How long should a relationship last before it is taken to the next level?
How long should an engagement last before the Marriage holds?
How long is too long?
Are you engaged and been waiting too long?How long is too long?
Are you in a relationship and about to call it off because your partner has refused to commit?
Let's gist
Individual differences tho! Some 6months,some 2 years,while some 7 years and counting
ReplyDeleteAs it's for me,6months mbok,waited 5longs years before and it didn't work,so I can't try it anymore and won't advise anyone too either
3years upward is too long these days
6months to one year is the standard. 6months to get to know each other very well and another 6months for courtship before marriage.
DeleteIts always very dicey and that moment when things go south and you regret the years wasted could really tear you apart,
DeleteWell this is why clarity is important from the inception.
I dated for more than 5 years. Got married and had a baby. He still cheated on me after I had my baby. It hurt like hell.
DeleteParis, we sure are on the same page regarding this. 5 years didn't work out eventually, 6 months biko.
Delete@black diamond...please who set the standard?
DeleteWhatever works for them.
DeleteIn my opinion, I think no man should give any girl a ring if he's not ready to marry her as soon as possible. If your reason for giving her a ring is to scare other men away, please go and work on your insecurities till you're ready for marriage.
I started dating my husband in August, he proposed may the other year, we did introduction in June, traditional marriage in October and white wedding in November. It took this long sef because of available dates in church.
No time to waste time biko.
Sorry Anonymous 16:29, sending you hugs and kisses 💕. Hope you heal hug🤗
DeleteAnonymous 23:01 I did heal though it took a while. I also let him know that I would walk away with my children if I ever find out that he's unfaithful. Had to give him a good reset several times for him to understand. Cos he's very friendly with people and I found out he did not understand what acceptable boundaries are. Even though I love him, part of my heart (and brain) is fully prepared for any mess up. I earn very well and can take care of my kids if need be. Love is so overrated.
DeleteA man knows within 3 to 6 months if you're the wife he wants to marry. He may wait another 6 months for you to mess up or for him to study you more
DeleteNawa oo,relationship matter everywhere. I just feel nobody should be pressured to do anything, because both guy and bae can pretend for as long as it takes to get the ring(bae)/sign dotted lines before they show their true color.
ReplyDeleteTake as much time as you want if you ask me, but know when to call it quit if you think there's nothing there for you, or get married and keep it moving.
Exactly.
DeleteTo me time frame depends on each factor like your age,finances and maturity. If you start dating at 20 and ur bf is 21. You wont expect such ppl get married in 1/2 yrs. They need to finish school,get good jobs and mature. All this can take 7yrs.
But if you are say 25/27 when you start dating. You can date for 2/3yrs.
If you are early 30s and both of you have ur finances together.1/2 yrs is ok. Your mid/late 30s.....6months is enough to know each,it is assumed u are financially stable,mature and you know what you want. If at dat age and its getting to a yr and d guy isnt saying anythn abt marriage just end it.
In essense sha time frame depends on each couple.
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DeleteB&R
DeleteYou have a point with the timeframe
However
Let GOD lead
I am not in support of courtships that are too long however one should spend time knowing each other. So for me 1- 2 years is ok
ReplyDeleteI can't how long is too long for anybody but so long as dating is concerned,it shouldn't be more than two years.
ReplyDeleteI mean,a year is more than enough to know all about your partner.
Never really dated before but this is my own opinion.
You will be surprised that in 1 year you still dont know Jack about your partner...
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI will like to know the time frame for a relationship to lead to courtship, thats like the time after engagement right??
ReplyDeleteNobody knows swears..if anyone tell you about time frame it's just a suggestion coz it happens differently for each person.
DeleteWhen you meet the bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh! Everything will just fall into place and you won't even bother about that time frame coz nobody knows it.
Comot your mind from time frame o so you won't be disappointed when time frame reach and nothing is happening. Like I said, with your own true love ehn, everything will fall into place.
Gracias!
Hi Tade, thanks for taking time to answer, I appreciate your input.
DeleteTade, she's not talking about the length of time before boyfriend proposes. She's talking about the length of time after boyfriend proposes and becomes fiance. How long they will be engaged for before the wedding.
DeleteAnon, it depends on whether money is ready for the wedding. Once he has put a ring on it, the next thing should be wedding planning, generally.
We started immediately but it still took ten months because we had close family members abroad and had to fix a date to suit everyone. So we had a lot of time to do the first introduction and so on before actual wedding planning.
Dear anon 14:12
DeleteI think it just depends on the individuals involved there is usually no time frame as circumstances could actually differ
But most people say max 6 months while others believe otherwise .
Mine was a couple of months after we met .
There should be no 'one rule for all' when it comes to how long a relationship should last before marriage takes place.
ReplyDeleteCertain things like when they met;as undergraduates in the university, are they financially stable to go into marriage and how psychologically and mentally mature they are before they take the big plunge.
You may meet the love of your life and still need a long time for the love to blossom and thrive or it'll wither when faced with real life challenges in marriage.
*Should be taken into consideration.
DeleteFor serious people, before you go into a relationship, you should know the goal, which should be marriage.
ReplyDeleteWhen I met my husband, he was singing marriage. I was 21 and found it too embarrassing and too forward. But he knew what he wanted. He didn't want games. I know some men will sing marriage and end up deceiving young women. Ladies, pls take your destinies in your hands. Don't leave it for time wasters.
We courted for 2 years, while I watched him closely and prayed for God to reveal his purpose in my life.
He proposed on my birthday, in my office, the second year, when he was sure of a steady income. And wedding planning started immediately.
In my opinion, two years is enough to know someone who is honest (and has the same goal-marriage) well enough and to prayerfully make up your mind to take the big step with them.
If you're doing Lord of the rings, pls go back and ask God if that ring is not a chain. God help us.
Wonderful story!!
Delete2 years is not enough to know anyone, infact there's no time frame in knowing anyone!!
Just always listen to your hesrt, when you're convinced through prayer, you can Marry 🤷🤷
👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽@ praying to God to reveal his purpose in your life .
DeleteIn my opinion, you shouldn't get into a relationship until you are ready for marriage. You have no business being in a relationship except for the sole purpose of marriage. 2 years is also the longest time you should be engaged for, except something serious is delaying you guys
ReplyDeleteOh wow!here comes another school of thought. 'You have no business being in a relationship except for the sole purpose of marriage' wow!
Delete...and who are you again to determine that? Do I need to remind you that there people who are not interested in marriage...so they should go and kii themselves?
This may be the first time I'll agree with you totally.
DeleteThis is my own opinion.
Madam abeg give Eesah 10 bottles of shine shine bobo
DeleteI think its all about preference,
ReplyDeleteFor me what matters the most is understanding and oneness,
We are both working on being together and having a solid home the wedding is just a day but marriage is a life time,
So it took us this long , family tried to pressure us into having the wedding but I stood my ground cos he's that kinda man that threads carefully and wants to be in the good books of both family but I had to make him realise that this is largely about us and not them , after the wedding we would be the ones together and they wouldn't be there ,
So yeah I think its all about individual preference and circumstance.
Exactly 🤷🤷🤷
DeleteTreads not threads
Delete*families
Delete😘😘@Cookie 🍪
15:43/is everything OK at home? ITK.
DeleteIt's threads, she is right.
Anon 17:30...a simple google search could have saved you this embarrassment. It's mind-blowing how you can be ignorant and still wear it boldly like a crown on your head. Who's the ITK now??
DeleteThere is no straight jacket answer but a year is ok
ReplyDeleteStraight jacket ko.
DeleteMine happened within 10 months of dating my wife. I started dating her in February and marriage plans started in May. Wedding Date was fixed in September, Marriage class started becamein September, madam became pregnant in October and we got married in December.
ReplyDeleteUpon say I be born again, I deflowered her in March I preferred to be shamed by families and church members than commit abortion and live in guilt forever.
Same as mine. Hubby and I were introduced in February, we kicked off then. Met physically in March as we were in different states. Had intro in may,Trad in November and wedded I Decembr.one major attraction to hubby was that he started talking marriage as soon as we started flowing. Before I met hubby,I was seeing someone who I got introduced to in 2015,but he showed no signs of seriousness till met my hubby in 2018.
DeleteI ended my very first relationship cos we didn't know what we were doing. I've never liked that boyfriend and girlfriend title that carries on for years. I'm not wired for longggg relationships but I have friendships that has lasted for a while.
ReplyDeleteMost friendships didn't move on to something better cos they weren't ready at the time we met. So you remain in the friend zone until you're ready, trust me to treat them so well with no benefits lol. Some even call me their girlfriend.
Eventually, I know I'll be marrying one of my friendships. But it's not easy at all, these dudes be tempting a sister everytime.
Don't mind them dudes🙄. I had many of them as friends then. Until my hubby came and took all of them by surprise. 😀
DeleteMake sure you define the relationships to prevent had I known
DeleteYour friends aren't gonna marry you sweetie. Men go after what they want when they see it,no playing around. So don't bank on it. Go out there and make yourself available to men who actually are man enough to pursue you and make their intentions known not cowardly hiding under the mask of friendship so they can keep their options open
DeleteWell for me no particular time particular, if the love is there ,there's mutual Understanding between both parties both parties are ready for commitment and there's some financial security, they an get married
ReplyDeleteDifferent strokes for different folks.. For some, Long term relationship is best and worked.. For some it didn't work! Most importantly, na the way God plan am go work short or long term!
ReplyDeleteAs far as I'm concerned, Too Long term isn't for me (I'm keeping that one for marriage).. If within a year mio rii koko ẹ, mio shey mo coz mio kín shey Mario 🤷
And truth be told, if you like spend 12 years dating someone or less or more.. They will still shock you small for inside marriage because you can't know everything about that person during courtship, why is this? Living together is another eye opener! We should all just be prayerful.
everybody situation is different. took us 10yrs...I was 18 and he was 23. both in university
ReplyDeleteFor me marriage is a big deal and as such each couple should take as much time as possible to get to know themselves better. For me two years dating is OK, then 6 months engagement before marriage. 3 years is too long to stay without know the direction the relationship is going.
ReplyDeleteMine happened within 10 months of dating my wife. I started dating her in February and marriage plans started in May. Wedding Date was fixed in September, Marriage class started becamein September, madam became pregnant in October and we got married in December.
ReplyDeleteUpon say I be born again, I deflowered her in March I preferred to be shamed by families and church members than commit abortion and live in guilt forever.
0 to 1 year is short
1 to 2 years is perfect
3 to 6yrs is not bad
7 to 10yrs is too long
11 to 15years is bondage and pity marriage
16 years and above is wickedness
Lol, who dates someone from 7years to 10 years.. that is pure wickedness. 3 years sef is too long
DeleteDepends on the individuals involved
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is this...there's no manual to how these things work.some didn't even date up to one month but have been their with spouses as long as time can tell. While the ones that dated for years divorce almost immediately they are married. No accurate formula on how these things work...to each and his own.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you,my husband and I dated for just two months before we got married..
DeleteAnd life has been so beautiful since then..
Spiritual husband won't let me get married. I have a veil in my face for over 16 yeas yet no man of God has been able to help me out. They only see it with d mark on my body. What haven't I done,which kind of prayer n faith I haven't had? What kind of tears I haven't cried? Seeing all ur ex school mates getting married with more than a kid while u remain single at 30 is what u won't wish for an enemy. I have gone trhouh a lot of battles,I have gone through more than enough in this life,I have been rejected several times. I'm beautiful but no one even compliments me anymore. I would have killed myself but 3 people give me hope. My Sisters n a blog visitor who has been a father and a friedn here. I never expected someone could actually help me when I don't even ask cos I'm d type to give wholeheartedly till my last but everyone turns away from me. I don't have a so gle friend wishing or calling me on my birthday. I see Girls who aren't even facially OK getting hitched yet common boyfriend,I don't have. All my relationship lasted for just a week. I am a shadow of myself. U know y? I used to be d calmest person ever till my relationship but pains,heartbreaks n torutee with all my terrible experience turned me to a different person. I see maswuarades trying to kill me in my dreams. I have been close to death almost everdau I sleep,I eat sleep,sex n do all sort in d dreams. I'm just too weak to type. This is since I was a kid n till date I'm still having these in me. 3 months to my 30th birthday yet not even a job. Thanks to my helper here,I owe you too much. You don't know me or ever met me yet u took me as a sister. U are a blessing to me. I wanted to give up but u give me reasons to live. U are d d reward of all I have given to those I knew n didn't know. I appreciate you. God Bless you alwaysg
ReplyDeleteWho lied to you? There is no veil covering your face dear. Stop believing that nonsense and you notice you have set yourself free. You are the one that have kept yourself in bondage with this pronouncement.
Delete17:34 it's no lies. There's more than meet to d eyes
DeleteAnonymous 14:46 I will say you should meet your both parents talk to them, try to find out if there was any God or anything they worshipped in the past.
DeleteGet to see those local herbal people in your home town that could help alot.
This is a lie of the devil my dear, he is playing gimmicks and sadly you have fallen for it. Declare what you want in faith IJN and you must marry. Who born the useless devil.
DeleteVeil Korr!!! Curtains niii!!! If you like don't go and work on your stinking personality. ..common boyfriend, girls who are not as pretty as yourself, 30yrs and you are this wasted. You think faith is something you practice every Thursdays, going to different so called MOGs. ...Faith comes with a degree of doubtless peace and my gyarl until you get to a point where you are unperturbed, focusing on God, counting all your blessings and been nice to yourself and others then that veil will continue to blind you.
DeleteYour depressive attitude can even chase a man away! What is it sef? Are u the first 30 and above not married? Then if you have a problem whether spiritual and also character wise be working on it and don’t stop while you wait. Sounding frustrated
DeleteWhen we met he said he wants to marry me, that was a turn off for me because guys use that line always when they see a matured lady. Anyway we became just friend because we have a lot of mutual friends,for one year I studied how he related to people, his lifestyle and others from a distance. He asked me out again and we got married in 5 months. He just knew I was the one but I didn’t see that 😂, he loves and respects me a lot , I couldn’t have asked for a better partner.
ReplyDelete*just friends * *relates with* *other things* . Too much typo errors, I didn’t proofread.
DeleteI'm in d same situation right now, been dating this guy for almost a year & he has refused to define the relationship, i snooped into his phone last week & i saw that he has been begging his ex that he still loves her. Has a new girl he's dating & asking about 3 other girls out. He is staying in a single room ( face me i face you) and has refused to rent a better apartment ( he's financially capable & has a good job). When i told him about what i saw I his phone, there was no single atom of remorse or, shock or apology, imagine a 36 years old guy still acting like a teenager. I just had to call everything quit. I don't know why I'm never lucky when it comes to men & relationship. Even if i close my legs i still get dumped in d end.
ReplyDeleteYou’re out of the relationship please stay out of it. Say no to Time wasters.
DeleteScrutinize better the ones who who accept to date you. Change your circle
DeleteThe fact that he has means to leave that shabby apartment yet hasn't speaks volumes about the kinda guy he is. Some men will forever be stuck in the past, they can't let go because they are too chicken to dream big and move forward. They are not man enough. They only want comfort. He's even stuck on past relationships because they are familiar and feel safe. Better Thank God that he saved you from that hell because a man like that cannot grow. I have one ex like that. While we are together and have small fight he will go and be commenting on his ex gf page and contacting her. Same ex gf that disrespected and treated him like trash. I don't know if the guy is cursed or charmed or what but almost all relationship he has had after me always melt away within a few months.even the ex gf. He will post a girl's dp or be flirting hard for months only for him to get tired later. And on to the next target. I don't know how we were able to stay together for 2 years.
DeleteMaybe he is the one using and dumping the girls. Maybe the girls are the ones fed up with his low effort, low level thinking and lack of ambition to progress in life. Who knows???
No matter how long you guys court yourselves, you will still find out more about yourselves while married. So the least I will advice is 1- 2years, after which you find your square root or become lord of the ring forever.
ReplyDeleteMy room mate while I was doing diploma in school broke up with her long time Bobo in November of that year and by third week of January, she was married to someone else!! Like, they guy wasn't in her life before oooh, just came back in december, saw her, liked her, enquired and they did intro, fixed wedding date, he even gave us the asoebi free, she wasn't pregnant or anything...... We were SHOCKED!!
ReplyDeleteMy childhood friend met her husband when she was 16 and married him when she clocked 20 and they would be celebrating 7 years wedding anniversary tomorrow 🤷🤷🤷
Different strokes for different folks!!!
Hmm right @ different strokes for different folks but I'm a strong believer of getting to know each other for a bit ,
DeleteIts very important to know the person you're spending the rest of your life with.
I had a school mate who broke up with one guy and few months later married another man. She was suppose to join him abroad and start her life but two years later,she is not wearing ring or abroad with her husband infact she behaves like a single girl. Moral of the story: sharp sharp weddings can look interesting but might not always be good. I will like to know I am marrying a good man who understands and loves me for real. Someone I will have a great marriage with. I am not saying that should take too much time or time must be wasted to know that. But let the facts be there before marrying and no unpleasant surprises because of unnecessary rushing
Delete5 months after which wedding can be planned in a month. And if the guy seems to be stalling, take a callendar to him one day and ask him to circle one Saturday.When he asks what for, tell him for the wedding. Discussion and planning has started. It worked for me and a friend I adviced too.
ReplyDeleteIn fact my husband told me one day he would never have known how to say it if not for the step I took, we would still be dating after 7years.
We were having sex already.Though as a Christian now,I will advice you stay without sex oh.
You know Reading these comments just made me reaffirm that it's an individual thing , my sister met her husband shortly after she broke up with her ex ( she discovered he was cheating and was too devastated) well they started talking ,became friends and shortly after he went straight to ask her to marry him.
DeleteShe kinda dissuaded him by coming up with various excuses even lied she had a daughter just to make him lean back but he was relentless well she eventually spoke to my mom about him and they prayed.
Within a month they had a very elaborate wedding cos she's the first and my parents had lost some children before her hmm the wedding had a 1500 sitting capacity lol and people said their marriage wouldn't last
But they've been together for 20 years, I just think it's about what works but sometimes long engagement could be really tiring i personally there were times I almost gave into pressure but I know where I'm headed so I have managed to hold on till now.
But then if you're a Christian practicing abstinence long engagement isn't good.
Anon 15:28 so you pressured your husband into marrying you.....umm that's not a good look sweetie. Do you have to pressure him to do his manly duties and take responsible decisions as a man like buying a house, buying stock, getting a job, paying the bills. Just making sure you don't end up doing all the work for a man whose mind isn't in it. I'm looking out for you sha. Just don't repeat this your story outside cus it's not a good look at all ijs
DeleteAnon 15:28.. you were having sex already. Probably living with him and acting like wifey without a ring. Ok oooh. I won't say much but. Why buy the cow when u can get the milk for free?? Hoping it won't end in tears for you sha because pressuring a man Into marriage rarely ends well o. You should have kept this to yourself tbh cus now I'm scared for you. Because a man that lacks backbone like that u mean to tell me if another woman comes and pressurise him to sleep with her or leave you He won't do it?? Beware of weak or undecided men. Good luck but you sound very desperate sha. It's like ur more in love with that man than he is with you
DeleteAnon 15:28 a little desperate but okay. You sure that man is not having cold feet or second thoughts??? Hmmmmmm. Don't be a placeholder o. Pls rethink o. I don't want that man to dump you at the altar or leave you with children after marriage. Just saying. Have a rethink. You may be thinking is cool cus u don't know but a man goes after what he wants with speed and eagerness
DeleteWhen I was single,my mindset was never date more than a year.
ReplyDeleteI was never too attached to any man not to easily let go.
I easy got bored in relationships.
One of my friends told me that if after 6months my boyfriend hadn't asked me to marry him I should break up with him 😂😂
DeleteI had just met him then, well I laughed it off cos I've always believed in dating / courting for at least two years before marriage.
My boyfriend and U have been dating four years. We started since our second year in uni. We just graduated and I believe we’ll marry once we stand our grounds no matter how long it takes.
ReplyDeleteI*
DeleteI pray it works out for u...
DeleteThe timeframe depends on the parties involved. My husband and I were not really friends before we got married. A colleague introduced me to him when I was serving that he should help me get a job after youth service, so I used to call him to follow up on my CV that I gave him.
ReplyDeleteSo the second time my husband saw me, he asked me out which was in Aug and by Dec of that same year, he took me home to show his mum that this is the girl that he wants to marry.
By April of the following year, I took him to see my Dad and my Dad told him to bring his people. His people came for mini introduction and they did the proper introduction on my birthday afterwhich they told us to pick a date for the wedding which happened 7 months after.
So if the guy is ready to settle down and he has settled to marry the lady in his heart, Every thing will just progress from there. Though some people tell me that I am lucky but all I can say that he was ready and he showed the signs of commitment from the begining of the relationship.
Me, have been dating my bobo since when I was in SSS3 . I never knew he was just wasting my time until last year when he started giving me attitude because I couldn't give him the money he requested from me in order to travel abroad for one medical exam. Now I am 30 years old still searching . I was in SSS3 in 2006. He has been showing me the signs but I didn't pay attention to them because I loved him and he was my first love. My parents are on my neck now because I'm Nupe by tribe
ReplyDeleteBreathe
DeleteGather yourself
Forgive him for your peace of mind
Pray
Be happy
Don't allow anyone pressure you
Only you will live with the person
I am two years older and the same tribe with you with no man in sight yet but I have peace. Why? I know I won’t be happy if I had settled down with the guys who came because they were not God sent and I wasn’t ready mentally. God will do it in the way I pray for and much more. So why bother and worry yourself? Just pray , go out more,socialize,be open minded but observant now
DeleteI was my husband's account officer for 2years.He was the serious introvert type while I was opposite.Our relationship was strictly official and I didn't even give it a thought that this efiko can even play for a min. We attended a friend's wedding together in March. That was the first time we had any personal conversation. By June we were married and it's been 9years of bliss. Though the first 2years were so stressful. Getting to understand him brought about so much peace.
ReplyDeleteNice one
DeleteMet my fiance in July last year. He told me from first date that we will wed by December, asked me why I remained with my ex for 2 years.
ReplyDeleteIn December, I found out that he was separated with 2 kids and I pulled out, he pulled me back in and explained why he didn't tell me the truth, he didn't want to lose me.
Wedding was fixed for Easter but coro interfered, we will officialize immediately after lockdown. I'm actually excited to be a stepmother, they live with his sister and her hubby but I'll make sure I upgrade them the best I can.
I think it's an individual thing. What works for one person might not work for another.The time frame may differ depending on the parties involved.You can spend two years with someone and not actually knowing the person very well and that's why we see couples that dated for a couple of years and still couldn't make it far.
ReplyDeleteIt's not a one size fits all kind of principle but personally, I think between 2-3 years is ideal, if both parties are financially, mentally, emotionally/psychologically and spiritually ready for marriage. I know it is impossible or at least improbable to expect to know all about a person until you start living together as man and wife but, I think within 2 years, you should know a lot about a person to have an informed decision whether or not you can accept him/her, warts and all.
ReplyDeleteTrue, there are the few anomalies where people meet and get married within 2 months and live together blissfully but, like I said they are the ANOMALIES! It rarely happens. I know and have represented some clients in divorce proceedings and majority of the complaints were bordered on "If only I had waited longer" and "I had no idea he/she was like that". Of course, on the flipside, I also know a few couples who dated for years, got married and were separated a year or a couple of years later. It's best to know as much as you can about a person before you get married, and hope for the best. The other surprises that may spring up later, if not too absurd, will be easy to handle once the emotional connection is solid.
Marriage is not for the faint hearted. Though I've hadled some divorce cases, I still have some old school values when it comes to marriage so I don't use the "D word" lightly, I see it only as a last resort. As long as life or limb is not threatened, I believe couples should "thug" it out as much as is humanly possible. It's easier to work things out when the foundation is right. That's why the importance of marrying the right person cannot be overemphasised. Even with the love of your life, marriage can still be challenging, let alone marrying someone you barely tolerate. Well... after all said and done, to each his own and God for us all.
These days men date more than one woman ohhhh....so don't date just one person.....use sense and give everyone a mental time frame for proposal....if it passes 6 months my sister use style and friend zone.....but make sure you know a guys intention at the beginning and if he passes all your other test tell him what you want and if he does not want the same things please friend zone.....avoid time wasting.....in this pandemic I went on a date nothing serious ohhhh. I told him what I wanted and his response was not great so I made a mental note to friend zone the nigger. #AVOIDTIMEWASTING....and please it's ok for a guy or lady to not want to get married yet....don't hate them just don't allow them to waste ya time.
ReplyDeleteWhen you are dating you have to be careful to pick out the men who are ready to marry and those who are not ready.....the thing about men is that they will tell you the way they feel by their actions and the things they say so you really have to pay attention to avoid time wasting.....some men are little boys in a grown mans body but one thing I know is that when a man is ready to get married, its like they want to rush it.....they are only ready when they are ready...so figure it out.
ReplyDeleteI think it depends on a lot of factors like age, financial capacity and all. I met my boyfriend during service. We were in same platoon. I refused to date him when he asked me out because I believed we're mates though he is 2years older. I didn't want to date for long before marriage which I told him but he persisted and I eventually agreed because he ticks most of my boxes except for age and financial capacity. I was 24 and wasn't in a hurry to marry but I didn't want to be in a long relationship either.We both got jobs immediately after service but he was a contract staff at first and mine was a 40k job. Then he got staffed and earns close to 200k now while I changed to a multinational job and earns about 180k. We're both from poor homes and we both help our families. Our relationship clocked 4yrs this yr and the love has grown tremendously. This guy loves me so much and has not done anything to hurt me all these years though we have our occasional quarrels. But he's not good with finance. I taught him to save but he finds it had to refuse his parents. I've also realized that he doesn't want to share family responsibilities with me so while I consider our collective income as enough to start a family with, he only considers his alone. And he doesn't want to be like his parents and doesn't want to start small like getting married while living in a miniflats. All these while I've not been keen on marriage but since this year I've been having this urge to get married. Maybe it's because I've gotten a good hold on my career now, my friends are all married and I want to have children lol. I feel lonely and stagnant these days and need to move to another phase of life. I also live alone. I guess he relaxed because I never talked about the topic all these while but I've started giving him hints and he's sitting up now. He's supposed to be promoted this year but I hope this Coronavirus issue will not spoil things as the project they were working on was suspended. He's also exploring other side hustles.
ReplyDeleteI know this guy loves me and we understand each other very well but the problem is he's not financially ready. I hope I don't have to wait longer.
My roommate met her husband April last year and by Oct he had paid her bride price and they wedded in December. Both were very ready mentally. It was obvious the guy was ready all round just looking for a wife. He was 38yrs and my friend was 28yrs. So it depends on a lot of factors
We met in February, had introduction in may, registry in July, trad and church in September, got pregnant in October.
ReplyDelete11yrs together with 2kids, another on the way.
Hmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteSo true they r only ready when they t ready
ReplyDelete