a millionaire but let him have a job that can cater for a family shld u marry him.
ReplyDeleteGood, practical advice.
DeleteGood pointers
DeleteMarry the richest guy. It's better to cry in a Bentley than Keke Napep
ReplyDeleteMust crying be involved?
DeleteSee me looking for one oooo😂
ReplyDeletePick the one that cares about family,the one that is a giver,the one that loves God(not just a church goer ooo),the one that forgives and not hold grudges....
Also pick fast so you don’t string others along...
Nice pointers and yes put on your eagle eyes and dicern them fast so you don't string them along
DeleteOk i'm here for the pointers.
ReplyDeleteMarry the one that has an intimate relationship with God... and also one that loves you not just in words but actions.
Good luck poster, let us know how it turned out.
How wicked can you be, leading four men on!
ReplyDeleteYou never thought that the day of judgement will come...
You've device a means to play them all along all these while, you can now also device a means to organise a sent off party for them.
There's nothing in her post that suggests she's leading them on. In Igbo tradition it was actually done this way. The proposal comes before the courtship, and often women received a couple of or several proposals and then made their choice after a while. The men could even know each other, and battle for the best man to win. Of course there was decorum, so no premarital sex or anything until marriage..
DeleteMs.A sometimes it happens this way for some people. Having different people proposing at the same time,it can be confusing for the lady especially this poster who doesn't before hand what she expects in a man
DeleteWhat is doing this 1😒, y won't she lead them on. So she should put her eggs in 1 basket and get her heart broken abi? And besides that is what datingjis all about
DeleteLead them on? Do you think it's only girls who are dating who gets proposed to?The same way a girl has multiple men asking her out is the same way women have multiple men who propose to them. Yes it happens.
DeleteThere is nothing wrong in what she did.
DeleteShe could have just been friends with them. According to her, seems they all find her pleasant without any sexual induced emotions influencing their decisions to propose to her .
Pray pray pray and pray.
You probably find something good in all of the men. One person might not have all of what has been written as pointers by BVs.
So it takes more than ticking boxes to make a choice here.
Marry the one that you can fart in his presence and you two will laugh over it. Marry the one that you feel more connected to, the one that you can discuss anything and everything with, marry the one that pushes you to achieve more and will not be threatened by your success or try to kill your shine. Best of luck..my two cents.
ReplyDeleteNice! In essence,marry the one that is your friend
DeleteMarry a giver,. And a hardworking man...,if you have a Taraus amongst them please go for him.., they make good husbands hardworking giver, caring,. you may have to deal with infidelity!
ReplyDeleteIt depends on her zodiac sign
DeleteYimu! Taureans that are very stingy
Delete@Liz
DeleteZodiac what?
You want to give the spiritual wickedness in heavenly places the
latitude to dictate your life?
My honest advise is leave the other 2 that are outside the country and pray and focus on the 2 you have present with you in Nigeria. Never do a long distance relationship especially with abroad folks. Lastly ask God for his will to be done bcos the four might not be his will for you just saying. I hope this men also don’t know that they are all chatting with one woman ooo bcos men sometimes can be very funny. Everybody proposing at the same time. I wish you well dear. If u finally make up your mind on the one, come out clean to the others. They have nothing to loose since you did not sleep with anyone. Life na game and men like to play games all the time so it’s not a big deal for them
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. Besides, no be every country follow for abroad. Plus you need to know if they are legal, or if they are illegal (those ones will come for you after 10yrs). Ask them tough questions before accepting. But also know the engagement is shaky until they come back home to seal it. But for character look for kindness. Kindness to you and others. And an emotionally stable man.
Deleteanother angle..
DeleteShould I say you are lucky? Yes you are if all of them get sense and really love and need you like no drama as time goes on. Again, this is about you, I dont know if you'v met any of them personally, but your heart beats more for one. All men are different so it could be nice u have a heart to heart tok with all of them. See how they react to issues, check their mindset, family background, how they see women in a relations, their future plan and goals. Create a scenario like a false situation if non and see if anyone will still want to tok about marriage. Again be careful not to fall in the hands of a man who is already married and wants a woman back home. Las las, the decision is all yours, chose wisely and good luck.
ReplyDeleteAre you in Christ?
ReplyDeleteThe fruits of the Spirit (Gal. 5:20-21);
Love
Joy
peace
kindness
patience
self-control (very important)
perseverance
Look well into lives of these men and find who has all these without pretense.
And if you are in Christ, we do not walk by sight but by faith.
Our Lord speaks and he leads us in matters of life. It may as well not be any of the four.
SELF CONTROL
DeleteYES VERY VERY IMPORTANT
@Jet
DeleteYou can shout it from the roof tops.
Dear Poster, have you PRAYED about any of them?
ReplyDeleteIf not, please do because instincts and emotions are not enough. 🤷🏽♀️
You want to know who loves you, isn't it?
ReplyDelete1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails...
You have to experience the love of Christ in salvation to be able to understand
the Love of God from his teachings.
No be small coro proposal, i was thinking four people with coro proposed to you😂😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteSha go for the one you are compatible with, who love you most and will take you out of this shithole😀
Four people with coro😂😂😂
Deletegood pointers except ...'and will take you out of this shithole' abroad shouldn't be a criteria to choose a husband
Deletemarry the one that loves you, when a man loves a woman,he ll do anything for her. when i meaan love, he shouldnt be stingy even if he isnt rich, a man that loves God not the pretending ones o, cos marriage is very sweet,and open ur eyes, dont be bias in ur choice o, so that u dont come and share chronicles here
ReplyDeletePoster, discuss this with all of them and if their view about life match yours ...
ReplyDelete1 How does your spouse treat others - If he/she has empathy towards people, then it will rub on you. Is he/she brash and aggressive? You need to ask yourself these questions. Things like that don't generally improve in marriage.
2 Number of kids to have or any at all - Nigerians love children but you need to be able to understand your spouses' mentality as regards kids and how many he/she wants. Circumstances might change this but you need to have a cleat cut understanding of their stand-point before venturing into marriage
3 How does your spouse relate with your family - This cannot be overestimated. Marriage in Nigeria is more about families than the two. How does your spouse look at your family and treat them? Your answers will be a huge pointer for the way forward
4 How will your religious beliefs (or none) take shape - This might look funny but I have seen marriages break because of this. Nigerians are a religious people. This aspect needs to be clear and crystal before taking the plunge.
5 How is your spouse with money - A saver? a spender? an investor or what? Can you deal with how he/she handle their finances? Very important question.
6 What is his/her passion? - This might sound funny but it will go a long way in your marriage. Can you key into their passion? Does it align with your belies and mindset?
7 Sexual compatibility - I am not saying y'all should mate as rabbits to know that part but you should be open enough to discuss sexual compatibly and preferences. What can you take, how can you take it, when do you take it and so much more. Sex has destroyed a lot of marriages for most of the mundane reasons.
8 Why do you want to get married? - This was supposed to be the number one reason but I decided to drop it somewhere in the text. Speak to your partner and hear what he/she has to say. Family pressure? age? peer pressure? Love? Listen to them and then think whether the reasons are good enough or not.
9 How are we going to run the chores at home? - See, this one has caused plenty of 'wahala' especially in this 'woke' generation. You need to know yourself per what you can do or put up with. Are you a man that loves home cooking? then marry a woman who loves to cook. Are you a woman who hates to clean and wash? try to find a man who can clean and wash or someone who can do all three if you have the means.
10 Spending habits -You need to ask and observe how your partner spend their money and on what items or hobbies. Does he/she splash out on things that are beneficial or not? Is he/she more into what you think is okay, negligible or unacceptable? Are you okay with it? Can you deal with it? Can it affect your finances as a couple? Think this through.
@anon 15.23. 1000likes for you. Omo marriages are broken cos of sex and some other mundane and trivial things. Everything you said is spot on but there's one more thing. You need to also marry someone with the same values, and ideoligies as you. If you like clubbing then pls marry an extrovert as well if not one person will feel cheated. If you like movies at the cinema and picnics and stuff, marry someone like that ooo biko
DeleteReally important questions here.
DeletePlease, do ask them. The answers will also help you to know yourself better.
And
Remember, no be all person wey pass exam know book.
Pray before and afterwards for discernment.
Marry the one who;fears God,is open to correction,has prospects,trusts you,loves and respect you.
ReplyDeleteAbove all pray that God directs you..
You may need to decide as fast as possible so don't continue to lead others on.
Marry is a man that is not proud. A proud man is also stingy. Because he is not compassionate most times and also he doesn’t want you to get to his level. He always want to be a semi god over you and control everything about you including your growth even if he is not financing you. Pray against getting married to a proud man. Because he is not willing to bend. His rules are his rules. It makes it worse if he is envious of you doesn’t want your growth even though he knows you’re the breadwinner of your family. Pray for a humble man that has money he is compassionate but not all. When you talk to him baby you want it this way he listens. He can step down for you and watch your decision play out in the growth of the family. It’s not always always himself self centered. But a generous proud man hmmm he will use money to control you. The day you stop dancing to his tunes get ready for the worse. But a humble guy want to know why you acted irrational and see reasons for your mistakes. Goodluck
ReplyDeleteYou're on point
DeleteVery good comment, anon 15.28
DeleteMarry the one way sabi lick chocolate too ooo Wella
ReplyDeleteMy two cent
Stella sef, you too much... 😂😁😀
ReplyDeleteWhich one is coronavirus proposal, are the people proposing positive to the virus?
Twins Squared
From the way you sound,It seems you met this men online and haven't met them one on one to know the one your heart goes out for.
ReplyDeleteSeems you are still having online chat with them and having fun.
You don't sound so serious.
Why not take time and give them a break to know the one that is serious.
You are complicating yourself ,dating four men at a time.
That they say not to put all eggs in one basket doesn't mean you should carry many baskets.
Stella nwunye Korkus abiakwa ozo o, ke nke bukwa corona virus proposals?🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteBut you spoke the truth about her accepting the proposal of the One that can dole out his cash to her, what with the sad stories we read about some husbands refusing to bring money home.
Seriously poster I hope you make the right decision makana the confusion on whom to choose no be small. Godspeed!
Melancholy
Dear poster wait till after COVID 19 and see which one is more persistent in contacting you. For marry your best friend among the 4 guys.A guy who will support your dreams, a guy who will protect and stand up for you no matter the challenges but will come home to correct you in a loving manner. Am in love with my bestie and the difference is clear, we gist, we make fun of each other, we basically support each other goals with no hard feelings, and am genuinely happy when he excels in his projects.
ReplyDeletelol copy cat you been dey do 'Giraffe neck' for school ba?..I agree with you on choosing the one that's her friend. Compatibility matters
DeleteBefore you yes, let this quarantine be over. Many people are lonely, bored and doing and saying this out of boredom.
ReplyDeleteLet lives return to normal and see whonis even consistent with thw proposal before you make your decision.
Poster, marry the one that gives you peace that is surreal.
ReplyDeleteMarry the one that u Know in your heart that he truly loves you and also a God lover.
ReplyDeleteMarry the one u know in your heart that u can submit to and u are free with.
My dear poster,
ReplyDeleteDon't mind those asking you to marry for money o. Rather seek God's will personally without involving any man of God and listen His instructions and adhere to it strictly to it.
Marriage is not about money o, it's a journey of fulfilling happiness. Which money hasn't and will never buy. Yes marriage needs finance but it's not the foundation. Cause there are many of us, who left our comfortable marriages that waa devoid of happiness.
Marry the one that has sense ,the one that spends money and not stingy. Marry the one that is homely. Marry the one you can stand his shortcomings
ReplyDeleteThe last time I experienced this, it wasn't 4 proposals but several men just seeking my attention. Beforehand, I had promised myself that the next time I had more than one man vying for my attention, I would just enjoy the process,ie, focus on the wooing from the more than one men. However, this one didn't go as I had planned.
ReplyDeleteOut of the lot of guys asking me out, there was this one that stood out and just like that I discarded the rest, as I figured I am not cut out for dating more than one man at a time. Things were going on well with us. It was wonderful getting to know each other but suddenly things went south after I visited him one day. To put this turn of event into perspective, that day at his house, the 3 hours or so I spent in his house, my mom called me about 4 times. As I had lost my dad about 3 months prior, my mom had become very paranoid. Given that, I just let her be vulnerable with me. On a good day, however, I never let her run my life (she even doesn't really bother anyone), after all, I was well past 30 y.o. Back to the guy, everything still went well. By the next day, I noticed he was ghosting me but I gave the excuse that he may just have been busy. So, later that evening I reached out to him and he told me he wasn't sure he could move forward with 'us' and came up with one English psychology phrase I had never in my life heard before; it was flimsy. (I learn a lot of new words from guys I have 'dated', lol). I was devastated but I took it with a pinch of salt. The following working day, I sent him a long email letting him know he was full of crap, summarily. Days, even weeks later he tried several times to call me, since I had blocked him, he couldn't connect, but, I still received the missed call notifications. I eventually unblocked him everywhere and texted him, and after much persuasion, he told me the reason why he broke things off was because my mom's incessant calls caused him to panic. You see, he has had this nasty experience where his fiancée's mom led him and the ex-fiancée to break off their engagement and I was well aware of this information even before our little incidence. In my mind, I was like, "this guy really doesn't know me at all". Anyway, it ended there and he went on to marry someone with no parents.
So to the person who wrote this post, the point I used this experience to draw out (which may not be completely linked) is:
1. Maybe still enjoy getting to know all 4 men. YOU ARE NOT COMMITTING ANY OFFENCE JUST BECAUSE THEY ALL ASKED FOR YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE AT THE SAME TIME. But, get God involved. He isn't after all an author of confusion. He will surely help you to make the right decision.
2. However, don't lead them to believe it is just them in the picture. If it ever comes up, be as honest as possible with hem.
3. Communication is very important. While still getting to know them, communicate your pet peeves and see how they respond to it. Let them do theirs and decide how you can handle them. It cannot all be rosy talk all the time. I guess that is where using the fruits of the Spirit to judge their characters is key if you are a Christian.
4. Do they believe in the same ideals as you? The same higher being you believe in? Religion plays a big role in marriage.
5. DO YOU (with the leading of the Holy Spirit, or your conscience if you are not a Christian)!
The last time I experienced this, it wasn't 4 proposals but several men just seeking my attention. Beforehand, I had promised myself that the next time I had more than one man vying for my attention, I would just enjoy the process,ie, focus on the wooing from the more than one men. However, this one didn't go as I had planned.
ReplyDeleteOut of the lot of guys asking me out, there was this one that stood out and just like that I discarded the rest, as I figured I am not cut out for dating more than one man at a time. Things were going on well with us. It was wonderful getting to know each other but suddenly things went south after I visited him one day. To put this turn of event into perspective, that day at his house, the 3 hours or so I spent in his house, my mom called me about 4 times. As I had lost my dad about 3 months prior, my mom had become very paranoid. Given that, I just let her be vulnerable with me. On a good day, however, I never let her run my life (she even doesn't really bother anyone), after all, I was well past 30 y.o. Back to the guy, everything still went well. By the next day, I noticed he was ghosting me but I gave the excuse that he may just have been busy. So, later that evening I reached out to him and he told me he wasn't sure he could move forward with 'us' and came up with one English psychology phrase I had never in my life heard before; it was flimsy. (I learn a lot of new words from guys I have 'dated', lol). I was devastated but I took it with a pinch of salt. The following working day, I sent him a long email letting him know he was full of crap, summarily. Days, even weeks later he tried several times to call me, since I had blocked him, he couldn't connect, but, I still received the missed call notifications. I eventually unblocked him everywhere and texted him, and after much persuasion, he told me the reason why he broke things off was because my mom's incessant calls caused him to panic. You see, he has had this nasty experience where his fiancée's mom led him and the ex-fiancée to break off their engagement and I was well aware of this information even before our little incidence. In my mind, I was like, "this guy really doesn't know me at all". Anyway, it ended there and he went on to marry someone with no parents.
So to the person who wrote this post, the point I used this experience to draw out (which may not be completely linked) is:
1. Maybe still enjoy getting to know all 4 men. YOU ARE NOT COMMITTING ANY OFFENCE JUST BECAUSE THEY ALL ASKED FOR YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE AT THE SAME TIME. But, get God involved. He isn't after all an author of confusion. He will surely help you to make the right decision.
2. However, don't lead them to believe it is just them in the picture. If it ever comes up, be as honest as possible with hem.
3. Communication is very important. While still getting to know them, communicate your pet peeves and see how they respond to it. Let them do theirs and decide how you can handle them. It cannot all be rosy talk all the time. I guess that is where using the fruits of the Spirit to judge their characters is key if you are a Christian.
4. Do they believe in the same ideals as you? The same higher being you believe in? Religion plays a big role in marriage.
5. DO YOU (with the leading of the Holy Spirit, or your conscience if you are not a Christian)!
Not about you feeling fly that four men proposed oh..is your mind made up mentally for the task ahead? You feel you did all your home work right ? Reasons I love women..they miss out on important things..if you not mentally readybdont go in because to you now you have seen the best but after marriage hope it doesn't go sour ..really check yourself if you ready financially, emotionally, spiritually and physically..because it is not Rosey.
ReplyDeleteBut if it's a guy dts dating 4 people u all will nearly crucify him, bunch of hypocrites.
ReplyDeleteHypocrites everywhere
DeleteBut if it's a guy dts dating 4 people u all will nearly crucify him, bunch of hypocrites.
ReplyDeleteMost people don't understand her question,she wants to know how to discharge the rest after she makes her choice,I don't get the whole marry the one who bla bla bla
ReplyDeleteMarry a man that will allow u express your feelings without feeling intimidated, marry a man that will not see sharing of chores as a crime,money should not be your only reason for marriage o, e get why
ReplyDeleteForget the one that has serious anger issues,still indulges in promiscuous acts,unhealthy lifestyle,mummy's boy, lacks focus/ambition,too broke and has no intention to be freed,has no similarities in what you believe in and stand for,lacks empathy,lacks care and love,woman beater,has no voice at all therefore accepts all he hears without draining the bad ones,humble yes..a man can actually be humble..
ReplyDeleteYOU ARE ONE LUCKY LADY.
BEST OF LUCK!
One who fear and believes in God..after all religion pay homage to God above.
ReplyDeletePoster go for a man work visions, the one that is working hard to achieve is visions not the lazy one calling vision without action 😂😂 😂😂😂 or working towards it.
ReplyDeleteI will also say you should marry a man that you fill his love tank, the one that fill your own love tank. Never you assume anything, ask questions and do not be in a hurry to say yes or no to anyone of the four till you are sure.
You will get confused because they are four in number, pray and seek for God's direction to make the right decision.
Wow. 4 proposals. My dream! I claim it for my life too. I manifest it into my reality. I pray to have many quality good God fearing rich men chasing after me too so I can be confused who to choose from. Amen
ReplyDeletePoor girl
DeleteLmao ! I see you are very naive , see let me tell you the truth, most people are just bored and catching trips online ... You want to know how many people have proposed to me this period too? I'm playing along with all of them because I'm also bored too ,so wait till after Corona before you start catching any feelings
ReplyDelete