STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MOTHER IN LAW WITH ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY
Hi Stella,
I got married in October 2018 and early 2019 I became pregnant. My pregnancy journey was smooth until at 7months when I fainted in a market place, I was rushed to the hospital and the doctor said my PV is very low (26%), plus I had malaria and will be needing blood transfusion. All this was treated in private hospital we paid over 70k before I was discharged. At a point I regretted why the good Samaritan brought me to that hospital when I passed out.
So after that incident, my husband said I've to stop going to the shop until I deliver. That's was how I closed my small provision store.
Fast forward to when I was approaching my due date, my MIL called complaining of waist pain insisting we send money to her for treatment. My husband became frustrated because he has been sending money for same sickness for too long so he ask her to come to the city for a check up. After the check-up, the Dr prescribed some drugs assuring us she will be fine after taking it.
My MIL refused to go she said, she want to stay till Dec before going back to the village. As heavy as I was I cooked 3 different meal everyday cos she doesn't repeat food in a day and also allergic to stale food. That was how I spent my little savings from my shop to feed this woman for peace sake. The day I served her food with meat she complained I told her that's the only thing available in the soup. She called her daughters to report me and I was warn not to ever give her meat again but fish only and it must be fresh because of her health. I apologise to them. They're all older than me and my husband.
Nov 10th 2019, I delivered my baby girl to glory of God. I was given 2nd degree tear, I couldn't walk for a week and I was scared of going home because of my MIL but the more I stay, the more money we will pay in the hospital.
I was discharged the following week, I couldn't even bath my new born baby cos I can't seat properly and MIL can't do it cos of waist pain. So I called my Mom to come and help out. She came and wasn't comfortable because of how my MIL monitors her while cooking or bathing the baby and complaining of my Mom not giving her enough fish in her food. My mother got angry and left after 2 weeks and I was left to care for my baby in pain and also go the market and do other house chores.
Dec 22nd, she finally decided to go I was so happy. My husband bought a bag of rice and cooking oil and pleaded with her to manage it. She said no way that I have to buy things for her as someone that came for omugwo (Meanwhile, my Mom left with nothing o). I told her I don't have money
She reported me to everyone including her Church people and I was labeled a witch. I even received call from her pastor telling me to buy omugwo things for her so that doors of blessing will be opened for me.
I ended up using the cash visitors gifted my baby to buy wrappers, yam, provisions and the "thank U" I received from her was I didn't buy shoe and handbag.
Since December till now we have been managing cos my husband is now totally broke and state govt is yet to pay. I'm not too strong but I've to do exclusive feeding to avoid buying baby food, I'm even using washable diapers for my baby who's not up to 3 months. My baby's dedication is next month and we're not planning a party but my mother inlaw has called that she'll be coming next week for the dedication.
I don't know how to tell her not to come without hurting anyone or them thinking I'm trying to avoid her.?
Hi Stella,
I got married in October 2018 and early 2019 I became pregnant. My pregnancy journey was smooth until at 7months when I fainted in a market place, I was rushed to the hospital and the doctor said my PV is very low (26%), plus I had malaria and will be needing blood transfusion. All this was treated in private hospital we paid over 70k before I was discharged. At a point I regretted why the good Samaritan brought me to that hospital when I passed out.
So after that incident, my husband said I've to stop going to the shop until I deliver. That's was how I closed my small provision store.
Fast forward to when I was approaching my due date, my MIL called complaining of waist pain insisting we send money to her for treatment. My husband became frustrated because he has been sending money for same sickness for too long so he ask her to come to the city for a check up. After the check-up, the Dr prescribed some drugs assuring us she will be fine after taking it.
My MIL refused to go she said, she want to stay till Dec before going back to the village. As heavy as I was I cooked 3 different meal everyday cos she doesn't repeat food in a day and also allergic to stale food. That was how I spent my little savings from my shop to feed this woman for peace sake. The day I served her food with meat she complained I told her that's the only thing available in the soup. She called her daughters to report me and I was warn not to ever give her meat again but fish only and it must be fresh because of her health. I apologise to them. They're all older than me and my husband.
Nov 10th 2019, I delivered my baby girl to glory of God. I was given 2nd degree tear, I couldn't walk for a week and I was scared of going home because of my MIL but the more I stay, the more money we will pay in the hospital.
I was discharged the following week, I couldn't even bath my new born baby cos I can't seat properly and MIL can't do it cos of waist pain. So I called my Mom to come and help out. She came and wasn't comfortable because of how my MIL monitors her while cooking or bathing the baby and complaining of my Mom not giving her enough fish in her food. My mother got angry and left after 2 weeks and I was left to care for my baby in pain and also go the market and do other house chores.
Dec 22nd, she finally decided to go I was so happy. My husband bought a bag of rice and cooking oil and pleaded with her to manage it. She said no way that I have to buy things for her as someone that came for omugwo (Meanwhile, my Mom left with nothing o). I told her I don't have money
She reported me to everyone including her Church people and I was labeled a witch. I even received call from her pastor telling me to buy omugwo things for her so that doors of blessing will be opened for me.
I ended up using the cash visitors gifted my baby to buy wrappers, yam, provisions and the "thank U" I received from her was I didn't buy shoe and handbag.
Since December till now we have been managing cos my husband is now totally broke and state govt is yet to pay. I'm not too strong but I've to do exclusive feeding to avoid buying baby food, I'm even using washable diapers for my baby who's not up to 3 months. My baby's dedication is next month and we're not planning a party but my mother inlaw has called that she'll be coming next week for the dedication.
I don't know how to tell her not to come without hurting anyone or them thinking I'm trying to avoid her.?
*Why are some women like this?I dont get it at all......She is about to scatter her sons marriage and in a wicked way.............
Please call and tell her not to come because the dedication has been postponed and please postpone it if you must to avoid letting her come again,because since you are broke,if you let her come,she will succeed in causing you a lot of problems this time around.....
She is wicked,has entitlement mentality and thinks you both have money to throw around.....
I am so upset reading your chronicle.....
What is your husband’s role in all of this? Can’t he talk to his mother? Why is the burden on you when it’s you that would be called names. If her daughters are good they’d take their mother to their own home and give her food to eat the way she likes. Talk to your husband to tell his mother to stay home and if she insist on coming, do not spend a kobo of your money unless of cause you have excess to give a way. If I were you, I would have gone to my mums place for omugwo, I know people who do it.
ReplyDeleteEnter your reply...
Deletewhere is your hubby here biko? Haha, this is wickedness and your mother left you with this kind of MIL. Call her and tell her that there's no dedication party so she shouldn't bother since your hubby has refused to open his mouth. I'm angry on your behalf:radarada of the highest order
If is not MIL is Husband. Abi marriage is a burden that leaves a lot of women BITTER
DeleteHer husband is to be held responsible for all of this. Can’t he talk? Can’t he tell them how things are?Why is he giving impression that all is financially well? Please tell him that if she comes, he will take up responsibility of her since he has reserve somewhere. And what a MIL and her daughters? Why would you give her omugwo things when she didn’t come for it nor contributed to it? You sef follow de encourage all of that. Till both of you are ready to drop bigmanism and speak up, you have to keep dealing with it. There’s nothing we can do for you until you nip it in the bud. Inukwa!
DeletePoster this your own is small. My mil and sil wanted to try same with me as per i am not same tribe with them. When i had my 1st child,my hubby was just doing say mum up and down. My mum was around and my cousin. We planned them like this. I carried my son and did wayo fainting on d chair. Did not open eye oh. We went to hospital where my cousin told the doctor to tell hubby i was over stressed and it was dangerous for me. I stayed hospital for a wk. By the time i got home,mil and sil had left till dedication.
DeleteSo everything lies on your hubby and you. Try d fainting 1st.
It's not in her place to call her MIL ITS HER HUSBAND'S.
DeleteIf your MIL insist on coming after explaining the situation of things to her, my dear Just lock up. I'm a MIL too.
The husband knowing his financial capability should be the one to talk to his mother and siblings and not you the wife. Like Stella, I really feel for you.
DeleteYour husband should be the one to call his mother and tell her that there won't be any need for her coming for the dedication. Stay out of it before they call you names. But then,it seems you and your husband don't communicate well enough. You should be able to tell him your concerns and not bringing this here
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteGo and stay with your mother for sometime. If your husband cannot speak for his family then ignore all of them.
DeleteI think the poster married her husband.
DeleteSee tales by moonlight.
You don't need all these stress or drama since you are nursing.
DeleteAre you guys having a dedication? No? So tell your hubby to tell his mom not to bother coming that there will be no child's dedication for now.
If she insists on coming, let her come but please let her eat what everybody is eating. Do not go borrowing or spend your savings.
I guess she had a swell time the last time that is why she wants to come back and burden you.
Very annoying Chronicle!!! I can't stand people like these.
Just imagine! Yourh should be the one tell her not to come Biko.
DeleteRubbish!
Your husband is the sole cause of this see finish.
DeleteThe only important 'wrong' thing I noticed here is her mother leaving the house after 2weeks,when her daughter was still in a bad shape.If your daughter can endure her MIL while in her condition,while can't the mother do so,until,at least her daughter heals properly???...Poster your mother needs Jesus,even more than your MIL!!!... isn't your mother that's supposed to be doing the omugwo?.. but she left,right???
DeletePoster, your MIL would not try this with me. She will carry either take a seat to the kitchen and cook for herself or go stay with any of her daughters. What is your MIL looking for in your home?
DeleteMy mom has an only son and has not visited him and his wife since they got married much as they have invited her.
I'm her last child and it takes a lot of persuasion to get her to visit me.
Invite her to your baby dedication and make sure she gets no privileges. She will run back to her own house.
You tried o. I would've blocked all their numbers - from SIL to Pastor. If I could block my own blood sister's number for one full year, who needs troublesome in-laws! You can't steal my peace.
I am with you on this one. THEM NEVER BORN THAT MIL WELL. i will quietly go to my parents and from there go for the dedication. What useless and wicked woman and daughters. i blame the horseband.
DeleteLet her son tell her not to come not you. And if she still comes, give her what your husband can provide.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of woman is this, looking for how to finish all her sons money, money he doesn't even have.
DeleteWhy can't your hubby open his own mouth and tell her you both do not have money.
I don't like when men can't stand up for their women, please stand up for yourself, let her know you are not working so you can't afford giving her fresh meals with fish. You cannot do more than yourself.
I agree with you. Let your husband be the one to stop her from coming except he has money to cater for his mum since you are not working for now. Make him postpone the baby dedication and she not be inform about the new date.
DeleteWhen she comes, because she can't seem to help herself, be very nice to her but don't go overboard. If she complains of anything0, tell her that is what you can afford. Don't dig yourself into a hole by borrowing. When she is going do what you can, if you can't leave it and bid her farewell nicely. Also talk about the situation with your husband. You both should show a united front, and it should be him talking to her because he is her son. He should tell her things are tough, abi can't she understand?
DeleteTry express your thoughts not your feelings to your husband objectively... Don't fight o.
DeleteIt's your husband's place to manage your MIL or she will tarnish your image before other people so avoid that contact with her on this issue.
If your husband isn't on same page with you:
1 Fake fainting immediately after or before the baby dedication, involve a doctor and family members you can trust to deliver the bottomline message to your husband.
2 Park your things tell hubby ahead how you wish to have your mom's support and allow her see her grandchild. Seeing her will help relieve you off some stress.
3 Fake Getting a job/ actually enroll for a training or skill that will keep you away from the house most of the time. The idea is if MIL no see you for house how she go fit oppress you? (My sis tried this and it worked) but she cooked down for her MIL
And again, you and your husband should not be giving from separate purses. Aren't you one again? Now see how that old mama take use sense rob you.
Instead you and your husband are to present whatever gifts together and not one presenting it in absence of the other. Or are you two competing to win other people over?
Let your husband know that whatever you both decide to do would either break or make your home.
I wish you the best of outcomes
I'm finding it quite difficult believing this story. Like seriously? If what I read is in anyway true, if you say No, will you die? Will your SILs come and beat you in your home? What kind of a man are you even married to cos I don't get exactly why you have to go through all that nonsense.
DeleteWho says you can't go to your mother's place for omugwo?
Look you have no biz calling your MIL cos it's her son that should do that and it seems you can't talk to that horseband of yours talk less of telling him what you want and how you want it.
I'm livid honestly.
Na wa o
ReplyDeletePls try not to go out of your way to please her, as she wont even appreciate you if you do.
Cancel the dedication and fix another date without telling anyone jare. If she ask, tell her it was impromptu.
Poster, I would say that your MIL went this far is all your fault!
DeleteFrom the start, why didn't you stand your ground by spending only what your husband made available? Why did you have to go out of your way, spending your business money and even your savings?
I'm quite sure that if you had given her strictly what her son could afford, she wouldn't have stayed that long in your house. Well you said for peace to reign but for me, living peacefully with some people is too EXPENSIVE so I'd prefer we're at war!
She wanted Omugwo things from whom exactly? Who did she do Omugwo for? And even if she did, who's duty is it to buy omugwo items?
If I were in your shoes, especially since she has already black lebelled me before others then to hell with it! I am not buying a pin!...
You are simply amazing being at peace is expensive lmao!!
DeleteMama Mia, you made the right points. Honesty is alrways the best policy. A new mother emptying her savings to finance her husband's dishonesty about his financial buoyancy is not just wrong but dangerous. Now that you've wasted money your daughter could use for diapers and other needs in the house, you've been rewarded with an encore. If you don't borrow money to maintain that fake lifestyle, you'll be labelled the witch that turned her son against her. If you do, you'll be the wicked wife who eats her son's money and does not allow him send enough to her- do you see that you can't win? Living your life trying to please Human beings is an expensive form of suicide. Stop the act of pretence now. Call your husband and talk to him. Tell him that if he doesn't make his situation clear to his mom, you'll possibly but politely tell her when she makes her demands. If she insists on coming for more fish (which you'd better leave to her son to buy), never do more than yourself. If she helps with your baby, cook TWO fresh meals. If she doesn't, you are not a widow- tell her son to sort her out. NEVER AGAIN TAKE MONEY MEANT FOR YOUR OWN BUSINESS, YOUR CHILDREN'S INHERITANCE, TO SERVICE THE FLIMSY SELFISH NEEDS OF A MEMBER OF AN OLDER GENERATION WHO ISN'T LEAVING YOU BILLIONS. if she has a serious illness, will you sell your blood? It is wicked and irresponsible. Maybe because you haven't started buying textbooks, making midnight trips to the hospital and paying school fees. You'll understand soon enough.
DeleteWhen a man knows his wife will take money meant to create wealth to run a guest house for his relatives, he'll receive the accolades of being a provider with pride but will never take you seriously when it comes to financial planning. Every idea and budget you table for him to buy into will be mentally filed away because he thinks you'll use the money to cook rice once again.
Tell your husband to call that you're not doing anything big since you and your husband are broke right now.
ReplyDeleteFor Christ sake why are some mothers are like this, making life a hell for their daughter in law.
Is your husband not bold enough to talk some sense to her mother?
Your husband is a major issue here; if he is bold enough to stand up to his mother, your will be free.
ReplyDeletePostpone the dedication and let her know. Then you and your husband should do it in a small way at a later date without informing her. Nawa ooo. The woman is just too troublesome
ReplyDeletePlease there is no Scripture (in the NT) that says that a new born Child MUST be dedicated in a Church. Where two or more are gathered in Jesus Name, he is there in their midst. If you do not have money to do all the celebrations in the church, call some believers to pray for your baby at home.
ReplyDeleteAnd tell your husband to call her mother to order. Men should be men na haba!
When I say Naija girls call their MILs "senior winches," SILs "junior winches," no be this type o. If all you wrote here is how she is, mmmmhhh, 😮😮😮
Was Baby Jesus not presented at the Temple🤷
Delete@16:35 Note I wrote MUST...it is not a must. If your definition of "temple" is that building you call "church" then let's read Jesus:
Delete1. Matthew 18:20 19 Again, I tell you truly that if two of you on the earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by My Father in heaven. 20 FOR WHERE TWO OR THREE GATHER TOGETHER IN MY NAME, I AM THERE WITH THEM"
2. John 2:21 20“This temple took forty-six years to build,” the Jews replied, “and You are going to raise it up in three days?” 21But Jesus was speaking about the temple of His body.
3. Luke 2: 22When the time came for the purification rites required by the Law of Moses, Joseph and Mary took him to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord 23(as it is written in the Law of the Lord, “Every firstborn male is to be consecrated to the Lord” b ), 24and to offer a sacrifice in keeping with what is said in the Law of the Lord: “ pair of doves or two young pigeons.”
So do you also take a pair of doves and two young pigeons to Jerusalem where the temple no longer exist to obey the laws of Moses?
How many child dedications happened in the temple in the Acts of the Apostles.
Note; Nothing is wrong with going to the Church to dedicate a child, but if one can't for any reason, the body of Christ (the church) is where believers gather IN HIS NAME; not in the name of money or a G.O. but in the name of Jesus.
Thank you for the scriptures.
DeleteYour mum in-law is an inconsiderate human being. She knows how hard things are for her son, yet she still won’t pity the poor man.
ReplyDeleteIt’s an unfortunate situation. When she comes, respect and treat her nice. Do not buy her anything when she’s leaving. You should focus on your child now.
Some mothers are not just it. Sorry you have such a woman for a mum in-law.
I really don’t understand why your sis in-laws and church members labeled you a witch. They are crazy.
Are you supposed to kill your self for their mum?
I love that your mum left when she did before they say it was your mum that instigated you into treating her that way.
Responsible/exposed parents don’t expect much for their kids....if you give them, it’s fine. If you don’t have to give them, they won’t even bother.
What did she get you and your baby when she came for omugwo? She’s allergic to stale food, mtcwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Face your child and make sure he doesn’t lack anything.
Yes, that woman is inconsiderate and I'm going to blame her husband too for all the nonsense the wife is passing through in the hand of his mother.
DeleteWhat rubbish is this.
A beggar with choice. 😂😂😂 I have seen mother in laws going to see their children loading everything loadable from their end. The poster is a super woman. You will eat whatever everybody is eating or you go to the kitchen.
DeleteYour mother in-law is not a considerate person and a person who is not a considerate person is labelled by me as a wicked Peron.
ReplyDeleteEven her pastor that called you is also an inconsiderate person, including her daughters.
Why did you even informed her about the dedication?
Call her and tell her that it's a small dedication and there will be no need of her coming.
Some mothers are so wicked mehn and their daughters usually enables them; forgetting that they will also get married.
Please, stop spending on unnecessary things. Let your yes be your yes and your no be your no.
Stop taking calls from sister in-laws and pastors who does not care about you.
This chronicle got me upset
Chai, this kind of woman eh
ReplyDeleteHer husband must be living in the desert, if he has not died
what has your husband done to resolve this, or is he pushing to the forefront so they will call you the wicked woman and witch.... tell him to man up and treat the issue
ReplyDeleteBut why do some "pastors" get themselves inserted into family affairs?
ReplyDeleteLook at what Jesus taught and did:
Luke 12:13Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.”
14Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” 15Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.”
So who do these "pastors" represent, 🐍?
😮😮
God, how I detest people who are always entitled! You know the condition of your son and his wife, yet want them to move mountains. What are your contributions. I remember when my sis and her husband hit a rough patch. My mum sent yams, plantains, oil and garri over to a totally different state to help them out. My sister called me saying the foodstuffs were too much. You cannot be collecting and collecting! Totally wrong! Her son should call her to order. Poster grow a thick skin. Do not borrow to please her. Let her call you all names. Fine. Since you do not have, do not stretch it!She can come for dedication, as grandmother but as you have no money, hold yourself. Let her go and continue telling her church members. You no get, you no get.
ReplyDeleteYour mama ne beta woman not like this poster's mum. i wont be shocked if she is possessed.
DeleteStella you made me laugh so much with your advice, pls madam allow her come, keep cooking ugu soup with no fish or oil for 3 days she will eventually leave, you guys should have gone ahead with your dedication without informing anyone.
ReplyDeleteMother inlaw from hell.
DeleteDon't know why some men can't talk to their mother.
Making the wife to look like a bad person.
Madam talk to your husband to tell his mom to remain in her husband's house.
Poster STOP CREATING A FALSE IMPRESSION
Deleteat the cost of your savings
your peace
your marriage
STOP
Be cordial, firm and no do pass your self oo
Stella your comment made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteVery funny chronicle as far as I am concerned.
ReplyDeleteMadam, she is acting like that cos you and your husband enabled her. Cook 3 times a day! I laugh in Swahili. Anyway, you've showed her you have the stamina and cash to do those things you did. Can't you go to your family house to be taken care of as a new mum? If you can't, discuss with your husband and stop doing things beyond your power biko.
Oh dear you don nwii for that woman hand, she is very wicked!
ReplyDeletei blame your husband, very weak man. if na my hubby eh, he will not hesitate to warn his mother straight up. Sit your hubby down and ask him what you guys are going to do since she wants to come again.
Those yeye sister in law of yours will not tolerate all this crap from your mil and she will not even try it at their place. Shior!
It is this kind of chronicle that makes me say hate some naija families with their poverty mentality,local and dump folks who think they are god simply cos you married their son.
ReplyDeleteMy mom did omugwor for my sister without collecting a dime or gift from her son in law cos she knew their condition, she knew they were processing their immigration stuff and couldn't afford all that luxury, she even spent her money to feed them,all she was after was for them to go to their desired country and have a better future for their kids, which thank God they are there now & doing very well.
She and my dad did omugwor for my other sis ,that wasn't even married, she fell pregnant,her boo didn't have much and we all gave her the support,carried her son like the king he is, fast forward to now they are married and had another son, guess what mom did omugwor again and without asking for anything in return the gifts were flowing, so rewarding. She didn't condition anyone or ask for. These poverty stricken educated but senseless mofos with no sympathy want to show off what they don't have,they think they can spoil your joy and you let them do it. omugwor is not about gifts,it is about showing love,if no one doesn't wanna show you love you ignore them totally.
No empathy whatsoever! Treating their daughterinlaws the way they deem fit. I am very sure she distributed the gifts among church members, no wonder those ones carry the matter on their head like gala.
DeleteMy mom for u
DeleteThere is no "r" in Omugwo. Dont anglicize it. Omugwo is an Igbo word
DeletePoster talk to your husband to tell his mum that she should not bother coming for the dedication because the dedication is on a low key no money for anything big.
ReplyDeleteThis is when your husband needs to put his feet down. He needs to make his mum understand that he is broke.
ReplyDeleteMy sister, carry ur bag and ur baby, go to ur mother's house let her take care of u this period. After ur wound heal and u are strong enough, u come back to ur house. Don't even worry about it if mama comes or not. When she come, her son will take care of her or she will take care of her son. Don't argue at all. In laws always behave as if their brothers/sons are the wife's god. Nonsense mentality.
ReplyDeleteI disagree with u poster, why must u be the bearer of bad news. Every word,I repeat every word, complain, rejection etc should come from ur husband. I wonder how yaa husband twisted his mouth when presenting the rice and co. I bet he made it clear it's from him and him alone. Had it been,he said from both of us, u wouldn't have gone round two shopping. Since he does not complain, why should u. This dedication, pls just shut up and allow him talk, if she comes,just dey look.i have a feeling u too show urself hence the constant reporting. Pls just close ur mouth and observe.
ReplyDeleteI want to believe you here. The man made it known to his mother that the gift came from him.
DeleteThe guy no try in all of this, his behavior he's giving his mother to misbehave.
Yes or maybe she's got herself a manipulating canterkerous MIL.
DeleteI sorry for poster sha
Nne! Sister! No other of doing it. Open mouth wide and tell his mother there shall be no dedication hence need to come.
ReplyDeleteIt could backfire because the husband would go and say a different thing.
DeleteBut did n't you see this woman that behave this way and the son stands aloof when you went on to marry this man?
ReplyDeleteWho knows if she was pretending then?
Delete😂😂😂
DeleteI blame Ur mom and Ur hubby
ReplyDeleteEsp the hubby. Tolerating rubbish. This how homes break up.
DeleteI am allergic to weak ass men!!!!
ReplyDeletePoster go to ur mom's. Your husband can take care of his mom till his ready to stand up to her.
This result marrying a weak man that can't talk. Ladies please be very careful. The dating stage is time to test and observe the man not just pretending to be nice so that marriage will come quick. The man should work to make sure you are comfortable and impressed by him not the other way around. Women are the prize in marriage not men because Women make a man's life better by being in it. Women birth children for the man to continue his legacy, women cook, provide moral support and feminine peaceful environment to cool the mans masculine vibes down. I don't know why Nigerians refuse to just understand this simple fact of life! Reason so many marriages are crumbling in naija and so many cheating and mistreating of wife is because the men are seen as the prize and allowed to get away with what ever
DeleteAnon 17:38
DeleteGbamsolutely
@poster,your mother in-law is an entitled madam and you're an enabler. Next time let your yes be yes and your no be no. Learn to stand up for yourself bcos if you don't who will? If I were you since I'm broke I won't cook any three square meal fresh food everyday, I won't buy any omugwo gift either for wetin now. I will insist I'm broke and stand by my words. I don't do eye service to please anybody fah. So pick up that phone now and tell her she's not welcome bcos you and her son are currently broke without even money to feed. Don't be a push around in your own matrimonial home. Learn to be the boss of your family. I have an entitled mother in-law too and each time she starts singing she needs this or that I will just pretend like I'm deaf.
ReplyDeleteLol@ deaf
DeleteIn my own case my husband is the only son. Her daughters told her that it's wrong for her to stay with them but ok to stay with us cos its her son's house. My husband lost his job at that time and I was the one sustaining the family. My MIL will tell me what she wants and how she wants it. I got so upset one morning after preparing yam as breakfast while getting ready for work. My MIL sat at the dinning and asked for semo. I told her i have made yam, but she refused. I made the semo for her that morning. I had a serious argument with my husband to call his mum to order, otherwise I will leave the house for him and his mum. Some MIL can so have this mentality sha. Especially when things are down and you are trying to manage with what you have while trying to get up. And the family doesn't want her to know the wife is the one financing the family at that point in time.
ReplyDeleteIf you had stood your ground on the yam what would have happened?
DeleteSome families sha. The truth should be told at all times. If you don't have, let them know. Do what you can, if they can't understand and manage, let them leave. Na wa ooo.
DeleteYou for no even do the semo for her.
DeleteNa for naija dat kind evil fit happen me wey go catch train by 5.39 am for cold naim wan cook yam and semo come arrest me
DeleteHonestly only in Nigeria ! Me living in London’s would be running around mother in law when I Have kids and a job to go to? Tufia
DeleteLol @ 19.36. I tell you. Who has time for all these abroad? Wake up And prepare semo before going to work,🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣, be cooking 3 times a day?? Fresh food?? Abeg let me laugh again🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteAs in eh, nobody is as shocked as I am. Morning that everyone is rushing for work. You only have time to grab coffee, yoghurt, breakfast bar, fruit plate or quick oats. Who eats semo in the morning? Who Eats 3 full meals a day? However I heard of someone the MIL stresses her even in the abroad, to pound yam for her visitors, and the lady was just recovering from C-section. Just horrible.
DeleteIt’s really unfortunate when mothers who should know better treat their sons wives like this and your sister in laws too calling you over fish,they should house their mum.Let your husband do the calling,don’t involve yourself.If she insist on coming,go to your parents house.
ReplyDeleteVery simple
DeletePray for this issue to.have permanent solution
Is your husband an invalid? He doesn't talk? What's he saying in all of this? Let him just tell them he's broke, period, he didn't kill anyone.
ReplyDeleteI trust my mother, she will feed you and your husband with her money but nobody will ever put her out of her childs house with bad attitude. She will return the favor, but she will never leave her child with such callousness. She will always warn my in-laws that she has a son too and she doesn't interfere or mistreat her sons wife so everybody should drink their medicine o and take care of her daughter. Lol, she will literally tell them that everyone has madness o but thank God she found Jesus when she did. Essentially, she is telling them not to try her. My sisters dont say pim, their husbands do the fighting on their behalf.
ReplyDeleteSometimes playing it safe is not always going to work. Stop allowing that woman come to that house before she scatters your home. She seems to be on a mission. You better be prayerful.
do we have the same mother?
DeleteYour mother is a mother in Israel. Give her an extra hug for me. It all starts with how the lady is presented to her husband's family and how she presents herself. No one will dare try such rubbish in our family. My sister in law so enjoys us. No omugwo rubbish. We just send her lots of gifts and money and only go to their house when invited, to the extent that she even complains that we should be more involved. We are too busy to be poke nosing.
DeleteGod forbid that I marry a man who cannot speak for himself.
ReplyDeleteAll of you are at fault here.
1. Your husband who cannot put his feet down about certain issues and stand up to his family in order to protect his wife.
2. You, who decided to be the sacrificial lamb, spending money and time cooking food that you and your husband haven’t eaten, and being a mouthpiece to say truths that your husband feels too cowardly to say, thereby incurring the hatred of your in laws.
3. Your mother.
Yes your mother who left her baby and grand baby in the midst of uncaring people.
My mum once went to do omugwo for my sister and didn’t like the situation in the house. Her hubby's relatives about 4 of them were there stressing my sister so much that her milk stopped flowing.
My mom brought her back home with the baby after a week there and didn’t take her back till my BIL received sense and put his house in order.
Well. I believe people are different but your change will start from when your husband decides to be a man.
Your mom is a strong woman who has shown she really loves her daughter. God bless her.
DeleteI like your mother. No time for nonsense. I wish more parents valued their daughters like this.
DeletePoster, all I typed just wiped off. But your husband is the problem and not your MIL. Is he deaf and dumb? Can't he talk? You shouldn't be at the front. Why is he the man? Let him address his mum.in short I'm pissed.
ReplyDeleteI can see why people consider family of their spouses before marrying. What a pride(less) family. My mum won't behave like this not in a million years but let's say she does, she won't even call me. Let's say she calls and tells me this sort of rubbish and I call my sister in law to vomit trash? I will say to her go back to your house or come to my house. Poverty is a disease sha. May we have money and God forbid we don't have, may we not have poverty mentality. The so called sister in laws should cater for their mother. Anyway you started taking their BS so maybe you should continue. Your husband doesn't stand up for you from the look of things. Hope you are/were not among those insulting Meghan Markle? Your husband should deal with his family period.
ReplyDeleteSingles
DeleteAvoid spineless men
Avoid men that have nobody they are answerable to
In this case, your husband is the problem madam.he should be bold enough to fight for you as his mother is just a temporary visitor and must let things be dat way. As for her entitlement, you won't sell your parts to fund her greed, so relax whenever she shows off her attitude. Cancel the dedication and if she insists on coming,let her but stay in your lane and do your chores according to your strength.
ReplyDeleteFunny enough this your chronicle is just nothing compared to mine. I just told my mum in-law that we don't have then she changed her pattern. She will just call and tell us that she is with her first son that we should send money for hospital. When we send she will give them the money then she will come to our house and tell us how her first son and his family don't have food, so she gave them the money and she did not use it for hospital again. She will now ask my husband to take her to the hospital with another money. This first son have built his own house while we are still tenant. Women and their funny behavior.
ReplyDeleteEbelebe
DeleteShut down this foolishness ASAP
DeleteOn your knees and with firmness Call your husband to order with wisdom
If you see how this your chronicle made me angry ee 😫💔😕😏. God you know every sha......
ReplyDeleteI have been treated worse than this and guess what,my husband won't say one word to side me. I stopped taking shits when I got tired and I didn't do much. I just stopped calling her and given response to all she has to say, when she comes to my house. I will serve her what I have and sit with my husband to watch TV. I don't even allow her do anything for me. She stopped facing me and started facing my husband that he should call me to order,that was how that one started with her,what's my own its son against mother,I started laughing inside me. Now my husband doesn't even want to see her, I beg him to always check up on her though and send her allowance but stopped interceding on her behalf for any special treatment. My silence is killing her now. Plenty story, can't type much. Stella should do something on mother nlaw again,plenty things to write abt
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm you'll be someone's mother in law someday. Just saying.
DeleteAll I’m hearing is It ‘my mother in law’
ReplyDeleteAre you married to a woman or a man? Where is your husband? Why are you the one buying omugwo things? The family and the pastor that are calling a nursing mother to buy omugwo things are very shameless.
And your husband sat back watching all of this happen? I don’t know what to say really
This is a topic close to my heart. I'm just now forgiving my inlaw. If I tell you what I went through at the early stages ehn! Hers is even worse cos she uses church to cover face. I'll work like jacky from morning till night, i even serve her food in the confort of her room. I took a decision that I couldn't continue like that so now I put me first. I can't die because of marriage.
ReplyDeleteYour hubby should call his mum to order, why can't he protect you as his wife
ReplyDeleteOn your motherin laws frist visit you showed her you had strength else she won't have had mouth to stress you like that, as she's complaining not waist pain you for lift leg for air they do your own drama
As for omugwo you would have gone to your mum's house, even though I don't support your m leaving the way she did you would have left with her let's see if your mum In law won't cook or go back home
If she wants to come for the dedication, and your hubby refuses to say anything just let her come, and jeje te your hubby to post pone the dedication and park your things to your mother's place and stay for omugwo tell him since she didn't complete her omugwo your going for her to do it, so you can also rest as your stressed out
When your mother In law borrows herself sense to leave you come back do your baby dedication on a Sunday and close the chapter
If this is so true, then its pathetic... Mother inlaws should be home makers and supporters... The man should be able to talk to his mother about her aggressive nature towards his wife. If he can do so, then he's not fit to be married.
ReplyDeleteAnd where is your husband in all this?? When I read you took out of your own money to feed her I made up my mind the fact that he watched you do that without flinching tells me all I need to know about the kind of man he is. A dusty. Sis you did not marry well, sorry to say. That man does not cherish you Both husband and his mother are a disgrace. Or maybe you are too nice and too generous and settled and sacrificed so much in dating stage. So marriage stage now is something else. This is result of people saying woman must settle n build man up to what they want or go 50/50 or build with a man. Tell me why any man worth being called husband will fold his arms and watch his wife dip hands into her pocket n suffer to feed his own bloody mother for that matter?!! Pls tell me why husband's sisters and mother have so much guts to disrespect you ???
ReplyDeleteNot all men are marriage material because they do not know what it takes
DeleteNot a big wallet
Or a functional penis
But true leadership characteristics
Anon 17:28, chop 👊. When it is not as if the woman has one emergency condition and all her kids have spent all they have, a grown ass man would watch you spend your sweat feeding his cow of a mother then watch with eyes open as you convert the last of your savings into wrapper and other gifts? On what planet? Financing a lie??? Faking it to celebrity level? Is omugwo a contract? He was breathing in and out at a normal pace while you were made to cook three times a day? After having a baby??? Without his bastardry, you won't be burdened with a local champion mgbeke mother in-law like this. He is a broken edge exposing you to insults. If his balls actually descended, he would have called her into a room and the noises from his throat would even make you call the neighbours to rescue her. RUBBISH.
DeleteThis result marrying a weak man that can't talk. Ladies please be very careful. The dating stage is time to test and observe the man not just pretending to be nice so that marriage will come quick. Also observe his family closely and be strong not to allow dick cloud judgement. I say give it time and allow the man invest in you before u open leg so that u can see road freely before marriage. The signs will be very subtle but will be there. When u guys fight and ur man is in the wrong, what do the family members do?? Whose side do they take?? The man should work to make sure you are comfortable and impressed by him not the other way around. Women are the prize in marriage n dating not men because Women make a man's life better by being in it. Women birth children for the man to continue his legacy, women cook, provide moral support and feminine peaceful environment to cool the mans masculine vibes down. Dont forget women provide what men desire and need Aka SEX. . I don't know why Nigerians refuse to just understand this simple fact of life! Reason so many marriages are crumbling in naija and so many cheating and mistreating of wife is because the men are seen as the prize and allowed to get away with what ever
ReplyDeleteWomen be careful the kind of family u marry into. If possible make friends with your in laws wives and find out how they are being treated. On surface all is fine but dig deep and u will see some are being treated like SLAVES in their own homes. My ex bf family, his cousin married a wife and then one day wife and his cousin had a fight. Family sided with the guy ofkos and showed the girl pepper. They ignored her,
ReplyDeleteat times her baby will be crying and they will not help her pick the baby. The husband too, overgrown child, was joining in the fun. Couldn't overlook the ego to tend to his wife and soften his heart. The family basically told her that no matter what the husband is always right n she must respect him. Poor girl had to mellow to keep her home. Omo i fear when I hear the story o because it remain small my overzealous mother was trying to hook me up with the guy. Anyway kolewerk because I am strong headed and wouldn't get past dating stage where they test to see if ur weak. It was all these yoruba families where they feel they are doing wife a favour so she must bow. Smh. They relocated the babe abroad to be with them so they felt they did girl a huge favour. Hmm at times I hear married women saga and wonder do I really wanna marry naija man??.
Poster you better be wise, let your husband talk to his mother, and make sure she doesn't come around again, ah ah which kind Chronicle of suppression be this.
ReplyDelete"cooked 3 different meal everyday cos she doesn't repeat food in a day and also allergic to stale food." Whaaaaat!! You've got to be kidding me. I am single and have never cooked this way and you did this in your condition? Who has time for 3 different full meals every single day? Which adult eats like that? Is that how your MIL lives at her own house or she just said that to stress you? Upon her son is not even rich? Wow. Now I believe that some Nigerian women were raised to please men and hate women..they only have power for their female subordinates..househelps, daughter-in-law, junior students..they'll show their full wickedness. But in front of men, be it driver, gateman, son-in-law, they will become humble pick-me's. Poster goodluck with that family oh, you're in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteYou have said all, we Nigerians ladies we have raised to please me and it's so annoying 😡
DeleteGbam! Perfect description of an average Nigerian woman.
DeleteAll i can say is go and get very good birth control. Dont stay there borning and borning then you will now become totally helpless. A word us enough fo the wise.
ReplyDelete🤔👍
DeleteYou need to toughen up, no sme sme sme in your husband's house. Know when to be soft and know when to be assertive.
ReplyDeleteDo not be rude but be assertive, take a decision and do not budge.
There is nothing anybody can do to you plus his senseless sisters.
That your mumu husband is pathetic, he us3 a chicken.
Please stand up for yourself and stop the nonsense.
Lesson number 1...NEVER START WHAT YOU CANNOT FINISH IN MARRIAGE AND IN LAW BROUHAHA. If you like serve them your flesh...the greedy family member will never appreciate it, ever. The earlier you start being real the better for you. To think you didnt give your mom anything, very disappointed in you.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is the problem here. Can't he handle his family? Did you MIL tell you she is coming for the dedication or she told your husband? either way don't stop her. Your husband has that responsibility to speak with her and if he doesn't let her come but don't do more than yourself to please her. Give her what you have (what her son can provide). If she complains tell her you don't have anything as you have not gone out to business since you put to bed and what you gave her is what her son can afford.
ReplyDeleteAs for the Omugo stuff, you made mistake going out of your way to buy what you cannot afford. Your husband should man up and put his family in check and if he is unfortunately among the men who can stand up for their wives, no be small cross you carry oo. You will have to stand up for yourself but do it respectfully.
Every penny given to a newborn is for the child and must only be used to cater, open an account or raise an altar for that child. The MIL is a witch and so are her daughters. Older than me or not, if they want their mother to eat fish, they'll send the money or she eats what I have. Inukwa use my capital/shop money to feed MIL even if she is a Mary. By herself, na she go carry herself commot for my house, rubbish. Am I not someone's child? Am I there to build with her son or to destroy him? Even the wicked sisters doesn't know she is not supposed to come stay with the pregnant one especially one close to delivery? Even omugbuo, her son is supposed to provide that, not me.
ReplyDeleteYou and your husband is the cause of all this. Tell your husband to tell his mum not to come that you guys has postpone the dedication. But if she eventually come, dont give chance again like before. Cook whatever you have and never go out of your way because of her again. And let this serve as a warning for you never to start what you cant finish by going out of your way to please people.
ReplyDelete