STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
FAHE LIFE TO GET A HUSBAND
Hi Stella,
I'm a young lady of 28 years currently studying for my masters. I also have a government job that I do.
My major problem is that I don't have suitors that are serious or I like, the ones I like want to be just friends with me or even they will ask me to find for them wife knowing fully well that I am single.
Most people attest that I am well behaved, some told me that I don't dress well. I changed my wardrobe as a result of that,But I feel empty with the whole human hair, makeup and so on as that is not the real me.
Bvs please try and advise me because I'm almost getting depressed. I just don't want to make a mistake in marriage.
If you catch a man with these make up and human hair and all the other fake stuff,what will happen when you take them off and have a bath?Please be yourself,you will get a man.stop being so desperate
Did I send this?
ReplyDelete@ POSTER, You have 72 years more to live on this earth and you are worried about a man? Is that your most pressing goal in your life right now?
DeleteLady, LIVE.....I say live,DISCOVER YOURSELF and be all you can be.There's still TIME for marriage and motherhood.
28 years old and you're panicking! Calm down darling. I was almost 32 when I got married. I've been married for almost 15 years now and I'm even grateful I didnt rush into marriage. Many of my colleagues and old classmates who wedded early are either, married and living single or out rightly separated/divorced.
DeleteI'm not a fashionista at all, I dress for comfort and my husband loves me exactly the way I am. In fact, he hardly praises my looks when I apply makeup and switch it up, it's when I have just woken up, bare faced with Mary Amaka hair that he will tell me so happily that I look beautiful.
What is yours will never pass you by unless you yourself mess it up. Stay calm and dont use other peoples clock to mark your own time.
Peace!
@ POSTER, You have 72 years more to live on this earth and you are worried about a man? Is that your most pressing goal in your life right now?
DeleteLady, LIVE.....I say live,DISCOVER YOURSELF and be all you can be.There's still TIME for marriage and motherhood.
Please be yourself and the right man will come.
DeletePoster I agree with Stella. It will shock you to know what trips men. Hence the saying there is someone for everyone. How can you be doing things that make you feel empty to attract a man? Even if you attract some, they would be the wrong kind. The only thing is be neat, and where good quality clothes and shoes. You can make natural hair styles you are fine with or even a neat low cut. Smell good, have a cool smile with good breath and take care of your skin. Then importantly work on your self esteem and confidence, which will affect your carriage. But most importantly have a wonderful relationship with your creator and be a good person. So you are beautiful inside and out. Pray to God for your heart's desire. It shall be well with you. Pls come and testify to your blog fam when God has done it ooo.
Delete@rockstar she asked for advise on how to get a man and not a debate of why you don’t need a man. Poster dont mind anybody that say you are young and you should not worry ur self. Everybody have what they want in life and you just said yours . Don’t mind them ,because a poster was lucky to get married at over 30 doesn’t mean all will. My own advise is that you try and follow the trend ,wear those fake hair and fake all that matters. , cos as long as I know it’s the looks of a food that attracts the eater ,before anything else. So first be attractive with the fake hair and nails ,get the man and make him realize that you have more that beauty to offer.
Delete28 is no kid
DeleteMen don't care about human hair. It's women who send hair
DeleteAnon18:46 stop fooling ur self and trying to deceive the poor hearted. Na akara hair style make okoya marry shade? Or na akara hair Beyoncé do way make jay marry her? You no see Kim that you all worship with extr eye lash? Is adesuwa carrying akara hair before banky marry her?its poor men that act like they don’t like those flashy stuff. Just because they are scared of buying it or complex issues.if you say men don’t care as you claim ,plz when a toaster comes girls should take off all the fake stuff and say I want to look natural for him , go and see how much money makeup artist make every weekend, fake hair sellers are cashing out in millions and your here saying what you don’t know.FYI I am a guy and I know for sure what I am saying.
DeleteWhen they ask you to look for wife tell them you're single and they should find husband for you. Don't be silent, some may be testing you but are afraid to ask you out because they think you're hitched.
DeletePoster this right here is the advice you shud follow, if this doesn’t work then it might be spiritual
DeleteDespirado.
ReplyDeleteBiko Calm down your own man will come.
Poster easy on yourself. Dont let anybody dictate how you should look. Only do it for yourself.
DeleteYou feel this way because you havent found yourself, when you do, you will feel whole within, and would be enough and would start being attractive on the outside.
DeleteSometimes its not about the look, but the confidence.
Be yourself and don't be desperate..
ReplyDeleteLook and smell fresh, go out more.
Exactly, and once she focus on other things, the right man will come. The problem is when you place too much attention on it.
DeleteMy dear.. Be natural the way you like yourself.. Man wey go like you go like you.
ReplyDeleteBesides its normal to be single, stigma no dey there.
Enjoy your life.🌻🌻
Take Stella's advice. Be yourself.
ReplyDeleteStay safe
My dear just be you, the God that created you us a man for you, that man who you’ll make heaven with and raise kids that will glorify his name. Take it to God and be you!!
ReplyDeleteDear poster,
ReplyDeleteOne thing you have to do for yourself is to be you.
Fake hair, brows/breasts, fake lashes/nyashes, fake lives
ReplyDeleteThese are not what dudes are looking for in a lady.
Besides, there may be a thousand dudes coming to grab you (some
of them are coming to grab you and chop and dump),🤢
but there is only one husband. Yes, God has just one husband
for you and when you you find that one, you have peace: peace that
the world (people) cannot understand.
I always encourage my sisi friends on this blog to seek God, seek Jesus
who gives that one husband that will give you peace and "do not fret for it
only leads to evil"Psalms 37:8.
Begin a walk with Jesus today by making him the Lord of your life. Begin to
study his teachings like a chapter of the new testament daily and have
days you separate yourself to fast and pray and seek him. Those things the world
run after (including husbands), you heavenly father knows that you need them.
Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all those things will be
added to you. 😘😘
God bless you.
DeleteBeing in a deep relationship with Christ dissolves all your fears and doubts and allows you to fully rely on God to give you everything you need. God always gives the absolute best!
First, you need to know your value. If you don't like makeup and extensions then don't do it for any man, it devalues you when you change your personality for attention. Be comfortable and confident with your style, men are attracted to confidence.
ReplyDeleteSecond..stop give these men way too much attention, they can smell your desperation a mile away. Change your aura around them, act uninterested even if you like them, pay them dust when they try to friendzone you. Have high value aura, men will sense that and act accordingly.
Finally, ask God for guidance on how to locate your very own. Keep yo head up, sis.
I agree with you Perxian men are like sharks they smell desperation from afar!!! Be careful and build yourself while you wait for your man!
Deletewas once like you,thought I had spiritual problems, at a point I didn't care anymore and lived my life and was happy, dearest meet me in my work clothes,no make up or human hair, tired and just coming back from court, and that sealed the deal, keep yourself happy and busy at all times,Mr.Right will spot you out easily, stop wearing yourself with worry, it never helps.
ReplyDeleteThey probably fell I are already engaged, too perfect or superficial. Be more simple and natural. Also church is one of the best places to find a good husband
ReplyDeleteYinmu. You can fine husband anywhere. Church is not even guaranteed..
DeleteFake ass everywhere.
I agree with all except church..You meet more of pretenders than real people..Just be yourself and be more outgoing...
DeleteChurch can be the very worst place to meet a husband. I can testify. You want a Godly Holy Spirit filled man. Stop being desperate and genuinely enjoy your life. I wish I could turn back the clock and be in your shoes.
DeletePoster be yourself,dress and always look clean,fresh and be confident in your self...your man will come,stop being desperate so you won't end up with the wrong guy
ReplyDeleteGo out more and enjoy your youth..weaves and make ups are just to enhance one beauty,it doesn't mean some men don't appreciate natural beauty!!
All the best to you
Most girls like you are single bcos of your poor communication skills. Your type seems like this
ReplyDeleteHi how are you doing today?
Response: fine
Wht did you do all day?
Response : nothing
Imporve your communication skill let them be able to see you as human not perfect, see you alive not bothered. Other ladies only communicate to their twitter or IG Family. No man wants replies like
K
Ya
Hmm
Smiles
Hmmmm
. We want response like
That's funny
I like that
Am laughing right now
Call me let's talk.
If you are free come let's go to church together
Don't respond like u are talking with your ancestors
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteThis comment sum up the lives of many ladies both here and out there.
DeleteThey can't have good conversation for ten minutes..
Improve yourself ladies.
Gbamest!
DeleteHmmm
DeleteYes ooo, school us sir 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
DeleteDon, take a cue from Mallam up there, a Man like you, See how he made so much sense yet you are here commenting rudely up and down. Mtcheewww
DeleteSweetheart, be yourself,since being artificial hasn't helped, be yourself,dress neat and smart,be polite.
ReplyDeleteYou will get a man with or without makeup. Just be neat and be you. Cheers
ReplyDeleteThe one who will love you as you are eventually will. Don't try to tweak your personality or likes to match anyone, else with time you won't even know your real self anymore. I actually think it's a good thing to always be yourself in whatever situation you find yourself because it helps you sieve out those who aren't right for you. There is someone for everyone and those men who aren't asking you out aren't for you. You have marriage in mind so please don't pretend to be who you are not, it's a facade that wont last long and that's fraud.
ReplyDeleteI also don't use make-up. I don't wear extensions(team-natural). I have never fixed nails all my life. I am as natural as it gets but I dress really well. You don't need all what you mentioned up there to be a good dresser. Just make sure you have a good taste when it comes to fashion or you let others you admire in that area help you out.
Know your body-type and what fits you. Learn how to mix and match colors, be eccletic. You don't need human hair and all that to look fabulous.
From a scale of 1-10 where do you fall? I hear most people complain the ones I love don't love me but the ones I don't love keep running after me. We need to have realistic expectations as well. Most times people pretend not to be vain but It's all pretense. They pretend to prefer personality over looks but it isn't always so. The guys you want, if they are an 8in all areas including looks will probably be swooning over a 10. You probably an 8 too being pursued by 4s and 5s whom you don't want. If you know you don't want to settle then you knew to be patient and stop thinking time isn't on your side. The kind of man you want, you got to work for it. Build yourself for now, spread your tentacles and work on yourself.
Do you have a beauty regime?
Exercise?
Take a critical look at yourself in the mirror. Do you need a Weight or a diet plan?
I am happy you are currently running your masters and building yourself professionally. Continue to work up the ladder.
How is your vocabulary? You speak well?enunciate words properly?
How is your carriage?
Do you have a social life?
Do you visit the dentist?
Most importantly how close to God are you? Have you told him all these you wrote her? Do you even have almost of what you want in a man in relation to the kind of person you are? His lifestyle? Beliefs? Values? Or you just want to be married to anybody? Are you a bore or friendly, rigid?
Not judging just asking you to self-evaluate all areas of your life.
Forgive any typos.
RonaldA don born pikin oo see epistle
DeleteForget the typos..You are spot on!!
DeleteAll these to land a man? And she lands him tomorrow and she will start insulting him and see finish will enter.
DeleteNo!
DeleteAll these to meet The kind of men feels she deserves? Yes! Read again? "The kind of men I don't want are coming for me?
People don't date out of pity and everyone wants the best for themselves. Make sure you are also the kind of person you feel you deserve and stop thinking anyone would settle.
I am here wondering where I went wrong in my advice to her. Did I encourage her to go for plastic surgery to have a fake posterior, bleach her skin and take breast enchantment pills? Did I tell her she was wrong to not want fake eyelashes and eyebrows? All these I wrote up there are things which should come naturally to anyone without been told whether you want a man or not. But because she was asking due to relationship reason, I advised her in reference to that.
Take good care of your self and be the best version of yourself based on the idea of the kind of man you feel you want or deserve. I only said all these based on how her story was framed. I believe her simplicity won't be a problem for the man who truly wants her but We don't know her and we can't truly be certain that's the only issue here, hence I analyzed it all for her.
So why complain on her behalf? You can also give your own piece of advice you know or take one or two lessons from what I wrote there?
Peace.
Thanks Phoenix😃.
Delete@Poster, You need to relax and be yourself. If you do not fancy human hair, make-up, et al, just ignore and dress well and neat.
ReplyDeleteTalking about guys asking you to find a wife material for them - just do the needful. Those guys do not see you as who they want to end up with, so relax and yours will locate you.
Many things may cross your mind but I advise you to be yourself, do not wear excessive human hair or make-up to attract a hubby or please people,JUST DRESS RESPONSIBLY and calm down.
You should keep being yourself, just be a better you. Be more outgoing & hold on to God. Yours will come.
ReplyDeleteYou have to relaxed about this so you dont fall into the wrong hands out of desperation. A man that wants and like you will come and your heart will also reveal you if he's the right man for you. Nothing is wrong with you. Go back to being yourself.
ReplyDeletebe yourself fake is difficult to maintain. Be patient for the man who will like you as you are
ReplyDeleteBe yourself.
ReplyDeleteBe clean (just saying).
Be personable.
Be confident.
Be the type of woman your dream man would also want.
Improve yourself, - physically
intellectually, socially and your personality.
Get a trusted male friend to give his candid opinion of you - strengths and weaknesses.
Be the best of your natural self you can be effortlessly.
SEE OR CALL A COUNSELOR FOR A TWO-WAY COMMUNICATION who will ask deeper questions that will unearth other issues if any.
Stop fretting over getting married.
It's a man that finds a wife not vice versa.
Be HAPPY - enjoy being single now.
Above all pray to God to direct the man that's right for you.
Jesus Christ! What sort of chronicle is this?? You don't want to make a mistake in marriage but nobody has asked to marry you though. Like I don't get?? Not like you have marriage options and you are trying to choose between more than one person oo, you don't even have option at all and you are changing wardrobe to look for man. Nawa ooo. Must you get married sef? If you are that desperate go and toast men nah. You are getting depressed because no man has come your way??? Did they spray something in the air in Nigeria that makes it mandatory for Nigerian women to get married? Like please somebody EXPLAIN to me what all this desperation and marriage focus is in Nigeria? You can live your life without a man please. Oxygen is free. If man comes they come. I am 38 years old, the last time a man said they were interested in me was 14 years ago or so and I don't even remember or care. When you are working or focused, these things would be the last thing on you mind. You better live your life.
ReplyDeleteSorry mam,simply because you chose to live a lonely life doesn't mean it's someone else's preference. Some people want a complete family with kids
Delete@liz.Pls,tell them!!!!....Not everyone likes being alone.Everybody got a choice,even God respects our choices.If you want to stay single until you're over 30yrs,& it makes you happy,so be it.But don't be envious or bitter of the ones that desire to get married in their 20's!!!...
DeleteStop consoling yourself...you are not happy at 38 and single. It is not in your hands cos if it was you would rather be married. Don't make poster feel stupid for desiring marriage. She is actually at the ideal age to start giving it much thought.
DeleteHonestly! I am tired of people shaming women for wanting marriage Like it's a bad thing. Nobody shames you for wanting to travel abroad, get a good degree, praying and hoping to become wealthy, desiring kids, wanting to build a house of your own etc. But when you yearn to build a home for your yourself and your future kids with a good man, snide remarks becomes the order of the day.
DeleteNot Everyone believes in premarital sex.
Not everyone wants to be an eunuch.
Not everyone wants kids out of wedlock.
Not everyone masturbates
Not everyone is asexual and aromantic.
Not everyone wants to be alone .
Even God said it's not good for a man to be alone(Gen2:18)and it's written two heads are better than one in the Bible ( eccl 4:9-12) right? So what the fuss?
Some people want companionship
Someone they would come home to, share their day with, laugh with and butt heads with, plan with and grow old with, someone to come into his/ her loving embrace after a stressful day. It's God who has put that desire in the heart of man so it is not a Nigerian woman thing its a worldwide thing.
Then if you are an exemption then you must be an outlier in this case.
Even as you aren't married you have friends from organisations you belong to. Be it friends from church, school, work, you aren't a loner in life right? Same with a having a family. A family is also a unit, an organisation on it's own which should encouraged.
Look up above into the sky and see for yourself...Even pigeons fly in twos.
Anon 16:27 May God provide you with a loving husband and a good home with lovely kids and all those who want and pray for the same gift in Jesus name Amen.
Wish I could like this 1001 times!
DeleteThumps up!
@Sabella
DeleteLouder so that people at the back will hear.
Wish I could like your comment 1001 times.
Thumbs up!
My dear, we are in the same WhatsApp group. But is just dat na unsuitable suitor dey rush me. I have been looking into God since 2018 since my end time bf left me. It's time for u to go on dating sites. It is time for u to open a Facebook account with nice profile pics. I bet u men will be chatting up and u will have d opportunity to screen gud ones and Stella. It is time for u to announce the new single and mingle edition. At least we are in self isolation period where work won't keep us busy to chat. Who knows maybe God may favour us amidst this pandemic.
ReplyDeleteLol, you just had to drag Stella into this... I couldn't help but laugh when I saw it... Nice
DeleteYou will certainly get someone who will accept and love you just the way you are. Be patient and be prayerful.
ReplyDeleteOnye mere umunnwanyi Afrikaa iha, all they live for na marriage ....tufiakwa!
ReplyDeleteMy hostel mistress in secondary was team natural.she was a chosen member,but, she always won best dressed for every year.its not about the fake lashes and hair,when you know one to put simple colours and patterns together and carry yourself like the queen that you are, you are good to go.dont mind people that keep saying you are desperate,there is nothing wrong with wanting companionship ok.just go back to being who you are the simple natural stylish you like my hostel mistress. you will find a man that will love you for alot of things but one of them being that you are simple and different😘😘😘😘.
ReplyDeleteStep up on your personal hygiene and confidence!that's all you need.
ReplyDeleteDifferent strokes for different folks. I discovered not too long ago that I'm better off without makeup, though I now take better care of my skin with good skincare products. I only use eyeliner and lipgloss when i feel like putting on anything and most guys that ask me out now are genuine men. If you are not comfortable with makeup, invest in good skin care products, I did not say bleaching o. However you need to get used to using good human hair/wigs cos it changes your looks, then always look neat.
ReplyDeleteSame here
DeleteChai. Sabella, you finished work here .Best comment �� ��. I hope poster sees �� it and all those who shame people who desire marriage �� for the right reasons.
ReplyDelete