STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
HUSBAND WITH ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY
Stella good day,
My problem is this. I got married at the age of 16. We are blessed with 5 kids.
I came from a rich family. My father gave me a landed property. I called my hubby that I wanted to sell the land in other to raise money to sponsor myself in school and also start a small business. Then I will use the remaining balance to buy another plot of land. I promise to give him 1m from the money. We concluded everything last year.
So this January, my hubby started shouting that he own me And the property. That he should be the one in charge of everything. That if I should sell the property behind his back, that he will sent me out of his house. That he will show me that he is a man. I told him I have never plan to sell the property behind his back, I hv been getting him involved in everything am doing. He says he will show me his power, he will call those people that want to buy the property and stopped them from buying the property. This is not the first time he is doing this. After my father's death, my family wanted to pay some money into my account, he refused saying that they should pay it into our joint account not my personal account.
After much fight, my family paid into our account. If he wants me to sign some money, he will lock me up and force me to signed the cheque. I don't love him again due to his behaviour. I am just tired.
Stella, I have decided to sell the land behind his back and wait for the worst. Please I really need your advice and that of my fellow bvs.
Stella, I have decided to sell the land behind his back and wait for the worst. Please I really need your advice and that of my fellow bvs.
I am forty years old, I have nothing to show for it. He keeps manipulating me. Why won't him allow me to grow up and managed my funds. This man doesn't even give me enough money.
*What nonsense is this?he owns you and your properties?nah you give am that leg......go and sell your land and leave him out of the deal,play the money into your account and tell your family not to let him know of any transactions again..SHUT HIM COMPLETELY OUT..let him go and work for his own money...
Please be careful and watch out that he does not try to give you sniper and say you were depressed and committed suicide....
he that jobless or what? What kinda stupid entitlement mentality is that? Your own property again? Ehhh... Ozeba!!! Poster, you need to open your eyes and wake up. Stand up to him. Stand your ground. Vdw, what pushed you into marriage at such an early age when your father has money to further your education? I'm sure he has been taking advantage of you. But you need to stand your ground for once
ReplyDeleteSorry poster but that man might kill you if you sell it behind his back. Stay and be his 🏧 or leave and be independent but he will fight you over your kids. So sorry hun, whoever made you marry at 16 is the cause of this problem...
DeleteThis is bad!
DeletePoster, he is already aware of this land. Don't sell without him so he doesn't harm you.
You handle men like him with utmost wisdom and fake* humility.
Your first step is to cut your tongue. STOP telling him all you own. Open a secret account and start saving. Be doing him the more you look, the less you see.
Once he is aware of anyone, come plain with it on *half truth*. Since he knows how to be entitled, he needs to be taught that two can play the game.
When you have saved enough and still feel sad about him, divorce his silly ass.
He is a mad man that has no shame
He married you for your father's money
DeleteDivorce him!!!🛌
ReplyDeleteYou both have been married for 24 years. Some marriages have elastic limits when a woman or man marries wrongly. Entitled people are the worst. You married a leech🚶♂️
Give this man space cus its obvious he married you for marital gains.
DeleteGive him space so he will realize that threatening to send you out doesn't scare you one bit.
24 years in marriage. No education, no business, no career. Wow! It's true indeed that a woman marrying the wrong man is road block to destiny.
ReplyDeleteMadam, I agree with the Bible concerning divorce.
Just begin to be as calm as the dove while being as wise as the serpent.
Start now to set SMART goals for your self and courageously follow through without letting your unsupportive husband in on it.
Ok my new small place of work is filled with hateful pipo. A married friend confined in me,her husband a raising pastor has 3 lands, she managed to buy 1, on Dec 19th her oga told her to sell it, bring d money so dey can develop 1 of his, she refused him.
DeleteWe had end of yr party ,with drinks and cakes ,this man walked in and destroyed Everything,disgraced this lady. Reason,she refused to do account of what she made since jan till dat dec. My pipo i weak o. Is this wat u pipo call marriage? Always unhappy and less productive.
He has 3 but wants her to sell the only one she has and use it to develop his land. Tomorrow he will throw her out of 'his' house and leave her with nothing. Odiegwu
DeleteTrue na you give am leg ,what?? women manage your finances ,don't get carried away by love.
ReplyDeleteMake sure you arrange yourself very well so that if he sends you packing you can for yourself and children.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I think he was just threatening you by saying he will send and you packing. I doubt he will do it. Nevertheless, you need to watch your back. What he wants is your money and he doesn't want you saying anything.
You have a say in what happens.
You sound smart. So he smart. No who you share your stuff with.
Stella, she did not "give him that leg", she was young and naive. What could a 16yr old possibly do to a man older and physically stronger than her?
ReplyDeleteMadam, my advice is that you sell that land and put the money in your account, and leave that man because he is very greedy and selfish, and might strangle you in your sleep. Just leave him and start a new life, or sell the land with him, and watch him leave after draining you physically and financially.
No madam move out of that marriage first if you want to sell the land or wait patiently for your children to become independent. Or wait for him to get old. But whatever you do don't endanger your life!!! That man might fly into a jealous rage and kill you. He worships money. Please be smart. Your life comes first biko nne
DeleteNonsense. You still stayed married to that type of man, why? Sell the land and do not give him a dime from the money. Move faraway from him and start living. If I were you, I would report him at a Police station. Flee from everything that won't give you peace of mind. Be security conscious and do not enter into business with anyone, he might send fraudsters after you. Open another bank account and put the money there, you could even fix some of the money. Try to improve yourself financially and educationally. Best of luck.
ReplyDeleteNa wah oh, nothing wey musa no go see for lagos
ReplyDeleteNothing wey Donald Trump no go see for impeachment
DeleteWhat a selfish and ungrateful man... He is manipulative and abusive. You said u dont love him again and tired... please this is a sign that u cant continue for long with this attitude of his. Mandam its better to walk away in tact and be happy with what you have left than to continue to suffer oppression from a man who thinks he owns u and everything u have.
ReplyDeleteYou see men like this, you play them wisely. Don't give him any reason to think you're doing something behind him. If only you can be strong to do things on your own, then you'all laugh last. You're 40, you should be able to do things on your own. Men love to intimidate women that acts weak. But once they sense you're not taking nonsense, they tend to adjust.
ReplyDeleteTry fixing every loose end, sell the things you want to sell withing carrying him along, and pls dont let him suspect you're doing this. Make sure your potential buyers are not from him and in no way have anything to do with him. Open another account for this type of deal, and pls let your family show him they're solidly behind you should in case he tries anything funny. Make a report for domestic violence. If you don't act wise now, this man will finish your money. He's even displaying right over his wife's money. Such a shameless man. I don't like what i hate.mtcheeeeeeeew.
Make sure you keep the money in an account that has no ATM card. Else, he will lock you inside and tell you to give him your PIN, while he withdraws to the last kobo.
DeleteVery typical of Igbo marriage.
Did she mention her tribe? or your just trying to be silly?
DeleteYou caused it naa, with this type if mentality, he can kill u just to take over whatever you have, be careful o, he's jealous.
ReplyDeleteI have two judgement to this ...as a mortal man and as a Christian .1...as a mortal, why let him know about your personal dealings at first, who told him about the money to be paid in your account? see if I don't have plans sharing my stuff I don't go about telling people... 2 as a Christian,... this is bone of my bone.. in marriage everything one owns belongs to both husband and wife.. and yee woman be yee submissive under your husband... let him take charge for peace sake, you have come a long way pls
ReplyDeleteDid you read where she said he has never given her anything before? Isn't he shameless.
DeleteShe keeps providing but this man has never done his part as a man before financially for so many years? Or didn't the Bible say a man is the provider and the woman a helper? What does the Bible say about a man who doesn't provide?
If the man doesn't want peace to reign that is his problem so the wan should always be the only to broker for peace? Everytime "do this so that piece will reign do that so that piece will reign" if the man doesn't want peace then he should brace himself up for war. Poster he doesn't own you. You aren't a property to be possessed. Leave that man and take charge of your life. You already have kids who are grown I believe. It's time to live for yourself and free yourself from that parasite you call a husband.
15:26. You are a man so I am not surprised. So she should allow the man ruin her life because of submissiveness? The Bible said submission not stupidity please! and both parties should submit so submission is not a one-sided thing.
DeleteIs her husband submissive or dominating? What has the man submitted unto her? What one owns in marriage belongs to both but you didn't see where she said his own money is for him alone and he has never given her a dime since they got married?. She should submit her money while he should keep his own ba?
Is it not in the Bible that it is written that both husband and wife should be submissive to one another?
Is this the advice you would give a female relation from your side if they happen to find themselves in such a stagnant situation?
Haba!! For a whole 24 years this man has stifled her growth. She has no education, no career, no future ambition. Everything her parent worked for he takes and takes with no intention of building her up. He doen't add anything to her but take take take like a leech that he is. You are not a Christian at all. you are mean very mean
1526 you must be the man😏
DeleteAnon 15:59 your last paragraph is particularly heartbreaking.
Delete15:16 you're a man, and a stupid+lazy one at that.
DeleteYou can as well give him all the money he want what rubbish scripture are you preaching here, is it not the same Bible that said a man should work hard to keep his family, a man that cannot feed his family is wrist than an infidel. She has been submissive but the man is taking her for a fool.
DeleteMadam how dare you annoy me this hot afternoon with this your stupid Chronicle. I was thinking you are below 23 years until I read 40. If you can't stand up to a manipulative man how is that our fault? Your husband can open his mouth and tell you he owns you and your property and you couldn't put him in his place. Please leave us alone to advise people with real Chronicles. At 40, if you can't handle issues like this, then it's a waste of time and energy trying to advise you.
ReplyDeleteIt is not about age angry anon. Poster has been subjugated from youth without any form of empowerment. Then you expect her to change and become superwoman overnight? She is here asking for advice because she honestly can't take things anymore, but she doesn't know what to do, neither does she feel empowered. Sometimes you guys should try to place yourself in another's slippers.
DeleteEhn ehn why won't he claim he owns you when he married you at 16. Its time you let him know you're no more the 16yrs old girl he married.
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering why you should be given out at that age despite the wealth. Anyways, wealth is not sense.
Sell that land without his knowledge but be ready for the worse.
That man you have is not well and has a narcissistic behaviour so just know say your time don dey close to commot that torture called marriage
If you like tell him cos I know you still never get sense @40
How do you guys do it sef, you grow old and don't grow up. Chai.
The constant use of past tense made reading this a bit confusing. All I will say is get a lawyer involved in whatever you do.
ReplyDeleteKikikikikiki
ReplyDeleteIn short, na husband be this?
Sell the land and keep the money in your personal account, let him go and do his worst.
ReplyDeleteHe can go and kill himself if that's what he want, don't shake.
At 40 what are you yabbing about sensenselessly. It hasn't occurred to you 24 years after that you are just a slave in that marriage. He is bully and will continue to bully you if you don't stand up for yourself. Go open a new account, sell the land and deposit the money in the new account.
ReplyDeleteAlexander
Why did your rich family even let you get married at 16 in the 1st place and why will they agree to pay in money into your joint account and not your personal account. YOUR family should be for you not against you. Please just leave that man. He just wants to suck you dry and make you miserable so you better beat him to his game.
ReplyDeleteThis is my only concern,
DeleteMarrying at such a tender age.
C my fellow Ogbu achi o.... Hahahha nne welcome o. Am uru ezealo
DeleteThanks dear... Okwa ezigbo nwannem ka ibu. I'm uru orji
DeleteMy guess is that an unplanned pregnancy was involved. Covering a mistake with a bigger, more permanent mistake...
DeleteThunder fire your husband,he is a no-good,lazy,stupid idiot,and I really blame your family for allowing him to get away with his nonsense attitude,leave that marriage right now,that muthasucker you call a husband is a terrorist thief.
ReplyDeleteAnon 15:26 u must be the leech of a man. Madam, go on low key,involve ur closest and good family members, sell the land without noise and spend the money without noise. Above all, WATCH YA BACK. the heart of man is desperately wicked, especially when it comes to LAND AND MONEY matters.
ReplyDeleteAt the beginning you were playing a submissive and in love wife that is why he has the liver to shout at you and tell you rubbish. His mate are making money, buying expensive gift for their children his own is to be manipulative on his wife.
ReplyDeleteSale the land, sell anything you want to sale, pay the money into your account, if possible open a new account and pay in the money. Do fix deposit if you are not sure what to use the money on, he may want to play sweet husband and collect your money. Never give him that chance.
How come your family let you marry at such age? And you said you come from a rich family? For him to change and demand he should be the one taking decisions for everything means he "consulted" and has some thing up his sleeves. Why must your family let him know everything about you? Does his family carry you this along?
ReplyDeleteSo, it was difficult to have gone to any bank of your choice, open another account and the money paid into without him knowing? You can't keep secret?
You confirmed he manipulates you, does he manipulate your family too? Don't you have siblings? Or are they the type "you're married and must stay married" even in the face of abuse and oppression?
Folks here will tell you to pray and harder. There is no shame in taking a walk with your sanity intact. Do not be afraid. If he died or was dead, won't you move on?
The choice and decision is yours.
Poster I know it is not easy for you, but now is the time for 2 things. Wisdom and courage.
DeleteHa! Madam, this man will kill you if he finds out you're doing anything behind him. What were you doing all these years? A man that locks you up & force you to sign off your own money, haven't you realized he's with you because of your properties? 🙆
ReplyDeleteI pity your children ma'am. SMH
There are some case where wisdom would be highly appreciated... I'll advice you play the fool so as to get your joy in full...in clear terms and to avoid stories that touches tomorrow...involve him in the little things that may mean nothing buh you see those big ones no matter what don't let him know and please never give him any reason to suspect you at all...jus start saving no matter how small it may be...hope my #2cents will count...#BaeisBeulah
ReplyDeleteNo man owns you;and marriage isn't a "Slave/Master" thing..
ReplyDeleteHowever;use Wisdom if your kids are still growing or if you are ready for ANYTHING..Divorce included!
However,Don't allow any man in marriage make you believe you can't survive on your own;no one is your God and success isn't just for the male in marriage..
Before you sell the land;kindly weigh your option;hope for the best;and be prepared for the worst(if it comes up)..
Remember our own is to advice you;but you are the ONLY one to live with the consequence of any action taken today..
@MARTINS
This Martins aboy is too wise, kilode?!?! Who raised you sef? God bless whoever impacted so much wisdom in you 🙌🙌🙌
DeleteI'm happy for your wife
DeleteMartins.
God blessed her with a good MAN.
This woman will crumble on her own. All she knows is this man. Just leave the land. Keep the documents and say your mum collected it back till you ready to be strong. That man will send you out, either the land or your marriage
DeleteI don't get it,you came from a rich family and your father still married you off at that age instead of sending you to school?And like you said your family is wealthy😲😲😲😲😲
ReplyDeleteYes 16:20, wealthy uneducated parents marry off their teenage daughters without thoughts of their education.
DeleteIt still happens today so don't find it unbelievable.
17.38 are you the poster?
DeleteGo to Onisha u will understand @16;20
DeleteExactly what happened to a particular woman. The husband forced her to make him the next of kin, use style to collect the four lands documents from her.
ReplyDeleteBefore you know what's up, she became very sick, the husband left her and later she died.
He got married to another woman and he's enjoying the four properties in a choice area.
Madam, shine your eyes and let your brothers know what's happening.
Be careful with that man. His intentions are not pure. He can waste.
It's mostly rich Northern muslims who give away their daughters like that. If you're not from there then I suspect that you got pregnant and had to marry him. The reason why God will bless anyone with this amount of wealth is so that your daughters don't have to go through something like this.
ReplyDeleteAnd now, you did mumu and went to tell him, knowing the kind of husband you have at home. What do you want us younger than you to tell you? If we say leave him, you won't. And sadly where will you put the children with your little savings? Now that you have sold it, do you think he won't eventually find out? And from the looks of things he seems like someone who can get physically violent. Someone who locked you in and forced you to sign something can kill you. You didn't think this thing through at all.
Get a good divorce lawyer and be alert. Or stay and manage.
Dear poster,i wont advise you to sell the land to that particular buyer your husband knows,becsuse the buyer may spill,look for an estate valuer to know the true value of the land your selling, open a new account,buy a new sim card and register it as the number your new account messages wii ne sent to,look for a lawyer that specializes in land matter to market the land,sing the land documents in the new bank office,upon trsnsfer and confirmation of the money in your account,meet an investment banker,in your new bank to invest your money daily.Come home and play your wifey duties well,please no matter how hubby romances you do not spill your latest actions,ignore his sudden change of attitude and watch him.
ReplyDeleteAnd the day he wants to force to produce the documents nko?
DeleteJet li,since the husbsnd has been eyeing the documents you simply use his greed against him,raise alarm and hold a family meeting that your husbsnd has seized the land documents and is accusing you falsely with the aim to kill you and take over your land,to buy time and escape with your children
DeleteMadam, don't sell the land else that man will kill you rather get a lawyer and will your remaining properties in your children name. That was how my hubby met a case in court where the father took his kids to court because his mother willed her properties to her grand kids.
ReplyDeleteMake sure when you do the will videotape it o so no one will later say "under duress" things
ReplyDeleteThis is such a sad story,please it is time to choose yourself and live for YOU.Pretend for as long as you can and sell the property to a person he doesn't know and bounce from that toxic situation since you do not love him anymore.Such people are users and will drop you like a hot potato once they have drained you.If after 24 yrs,he is still like this there is no way he will change.Best of luck to you but remember "YOU" matter.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you do
DeleteBe safe, pray, be watchful
Na who dey alive them dey count for the living
Hmmmm posted,land matter de carry people head most cases!!
ReplyDeleteYou are an over grown adult, wether married or not!
Stand up for your right and that of your kids!!
I believe you have kids above 15 yeah? This is time to find your way out of that hell hole. Tread with caution though. That shameless man you married is capable of anything including murder. Your children should be your next of kins in everything including the land before you sell it. Yes, sell it to new buyers. Get a trusted person in your family to be in the know of everything happening. Sell it, rent a place far from him and leave him with your kids. I doubt your family is such a support system seeing how they eventually agreed to pay in the money into you guys' joint account. It would never have happened with my family. Some men have become so shameless sha.
ReplyDeleteSame with my family, they wont even consult the man na to pay am enter my account strait.
DeleteMy dear sell it even in his front let him do his worse. You don't have to apologize for your pedigree. Sell it and if he talks too much call the cops for him
ReplyDeleteI swear some of us called men are shameless.How do you look ur wife in the face and say such rubbish. WTF
ReplyDeleteTo the poster,he cant do jack shit.Sell your Property and chop the money alone
Its becos she married very early with no sense at all. Na the man house she mature . Madam, you are 40yrs old now a big woman. decide what you want for yourself, i cant advice you but for me o, them never born that man well.
ReplyDeletedivorce him before he kills u because of your inheritance
ReplyDelete