STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DEAD BEAT FATHER
God bless Stella and blog visitors........
God bless Stella and blog visitors........
This is my chronicle and i am open to criticism where necessary. The message is long and may be disjointed, just help me to manage it like that.
I married this once caring man and I have 2 kids for him. When i started dating him, he had only a mattress, a praying mat and two travelling bags (he said his property got burnt in a house fire where he lived before). I encouraged him to move on, assisted him where I could and I was earning 40k. He's into those marketing stuff where you have to bring referrals and he's good at it.
He's very short tempered, can't manage money at all, a chronic liar, pretender, very insecure and abusive.
My mum wouldn't believe me when i tell her the kind of person he is until after I had my second baby that she came to start living with us. (He can't afford a nanny) and I work 8-5. He would disrespect my mum, beat me in her presence. My mum got fed up, his family believed my mum and I were enjoying their Son's money meanwhile he has never giving my mum a dime instead he borrows from her and my sis.
While praying to get another job he would tell me that God will never answer my prayers because I don't respect him. That his family doesn't like me and i don't deserve him, he said all manners of things. He would want to control me (e.g, when we are walking together on the street, he would say, I shouldnt be looking up, I shouldn't greet neighbours, if any man passes, I mustn't look up else..)
I married this once caring man and I have 2 kids for him. When i started dating him, he had only a mattress, a praying mat and two travelling bags (he said his property got burnt in a house fire where he lived before). I encouraged him to move on, assisted him where I could and I was earning 40k. He's into those marketing stuff where you have to bring referrals and he's good at it.
He's very short tempered, can't manage money at all, a chronic liar, pretender, very insecure and abusive.
My mum wouldn't believe me when i tell her the kind of person he is until after I had my second baby that she came to start living with us. (He can't afford a nanny) and I work 8-5. He would disrespect my mum, beat me in her presence. My mum got fed up, his family believed my mum and I were enjoying their Son's money meanwhile he has never giving my mum a dime instead he borrows from her and my sis.
While praying to get another job he would tell me that God will never answer my prayers because I don't respect him. That his family doesn't like me and i don't deserve him, he said all manners of things. He would want to control me (e.g, when we are walking together on the street, he would say, I shouldnt be looking up, I shouldn't greet neighbours, if any man passes, I mustn't look up else..)
I am very good looking by the way lol.
He can call me up to 10 times when i am at work to say nothing meaningful and if I dare miss any of his calls, then it means am with a man, next thing is beating when I get home, it got to some point that I get scared to go home when I close from work. I HAVE NEVER EVER CHEATED ON THIS MAN while in his house.
Then he started keeping late nights, wouldn't buy food at home instead he ll eat outside. I have to provide food for my kids. I refused him s#x except with condoms since he started keeping late nights. He got angry beat me and asked me to move out of his house. Left with swollen eyes, lied to them at work that I had an accident at home.
Guess what!
Then he started keeping late nights, wouldn't buy food at home instead he ll eat outside. I have to provide food for my kids. I refused him s#x except with condoms since he started keeping late nights. He got angry beat me and asked me to move out of his house. Left with swollen eyes, lied to them at work that I had an accident at home.
Guess what!
I got the job after i left him. He doesn't know about it. He asked me to start being the father and mother of my kids the day he drove us out. I enrolled my kids in school and I thank God that I can comfortable take care of them.he doesn't ask after the kids anymore. Even during this pandemic, he has never called to check on the kids except for his mother that called once.
The other day, I asked to get my remaining stuffs in his house, he was instead making mockery of me. He said he knows i am hungry and crying lol. He doesn't know that levels have changed. I intend to start telling everyone that ask me about the relationship the truth as I have always lied to people that he got transferred and that we are still together. What do you think?
Note: I started to insult him back at some point o! I know its bad but i am human and not a saint.
The other day, I asked to get my remaining stuffs in his house, he was instead making mockery of me. He said he knows i am hungry and crying lol. He doesn't know that levels have changed. I intend to start telling everyone that ask me about the relationship the truth as I have always lied to people that he got transferred and that we are still together. What do you think?
Note: I started to insult him back at some point o! I know its bad but i am human and not a saint.
*Tell everyone the truth and also make sure that it gets to his ears that levels have changed.....you will see him trying to run back to you and even blackmailing you to return his kids....
That insulting back is not necessary. Let time roll and he will come to his senses like the prodigal son.
ReplyDeleteI lived with a domestic violent man for years. One-day I packed my things and that if my children and took a walk. He told everyone that things will get difficult and training the children will be a big deal and I will come and beg. Funny enough fate smiled at me immediately I left. My children who were in a 23k school in his house were enrolled to a 100k school. I paid it with ease. 8yrs down the line I haven't gone to beg as expected. Never heard from him or his family. My last was in KG2 when I left. Today he is in JS1. Uncle suddenly wants to be in their life. Even claiming partenity up and down for children you blanked for 8yrs. Me I de gidigbam de wait for any idiot that will come to speak foreign language in my children's ears. Poster, please believe in yourself and see God raise you beyond your imagination. I am a testimony.
DeleteI’m sorry you had to go through all this but all the signs where there at the beginning.
DeleteFinancial compatible is a thing . Why do women want to nurture so bad incapable men. There are a lot of insecure out there These days and your husband happens to be one of them. He is also very manipulative.
You should move on from this man . If he comes begging forgive him & move on. He will never change, So forget whatever empty promises he utters.
They see the signs but wanna bear MRS by force. Poor broke guys always want to get married quick without money looking for person daughter to kill.
DeletePoster move on please. For your sanity and kids sake
I know and i regret it.
DeleteInitially, i used to ignore His insults but the provocation is too much.
Thank you all fór Your advices. Please note that My first child fór him was already more Than 2years old and he refused to enroll her in school. He would ask me to go and enquire about the schools around and Will later say hes Ñot ready.
DeleteAs you have moved on, pls move on in peace, God will surely help you.
DeleteWhat an irresponsible and senseless man!
ReplyDeleteThank God you have moved out and don’t ever look back.
All the times he beat you in your mums presence, what did your mum do? I hope she broke his head.
You are a 💯 better off without him.
Has he always been like this?
If people asks you about him, tell them he’s fine and that he’s traveled or stick with the transfer gist. You don’t owe anyone any explanations.
Someday, he’ll get back to his senses.
Please dont bother about the information getting to him before he does something to harm you or decide to come for the kids just to punish you.
DeleteRemember that people will always talk or believe what they want to so dont bother explaining.
Make sure you save every payment you are making in your kids name down to the clothes on their backs so that when he eventually takes it to court, you will get custody of your kids.
Invest in yourself and look good too, i will not advise you to go back to such a man who will never appreciate your worth.
Start making plans for proper separation.
@slutty chic, its My fault, i actually saw the signs at the begining but went ahead. My mum always tries to settle but he would say My mum is taking My side.
DeleteIt got to a point that he stopped greeting my mum.
@pushup, thanks Sis. I Will never go back to him.i am the one taking full charge of My Kid's welfare, i Have the school fees receipts. Trust me Babe, i take very good Care of myself. People hardly believe that i Have given birth to one talkmore of two kids. I wanted to send Stella My pics sef lol
DeleteIf you love yourself, don't tell him levels has changed. He will blackmail you with the kids and you wouldn't want to keep your kids away from you. You owe those children of yours a beautiful life .pls don't mess it up by advertising your success to him and his family. He will seek for a reconciliation and if it doesn't work, he will frustrate you .
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you. Poster please read Opeoluwa wrote here,don't flaunt your new level where he is, he will become jealous and call for fake reconciliation for you to come back and continue funding his bills. Ko wù lọ.
DeleteI swear! There's really no point letting him know, let him keep thing the opposite of her.
DeleteExactly. Blessings don't announce itself. It will be seen visible by all.
DeleteDon't tell him anything.
I support you
DeletePoster, please listen to Opeoluwa Beyonce. Your husband is a terrible narcissist and will stop at nothing to crush you. Don't tell him about your success. Let him move on to his new prey before he hears about your achievement.
DeleteThanks Sis @Beyonce, i dont intend to show off at all.
Delete@Lisa, thank you plenty Sis..i noticed he likes flirting with older rich women...gigolo kinda stuff
DeleteDear Poster thank God for the strength to move on. Please continue to keep yourself and children safe from any harm. And keep shinning, also, ignore him totally, and see how he will diminish. God's grace
ReplyDeleteLet's hear from the man too.
ReplyDeleteUntil then, I can't believe you.
Ori e o pe rara
Delete@anonymous we all have rights to our opinion. Agbo ti enikan dajo,agba oshika
Delete@Don, i understand. I admit that i Have My Own faults. Am Ñot a Saint at all but even My mum said shé Will never support me going back to him with all shé has Seen with her eyes. Hes mum has been begging me and My mum that i should return back to His son. Shé even said shé was going to travel down to My City this Easter to reconcile if Ñot fór Corona Virus. But fór me, i am DONE with him
DeleteOne blow from his son can send you to a land of no return if you go back.
DeleteCan you also tell us in what ways you disrespected this man or was everything he said lies?
ReplyDeleteWhen men are broke they always feel disrespected,no matter how the woman tries their failure overwhelmed their reasoning and they tend to pick offense at every little opportunity even without provocation from the wife.
DeleteYou nailed it....
DeleteBroke men are terrible to deal with...
@Betty
DeleteAnd broke women?
I am a woman, but I think that nagging women are most terrible.
That is why the God warns that living in the desert or rooftop is better
that with a nagging woman in the same house.
Anon 17:22 nothing like broke woman anywhere. Men where made to provide and women made to procreate
Delete@20:02
DeleteYou live in jupitar right?
That is why a lot of girls here aren't ready for marriage at all.
Keep procreating and do not be a helper to your husband which God
created us to be.
Procreator because you impregnate yourself?
DeleteAnnonymous 21:15. I really dont know how. He says i dont respect His family, even His Mother said how can he say so when i dont live with His family.He said i should be calling His siblings at least weekly to greet Then but i am the lazy type when it comes to calling. He poisioned His siblings mind towards me (The siblings depends ón him fór financial gains).i used to report him to his siblings when the beatings was becoming too frequently but he would tell them to mind me, that they shouldnt even response to me that by that they will be respecting that i dont deserve their respect.Even when i Lost My dad, ñoñe of the siblings called to condole me. The eldest brother came fór the burial because hes friends with one of My step sisters (i wont lie, i didn't greet him o!) because to me, he didn't show UP because of me.
Delete@15:34, you are so right. He was always provoked. Do you know, one Day he almost slapped when we were staying in a self contain room because i farted in the room. He said what if the neighbours hear me fart. Time was past 9pm
DeleteMsctheeeeeew
ReplyDeleteI know you will still go back to him when he and his family come begging, that is why you are covering him up.
So he was beating you and treating you like trash and you went ahead to have the first child and second child and even ready to have more until he started keeping late nights. So you wanted to die there until he beat you up and sent you packing. You are covering your marriage breakup so they will still call you Mrs, the same reason you stayed that long and will still go back tomorrow.
I forgot to ask, what is the reason for sending in his Chronicle by the way? Your hands were itching to type something long?
It's insults like these that make victims of abuse reluctant to open up because either way, people like you will always blame them! Shior!!!
Delete@15:11. I Will never go back to him. Am covering UP fór him because of Office gossips. Am Ñot ready fór rubbish talk with them Yet. People Have started suspecting that we are no longer together because i changed bus stop. Without telling anyone anything, some jobless People Have started carrying rumour that he Sent me away because i cheated ón him lol. I Have never ever cheated ón him while in His house. Infact he Sent My male Friends away as soon as we got married. He banned me from receiving calls either from male female after office hours except My close family members.
DeleteI am glad you picked up the pieces. There is no need making people think you are still together. You do not have to go into details of what went down. As for the ex he is someone thinking u are crying your eyes out. Let him continue. Be cordial for the sake of the kids but No need to tell him levels has changed. He should carry his wahala and go.
ReplyDelete@Bini, thank you. He blocked me ón Whatsapp when i asked fór My fridge and remaining clothes with him. He insulted me but i insulted him back (My bad). We havent spoken since Then. He doesnt Care whether the kids eats ór Ñot. I am their father and Mother .
DeleteI am happy you are comfortable enough and I am happy you can "LOL" in this chronicle poster..it's shows God didn't leave you and your kids to shame or suffer. Leave him to God! You will be vindicated till the end
ReplyDeleteStay Happy!
Hmm ladies most time we fail to read the signs. This man you described right here carries the personality of a guy that I dump! Thank God I have moved on from him.
DeleteImagine him chatted me last week Sunday asking for his rings which I dnt have a problem returning. Imagine him asking me to return two wrappers his mother gifted me??? Then and there I was mad.
He started with all manner of insult that he knows that am hungry and I can have his ring and the wrapper. I know the mother never asked him to tell me to return it. He seem to have a great family and a loving mother but I bet his family does not know he has an attitude. The way he is quick to insult! Shout! Clapping hands I feel ashamed to have dated him. I wish I have told him off the first day but I said well let's me give love a chance. But praaaaaaaise God! Children of God! Stella blog have thought me alot. Especially this chronicles. Mrs poster please move on. Be free and dnt ever think of going back to that mad man. He will keep lying and lying to you till you lost your sanity. Thank God I dodge a bullet. Some guys are mentally sick.
It is well
DeleteTade, thanks Sis. I dey lol Wella o! Lol. I Have never fully depended ón financially, i make sure i work and get something fór myself. Infact, while still living with him, as things were Ñot that okay fór him, i asked him at some point Ñot to bother about buying things fór me, that i Will manage from the little i earn but he should Just try and buy food in the house and do what he can fór the kids, that's after he started complaining that he doesnt Have enough to send to His family. He stopped giving me money fór My personal upkeep Yet....i leave everything to God.
DeleteDon't let it get to his ears. His type can go diabolic on you.
ReplyDeleteAs for your old stuff,what do you need them for? You have a well paying job now,those things can be replaced. Peace!
So because she has a job she should waste money on things she already has because they are with her husband?
DeleteThen if he kills her in the process , the same you will ask her why she went there @16.47
DeleteShe would definitely go with someone! Who goes alone to pick up stuff from a violent ex
Delete@Shantelle'empire. I Have decides to Let go of everything. I had wanted to take My fridge. Went with My Sis. To get it but we were stopped at the gate because he was Yet to pay His rent. Have gotten another one. I leave him to God.
DeleteThis marriage has completely broken down because neither of both parties want to salvage the situation.
ReplyDeletePlease bring up your children to be better adults. Not taking after you nor your husband because sincerely, to me, both of you are fire brands. Fire for fire!
Congratulations. You got your freedom. Move on. Let your ex be too.
Stop building with these men. Not all are loyal/deserve it so save yourself the guess work. That's all I have to say
ReplyDeleteDon't ever go back to him. He won't change. Don't let him know levels have changed either. Save enough and be fine. Tell people the truth
ReplyDeleteSome men eehh,Tufiakwa!
ReplyDeleteNne oo, I'm so happy for you, see'.... You didn't have to stay and take all his bullshit because you're jobless, poor and don't know where to start from,Ladies we should always be strong enough to hold our own, no matter how little, just have something doing. Biko tell everyone both the ones that asked you and the ones that didn't ask you! They should know the stupid fool for whom he really is,who knows, he might even be telling all manner of dirty lies against you just to tarnish your image and make people hate and think less of you.
Dear Nigerian women/Mothers, please please and please,you people should stop raising stupid, wicked, useless, annoying,lazy, entitled and good for nothing men bikonu, the amount of energy and time used in imbibing virtue and morals into the female children should also be used for the males too, enough of all this please, start raising sound children that won't drive their spouses and neighbors crazy because of their disgusting personalities bikonu.
Well said @CHISOM
DeleteChisom, Chukwu gozie ghi mehn
DeleteToo many insecure problems waiting to happen walking on two legs and having disease riddled male organs
DeleteMy sister no be lie you talk oo. The kind of men we have these days eeh . They have turned the wives to psychologists for badly raised men. Mothers you all need more work to do. Is affecting the female child in a long run. Because your trained daughters end up wasting their lives with these useless men. MOTHERS DO MORE! TRAIN THE MALE CHILD TOO. STOP THAT RUBBISH TALK THAT IS THE MENS WORLD.
DeleteThank you.
Very true!!! Many mothers just give birth to sons, do dedication to pepper unseen enemies and that's it!!! No training nor upbringing for these males. They are left to grow up by themselves, left uncorrected and when well meaning folks chip in Abit of correction, you will hear, leave him o! He is my only son! Yen yen!!!! Mothers, pls train your sons as you would your daughters!
DeleteSome men are just useless i swear!!!Please take care of your children,its always good to have the number of children a woman can train alone incase anything goes wrong.
ReplyDeleteSandra is right. Only way to make a man regret is to move up and on with your life. the additional nail in the coffin is if you marry a man more successful than him! Someone that can provide more financially for you and your kids and shower you with all the love. He will be pained trust me and like SDK said he may wanna come back. Pride might not let him go but at least you end up winning no matter what
ReplyDeleteThis is my story, I married a younger and richer man (I didn’t marry him that rich though, he blew after our marriage but he wasn’t broke either), walking away from my ex hubby is one of the best decisions I have ever taken, who would have thought I would have the incredible life I have now but God did it.
DeleteCongratulations @17.47. You deserve better
DeleteHeyyah lucky you anonymous 17:47 when I am here, still begging God for husband at 35.I don't even know if I will be privileged to have before I depart from this world.
DeletePlease clean your mouth!! Don't you ever say that again. You are still young. You ll get married to your prince charming, have kids, grow old, have grandkids.....
DeleteYour priority in this life that you came to live firstly is to be "HAPPY" yes darling, happiness should be your goal.
DeleteWether you lived and died single doesn't matter one bit, the big question is where you happy?did you make God proud? Marriage is cool and a wonderful thing, but it should never stand between our happiness and freedom! Create your own personal comfort and happy zone by yourself, love you enough to know that you don't really need to be married to live a fulfiled and happy life.
Sebi you've been reading chronicles and some other posts about how low some people are treated in their marriages? Don't be desperate o! Before you fall into the hands of a Satan in disguise of a husband.
Stay at peace with yourself, Eat good food, pamper your self, love and respect God, do right, stay Graceful and super kind to people, be certisfied with yourself my darling! Eventually, your God ordained husband would come meet you if God willing, I'm sure he can't wait to find you.
Stop with that awful statement of not knowing if you'd marry before you die, stop it biko!
Good news don't hide, he will hear and shame will catch him.
ReplyDeleteHe is a bigger idiot. God gave you this new job to shut him up for ever.
Close your legs forever to him and don't go back to him forever.
God is still going to add more smiles to you.
Where will you run to? Where will you run to? Where will you to? Look, it's round the corner, sit up now. This is the final warning! Nehemiah 9:12. 12 You led the people during the day with a cloud, and with a pillar of fire during the night to light the way they were to go.Psalm 101:6(My eyes shall [look with favor] upon the faithful of the land, that they may dwell with me; he who walks blamelessly, he shall minister to me).
ReplyDeleteEzekiel 7:8-12NLT(Soon I will pour out my fury on you and unleash my anger against you.I will call you to account for all your detestable sins.
9 I will turn my eyes away and show no pity. I will repay you for all your detestable sins. Then you will know that it is I, the Lord, who is striking the blow.
10 “The day of judgment is here; your destruction awaits! The people’s wickedness and pride have blossomed to full flower. 11 Their violence has grown into a rod that will beat them for their wickedness. None of these proud and wicked people will survive.All their wealth and prestige will be swept away.
12 Yes, the time has come; the day is here!
Buyers should not rejoice over bargains, nor sellers grieve over losses, for all of them will fall
under my terrible anger.
13 Even if the merchants survive,they will never return to their business For what God has said applies to everyone— it will not be changed!
Not one person whose life is twisted by sin will ever recover. Isaiah 5:9(But I have heard the Lord of Heaven’s Armies swear a solemn oath:“Many houses will stand deserted; even beautiful mansions will be empty),
Please do not tell him. He will obviously still find out by himself.
ReplyDeleteTelling him yourself may put you up for blackmail and other stuff you may not be able to condone.
Just start the process for your divorce. I don't think it's a good idea to let him know how well you're doing, keep yourself to yourself. You do not need validation from anybody, least of all him. Take care now and open yourself to healthy friendships. Oh and yes let people know y'all are no longer together so you can move on.
ReplyDeleteBless God for your life. Cover your success sweet woman. You are a no nonsense. He will definitely still hear but you don’t need him since I think you too are hot headed.
ReplyDeleteNa wa o. The things some married women go through.
ReplyDeleteMay God help you as you play the role of a father and mother in the lives of your children for now as I also pray that God touches the heart of your husband and make him a responsible father to his children and love you too.
Are there women that are enjoying their marriages? Are there still sweet marriages? Are there women that can sincerely say they are 100% happy in their matrimonial homes?
If you know that you a have sweet and perfect marriage, come tell others how you do it, whether you are a man or woman, just give tips on how you make your own marriage work because it just might help others.
To have a happy marriage, both parties must be willing to work on the marriage. That is what is working for me. I can't possibly do it alone if I have an unwilling partner. I see he is doing his best to make it work. I am also putting in my best. That is the secret. How long can a woman or man continue to strive to make it work if the other spouse is not committing to the union? Can two work unless they agree?
DeleteExactly anon. I'm 100%happy, but I noticed recently that people dont love hearing sweet stories, so I keep my happiness to my self.
DeleteMany people are happy but not sharing. Once you share. You hear things like,
It's only a matter of time
Yimu
Keep living in a bubble
Etc.
The secret?
Both parties constantly striving to be better.
Key word is BOTH.
Of cos, this goes along with decent communication.
Not a lord and master talking to his servant type of communication
Exactly anon. I'm 100%happy, but I noticed recently that people dont love hearing sweet stories, so I keep my happiness to my self.
DeleteMany people are happy but not sharing. Once you share. You hear things like,
It's only a matter of time
Yimu
Keep living in a bubble
Etc.
The secret?
Both parties constantly striving to be better.
Key word is BOTH.
Of cos, this goes along with decent communication.
Not a lord and master talking to his servant type of communication
Pls don’t tell him your levels have changed oh, this kind of men are psychotic and their is no limit they can’t go. You can’t risk him costing you ur job Biko. You should tell people the truth don’t use pretense to block your destiny helpers, the right man for you is still out there.
ReplyDeleteBoth thumbs up!!
DeleteNever tell him your present condition!
ReplyDeletePoster hide your new level very well abeg post 🙏🙏🙏, if you ever rub it in his face that your level has changed, he will do everything possible to frustrate you and may even steal the children to punish you.
ReplyDeleteAbeg ooo hide your testimony if you don't want to cry.
The less he knows, the better for you.
Girl, stay on your lane. He mustn't know anything about you. You also don't owe anyone any gist depending on order of importance. Your family should know you left other than that, close friends and the till you want to start seeing other people. It also would depend on the kind of marriage you guys had. If there's need for a formal divorce then work towards it. For now, concentrate on your work and children. Who beats their spouses in front of their parents? Smh.
ReplyDeletePlease let your success remain unknown to him for now. Such men will fight tooth and nail to come back to you once they notice that things are better for you. And if things don't go the way they plan,all hell will be let loose.
ReplyDeleteFor now all you need to do is to protect yourself and your kids from him.
Gbam!
DeleteBabe you never mentioned he wedded you, my dear friend if this man married you please I will advice you to spend quality time to ask yourself why you married him. Marriage is meaningless in our society now. Define yourself and your values. If your values are in tight, please go back to your husband and bear enough kids as you wish from one man. Then turn to tiger and train your kids. I was so down one day I asked God, why did you let me pass through this pain of unfaithful partner, he told me just for you to feel the pain I pass through when you are unfaithful to me. So my dear friend marriage is illustration of love of God. If you want to last use your stupid sense to understand it this be happy and be good. At old age every body will see for themselves.
ReplyDeleteWhich stupid advice is this one Dan Allah? Go back to a man who beat and cheat on her like no man business because she want to understand why God let her pass through that horrible situation?
DeleteSo God is now one wicked deity that teaches people a lesson that can cost them their lives yea? What good will she be to God dead? Look God does not uses the tool of the devil in teaching his children some lesson. Stop giving out stupid advice please.
Madam poster I repeat never ever tell that nasty,insecure foolish man your levels have change. Leave him in the dark let him keep wondering how you got it right. Judging from this chronicle I don't trust you to not go back. He can just come sweep you with sweet talk and correct gbenshing that you suddenly forget all the pain he has caused you. For the sake of your children stay away from that fool.
I have seen a lot of women like you, at the end of the day we all might just be waisting our time giving you any advice sef.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
DeleteWait a minute.
Hehehehrhrhrhehehehehehehehehehehe.
Continue oo, dont teach him a few lessons inugo.
Men steady turning women to seers and assistant holyspirits
Did I read this right?? She should go back for more beatings and insults??? Just so se can have more kids he can tie her down with??? I cannot believe this. Poster ruuuuuuuun and train your two kids. Don't ever go near that man ooooooooo
DeleteSo she should go and die abi?
Delete"I was so down one day I asked God, why did you let me pass through this pain of unfaithful partner, he told me just for you to feel the pain I pass through when you are unfaithful to me."
DeleteThis is painful to read honestly, God is not vindictive neither is he an accuser of brethen; that's the job of the devil. I pray you get over this your deep rooted pain that has caused you to hate yourself. Your partner's infidelity is not your fault don't bear a cross that is not yours. Shalom
Haha she already have two kids so why are you asking her to go back to am abusive man because you think marriage is illustration of love😏😏😏😏😏.
DeletePoster never you go back to that wicked man. Even if no man comes your way you have two beautiful kids that you can take care of. What I you even need a lazy, abusive and heartless man for.
My dear poster, please completely ignore this advice, if God spoke to her personally,it mustn't apply to everyone.
DeleteYou made a mistake to be with him, you see an insecure person can never be satisfied with any level of restraint you show, they see tagging and monitoring their partners as being "woke"
You will either find yourself quarrelling all the time or start being timid so as not to arouse their anger and suspicion. Those relationships are not worth it.
Thank God you packed yourself and children away from that destiny destroyer. Thank God you are financially stable. Get your family to support you while you file for divorce officially and change location if possible. All the best.
Grand side chick you must be high on cheap drugs. Imagine the stupid advice. Someone that beat her and drove her out?? So till she die. Poster close your ears to this advice becos am sure she is yet to take her prescribed medicine this evening. Chai see advise 😂😂😂😂😂😂🙄
DeleteMy dear, I don't know what God you heard from lol. My God too get level and does not operate in this manner. Poster don't listen to this advice.
DeleteBuahahahahahahaha, I'm sure it wasn't God who encouraged to go back and suffer some more.
DeleteBe careful of the voices in your head. Many of them are village voices.
Grand side chic, this your advice is 0/10. E no follow at all. Jesus already died for our sins so why would he let the devil of a man expose you to HIV and other conditions? As a Christian, you have a heart of flesh, not of stone so you don't need a draining sham of a marriage to know that God loves you and feels pain when you don't do his will. You heard from the devil and those parts of the brain that log low self esteem. Please stop subjecting yourself to situations and relationships that are not the will of God for you.
DeleteNo need telling him, he will definitely hear about your success.
ReplyDeleteIf he allows you to take your stuff, do that without getting into a fight, beg him for transport if possible so he will keep thinking you are broke.
If you want to divorce him go ahead and do that, you don't have to explain anything to anyone.
Oil dey your head Adanne. Me I will even say to leave whatever it is and buy better stuff. No need to have any contact whatsoever.
DeleteYou will Fall back to him if you aren't careful. After all, you went ahead to have a second child for him. I will advise that you stay away from him. This is someone that you fell in love with. Be careful o
ReplyDeleteGod bless you. Let him who has ears listen wisely!
DeleteIf you are not careful he will drag you back into the gutter. Don't say anything!! I am talking from experience. Keep quiet and rebuild to a level that no one can argue with. Let your success announce itself. My ex left with my money and even tried to sell my house while I was recovering from the birth of our dead child in hospital. I gathered my strength, left a job where I was being bullied and God gave me a breakthrough. Unknown to me my ex was monitoring my progress through Linkedin. He also quickly went to do the same Masters as me but kolewerk as he is lazy, entitled and fought with all the lecturers. He went into oil business, nothing. Went into property development, nothing. To cut a long story short 5 wives later and oga is still in the gutter. My point is no need to boast. Let God fight for you but you need to keep your mouth shut and close your ears. You have nothing to prove for anybody.
ReplyDeleteMove in silence sis we know his type e fit waka for you so tell him nothing let people be telling him and let him refuse to believe while you keep going higher my sis.
ReplyDeleteI wish I can type my story but one day I will send it in as a chronicle but I will wait till God has finished with His work because He is taking me higher and higher always.
Poster I am happy you are doing well and your level has changed. The best thing is if anyone ask you about him just let them know you both are no longer together should incase important helpers want to assist you.
ReplyDeleteStop hiding things for him, he doesn't deserve all the food things you are doing for him. Keep your new job to yourself till you have settled well.
God will give you the grace to take care of your children.
If levels have truly changed, why not ignore him out rightly and move on with your life and the life of your kids. These calling out and yansh opening,nothing good ever comes out of it. Live your own life meet someone else and do things at your own time.
ReplyDeleteAs I read through your narrative, I was asking myself why you married this man in the first place? Just out of curiosity, though. Sweetie, you owe nobody, unless family, any explanation. Everything is still fresh, trust me, it might surprise you how things turn out. I wouldn't want you to go back, but we ladies are notorious for being full of mindblowing surprises. Just keep everything hush hush till you decide to make it official and final.
ReplyDeleteDarling, I know it feels good rubbing in your success on the face of a man who feels you are nothing without him but sometimes success is loudest when the successful person is quiet. People will be the ones to announce you, you need not bother proving a point to him.
He might be the prince of darkness and the scum of the earth, but guess what? He is the father of your children and he will ALWAYS be part of their lives. You think you are strong now? Wait till your kids start crying for their dad. That's when the real challenge starts. It's not easy to read your narrative and not have intense dislike for him, we are reacting based on your side of the story. No matter how well we mean, we're not in it with you. We will give our opinions and move on with our lives. You're the one who is going to live your life, so never make any decisions until enough time has passed and you have inner peace with your decision. For now, please take care of your angels and live your best life the best way you can.
e-hugs and kisses.
Poster
DeleteYou see this advice from Ronalda
The advice up there
Ignore it
You see I like Ronalda's advice most times but ignore this one up.
Even the greatest human adviser gets it wrong sometimes
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Buahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
DeleteYou see all that Ronald a just said eeh.... Don't take all of it. Take some and leave some. Very true u can't always keep the children away from the father, but my dear sing it loud for the world to know the situation like Stella said but NEVER YOU TELL HIM OF YOUR SUCCESS... It will tell it self when the time is right. You don't know the kind of plans he will cook up for u once he's aware that you are well to do now, he will make life miserable for u. Let him keep believing you will come back to beg for food. Information is power you should know. Don't let him know what's up with u... That way you are always ahead of him.
DeleteA piece from me.
African marriages are all about suffering
ReplyDeleteWomen empower yourselves,boss up and take charge of your life. Don't wait for your husband to do everything for you.Dear poster,you don't need to make him know that things have changed. If your yam is cooking and you're ready to eat,use hand cover am chop,it's a Yoruba proverb. Allow God to perfect everything that concerns you. I know by his grace,you'll send house warming invitation to loved ones 😘
ReplyDeletehow do women stay in abusive marriages?
ReplyDeletehow ?!
like a man beats you all the time and you have sex with them to the point of getting pregnant?!
don't you love yourselves that much ?
I don't get it, really don't.
and yo poster you had no business marrying this man but it seems you love to answer to the title Mrs that's why you would definitely go back!
see how you're eager to show off?
you are not even wise !
enjoy
My dear if you can leave relationships for now, please do. Because you are in a vulnerable state and might just be looking for a rebound or someone to fill the void. Keep quiet about your finances and build before he jeopardizes your work. Just focus on training your children and building your life. No need to insult back. The best revenge is success
ReplyDeleteMANY WILL TELL YOU TO LEAVE YOUR MARRIAGE AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY, SISTER BIBLE RECORDED THAT CRITERIA TO LEAVE YOUR MARRIAGE IS WHEN HE CHEATS YES YOUR HUSBAND CHEATS. MY DEAR DO YOU KNOW CHILDREN BORN BY SAME PARENT HAS MILD RIVALRY LET ALONE THE ONE THAT HAS DIFFERENT PARENTS..LET US TAKE IT SLOW ON A EXPECTATIONS FROM ORDINARILY MAN WHO IS WEAK AND MORTAL LIKE US. WE WOMEN PUT MUCH EXPECTATION IN MARRIAGE MANY PUSH MEN TO BECOME ALMIGHTY God In their life. Build yourself for yourself and your kids. Endure have your kids from one source of sperm. But if the man is always beating you my sister check what you are doing that causes the beating though any man that raised his hand on woman don't stop beating. But in my village in Anambra when a stranger want to marry our women, on the traditional wedding day, we will make announcements that let every body warn the groom not to beat the bride because if he tries it fire will fall. Many men who tried doing against this order received mass beating from bride family. Yes we call it akwa nwa Ada, all the young men will enter bus to the grooms village, then beat the hell out the demon disturbing the husband. Even I met one man he told me that igwe of his village made announcement that no man should marry from my village that people from my village always shatter bus to come and beat our sisters husband. I didn't deny it, I told him yes we are good at that. I hate men that express anger through beating.
ReplyDelete