My fellow BVs please, I need your help.
My husband's sister came from the UK in March for a few days stay before going back(before flights were stopped). She normally stay in our house anytime she comes to Nigeria. So when she came this last time, I already have this corona virus scare and I told my husband that she should put up in the hotel since she would be staying for a few days and I don't mind paying for her accommodation. I also told him that if she should stay with us, she will only be staying in the guest room downstairs and she won't have access to my kids. My husband got offended and said that I'm trying to start avoiding his family even when my points were not difficult to understand.
Mind you this her sister will never give me or my kids any gift whenever she comes back not even chocolate. But whenever she's going back or we go visiting in the UK, I always take things to her especially noodles, Agege bread, dry ewedu and okro, amala and so many other things in large quantities. I have never even considered that since she doesn't give me I won't give her in return. And my husband won't even give me money to buy any of them but will ask me if I have bought so and so and that I know she loves this.
The day she arrived, I left the kids upstairs and I wore mask and glove to welcome her, she felt offended and was asking if I gave her coronavirus. I told her that it's all preventive measures that it doesn't mean she has it.
That's the offense I committed o, she said she can't stay there if that's how I'm welcoming her, in my heart I felt so happy sef. She and my husband spoke language and me I barely understand their language. The next thing my husband said I should pull everything and come and apologize to her and then welcome her properly. I was really angry and that was the first time and disagreeing with him in our 11 years together. I didn't show my anger but I was trying to let my husband understand but he won't even listen to me.
So she said she won't stay there with us, I offered to take her to the hotel or my driver take her but she rejected both offer. I had to book bolt for her. When she was living after 4 days, I bought the usual stuff I normally buy for her packaged them and took them to the hotel for her and she collected without a single utter of appreciation. About 2 weeks after she had traveled, I was chatting with one of her daughters(I and that daughter of hers are so close to a fault) and she was telling me that 2 days after she came back, she became sick and was hospitalized and when the test result came out, it showed that she had Covid19 and she instructed them not to tell us.
The day she arrived, I left the kids upstairs and I wore mask and glove to welcome her, she felt offended and was asking if I gave her coronavirus. I told her that it's all preventive measures that it doesn't mean she has it.
That's the offense I committed o, she said she can't stay there if that's how I'm welcoming her, in my heart I felt so happy sef. She and my husband spoke language and me I barely understand their language. The next thing my husband said I should pull everything and come and apologize to her and then welcome her properly. I was really angry and that was the first time and disagreeing with him in our 11 years together. I didn't show my anger but I was trying to let my husband understand but he won't even listen to me.
So she said she won't stay there with us, I offered to take her to the hotel or my driver take her but she rejected both offer. I had to book bolt for her. When she was living after 4 days, I bought the usual stuff I normally buy for her packaged them and took them to the hotel for her and she collected without a single utter of appreciation. About 2 weeks after she had traveled, I was chatting with one of her daughters(I and that daughter of hers are so close to a fault) and she was telling me that 2 days after she came back, she became sick and was hospitalized and when the test result came out, it showed that she had Covid19 and she instructed them not to tell us.
She was later taken to the ICU cos her case became so serious. She said I shouldn't tell anyone but I should put her in my prayers, that she knows that God answers my prayers. I was amazed.
Recently my husband heard that she was ill and started blaming me, he said that she might have got the virus from the hotel I forced her to stay in. The truth is that my hubby and his family have been a difficult family to please. Before we got married it was all sugar but immediately after marriage he changed totally and I've been trying my best to manage every situation to avoid any bad story.
I know people will say it's cos of the stay at home that I'm seeing all these but the truth is that it has been there and I don't just like telling anyone what's happening in my marriage. The first time my cousin came to stay with us cos she got a job in our state, she was there when my mother in law and my husband were using their language to discuss about me of doing runs before I got married that if not how did I get so much money to have the cars and the house we all live in. My cousin told me cos she understands the language. When I asked my husband, he asked me if I think he doesn't know even when he knows where I work and how much I'm paid. I let it slide but my cousin said I should throw them out. I had to rent a house for her cos I don't want family interference in my marriage.
But recently, I think I'm going crazy. The truth is before I got married, I'm a no nonsense person. I mean, I don't even take any nonsense from anyone. But when I wanted to get married, the advice from parents, mentors and every other person kept pointing at letting yourself go and putting the other person first. It was difficult for me but being that I wanted the marriage to work, I gave in everything; my 100% but I can't say so for my husband. The truth is that if he had tried this before I got pregnant, I would have opted out immediately. But he forced me to get pregnant immediately after our wedding even when we discussed that we should do that after 1 year of marriage.
The way he doesn't listen to me, the emotional blackmail(mind you he has never laid his finger on me but the way he shouts at me like a baby), his family comes to my house uninvited and stay for as long as they want and when I ask him he would say that they told him already. Sometimes I would ask him to tell me too so I can be aware but he'd tell me that I'm just looking for trouble where there isn't. That if I don't want his family in my house I should tell him so he too can leave. After he made that statement I stopped asking cos I don't want any problem. Sometimes, I take him out for us to talk things out but no he wouldn't listen to me.
I think I'm tired of all this. I'm fed up already. I'm scared that if I go back to my normal no nonsense personality he can't even handle half of it cos I will give him double of what he gives me. Please my head is going crazy and I can't think straight. How do you all think I should handle this?
Use Newtons third law of Motion on him please....Since he wont hear or listen to you,then go back to how you used to be...Sometimes lessons need to be taught..if he values his sister or family so much,you are also someones sister and family...
May God not allow us fall into the hands of the wrong person.
ReplyDeleteAll these things you listed above is enough to drive one crazy. Your husband is a manipulative wicked man. He's fond of always turning the table against you. I can't imagine my hubby gossiping about me with his mother. He's supposed to be your shield and defender but unfortunately he's the one feeding you to the wolves. Pray for wisdom to handle all these wahala and look for away out of all these mess before he drives you mad.
DeleteThat family is just using you. They probably feel you have plenty and they have a right to all you have. If you've been too generous with them, you need to reduce it...
DeleteHe's shameless to ask you if you've bought things for His sister without giving you money for it. And his sister sef will collect with saying thank you... They 're using you.
nah wa to the Poster. if u can type this long epistle, i wonder the extent you will talk if ask to comment.
DeleteThe problem is just "your in law came back from UK but cos of the fear of Covid-19, you reacted that she should stay in an hotel and few days later, you discovered through the daughter that she has d virus. The blame is on you cos u didn't allow her stay in your house and must have contacted d virus through the hotel, says your husband." This is just the problem, Other stories are unnecessary.
Solution: you have achieved your aim by doing the right thing. Focus on your children and try to quarantine them, get natural immune boosters and font entertain any other visitors. Leave your husband with his foolishness and continue your normal, act as if nothing happened. You can even call the woman to monitor her health.Their is nothing in this life.
Speechless. It is well ma.
Delete16:24 you are a total idiot... Wicked human. U must be a man like the poster. Your comment made me angry.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteGbam Stella I gi ya
DeletePoster, if what you typed up here is exactly what happened, I commend you for being so patient and kind. A husband should be his wife's crown and not thorns. From what you narrated, are you older than your husband? Did you marry him? From your story, it seems he married you for your money and him and his family are trying to milk you dry while you are trying to remain married. I am going to be blunt. This man does not love you in any way. If he can do all these to you after the way you said you have been handling things, it means he has an ulterior motive. You have to be careful and prayerful that he does not eliminate you to inherit your wealth or lead you into making investments in his name and then divorces you. What kind of man will shame his wife before his mum and still go and ahead and sleep with the wife? Who raised this kind of men? Please, it is better to be alive for your kids than being dead as a married woman. Be careful with who you have under your roof. But if you have been intimidating him with your wealth that might be the reason he resorted to bringing you down emotionally. Your kids deserve a better home so please give them one. Your husband is a manipulator.
DeleteWhat a wicked family you married into. She most likely had the virus before coming to Nigeria. Thank God for the wisdom you used. She might have spread the virus to those at the hotel. Very wicked sister who didn't put her nieces or/nephews into consideration. God knows I don't have time for rubbish. Do you because that family doesn't have your best interest at heart. Live for you and your kids. What a wicked family.
DeleteI saw this late but I have to comment. This woman na better wife oo, nobody is perfect, yes you are permitted to have some flaws too but you ticked the right boxes to make a virtuous woman 70% or more. I won't talk about your husband because I don't know his story. You conceded to their gossip sha but that's inconsequential to us(U&Me)! I pray nothing bad comes your way from his side(family, etc) though. Don't
Deleteresort to condescending to his level as Stella suggests, you seem too advanced in psyche for that. I give you double twale, no fall everybody hand abeg(your kids inclusive).
Anon 16:24, what is your business with the length of her chronicle? Some of you are just critical and impossible. If she had typed just that, you will say she did not supply enough information to get adequate advice. Please leave her be. When it's time to type your own chronicle, you may send in an abridged version. Those of us who like to read are not complaining.
DeleteAmen.
DeleteThese men and their family matter. This same type of issue caused so much problem in my marriage till today I don't even love my husband anymore. My dear, I don't have any advice for you, may God help us all.
DeleteThat's how my wife is. She gossips me with her mother. Reports everything in our house to her mother, while she was doing runs in singles and mingles. I have filed for divorce, we are still in the process. I dont wish anyone to marry a manipulative woman who will claim victim when they wronged u.
DeleteWhoever fails to understand what this poster is going through must be heartless. Some men have refused to grow up. Sad indeed.
DeleteIn your house and you are taking all these rubbish!!!Throw them out,I'm sure he is milking you dry.who calls his wife a runs girl,he has no love and respect for you,he only married you for your money
ReplyDeleteGaskia no love and respect. That runs girl gossip disgust me the most. I mean how low will you hubby go with your name inside your own house? Its obvious you're married to yourself. He doesn't have any love nor respect for you. Omase ooo.
DeleteExactly what irks me. You called your wife and the mother of your kids a runs girl.
DeleteMadam, show him the other side of you, the nonsense side.
Maybe, it will reset his brain.
There is no brain to reset. The man never loved the poster from the onset. Imagine she had to mellow down for her to marry her husband.
DeleteWomen loosing their identity and sacrificing just to get married. What did the man sacrifice in return. From your write up you never stated if your husband is gainfully employed or self employed.
Poster kindly read what you sent in and think through what you would advise some one in a similar situation.
Also note if you go crazy and land in a psychiatric home, you are on your own. Your husband will just kolobi everything and leave you in the hands of your family.
Please take care of your mental health and be strong for your kids. With what you sent in, you have being married to yourself for 11years and is not likely to change.
Women and chronicles, it is well.
Lovelace.
Chai!!! See what women go through in marriage just to stay married. Imagine the effontry!!! Discussing your wife with your mother as a runs girl? That's the lowest of the lows!!!
ReplyDeleteLowest of the lowest. I'm angry reading this chronicle. Poster must be a very nice and forgiving person. If I were in her shoes won ni duru Wotan both him and his amebo mama.
DeleteJust so terrible and shameless. Yet they are using both hands to eat from the proceeds of 'runs'
DeleteIn fact,I'm beyond shocked,and angry on her behalf,most women stay back in marriages that destroy them because they are totally dependent on the man,I can't have all my stuffs going well for me and one bastard will be talking shit about with the siblings,na to clear them sharply.
DeleteYou are a good mother. I love how you protect your kids. Any can't person would have reacted the same way you did considering she just left the states before coming over. She is just an insensitive person and your husband he was careless.
ReplyDeleteI think you have allowed so many things for long without acting. It's time you put your feet on the ground andet your man know what you would take or wouldn't. The next time he shouts, don't let it slide. You aren't a kid who needs scolding for crying out loud. You are both adults and should be able to thrash out issues respectfully.
You need to be kept abreast of his family visit if not for any other reason but courtesy demands he accords you that respects. He is so disrespectful to you , gosh! I think you have spoilt him and enabled his excesses for so long. Get your dignity back.
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Delete💯💯💯💯💯💯
DeleteThe house you guys are living in is even yours? Nigerian men will embarrass you in top your property. 🙆🏻♀️🙆🏻♀️
ReplyDeleteSo the sister still collected all the things you bought for her and still vexing? Nigerian inlaws will embarrass you on top your gifts.
🙆🏻♀️🙆🏻♀️
So the sister truly got the virus and her brother (your husband) is still blaming you somehow? Embarrassment everywhere.
🙆🏻♀️🙆🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I weak! Her pride let her collect goodies? Shameless woman
DeleteOf course she will collect now. She is a greedy cow just like her mother. To have the guts to come into your house after the government told all returnees to self isolate for 14 days and be doing yanga. POster you are too soft. Please secure your investments, savings and properties in your name alone (maiden name not mrs name o as the man can claim the mrs xyz name is his mother's) and then kick them to the nearest curb)
DeleteThey are just using her, it's so sad!!
DeleteThe husband knows how desperately she wants to stay married, that's why he's threatening with leaving..... Let him go nah!!!
Mscheeew!!!
Is it just me or I didn't see Ang's comment on here?
DeleteLet me perch and learn something new. In-laws and their plenty wahala. My BIL goes out everyday.Where he goes nobody knows. How can a 40yr old man be so inconsiderate. Mtscheeew... I just pray for God to keep us safe. The children has been stopped from going to his room. And to think of how he begged to stay for 6months. Almost 1 year now. Totally shameless and irresponsible. I have to decided to stay quiet since hubby warned him once and he refused. Because if you open your mouth now, they will say you don't like the family.
ReplyDeletePlease keep your children away from an adult's room, covid or no covid.
DeletePoster, you're such a good woman and that your sister in-law is a wicked woman. Yes, she is a wicked woman that think they did you a favour marrying you.
ReplyDeleteShe already had that virus in the UK before coming to Nigeria. Your chronicle would have been a different one, if you had not wore mask and gloves to welcome her.
How can someone that lives in the UK have such a nonchalant attitude. Only God knows how many people she came in contact with and how many she infected.
Don't listen to what your husband is saying, trying to put the blame on you. Your husband is another bad man, he is the one gossiping about you with his family, that's why they don't respect you.
He is not even ashamed of himself. You built the house that you both live in and he's there saying rubbish. He can't even protect his immediate family.
You need to be strict to some extent with both your husband and his family members, since they have refused to have sense.
Ms.A you just said everything
DeleteHusband that should even be grateful to God that she didn't infect him is there blaming someone. Silly family
DeleteI feel your pain poster. But you still need to be patient. Since he hasn't resulted to domestic violence. Just make sure you stand on your feet whenever it comes to decisions that concern you and your children health. Don't allow anybody to dictate how you will raise your kids. Your hubby will come around. Just keep praying for him. All the best sis.
ReplyDeleteEh ? So someone calling you a former prostitute and risking your children to covid 19 is not good enough? Do you know that women are human beings too with dignity ? If she got this covid now the husband will say it’s a disease she got from being a former runs girl. When a man hates you, NOTHING you do will be good in his sight. And for some reason a lot of men marry women they dislike to please society or because of her money or beauty. And start punishing the woman
DeleteSince it has not result to domestic violence na was oh! So she should pray about something she should put her feet on the ground and say no to.
DeletePlease poster it's time to put your feet on the ground and no more nonsense, please for your sanity,go back to the you and act decisively.Take charge!
Poster I think a 100+ people on here will not mislead you sis!
DeleteI won't say leave the marriage but at this time sis change em for the man
It's not the issue of pray for the man
As I advise you,I take my own advice too put your foot down and take charge of your family especially your kids!!
You will be fine dear!
I totally understand what you are going through!
E never reach domestic violence abi? What if she and her kids had caught COVID-19 and died? This man exposed his family to serious risks. He is irresponsible I'm sorry to say. Poster how could you have survived in such a marriage with such man for 11 years? I raise hand for you. You are a strong woman. But it's not BVs that will tell you what to do. It's your marriage we are talking about - a sacred covenant you entered into before God and man. Are you a believer? Are you a christian? Pray and ask God for the next steps because that your hubby is a very selfish human being and I don't know if he can change at his age.
DeleteHonestly na blessing in disguise say I never marry before this covid19 lockdown because God knows I still need to work on how I address and say things. I.think u were even nice. And na wa for some men. Sorry to.say but your husband is a bit stupid, uneducated and does not care for the safety of you and the kids. This is not a time for being overly traditional or offended.if he was a proper head of house he wasn't supposed to even allow any visitor for now not to talk of from UK. I know parents can also add to our desperation as ladies by telling us to take it easy and compromise in marriage. But I'm sorry you have to add small diplomacy and wicked sense to deal with some husband and in laws. Smile in their front but pinch them for back so they get the point without being offended. Eg. You would have come up with a way of convincing your husband not to allow her come because definitely anyone that is coming from a very infected area to stay with people is a wicked person and does not care about safety precaution.
ReplyDeleteThis one na marriage of convenience nne. That man cares not for your safety or your health not to talk of your kids. This is why I am so scared when I see ladies marry men in lower income bracket or being breadwinner Soon. The man may even start saying that u are too rude because u have money. After chopping your money ohh. Imagine the idiot implying you're a runs girl. Hmmm
ReplyDeleteI think that's the problem. She married beneath her class, hence the man is feeling insecure and seeking validation from his family by gossiping her to them. He should even be ashamed for marrying someone that 'did runs to buy cars and build the house he lives in'
DeleteIf he is actually ashamed, make he vex go build him own. Nonsense.
I am so angry on posters behalf.
Anyway, the way forward is to go back to default settings maybe he will start having little respect for you. That's why one of my guiding principles is not to start what I cant finish ooo. Also seek Gods face in all of these.
DeleteANG pls come and complete that your gist, the one you shared on spouses lockdown tales
ReplyDeleteMy own is that the day I was planning for boo to come over, NCDC for the first time sent me corona text message. I was afraid and had to tell my boo to stay back. Since then, its been three messages per day. One in the morning, one afternoon and one night (all telling me to live responsibly). I don tire. I kukuma decided to keep penis matter aside. NCDC, una don win.
ReplyDeleteI had to tell mine to stop sending me messages. He's even scared than I am. He even gave me gloves and face masks to use.
DeleteHe is blackmailing you emotionally, but truth is your guy belongs to the group who don't appreciate women that gives them. Abeg stop given him money, he will reset. Meanwhile isolate yourself because your husband might carry this stuffs. Or she picked it from Air port while returning back
ReplyDeletePoster,I know it's difficult but please you have to use wisdom. I'm sure you married a Yoruba man. I'm sorry to say that that's how they are. Please ask God for wisdom because of your beautiful kids. You need God's direction as to what to do.
ReplyDeleteBe yourself poster, start appreciating yourself, love yourself some
ReplyDeleteThank God you stood your ground when sil visited, your husband clearly doesn't love you, he married you cos of what you have to offer.
ReplyDeletePoster I would advise you to push back on the man. Give him a dose of what he dishes out. Also, be prepared to walk away from that marriage if it continues. If what you've posted is all true, then I'll say he doesn't appreciate you. He obviously values his family over y'all's family. He is a very selfish man.
ReplyDeleteOne sided miss perfect chronicle. Tell your husband and his sister to send in their versions
DeleteHmm
Deletethe funny thing is if he sees a runs girl can be open his mouth and insult her in his presence? Is it not his fellow men that marry former runs babes and take care of them? Such men will insult their wives but their girlfriends will be insulting them. Keep your money and investments in your name ONLY and one day rent somewhere else, move there and disappear. Leave him a note that he’s a righteous man and you don’t want to taint him with your runs money. That man is wicked and jealous and your success and kindness upsets him. Beware that one day he won’t kill you. Except you are willing to risk your life to answer Mrs. We support you regardless. It’s your life
ReplyDeleteApt!!!!
DeleteCorrect!
DeleteThank you. Especially that killing part.. I wanted to say but just didn't wanna scare her .men from low income homes love marrying up and enjoying a woman's money but will still have deep seated hatred and disgust from her. I mean where is the sense??? I learned from my ex n now he has jumped to another girl from rich family in obodo oyinbo due to hook up from his cousin. Because the girl is a doctor. Pele o. I sha pity that poor girl because she is in for a wild ride. That kain family they are very funny, deceitful and opportunistic
DeleteAnon 16.12 🙌🏽👌💋
Delete17:46
DeletePlease pity her and anonymously send a message warning her
He doesn't truly loves you. No man treats his wife like a runs girl n even call her one even if he's angry as joke. We see ladies as our prides n I won't be surprised if later in the marriage they got him another wife. Just weigh ur options, may the good Lord see u through.
ReplyDeleteAll I pray for is God's wisdom to handle him and his family. Please, don't use the no-nonsense approach cos it may cost you your home, except you are ready to let go of your home.
ReplyDeletePlease pray for God's wisdom. It is well with you.
Do you think she actually has a home? What do you think this man would do if he stumbles on a bit of cash or meets a more desperate woman willing to bear Mrs in addition to a barrage of insults. She has wasted 11 years in the marriage that never was. Who will she report to if she has problems- the MIL who thinks she is a prosritute?
DeletePoster, the mistake you would make is thinking that you can be as toxic as these people- exchanging words with your husband or being dramatic- trying it will age you fast as it is not your default setting but theirs. Just go poker-faced and ignore them. When next your husband puts his relatives above your children or yourself, put your foot down and insist on the safer and saner option without letting them raise your voice or run you mad. DON'T GIVE HIM ANY MONEY directly and please, stop the nonsense of giving gifts to those who do t give you. Just ignore him. If he can afford it, there would be many women more desperate than you who would dry his tears this period- let them. Consider yourself as commited to this sham of a marriage as he is.
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DeleteIf husband is richer than his wife,you give wife headache. If wife is richer than her husband,you still give wife headache. What do men really want?
ReplyDeleteMy dear be very careful so that your husband and his family does not conspire to kill you. Because is obvious he married you because of your money. Be careful tread with caution they are evil and dangerous. Keep all your property documents safe from him. I warm again becareful.
ReplyDeleteMy dear!!! You have said it all. Such greedy evil opportunistic family. They can do and undo. I saw signs in my own relationship..Thank God I japa before marriage or babies. These ones will dry her up emotionally and mentally before they plan to end her life. She better be ready for war
DeleteWicked in-law and husband. Ur husband doesn't love you, he is just there because of what you have. Throw them out like rubbish asap
ReplyDeleteHmmm even with my hubby having more money than me I wont take such rubbish talkless of me having enough money. respect is reciprocal and marriage is not do or die affair
ReplyDeleteWhat women see in marriage,sometimes is unbearable,I didn't drop my no nonsense attitude after marriage,I was so damn ready for any body,and I get triggered easily,in fact I didn't pretend,or tried to please anybody, like me or not,I once told my sister in law that if I see her in my house,I'm going to throw her down from the balcony,told her a second time to her face,is good to stand your ground,in your case you need to wear your old cloak back,cos this your hubby doesn't deserve you at all.
ReplyDeleteHE is an insensitive man. Which man acts the way he did without putting his health and that of his family first. I still say it, any man that can not protect his wife from his family is not ready to be called a man. All this is happening on top of your house and money. Even discussing shit with his mother, instead of protecting u and praising you. Chai! You have had enough, for me I dont give a fuck about his sister or how she feels. Madam, time to be your real self. Take your life back and dont give any fuck!
ReplyDeleteJust imagine! Thank God, u are one of those who takes the corona virus seriously. My advice, push back. Let them notice you will not continue to take nonsense. Such ingrates!
ReplyDeletePoster I'm glad you stood your ground,coronavirus is not something anyone should joke with. Your husband shouldn't have that conversation with your mum no matter what it wasn't necessary.Just do the needful that will make you happy
ReplyDeleteThat bitch of husband don't love you. He can even kill u one day to inherit your properties. U are just living with a stranger.
ReplyDeletePoster listen to these comments and ponder deeply about it.
DeleteHmmm! Your hubby is just wicked and stupid(God forbid) even if you die today,he won't give a damn about you and your children.
ReplyDeleteThat bitch of husband don't love you. He can even kill u one day to inherit your properties. U are just living with a stranger.
ReplyDeleteWicked husband and inlaws
ReplyDeleteHian this kind thing e get as e be o
ReplyDeleteHe married you cos of money..good riddance to bad rubbish, imagine how that virus would have spread with you guys been infected..choi tis well
ReplyDeletePoster please be careful cause this type of husband no be am. They all lack home training, from mother to son to daughter. I hope you havnt made any mistake of putting his name on any of your property tho cause I’m even scared for you on your behalf.
ReplyDeleteI'm Thanking God for her that she doesn't live abroad.. this kind husband can kill his wife just for the insurance money. Hungry wicked somebody
Deletethis Chronicle annoyed me to no end.
ReplyDeletewhy do women have to let themselves go completely because of some mediocre marriage and husband?
the husband ain't even worth it !
Nigerian women are really really getting shortchanged because of marriage.
damn and it's not attractive.
woman drop that man !!
How did he know you were a runs girl , you probably told him. His sister coming to your house is the issue. Every other thing you wrote is just you wanting your fellow women to see things from your narrow perspective. She didn't stay in your house, she is not likely to ever stay in your house again. Problem solved , move on. Your no nonsense self, do you sincerely think he doesn't have the part of him you don't know. So your no nonsense self will cow him right? I am waiting chronicle 2 from you.
ReplyDeleteAlexander
Alexander, are u the husband?? Or the husbands sister. Make we know.
DeletePele o Alexa. I'm very sure you're the same person up there. You'll be fine you hear. Awon oko oshi.
DeleteMadam, please do not get emotional about this. Get practical. 1. Secure all your savings, investments and properties. 2. Go and visit a lawyer to see what your options are 3. Go back to how you were before and be your true self. 4. Your sister in law did not get Corona from the hotel. The incubation period is 14 days and can be even more. 5. ALWAYS put your children first no matter what and I am glad you did. Even the Nigerian government asked all visitors to Nigeria to self quarantine and this alakoba sister in law tried to disrespect the law. 6. When you are ready to throw all of those parasites out, do so without remorse. What arrant nonsense!!!
ReplyDeleteI would like to add, poster take point 3 here gradually, not suddenly but start with your husband, he will adjust. Above all, pray, pray and pray!
DeletePray that God should reveal their secret plans (husband and family) to you so you ll know how to deal with them tact fully. May God preserve you and your kids from any of their evil plots. Be slow to wrath, wise as serpent, gentle as a dove. The Lord will fight for you.
Dear Poster, please do not follow advice no. 3 by Anonymous 17.21 above. The rest are 100% correct. Further, whatever you do, please do not change the names on any property you presently have joint names on even if you solely bought it. Why? That may trigger desperate and murderous thoughts by interested parties. Just re-plan your life moving forward.
DeletePlease do not go back to your yesterday's person (character). Only use all wisdom and street sense you acquired then to protect yourself, your children, and any property you have in your name only today and the future one God gives you. Even the Bible says to be wise as a serpent but harmless as a dove.
Note your husband may be a visitor here too reading comments. If he is, I pray he takes corrections here and changes, and not take the condemnations here as a spur to pre-empt you by doing evil. Further, if you start any gra gra with him now, he would know where you are headed. So take it easy
Please do not start a fight with your husband. It is not worth it.
I am a man and a lawyer. If you were my client, above is what I would have advised you.
whatever you do, please also do not change ownership of jointly named property. Why? that would be the beginning of murderous thoughts if your
Poster, did you see Stella's article on destiny destroyers? Please search for the article, read the comments and borrow sense abeg.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wicked family. I hope your properties are in your name alone.
This is the problem with women marrying beneath their class. They have to swallow a lot of insults.
So your wife did runs yet you're comfortable living off her.
Poster, this family could be planning for your death or your financial ruin. Please, watch out.
Poster, please you need wisdom in dealing with your husband and his family. Ask God for wisdom, be careful because of your beautiful kids
ReplyDeleteSo he married a 'retired' runs girl because of money.. this is a very shameless and lazy man. He's manipulative and a user. A real man won't compromise marrying a lady of virtue for anything *side eyes*
ReplyDeleteHaba, was this the best you could pick for yourself? Or you thought you'd be able to control him with your cash?
Let me teach you a rule in treating people..first you treat them how you want to be treated, but if they're feeling entitled, you begin to treat them how they treat you. I'm totally with Stella on this.
I cant compromise my Happiness and peace of mind for any other thing in life.
Blessings.
I'm angry reading this,poster please put your feet down and gain back your respect if not you will always be the sad one in that marriage. I pray God see you through.
ReplyDeleteMy dear poster, I quite get your points and situation. The idea of stooping low to marry in the name of being a "Mrs" has caused lot of women their dignity.
ReplyDeleteYour husband came for your money. Stand your ground. You ave nothing to lose at this stage. You can take care of yourself and children if he decides ti back out of the marriage.
Imagine the rubbish in your own house. I am happy you protected your children. Dont even call her since they don't want you to know. At the begining of this covid 19 issue, my own junior brother arrived from London and stayed in a hotel but wanted to come know my place,but I said capital No. There is no visitors now. There was no lock down then. He did not pick offence. We are still siblings. We are good.
What the hell is wrong with your husband? You have tolerated too much. Pls handle him appropriately, since he is taking you for a ride. I know these UK people and their sense of entitlement. Very stingy and self centered. . You even bought stuff for her and she was not ashamed to collect.
What is exchange rate? They can never drop a kobo to assist you in the feeding even in your own house.
I travelled to UK and they always look forward to free goodies from Nigeria and they can never accomodate you free of charge.
If your husband continues to belittle you or sham you, please tell him off.
You are better off outside that so called marriage. They are using you.
after going back to your no nonsense life, pls send update on how it has been so far
ReplyDeleteThat is to say every other thing she wrote flew over your head.
DeleteSmh
See dem same WhatsApp group.Dante poor man
DeleteUngrateful husband is your hubby's 2nd name...
ReplyDeleteLet them not connive and smuggle the life out of you for the material things the believe you have in quantum.
ReplyDeleteTo them,they did you a huge Favour by marrying you.
What do i know?
after going back to your no nonsense life, pls send us update on how events turned out
ReplyDeletePoster you are walking on dangerous grounds. Please check if your property documents are still in your name, watch your foods and go for regular medical check ups.
ReplyDeleteFUCK WHAT IF SHE'S A RETIRED RUNZ GIRL?!
ReplyDeleteAre you not somebody's trash, ex, fwb, leftover, doormat, boy toy? KMT!
It is well with you poster. You have a good heart to have taken all this for 11 years. The man never loved you but married you for your money. I think it is time you sit with yourself and have a meeting with yourself. Can you continue to take what your hubby and in-law dish at you? If No, speak up for yourself.
ReplyDeleteAlso ensure you have all properties you buy with your money in your name, don't do blind love and have joint account with this man. He is in this union for personal interest.
Ur husband is obviously milking u and he is wicked I won't be surprised if he is planning to have another family using ur money
ReplyDeleteYou are living with a dangerous person. Beware
ReplyDeleteThey are just using you simple!
ReplyDeleteI agree with what Stella said. It's high time you teach that husband of yours how to respect you.
Ladies, do not settle. You cannot tolerate your way through marriage, you must reach your breaking point. Imagine a husband calling his wife a runs girl, disgustingly irresponsible.
ReplyDeleteMy mother of recent have started telling me not to settle too. How it is important to marry my purposeful partner. She wasnt like this before, but the stories and experiences including her own experience in marriage is making her talk differently.
Poster be yourself, 11 years of tolerance almost put you and your kids in harms way. Thank God you stood your ground.
Exactly. May God direct our path. Someone told me that my expectations are too high. Hmmmm I just said ok. So after praying to God, investing in myself and still striving to get better daily, I will now settle with just anyone? Calculating God's gift of long life, imagine the years ahead of me that people expect you to manage/cope with a direction less partner. I just kept my mouth mum and intensified my prayers to my God because in this journey, only he can grant one the true and desired gift of a life partner.
DeletePoster,Why going too far ?. You know what to do. Do what you have to do to avoid casualties on both sides. Make sure you are very reasonable and decisive.
ReplyDeletePoster this type of man can arrange ur death , if anything happens to u he won’t feel ur absence, be very careful and make sure his name is not on the property, dis u pay for your wedding or are I older than him? If that’s are the case, he doesn’t love u oo and he is clearly using u and throwing u to the wolves by gossiping about u to friends and family , above all he is a silly man and u have to be careful
ReplyDeleteA good man, a husband protects his family at all costs but yours exposes his. And that SIL of yours... such a self-centered, foolish, inconsiderate and ungrateful woman. If it were me that returned from overseas, I won't even come anywhere near my family or in-laws especially the ones with kids. This one is getting offended and forming nonsense vex because they welcomed her with face mask and gloves. Does she not watch the news??? She's ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteDid anyone read the part that she paid for the hotel?
ReplyDeleteListen dear Poster, you are setting an example for your daughter on how and what to tolerate, and to your son you are saying it is ok to treat a woman like trash.
If you have worked hard as described above your kids deserve better.
You can only buy affection for so long. Save yourself a lifetime of mystery, map out ab exit plan. Every man deserves a reset once in a while. Please take this as your clue. Don't let me make you become a mad angry woman. You deserve better. Focus your time and energy on you and what makes you happy. Move on, he will catch up, adjust and come back to beg or he will fall off. The point is you will have demonstrated an impeccable attitude to your kids. They will remember and respect you for this.