STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
LITERATE HUSBAND VERSUS ILLITERATE WIFE
Stella,
love from Ghana. I Am the lady who wrote asking for advice on choosing a boyfriend.
There’s a family issue ongoing as at now and we need advice from people not soo close on how to solve this issue.
My mum’s direct younger sister who has being married for over 25 years left her husbands home and refused to return. She left her matrimonial home two years ago, rented a single room and is staying in.
She and her husband own a very big school which has being running for over 20 years. The school starts from nursery to junior high. Of which the junior high is boarding for final year students.
The issue is my Aunt is saying that the man doesn’t respect her and speak well to her and my aunt also has anger issues. My auntie completed Junior high school and never went back to school, but started the school they have under a tree and when the school was growing big she and the man started managing the school together. Her husband now has a masters degree and my Aunty still has a junior high school certificate.
We just don’t know what to do as a family at this point. She hasn’t said she wants a divorce and she has also refused to return to her husband's house. What do we do as a family to assist her out of this situation. The husband is a deeper life pastor and still asking her back to their house they built but for two years now she has being living in a rented single room apartment.
We also do not know if her husband is trying to fool her because he handles all their finances because she is not so educated. She doesn’t even know how much they have together in their account from the school they run. She even said the man said he doesn’t have money and borrowed her 10,000ghc which was money she raised from selling things in the school.
The school is fenced and she has monopolized the sale of things, as in she sells everything in the school herself so she makes her own money from there. She said he borrowed her 10,000 which is 500,000naira to add to buy their car which cost 3million Naira. I think that for such a big school which they have the man shouldn’t even say he doesn’t have money or borrow from my aunt again when he handles all the school fees of the pupils in their school.
I feel like he’s taking my aunt for a fool just because she hasn’t gone higher in
Education. Please bvs what do u suggest my aunt should do. Stella abeg advice with ur red pen. I think that they are financially ok but the man is hiding certain things and not treating her well by not disclosing how much money they have made together from running their school.
Please bvs advice us on how to help our Auntie.
I don't really understand what the problem is..............
Why don't you hold a meeting between both or meet with your Aunt and have a deep talk to find out why she will not go back..Person no dey run without shoes for afternoon when nothing dey pursue am..
There is more to this story.
Illiterate persons runs business perfectly. It is never too late for her to gao back to school
ReplyDeleteFirst and foremost,10,000 Ghana cedis is 1.3 million naira
DeleteSecondly, get elders in your family to settle them.
It's actually 655+. Google is available
DeleteOmo my dear I think YOU SHOULD MIND YOUR BUSINESS HERE..A clear case of Egungun be kiaful na express you dey go..
ReplyDeleteActually my aunt fell very sick due to this and my mum is their only elder sister now the rest of the siblings are younger. So she has being the one with the husband trying to resolve the issue. The husband wants her back but she has refused to go. We would have minded our business if she was health but seeing she was sick my mums family where also worried . Thanks for the advice.
DeleteDon't mind your business poster, sometimes people passing through stuff need their loved ones to stand up for them. Glad your mum is standing for her sister.
DeleteI would ve said you people should drink water and mind your business since she didn't come running and pleading for help but since you'll are family... 1st things first get a lawyer involved....Go through the financial whatever of the school, sharing of profits, ownerships, who gets what and all that sort. In all partnerships be it family related or not as along as its joint there must be written agreement and very well documented. When money is involved in any form of dealings a lot gets messy. Make ona start from there.
ReplyDeleteAm the poster the husband came to my Mum since she is now the elder among her sibling. My mum however is educated and retired educationist.
DeleteI don’t understand, did she leave her husband because of money or what?
ReplyDeleteJust follow Stella’s advice
Due to misunderstanding.
Deletethere is more to this,,veey sure of this
ReplyDeleteThere's more to this story.
ReplyDelete"My aunty said" it's all I see here.The husband hasn't given his own side of the story.
She might be suffering from inferiority complex.
Let her go back to school, inferiority complex is dealing with her seriously...
ReplyDeleteHave one on one talk with your Aunt to know her mind or what is troubling her..
She needs help urgently..
The only thing that caught my attention is 10,000ghc is equivalent to 500,000 naira. Nawa! Nothing wey Sanusi nogo see for exile
ReplyDeleteActually that’s a mistake 10,000ghc is 659,747naira
DeleteThey've been married for over 25 years. She just woke up one day and packed out of the house. Her husband wants her back, she doesn't want to remain.
ReplyDeleteThis story isn't complete. We will not insult the husband based on an incomplete story
Sweetheart, what exactly do you need advice on? From your narrative, your auntie seems content and relatively at peace with her decision to leave the marriage. Usually, after a couple of years of separation, couples have a better perspective. If either spouse still insists on moving on with a divorce, the implication is that the decision is well thought out and not spontaneous. She wants a divorce because, it appears, she knows her life will go on well without her husband. The 2 year test run has proved so.
ReplyDeleteBefore a woman decides to end a marriage of 25 years, it's safe to assume she has her valid reasons. Honey, you guys don't know the full gist, if she isn't asking for the help of the family, why not leave her be? Let her know you love her and would always support her with whatever she needs. Delving uninvited into their finances is rather intrusive, which brings me to the most confusing aspect of this story...
Why are you so concerned about her and her husband's finances? Did she ask you guys for an audit? Aren't you guys jumping the gun by not wanting her husband to get more than he deserves after the divorce? Who loaned whom money and why is that an issue now? I thought you stated that your auntie "monopolized the sale of things, as in she sells everything in the school herself "? That means she isn't pressed for cash, so what's the issue? I really don't get it. Also, your auntie's qualification doesn't seem to bother her. As ridiculous as it appears, the authorities allowed her run a school for the past 20 years. You don't necessarily need to be book smart to handle your finances. Your auntie isn't even an illiterate woman, she just doesn't have an advanced educational qualification. I know a few illiterate individuals who have superb money management skills, better than the average literate individual. I don't think her lack of financial knowhow is due to her educational background. Be that as it may, please allow her and her husband sort out their finances by themselves. If she approaches the family for help, get her an attorney for legal advice and representation.
Honey, I'm also not sure how her husband being a deeper life pastor and she having anger issues, are relevant to the present state of affairs but I know that thousands of marriages break up every now and then and invariably, both parties end up okay. I hope your auntie and her husband or soon to be ex-husband find peace in their future endeavors.
e-hugs and kisses.
Thanks
DeleteThere is no illiterate when it comes to finance....o
ReplyDeleteJesus!!!!! 10,000ghc is equally to 500,000 naira?????? Pls are we appreciating or depreciating BIKO???
ReplyDeleteThey decimalised now. Google it.
DeleteShe started a school under a mango tree which has grown and didn't bother to upgrade her education? Education has no age limits, so ask her to go back to school to learn bigger grammar. If possible, let her obtain a PhD with a 'diction' then return to take full possession of her property. What was she thinking as a vision bearer in the first place?
ReplyDeleteYour aunt didn't ask for help but you want to help her ?
ReplyDeleteWhy are you interested in their finances ?
Something is not right please.
She has being very sick and my mum is the eldest sibling now. So anything Atalanta the husband comes to my mum. My mum is also ok financially. She is a retired educationist. So we are not interested in her money but bacause she is not well
DeleteSo for 20 years your aunt did not go back to school??? Now inferiority complex is worrying her. Abegggiiiii leave us make we rest. By the way, these deeper folks do not have Christ like character at alllll. My mother inlaw is one and I went through hell when she visited us for few months! Religion and outward appearance has messed them up. They think that’s how to get to heaven. Very backward thinking set of people. Mtscheww
ReplyDelete1. The issue you are told is all incomplete you need to hear both sides directly
ReplyDelete2. Be her friend she need you all more than you guys thinks in 3 months she will open up and tell you.
I say this cos a family friend left her oil nd gas hubby for and moved to the village this is a woman with Msc but she later started life from starch in 042. The man kept changing his story
1. She was miserable bitter lady
2. She wanted time he is always busy
3. She stole his money
4. She was cheating on him
5. She went to stay with her bf
Eventually it was cos she caught him with small gals he had a house where he brings them he and 3 of his uni friends and he was d leader. Luckily her witness was sister inlaw. But it's life let her be. Be her friend she will tell you eventually.
You guys need to sit your aunt down and find out what she say that made her move out of her matrimonial bed before you can assist her to fight.
ReplyDeleteLet her go back to school. she caused this herself. How can you have a school and not be educated?
ReplyDelete