STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
'SICK' HUSBAND
Some ladies are actually going through this in their marriage.😠
MY HUSBAND SLAPPED ME FOR DENYING HIM S#X
We have only been married for three (3) months. February 12 was my husband’s birthday, but being that it fell on a Wednesday, we decided to mark it on Saturday, February 16. We hosted friends to a-get-together in our home. I did a lot to make the day memorable. The last group of friends left around 9:30pm and by the time we were done cleaning up, it was about 11pm.
We had our bath and all I could think of was sleep, but my husband was thinking differently. He wanted sex, but I was just too tired for anything so I said NO and asked him to wait until morning.
My husband angrily left the bedroom and I drifted off to sleep because I was too tired, but I was woken up with a slap in my face. I thought I was dreaming, but I wasn’t. I was startled when I saw that it was my husband who actually dealt me a slap!
As I wanted to ask him what the issue was, he gave me another slap and said I had no right to deny him s#x. I was forced to slap him back, but that made him angrier, he hit me back and pinned me down- I struggled with him, but he overpowered me. He tore my nightwear and RAPED me to his satisfaction.
I still do not believe this happened.
I was too tired- was I wrong to ask him to wait until the next day?
Was he right to have slapped me?
Was he right to have raped me?
S#X! Should it have been because of s#x? We still had s#x a night before- in fact early that morning- three (3) hot rounds.
It’s been three days after the incident, he’s still feeling fly like he was right.
What do I do pls?
Some ladies are actually going through this in their marriage.😠
MY HUSBAND SLAPPED ME FOR DENYING HIM S#X
We have only been married for three (3) months. February 12 was my husband’s birthday, but being that it fell on a Wednesday, we decided to mark it on Saturday, February 16. We hosted friends to a-get-together in our home. I did a lot to make the day memorable. The last group of friends left around 9:30pm and by the time we were done cleaning up, it was about 11pm.
We had our bath and all I could think of was sleep, but my husband was thinking differently. He wanted sex, but I was just too tired for anything so I said NO and asked him to wait until morning.
My husband angrily left the bedroom and I drifted off to sleep because I was too tired, but I was woken up with a slap in my face. I thought I was dreaming, but I wasn’t. I was startled when I saw that it was my husband who actually dealt me a slap!
As I wanted to ask him what the issue was, he gave me another slap and said I had no right to deny him s#x. I was forced to slap him back, but that made him angrier, he hit me back and pinned me down- I struggled with him, but he overpowered me. He tore my nightwear and RAPED me to his satisfaction.
I still do not believe this happened.
I was too tired- was I wrong to ask him to wait until the next day?
Was he right to have slapped me?
Was he right to have raped me?
S#X! Should it have been because of s#x? We still had s#x a night before- in fact early that morning- three (3) hot rounds.
It’s been three days after the incident, he’s still feeling fly like he was right.
What do I do pls?
ha!!!...I dont know what to say oh....You have a big problem on your hands...
So you did not notice that the man you married is sick towards gbenshing?watch who stays with you cos he will molest them as well....How can a husband rape his wife?Madam your husband is sick!!!
Stella the person that sent this just want people's opinions, it's a very popular post on social media.
ReplyDeletePeople shouldn't send in what's not real again, I'm very sure there are many other genuine chronicles you abandoned for this copy and paste post
*Larry was here*
See wetin Buhari regime dey turn some men into. Chai
DeleteSorry dear.
Poster, if you have any plans whatsoever to remain in that marriage, please go for some serious self defense and Martial arts training! Because, you would definitely be needing it.
DeleteNo I'm not joking because, if I were in your shoes and I decided to stay (just in case I have praying mantis in my brain) that's exactly what I'd do.
P.s; while at it, learn the art of overpowering and raping a husband also...
Women. Always seeking means of dragging men down to their level, or beneath them.
DeleteWhen I was a young man whose marriage was few months old, I could've gladly done what guyman did with utmost impunity; in hindsight, he's absolutely right. But as an elderly somebody with decades experience behind my marriage, I'd just gladly take a walk to the nearest hotel and call any of my closest side chick to come and cool my engine. Kpatakpata, wifee won't see me in a couple of days.
Anyways, na rifraffs or breadwinners dey deny their husbands sex. They deserve what they get.
You are not a king, you are a rifraff
DeleteWow! Don't even know what to say honestly...this is very unfortunate.
ReplyDeletePlease, poster with no intent to abuse, your husband is sick or takes drug to boost his sexual performance. You people are married for only 3 months. Was there a courtship? Did you engage in premarital intercourse? How was he then? If not, how did he cope with no intercourse during the courtship period?
DeleteFacts first. No human being has the right to lay his or her hands on another inform of beating. It is barbaric and should not be accepted. He slapped you once, I am not being negative but he will do it again.
No sane human being can rape another not even an animal. Every no should be respected. He raped you once, he will rape you again. What manner of a man rape his wife anyway?
Any person who does not respect his spouse wish lacks understanding. If you love rapes spouse, you should understand their lights by looking at them.
I don’t know your relationship before this incident but your man has some issues and communication is not yet strong between the two of you. A birthday get together would have ended in appreciation, hugs, cuddle, intimacy whether penetrative or not, sleep depending on mutual feeling. But the he-goat in your house is high on something on mentally sick.
Sit him down and ask him what happened. This might elaborate who he is to you. That man will eventually need help. His answer will help in your next step. If you keep quiet, he will continue to beat and rape you at will. My! Where do we get all these men from? His reaction will lead you to the next step. Do not allow this to pass without addressing it. He will do it again.
And I read Abuja has recorded more than 4000 divorce cases in 2020 already?
DeleteSadly, more will come with stories like this!
It's so unfortunate men are permitted to get away with horrible stuffs like this.
So he can't hold body or wait for your own horny moments to ignore you (that's what me and my man do; till one person bursts into crazy laffs)? He had to slap you?
No matter what anyone says, we know you are not going anywhere.
Know that if you let this go, more horrors awaits you in this marriage o! Find a way to address this issue because once they get away with slap, forget it. He will get bold with beating you to a pulp.
If anyone told me our generation will see this silly patriarchal madness, would have laughed and said it's impossible! But with what I read here everyday, I am using torchlight to *find* our so called gentle male classmates that were condemning their dads way back.
Women of this generation forgive me gave the male of this generation those wings by constantly *playing* stupid nice to look appealing for marriage and condemning the women speaking up for their rights!
God help una...
Poster i dont know if you'd take my advice but i'd go ahead and say it. DIVORCE THIS MAN IMMEDIATELY... not because of one slap or raping you oh, but because he doesnt care how you feel, he has showed you now oh, goodthing its just 3months, dont wait till youre tied down by kids or something else, go now and be free, if you dont you'd look back and regret you didnt earlier.
DeleteMaybe your husband recently got introduced to Masochism from porn or something. I say this because not only did he slap you, you said he RAPED you to his SATISFACTION. Or was he drunk after the party?
DeleteIf I were you, I would have left that house. Your husband is sick in the head to be able to rape you and ejaculate. You staying has normalized that experience and it will continue. If I were you, somebody else will hear it, in fact police might hear it only that Nigerian police will say it is family matter.
I am cringing. I strongly advice you to leave. If you want to continue with your marriage just be prepared for the unending future countless brutal rapes in future (and chronicles). Be prepared to be raped even after childbirth and the resultant stitches as even this will not be a deterrent.
DeleteBare in mind that third parties will try to shift blame to you and ignore the fact that you are the one being steadily violated. You can listen to them if your VJ can take that kind of treatment. S*x is not an obligatory chore that is thrust on a wife that she must do no matter how she feels. If your husband cared 1 kobo for you he could have either tried a little foreplay or even let you rest if you are so exhausted that foreplay did not work. This makes me wonder how your courtship went. I wish you luck.
Ohhh... I just saw that you’ve been married for Only 3 months. Your husband is definitely not normal mentally. He’s probably kept this sick part of him hidden through courtship (assuming you were not abstinent). He has paraphilic tendencies and if you know you aren’t into Sadism and Masochism, you better run
Deleteha. this is the begining of a tough time unfortunately. please do not take it lightly because this is the start of manipulation. just imagine only 3 months and already you need to nip it in the bud and before it escalates.
ReplyDeleteThis is the best advice you can get. Nip it at the bud!!! Don't take it lightly oh!!! Ask God to convict him. May he know no peace until he See's that what he did was very very wrong!!!
DeleteMaybe you should learn not to tell him no whenever he want sex. I believe you must have seen all this before getting married to him.
ReplyDeleteHappy married life.
Don you're evil sometimes.
Deleteor probably he likes it rough, u must have seen signs when u guys were dating
DeleteThere is NOTHING good or funny about your mindset on women. They need to send you back to KG3 , reboot you and TRAIN you better!
DeleteNa wa for you oh, if na your sister will this be your response?
DeleteBros ehhhhh!Nawa o!
DeleteThis chronicle don cast.
DeleteSaw it on Facebook.
Cast or not, alot of women have suffered this... and are still suffering it, even under one month sef
DeleteDon is the only one telling poster the truth here.
Deletenext time just open the shop for him let him take what he wants. that your down below shop now belongs to both of you
Me that enjoy violence sex I no go mind
DeleteDon and anonymous 16:45, both of you are two sick animals! Two sick individuals. I won’t be surprised you hit women and rape too. You both lack self worth. I have seen a few of your comments and I wonder why Stella allows them. SICKOS
Delete@1645, l am very sorry but you also need help.
DeleteI meant Don and anon 16:40.
DeleteFor 16:45, There is nothing wrong with enjoying violent sex. Consent is key.
Anon 16:32
DeleteWhy masturbate under my comment.
I've been reading this Don's comment all the while and I must say he has zero respect for the female race. SMH
DeleteI'm speechless! 3months old marriage?
ReplyDeleteJesus fix this! 😭😭
Amen in Jesus name. Haba!
DeletePls let me borrow space here
DeleteMadam poster YOU NEED TO ESCALATE THIS ISSUE SUCH THAT HE WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO TRY IT OUT AGAIN.
infact you need to make a big fuss about it, report him to his family, let his friends be aware that he is a wife beater, report him to your family and elders who you feel he respects.
Don't keep quiet because if you do then he will get worse over time.
I say escalate it so that he will shamed and rebuked into becoming the gentle man he ought to...Trust me Nigerian men hate to be seen less than a hero.
Remove his superstar status on the outside and watch him calm down by force.
He's an abuser so you have to beat him at his game, YOU MUST NOT LET THIS ISSUE BE SWEPT UNDER THE RUG SO IT DOESN'T REPEAT ITSELF.ADDRESS IT HEADS ON NOW!
Note: you only slapped him back in self defence...As a human being you have a right to defend yourself against any form of abuse, so don't let anyone shame you into accept that it's your fault
LEP 😛
1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.
Delete@LEP
DeleteI did not expect to see you write anything less. You hate anything God or godly institution like marriage.
So escalating it to breaking point feeds the demons in you.
Yes, the woman does not have authority over her body. But she is still human. And if you read her story they did the do the morning before 3x. The kindest thing for him would have been I understand let's rest and visit in the morning. Was she going to travel, or have they not been doing it? She has a body and gets tired and it also comes with mood. The man is sick and selfish. Its about him. And on top of it he had to slap her. Has she ever denied him?
DeleteShe had a good reason to say no so where is the anger coming from?/
Her rights start where his stops. She's got rights too. She acted in reflex when he slapped her again and she slapped back. Remember she was asleep.
Kai the guy is sick. She should make noise about this issue to her pastor or an elderly couple. If not this episode will be repeated.
Does that mean anytime she is not in the mood he will slap or beat her?
Poster treat this asap. If not its just the beginning.
I have seen this story on face book and some other blogs. I wonder if it's true or just made up. Madam you cannot be posting your story all over town. This is fake. Enjoy the slaps.
ReplyDeleteVery fake
Delete😅😅😅😅😅 enjoy the slap ko
Delete"Empathy"
ReplyDeleteThis is what alot of men lack, your husband is the type of man that "wants what he wants when he wants it" regardless of who gets hurt in the process, terrible attitude!
Welcome to marital life madam, where you'd have to make tough decisions with the problem lying next to you...
I read this on instagram last week.
ReplyDeleteAnd the instagram page said they copied from a Facebook page.
So poster did this really happen, or is this a figment of your imagination
There is nothing to do except to talk with this man. You are no saint here, seeing that you "slapped him back". If not for that, the advice would have been different.
ReplyDeleteYou can't open your mouth and convince a third party that your husband "raped you".
This is just three months into this marriage, aren't you supposed to be on honeymoon and the denial of sex and slaps has started?
What attracted you to this man, tell us the truth and work from there. There must have been nice qualities that he has that made you marry him.
🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
Like seriously? You are already declaring this poster guilty.
DeletePlease, what is really her crime?
So, she should have allowed him blind her with slaps...
There is nothing nice about rapist
@Ms. A
DeleteI don't think I wrote up there that anything is wrong about a rapist.
Nothing is right also about slapping back. Or you want to contend with that one too?
Of course, everything is right with defending yourself.
DeleteDid you really that he slapped her while she was already asleep?
You don't wake people up with slap, its only beasts that does that.
go to any court of law in nigeria, a man cannot rape his wife. he paid for the puna already, you can't steal what is already yours
Delete"Read"
DeleteAnon 16:37 you are welcome! President of spousal rapist association. Apparently once a woman is married she looses complete ownership of her own body because of a piece of paper. Fools.
Delete@1637. Really?? What is the definition of rape??
DeleteCertain things only happen to some people. Go and marry a billionaire’s daughter Or even any influential person’s daughter and see if you walk free after raping her.
But you slapped back, didn't you?
ReplyDeleteSo why whine about rape from your own husband?
You're sick anon. Very sick
DeleteYou are very stupid. I am not the poster but you are senseless. If you slap your wife expect to be slapped back. Both men and women should learn to keep their hands to themselves. She is not your daughter, even your daughter you don't lay your hands on because she is not your slave and even your slave you don't physically abuse because you are not her God. I saw a situation a woman always slapped her maid for the littlest mistake after a while the maid got tired and slapped her back. I was beyond thrilled. You aren't doing anyone a favour by working for you. It's a service rendered and you aren't paying anyone for free.
DeleteI wish I can know you and date you that is if you are a woman and you make the mistake of lifting a finger. You will regret you were ever created and if you are a woman who wrote this, then you are a disgrace to yourself and a caricature of a woman.
Poster...sorry I would rather not advice you.
Jesus!
DeleteSo in other words... She has no right to complain because according to your tiny dot you call a brain in your head, the rape was a compensation for the slap she returned even though he slapped her first? Whoever you are ehn, you don't have sense. Mtshewww
Delete"Why whine about rape from your "OWN" husband?"
Deleteso because the rapist was her husband it automatically makes the disgusting act palatable right and she has no right to complain?
Wetin Stella eye no go see for bv's comment😳
OMG!! There are people who actually supports rapist.
DeleteMay God have mercy on your wicked and devious soul.
DeleteAnon 15.09, she slapped back for self defense. My dear poster, your husband is a monster. Mothers, pls train your sons to have compassion. Ladies before marrying that man watch how his family treats him. If he is treated like a golden egg, his folks would never see any wrong in what he does.
DeleteBut she slapped him too. do you come to equity with soiled hands?
DeleteYes, only rapists support rapists.
DeleteMadam Poster, if he showed no sign of remorse, I’m afraid this is the beginning and he will not stop any time soon.
Sorry, please go somewhere away from home to ‘heal’ , strategize and decide what to do next.
But he slapped first madam equity
DeleteSo slapping him back makes it okay for him to rape her?
DeleteYou know what if feels like to be slapped while asleep?
That's a very dangerous move. This is how some stupid men push their wives outside. Will she still be sexually attracted to that man?
Sluttychic.
As in, hot slap while you slept....... The sight of standing beside you alone is freaking me. Hope no history of mental health thou
ReplyDeleteShut up. Give the man sex. If it were a sugar daddy now, will you tell him that you are tired?
ReplyDeletedon't mind her lol
Delete@1510, you shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
DeleteA sugar daddy will not slap her in a state of sleep.
Some of you are just arseholes!!!! Oloriibu rapists like You, your day of reckoning is close by.
DeleteI mean anons 15:10 and 16:42.
Swines.mtscheeww
15:10, since you want an answer...
DeleteA sugar daddy would probably have given her so much money that she would have paid caterers and cleaners to do the job she did.
She’d have probably gone for a massage in the morning too so she’d have been well rested and primed for him.
I hate nonsense.
Wetin person no go hear for this life. ... Poster,ur husband is a potential wife beater...
ReplyDeletePotential????
DeletePotential ?
DeleteSomeone that beat and raped her ?
Is still considered a potential wife beater ?
He is a wife beater and more .
Horseband from the satan side.
ReplyDeleteA slapping back wife from God's side?
DeleteAnd a slapping wife from God's side?
DeleteDo not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary,
repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.1 Peter 3:9
So how are you Judge?
Horseband from the satan side?? Lol.. nothing person no go hear.
Delete15:30 and 15:32 you are both SICK!
Delete@15:54
Deletecall the doctor.
Anon 15:32 next time someone slaps you, please plant a kiss on the person’s cheeks.
Delete@Tabby
DeletePlease interpret that Scripture for me
Alot of people attach so much importance to sex on their birthdays. I guess he is one of them. You still should have tried to allow him make love since it was his day.
ReplyDeleteHe did wrong slapping you...over sex? An understanding husband would get it that you are tired.
He did wrong raping you, haba. What kind of man is that? So crazy about sex. May God help you o.
To think you guys had sex early morning on his birthday. Something is wrong with him.
You see this man you married, better get prepared. Anytime you deny him sex, he'll beat you. Before you know it, he's getting it outside and would be bold to say you deny him sex. Since sex is his food, maybe you should get a house help to help out with chores and all of that so you can be less stressed to serve your husband his sex meal.
Sluttychic.
She should have tried?Even though she had spent the whole day exerting herself to make the day memorable for him?Even though she had sex with him thrice that morning?Even though she didn't write anywhere that she had made a habit of denying him sex?
DeleteHmmmm....okay o
Sluttychic babe, she should have tried, how?
DeleteShe must have been so exhausted... I don't know how men enjoy sexual intercourse with women who are not in the mood.
They had sex in the morning of that same day...
That man is a monster and should be dealt with.
He slapped her while she was already asleep, that alone is a crime. You don't wake people up with aggression
Lmao 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 do married people get tired when it comes to legitimate pounding?
DeleteSluttychic.
Slutty chic! She should have tried? You are also sick!
DeleteThe lady even tried. She went three rounds in the morning. Morning oh!! Then the person still want more after a very active day. She be jackal!? The man is a sex maniac and needs help as soon as possible
DeleteWhat again is making love if one person has to be cajoled or practically forced to engage in it??? That is far from definition of making love.
DeleteFor someone who had 3 hot rounds earlier that day oh.
Please call a spade a spade, there's no need sugarcoating it.
The man is a pig! This is one of the rapists who have been getting away with their crime in times past, e no start today.
And YES! Married people get tired of legitimate pounding!!
DeleteMaybe he was under the influence of alcohol or just tried to show you his true colour. Well forgive him or separate from him for sometime. He has no right to slap you!
ReplyDeleteI read this in another platform few days ago abi someone shared it on Facebook?
Under the influence of which alcohol?? And he hasn't apologized in 3 days?
DeletePoster, you're asking if you are wrong? How long did you date this psycho? Hmmmmm ,you are in for a long thing, you mean he has no qualms hitting you,raping you, and still unrepentant after three days?? My dear, that is a sicko you are married to, am afraid, it might continue, because it was actually intentional. God,s strength on you, because I wouldn't even sleep in same house that night, talk more of second guessing my reaction and intent.
ReplyDeleteYou will be shocked if most married women tell you their experiences. The reality is that rape is very rampant in most marriages but it is not really talked about bcos its ‘husband and wife’. So people do not talk about it but rather push it to the back of their minds and rather classify it among ‘things that happen in marriages’. Whether he is her husband or not, this poster’s husband is a RAPIST. The fact that it happened in marriage does not make it any better than a girl who was raped by say her neighbour.
ReplyDeleteSadly, like many before her, this poster will push this incident to the deepest corner of her heart, and keep hoping she forgets. She has my prayers.
Oh dear!I even got sadder reading this.
DeleteI'll pray for the poster too
I weak!!!
ReplyDeleteI wud never do that but from my personal experience as a soft man that tolerates women alot in all ramification,only a few percentage of women deserve nice men. I'll say most of you bunch deserve what you get from the kind of men u put up with.
jus 3 months!!! hian!!!
this one will rape you with pregnancy, run o!
Then you are not soft. You are just a boy who hides under the "Mr Nice" tag as a ploy thinking it will get you accolades. No woman deserves this monster.
Delete3months?🥺Over to our big aunties please
ReplyDeleteSpeechless!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you had to endure all that. Really sorry dear.
I've seen this post somewhere.
ReplyDeleteI read this on facebook weeks ago.
ReplyDeletePeople should stop copying stories and be sending to Stella. Or is it the same person that is still wailing upanda?
And many women think cheating is the only thing they should worry about in marriage.
ReplyDeleteSigh have you met men like this? Have you met a selfish partner.
Poster sorry ooo. This is your own reality. We can't even tell you leave your marriage cos you won't.
if he goes to pay for it outside una go still complain. sex is a biological function. same way your husband can eat at restaurant if you're too tired to cook, he can also feed his lower member if you too tired for sex!
DeleteAt Anonymous 16:34, can the woman also get it outside if the man is too tired to satisfy her sexually?
DeleteOh bloody!This is so sad.God!
ReplyDeleteHe raped you and enjoyed it.. No remorse, no apology. Madam your husband is a beast. Until you make him see his wrong, this is just the beginning.. He will definetly do it again.
ReplyDeleteI'm too shock to type. I can't believe your husband that vowed to protect you violated you,assaulted you and molested you. Kai. . this is too sad to read gaskia. You better report him to police or call meeting and report him to elders in your family. Don't allow it to slide like that if not it will become the norm in your home. God forbid bad thing.
ReplyDeleteI prefer your choice of words: violated, assaulted, and molested. It's important for couples to be considerate of each other's needs and feelings when it comes to sex.
DeleteWhat I'm still trying to figure out is the word 'rape' in marriage.
Adopting it within the framework of marriage, I believe, can lead to more problems in the home.
For the man, exercise restraint and be considerate of your woman's mood and emotion
For the woman, don't use sex as a bargaining tool, don't ration it (we had it 3 times).
Wrap up: the man acted inappropriately against his wife (his flesh and bone). He should apologize, seek her forgiveness and make a solemn promise not to do such again.
And if she still loves him and wants her home to work, she should forgive him (take all the time), and both of them should communicate better on issue of sex, timing etc.
A lot of you girls will f8k sugar daddies after writing exams all day, cooking for him and even on the fourth round (with viagra), you will hang your legs in ceiling fans and give him kpakpando styles.
ReplyDeleteBut give husband sex after a full day at home, you will find excuse and even slap.
clap for yourself. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I do not support spouses depriving their partners of sex or marital rights, but, when a partner says he or she is exhausted, you let them be, especially a partner that is usually very loyal and one that satisfy all your needs.
DeleteYou don't hit them and then, rape them just for refusing you sex for one night after a hectic day.
People with no self discipline always want to feed their flesh not minding who gets hurt.
You are a fool! If you were trying to be funny, sorry to burst your bubble; you sound horribly boring and sick! Get help!
DeleteDid you read the part she said she gave him 3 rounds as "Goodmorning & Happy birthday" sex?
DeletePoster, lemme tell you something i failed to include up there... if you give a child candy anytime he asks for it, the day you say no, that child will cry bitterly, your husband is used to having access to your pussy wenever he has an erection, or watches a couple kiss on screen, he gets to fuck you... that ur refusal was like a slap to his face even while u were asleep, he had to slap you back! He didnt even care about the 3 rounds u gave him that same morning, very heartless!
Dont make men believe you are ever ready & always horny for sex, the day u refuse, it might proceed quickly to rage and rape.
Ms A
DeleteThanks for your sweet comments. Rape is very bad
but do not forget that a lot of ladies even married ones
do sugar daddies and do not complain because of the pay.
God will judge the adulterers.
Anonymous17:17 why are you shouting sugar daddies up and down as if all women date them.What if this poster has never in her life date sugar daddies.Be reasonable in your judgement and do unto others what you expect from them.
DeleteStella, which one is "So you did not notice that the man you married is sick towards gbenshing?"
ReplyDeleteWhat if he hid that trait during courtship?
Poster, no advice for you
You know this!!!
DeleteHumans are very pretentious, some people are good at covering their tracks
This is crazy .
Ah, some mehn ehn. They just need little education about a woman's drive towards sex. Few men understand the toll house chores, cooking, cleaning, errands can take on a woman's body. Somebody like me, I will just be kong kong dry down there no matter what. If I am tired, and my mind is not wired for sex at that moment, biko my engine wee not start.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is just ignorant.
He is chauvinistic with that silly African mentality, that a wife should never say no to the husband's advances for sex.
He is a violent man- a woman beater!!! 3 months into the marriage (still a honeymoon period) he raised his hands on you??. Domestic Violence alert & loading, b/c it will repeat except God intervenes.
Go tell him Mama, maybe just maybe she will understand and put some sense in his son's head. God be with dear. No be small to battle dey your front so. Na wa.
Stellz, you've never said it better. The annoying thing is that during courtship ,these tendencies were there. But ladies would ignore it out of desperation to get married.
ReplyDeletePoster, if you have any self esteem remaining in you, make sure he apologises for this and promise it will never happen again. Especially, since you didn't sex starve him,which would also not have sufficed as an acceptable excuse anyways.
If you have to report him to third parties on this, please. If he has 'sane' parents, they should be your first option.
Don't say what you think is the truth. May God not let you meet a man who is a camouflage. A lot of men/women hide their bad attitudes in courtship all for the sake of avoiding marriage disappointment. Do not forget change is q constant thing. It's just the grace of God that helps us.
DeleteI am not the first anon. God's child you are right and when they hide their bad attitudes before marriage so as to deceive their partners and not lose them trust me after that marriage they would still lose the marriage and their partners after so much investment when their true character surfaces. There is something called divorce remember? So what the fuss about? They only prolong the inevitable by pushing the date forward but their bad behaviour will be their undoing in the end.
DeleteIn my opinion people who hide their bad traits are really dumb. What they are preventing will happen in the end.
Gods Child, you are so right oh... many people hide mehn i am learning everyday especially men that find out what you want in a man then assume the role you have described for whatever selfish interest it is they have. i dey fear human beings now
DeleteYour husband is sick but pls for peace sake forgive him
ReplyDeleteFor peace sake?? Should any same human live peacefully with a rapist under the same roof??
DeleteI keep saying it, being at war with some people is far cheaper than living in peace with them!
Poster, by this time next week, if you're still in that house, put on that nightie he tore because, it would be time for season two so he doesn't have to year another. And if you think it's going to be a one time thing, you had better wake up and smell the coffee...
Your husband lacks empathy, you should have calmly walked away instead of slapping back, his ego was bruised by d slap, well, you guys should sort your issues or you can call it quits since both of you have d tendency to be violent towards each other.
ReplyDeleteDon't let anyone deceive you. There is nothing like ego thing for men only. Well, maybe in Africa. But see, everyone has ego it is there in every human from infancy. Even babies has ego. The wife he slapped doesn't have ego? If you have an ego then for your own good also have self respect and enough self control else your so called ego will be used to wipe the floor.
DeleteI saw this on Facebook last week.
ReplyDeleteHe must be high on something... I can't believe he couldn't consider letting you rest after the stress of hosting guests.
ReplyDelete3 months of marriage you said? He's trying to assert himself as your 'lord', but doing it wrongly.
Wife battery should not be tolerated for any reason and rape? That's abominable.
I'm sorry, but you married a beast. I don't know if it's possible to tame him,otherwise think of taking a walk.
It's even more unfortunate he's unrepentant and feels entitled.
So, so sad.
Nobody can tame this beast of a man.
DeleteI am very Angry right now, the fact that he still wouldn't apologize, says alot about him. He want to play God over her.
This monster will beat her up again and again and still rape her again and again, if she doesn't report to her family.
I can't stand Rapist at all, they disgust me.
why should she rest. highest let her lie down like the proverbial log of wood and let the man penetrate & have his release.
Deleteafterall you confused bunch are always here wailing about cheating men, men are dogs etc. she has NO RIGHT to deny her husband sex. NO RIGHT!
Marriage is not for the faint hearted. Jesus take the wheel, I cannot advise otherwise.
ReplyDeleteMadam i would advise u to get ready for more beating or have an exit strategy. See i am very sure while dating u guys were into fornication hence he cant even hold himself. U either avoid getting pregnant and watch him. Single mother life isn't easy but this guy here is one chance. U need to pray to God for direction and be brave when he tells u to jump ship.
ReplyDeleteMadam poster dont tell us you didn't see the signs when you guys were dating/ courting. It's so sad and pathetic.
ReplyDeleteI'd suggest you report him to your family and get yourself treated from the bruises to avoid infection. At the main time, avoid him if you can. Stop eating with him eat separately for now. Don't bath with him, He needs to be remorseful and apologise.
Do all you can for him to be remorseful. If you don't have a job or you re the housewife, OYO is your name.
He needs to see you busy. Above all, make yourself HAPPY.
DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
But this is what comes with the pressure of 'You never marry? All your mates don marry...' oh well don't know what to say because alot of women are suffering the same and are praying for their husbands to' change'(Pun intended), stay or leave your choice, but this will only get worse.
ReplyDeleteBetter start saving, cos that’s how it will eventually end. The first slap just happens right? Subsequent one will be very easy, and before you know it, it will be normal to him.
ReplyDeleteEnter your comment...this is same reason that made me.break up with someone everyone thinks is okay.i am a single mum with two kids and sex is the last thing on my list.this man has abused me,called me a prostitute ,a loose woman,cursed me etc all cos i refuse him sex and after that he will come begging,kneeling,and all those his crocodile tears.next day he will beg for sex and u refuse and the cycle continues.me i had to do away with him for my peace of mind beforei will.now marry.him and he will one day rape my daughter because i refused him.tufia
ReplyDeleteI read this on facebook some days ago...
ReplyDeletePoster, your husband raped you and you're here asking if you were wrong for refusing him sex because you were quite tired.
ReplyDeleteThis is the raw truth, I can't stand Rapist. He raped you once and he will rape you again.
You better report him to your family and I hope you do not rely on him 💯.
If you were raped by someone else, what would you have done?
Your monster of a husband is a rapist and should be rotting in jail. Who knows how many women he has raped in the past.
He will rape your maid, neice and sisters if you continue to live in that house.
Ms A seriously!!!! The Mata tire me oh. See people justifying a raving mad rapist! And the poster has been able to sleep in the same house with the unrepentant man??? Hey God! This one is pinching me gan ni.
DeleteDear poster, so sorry for this evil that befell you (the only way I can describe this). I am glad you are only new in that hell, and from your story you are not yet preggy. Pls, pack your things and leave, I mean leave immediately.
ReplyDeleteHave been looking for someone that will say this .. God bless you
DeleteSad,your husband is an ignorant and selfish person.Unfortunately this will continue,brace yourself or run as fast as your legs can take you.One day he will pounce on your maid,young relative or even your child.I also wonder if you never noticed such whilst dating.Marital rape is real and is criminal,it's just that in this part of the world you will be asked to go home and "settle" with your husband.God help you sis...i hope it never happens again.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't make this man realise his evil deed , he will continue to beat you and silent you at the end. Do everything within your power to make him apologize.
ReplyDeleteHe's sick.
Gosh man needs help
ReplyDeletePoster... the fact that you are asking all these questions shows you have low self esteem thanks to this man you married. This is how women who are battered behave. "Google battered women's syndrome". Instead of you to see the situation for what it is, you are here asking jamb questions. Blaming yourself, he has weekend your morale that you don't even know your rights anymore. Just three months of marriage with him you say and he has succeeded in making you look stupid and accept the responsibility for his actions. God be with you.
ReplyDeleteI host at home on birthdays so I know how sex will be the last thing on your mind!!!
ReplyDeleteHowever you should not have slapped him back because 1)hes stronger than u so what happens if hes infuriated enough to become DANGEROUS(deadly)(2you would have been totally BLAMELESS so he doesn't have anything to hold on to!!
He is your husband but he had sex with you when u said NO,he RAPED you and please treat SERIOUSLY to avoid future occurrence!
You know the best way to handle this,its your shoes,your family and your FUTURE!!!!
Donot let anyone tell you you caused it cos you refused him,imagine 3rounds same morning and he no fit hold body till next morning?treat with URGENCY, your mind will tell you what will work!!
He kept on slapping her so the next thing she could think of so as to save herself from the continuous and never ending slap was to slap him back. He slapped her the first time, she asked him why? Instead of him to reply he slapped her again. Haba!! Its reflex ooh in reaction to the slapping spree the man went on. Who wants to go blind from slap. She didn't know how to make him stop i believe that was why she retaliated before he made her go blind with slaps. Wrong move from her end, i must say because he could have killed her but you could tell from her write up she was on her wits end about how to make him stop.
DeleteEven if her parents were there or her siblings they would have retaliated before thinking, it's reflex.
OMG! What did I just read? I thought what husbands do is to sulk when denied sex ( at least that's what mine does) but to hit and rape her, Haba! Nne you have a monster o. Deal with the situation, don't take it lightly or it will get worse. Go to his people and yours. Just do something! Ha!
ReplyDeleteChaii, men don suffer oo! This one marry puppy for house, dey call am "man"!! #tufiaka #chief-manipulator
DeleteYou're just lucky/fortunate to have a dumb horseband, be grateful to God.
Na men take shit pass for this Africa, yet these bitches be wailing uncontrollably upandan!!!
Very easy to differentiate the single ones from the married ones. All claiming Western poshness but only manifesting daftness. When the man paid your bride price fully and married you traditionally, that kpekus became his for lifetime consumption without hindrance - even your village pipo know this. Secondly, you must have also gotten wedded in a conventional church where the Bible outrightly says your body is his and vice versa. So where's all the trash talk coming from. Biko divorce him and watch your life remain miserable for the rest of it's entirety.
DeleteStella some of your bv's comment show that most are narcissistic sociopaths and they don't know it. Her defense reaction by slapping back is perfectly normal. Why couldn't he wait till she was fully awake to slap her. Your husband is a coward with a very low sex drive or small pen*s. He takes pills behind you to boost his sex drive that's why he was upset when you denied him sex. He's feels you're judging his libido and has been insulted. This is the beginning of the abuse you'll begin to face. Next he'll focus on your looks and friends. My advice is this; abuse no matter how little should never be tolerated. It's better to be ashamed than dead
ReplyDeleteBest comment!
DeleteYou have a big problem but you appear not to know. What happens when you get pregnant? It's just 3 months post wedding.
ReplyDeleteYou should TALK WITH HIM! cos next time will be worse!!!!
I'll tell a close sibling or parent if i were you.
Partners should respect each other!
A lot of married women goes thru this ordeal but they can't speak out cos of d society we live in
ReplyDeleteRape is rape and it's bad,he lacks empathy! Don't condole this at all cos he will still do it again when u decline,so it's better u tackle it now..what of when u get pregnant and u won't be in d mood to knack? Hmm just wondering
Sending loads of hugs
All d best
That is a sick mind. He will not only rape you but will advance in his decisions with time. Mothers are not doing a good job.It is not enough to birth a male child, upbringing is everything. At the root of this behaviour may be some unresolved personal issues. This is why dating, courtship is critical before marriage.
ReplyDeletePlease ma’am, run for your dear life or you’re in for a lifetime of unhappy loveless marriage. It’s still early to pick yourself and run. No amount of praying and talking can change this monster. You have been defiled and need therapy. People would advise you to stay and make it work. They would even see him as the victim and make it your fault. It’s not, you married a psycho. Run!!!
ReplyDeleteDear Poster
ReplyDeleteSorry you had to go through this ,
I'd like to highlight a few things.
1 he raped you (sex without your consent is rape) even within the confines of marriage .
2 he assaulted you ( chances are this would continue .
3 you retaliated out of shock .
I do not think you should take this lightly simply cos he is your husband.
Ask yourself this question sincerely and honestly cos in the end only you can make a tough decision for yourself .
Are you ready to live with an abuser and a rapist .
If he did it once he can do it again
Most importantly he is unrepentant which is also a very bad sign , it is not unheard of that you end up with an unsuspecting abuser but what lies in your hands is the decision to stay and condone or to seek help.
Think this through and make the best decision.
Remember your life and wellbeing is very paramount.
Lots of love.
Good one!
DeleteThis is gross. How do you slap someone awake from sleep???? Did he even know the health hazards of forcefully waking up from sleep??
ReplyDeleteThis marriage thing seems to be highly over rated sha, haba. And some people are here saying she slapped back..... really???? What about the shock of being slapped while sleeping, it takes grace not to slap back and what right does he have to RAPE her????
Hope all those saying she slapped back would have clapped for her if she had poured hot oil on him while he slept cos he refused her???? Please ladies and gentle men if you can't deal abeg WALK.... take a Long WALK!!! Na so e dey take start oooo.....
Madam if you can't deal WALK before it becomes a case of retaliation that might lead to something more drastic cos then nobody will remember how you were slapped awake from sleep and raped! And if it happened now without remorse, it will surely happen again.
if he comot go gbensh ashawo/sidechick, na wahala. now he asked for what you claim monopoly of its supply, you deny him.
ReplyDeletewhat do women want? evil women everywhere
You are a wicked soul!Demon!
DeleteDid she deny him three rounds in the morning?
You're a succubus rascal.
DeleteVery devious being.
She must spread leg everytime, yeah. Single manipulative scums. Rape ko, rapa na! Can an unarmed man single handedly have forceful intercourse with a conscious woman? Liars oshi everywhere.....her toto wet gan, and bitch enjoyed it too. Come internet to change the narrative for your father #mtcheeewee
DeleteMay God help us in this institution called marriage...
ReplyDeletePoster leave the marriage if you can before kids are involved and it becomes difficult....this man kill you during pregnancy when your hormones begin to fluctuate. Men like this are toxic . This reminds me of my husband. Ican NEVER express myself to him no matter how diplomatic I am. He feels a woman should not question a man, or talk in the presence of the husband. Its disrespectful..if I deny him sex ,I'm wicked. There's no word he will not say to me. He penetrates without foreplay and it's so painful, he even enjoys it better when I'm crying. I'm stuck because of my kids. During courtship , he was the most NICEst person i ever met, even people around could testify, after marriage he began to have this entitled mentality. Always using his father style of headship on me. My father this my father that. I am still nursing my eye from the slap he gave me and he did not apologise. He said I caused him to react. I'll leave one day for good with my kids.
ReplyDeleteSo madam, now you have the chance to leave, this is a sign dont ignore, don't allow him to sweet talk you.
You will leave ONE DAY???
DeleteNa wah oooh!
As you have dished out advice for poster to leave why can't you leave?
Children? You better leave with your children before you get killed in that marriage.
What kind of life is this?Ah!
Deletemadam u are in serious trouble but don't be scared. U need to know that this marriage will not last (no be ekpe). I am talking from experience. U can be in denial that if u didnt hit back maybe..... he will do worse. My advise its just 3 months. give him him 9 months to make it one year, in all this be prayerful and strong. Divorce is not for the faint hearted. Hope u have a copy of your marriage documents and keep evidence of these abuse. Don't be fooled into keeping to yourself. Tell your closest sister, brother or mum. So that everybody understands when u say u r done. Be mindful of getting pregnant for this year
ReplyDeletemadam, sorry for the slap and rape. this may sound different from what every other person is saying here. it was his birthday celebration maybe he had hard much to drink, all he needed was for you to cuddle him make him feel like a baby, with that sef you own mode will be lighted. who told people count how many times they made love in marriage.
ReplyDeleteIf he was drunk due to having had so much to drink. He would have apologised the next day not carry face for her till now like he was right all along. No excuses, he did what he did.
DeleteAnd no he didn't need cuddling. The person who needed cuddling and lots of appreciation was the wife who went through all the trouble of making his special day a success. The little he could have done was showered her with hugs and treat her like an egg and let her REST!!!
DeleteI have read this exact post somewhere recently
ReplyDeleteSweetie, 3 months old marriage with the right one is still well within the honeymoon phase. It's unfortunate to read such stories. People put in a lot of effort and resources in planning a wedding but not much goes into teaching a lady how to be a good wife and a man, how to be a good husband. In marriage, both parties must learn how to sacrifice or make compromises. Premarital counselling is very important.
ReplyDeleteThis could have been handled better by both of you. It's an unwritten tradition and most "domestic goddesses" know that the best birthday gift you can give your hubby is your naked body tied up neatly with a bow, a red bow for more effect. Lol. No matter the birthday planning and hosting, make sure you reserve enough energy for an outstanding "personal birthday afterparty" for just the 2 of you. The average man would be thrilled by that, let alone the sex monster you've obviously married.
You made him your king when you married him, sweetheart, that's why you can't be careful enough when selecting your life partner. Even if you were knackered after the party, there are so many ways to satisfy his sexual desires but if not, turn him down nicely and not in anger, even if you feel he is inconsiderate. You can hardly go wrong with tenderness. If he still goes ahead to behave like a sick puppy, then it's all on him, you played your part. I noticed you wrote the "NO" in capital letters, I'm guessing you weren't nice in the way you turned him down? I'm sure what provoked him was seeing you sleeping soundly after rejecting him. That's an explanation, not an excuse.
Darling, a man who rouses his wife from sleeping with a resounding slap because he was deprived of sex, is a man with serious impulse control and is prone to violence. He isn't rational and is quite selfish. You, on the other hand, should not have slapped him in retaliation. A lot of ladies have died for less. I'm astounded and a tad frightened for you, that he is going about his merry way without so much as an apology for his actions! When a person gets away with bad behaviour, a repeat is inevitable.
Have a tete-a-tete with your man, apologise for refusing him sex and slapping him, but let him know you will not tolerate being violated that way again. There are other ways a husband can show his displeasure, he need not get physical. If he still ignores how hurt you feel, know that your marriage to him is a huge mistake. I hope things work out for you guys.
e-hugs and kisses.
But now she has been raped,isn't it likely that there is something damaged in her and she needs to heal first? Or would such trauma be easier to get over just because the rapist is her husband and not some stranger?
DeleteWhat the hell is apologise for refusing him sex and slapping him? Wetin Musa no go see for gate?
DeleteScratch that, Musa ran away from the job
Women's life goal is to have a husband, then the second biggest ambition is to control him. #GBAM
DeleteFinally a riddle has just been solved.
Unfortunately, after the man fall mugu, what happened to Adam and the garden of Eden will beffall both of them (unfortunate circumstances) and then she'll definitely seek bigger fish to fry.
Ronalda you scored F today abeg!
DeleteDid you read they already had sex thrice that day?
So it's not enough birthday present?
Please don't do this again ma'm. We like your opinions here! Don't use to come off as overly nice and yarn off p. biko o!
Now it's plain to see your marriage isn't all that you have hyped it to be. With this kind of nonsense advice you gave up there. I am sure you blow your husband's basic qualities out of proportion and you stomach a lot of nonsense just to stay married. Its obvious you tolerate a lot of things most women wouldn't and you praise your spouse bare minimum and hype it to the high heavens. I can never take you and your advice seriously again.😌
DeleteWhat did tou type up there? Like what really??? You flop big time.
Stella don't let me find my comment. I am highly disappointed in this woman.
Ronalda, I waited to see your take on this issue as a lawyer, wife and God fearing woman. I am extremely disappointed. A man raped his wife and this is what you have to say? She should apologize because he’s entitled to birthday sex? Your comment is exactly why I don’t hold just anyone in high regards. It also is a bit telling of your actual reality.
DeleteIvannah
Chai you fall my hand today abeg! I really held your opinions in high esteem
DeleteRonalda, you are a sweet soul. Your understanding knows no bound. This is the best comment on this. Most wives starve their husbands sex and they see it as nothing. During courtship most of these women can go many rounds at any time & show how good they are during sex but immediately you marry them they start with excuses of am tired, i can't suck this, don't spread my legs like that, don't put it from the back....it goes on. It's sad that lots of men are living in denial. That man wouldn't have asked the wife for sex if she has not been showing she is a tigress. I married as a very faithful man but after 8years, i can't continue listening to excuses and i have been super nice and romantic. This almost turned me to a drunk but i found how to get my groove on.
DeleteShe is a sweet soul because she said this thrash up there? Please if English is your problem kindly google the meaning of that word"sweet soul". How can you say this warped reply is the best?
DeleteYou have been married for 8 years. During those years your wife gave birth I am sure, more than once, so she now have kids to attend to coupled with office runs, taking care of the house and also cooking for the whole house yet you still expect her to have sex round the clock like you both did before you married.
You are very selfish and senseless. You have found out how to get your groove back you say? Well, an idle man is the devil workshop. If you were as busy as your wife helping her out and all you won't have enough time on your hand to be frolicking about.
You come back from work the next thing is you sit on your sofa watching tv while your wife goes straight to spend at least 2 hours in the kitchen, feed the kids, bath them, put them to bed, serve you dinner, make the bed while all her bones ache. Then after eating she goes back to take care of the house while you lay on the bed waiting to bang her life out when she is done and wasted. Silly you, Comparing courtship stage to that of marriage with enough responsibility. Grow up!!
God will bless you, 16:31. I don't see the evil in what Rinaldo wrote oh.
DeleteRape?madam u are insulting ur hubby.he can have u Anytime he feels.
ReplyDeleteOlodo!
DeleteShame.on you.
DeleteHe can kill somebody's child just like that. Somebody that will hit you in your sleep? Ah no..oo.
ReplyDeleteThat's how with one of my home girl, the husband slapped when she is sleeping not once o, thrice in different instances. Now the marraige don scatter kpata kpata. The girl started having nightmares, afraid to sleep, anxiety disorder set in, was having flash backs. It became a serious psychological problem
What is your husband's love language?
ReplyDeleteIf you are enable to identify this it will go a long way. What you did that very day to you looks like love but to your husband attention is the key. It means he understands love by having sex with his wife and not by you cooking, inviting everyone around you.
I think you both should have a heart to hear talk on this issue.
Make sure you iron it out once and for all, find out why your husband slap you, make him to promise never to try that again.
UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI REFUSE IT
I REJECT IT
HA! ANY RAPIST MUST BE CONDEMNED
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE
SISTER RUN
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
Poster the fact that he never apologized should tell you something.guy man is preparing you for what awaits you.your response to this will decide your faith for the rest of the marriage. you obviously won't take the advice given here, so I suggest you buckle up your seatbelt cause it's gonna be a BUMPY RIDE!!!!
ReplyDeletePoster, something similar happened to someone I know. Theirs was even 6 weeks,when the hubby beat her because she hissed at home for coming home late. I will give you the same advice I gave her and it worked.
ReplyDeleteDon't let this slid oh,tell or report what he did to his and your parents.Call his Sister or brother and tell them what he did.Don't cover him ohh,he will be ashamed of that animalistic behavior of his.
If you made the mistake of let it go easily,he will do it again and it will only get worst. Make him regret that action when everyone start calling him that they heard he did to you. I promise you he will apologize and beg you not to tell anyone again
Look at this first class mugu. She's the one who is wrong and deserves shame. Or do you want him to start fucking outside so that y'all can complain about how young and early the marriage is?
Delete