Chronicle Of Hope...

What a shocking ,wonderful story of not losing hope.....

How God Removed Shame And Humiliation From My Life.

My story might be quite long but it's definitely worth reading. I had a problem that was normal when young but becomes abnormal when you grow up. It's called bed wetting. When I was young, I thought I will outgrow it, as I grew up it reduced but it never really ceased. I came from a family of six, three girls and three boys, I am the last born and all we girls sleep in one room on a king size bed.

Around the age of 13, I started my period and I was still bed wetting. My sisters abuses intensified and I was always sad and ashamed. I later realized that feeling sorry for myself while I became an object of ridicule and mockery from my siblings wasn't going to make it stop, I started helping myself. Whenever it happens, I will sneak from the bed, go to basket for dirty clothes, pick like three thick clothes, sneak back to bed‎, spread the dirty clothes on my urine-soaked side and lie down on it (I always make sure I sleep by the edge of the bed, claiming I want to read before I sleep). I wouldn't change the cloth I was wearing cos anyone could become suspicious in the morning.

 I will stay awake for like an hour and a half, lying down on my urine, then I will stand up again, put the urine soaked clothes back under our pile of dirty clothes where nobody will quickly suspect. I will then pick another dirty cloth, sneak back to the bed, raise up the bedsheet, spread the dirty cloth under, arrange the bedsheet neatly back, all the while praying that non of my sisters should wake up. Sometimes one of them will suddenly wake up and I will just pretend I went to the toilet and then I will lie down to continue my sleep.

This might look dirty and disgusting to you guys but you don't know how shameful it really is when you are bed wetting as a teenage girl with budding breast and‎ the young boys in the area are beginning to notice you. You are always scared of your secret being exposed by your mouthy siblings when you are forming fine girl outside. Anyway, back to my story, I will be the last to get off the bed such mornings after my incident, when everyone has left the room, I will take out the urine soaked dirty cloth under the bed sheet, re-spread the bed, open the windows and join my family.

 Now, the thing is to make sure I do my laundry before any of my sisters, It wouldn't be wise for me to wash the same day of my bed wetting, my sisters are too smart, they know I don't like doing laundry and my dirty clothes sometimes stay for two weeks before I manage to wash them so why the sudden intrest in my dirty clothes? My secret might be exposed. So I will wait till like two to three days after before I will wash, all the while praying that non of them will find the urine soaked clothes at the bottom of the laundry basket. Mind you, It didn't always go as I planned, but I was able to keep my shame most of the time.

I finished my secondary school, my shame was still with me‎, by the time I entered the university, I had become a pro in hiding the evidence of my humiliation. Seriously, at this point, I believed there was no remedy for me, It caused me tears and worry but I accepted it as my fate; afterall, people have worse diseases and they learn to hide it and live with it, so why can't I? Before you begin to wonder if I went medical, I will tell u that I did. I couldn't go see a doctor face to face out of shame but I went online and I chatted with doctors. They said it's a normal occurrence that affects around 30 per cent of adults all over the world and I am not alone. They said 'eat light dinner early', I did. They said 'set alarm for midnight so you can go urinate during sleep', I did. They said 'weak pelvic floor muscle,do kegel exercises', I did, infact I still do. They said 'drink little or no water before bed', I did. It all didn't completely eradicate it, it just reduced the occurrence to once or twice every month.

I met my husband while I was still in the university and we got married before I graduated. I will go from school to my husband's house since I was a married woman and I was always lucky, my shame never occurred anytime I was there‎.

 Then I graduated and I have to live with my husband fully. The night of my arrival, we danced; toasted my graduation; ate full dinner and had s#x. By the time I was ready for bed, I was already very tired. I took off immediately my head ‎hit the pillow and I started having a pleasant dream where I was sitting and chatting with my mother and siblings; I suddenly felt this urge to urinate in the dream and I rushed to the bathroom, sat on the water closet and released my full bladder.

Even in the dream, I was asking myself why the urine was‎ so much. I could practically hear the trorororororo sound of my urine pouring and pouring into the water closet. Unknown to me, my husband was hearing the sound in real life and he just laid there soaked in my urine, staring at me in shock while continued to pee in my dream WC. Immediately I finished urinating, I woke up with a start and I just knew it had happened again. I turned to see if my husband was awake and I found him staring at me. I was giving myself hope that my sudden movement startled him awake and he would soon sleep off again so I can do my normal dirty cloth soaking method; but he just stood up, switched on the light and I knew there was no hiding. I was swimming in urine,everywhere around me on the bedspread was obviously soaked; hubby's pajamas was wet on one side from waist to his knees. 

I was found out, my secret has been exposed to the one person that has the power to destroy me. I covered my face in shame, still sitting in my pool of urine and I wept.

I always wonder why people dream of urinating‎ while they are actually bed wetting. Sorry I forgot to tell you about my dream, every time I bedwet, I always dream of gisting and joking around with my family; then I will feel this strong urge to urinate. The surprising thing was I wouldn't wake up until I have emptied my bladder on the bed, then I will jump up as if someone pricked me; by then, it would have been too late. Anyway, sorry I digressed a little, back to my night of shame. My husband came back to the bed, pulled me into his arms and told me not to cry, he told me he loves me and nothing will make him stop loving me. He pulled me up, changed my cloth and his, took me to our guest room, he spread a new sheet on the bed in the guest room and told me to lie down. I just stood there crying and covering my face, he pulled me gently into his arms and laid down with me on the bed all the while stroking me and telling me everything will be okay. If I hadn't fallen in love before, I can surely tell you that I fell deeply in love that night.

After some time, my tears subsided while he was still comforting me. I knew it was time for question and answer, at least he deserved that much after the love he had shown me. Then he asked 'do you wanna talk about it?' I almost laughed out loud, like seriously! Who wants to talk about their deepest shameful secret with‎ their husband? But do I have a choice? I didn't say anything, I just nodded my head. 

Then the questions started:
Have this happened before? Nod.
Since when? Since I knew myself.
Does anyone know about it? No.
So I am the only one? Nod‎.
What have you done about it? Everything I know.
Why didn't you tell me about it before now? Silence.

Now, how do I answer that? The questions were getting more and more painful but at least he let me keep a little pride by not forcing me to face him and look him in the eyes while answering. We were both lying down in the spoon position so I was backing him. Is this something you tell your boyfriend or hubby? How do you say it? 'Sweetie, there is something I have to tell you and I don't want you to feel shocked, uhm.... I bedwet sometimes, so don't be surprised if u sleep by me with dry pyjamas and wake up with wet pyjamas. Just see it like maybe rain fell overnight on one side of your clothes and the bed, just shrug it off and move on'. Is that how I will say it? 

Then he asked me one vital question: 'have you prayed about it?'‎ Seriously, I have never thought about prayer, I am a christian, yes. But my mind have never seen it from the spiritual angle. I pray about every other issue in my life but I have never even mentioned my deepest shame to God. I then asked hubby, 'does God answer those kind of prayers?' 'why not?' he answered; 'in as much your prayer is genuine and your heart is pure, God will answer'.‎ So that night, we knelt down and prayed together. That was the longest night of my life.

We kept at the prayers every night. Some nights, I will have that dream and bedwet again, and I will be depressed and almost lost hope but my husband kept encouraging me to keep praying and God will do it‎. That man is really my mate made from heaven, he is one of a kind. After like two months of prayer, the bedwetting just stopped and we didn't notice it again. I was the happiest woman on earth, I couldn't stop singing and dancing. My husband was so happy with me, we kept thanking God.

Like a year later, I took in and I didn't experienced the shame anymore‎. I gave birth to a beautiful girl and our joy knew no bounds. Around our girl's first year birthday, I slept one night, had that same dream and I soaked the whole bed with my urine. My husband and I were confused, why could this be? God doesn't do half and half work, why? Hubby asked me if there is someone or something I see in my dream before I feel that strong urge to urinate, I told him about the dream where I would be chatting with my mother and siblings and he asked 'that same dream everytime?' I said yes. He asked 'the same people and faces?' I said yes. He didn't say anything again but it made me start wondering, could my mum or any of my siblings be responsible for my predicament? I didn't want 

to believe it but I have heard cases of family being wicked spiritually to members of the same family. I told my husband my suspicions and he told he he had the same feelings too but he didn't know how I will take it. We started praying about it again but this time we changed our prayer points and asked God to expose the evil doer.
Maybe I was expecting it to happen like it does in those nollywood movies where after some intense prayers, the evil person will just confess openly and go mad, so I started calling my family more often, expecting to hear confessions‎. It never happened. I was back to square one, but this time, it's worse; I have a fast growing daughter, what if she notices and says it outside as children are known to just say anything that comes to their mind anywhere. I imagined different scenarios in my mind where I will just be hosting guests and my daughter will just walk in and say in those loud whispers that only children are good at 'mummy, there is weewee smelling on you and daddy's bed, do you people use to weewee on your bed in your sleep?' 

I will just die of shame! 

My shame went back to its normal routine of twice a month, I was constantly worried and sad. My husband was always trying to boost my morale and we still kept praying. But I won't lie to you, my faith wasn't strong at that point anymore. I was just clinging to my husband's faith.

I went back online to seek medical advice again. Still the same dos and don'ts. ‎I went back to setting alarms for midnight urination, I thought maybe my weight might be the cause of the recurrence as I have added weight since I gave birth; so I started diets and exercise to loose some weight. I stopped drinking water at night and I ate dinner early, but it still didn't stop. I would still experience it at least twice a month. I would hear my husband patting my side of the bed to check for urine whenever I wake up to pee in the midnight and my heart will crumble a little inside.I battled with this problem for another 2 years‎. 

Around the time our girl was 3 years, I decided to stop wearing diapers for her to sleep. I started teaching her how to wake up to pee at night. She sleeps in our room sometimes when she just wants to be cuddled, on one of such nights, I forgot to wake her up to pee. She prefers to sleep on her daddy's side for him to cuddle her, that night, she drenched the whole of herself and her dad in urine. Her dad woke me up, I carried her to her room to change her. Her dad followed us, shouting and berating the poor sleepy eyed girl, then he started beating her. 

My poor girl just stood there, taking the beating, crying, confused. She would try to run to me, her dad would drag her back and continue the beating. I couldn't take it anymore, I shouted at him to leave her be and I dragged her by force into my arms. My daughter was shaking profusely. 

My husband looked at me with so much disgust and said

'like mother like daughter! I am still managing with you soaking me with your stinking urine and now you want to force me to endure her own too? I will not let you destroy her life like you destroyed yours. Maybe if your parents had beaten you mercilessly when you started bedwetting, I wouldn't be here suffering for what I didn't cause!' 

He then stormed out of the room. I just stood there shocked to my bones. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me with my daughter in my arms. That night, I knew the true meaning of emotional pain. I couldn't sleep, I just sat down on a chair with my daughter curled up sleeping in my arms, staring at nothing. I sat there till morning‎, with my eyes wide open and my heart dying slowly.

My husband didn't sleep in our room after that night, he started sleeping in the guest room. He started snapping at every little thing, my home was gradually crumbling right before my eyes and I didn't know what to do. I endured his bad attitude for like a month because I know he has tried for me and he is only human, he had reached the end of his limit. 

It's rare to see any human endure what he has for me. Most men would have divorced me long ago. Then I stopped being quiet, when he snaps, I snapped back. When he gets angry and starts calling me names, I retaliated by saying 'I reject it' or 'it's not my portion'. I know I should have kept quiet and be gentle till the storm passed but I realized that with every abusive and derogatory remark he was throwing at me, I was dying inside, my self esteem and confidence was gradually dying. I realized I could become suicidal.

Anyone that is the last born in a house full‎ of siblings will know about being defensive, if you are not smart, you become prey to your older ones tricks and gimmicks. You are always handy for them to vent anger and frustration on, you have to learn to give it back to them anyway you can, and be sure to run far and fast from them till mum or dad is around; if not ehn, you are dead meat. So I decided to stand up to my husband as saliently as I could.

 One day, something insignificant sparked argument in the house and within a short time, it became a really heated quarrel since none of us was ready to back down. While I was busy mouthing my list of grievances against him, he just looked at me and said 'you are not even ashamed of yourself, instead of you to spend your time looking for solutions for your shameful disease, you are here quarreling with me'.

 I just crumbled, tears started falling from my eyes, they were running down my cheeks and I just kept staring at him, I still do not know who took the first step but before I knew it, we were in each others arms crying together and he kept saying 'baby I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please forgive me'. The thing is I am not big on outward tears, I could cry inside but something has to hurt me really deep before I would cry on the outside and my husband knows that. We settled our differences that night and my home was peaceful again.

After hubby slept that night, I took my bible, went into the guest room, knelt down and I prayed the deepest prayer of m‎y life. I prayed like Hannah did in Shiloh, I prayed like never before, my soul cried out unto my creator. And I made a vow that if God can remove shame and humiliation from my life, I will write the story of His greatness for the world to read. I opened my bible that night and God took me to the book of 2 Chronicles chapter 9. It was talking of how David's men were humiliated when David sent them to commiserate with the Ammonites over the death of their king. God showed me how to pray about my problem and defeat the Ammonites(people that caused me the shame) in my life. The next morning, I told hubby what I read, I have actually never read that chapter of the bible in my whole life and we agreed to have a seven days vigil with that bible chapter as our prayer point.

The following 7 days was the worst in my life, I bedwetted for almost every night of those seven days, but I didn't give u‎p, I held on to my faith and every night it happened, I will wake up and laugh, mocking the devil and praising God. My husband was surprised and he said he hasn't actually seen me have that kind of faith before. I smiled and said 'it is time for the devil to leave my life completely and never come back'. 

On the seventh day of the vigil, we just praised God because we knew He had answered our prayers. In my dream that night, myself and my mother and siblings quarrelled violently, we didn't even sit down to gist as we normally do.

 Everyone got angry and left in that dream, I still felt the urge to pee in the dream but I woke up like every normal and healthy human being, went into the toilet and urinated in real life. That was when I knew for sure that God had healed me. I was expecting a call of bad news in the morning but it never came. 

I am not still sure if my situation was physical or spiritual and I don't care, all I know is that God has healed my disease.

Please thank ‎God for me and I thank God for giving me my kind of husband. Though the going was rough, we had our ups and downs, but he stood by me and endured with me. Thank you hubby, I love you so much. 

Please post this story, I know it's long but it's a vow I made. Thank you.
Anonymous‎.

WOW!!!!