Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Na wah!!!

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

A CHRONICLE TO LEARN FROM



We all live to learn and someone might be able to learn a thing or two from this. So, below is the comment I was going to post:



Men, brother wahala ehn! 

At a time when my life and health was in jeopardy, my elder brother didn't offer to help. This didn't bother me because I am one of those people that just accepts that lives by the principle that no one can help if God hadn't placed it in their hands to do so. Besides, I don't make assumptions about people's financial situation. 

The fact that someone appears to be doing good does not mean the person is financially buoyant at the very moment you want/need help from them – life is happening to us all at the same time. I also try not to let it bothered me if someone has other priorities.



What did bother me was when he told our half-sister, who offered to help, not to do so – telling her I might be trying to scam her (she lived in a different country). Not only was this not true, it was very troubling as I had no history of financial impropriety - unlike him – I can easily recall a few instances of less than appropriate behaviour on his right into young adulthood – all of which are put off as youthful exuberance. 

I was “the” good boy, though rather naive. His action is even more troubling considering the fact that he is one of a few people that knew the detail of my health situation. At a time, we even kept it from our mother so she won't get worried. He even was the one that informed the half-sister in question, who had then reached out and offered to help (even vexing with me that I didn’t tell her myself). Our half-sister withdrew her offer of support at that time. I just accepted that it only means help was never supposed to come from her in the first place – didn’t affected my relationship with her.


That was more than 5 years ago. I have had two major surgeries since then, one of which being seriously life threatening (that one was more than 10 hours of surgery o). I am alive and well today and slowly getting my life back together and very grateful to God. The whole event has also led to many other testimonies (stories for another day).


In the year following his inappropriate behaviour/betrayal, I tried to make peace with him in spite of the fact that he was the offending party - following the counsel of Romans 12:17-18 (Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Carefully consider what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible on your part, live at peace with everyone). 

I asked family members to speak with him (I was still hurt and couldn’t trust myself to do it right). He told my “emissaries” that he is the older one and I should come beg his forgiveness (probably because I gave him a nasty look and cold greeting the first time we saw since his action). I also asked my “emissaries” to at least help me get an explanation for his behaviour because till today, it still baffles me. 

I had hoped having an explanation that made sense from him will help me reconcile the shock and pain but he refuses to acknowledge he did anything wrong. So, on my part, I did the internal work over time between myself and God to forgive him. When I eventually felt I could, I sent him a message that I have forgiven him – I needed my peace men!


Trouble is, I can't feel safe with him. I don't feel safe with him and I am not sure if I ever will. We kind of talk on phone now and then – but it cannot be the same men!!! 

It just saddens me sometimes when I think about it because I loved this man, I looked up to him and because my family means everything to me. You see, we have been through some tumultuous life situations together growing up and been kept on the fringes by extended family members because of sibling wahala between parents, aunties and uncles and some other issues. So, to me, I wanted our family units to be integrated, loving and warm. My brother’s action fragmented that to a significant degree, and that is still disappointing and painful sometimes.

*Sad but this your own is child's play compared to what some people have seen...Good that you forgave him......The sister that didn't help,what was her reaction after you had two surgeries?