STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CLOSURE NEEDED
Please bvs I have an issue,
Please bvs I have an issue,
I had a neighbor she was 28 years old she died 3 years ago,her parents are my neighbors both parents still alive,she died mysteriously cos she just got married,had a son then 3 years later she died after an illness.
Some people said it’s cancer,same thing that killed her elder sister but the parents never told us the particular illness that claimed her life,she was a sweet young lady we grew up together in the compound from like when I was 2 years old o,we were close before she went to her husband's house, she was older than me with like 4 or 5 years before she died it was so shocking that I didn’t get over it I was filled with fear:::
I didn’t even go for her burial out of fear,the thing is ever since she died I can’t seem to get her out of my head.everyday I think of her,every hour I think of her I might forget it and get busy with work but my mind always drifts to her thoughts I don’t know why,it’s been 2 years plus but it seems forgetting her is impossible I dunno why..
I have prayed but she is in my memory I’m worried why it’s like that,I’m scared I dunno why she has to be on my mind 24/7 I’m not idle or jobless I have a business so it’s not like I’m jobless or not occupied I’m a lady I’m not a guy so nothing like an intimate relationship with her before she died..
I’m just worried why do I have her in my mind and in my head,why do I always remember her everyday pls bvs has anyone been in such situation before?please tell me how you got over it pls bvs...why can’t I get a dead person off my memory ?I’m worried and scared I have even prayed about it but for where!!
It is probably the shock of losing her and it has stayed on your mind because you have not found closure...The closure you need is to find out what happened to her.....Maybe visit her family and discuss with them,tell them how hurt you are over her passing (make them no think say you want come confess say na you kill am oh)
I hope other suggestions help you but let also tell you that My mum and elder Bro and sister that died are still on my mind,I remember them always but not in a bad way cos i have found closure.
Poster the reason is because you guys were close when she was alive. You need to find closure, 'dazzol'
ReplyDeleteWhy not relocate from that old house?
DeleteSecondly, ask the holy spirit to occupy your mind and help you forget her if you are a Christian.
Lastly, when you remember her, don't be scared. Reminisce on good memories of her and pray for her. Sometimes we are magneted to our fears. But once you face it boldly, it dissappears
This story is similar to Dean koontz book. I believe if you find out wat killed her you will find closure..
DeleteTry ask the parent. I believe is a way to uncover something to you. By now you supposed to have forgotten her after 2years.
It's not easy and almost impossible to forget the death of a loved one/close person. The Lord is your strength.
ReplyDeleteStay your lane since she's not your family. Don't go and bother her parents and start acting like FBI there, when they are trying to put the past behind.
ReplyDeleteStay out of other people's business, she is dead, let her rest in peace.
Unless you know about her death and you're about to confess.
🙄🙄🙄
DeleteYou really do not know what happened, so you cannot be sure. Get in touch with the family, find out how she died. At least it will answer the question why?. You can grieve from here and hopefully move on.
ReplyDeleteMy dear sisi, you are yet to properly mourn for this your dear friend:
ReplyDeleteGenesis 50:10 When they reached the threshing floor of Atad, near the Jordan, they lamented loudly and bitterly; and there Joseph observed a seven-day period of mourning for his father.
The people of God mourn for very dear ones (remember the love between Joseph and his dad Jacob?) by fasting, that is what Jesus taught;
Matthew 9:15
Jesus replied, "How can the guests of the bridegroom MOURN while He is with them? But the time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will FAST.
After my grandmother died, I had a similar experience. I will remember her and start weeping. We were so close. That in fact was my mother. I was in courtship then and every attempt by my fiance to comfort me was not working. Until I went indoors and fasted for a week plus. The Lord comforted me and showed me why he had to take her home peacefully. I was greatly comforted.
Cheers dear inugo? 😘😘😘😘
Ndi uta, gbabazianu egbe 😘😘
You fasted for one week? Chei if I hear
DeleteIf u hear,where u there with her?amebo
Delete@Chidimma
DeleteDid I tell you to fast for one week?
Why your ajuju eh?
I am talking about my experiences here.
Yes, I fasted for one week (drinking water profusely)
The Scriptures says, train yourself towards godliness (1 Tim. 4:7)
Same way you will scream if a marathon runner tells you that he/she
has run 30 kilometers. But was 30 km where she started?
Ajuju o.
You fast according to the leading of the Holy Spirit. It may sound
awkward to you perhaps due to the fact that you listen to and fellowship
with people who do not train themselves in godliness.
PLEASE NOTE THAT I HAVE NOT TOLD THIS POSTER TO FAST LIKE I DID. She can
still do "morning till evening" for like a week or weeks. But as for talking
about my experiences, nobody can shut me up from doing so ...
😘😘😘😘
It's you not knowing what killed her that's troubling you. You're curious, and your mind is feeding you with more thoughts on a daily. Get over it or like Stella said visit the family and find closure.
ReplyDeleteI will suggest you go see her parents. Am sure that is what she wants.
ReplyDeleteKeep praying, God will answer. Left to me, I will say you don't have business with a dead person.
All I will advise, just keep praying
You don't know how to process grief/ sudden passing and it stems from tragic jarring death that you can't explain.
ReplyDeleteYou keep reflecting with regret on the young life that was lost, you can't make sense of it.
I suggest you meet with her folks and talk about her..not just about her death but also good memories of her. Make them aware that you often think of her and wish to know what really happened. Once you piece together what killed your neighbor, that's when real closure will finally begin. xx
poster don't be scared it's the shock of her passing on nothing more. You're like you can't believe someone of your age grade, a friend and neighbor passed on just like that. It's the shock relax your mind
ReplyDeletePoster, you need to pray and also try find out what happened to her to get closure. You are scared because deep down in your subconscious,you fear that what happened to her might befall you since you were very close. 2, Maybe you had never experienced Death of someone so close to you. Talk to your father in heaven, you will find closure.
ReplyDeleteHonestly I don't advice you to visit her parents,don't go and open up wounds they are trying to heal for them
ReplyDeleteYou're just curious to know what happened to her,so after knowing what do you intend doing? Sometimes it's better to let something's be! Maybe some day you will but for now,mind your business.. With time she will be off your mind!
Seeing you and discussing about their daughter will surely brings painful memories to them,can you handle it? So let it go poster and let them be
I agree with Paris.
DeletePlease don't go and dig up old wounds, you misght end up hurting the parents even more.
Thanks so much jare. Imagine they are all telling her to find closure like what killers her was her concern.
DeletePray for her soul to rest in peace and face your life. I wonder hat you would do with the information bout her death after your findings..
DON, learn how to accept different views on a subject and stop undermining people's opinion. We all can't have the same opinion, don't be close minded.
DeleteOk thank you
DeletePoster, stay your lane before her family will accuse you of killing her. You can see a psychologist to pour out you heart to and the person will help you to grief over her,after that I believe you can move on.
ReplyDeleteExactly!
DeleteYou know what Nigerians are like? Please don't let them accuse you of something you know nothing about.
My dear, it's about two years my dad died and I can't get him off my head. In fact I'm still in shock.
ReplyDeletePoster,pray and fast over it maybe God will reveal something..You can hire a private investigator or go see her Parents privately...I hope u find Closure..Lost my mum and dad almost 16 years ago..I still remember them but not as much as u do ur friend..Guess with time ,the excess thoughts of her will gradually reduce
ReplyDeleteAccording to madam Stella, you need closure, but you see this our naija, better stay in your lane and don't go asking questions before they accuse you of having
ReplyDeletea hand in her death, which is the reason for your constant thinking of her.
Will suggest you take a day off work if you want, cry yourself out and pray for her soul to rest in peace.
You didn't go for her burial and now you want to go and ask why or how she died. Omo, you go just carry wahala for your head. People will start suspecting you of killing the woman.
ReplyDeleteBiko, pour your heart to God.
I think it's the shock of her death, and also,and like some people said, the fact that you have not found closure is another thing.
ReplyDeleteWhen last did you visit her parents/ son?
ReplyDeleteI hope this helps! True story! I found out my childhood sweetheart died. Before he passed on I was looking every where for him because I kept seeing him in my dreams. I reached out to his brother and shared my feelings and he told me all the details that led to his death. He even sent pictures of his corpse to me. He died at 49 years old never married or have any child. I’m single 38 years old not yet married and no kids yet! I lost a chance to marry my best friend! I almost went crazy and I understand why all my relationships didn’t work. I cried, hurt was angry and full of regrets. I dig more and going’s out all I needs and morn him with all my heart. I found closure prayed and he came to my dream after a few days I even fell ill but now I’m better. I’m getting over it and now I stop aching. I have finally found closure to losing my first everything. Death of a close one is very deep no matter how long. But time always is the best healer. May the Holy Spirit comfort and gives you direction. That was my comfort. My faith helped me. Dear poster please find out more then you will find peace and closure. It’s well dear.
ReplyDeleteThis year April will make it three years I lost my immediate younger brother I still think about him all the times. Sometimes I even see him in my dreams. I know I will overcome it just like I did when my father died. This thing takes time. Poster will be alright.
ReplyDeletePoster, please read a book on handling grief or death- not church book o, but secular, maybe written by a psychologist or a survivor. Read and watch interviews on this topic . It may be the fear of death considering she was about your age. It may be the pain and shock especially since you couldn't pay your last respect. It may just be the way you are with change. Whatever it is, educate yourself on this part of you and it would help you going forward.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think it would be a good idea if you visit the family to share how much the deceased meant to you. The parents will appreciate someone bringing back good memories. They have tried all this time to forget and now know it is impossible. Someone reminding them of her good deeds would be a welcome balm to the pain. It would put a smile on the parent's face and I think on yours as well. It may be an email or well-typed WhatsApp message on the anniversary of her passing or her favourite holiday. That would help you with closure and they also need the assistance to heal. I have had my cold responses to bad news which I now realize was a kind of coping mechanism. It comes out in the weirdest situations when it wout even seem I'm overdoing things but noticing that, I have learned to accept and not judge myself while trying to deal with life in the moment.
Dear poster its a normal thing to think of our love ones we lost mysteriously, one thing I do to curb the fear is that, each time I remember this my friend I always pray for his soul to rest in peace. The last time I saw him in my dream was about 4yrs ago & he was asking me when I will be coming to our home town but I replied him somebody told me you were dead and he never appeared in my dream again.
ReplyDeletePoster your friend may be angry you didn't go to her burial, the same thing happened to me when my childhood friend died,I didn't visit the parents and I didn't go to her burial. I kept seeing her in my dream, though I for see the death before it happened not knowing it's about her. I nearly made a mistake of visiting a prayer house because of this after calling the prophetess; thank God I didn't go to her if not aru kaara ime. I didn't pray o honestly but it gradually stopped. I suggest you pay the parents a condolence visit again. Though I have not paid them a condolence visit till now. Don't worry you will be fine. Forgive the errors bikonu I didn't go to school
ReplyDeleteI was once in a situation not to similar,we lost an uncle I was 14yrs then.he had kids and a wife we lost contact for so many years I even got married with my own kids.he kept coming to me in dreams and ng why I don't know his children.I told my parents they tried to find his wife I tried too.but notting.then one funny day,his son walked pass my elder sister,she saw the resemblance and called him back,she asked for his name and surname and behold it was him.imagine,we were all living in the same area and our paths had never crossed.my uncle has not come in my dreams again.just pray and listen,shemaybe wants to say something to u.
ReplyDelete