Some spouses will just wake up and decide that the Marriage is over and walk away leaving the other spouse confused and in shock....
Even in relationship,it happens...You see two people in love and set to make it solid and one person wakes up and says they want to move on while some do move without telling the other person.....
Some will wake up and decide to secretly remarry without the knowledge or consent of the other spouse...
Some will travel abroad to greener pastures and decide to marry for papers and cause trouble with the spouse they left behind so that they will divorce..
Marital abandonment and relationship abandonment is happening every day and most times there is no reason for it....
Did you abandon your spouse when they needed you most and moved on?
Or were you abandoned without a reason and presently undergoing divorce?
Someone who was still married found out their spouse had remarried from a facebook post...Imagine the shock!
Years back,a lady went to the Market to shop and was approached by an Amebo to congratulate her on the new wife the hubby just married..Meanwhile she thought the man was attending a meeting in another Country...Imagine the shock!
A lady followed a facebook tag to see that the man she is wearing his ring married someone else the weekend he told her he missed his flight back from another Country.....
Why do people abandon their spouses halfway and go start all over again with someone else who sometimes is not even as good as the one they left?
Lets gist!!!
Choi...these examples are so heart wrenching. But there's nothing like honesty sha. No matter how painful,it's better you tell the other partner the truth than just leaving or getting remarried with no explanation.
ReplyDeleteEnter your comment...this same way my wife left me for no reason.she made me lose over 7million with Ponzi scheme them after warning her not invest.u know all those Bitcoin rubbish then.when she found out that I didn't pick up on time, though ,it was so rough and tough.i left house to sell one of my tuxedo suits so we can feed but when I came back,I couldn't find her.
ReplyDeleteI was happy she didn't go with my only son.i eventually got a contract worth millions and I pick up straight.i don't Know where is she at the moment,though I heard she travelled to S.A.
Stella,pls do SnM after this covid palava.i need a new wife.
thanks.
It hurts in a differnt kind of way..
ReplyDeleteI didn't want the relationship initially, he pursued, cared and treated me so well, I literally fell in Love. I'm always guarded when it comes to love matters cos if I'm in its always deep. Well, he started demanding for sex after a while, i would've given in, I ve nothing against it if we've finally defined what we're doing. I made some visits, I wanted him to keep reassuring me that I won't regret getting into the relationship with him, so he was always explaining and reassuring me but I still wasn't ready for sex. That shit means deeper things to me. We did other things tho.
One faithful day, he had series of meetings in a different state, we got chatting and he told me how exhausted he was, I encouraged him to come back to Lagos and I'll visit him. I had nothing in mind about sex, apparently he had that in mind. He drove long hours and got back to Lag, I went visiting, didn't plan to sleep over, we got talking not knowing he's already feeling we've started a defined relationship, I still needed lots of reassurance. Honestly, I was scared, I said something in passing which were slightly misleading about me being a virgin whereas I'm not. He asked again and I said I was just playing. We did some smooching and I didn't want to stay over, so I left.
The next day he called, I started teasing him on his long journey the previous day and asked if he drove that long cos he wanted sex, I asked playfully. He muttered How's he's told me countless times he's looking for something serious not just a sex buddy. We ended the call on a cold note.
I found out in the evening on WhatsApp that he's blocked me, both calls and messages. I had already falling in Love. I wanted him, I begged, cried, called his best friend to talk to him, I did everything, I was even willing to sleep with him just to reassure him I wasn't playing games with him. It was too late, dude has gone back into his shell. I got to find out, he takes him time to open up to people from his friend, he let me in and he was watching me and felt I was playing games with him and he's a very sensitive guy but you won't know from looking at him but I got to know after knowing him for a while. I tried to reach him, I used a different number to send an apology note on WhatsApp on my birthday cos I was really sad. All I wanted was for him to unblock me. He replied by sending me a heartfelt happy birthday text explaining why he did what he did, confirming what his friend had earlier said about him being scared of getting hurt. He went on to say he would unblock me in a month's time, cos he needs to think and he needs space.
It's been 9 months since then. He never unblocked me, I still can't reach him.
Do I still Love him? if I see him struggling, I won't pass by I must help cos once I open my heart to someone it's hard to close it again. But I will never pray to have someone like that again who could zoom off knowing he caused me so much emotional hurt and still feel good about it. Though he blocked me, he still did something major for me Annonymously but I knew it was him. Thanked him using a differnt WhatsApp number, he never replied.
I learnt my lessons from it all sha. They are deep lessons. It took me time to heal, I cried, I really cried, didn't know how to move on. Deleted his numbers countless times but I always save it back. Now, it's only but a memory and I don't hurt anymore.
Time sure does heal all wounds.
Some guys like it easy. Am the chairman of this meeting. Stress me or prove hard to get and I will run as if you have Coro and sneezing carelessly. Am wired differently when it comes to relationships. If you give in easily, I will be a sucker for you. I see and take it you appreciate me.
DeleteSorry. If he's yours, he will come around. Good you have leaned your lessons.
He left because he saw your resolve. You would never let him sleep with you. Stop feeling guilty with the nonsense reverse psychology thingy going on.
DeleteAnon 14:33 so sorry to hear this. It must have been sad and hard for you. A good job you've healed somewhat. The mistake you made was teasing him. In future thread more carefully....remain strong and who knows...
DeleteCheers
You dodged a huuuuuge bullet. The guy and his friend are players. See how he manipulated you to the point of you almost agreeing to open the cookie jar? He will wait and make you heal then come back for the cookie. Then he will dump you. God saved you big time from his mind games.
DeletePlz sheath your tears. Move on. Plz.
DeleteAnon 14:55 and 15:04 too much sense won't kee you👏
DeleteYou guys are smart and saw through him but aunty can't
You are so naive
DeleteThat man never loved you
Both of them are players
Him and his friend
If he had gotten the cookie
Na run be that
He is in a serious relationship
KING XOXO MYSTERY
You better take anonymous 15:04 advice. That guy is a manipulative demon. He wants to blackmail your emotion so when he comes back he can easily chop your kponyo. Wicked boy
DeleteYour player boyfriend that has found a new plaything is the one you want to kill yourself for? Someone who is having the best time of his life with a new catch and has blocked you so you won't disturb his runs with your call. He will come for you later when he is done eating the flesh of the bone of his new fish and finish what he has started. If you like open leg for him you hear? You are so naive to believe someone who loves you will stay away from you for long and tell you he will come back after some months. Well maybe when he is done being in lock down with his new catch he will come for you but for now you are on your own. He didn't give you any gift because he cares he gave you that gift or money after breaking up with you to secure a room in your heart when he intends to come back and ruin you.
DeleteWomen ... we are too emotional. All he wanted was sex my dear.
DeleteBetter go through the sensible comments and have sense. He never loved you and his friends are just like him. He will be back but you will be a fool to be available when he returns.
DeleteLet me assume that he had the noblest intentions and isn't a scammer. Perhaps, he is not for you. You are both very guarded and there's nothing wrong with that. The problem was the sex issue because he didnt recognise that it was a big deal for you and be kept hoping that you will see he was serious and give in since your relationship was serious. That would have been a huge mistake because you'd be dealing with guilt of breaking a personal vow and dear that that sexual investment would go to waste. You would have become those women who snoop all through the night and fight in public all day. He would have become miserable. It would have been a nightmare.
DeleteSecondly, his ability to bear a grudge would have made marriage hell for a sensitive woman. Let someone like the chronicle poster have him.
It happened to me and we were married for less than 2 years. He bigamously married someone else less than a year into the marriage. I suffered a miscarriage, a still birth and even the last child sef died. My ex was evil to the core. Very very convincing. Turned so many people against me. Made me believe that I was crazy. He duped me of my money and even tried to take my house from me. Thankfully everything came out in the end. God has taken me to heights I could have never imagined. Those he plotted with have also been disgraced, in fact one was disgraced nationally. Story plenty but it's for my biography.
ReplyDeleteAnon 14: 37 pls sis come and share more. How did you find out? What makes you think he is conniving?
DeletePlease people if you want to share, give crucial details including if you pre- saw the signs and ignored, what you tried to remedy the situation etc
#notamanbashingthread# Let's discuss intelligently.
You are under Anonymous so fear not..
DeleteCome and finished the story please
It happened to me.
ReplyDeleteMany years ago. I attended a wedding at Bishop Vinning. There was probably more than 1 wedding.. As we were making our way out of the hall, a man walked in alone and had on white gloves. I glanced and hid behind the door. I refused to go talk with him.
That man was my boyfriend coming for his own wedding which happened to be at same venue.
I was dumbfounded. This was a man who had nothing and was collecting money from me. Owing shops around his house and when I go they will tell me he is owing them I will pay. I bought shirts for him cause he had no decent shirts. He was always thankful. He was after me for a long time before I agreed. He was good looking but empty pocket. We are from different state. I was working in a better establishment. I used to cook from my house and carry to his empty house. His brothers will finish the food immediately Sonetimes, they won't even leave some for him. .
I later knew from his friend that he met that lady in a club called "Nightshift" and gbam, things hit off. The lady lives in Uk and is rich. He told me how they tried to talk him out of that marriage but he was adamant. Fine boy no pimples!
They hurriedly did the wedding and even changed accomodation. But the lady later ditched him when she got to know his financial status. And returned to UK. I never contacted him again but I was divastated cause I gave my all in the 2 years we were together.
Some men are Scum and GOLD diggers
Thank God for you
DeleteSome people are just evil.
DeleteHe came to eat your money no love for you.
DeleteThank God for you.
GOD saved you from him
DeletePlease be comforted all who have been involved with emotional robbers
God forbid bad thing .
ReplyDeleteIt happened to a neighbor tho, after her pastor confirmed to her that the man was her husband and the doctor guy wasn't.. they got married and few months after giving birth, d husband disappeared and moved in with another woman, she was older o .
By the time their wedding was a year theret was already serious fire on the mountain, hubby abandoned wife at home with her baby, moved in with another woman and didn't come home in months, all within the first year of marriage.
She celebrated the baby 1year birthday too alone.
I was still young when this happened and i still think about it. I don't even know where she is now
My spouse abandoned our marriage for no tangible reason whatsoever. I cried for 6months and I became a shadow of myself. The marriage was just in it sophomore, no child and he was the reason for the childlessness(this was known to us during our cause of medical check to ascertain why we were not pregnant). He was cheating also and the emotional abuse was just too much. I picked the pieces of my life and moved on. I am getting gradually healed and I am waiting for the divorce process to begin and end. Even if he comes back begging, I LL never accept him back. I was good to him and patient as well. I swallowed a lot of nonsense just to make the marriage work but I believe God is preparing a better man and a better home for me. The holyspirit truly comforts. I am much better now.
ReplyDeleteWipe your tears
DeleteCry no more
You will meet your own single handsome and rich man
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Cry no more. Better days ahead!
DeleteMy Ex abandoned me the moment I got pregnant. It’s been three hard years and to think I still love him and I am still keeping my self for him. I love him so much. It’s so hard to move on. I have been wanting to send chronicles but scared you people will finish me.
ReplyDeleteWe might not!
DeleteSomeone abandoned you when you were pregnant and it's been 3 years now but you still love him?
DeleteLoving a man who doesnt love you is like pouring water into a basket. It will never stay. Even if be comes back, the maltreatments you will suffer ehh, na you go run this time around.
He does not deserve you.
Love yourself.
Love your child.
Open your heart to finding love again and forget him please.
Pls send in your chronicles so that we can learn from it. We all make mistakes so no one has any right to insult you. E-hugs
Delete‘still keeping myself for him’. Anon plz receive sense today! Move on!!!!
DeleteCommon dear, try as much as possible to pick d pieces of yourself and move on. We all make mistakes, you got pregnant so just learn from it. Don't put yourself in bondage with a man that has moved on, re-discover yourself and learn to live life in full. You have the strength of the Almighty, His grace is available to you.
Delete@ 15:25 follow Anonymous 15:47 advice....
DeleteVery good advice.
1000 likes
Your story just reminded me of a movie 'Tiwa's baggage'. I think you should move on, you deserve to be happy
DeleteThank you so much guys. I’m really trying to move on Infact I have been trying for the last one year. But it’s just so hard. Plus we stopped have sex a year ago and I still love this nigga
DeleteLet it out sis,where has he been for 3years???
DeleteSo there is this Nigerian guy who is based in one of the Asian countries and married to an Asian woman. He has kids with the Asian woman, but according to him, he married her so that he can get his papers.
ReplyDeleteRecently this guy is asking me to marry him while still married to the Asian woman. He said it's a normal thing and that most Nigerian ladies do it. He promise to give me a better life and I will also have the opportunity travel out and visit in the country he is based. The Asian woman will once in a while visit Nigeria with her kids.
Please is there any one who has gone through this or Know what it feels like. Honestly I have seen a lot of women who are married to such men, but I don't know how they cope. I rejected the man's proposal afterall, but some people are saying that am not wise for doing that. Mind you the Asian woman will never know about the marriage as everything will be hidden from her. Please did I do the right thing by rejecting the marriage proposal.
Forget this caricature arrangement
DeleteHave standards
Don't do it. You are the wise one. They are the foolish ones.
DeleteIs the Asian woman not a person with feelings that she should be treated so badly?!! He even had children with her. Evil man. He's showing you his character and because of artificial abroad you're considering him. Nigerian women and marriage smh
DeleteWill you visit the country as his sister or what? Your marriage to him cannot be accepted by the embassy when you pay for visa. He won't even invite you because that will get him in big trouble since he is legally married to the lady. You'll just be his 9ja sidechick/baby mama. I hate men that use those women for papers and do stiff like this.
DeleteYou will be a kept woman ma'am,is that the life you want for yourself??
DeleteThe only thing you need right now is to love yourself and your child. No wicked man is worth wasting your love on.
ReplyDeleteIt is well with you.
I am abandoning my boyfriend. It’s been 6yrs of unseriousness. He doesn’t care about anything but his friends, party and deceiving other girls. Fucking them and running away.
ReplyDeleteI have caught him before and we got back together, stupid decision. After he fucks these girls after deceiving them, he will block them. Some even travel from abroad to fuck him, thinking they are in a relationship. He’s stingy so I know they spend on him, he spends on me though.
One even came to his house once and was crying at the door. I was shocked. I have tried breaking up with him but he won’t agree, he will fight his way back. The relationship is not going anywhere, so I am getting married to someone else soon. If he like he should die. I am tired.
He’s a time waster and he obviously has psychological problems. Those 5yrs were drama filled to say the least. The only way you can get away from toxic people is to abandon them. Maybe that will make them sit up and learn some lessons about life and, treating good people.Lots of selfish people abandon people but lots of people abandoned are a problem or danger to their partners.
Just break up with him and leave
DeleteYou might marry that new man and he may not be all that then you start craving for your toxic ex because you had no closure.
Just leave that guy
Observe the new guy for some time before jumping
Heal yourself
KING XOXO MYSTERY
I hv 2 cute son, I stood by him until he got his paper in d abroad only for him to b acting like he has he whole world now , at any slight misunderstanding he abandons I n d kids , he only calls maybe at his free time, when there is no girl with him, when he comes back to Nigeria once in a year, there is no female name on earth that is not on his phone, he claims they r his business partners, I am so fed up but on d other hand I don't hv a dim , he doesn't want me to work or do anything, yet he only just send feeding money that's all, oya since u r now a citizen file for us to come join u, he says I like to quarrel a lot, so he is scared of taking us, becos if I quarrel there the government would take the children, so it's best we stay here, I don't know what to make out of thinking anymore, my parents r late n my only brother is working in the service of d Lord, I really do want to leave but to where n with what....
ReplyDeleteIs he tying your two hands not to work?
DeleteYour destiny is in your hands
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Get busy. He is living his best life, live yours. Engage yourself in something productive that will earn you money.
DeleteMadam, contact the British embassy and get your children their British passport...
DeleteAnon 17:25, I really pity your condition. But sis, please look for a job or learn any vocation. Start building yourself. That man is waiting for his kids to come of age, he will file for them when they are grown and leave you behind. By then, he would have stopped sending feeding money. Please how will you cope by then? Please get up and do something great for yourself. He is living the life.
DeleteI saw the sign of unseriousness but was clouded with pity and agreed to marry him. He abandoned me for close to a year after our first child. I really wanted to move on but naija people refused me preaching how it is bad to be a single mum. I was convinced to swallow my pride call him and apologised. I did ooo and it landed me with another pregnancy. This time around i was feed up and didnt care anymore. He felt he was doing me a favour by coming back. Last last he left when i was six month pregnant with all the properties. I cried, i even called Stella one night likethat but she said she was busy with her kids. I was just thinking how i was going to cope with two kids. One night after crying myself to sleep as usual i woke up calm and peaceful how it happened i dont know. I gave myself brain to move on with my life. I am gradually picking up the pieces of my life. Although it not easy but my trust is in God. He has not reached me but is using stupid method to see our kids. I am not blocking him from seeing his children but he must acknowledge me their mother. Everyday i still wonder what I did to deserve this but my redeemer liveth. I live now for my kids as soon as my second boy clocks one then i can decide on what i actually want. I dont want to jump into another relationships cause of fear of unknown and i dont want anything to take my attention from my kids. Men can be cunny, they are ready to promise you heaven on earth just to lead you on. When I am actually ready for another relationship I pray not to meet his type. I fell for His quietness not know he has a wicked heart.
ReplyDeleteIt happened to me. I was in my final year in school,2nd semester when he called me to go and check my inbox on facebook. There I saw the break up message 1 week to my exam,he said he never loved me for the 2 1/2 years we dated,he tried but he couldn't that God will provide for me a man that will truly love me. Prior to that he stopped calling for months,I guess he needed to let me know he had moved on and I should stop waiting. He used me ehn,I washed cloth for him in his house,left me washing to see another babe,fasted and prayed for him to get a job which he did( cos he didn't have one when I met him). In the 2years, I broke up with him when he was comparing me to my friend but he apologised and told me he asked me out and I had no right to break his heart,not knowing it was a scam,he didn't want his friends to know I did the break up so he lured me on till he did the break up instead. He caused me my 2:1 cos I dropped to 2:2 with that my 2nd semester result. I never said a word,I just replied and adviced him to not lure/lead girls on when he doesn't have any feelings for them,accepted his break up,thanked him and moved on( thank God i left with my virginity intact)My 3rd semester he started calling to beg me to forgive him cos he was implicated at work and he was jailed for 3- 6 months cant say,but he told me he's been in jail sha. Told him I've forgiven him but we can't be friends. That my friend he was comparing me with kept in touch with him(without my permission),she would always tell me the guy was disturbing her about me(me that I had moved on) and said I didn't want to talk to him because I still had feelings for him. I met my husband,the love of my life. Few weeks to my wedding,he saw me at my salon and was pushing me to come visit him(not knowing he's had a bet with my friend to sleep with me)because to him my hips has come out which means I've started having sex,so he needs to have a taste of me.. but God passed them,told him I dnt want to have anything to do with him.Long story,tired to type. 10years later he is still begging me to forgive him,seems he couldn't move. Who cares his cup of tea. Enjoying my life with my beautiful family to the glory of God
ReplyDeleteSorry for the typos...I was rushing.
DeleteAvoid that your friend at all cost
DeleteRun when she is coming
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Tufia at such "friends"
DeleteThank GOD for your restraint
Delete@anonymous18:37, you can imagine him going to her house 1st before coming to mine when we were in school or he would come,drop his bags and then the ne4xt thing is I want to take a stroll,then I'd later realise he went to her house. People kept asking me if she was the girlfriend.. Karma has dealt with her in many ways sha. I give God the glory because he fought for me and he is still fighting for me
DeleteYou lost me at 3rd semester. Does that exist? Okbye
DeleteSparkle, she must have meant 3rd year.
DeleteThis is sad and so Heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteHmmm it happened to me, we had some issues which caused our sepration. I tried working things out but he was unco-operative.
ReplyDeleteTo cut a long story short, he just stopped calling and this will be the second year he saw his son last. I am thankful i didnt lose my life because i was so depressed. I am healing everyday and i hope to find love again. It is well.
My uncle married a new wife after being married for 22years.
ReplyDeleteWhen his wife found out that day (through village people asking why she no come the trad) she fainted. She had to be rushed to the hospital.
Why are some people wicked???? She was with him when he had nothing, he became rich n she meant nothing to him.
Now the so called new wife is asking for peace after u refuse to acknowledge her for 7years????
I'm grateful ,my uncle's first wife has kids doing so well so they take care of her so well. Did she recover from the shock? No!!! She current manages herself for high blood pressure.
It happens to me,was married and TTC for almost four years,we did everything to get pregnant no way,his family was already causing trouble asking him to send me packing because I couldn't give him a child, not knowing that he was part of the cause,he had low sperm count,less than 10million,yet I never said anything to anyone, this people rendered me useless, refused me to work with my certificate, reasons being that I might pass his sisters who has been eating money before me, report me to his family and when they come to the house they will not let me say my own side of the story,we went for IVF it failed that was the last straw cus his family knew that we going for the procedure before we even started, no secret in our home,he tells his family everything,I lost uncle and traveled home for the burial,he sent me a text that i should remain there for sometime that he needs a break,then called my brother that he doesn't want to see me in his house anymore,I called him to ask him about some of my stuffs since I didn't come with much clothes,he just waybill some of my things and they seized the rest. Up till now my family are still asking him to come take his dowry since he is nologer interested in the marriage he refused to come,I heard that he has remarried but I wasn't even bothered,my only anger is the time wasted,I left my life,job and relocated to his base and he left me with nothing,I was not even allowed to pick my personal stuff,my books,old photos and some of my favorites clothes and shoes, but all the same I thank God for His mercies,am working but the pay is not very good still believing God for a better job with good salary
ReplyDeleteYou should have have paid a police officer to go with you to pick up your stuff or paid some area boys. How do you allow people mistreat you and leave it for God? Me will take care of it here before we reach heaven o. All the same thank God for you, glad you have moved on, God will through for you.
Delete