Hmmmmmm......
ABOUT TO BE DISOWNED BY PARENTS
I am an extreme introvert. The type that can spend a whole year inside a room without feeling it as long as I have my necessities.
In March 2019 , my childhood friend dragged me out for a party and I met a guy there. It was like an electric shock because I have never felt that way before in my 24yrs on earth. He was all I ever wanted. I was happy living my fantasy life with joy. I am not so much of a talker so I told nobody.
Last week sunday, I was on a road trip with my mum and she started asking me personal questions. She got into me and I opened up about the guy to her. She asked me many things about him and I told her. She was like ok just be careful.
I came back on Wednesday night and was summoned by my dad and mum. My dad said my mum told him about someone I am seeing and that from all indications he will be a hindrance to my family's blessings so I must quit the relationship. I told them I don't understand they should explain more to me. My dad said his decision is final if I still want to be his child.
This is strange to me and I am confused. Being an introvert I see my parents as my mini gods. They are like all I have and I grew up trusting them with my life. Why won't they want me happy? They didn't give me any excuse why they don't want him because I asked.
He is 31 and I am 24. He earns 280k monthly. He has only two siblings and his parents though not rich still work. He's from my tribe. Has anyone gotten a warning like this from their parents before? I am losing my mind and on a crossroad of whether to obey them or ignore and continue my relationship.
*How will he hinder your family's blessings?Your papa waka go meet Pastor abi wetin? Has the man proposed to you that they are already ranting?Please make the decision that gives you peace....
I know people that their parents disowned because of love many years back but they always settle,especially when the children become successful........So,please follow your heart and work hard!!!
Your father definitely went to ask one pastor somewhere. The ignorance that still exists is just amazing. I even thought you were going to say maybe difference in tribe or all this outdated osu things. It's not easy to be disowned sha. Someone like me that values my mother's opinion more than anything. I hope you make the best decision for you
ReplyDeleteI really hate to read this kind of thing. I heard the worst when I wanted to marry. 3 or 4 pastors 'saw' my future. Nope. I didn't go to them, my mother did. I had nightmares, this set me back for years because the relationship was strained at a point.
DeleteThis was a trying period and I had other suitors. Just like you, it wasn't tribe, just these nonsensical revelations. I forged on and we eventually married after years of trying to persuade her.About 12 years later, I'm glad that I made the best decision of my life. I have no regrets whatsoever and will do it all over if I get another chance. And oh!, he's my mom's best friend now! So, my advice to you is pray to God and continue your journey. You are still young so you have the time to evaluate your relationship and know if he's the right one for you. Be careful not to be biased by your parents opinion of him. If he is, please marry him sharply. Goodluck.
Wow😲. Poster this people don use you do blood money o. Maybe that's why you are an extreme introvert. They raised you to trust only them and nobody else; that's why they are your everything. Please go for deliverance. You can't battle with this people with normal eye. What is your life like? Do you make progress when you work hard? If no, please stand up wherever you are and start running to church. Don't confront or quarell them. You have to be very wise about it. But make sure they hear you loud and clear in the spiritual realm so you can progress and be happy. Na u suppose disown this people not the other way round. Are you battling with any physical body setbacks? If yes, please and please start running to church. Wicked people everywhere. Smh
DeletePray
DeleteYou need to ask your parents more questions. If you are close to your mum, ask her and tell her to tell you more. They can't just come up with such flimsy excuses like that or are they ritualists? Did dey dedicate or betroth you to any god? They need to tell you how. What nonsense!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are not far from truth Modella
DeleteHonestly @Modelle, you just mirrored my though.
DeletePlease at Poster, this is not a to wallow in self pity.
Please open your mouth and ask questions, and then listen to their reasons for asking you to quit the relationship.
Because me I am not just not understanding.
Good luck and please update us.
This one pass me. Lemme read comments, I am also learning.
ReplyDeleteYour parents can never disown you. Stand your ground and tell them you can't end the relationship except if there's something else they said which you didn't write. To get a good man is not easy ooo. Before you know it you've clocked 30. Be wise
ReplyDeleteIt is rubbish like this that makes girls settle for any man just to become a Mrs. At the end, it will be suffering and smiling.
DeleteTHIS IS WHY SOME KIDS NEVER OPEN UP TO THEIR PARENTS. A LOT OF AFRICAN PARENTS ARE BAD PARENTS.
DeleteReal rubbish. How 30 take enter this matter now?
DeleteLol
DeleteWell, what you did not tell us is your parent's spiritual identity. Yes, it looks like there is a seance/medium in the horizon or background.
ReplyDeleteA lot of people turn to mediums to find things but Satan; the god of the mediums does not and will never support marriage. He comes to kill, steal and destroy but Jesus has come to give you life in abundance; John 10:10
If you know Jesus, you will cope knowing that you have a father in heaven who does not leave no forsake.
YOu can still talk to him and begin reading his teachings in the New Testament, right there on your phone.
Be calm and patient. 😘😘😘
All the primitive parents.
ReplyDeleteWhat are you doing, are you still a student or working ?
Once my daughter is 26, I'm asking her borthday to come home with her friend. I will educate them.
I no fit born joneser in this life.
You didn't need to insult the parents to make your point
DeleteWhere's the insult ?
DeleteAre they not acting in a primitive way ?
When did primitive become an insult ? I hope all is well with you ?
Don you really need to learn to be civil.
DeleteYou cannot be throwing tantrums like an infant .
@Don
DeleteSo "primitive" is a blessing word?
If someone else called you that, you will raise
all dust more than harmattan.
Whether they met a "pastor" or a "prophet" all na mediums. And na scatter, scatter them dey for.
ReplyDeleteEven God did not tell Adam who Eve was, Adam identified that himself.
Go back to your Mum and ask her the reason why your dad said all that. She started the in-house gossip.
ReplyDeleteMaybe they have asked questions since he is from same tribe as yours and found out unacceptable issues.
Poster, I think you should ask your mom some deep questions, maybe she will open up to you..
ReplyDeleteSit your dad down and ask how it S going to ruin your family blessing. Does he know him before? Did he consult an Oracle, is he a seer?
ReplyDeleteAsk your mum the reason behind this as she was the one that carried the matter to your father. Has the guy even proposed? You were even too early to gist your mum. In all, take it to God in prayers.
You must have told your mom detailed information about this guy, enough for your parents to go inquiring. You need to go back and have a talk with your mom to know what exactly they found out.
ReplyDeleteI think you should slow your roll cos you are head over heel infatuated with this guy and that could be your undoing. Do you even know this guy well? his background? etc.
You seem to have a good relationship with your parents and completely trust them so please talk to them before making any rash decision. You can even make them see he is good for you with time.
No man is worth being disowned by good parents. xx
Please meet your mum and ask her questions..This is no time to be hysterical...Recall all the decisions you had with her and ask yourself pertinent questions based on what you discussed and decide what your decision will be and please this is not the time to do AGIDI but be very calm and keep praying..The truth is you own the yam and knife, the decision is yours.
DeleteSecondly has this guy proposed to you yet? If not hold on, this is not the time to fight..Are you really sure about this guy please do your homework well cos most men are real AUDIO.. You my dear are you mature mentally, emotionally and financially...Are you working or have a business? Did you go to school?? My dear once your parents see that you are very ready, your father will invite that man..Just be careful..Our parents mean well for us but we don't always see it until later..Never ever fight your parents inugo..All the best..
Manipulation as usual typical of Narc parents. It's up to you, if They have another reason I would have supported them but they want to cage you
ReplyDeleteYou know this
DeleteDear poster.
ReplyDeleteTalk to your mummy or approach them to ask why you should quit?? Not in a confronting manner but act curious and turn it gist like.
And most importantly pray about it
It’s because they are still giving you money for food abi you’re under their roof.Im sorry but no parent can dictate who I marry to me.
ReplyDeleteit's either there's more you're not telling us or your mum added maggi and salt to what you told her about the guy. Whatever it is calm down before taking any major decision concerning the matter. Sometimes too what an elder sees while sitting,a young person might not see even if he/her is standing on a pole
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing you will your parents that will change their mind. Pray about it yourself in the meantime tell them you have broken up with him and keep the relationship secret.
ReplyDeleteOnly God can save her. That family is bad. She needs prayers
DeleteAaaaah, you just quickly concluded that the family is bad, that is not cool IMO!
DeleteI think this is the time for the poster to ask questions and listen to their reasons for suggesting that she quit the relationship.
Someone has definitely asked for your hand in marriage without your consent and thyt have agreed.
ReplyDeletehow clean is your father's hands, maybe marrying the guy could break the covenant he had, maybe that is why he said it will be a hindrance to family blessings
ReplyDeleteYou have a point
DeleteYour parents don't love you because if they do, they will tell you why they made that decisions. Or is your father an army officer that is word is final.
ReplyDeleteCall your mum and let her tell you. I hate when they tell you the problems but no solutions but this one nothing.
God Almighty told the Israelites that they should not mingle with so so people and gave them reason why.
Your dad na okpo
Blog insult didn't do you, you had to extend it to someone's parents at home. Who raised you?
DeleteYori yori u dnt hv manners
DeleteKaaai!
DeleteEasy with the insults madame saint!
All the advice to go and check is good. And you are an adult let them come clean tell you what it is.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I hope your parents don't have someone their thinking to match make you with. That's what came to my mind. Let is know how it goes.
Pls pray for wisdom and fot God to unravel what this is.
Is it just the guy’s age, job and where he is from u told ur mum and all these happened? U must have told her something else.. anyway pls fam, has anyone being told by a pastor or prophet not to marry someone , how did it turn out if u went ahead
ReplyDeleteHow can your dad tell you to disassociate with someone without giving you reasons, rather they threaten you with disowning. There's more to this
ReplyDeleteI believe your mum is due for some questioning from you. You're an adult, a full human being with rights, the least you deserve from your parents who claim to love you, is valid reasons. #cheers boo.
Poster sit your parents down and tell them to be real with you about you disassociating from the guy
ReplyDeleteI was even thinking maybe you two are somehow related by blood or something! You need to know their reasons for this decision of theirs(valid) ones,if not just maintain it but be on a low-key and don't discuss with anyone
Like your DNA will change if they disown (these parents sef)
Pray to God to reveal the guy to you,very important! All the best
My own is,if your dad is not giving or telling what you really need to know about the guy, then he has no point.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why your mom didn't tell you anything but your father did. Something is not right.
Continue the relationship .
ReplyDeleteIf it breaks well then you will get an experience.
Just becareful watchful
Zip your mouth henceforth.
Since you know your family background
My dear poster,continue with that relationship if it makes you happy,tell your parent you guys have broken up.Thats all
ReplyDeleteEnter your comment...the same way my inlaw told my wife that our marriage won't work cos we won't have money and we would suffer.yes,we suffered for good five years but immediately we about to clock 6.massive doors opened.
ReplyDeletewe bless God for what he has done so far.
Most of this prophets dont see far.
DeleteHas the guy proposed to you? I'm guessing not. So don't go fighting your parents.
ReplyDeleteAsk your mother and father more questions. Appeal to their sense of reasoning.
If they still remain stubborn, shut your mouth and continue your relationship.
When he has proposed and you are absolutely sure he's the one, inform your parents. If they still remain stubborn, involve mature people they respect. If the worst happens, then you have to make the decision that would make you happy in the long run. They will have no choice but to come around even if it's years later.
I would suggest poster should follow her heart,I was a victim of my mum’s manipulation which seems like the poster’s case and 22years down the line,I regret not marrying the particular man even though he was willing to marry me,in my second marriage now without children yet at 44,I wished I had been like my childhood friend who went ahead to marry her own man,she’s had all her children who are in higher institutions,successful business and has built housed and I’m still struggling.
ReplyDeleteOh dear ðŸ˜!
DeleteThis your comment just left me feeling sad.
May God please come through to you.
PS.
Please don't ever compare yourself with anyone, you might be age mates with your friends, but are you grace mates?
I bet that some of your friends are no longer alive but you, you are alive and by the grace of God, you will do great explores, just continue being progressive minded.
Good luck and lots of hugs and lo❤ from me.
You are not a kid and God also lives in you. If your parents want you to stay away from the guy, they must sell their idea like they are talking to an adult, not a 5 year old. Tell your mum you need clear and laid out reasons and at this point, what they offer is ADVICE AND NOT COMMANDS.
ReplyDeleteYou are the one that can best evaluate your relationship because not every one leads to marriage and among the ones that do, there is also divorce. Study this guy objectively and especially because you are quite socially naive, close your legs completely to avoid season film chronicles. Is there a spare tyre? Is he dating you back? Does his version of the future match yours?
Let your mum know that you're disappointed she couldn't come and explain things to you herself and had to bring your dad in to manipulate you using threats and force- even if they're a couple, that is still betrayal of trust. Let her know guards will be going up in some areas of your life since she couldn't value your trust. That would make her sit up. Don't be emotional or passionate about these discussions with them so they don't have an excuse to call you ride and try to railroad their ideas. Tap into your introverted self. Be calm, hold a steady voice, use few words. Don't show anger, sorrow or fear.
Life is a gamble and I'm sure just as your judgement isn't perfect, you're old enough to know that your parents' judgment is also imperfect.
Generational curses,there are parents who dont want their children to be married for reasons best known to them.
ReplyDelete@Poster, I do not think any pastor told your Dad/Mom anything rather I think there is more to the questions your Mom asked you and then your Dad's ranting.
ReplyDeleteYour parents may be serving other gods and not open-minded, thus they refuse to tell you why your new friend would prevent their successes/blessing. I advice you to seek God and be a true worshiper, He is your ONLY Saviour at this time. You need a lot of spiritual readiness for what awaits you. DO NOT FIGHT YOUR PARENTS WITH WORDS OR PHYSICALLY. Start the fight spiritually so that your victory can manifest in the physical. You will know when you are ready to confront their evil ways or whatever they have done in the past. All the best.
Have read this story before...
ReplyDeleteKeep the relationship on a low key. Tell your parents you are just friends with him and see how things turns out in the future
ReplyDeletePlease find out from your mum why you can't continue with the guy. I'm afraid that there is more to it. But her response will give you clue of why they took that decision. If her explanation is not convincing, then you need to be calm and pray. No tears just talk to God to liberate you from every covenant entered on your behalf. Praaaaaaay
ReplyDeleteShe has been used for rituals,as long as she stays unmarried money is gonna keep flowing in the family.Dear poster,you need to move closer to God and be a radical for Christ oo.Fast and pray
ReplyDeletePoster same way my parents disapproved on my sister getting married to her husband. 10 years on they finally accepted and they are controlling my own life. Do what your heart says.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what an ex made me to understand recently. But used the issue of an ex I didn't let him in the know of to break up with me back then.
ReplyDeleteStill single though, with a child. But I'm married. We fitted perfectly. Now I'm content where I am and happy too.
This is exactly what an ex made me to understand recently. But used the issue of an ex I didn't let him in the know of to break up with me back then.
ReplyDeleteStill single though, with a child. But I'm married. We fitted perfectly. Now I'm content where I am and happy too.
Don't even let them know you both 're still seeing.continue with the relationship and zip your mouth.Tell them you have left him.Simple
ReplyDelete