Some of our Yoruba family friends and relatives who visited the new babies would give cash gifts to my mother-in-law because according to them, she was the one taking care of the children
Hubby who usually helped out with house chores stopped doing anything immediately his mum came and when I asked, he said he did not want it to appear as if he was not in charge. I had to cope with doing everything alone.
The one that shocked me the most was when I was strongly advised by a close relative not to reject cash gifts for my babies even if they were strangers.
Sometimes, people I didn't know from Adam would just walk up to me and give me money for the twins and when I refused with a polite no, they would angrily walk away.
One aged woman saw me on my way home and started praying and blessing the children, I waited till she finished the prayers and thanked her. She mentioned she was a twin and dipped her hands in her bag to give me money. When I rejected it gracefully, she caused a scene so much that people around started begging me to just take it for peace sake. I still refused.
Why would traditions encroach on my personal decisions, and impose on me to accept what is not right?
I'm yet to come to terms with some of these deep rooted beliefs that portray me in bad light when I insist on not adhering to them.
*Money you will collect and give them entrance to monitor your life....hehehehehehehehe
Or you fit reach house turn to Masa served with pomo sauce....lol
Stella take time ooo! Lol
ReplyDeleteI love massa.
There is something to superstitious beliefs.
However I was reading the Bible this week and came to a part that said I should not pay attention to old wives tales, but instead focus on living a godly life. Being righteous or doing the right thing is what matters.
Thank you for the bible advice
DeleteThe people that receive advice the most in Naija are pregnant women and new mothers. Like seriously? Can't people just leave us alone and let us breath. Why is Nigerians fond of always telling pregnant women what to do and what not to do every damn time. My mother in-law told me I should never eat pawpaw until I put to bed. When I asked her why,she said pawpaw causes miscarriage.... Jeeeez....and that was when I was craving it like madt. I was still hiding to eat my thing when my senior colleague at work came with her ogbonge advice that I should never eat pineapple until I put to bed. Maka why kwanu,she said it causes contraction of the uterus. As if that wasn't enough another one told me I should not go out of my house by 12noon that evil children will be roaming about. Haaaah...kilode gannna. At a point I got fed up with the dos and don't of Nigerians old wives tales. Once they open their mouths now before any advice comes out I will quickly tell them I'm a born again child of God who doesn't believe in the protocols of this world rather I stand on the world of God. Haba. I tire for this country people to be honest.
DeleteBlack diamond that of pineapple is true. My sister use it in inducing labour. She has done it twice. She eats like 2 pineapples in a day by the third day of doing it continuously she falls into labour.
DeleteThe pineapple own is true. It induces abortion.
DeleteEven pawpaw too, especially those crunchy ones that are not fully ripe.They both contain enzymes(papain and bromelain) that can cause uterine contraction and bleeding. It won't hurt to do a little research after you're told stuff, instead of writing off the advice.
DeleteThe verse is 1 Timothy 4:7.
DeleteHowdy dear BVs👋🏽
I don't know about pineapples but unripe pawpaw is not advisable especially in the early trimester.
DeleteThe most ridiculous one I heard while pregnant is I should not eat plaintain because it cause 'oka'....what the heck is that? And when I gave birth I was told not to use anything yellow for my baby because it causes jaundice. My hubby and I are doctors so we argued that one and I happily used as many yellow stuff for my baby as I wanted.
The pineapple and paw paw own is true ooo...
DeleteI lost a 6weeks pregnancy because of pineapple. Hold your 2 ears o!!!! Pineapple causes miscarriage. Biko is true.
DeleteThe reason they said u shouldn't wear yellow for babies is to be able to detect if the baby has jaundice, so that the yellow worn would not reflect on the eyes
DeleteHaba poster, I am Igbo and know that ppl do give money to babies much more twins,it's like a seed. But u not collecting it means u are too rigid and unnecessarily mean. Collect it and give to others that u deem fit. I gave my baby's dash money to a motherless home and also bought a deep freezer.
ReplyDeleteHuman beings are wicked. That's all I can say. She may collect now and collect problems on her head
DeleteBut what are the aims of those creating these stuffs
ReplyDeletelol..me i will collect and plead the blood of jesus while am holding it..sometimes if am still not comfortable with the giver i dash the money out. when you have twins be ready for special attention, more so some cultures like yorubas hold them in high esteem. i have twin girls and right from when they were babies people have always come up wanting to touch and greet them. we were able to ward off hands when still in the UK at least till we got back to naija where people just dont understand and get easily offended. some people believe twins have special powers but me i dont indulge such cos aint no child gonna manipulate me and get away with nonsense..lol. honestly alot of our cultural practices in naija can be done away with. they have no eternal values and just take away too much rights of the individual.
ReplyDelete😀😀😀😀😀😀most Nigerians like twins and worship them no be small. My mother in-law treats my husband like her mini god becos he's twins. Each time she's doing her thing I will just stay one corner and be giving her side eyes😁😁😁
DeleteSome people believe twins are gods (orisa) and they are giving you that money with hope that your twins will pray for them to conceive. Do you know that some people also believe that the favourite food of twins is beans.
ReplyDeleteYears ago, I had an uncle living with us though his twin died at childbirth. Anytime he eats beans, he always leaves reminant with bread. I asked my grandma and she said he is keeping the rest for his late twin.
That left over food off me. There's a state in the South west where they dedicated a day to celebrate orisa ibeji. And this festival is big one attracting all twins from all over the world to come and eat beans,dance and dine. I watched it last year on NTA. Things are happening.
DeleteThe town is in On do state. That place has produced the highest Numbers of twins in the whole of Nigeria. Some say it is because of a particular yam eaten there
DeletePlease, tell me the Yam. I want to have twins when i get married abeg
DeleteI'm sure it's Igbo-Ora, in Oyo State, they have the highest number of naturally conceived twins in the world, apart from eating the yam, you must also use the water from that land to cook it, lol.
DeleteYou did well, me I will not collect o, atimes they use it exchange destiny.
ReplyDeleteSteeeellllaaaa! Hahahaha that Massa part got me laughing so hard
ReplyDeleteMy husband's people believe that once a woman is not circumcised , she will always enjoy sex and have urge for sex thereby following men about. When I had my daughter, my mother in-law came with that tale and showed her small madness. I told her my daughter has the right to long for and enjoy sex. Meanwhile all her circumcised daughters dey run follow man bfre marriage happens.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you anon for saving tour daughter from future pain and suffering
DeleteNa wah ooo for this our Africa/Nigeria, gush!! You give out money to people problem, you collect from people problem. So what do we now do? Hmmmmmm@Stella's comment, God please open our spiritual eye.
ReplyDeleteNa wa for your husband. So he cannot help around the house so that it doesn't appear as if he was not in charge. For his own wife and children. Hmm
ReplyDelete"give cash gifts to my mother-in-law because according to them, she was the one taking care of the children" even if it isn't true. Hmm.
It says a lot about her mother in law and how she raised him.
DeleteTo digress a little, I keep saying this, if ur in laws maltreat you openly, it's simply because ur husband let them
ReplyDeleteI wish Naija girls will refuse monies from sugar (bitter) daddies the way you refused those monies.
ReplyDelete😊😊
Even Jesus taught that it is more blessed to give than to receive.
But make I ask my ajuju n'ese okwu o 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
If that woman had given you $100k
check and say na for scholarship for those kids, she fit carry "God"
gum am say na "God told her," would you have refused?
Okwa ajuju ooo 😘😘😘
Where have you been.
DeleteThe sugar daddy own nailed it, oya over to Una. And the $100k sef too much, say $100 her rule no go apply again. She go look for another meaning to that kind giving. As for the writer, I hope you don't expect your hubby too to respect all your cultural values. As for him not helping out cos of his mum says a lot about his background. If he get mama like my mother in-law that grew up abroad, the case go dey different. Na my hubby dey sweep, take dust bin out, laundry and iron while I cook and take care of others.
Delete@Chocolait Noir
DeleteHow you dey?
You mean you've not been seeing my comments (not my yarns o 😊😊)
When I dey on top of my Lord's business, na comments I dey throway
But when I dey cooleeee, I go return to yarns steady 😂😂😂
Until Naija girls stop their runs and Pharisee moves, I go dey yarn my truthful yarns.
😘😘
Yoruba people like twins and they are always greeting them but the money part I dont understand
ReplyDeleteYou could take the money and pass it to beggars. You don't have to keep it.
ReplyDeleteMe I will take the money and only blessings will follow me.
ReplyDeleteThe aspect I don't like about the Yoruba culture is the MIL coming for omugwo instead of the woman's mum.
ReplyDeleteShe may come later but not immediately after being discharged from the hospital.
Imagine the hubby stopped to assist while his mum looks on. But if it were to be the woman's mum, she would combine the chores and still cater for the entire household. Na wa o
I'm a twin and twins are adored. There are so many greetings, good wishes, prayers and gifts from people just knowing you're one.
ReplyDeleteI remember traveling with my twin during uni days to visit a cousin who unfortunately traveled on an emergency. We were stranded. A lady upon seeing us asked if we are twins, we answered in the affirmative. She took us in just like that till the next day we went back.
In all the prayers and best wishes we have received, one stands out. We were walking to go board a cab, a woman stopped us and asked if we are twins, yes we answered and she making sign of the cross blessing us that "blessed is the womb that carried you two". It was emotional and lovely.
We still talk about till this day.