Would you let your relative live with you in your matrimonial home? If you are married and already living with a relative, what's your experience with them?
would you recommend or discourage?Pls share..
Sunday, March 01, 2020
Sunday In House Gists -Living With Relatives After Marriage..
What's your view on living with relatives after marriage?
85 comments:
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Don't try it!!! I repeat DO NOT TRY IT!!!
ReplyDeleteMy immediate elder sister allowed my elder Bros daughter to come stay with her...this my brother is 32years old with already 5kids and no means of livelihood hence my sister said he brings his first daughter who is 8years old to stay with her in other to lessen d burden from him...this lil girl arrived January 10th this year and just 1 week after my sister's shop was almost empty..anytime my sister sells something,before u know the money ll vanish..she takes things from the shop like drinks and biscuits,eats them and hides the packet and container in the shop.
DeleteThen one day,I was in the shop with her,I sold something worth #100 went out to ease myself and came back without seeing the money,I kept quiet...later on I sold #300 and another 100 naira went missing,then I refused to keep quiet and confronted her,she said she used the money to buy sweet and chewing gum..when we were about closing,she went to the money container to bring the padlock to lock the shop,not knowing she had emptied d container yet again leaving 10naira behind and I didn't know.so when I got home I told my sister,I sold 7h oh,and I didn't come with the mo ey it's in the shop...my sister went to d shop in the morning,called me some mins after asking where I kept the money,I told her it's inside the container,my sister said she could only find 10 10 naira inside..I was like haaa!mogbe..when she came back from school,we asked her,she denied it oh,infact she started one fake cry last last she agreed she took the money...okay we told her when we get home bring out the money cos she said she kept it in her box of clothes in the house
DeleteOnce they are already living with your spouse before you marry him nothing you can do. Just pray they are ppl that respect themselves. when someone respect themselves you know your place and boundries in a couples home.
DeleteTake it as they won't be there forever. Will still get married and move on.
My sister inlaw who I get on with lived with us for sometime. You have to put it in mind even ur own blood junior sister will annoy you to the limit sometimes but you still love her. If you love someone dat loves his family find it in ur heart to love them; this is where watching the family you marry into plays.
They won't be there forever. Way I see life...your own kids can school in another state too and may have to live with relatives at a point.
Anyway my sister inlaw is married now; so you see it's not forever.
Mother inlaw living I don't really like except visits. But my aunt's mother inlaw lived with them and she loved it. The woman greatly assisted with kids till she died.
We got home oh..oya bring the money,for where!she said she had forgotten where she kept it..the next day this girl took this money to school...she steals,wets the bed and the one that wants to make me run mad now is that she is sexually abusing my sister's 4year old boy..how did we find out?we were outside,and the house was unusually quiet so my sister went to peep through the window and saw this girl ontop her son..chai!my sister showed her she that day...then just this week Saturday,she attends different school srom my sister's 2kids so anytime she closes,she goes to the children's school and they wait for pickup..so that Thursday,I went to my sister's house and she told me to help her with the kids when they close..I went to the school and saw the small one a girl(she is two)outside under the sun..I asked her where is A and B she told me they went this way(she pointed the way)I followed the route and it leads to their school toilet..this girl was doing this boy inside the toilet Jesus Christ!I was dumb founded!I couldn't say a word until we got home..I just told my sistertake this girl back..hungry won't kill them..they have been surviving and will still survive without instead allowing this girl to stay here and abuse ur kids..so when they close she takes him to the toilet and finish up before anyone comes to pick them..kai
DeleteMind u the dad is also staying with my sister,cos my sister's hubby got him a Keke to ride and be getting small small money,we have told him about the stealing part and he feighend ignorance..infact it became a big problem in the house cos he said his daughter doesn't steal meanwhile the girl said she steals and he used to beat her because of it..now we are scared of telling him about the sexual abuse part cos we don't know how he wud take it..my sister is too lenient,if it was me,she would have been gone since..now that her shop has packed up since last month cos she sells and doesn't see the money and things keep missing misteriously..so she had to close down..the girl said there's a guy who used to come to their house and abuse her and her two younger sisters so that's how she got addicted...
DeletePlease speak for yourself, mine and my husbands family have stayed with me and still staying, i enjoy every bit of their stay in my home, both male and female,two got married December 2019. I am from a big family(enough people) so living alone is somehow for me, likewise my husband, the one currently with me 'll be going for her NYSC this march and already missing them (twins).so its all about the people you keep in your home, not everyone is evil in my own opinion.
DeleteSo, in a nutshell that spoilt brat is still living with your sister? Take her back to where you guys picked her from already!!!
DeleteAnon, pls tell your sister to take that girl back as soon as possible. You can help her family in other ways. That little boy she is molesting needs counselling and therapy so he won't think it's normal and starts to practice same on his sister. Let the father now so he can help his daughters as well.Fight for yourselves first o pls
DeleteEbenebe. Reason I am still finding it difficult to get help. Even my lil girl gets at my last nerve. To invite bf over Na WAR sef.
DeleteI guess this is d major reason marriage freaks me out. Extreme introvert. I love my space 🙄
Please any one getting mareied now should not try it oh. Been married for 14yrs and right after marriage been having hubby's relatives staying with us. Talk of entitlement mentality they have A1. Trying to bring dispute between hubby and i also A1. The last one that came,said my house arrangements where not okay by her,so she rearranged my sitting rooms and daughter's room before i got home. I went ballistic on her,and gave her quite notice. What rubbish. Meanwhile my daughter called me and was complaining bitterly how the aunt has arranged her room,and when she told her she did not like it,she shut her up. Her twin just entered his room and locked his door till his dad got home.
DeleteAnon this thing you are playing with is no joke. A child is being abused severally and you are still allowing that girl in your home. Niece or not your sister needs to protect her son. I know what I am saying. A cousin started abusing me from the age of 4 years and I know how it affected me. I was introduced to sex without penetration though just to early and I regret it. I can never let my own kids stay even weekend with any family. Get that little girl out of your sisters home. She is going to destroy those little kids. Your sister can send her back and keep paying her school fees and upkeep in her house.
DeleteLet the father know*
DeleteNo relatives please, my peace is very important to me.
DeleteThe little girl is your blood also and need serious therapy. Your darling son too. Please do not send your little niece back to that toxic environment. please. please get her help.
DeleteOh dear!
DeletePls step in and get things done well. They are all your blood. I wonder how little kids learn such bad habits right from a tender age, imagine all the bad traits at under 10.
As far as I'm concerned NO relatives please. When you have a baby if your mum cannot come over then let you MIL and in-laws stay in their house. It might be stressful but as it's a phase it will pass away, in-law wahala is for life.
DeleteI have been through it and it's disgusting, you can't satisfy them so don't even bother starting what you can't finish.
Let them not like you from beginning, they will like you later 🤷🏾♀️.
Don't be rude to your in-laws, when you see: you all greet and laugh but NO to any in-law staying under your roof. Na everlasting wahala.
Some people find it easy though but i will advice any one just getting married not to do such please.
Peace of mind is the best.
GET THAT RAPEY THIEF AND HER DAD OUT OF YOUR LIVES THIS MINUTE. AN INNOCENT BOY IS IN DANGER AND HE MAY TRANSFER ALL HE'S BEEN TAUGHT TO HIS INNOCENT SISTER. It is not your sister's fault that this girls father is irresponsible, having FIVE kids at 32. IF your sister was like him, would he be able to send his daughter there?
DeleteYou can't help someone at the cost of your children's safety and your progress. If these children grow up to be thieves or sexuallly careless, the same brother who is pretending as if he didn't raise a thief would be no where to be found. They may even say she learned all her bad habits from your family. If anything happens to your sis, would this brother be able to contribute one naira or take care of her kids?
How are you sure your brother is not the one who introduced his daughter to sex that early? 5 kids at 32? Even at 72, five children is too much for anyone who is serious about giving children the best.
Send this Chucky out of the house with her father and send the little you can to them every month so as the elders say the meat that has fallen from the drying line does not cause problems for the other pieces still hanging. You guys are failing a 4 year old boy who did nothing to ruin his uncle's or cousin's life. You may have already started failing a little girl. May this your comment not degenerate to CHRONICLE.
Nigerians need to allow newly wedded couples breathe after marriage, these people are building a family and starting life afresh, if you decide to stay with them, allow them be for at least 3 years to get their balance and enjoy themselves before you move in with them.
ReplyDeleteSome of these couple stay in a 1 bedroom apartment and they have a grown up human being living with them and causing unnecessary stress to either the husband or the wife.
Most times SOME of these siblings are lazy and entitled, if you don't have family members won't you survive?
And if you must live with them for whatever reasons, know your place. You are a third party so do not go about causing rifts in that home, mind your business, respect boundaries, be helpful, do not pry or interfere in the marriage.
DeleteDo not start sharing details of what goes on in the marriage with other members of your family because you are privy to some information except it is absolutely necessary eg domestic violence, sickness etc.
I know someone who lives with two of her brothers in law. She's going through hell. These overgrown babies do not even wash the plates they use to eat not to talk of doing other house chores. My friend now looks like a shadow of herself. Imagine being heavily pregnant and pounding yam for 3 adults daily bcos "a Tiv man must eat pounded yam everyday!"
Delete@ Miss Aboki, what will happen if she reduces that pounding to say 2 or 3 times a week. Truth is she has strength to pound, let her continue.
DeleteAbroadian BV she's the type that will keep quiet and be boiling inside. And Tiv men will die if they dont eat poundy daily.
DeleteMiss Aboki, say say??? Pregnant and pounding daily? Jeeeezzz!!! God help that woman!
DeleteAbroadian...continue what？ Noooo
DeleteMiss Aboki...you can get mischievious for a while just to rescue your friend.
Talk with a good doctor within your neighborhood, let her pretend to have fainted when next she is pounding, make sure she is taken to that exact hospital. They will keep her to rest for hours or 24hours, do one or two virtual scans and issue a certificate for family stating that the baby is threatening to abort.
Clearly stating some tedious tasks she must cease from doing till she puts to birth, that will include no lifting of a bucket or bending to mop.
The Lord will understand the lie abeg.
Pound yam for who？ Dem dey craze！
'put to bed
DeleteTiv men are so entitled. Sorry and cross legs and the woman will be working like a help without a helper.
DeleteImagine the nonsense. So, I have 2 grown ass men with me at home and I will be stressing myself? Really? Pounding with pregnancy for that matter o. Holy ghost fire!
DeleteIf your friend is from Benue, tell her that its the mans duty to pound yam, at least my own side of Benue @ Miss Aboki
DeleteAt xhlrtedP, yes miss aboki should do that. Did something like that,when i just had my 1st child,and hubby refused helping out at home. Planned with my cousin and did wayo fainting. Was rushed to my family hospital where i had planned with the doctor. Was placed on bed rest for 1wk. And told not to be stressed. That was suffering from post natal depression and its not good.
DeleteOlodo she is not from Benue. And I dont think it's the men's duty to pound in their side bcos when we went to Gboko for her wedding it was her SIL that pounded for us for the 3days we stayed there. I wont lie I enjoyed the poundy and meat soup wella.
DeleteXP she haff give birth tay tay. MIL came for omugwo, she wasnt too strong so she only bathed baby plus she's diabetic so they had to prepare her own food differently.
Me I cannot say anything cos she didnt tell me anything. I saw her elder sister in the market recently, it's that one that told me everything. She couldnt tell me the whole story sef cos we were both in haste.
And we dont live in the same state sef.
DeleteThe in-laws are supposed to be doing the pounding and not the wife. I think its the husband's fault. He was supposed to command his brothers to take turns in pounding it. The man is not a caring man. I pity the poor lady
DeleteMs Aboki, her husband is EVIL. God forbid I do such, pound yam for what? Abeg.
DeleteI used to give my MIL different delicacies, I don't do that anymore when shes around, we microwave and all eat what's in the freezer.
I just noticed lastweek that she just unblocked me on WhatsApp lastweek, she no won carry bitterness enter March.
Some people are very lucky with good in-laws and some are unfortunately but I will never advice anyone accomodating in-laws. I have and will never be rude to my in-laws but I have given them that space as I want peace of mind.
17 years no be moi moi and no be me say make I marry a man after Gods heart. I almost lost my life because we converted to Christianity, MIL will bring jazz from Nigeria to put in my house,e meanwhile she'sp for her daughter's to stay married. How can that happen? Her other 2 sons wife's have all gone cos of the problems this woman brings from Nigeria, 1st daughter now divorced, the 2nd ones husband just moved out of their home lastweek.
Too complicated 🤷🏾♀️
Oh she has delivered the baby,it is all good but incase of another, assist her with a fake bed rest while she switches to fake 'slow mode' and panting, let us see how a preggie having shortness of breadth will pound yam.
DeleteAfter Omugwo, she has to fix herself somewhere even if it is a supermart assistant, any shop that will accept a nursing mother and baby.
Na woman wey dey house dey pound yam.
Anony 18:10 There is a curse somewhere making their marriages to pack up,it ain't ordinary.
Please fight with prayers and protect your marriage.
#shudders
I will come back to write
ReplyDeleteI really think it’s different strokes for different folks. The circumstances and the kind of people involved would play a large role in ones response to this, esp as it may not always be possible to turn up your nose and say 'hell no’.
ReplyDeleteI lived with some of my hubby’s relatives after marriage, what would I have done? One was already living with him while doing a small job The other joined because he was posted to serve in Lagos.
In my case, both relatives were very helpful and respectful, but sometimes, I wished we had our space, the whole house, to ourselves.
My conclusion: don’t be irrational and unaccommodating, also don’t tolerate any sort of disrespect, as keeping quiet will just breed more disrespect. I enjoyed the time I spent with my inflows before they left our home, but I won’t be quick to recommend this, cos I know some in-laws are just a thorn in the flesh.
Same with me. My brother in law was of great help to me. I share the duties that we do. He could sweep then I mop. When it comes to cooking beans, he is an expert. I am older than him by 7years and not for once has he disrespected me.
DeleteWe miss him now because he has gone for his masters degree.
I am sure I wouldn't have had a good relationship if it was his sisters
@mystic 1000 likes for your comment
DeletePlease take it from someone who has been there.
ReplyDeleteIt is a lot of work and you'll often be misunderstood no matter what you do.
In my own case, I will never entertain relatives living with me again. Never.
You come and go. I went through hell but in the end, God turned it for good.
I look at the person now and and even though I don't gloat or laugh at him.
I have clearly witnessed with him that everyone will surely reap what they sowed even if it takes time, and especially for those who are unremorseful , and the worse is for those who are not retrospective, they'll keep blaming external forces not knowing it's just harvest time.
This life back pot of beans, e go still done.
My brother in-laws came to live with us less than a month after the wedding!!
ReplyDeleteThey were posted to lagos for NYSC(how do u turn them down? How can they rent an apartment when there will be extra rooms in thier siblings house?),we all have our differences,we had days we would not smile to ourselves cos we dey vex each other but THERE WAS NO CONFRONTATION,we just let things go and forgave easily till they travelled!
My advice is no matter how long a relative has to stay,of course it won't be rosy but try to accommodate/be prepared for anything then u start counting down to when they leave,shebi no matter how long y'all can't live together forever!
Good advice Lagos Shopper.
DeleteAlso, don't do eye service. Don't start what you cannot finish. Treat them with respect, respect yourself, they will respect you. If they misbehave, call them and talk to them. Don't be too quick to report them to your husband.
Don't start what you can't finish
ReplyDeleteReading comments....
ReplyDeleteThis is my 8month in marriage and no family member has ever spent a night even though we live in a 3 bedroom flat. My family are lag based,my hubby family are delta based.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby elder sister stay in same state with us ,in fact #100 t.fare to my house(she is married with two kids).we see in the market, I visit once in three month even during our 2 years friendship.
I have seen people living peacefully with relatives and also seen those suffering in it.
I wish my siblings can even come for a visit or my parents sef but they keep saying Ekiti is far from lag.I did all my marriage rites in lagos,no one excursed us to ado Ekiti,lol.
Escorted*
ReplyDeleteI can't let my siblings live with me oh, they are troublesome and toxic especially my mum, I avoid them like plaque.
ReplyDeleteMy mum can make you fight yourselves, she can create competition too. Abeg, I rather run away than live with my mum
Some families though
DeleteYour mum?
DeleteSad
Well,no everyone will accept for inlaws to stay with them. My husband doesn't like the fact that my mum stays with me, he does her petty business, she's very helpful to me and minds her business. My mum's former house was just 15 mins drive from my house, she has been staying with us since she came for omugwo,its a year now. Her former place was bought and demolished and getting another apartment is very expensive. Getting a trusted help is very difficult, we've had issues with two of them and my hubby said he'll take his time to get another one, so I talked to him to allow her stay. It hasn't been easy though sinv6 the past one year, hubby complains a lot about unnecessary things. He said he's not comfortable that he prefers house help to a family member . My mum helps a lot, and he sees that, she help with the kids and clothes, sometimes she stays with the kids when we are out, but he still doesn't appreciate. Well she's leaving next month and I'll miss her so much. She is really helpful to me. I'm her only child and she can do anything to make me comfortable. Hubby is planning on getting a help, I'll do the work I can do and no help will touch my kids..
ReplyDeleteImagine yesterday my mum and I was watching ultimate love and because he detest the programme, he told her to watch another programme,
I am so sorry but your husband is not accommodating...he doesn't just like the idea of your mum being around. I don't even like the idea of leaving your mum alone with kids without a help, it is very stressful.Anyway see finish has set in, when she leaves, he will appreciate her better..
DeleteOh well, let your mom spend time with you guys from time to time but not stay permanently since your hubby doesn't like the idea. Your husband may disrespect her some day and you won't like it. Some relationship thrive from afar.
DeleteIt's not a good idea that your mum is staying with you. Things like that easily turn to insult. I do understand you are an only child but still it's not ok. Your mum can come on short visits. She can stay in your vicinity but not in your house.
DeleteI have two sisters who have only a child each. When those girls got married and left for their matrimonial homes, all the family owned them was passing by visits or during childbirth. You need a rope to drag my eldest sister to go stay a week with her daughter but then my parents were like that. They only visit their children when it's really necessary. My dad will plainly tell you nobody should go and disturb the children in their matrimonial homes. Omugwo was done in our house rather than the children's houses. Sometimes it's best to leave married couples on their own unless they specially request you come stay with them. Some families are very good at transferring their responsibilities to their married children by sending younger ones to go live with them by fire by force and not caring if they are ok or not.
Your hubby is disgustingly rude, he would rather a help helps out than his own trusted inlaw? Would he treat his mother like that? What kind of useless attitude is this biko?
DeletePeople abroad are looking for such help, and he is doing rubbish
So sorry about your predicament. Get a small apartment for her even if it is one room.
DeleteI've been married for 11mths.No relative lives here.You only come and go .Before you come you call .My husband and I discuss it .You'll let us know how long U're staying bfre coming .We agreed on all these before Marriage. if it's not okay by you please do not bother to visit. no space for living with anybody at all .
ReplyDeleteNo. No. No.
ReplyDeleteWe bought a 2 bedroom exclusive apartment in a posh environment and restricted relations from moving in because the standard rules within The Courts was tight, we pretended to be conforming to norms.
It is one of the solid advice from my parents.
Too much familiarity breeds contempt.
You keep people away early enough, you stay safe from internal wranglings.
My own case , i was posted to the state my cousin and his wife lived for nysc ( married 3yrs that time and cousin was raised by my parents and lived with us from his teenage years till he got married and moved to the state wife works) i told him i was posted for my nysc before i arrived. While in camp my dad and i agreed i will get an apartment. After camp my cousin insists he will never allow his sister stay somewhere else while he is in the same town. It must be under his roof, he won't let me rent a place so that friends will not lead me to a bad lifestyle. I didn't know that his wife was against it and didn't want me in the house. Stella i saw hell, she wanted to turn me to her ATM, asking me for money every day. Insulting me indirectly, making snide remarks everything she sees. I didn't know she and my cousin were having serious marital issues and he barely stays in the house cause he was avoiding her too. I told my folks but they couldn't believe me because she is always nice and well behaved to everyone in the family. She even sang songs insulting me whenever i was in the house. I paid all bills, i bought foodstuff and toiletries i gave her transport to work but it wasn't enough. She wanted cash. I bought clothes and toys for her kids, but i still got insulted. She told neighbors that i was sleeping with their husbands. (according to her i look like the type that will date married men) because i complained about some of the neighbors making passes at me. The story too long but all i know is, i will NEVER live with a relative again. If it's not my Father's house, it should be my house, or my husband's house. These are the only places i will live in. Sorry for the typo, my keyboard has issues.
ReplyDeleteWow, another angle
DeleteHmm inside life...
DeleteLiving with my parents in law and its not easy. Sometimes I want to run away and its not easy as I had a baby in November. Father in law talks to me like I am a child,scoldingme for not telling him who and who gave what to baby,not coming to greet him in the morning (when some mornings I don't even know when hubby leaves for his shop because of how baby kept me awake the whole night)..etc
ReplyDeleteMother in Law's own,is that cooking plantain with beans is sweet mouth,I eat too much stew with rice..I tire for them.just praying for hubby to get a job outside the state we are in so we can relocate.
Ha! Eating plantain and beans is sweet mouth? Wetin Rhoda nor go read for sdk? I'm 'shook'
DeleteSo your husband can't rent outside the family home? Well, you knew you were going to stay with them after marriage.
DeleteBetter to stay in one room than staying in that house.
DeletePoster why not talk to your husband to rent a small place? This stress you are going through could affect you ooo.....
DeleteMy husband's brother came to live with us after I gave birth to my first child. He is been staying with us ever since. He is about to finished his youth service now.
ReplyDeleteYou just have to set your boundaries and always be in charge. And my hubby really helped in letting him know my position in the house. We didn't have any issues.
God bless and prosper your husband. I love such men 👌🏾
DeleteMet hubby with his niece living with him ,fast forward we got married ,this young woman put me thru shit. Instigates the kids to disrespect and disregards me ,wont help out in chores around the house ,i cook while she watches cable TV i paid for or sleeps after cooking i will call her to share food just to draw her close after a while i borrowed myself sense and stared dishing food for all man ,i buy her gifts never reported her to hubby just so he will get her a job since she has been there for him and kids , but he knows she hardly helps me out ,like i showed her so much love but got hate in return,it got too much i went on my knees prayed until i got my peace .One fateful day hubby was correcting her on misguiding and not correcting the kids aaaaah chisos!!she shut him down like a kid ,aaahhh every where helter scatter he threw her out after the incident ,another fateful day she showed up 6 months pregnant for a tiler begging me to help talk to hubby for so he wont go crazy on her ,hhhhmm as a chineked daughter i did ,smiles she got served las las !!!
ReplyDelete😂😂😂 @Chineked daughter 🤣
DeleteWhat do they say about revenge being served cold...
Different strokes for different forks...
ReplyDeleteFew months after my wedding i brought in my niece, though she was just 7yrs then.
Last year January my hubby's cousin of 20yrs came to stay with us too. And she is still in our house currently still seeking for admission. My hubby younger Brother also do visit, at times he spent like a month or more than before going and am always happy whenever he is arround bcz he is so helpful. Aside washing of my cloths and cooking there is no any other house chores he cannot do even without been told. I so much love his company.
Even his cousin that is leaving with us is so hard working too though she have her own flaws too but one have to look at the other side of her and accommodate her and ignore some of her flaws. Any time she did something i dont like, i called her attention to and cussion her and she will take correction immidiately. I treat her like my own younger sister. But all boil down to the kind of husband you marry sha. Because his families knows him very well that he does'nt take shit, so if you are coming to his house you need to package and respect your self.
My nephew got a job in my city ,popsy said after he settles in he will get him a place ,out of pity since i have a free BQ i went against family decision plus oga no mind ,every one in my family kept asking me if i was sure of what i got myself into knowing his antecedents ,i boldy replied that i have counselled him and i believe in Second chances ,the office delayed to call them for resumption ,lo and behold my nephew started to flout all the house rules claiming this is my aunt's house ,plus chopping the house girl's kpekus with reckless abandon,giving my hard earned raw food stuffs claiming he likes to help his friends since we have enough in the store ,idiot house girl never told me until they he caught her chopping other pricks for area and seized her phone ,she now came to report to me silly ,innocent me i was blazing why would he try such until all hell let loose no be small fight and confessions aaaah my ear drums nearly bursted ooo .Kai this geh dey my house dey carry 4 different pricks +my nephew ,giving him choice meals as her kpekus nacker naaa,chai this one shredded my heart the dress i bought for her for CHristmas she told my nephew that i must be blind to buy her such (a combat dress,bush village geh didnt understand the fashion) funny enough after i picked out the dress,my spirit told me no just bother yourself about this silly girl ,but love won, i got it for her .well as the fight finish Kai they decked each other well well pass Fury and Wilder with injuries ,i watched and watched hehehehe! Until my spirit ministered to me to end the fight and gave them money to go to the pharmacy and treat themselves .They gathered against me but i know how to treat fuckups, but i threw out my nephew ,i cant be baby sitting nonsense ,the house girl stayed but had to spend out of her salary to run some test ,which i plan she will still repeat after 6 months still from her salary .Rubbish !!!
ReplyDeleteYou better send that yeye house girl away too 🥴😏🤷🏾♀️
DeleteOne thing I know that if it's within your power to help someone (not one who will give you trouble), do it. I feel as humans, we need everyone at every point in life
ReplyDeleteMy hubby doesn't like people coming to stay with us whether short period or not, but his mindset changed when he was told to work in another branch very far from home, no provision for accommodation. Thank God he found a friend (married)who accommodated him for one month and he enjoyed his stay. So if they had same policy of not allowing people come stay with them, I'm sure it would hv been stressful for him. At least couples married from 1or 2 years and above can accommodate others if they have the space and convenience
We had to put up with my sis inlaw for some time due to reasons beyond our control. After 1 week she started giving me attitude, never knew she was angry at me for whatever reasons.
ReplyDeleteInnocent me thought it was her usual mood swings. Later she complained to my hubby about how I was too lazy to help her wash her clothes,do this and that hmmnnn while I'm of the opinion that don't start what you cannot finish,God knows I tried my best, when it came to house chores.
My people,we didn't spend up to 2 months in her house o,she show me pepper,I didn't really mind because I knew one day Sha we will move.what really got me pissed was that she reported me to anyone who cared to listen, painting me bad.
She eventually threw our things out in the middle of the night,not minding that I had a baby. Thank God we already rented a place that we were planning to move in.
In my opinion, people are different, but in order to avoid unnecessary 'see finish' avoid it at all cost.
This is my 7th year in marriage and for once my hubby and I have never stayed alone. Infact, I met 5 slibings (three boys and two illiterate girls) living together and I joined them making 6.
ReplyDeleteThey all are my seniors, although hubby is their senior bros and their first son. Mother _ inlaw visit once when she fail ill but late now. So, you can imagine what I went through as a little girl that thought she could escape hardship
by getting married. Abeg, make I leave matter for Mathias. But trust me am wiser now and can even counsel young couple.
#visited#
DeleteWhen I got married,hubby was already leaving with 3siblings..ha full hoyse.innocent me didn't see it as anything bad until d smallest one started showing me shege..I'm sure na Anini born dat boy..he can steal from for Africa.infact Las Las he impregnated our landlord house girl.na so hubby bundled him back to their parents.All thus parents wey dey born full house with d mentality dat d senior ones will train d younger ones.
ReplyDeleteMy Mother in law gave me a panic attack! Thanks are to God I'm no longer that naive people-pleasing girl again.
ReplyDeleteMy kid sis has been living with me for 20 years now,
ReplyDeleteSo I should throw her out because I am married? That's inhumane, how do you people live in isolation? No family member can spend a week with you, are you a witch? My wife filled my ears of how my baby sis does nothing but makeup and stuff women do, I calmly put a hidden nanny cam in the house, fam, some women are evil, d cam shows where she beats my sis and my sis would be running around, and she never reported any of those incidents to me, and wifey would be angelic when I'm around. I simply told her my kid sis would leave d house d day she gets married, and that is final. My sister would always remain my sister, when she gets married, nobody will maltreat her. What if you are stranded or a bit tight in a state, wont u crash with someone? What if they say, nobody stays in my house, wont you feel bad? Just respect yourself and set rules, dont be overly friendly, it breeds contempt. If I say no in law stays with me, fine, but you as wife cannot come n bar my people from visiting me, no! They gave birth to me, trained me into d man you fell in love in with. If they are disrespectful, they would be kicked our, simple.
I love your reasoning.
DeleteYou're a man
I lived with people and got maltreated , insulted and disrespected cos my father said he can never spend money when he has siblings in the state we were in even tho we complained what the so called sadistic siblings were doing. Even my mum that was supporting him got disrespected as well but it was already too late. Anyways the ones that did that got served so no need talking too much. But I told them that they should pray that they will always have money cos if their kids need accomodation and it's my house, I will fuck them up worse than they did me and they know it. Even my siblings know my kind of person. I don't do revenge but when God brings it to me on a platter of gold, I will enjoy that shit.
ReplyDeleteFor your own sake do not repay the children the evil that their parents did to you. My mum maltreated my uncle and he was hell bent on inflicting revenge on us the children. However, his son was in a situation and we bailed him out big time. My uncle started crying and confessing that now he knows we are not like our parents. Please for your own sake and for the sake of your children, don't take revenge on the children. Face the parents and break the cycle.
DeleteI had a bad experience of living with sibling especially the in-laws which is a story of another day,in order to be called a good wife or seen as an accomodative person.Am now smarter.The rule now no more visitor that will stay more than one day.Husband have being around telling who wants to hear that i don't want people in his house that i have chased everybody out but i don't care i want my sanity and peace
ReplyDeleteThank your stars. DO NOT ALLOW IN LAWS FROM EBONYI ESP THE SISTERS. THOSE WOMEN ARE EVIL!!!!
ReplyDeleteLoll choi
DeleteIt's well