Wednesday, March 11, 2020
Snooping On Your Partner's Family Before Marrying..
Do you think it is right to snoop on your partners family before marrying?Every tribe has something that raises the eyebrows concerning certain families or traditions........
Check this out!
119 comments:
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This is popular among the Igbo tribe.There is no harm in asking questions.
ReplyDeleteBloody liar, their is no place in Arochukwu like that. People should stop with the lies just because of cheap likes on sm.
DeleteYes oo!.. Maka adịghị ama ama mehn..
DeleteI núkwa'm akükó bikonu.
Hian!
Snooping just saved me from a dysfunctional family. Met the guy and withn weeks he wanted us to get married sharp sharp and start having kids immediately as all his junior ones are settled.
Deletei visited their family house which he still stays as he just relocated back to Nigeria and the mother is very elderly. Getting there found out the mother is not so okay mental wise, assumed it was old age. But when i saw this old woman drinking and smoking so fear begin catch me. Then she started harrasing me for money. I heard they have mental illness in the family that the mother committed all sorts of atrocities back then in Enugu. Someone that rew up with them in the East downloaded so many stories to me. They even said her husband died because of her trouble. Still the son continue to stay in the toxic house. Some days i find her cursing her son that he will never do well, all sorts. Even the guy was showing signs of mental illness. After some visits to the house. i just ran.
My late father-in-law was an avid womanizer!
DeleteIt was so bad he would bring home 2 or more women at a time and my mother-in-law who is very quiet would make vacate his bedroom and serve the 2 ladies in her marital home!
The woman is still very calm long after his death and all his sons ALL have a chronic womanizing habit and have not made any progress of any kind financially ALL his sons!
I think the family is cursed as the females also sleep around with peoples husbands! I KNOW my children Wont pick up their curse!
With what i know now i would never have married into that family.
Abeg carry your children go better church
DeleteLies.
ReplyDeleteThere is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus because the law of the Spirit of Life in Christ has set us free from the Law of sin and death Romans 8...
If you are not in Christ, you are just bread that the Serpent can eat anytime he likes.
I did not stop my parents from "asking/snooping" but my fiance and I had made up our minds to get married no matter what they found out. We saw each other in the realm of Christ more than half a decade before we met.
That and the Scriptures we knew settled it. we've been happily married for almost a dozen years😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
And never argued.
He has twins in his family and nobody has died. If you are in Christ, you take authority over all those schemes of the devils.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
shut up you sanctimonious judgmental idiot..stupid liar always claiming perfect this perfect that..lies because you know their truth? if your husband is lucky does that mean others are? yes Christ redeems from all these but you have to know what you are dealing with and pray accordingly. not everyone is a believer or a strong christian.
DeleteANG is your husband from arochukwu in Imo state ?Understand before you write. They said that it destroys charms .....
Delete@14:07
DeleteQuoting you:
"Christ redeems from all these..."😊😊
We are saying same things except for your insults which I receive with thanks. 😊😊
The only problem you may have is that I can NEVER be shut up and I will not insult.
Thank you very much. My prayer is that you become a "strong Christian" inugo?
😘😘😘😘😘😘
@14:19
DeleteAjuju n'ese okwu 😂😂😂😂😂
Jesus is the destroyer of charms
"and never argued".. What a wawu!
DeleteRobotic kinda ish.. Both of you 'programmed' n all..
Chai, ụmụ Nigeria na religión. *smh*
Arochukwu is in Abia while Arondizugo is in imo state @anon
DeleteThanks for the correction.
Delete@Onyinyechukwu
DeleteYes, we've lived for about a dozen years and never argued, do you have a problem with that?
Test run; have you ever seen me reply insult with insult on this blog?
Okwa ajuju o.
The same way you behave here is same way you do in your homes. Most of you come here to fight
instead of to learn. I have learned a lot here and I share my experiences too. Instead of
asking how, you are talking about religion which I do not talk about. I talk about a person; Christ Jesus
and NEVER about religion (human rules).
Make I ask my own ajuju n'ese okwu give you.
1. Have you given your life to Jesus Christ?
2. Do you and your spouse have at least 3 days in a week you fast and pray for
your relationship with each other and with Jesus?
😊😊😊😊😘😘😘
Darling,what I do and don't do with my spouse will only be your cup o'tea WHEN and IF I make it yours by talking about me and mines like you did/do..
DeleteAnd as for our rship with christ, *chuckles*.. Well, we all have to see what happens on the last day,don't we?
Agbacha ósó ya bụ eluigwe, agúónú mile.. 😁
@Onyinye
DeleteBut you are quarreling with your spouse already, aren't you? Perhaps settling and quarreling.
The moment you came under my comment and mocked it, you asked for my response.
The prison is teeming with ladies that killed their husbands and we just read one last week.
I met one there that used aku odo -a pestle to break the husband's head like coconut.
It all started from quarreling, didn't it?
I wish you bliss and God's blessing in your marriage.
May your marriage be even more peaceful than mine
And may you be present in the marriage supper of the Lamb. Amen.😘😘😘
Awww.. Baby love, I dey talk sth you dey yarn opata.
DeleteYou deduced all these from?.. My comment?.. Lol, for someone who has never argued, you sure have a lot of knowledge bout malice and quarrel.
Anyhoo darling,let me educate you a bit, argument simply means to have a different or opposing opinion on a matter, no be to fight or knack pestle.. And no HEALTHY friendship/brother-sister rship/marriage is devoid of that..
You are mature, you should know that.
You agree to disagree..
Oh,.. And I never said you shouldn't respond, damn, you gat your thumbs, I gat mine.. For petes sake, type away..
And for the prayers, I believe you need it wayyyy more than I do.
Cos over here, we good luv, enjoy. ✌️
#LastReply..
Madam, go and see down.
DeleteYes you insult on these blogs, sometimes it is hidden in your comment, other times you are replying someone. You even constantly insult the celebs.
@Onyinyechukwu
DeleteLast reply or first reply no matter. Wetin matter be say, i type, you read. 😊😊😊
I did not say "naking" pestle is argument. I said It starts with argument; I no gree, you are wrong etc.
If you reject my good prayers for you, it automatically comes back to me, see the Word:
Luke 10: …5 Whatever house you enter, begin by saying, ‘Peace to this house.’ 6 If a man of peace is there, your peace will rest on him; if not, it will return to you.
😘😘😘
@21:39
DeleteThanks for your insults.
At least, you have not seen me arguing or quarreling and you attested to that.
The ones you call "hidden" are seen by only you.
😂😂😂😂😂
Ang abi nah Anger u are too judgemental and full of negativity.
DeleteU feel everything about u is just so perfect. u hve to ammend ur ways cause ur attitude is just so disgusting and don't portrays the Life of a Christian.
ANG is very annoying with her holier than thou attitude.
DeleteWelldone Onyinyechi for govong it to her hot hot!
People should be scared of hellfire, not these stuff.😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏
ReplyDeleteAmen .
DeleteWell said.
DeleteI'm scared of both abeg..
Delete@15:10
DeleteLuke 12:4I tell you, My friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. 5But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear the One who, after you have been killed, has power to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear Him!
This is my case now, my husband came from an extented family, his step mom is a big witch, she says it out witout fear when ever u are going up financially u just drop suddenly.Now hubby expect me to be a prayer warrior for d rest of my life becos of his family background, knowing fully well dat i a not d type dat can pray for 5hours.He knew he had dis kind of issue, y didn't he marry someone dat can pray for hours everyday? I pray but not for too long.Funny enough he never told me he had serious spiritual family battle.
Deletehope he is leading the battle and not leaving the prayers to you alone. The bible verse that speaks about two agreeing on earth....
DeleteIt is right,it is compulsory to snoop on the family before you jam tree in the name of marriage
ReplyDeleteLadies if you're marrying an Esan person, pls open your eyes and snoop that family...
ReplyDeleteWe say if you see a snake 🐍 and an Esan, kill that Esan before the snake🐍... E get why
What about Esan people?
DeleteLike the Imolites will say kill the Mbaise man before coming for the snake. Na wao. Every tribe had their iwn
DeletePlease Aproko, don't be too quick to generalize. I'm an esan woman and I find dat statement very offensive. Not everyone in a tribe is terrible.
DeleteIf u see Bini please run.
DeleteMany marry for properties
They will just turn the man to a dummy
Martiegold, did I say you all are terrible? It's an adage that has been in existence whether you like am or not you can change it.
DeleteTenth, I laugh at your ignorant statement😂😂😂😂 in case you don't know, they have more landladies in Benin than Landlords. Women at building their homes and they don't wait for Men to build for them.. Anyway, even you sef cannot leave gold and start digging charcoal
Benin's are worse. I will pick an esan man over Benin anytime anyday. But still good people are everywhere same as bad people.
DeleteAproko, you are actually the ignorant one. Razz girl.
DeleteAproko just revealed her Benin blood today. The hatred between Benin and Esan no be today e start.
DeleteAproko it's the not true.My sister married an esan man.He is the best in-law we ever had.Humble,royal and many more.
DeleteTheir marriage is almost 30 years
Yes I support you ''snooping'' on your intending partner's family..Very very important so you dont inherit generational curses or start on a wrong foundation..Odinkpa biko..
ReplyDeleteVery important ooo, i know of a family where the ladies marry very late,and if you are lucky enough to get marry,then having kids becomes an issue..
DeleteWhat u don't believe in can't kill you. That's my own belief.
ReplyDeleteGbam!
DeleteWell said Joy 👌👌👌
DeleteWell said Joy.
DeleteBetter thank God for your own. I'ld never risk stuff like that, even if it's something I don't believe in.. It can scar someone for life.
DeleteNOT well said.
DeleteWas it not here we read a chronicle about a man whose wife had mental issues? And the wife's family deliberately kept that detail from him. He only got to know after she had given to their kids..
DeleteFor me, l believe one should ask about medical conditions that run in the family. If you have a recessive gene for albinism and marry another person with the same you guys will have an albino. It is important to ask to avoid having children with genetic linked medical conditions that could have been avoided. Mental illnesses, epilepsy, cancer, autism, etc all run in families. Snoop to find out which one your partner has in their family especially if your partner is not open about telling you.
ReplyDeleteMschew! Is albinism a problem? If I have an albino as a child, it certainly isn't a bad thing.
DeleteAnon 14:19, not everyone likes albinos or wishes to have one as a child
DeleteShooter, she said "If I", she didn't say everyone.
DeleteShooter may ignorance not buy you trouble. You people just run ur mouth anyhow and pile up curses. You were not raised to keep shut in issues like this if you have nothing nice to say abi? I pirry* u!
Delete@22:20, are you an albino? Easy dear, no be me send you
DeleteNothing Sanusi no go see for Kano.
ReplyDelete😂 😂
DeleteHow did Arondizuogu in IMO state relate to the trash you wrote up there mcheww
ReplyDeleteDon't mind the confused writer with a borehole of a mouth.
DeleteHonestly the way people envy Aro people is something else. Mtcheww
Delete@ADA WEALTH
Deleteplease who and who is envying aro people.for what kwanu?
Those people that are very fetish.
If na there wives remain,I better remain single.
it is compulsry, my hubby ;s family are something else , especially that his wicked step mom, they attend cele, infact they are making me have bad notion about cele people, my mother inlaw on the other hand gossips and say thrash about me, the family is too dramatic , had it been have snooped i wont;t chook head into the marriage, to make matter worse we are trying to get pregnant
ReplyDeleteWith all what you just said here, I think not getting pregnant is actually a blessing..so you can leave that family. Do you want children from such a lineage?
DeleteHmm u no go run? That how my friend introduced me to a guy and in 3months he was talking marriage, the mother giving me clothes to wash and telling me to be following her daughter to market so i will know how they buy things, imagine!
DeleteI will go to his shop and the sister will come walk me out, I'm supposed to go wash clothes for their mum. Iya! Na so i runnnnn oh. Geezzz! Toxic people
Its important to know so one doesn't get caught unawares.
ReplyDeleteIt's okay ... The part of Igbo where I come from, it is done ( iju ajuju)before any marriage rite is performed.
ReplyDeleteDuring the process, we were told that my husband's family quarrel a lot, both among the siblings.
In my native mind I said who doesn't quarrel,.
It was after marriage that I found out theirs wasn't the normal quarrel o. 1st born don't talk with 4th born. 3rd born don't talk to 5th born, 6th won't talk with 2nd. 3rd & 4th no dey talk. Like dat like dat and they are all married, some grandparents. Very quarelsom and malice filled/ infested family.
If your husband is not in talking term with the other, hmmmm, interaction with the wives na coded o, bcos the men go still quarrel about it. Me, I'm on my own and try to be just cordial with everyone.
Don't even try be friendly with an " okwere nke do Kara" ( agbo t'oko, she will tell her husband that "Tonia" had been saying hello n asking after the kids. Next thing that one will call your hus to earn his wife. NO BE SMALL THING O
This level of malice needs serious attention and God's help.
DeleteVery toxic environment that will be passed down to the children. Cousins hating each other.
No be small o. When my daughter did her marriage tired, no cousin o. They too, when they do , na on their own. The cousins only interact on fb. Very large family o. The eldest mate is just the one I'm very close with but our husbands don't talk.
Delete"Iju ese" is a very necessary step before marriage in igbo tradition.
ReplyDeleteVery important o.
ReplyDeleteIju Ese in iboland is very important especially as it put the intending wife on notice as to some customs and traditions, especially if she is a stranger to the community.
ReplyDeleteFamily wise, it lets the woman know what's on ground. We fall in love, Wed in the city forgetting that the real deal is knowing the family roots.
Jukwa Ese oooh!!!!🤷🤷🤷
i wish i did. i would have found out that my MIL was diabolic. she was never married and had kids from different men but my husband gave me the impression she was just divorced from his father. she raised her kids so bad except my hubby who grew up with his grandmum. i would have avoided all the warfare prayers i had to do to keep my marriage and have kids after ttc for almost 10 years. a man might be good but his other family members might be a problem to your marriage. if you are forearmed you might decided to end the relationship or just be battle ready..she is late now and am enjoying some peace in my home
ReplyDeleteGlad u in a better place now.
DeleteLol this post reminds me a tweet a few years ago that said something along the line of "Rest in peace Aunty, the evil you have done in this world is enough".
DeleteVery necessary. Dig deep.
ReplyDeleteIn the olden days, investigation or snooping is being done in the Yoruba tradition before any marriage take place. The family will secretly make enquiry about the family their son/daughter is going into, they want to know if there is any hereditary sickness in the family like epilepsy, madness. They also want to know if the man can take care of their daughter (in the case of the family giving out their daughter in marriage).
ReplyDeleteNow to the present age, I totally agree with the submission of anon 13:07. If you know your stand in Christ, with prayers, no generational curse or hereditary sickness will have power over one.
You are correct but we still do it but in a very modern way.
DeleteMy family did their investigation before I settled down with hubby vice versa.
Its a good thing...o snoop and also send people to snoop,they will definitely find something either good or bad,
ReplyDeleteThe best form of digging/snooping
ReplyDeleteIs praying about it , if you've a relationship with God and he would lead you
Deuteronomy 29:29
The secret things belong unto the LORD our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children for ever, that we may do all the words of this law.
I remember when my mom was praying about my fiancé a lot of things I hadnt told her even things i didnt know myself was revealed to her , i asked him in passing it he confirmed it , I believe we should know what we are getting into and also be prepared both spiritually so yeah it's good to know but let God lead.
Very apt choco!
DeleteExactly if you have a good relationship with God, and your hands are free from any form of bloodshed.
DeleteHe will not forsake you.
I know that for a fact. Even when I wasn't seriously praying about the marriage, the Lord revealed something to me about the guy. I mean I saw myself in a market, inside a tricycle, so I spotted my guy oooh and out of excitement I jumped out and started waving at him to see me. But he just walked past me, he was walking with his mum in the dream, he just walked past like he didn't see me. I was shocked then I followed them to a building, but someone who appeared to be his relative. Said I should hold on, that my fate is to be determined by the family.
Imagine!!!
I woke up and approached a man of God concerning the dream, he told me that the marriage would not work. Another person said his mum is not in support of the marriage. And he is quite close to his mum.
My dear. Na so e take go.
My point is a close relationship with God is everything. His Angels will always be on your radar.
Same process with me too, my mum is a seer, couldn't have agreed to my hubby without her prayers and help.
DeleteThanks@ chocolat.
DeleteThis up here is the plain truth. Even before you meet your man if you are really close to God he will show you things about him from his name to his occupation and everything you need to know about his family members too.
God is merciful, same thing happened to me, upon how toxic his people were, he was still insisting on marry me.
DeleteFinally he took me to one woman to convince me, the woman talk plenty talk. That night, i had a dream was in an unknown place, started asking someone for direction, next thing w woman was calling me to give direction.
One guy gave me eye contact that i shouldnt listen to her and he told me how to find my way out, where to get a cab and i shouldnt look back, just keep moving. I woke up and didn't need anyone to interpret it for me
Odi very important please
ReplyDeleteIt's very important to avoid inheriting generational issues. Ranging from madness, incest, early death, struggling without result, witchcraft or medical issues. Look before you leap so you don't build a mansion in MFM camp.
ReplyDeleteIt's very important and necessary to do some findings of your partner's family
ReplyDeleteA lot of people are going through hell in their marriage cos their new family have so many curses on their head,hence fighting battles everyday!
Stellakoko, it's very important. You would get to hear some information that will help you make your decision.
ReplyDeleteVery critical especially in the times we are in i.e "I'm in LOVE" is not enough to marry a person. It is better to be careful than sorry because so much is happening in families especially at the foundational level.
ReplyDeleteJust thought about this before I came online to see it here. I wish I had done the same. Very dramatic family both mother and father side. Tuehhh! Stingy, narcissistic, manipulative, hypocrites, egoistic. I'm so disgusted
ReplyDeleteAt least they are not ritualist.
DeleteIs it my girlfriend that wrote this? I feel so pained when i remember that she is married to such a family, anyway she saw the signs but i must marry symptom killed her.
DeleteIt's very normal in ibo land.
ReplyDeleteVery important!! My late FIL had an issue with pride and made his wife his doormat, also anger issues.
ReplyDeleteI thought my educated husband (we met and live abroad) would be different...WRONG! He started manifesting those same things. Plus his brothers are also doing the same.
Of course outsiders wouldn’t know about this during the questioning. But I wouldn’t introduce any female cousins to my brother in law.
You're all shouting dig deep, I hope you know they are going to dig your own family too.
ReplyDeleteYou all think you're the only one that knows how to dig deep yen yen yen.
Nothing wrong with either of the couple or family trying to know what's going on especially if it's done the right way .
DeleteWould you marry someone you know nothing about ?
I'm not talking about extended family here .
Please people snoop o. That's how my cousin got married to her husband who had mental illness. His mother has mental illness, his elder brother, 2 of his cousins from his mother's side and his mother's sister (aunt). My cousin ran away. Terrible. Not only was his mother mad she was also occultic.
ReplyDeleteBloody liars. I have close family from Arondizuogu, in fact my mother's side and there is absolutely no taboo about them. They are just naturally stubborn and proud and they feel like they are doing you a favour by marrying you, is that a taboo?? Apart form that, i see them as one of the progressive Igbos, there's nothing like osu to the Aros (Arochukwu & Arondizuogu0. They do not discriminate but as usual, they like to marry themselves. They also like to dominate people which is very bad even their women are like that too. Lots of people from my town Nnewi even married from them.
ReplyDeleteLol you are right.
DeleteAnonymous @ 15:43, My Dear Nnewi Sister, what you said is totally true...
DeleteHahahahaha. You are just something else
ReplyDeleteIt's very advisable to carry out your undercover or underground work on your suitor's family to avoid stories that touch
ReplyDeleteSnoop and very well too if possible look for someone from his or her town who knows his or her family history before going into marriage. I have spent four decade in my marriage regretting the day I met him. The family he comes from I won't even recommend for my enemy's daughter or son to go and marry from such a witch infested family.
ReplyDeleteHa! for four decades??? that is a long time to feel that way about a partner. Sorry ma!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWow. Things are happening o
ReplyDeleteIju ese is very necessary and important, but enemies can take advantage of that though.
ReplyDeleteMy mother's mate told one of my suitors that madness runs in our family, which is a very big lie from the pit of hell, they were just jealous that such caliber of man could come for my hand in marriage.
God compensated me with someone better!!
My family both immediate/ extended still do this till date. Irrespective of where he or she is from, they travel down to get details about the family/village.
ReplyDeleteAs for my family, we run away from anything Ijebu because of our bad experiences with them. They are very fetish
ReplyDeleteps this is needful.
ReplyDeleteBloody liar am from arochukwu and there is no such thing Biko..
ReplyDeleteArondizuogu is Imo but they are more like Amambara sef.If you have a problem with them, then u have a problem with Anambra. I am from Uga and they are more like my kin
ReplyDeleteIt necessary to do underground checking before saying I do.
ReplyDeleteIt is important
ReplyDeleteIs very important to check the background of one's soon to be partner, it reduces the rate of if i had known. A friend of ours married a very rich man with seasonal mental illness.
ReplyDeleteHis illness makes him very violent,his first wife left beacause of it. My friend let's call her pink. Pink's mother made sure she married him immediately with the excuse that other girls will go after the rich guy and put sand in their garri.
Pink married this guy and the kolomental started,she miscarried severally beacause of the beating. Rape was his fantasy,she sustains cuts and lacerations on vagina,labia even to the anus it was that severe.
I almost forgot her wedding ring fell twice at the alter is that not sign enough hmmm.
She ran for her life after 4years leaving 2 children behind. Till now no one knows where she is exactly,she only update her FB page and talk about God page no pictures. The same man married another woman last year December. Pink's mother is very very selfish, greedy and manipulative her love for money & material things is incomparable. The Ex in law built a storey building for her and a big provision stores. They just married off the second daughter to a baron that base in Malaysia.
lets play detective. Who saw her run off, when was she seen last, is she really the one updating the fb?.....
Deletethe question goes on.
Yes, oh, let's investigate
DeleteHow I wished I had snooped before I married him too,the mother is fetish,the father died a chronic womanizer, his siblings has kids for different men,now hubby is exhibiting same traits!, as that was not enough he adds irresponsibility to his name,I have two kids in the university that I sponsored all alone,one may likely forfeit the admission soon because of money.snooping is very very necessary
ReplyDelete