STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SIDE CHICK LOADING OR NOT?
Good day blog family .....
Please advise me on what to do on this issue; aside from where we're living, there's another house my husband built that we rented out, has a factory in the area as well and just started building another one close to the house.
So a lady just moved in to the mini flat there and I just saw her conversation with my husband, she said they killed a snake inside her room and from there come see as then dey flow as if say they don know each other for long.
She told my husband her man friend stays in Lagos and he's married with 4 girls, then my husband advised her to give him a boy and even told him to do registry with her, (the registry he refused to do with me o) so that she can gain ground with the man.
Our marriage is not up to a year, we're young couple, he's not aware I know his code, so I don't want him to know I read his messages.
They now chat every now and then and I'm afraid of this their closeness, please I never enjoyed my marriage at all, what can I do? Now he's deleting their conversations. The lady was even telling him not to sleep when he told her he wants to sleep yesterday, but my husband just replied "lol"
I'm not saying he shouldn't do all he likes, but it's too early in the marriage, please my people, tell me how to be strong.....
They now chat every now and then and I'm afraid of this their closeness, please I never enjoyed my marriage at all, what can I do? Now he's deleting their conversations. The lady was even telling him not to sleep when he told her he wants to sleep yesterday, but my husband just replied "lol"
I'm not saying he shouldn't do all he likes, but it's too early in the marriage, please my people, tell me how to be strong.....
*Mrs Snooper,tell you how to be strong how?Every snooper must be prepared for the worst....from the chats,you have seen that you married a a player..Advising someone to use registry to hook someone when he did not allow you hook him....Na wah..
She will soon switch from the other man to your man.......
What i think you should do?Discuss the chats with him,and have him change password or keep quiet and continue reading and keeping tabs on when they will start their romance
I'll wait for comments especially from the snoopers 😷
ReplyDeleteHey poster, that woman is trying to find her way into your husband's arms. They are both catching feelings and you are reading chats, crying and keeping quiet. Very soon you will start watching war room and drinking coconut oil. What are you keeping quiet for? Is it not better you confront him? At least there should be a boundary. For a lady like that that has a man friend with four girls to be chating with your husband everyday and discussing personal matters with him, wahala dey o. Your husband might just be playing along but he should at least use his head before the lady trap him. See the stupid advise he is even giving her. Mtchewww.... The both of them fit each other. Did you say your marriage is not up to a year? Lord have mercy.
DeleteYour husband na malr olosho
DeleteLol ....if you no get mind dont snoop.
DeleteI snooped and saved screenshots which I shared with my siblings
I tried the conversation part as a well brought up butty kid lmaaao but I was dealing with a street dude whose largest desire in life was to bury his pole in every available hole.
E no work raaraa.
Some of these guys are vursed... you have nothing your wife supports you and loves you.
You share your cash to every available hole to the detriment of your immediate family
You have no rood over your head no landed property anywhere nothing and yet you dole cash out on a weekly? Do you have psychological issues?
Are you mad ? Emere gi eme? Are you cursed?
I'm got a bun in the oven and I'm planning my exit.
Better I leave than stay married to Eze umu efulefu!
Eze ndi ala
Thats how they will go and bring problems to their families, abeg address him fast, let him know you will not take that disrespect for a second
DeleteI've read this before, not sure if it was a chronicle, think it was a comment.
ReplyDeletePoster, you should be worried! Not just about his closeness with the said lady because, from your chronicle that should be the least of your problems but the mentality/mindset of your husband is the major issue.
DeleteFor a newly married man to be advising a side chick on how to trap another family man in such a devious manner, tells a lot about the kind of man you are married to. Your husband has a polygamous mindset and, if you don't give him a son as a first child, your marriage would be in turmoil!
Infact even if you give him 10 sons, he would still keep women out there and maybe marry one of them...
@Mama Mia... of course he will cheat no matter what! That’s why the ‘smart’ man refused to do court marriage! Onye oké sense!
DeletePoster your two legs are not steady in that man’s house and he’s not to be trusted.
This one you’re asking how to be strong, that means this your marriage is ‘we die here’ type. You are afraid to ask him that means you know you have no say in your husband’s house.
Well, make sure you collect plenty money from him, grow your business/career and look the other way whenever he cheats. If you can, coerce him into a court marriage... but from your story I doubt your ability to do that.
This one serious oh.
ReplyDeleteWhat are you saying? What kind of man did you marry?
DeleteAbeg young ladies, if a man is still talking about Privacy before you get married you better check that.
What do you mean by he isnt aware you know his password , innukwa.
Your hubby sounds irresponsible having such useless conversations, he is doing bestie goals with an irresponsible girl, what makes you think they will not have sex? keep asking jamb questions about a girl who lacks morals
Let me tell you something, whatever you dont address in time with a man, just know that thing will continue for life.
Hmmm...umu nwoke!
ReplyDeleteAnd d loose girl keeping man friend that is married n hitting on another.
Make she enjoy, she will remain young forever.
They no de use ear hear landlord. The mumu don't want to keep paying rent. Lol my landlady told her husband for peace to reign she will be in charge of people that comes into the houses he built. You get complain go to caretaker or her directly.
DeleteI will come back to read comments from experienced married women here. I'm newly married myself and I've got no advice to render.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to tell you.
ReplyDeleteYou have snooped, you have gotten what you want, now use it.
You have married a man you can not have conversations with, that's what I see here.
That's what you get when you marry for money but not love. It's hard for you to talk when your supposed to
Oh shut it!!! Like how do you know she married for money and not love??
DeleteGbam
DeleteDon just hit the nail on the head. You can't have a conversation with your newly wedded husband?
DeleteAnonymous 15.37 welcome o poster. I said what I said.
DeleteAnd I said what I said too! Shut it. You wish I was the poster. Tschuss
DeleteJust jokingly drop your findings on him ,he will get the message but will definitely change his code ,if you want to read more stay calm ,but if you must snoop ,you must be emotionally stable and strong!!
DeleteSome of you women are something else. I don't see anything flirty at all,normal friendship. Confront your husband if you feel uncomfortable.
ReplyDelete👓 may help you see better.
DeleteI guess her worry is the kinda man she is perceiving her husband to be , due to the kind of advise he is giving to the young lady ,
DeleteA married man that is advising a single girl to trap another man is a high risk.
However dear poster , if you don't feel good you should talk to your husband about it yes he would be mad that you read his messages et all ,but if yall handle this as a couple willing to stay together in peace love and harmony it would be curbed.
A woman instinct is never wrong. I mean never ever. Once it comes to mind, do ur research it is happening
DeleteThis is a brand new one, freshly baked and too hot for the tongue, Lmao.
ReplyDeleteI think u need to be careful with your emotions, don't kill yourself before your time. As much as it is right to protect what belongs to u, it is wrong to go to d extent of reading your man's chat. It is a matter of time before emotions spill and let him know that u have been reading his private conversation when he denies something he has done. Believe me, from that point, everything about your marriage will not be d same again. He will start feeling uncomfortable at home. I don't know what u should do but i know what u shouldn't do & that is reading your man's chat secretly. It will always break ur heart.
Either you choose to ignore and watch the affair play out or confront your husband on your findings and say bye bye to your snooping privilege.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is up to no good either way, encouraging adultery and child out of wedlock. You should be worried. 🤷🏻♀️
I guess you are from the left side of the Nigerian map. Correct me if I am wrong.
ReplyDeleteThose your men are good at having satellite houses where they breed kids. And I am not
surprised that he refused to legalize your marriage.
You have to cope and ask him questions
‘I am not saying he should not do as he likes, but it is too early in the marriage ’. This makes me so sad for you. Women, you deserve fidelity. NO HUSBAND should do as HE LIKES! No WIFE should do as SHE LIKEs! You both owe each other fidelity!
ReplyDeleteThank you! Few months in and you've given up on respect and loyalty so what's left? Even befor the marriage, you have up your sense of security by settling for moving in without a wedding certificate which you most desire. So what leverage do you have?
DeleteFrom the first paragraph where she listed building and factory and another building with Delilah as a tenant, I knew this is the "hammer by marriage" and "I must marry this year" complex. This much headache at the beginning. Hmm...
Thank you!
DeleteThank you for this
Delete@ WOMEN YOU DESERVE FIDELITY..
This should be a whole sermon!!!
Oh, i dint even read that place, and look at me advicing her to confront him. Ewo o... Aunty just drink coconut oil, you will be fine🤣
DeletePele in advance
ReplyDeleteThat's all I can say. You women who move in with a man when he has not properly married you, una dey try o. Those who have done everything are having issues not to talk of those who did not.
Poster, sorry to say this but if he didn't marry you traditionally, he is NOT your husband.
That does not mean what he's doing is right. I think you better confront him now and know where you stand instead of keeping things bottled up until yawa gas and he tells you she's pregnant for him. I know a lady who spent years with the man and gave birth to children only for him to come back home one day and inform her he has married another woman in court.
Also, don't even confront the lady. It obvious she has no respect for marriage as she's dating a married man, so don't even think she's considering you. Face the man
What is this one saying ? You that they married properly what came of it? Traditional marriage or not, what difference does it make? He should be committed to her and there's absolutely no moral standing for a man to cheat on his wife. Ndi Mrs Traditional Marriage.
DeleteAnon 16:17 continue! Ndi I must marry, please wait till a man marries you properly (trad & registry). That way, the law protects you better.
DeleteWhy don't you have his code?
ReplyDeleteFor my kind of person honestly I will confront him.
If I do it goes well.
There will be distance,
I am Speaking from my own kind of spouse.
I don't know about your's.
I don't know how to keep from my hubby if I am hurt.
"I'm not saying he shouldn't do all he likes, but it's too early in the marriage "
ReplyDelete😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮
Wawu! Na so my sisis dey see marriage? This one na mirage o. So when it is no longer
"too early in the marriage" dude can do as he likes...he fit bring in side tolotolo
to your matrimonial bed and collect forks and fill their tummies with babies?
Okwa ajuju o. 🤷🏻♀️
He fit fill all the sisi tummies in his houses and on your street with babies?
Yes na, he should do as he likes?
Madam, you know eh, na as you spread ya (marriage) mat, na so you dey lie for am now.
I don't know what you saw (money or whatever) that made you throw away your dignity as
a lady and allow yourself to be take for a ride (in a wheel barrow).
Chai, make you dey ride am so o. If you want advice, make you reboot your marriage and define
what you can't take. And what you won't give too. The Bible contains what "love and marriage" are
inugo?😮😮😮
For once i agree with you.
Deletei see a cordial relationship between your husband and the lady. What i find wrong is he telling her to hook another man's husbands. All the same,he needs to curtail chating with her cos na from step e dey take enter dance
ReplyDeleteDo not confront your husband yet...Try to bring up talk concerning the lady to know if he's hiding their friendship and keep watching till you get a tangible information
ReplyDeleteConfront him poster and with the type of advice, your husband gave that lady you are in for it. Pray, they don't hatch that advice on you.
ReplyDeleteLol madam you can first change his code to your desired one you have in mind. Keep the babe number aside, maybe she doesn't know he is married.
ReplyDeleteThen form one tech witch and say you can get any password he tries to change to. Lol then you discuss his bad character of chatting so smoothly with people which can mean leading on. My sister abeg first add your fingerprint to his phone in case he lock you out. But seriously you already have something in your mind, so that marriage won't remain the same o. I really don't even know what I typed sef. Chai
😭😂😭@ add finger print
DeleteStella has said it all. Confront your husband or keep dying in silence.
ReplyDeletePersonally i dont like my husband to be too close to another woman. But i try not to snoop on him cos i dont want to know what will give me sleepless night and murder thoughts. Woman, stop snooping and try to trust your husband you are still young in the marriage. But disturb him until he takes you to the registry.
ReplyDeleteDo you have your own house? Business? Job? That is where I'd like to direct my advice so that you are not left holding your 👂 s at the end of this situation you are in.
ReplyDeleteYou want a registry wedding (the most important for a woman in a relationship) and you don't have one- how did that happen? Is it not when a man has fulfilled all obligations to a woman and her family that he can say he is married? Where is the receipt for yam and echolac box and how does that protect you as a woman? But I am sure you did that one and bought the people who would tell you "endure, submit, forgive" whiskey and dry gin. Or did you just move in, waiting for common law to kick in? The foundation is shaky and you ignored the important things so now, you'll worry about everything.
You have invested so much time investigating a man that is not invested in you. You cannot make demands of him. He is uninterested in putting your mind at rest as per your being married legally and you're worried about him sleeping with a woman who is sleeping with a married man even after 4 kids? This issue is as sure as the sun. Your focus should be on using your tongue to count your teeth and know where your stomach is facing, not about how a guy that you can't afford to lose because of what he has.
Spend the next few weeks building yourself and saving. Plan how to go into profitable business so you can begin to own things in your name. This is not so he can repent or love you but so that you can begin to respect and value yourself and really weight the value he adds to your life and what you even want out of life.
Start how you want to finish BVs. If you're going into a situation where all your society is telling you is submit, forgive, pray, olive oil and war room, secure your own bag and ensure you have access to his. Even slaves get fed and dogs too. If this woman had a shop in Oyingbo, would she have time to snoop? If she was running her own buka or online shop, would she live with a man who is refusing to marry her rightly? Even if she does, she would afford to live after her brain reboots.
God has revealed things to you early so you can use your head in your marriage.
ReplyDeleteDon't rush to confront him yet, still observe and copy the chats somewhere if you can.
Now you know the kind of mindset your hub has, and know he is not the kind you man you sacrifice for.
Please ensure
1. Your names are included on his properties before una start fight. Ensure you are next of kin etc.
2. Keep convincing him to do registry wedding, don't take it for granted at all. Your husband knows the importance and wants to deny you of it.
3. Bear in mind that they are already having an affair, the girl wants to live rent free, to avoid this, can you convince your husband to make you his biz partner. Put your eyes in his biz well. If possible, be the one collecting rent for that flat.
4. Your hub is not the kind and of man you tiptoe around if not he will press you very well, be vocal, very vocal with him from this early stage,else sorry na your name.
5.If he tries to stop you from wedding court wedding, then lay the evidence of his convo with the babe and accuse of of misogyny.
The power of information is when it's used at the right time.
Retired Slay Queen
A man that won't wed you legally won't have your name on any properties- that is what he is trying to avoid. Poster, you have hitched yourself to the trailer of a wicked and selfish man. Have it in mind that the girl next door would be paying her rent in kind and have plans for yourself. You didn't put yourself first in this arrangement so just choo your L and plan forward. Get your family to put pressure for a registry wedding. Close your legs. You have done enough hooking. Getting pregnant now would hook YOU and not him.
DeleteThe self esteem issues... I don't mind him cheating but not now... I want a registry wedding but moved in with my legs wide when I didn't get it... I will leave that for Ronalda.
You see what I'm talking about. All your advice is around property, same reason she married a man she cant have a conversation with, probably because of money.
DeleteInstead of you to advice her to build herself, you're telling her how her name should be put on property that she came to meet, that she didn't contribute a dime to and how to become the next of kin.
Most of you married and are marrying for what you can get, not for love and when you get into the marriage you become so desperate.
Yes Don, I will advise the girl to use her head and get what she can, because apparently the man wants a wife for only child bearing.
DeleteAs for building herself, that goes without saying.
How many men are marrying for love?
If she likes, she should play the quiet, meek wife until the man tricks her into bearing children without wedding her legally.
Men like her husband are very cunning, see how he is encouraging infidelity and asking a girl to get pregnant for a married man to gain ground.
That tells you the kind of man he is, you have to deal with him at his level, if not na OYO be your case.
If I marry a man that cannot make me NOK, then of what benefit is he to me?
We go give una any leg wey una give us.
Retired Slay Queen
Confront your husband and go warn her.What Rubbish
ReplyDeleteWarn her for what ?
DeletePlease I will advice you do not spoil your snooping so early because more may still be on the way.I said more because of the little you have said about your hubby.
ReplyDeleteFor me I don't really see this as cheating already,yea .I think the said lady is trying to push forward, don't think they have anything going btw them now.So pls don't confront him cos it's too early and you will block your chances of seeing more and your hubby may start distancing himself from you which makes most men finds comfort in the hands of another.He has done nothing serious pls.
My 2cents
Bad advice from Lily Ambrose 👆, poster do not wait until he falls in love with her. Confront him NOW.
DeleteDear poster, if you reside in Abeokuta, just know your husband is a "goner". Snatching of people's husband with juju is a child's play in that place O. Keeping quiet will only make this matter worse. May God help U.
ReplyDeleteHe’s encouraging the woman to trap another man with a male child and registry marriage. Encouraging friendships and conversations even though he’s more powerful as the landlord. It’s natural not to be fond of that woman but trust me, your husband is the problem here. And he will always be. If it’s not her today it will be many other women out there tomorrow. Which is why they say face the husband and not the mistress. All the best sis. Get your legal marriage and find your voice for your own good. He seems like a cruel, selfish man. If he sees one male child as better than four female children, imagine how he sees you and all other women. Keep your money separate and take care of yourself. Test regularly and have a back up plan. Keep records of these things and be honest with yourself
ReplyDeleteWatch war room, drink coconut oil and watch God fight your battle.
ReplyDeleteMadame wife you are jobless, picking up anybody phone to scroll through the messages, rings insecurity,and trust me men can sniff out an insecured woman a mile way, ignore and make the best out of your life, Las Las the sweetest revenge is being successful.
ReplyDeleteit's too late. Confront your husband and kill this now it's still at the early stage. Don't waot any longer beforw your husbands fall yakaka for her. Stop it now.
ReplyDeleteIt is well with you. I saw a chat on my husbands phone saying hello to a lady I dont know on WhatsApp. I confronted him on who she was ,he couldn't explain. What happened is better imagined than experienced. I even got a lawyer to file for divorce. He almost died that period. I told him to go and be chatting. If not for the lawyer and family interference and the fact that he swore that if he has ever cheated on me let him not see the end of that year. So I waited till the end of that year and since he did not die,I decided to forgive him! Let me catch him chatting again and he will see pepper!
ReplyDeleteHehehe he he😆😆😆😆😆😆
Delete😂😆🤣
DeleteShakara! Though I dont support cheating, the day my wife threatens me with divorce cos I said hello to a lady on WhatsApp, I will tell her to go ahead and even offer to pay the lawyer's fees as well as be ready to give her 50% of the properties I singularly built/purchased. What rubbish? She is not ready for marriage. No woman/wife can threaten me.
DeleteThat can only happen when the woman is feeding the man.nigerian women have been known to endure whatever happens in marriage as long as the money continues to roll in.if I’m paying your bills and taking care of you,you think I will beg you if you file for divorce cos I said hello to a woman?haha bye bye to jati jati
DeleteYour husband indeed! If all marriage rite is not complete, then you never marry. I dey vex for you jare
ReplyDeleteNawa ooo. It's too early for that in this marriage. Poster have a heart to heart talk with him. He hasn't gone far with the lady. Just be diplomatic in handling the situation. May God help you.
ReplyDeleteNawa.
ReplyDelete