STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
HOW TO HANDLE BEING MARRIED TO A CHEATER
My husband is cheating.
My marriage is just 2years old and we have a 6months old baby girl.I had a difficult first trimester and was advised to stay off s#x,but we still found other ways...till I saw chats from his girlfriend and nearly collapsed.
I didnt even ask him anything,because I didnt want to lose my baby,I needed to be strong and avoid tension at home.So I prayed and God helped me and when the baby came,I was too happy to care about anything else and have been happy ever since.
Now,a girl keeps calling at night and I spoke out for the first time,he denied but didnt make any effort to stop keeping late nights.
I'm hurting all over again.Please other mothers that have a cheating partner,how do you handle it,do you pray?can prayer make him stop?Will it always hurt? Wil he stop on his own?I just want to be my normal happy self again.
*Na wah!!!
Drink coconut oil, watch war room then fast and pray.
ReplyDelete😜😜😜😜
Delete🤣🤣🤣Mad Don. Nne enjoy ur son. Zero him
Nothing can stop him except God touches his heart,and yes,you can pray but don't kill yourself praying then you forget to enjoy your beautiful baby.
DeleteBe happy always, it's not easy,but think of yourself,your well being and your baby.
yes that is it DON, she need to pray and fast, and take good care of her body too so her husband will look outside ok, sorry, prayer is the key
DeleteYou're absolutely stupid, and I pray you experience a partner cheating. Evil fool.
DeleteNot funny though
DeleteYes, prayer works.
ReplyDeleteKeep reminding him how much he’s hurt you, don’t suffer in silence.
You have a job/business?
In all, do not reduce yourself by contacting the side chic.
If he doesn’t stop, talk to his parents.
The first thing to do when you catch him cheating is to voice it out, set your boundaries and let him know you will not stand for that. Like you have to be firm.
DeleteLeaving it this long would give him a chill feeling, like he can always get away with it. Better draw his attention to it so he will stop.
Just 2 years in marriage he's already a cheater? He go soon turn lion
ReplyDeletewhen he turn lion she will turn to lioness.
DeleteOkay this got me 🤣🤣🤣
DeleteHe was a cheater all along.
DeleteAproko, from husband to cheetah! I bet he'd soon metamorphose into a Jaguar🤣🤣🤣...
DeletePrayer cannot change a man, he must first be willing to change. Do what makes u happy and be safe. Talk to him and let him know it hurts. If he persists, ignore and create ur own happiness or walk, if it is a deal breaker
ReplyDeleteThank you,some religious lunatics up there are out with their bs
DeleteExactly what I have in mind, you can't pray for someone to change when he's not ready to, talk to him and try to create your own happiness,but your marriage is too young for all these, I pray God gives you strength
DeleteLies prayer changes a man. Don’t listen to this people here’s pray for and with him. And thank us later. Don’t just pray once and stop oh . Make prayers a lifestyle
DeleteGod touches people in ways you can never imagine. Please dont underestimate the influence of God in changing people's character. Even Paul was a Christian prosecutor before he wrote almost half of the bible.
DeleteI myself, I know how God changed my character and it has nothing to do with me wanting to change.
So poster, dont go over your head thinking you have the right arsenal to bring this to a stop. Only God can turn things around, go on your knees and ask God to take over. You have the right standing because you are the legitimate wife. There is a type of prayer you will pray that strange woman will run.
Let me share this with you, my mother hardly prays when we were growing up. Not until one vacation I came back for holiday and i found out my parents were separated. My mother found out that he was having an affair with his secretary. So she took the route of prayers o. She prayed eeeh. I remember waking up in the middle of the night to see her praying and crying at the same time. One thing she didn't do was keep away or be nasty to my dad. She will still visit him and take us to visit him too.
She also started taking us to church too. She went for this delivarance in MFM then. After praying trouble started o. Her best friend started calling her and told her they need to meet. If you have ever been to MFM you will know that you won't have the energy to go anywhere. But she went to answer her friend. To cut this story short, my mum's friend was also sleeping with my dad. Her friend referred the secretary to my dad also and that one went there and took over. They all belong to a secret society, so my mums prayers disturbed them. My mum got to her house and found a lot of women seated around a table like they have summoned my mum. No jokes, this is no Nigerian movie o real life. The head was begging my mother that they are sorry, that they offended my mother. They started explaining everything, my mum said she didn't say pim. They told her that they are letting her husband be. My mum stood up and left, 3 months later my dad was back home just in time for him to pay my school fees, because I just got admission then and my mum was worried sick how to take care of the bills.
So poster, prayers work wonders. My parents have been married for 37 years now. We are all out of the house and I see them loving each other and I thank God my mum prayed.
I asked her of recent why didn't she just leave him with his cheating. She said she loves my dad. And they were so in love when they got married and there was nothing my dad couldn't do for her initially, all of a sudden he changed. She just knew it wasn't ordinary. I asked her this question because I know me I will not stay for any cheating. But when you weigh your options and the chips are really down, you will understand that you really need divine intervention for your husband not to stray.
While most women will toll the path of visiting a native doctor, all I am saying is seek God. God is guaranteed to change things for your good.
Anonymous 18:08, I love this! Prayers work! God works wonders. I am a firm believer of this.
DeletePrayers worked for your dad because he was jazzed.There are women who have been praying for their husbands to change for years and nothing has changed,the women end up looking old and haggard because of fasting,prayers and bitterness.I personally know a woman who has been praying for the past ten years ,he is still cheating so please let’s apply common sense on some issues.
DeleteLike I said put your options on a scale and weigh it. If you want to leave the marriage by all means. If you are staying you better buckle up with prayers.
DeletePoster when you pray, remind God that he said in his words that the heart of kings are in his hands. Use the word of God. Dont allow this generation make you believe that God does not answer prayers. He does, everybody has trying times in marriages. It is only God that instituted marriages in the first place that can see you through.
Y'all don't know how delicate marriage is. That is why in the first place instead of your to sort that face of God before choosing a partner, you have decided to marry for all the wrong reasons. Even people that sort God have had problems let alone... you better start involving God in everything that concerns you. Talk to God, dont be a stranger to him. Read Christian literature about marriages and fill yourself with the word of God. Everyone is encouraging you not to pray that prayers dont work, do you now want to leave your marriage? That these people prayed and gave up before the answers they seek came doesn't mean God didn't answer. Those of them praying and still visiting native doctors will definitely be sad and bitter. It is written in the bible that their sorrows shall be multiplied that hasten after other gods. Daniel prayed and didn't get answers immediately, because prince of Persia held his answers but he continued praying for another 21 days.
DeleteIn essence, what I am saying is that you might not get answers immediately, but patience is key in marriage and if you continue trusting God you are sure to be victorious. Ask God for wisdom, even woman needs it in marriage.
Prayer cannot change a man, he must first be willing to change. Do what makes u happy and be safe. Talk to him and let him know it hurts. If he persists, ignore and create ur own happiness or walk, if it is a deal breaker
ReplyDeletePrayers work please. It can touch his heart and make him reconsider his ways.
DeletePrayers can change a man's heart. Prayers can change anything. See Proverbs 21:1... "The king's heart is in the hand of the
DeleteLORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will."
so why cant the man do the prayers , story and african or Nigerian mentality
DeleteEayah it is well with you. Men don't try anymore. Even one day old marriage they cheat.
ReplyDeleteI will advice you take good care of yourself, charge him on everything. If you are the one supplementing, don't add your money in keeping the house.
Also do that which makes you happy. Prayer is also good. Keep praying for you to be better. Dont pray for him to be better at all.
If you want to do 2 can play the game, get someone to call you every night and say loving things to his hearing. Lets see who wins.o
I've been to a friends wedding and her horse band wanted to f*k me on their night, my friend was three months preggy.akpata oyi wuru m maka chi, I've never spoken to her about it but I told our other friend. Men these days!
DeleteMadam take it to they Lord in prayer. There's nothing impossible for him to do but while at it always use protection with your husband until he present a clean bill of health. When I imagine the kind of asexually transmitted diseases flying all over the place I cringe when I set my eyes of cheaters. I can't deal mehn...
ReplyDeleteDivorce him. If you have Proof. That is the one reason Jesus gave permission for divorce. You asked for our opinion. That's mine👆
ReplyDeleteMadam think of your health too.
DeleteHonestly, speaking from experience, I would suggest you leave that cheat and face your life. I found out early and I prayed. I talked to him. I quarrelled. I talked to his elder sisters and Mom. None of my strategies worked. And now, after five kids, I wish I took that decision earlier because he never stopped! And finally, I was brave enough to take that decision. After five kids and serious high blood pressure and spiritual battles.
Deleteprayer is the key, prayer is the key, prayer is the master key.
ReplyDeleteJesus started with prayers and ended with prayers, prayer is the master key.
Jesus is the only way out, make God the head of your home and all will be well with you.
Joker,when will you guys stop this,jesus will leave better world problems to stop a wandering penis.hold a man accountable for his actions and stop this "ostrich behaviour "!!
DeleteAnonymous 16:26, you don't know the capability of Jesus. The poster's problem is equally as important to him as any problem in the world. He asked us to call upon Him at all times, He didn't tell us when he is busy handling other problems of the world he won't have time for ours.
DeleteSome are repentant, some dont care, only a man who fears God will not cheat, the only way prayer can change him is if he has a near death experience with a strange woman, there are prayerful women whose husbands cheats with reckless abandon, ask them, u think they dont pray? When getting married, its wise to be prepared, dont trust blindly so u you wont collapse.
ReplyDeleteI've been married 3 yrs and my hubby started cheating from the first year. My dear advice don finish concerning this men cheating. But what I'll never do is to waste my prayer on a cheat lie lie. He should continue...I'll just be waiting for old age so I'll serve him my revenge. Plus I can't wait to be done with child bearing so I'll get me some young bobo to be knacking too. No be only him like different soup
ReplyDeleteFeel free to send in your application for young bobo knacking
DeleteDon’t forget to add your pictures inugo
Well said!
DeleteI have same plan as you.
Hahaha... No be only men sabi catch fun. I must use protection though.
Anonymous 15:21, Madam, let me tell you the truth, when you are done with child bearing you won't do nothing. You are just telling yourself those words to console yourself.
Deletegirl cheat your own. if do me i do you
ReplyDeletekeep praying ok. kmt you better set boundaries he is probably having unprotected sex and before you know it you have caught something. raise your standards and let him know you are not about that life . these men just marry to cheat on their wife when the whole point of marraige is to stop cheating but that isnt the case. you need to give him a shock, pack a box with a few belongings and put somewhere he can see it. everyday add stuff to it play with his mind and act like everything is perfect let him wonder because when you keep his mind occupied by playing him he wont have time
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 15:22, you are wrong! The whole point of marriage is not to stop cheating. If you that's the reason your husband married you I pity you.
Deletethe whole point of marriage is to raise kids, not to 'stop cheating'
Deletestupid women. if he marries 2nd wife will you commit suicide?
Naija men go dey make somebody to dey dear marriage. Are you people cursed??? Nawa! God abeg oh.
ReplyDeleteNo be here we dey read how women dey steal fork, spread leg like gymnast and fight over man. Abeg ee no dey yarn dust joor.
DeletePoster, from your write-up,it shows your marriage is still young,from experience I will advise you to talk to your husband,tell him how he feels,pour your mind to him,if after all thesez ,he didn't stop,pls I hope you have a job or business,for your sanity ,press your ignore botton and start making more money,detach yourself emotionally from him else you get bp,if you feel you can't take it anymore,let his parents know and if nothing is done,separation I know once you start ignoring and making money,with time he will get his senses back and start been jealousy and may want to win your love back...pls don't degrade yourself by confronting any side chick..all the best.
ReplyDeleteI will talk as a mother and wife. Marriage is work and there are two work people involved
ReplyDeleteWhen I say that the Spirit of God revealed whom I'd marry 6 years before I met him, people
think that everything will be smooth without your making sacrifices.
Yes, I quite empathize with your on your plight especially that first trimester issues.
I had it in my first pregnancy and had to seek God to learn how to avoid it or reduce it
to the barest minimum. Did he teach me? yes, he did.
I learned to fast for up to a month at least (am to pm or fruit fast with plenty of water.)
I get detoxified and when I get pregnant for the next four kids, I was up and running.
Those first trimester issues dissolved and disappeared. pregnancy became a sweet smooth journey.
Now, let me talk about the two that work out marriage.
Do you have days when you fast and pray with your spouse for the success of your marriage?
How does one discipline the flesh in other not to fall into temptations of (Naija) girls and dudes
of easy virtues that loiter and linger with skimpy wears and intents to lure one to sin?
Okwa sincere ajujus o. If you do not have that, especially if your spouse is given to alcohol,
you are definitely going to fall into temptations.
Let me drop my yarns mic here for ndi uta to shoot. 🎤🎤🎤🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️😘😘
chineke only you 5 kids??? umu nwanyi na mukwa ncha. biko I hope you've stopped, naija has a population problem as it is, go and solder those tubes shut. I wonder how you always find time to run around this blog yarning dust. my friend will you go and breastfeed your children!
Delete@16:20
Delete😂😂😂😂
Thanks for your insults. NOne of my kids is breastfeeding. The oldest is a teenager.
They are actually six as I adopted one more and I am looking forward to having a football team
by God's grace. I will buy a brand new air-conditioned coaster bus 🚌🚌 to drive them.
I am being fruitful and multiplying at God's own pace and time and he has blessed me with the resources
to take care of them and more...do you have any problem with that? Thanks for reading all
the "dust" I yarn here.😘😘😘
You actually sound silly you know. Did she tell you are children are still of breastfeeding age? And what's wrong with having 5 children?
DeleteThis cracked me TF up🤣🤣🤣
DeleteIt is so ironic that one of two partners will cheat and the Victim will be the one looking for solutions. We ladies have a problem of clinging to the worst things for reasons we cant understand. Now i do not advice you to leave the man but Life is a big game to this niggas and we are the ones carrying it like cement on our head. Get your evidence(s), confront him calmly and watch him deny. Tell him calmly that you are willing to forgive if he desists. Of course, he won't. Then it is time to look out for yourself. Look for someone who can make you happy and everybody will just be living. The only implication of this game in Africa is that you must be financially stable and be patient. Dont be a noise maker and dont cling to anyone
ReplyDeleteSo in a nutshell you are asking her to go and get a side boo if after raising up the matter with her husband and he doesn't change, right? Or did I not understand you correctly.
DeleteI do not even know what to tell you,🤗
ReplyDeleteHi poster I really respect you. Take it God in prayers naked if you know how for sure you are with him now and in past was never like the girl calling at odd hours. Give ultimatum day you want them to scatter anyhow- trust God he’ll do it if he did it with me you n ordinary relationship not to mention your own marriage. I gave 1 week but they fought so dirty even in work break room on the third day!
ReplyDeletePlease stop having sex with that man. STIs is so real. Please protect the future of yourself and your child. Some men need to do so much better. ‘ALL MEN CHEAT’ is not true! There are those who do not. If they can do it, so can you!!! I feel so bad for you this poster. This is not what a young marriage should be.
ReplyDeletePlease stop having sex with that man. STIs is so real. Please protect the future of yourself and your child. Some men need to do so much better. ‘ALL MEN CHEAT’ is not true! There are those who do not. If they can do it, so can you!!! I feel so bad for you this poster. This is not what a young marriage should be.
ReplyDeleteDear sister, please do not waste your prayers on a cheating man, rather pray about your baby's future and your own upliftment in life. Channel your energy to yourself and your baby. Lastly make sure you don't spend too much of your money to assist him in the house.
ReplyDeleteLeave. He won’t change. This will be your new norm if you stay. If you leave, that’s another new norm with you deciding your future. Been there, prayed, fastened , 13 yrs with 2 separations in between. He didn’t change. He got bolder and did more. Your life, your decision. It’s worse when you’re abroad. The oyigbo girls fall all over them.
ReplyDeleteyour husband is loose. it's not the oyibos girls. Would be worse in Nigeria.
DeleteSo you let a whole 9months pass without a word(I see your reasons up there)which wasn't enough.
ReplyDeleteYou let it go way too long, now you want to start talking. Oh dear, you were still hurting from before, no be fresh wound. He has mastered his moves now. Do yourself a favour and talk about it before he will infect you
We need to learn to speak up when it's necessary no matter what.
I reason is a very good one. She needed to keep her sanity, focus on her health and that of her unborn child, which are not worth compromising over a cheating husband. You said "we need to learn to speak up when it's necessary no matter what" read her post again, she did speak up.
DeleteExactly, why wait too long, immediately you find out, you cut that shit off, let him know you will not take it except he doesn't mind sharing you too.
DeleteIf he really loves you, he will sit up. Its like most of you are scared to talk to the man you married.
You can pray all you want but the truth is that he would never change. That is why I tell my christian sisters to marry a born-again and spirit-filled christian. It gives peace of mind. The flesh of men alone cannot withstand temptation. God needs to be in their lives to overcome the flesh. That is the simple truth!
ReplyDeleteBorn again and spirit filled you say? These are the scammers. The wolves in sheep’s clothing. Believe me I married one and he turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life. Ladies marry a good man if you can deduce. The hard part is knowing who the true person is.
DeleteThose ones cheat too. Marry a disciplined person.
DeleteA born again doesn't cheat. The man you married was a mere Church goer not a godly person. Be guided. My cousin's girlfriend would come to me to complain about him cheating. Some would say despite being a Christian. I just laugh. Yes he does evangelism, preach sometimes on the pulpit knows the Bible inside out that I can place a bet on him if you bring your pastors to preach the gospel and he does, your pastors would pay him homage. Sadly enough these are all what does ladies say and they automatically assumed he was godly. Well I am not surprised for the ladies aren't godly themselves so go would they know if he truly was a real Christian. It takes one to know one. What most ladies see as a godly man is simply a religious man. I asked his girlfriend a simple question"are you both celibate?" She couldn't reply.
DeleteA man whom you believe to be godly is fornicating with you and you don't have a problem with his godliness but raise the roof when he cheats on you. How interesting🚶♂️
Born again and spirit filled?
DeleteNobody can say for sure who a man truly is except for God.
These spirit filled and born again peeps cheat too,they are humans with blood too.
If a man(WOMAN/MAN) doesn't have discipline,he/she is bound to cheat.
A man who ou believe is godly is fornicating with you and you don't have a problem with his godliness but raise the roof when he cheats on you? Like! Aren't you a hypocrite?
DeleteAh... I dunno oh because these days born again means a whole different thing.
DeleteOne of my closest friends that is born again and married a fellow born again... Infact the man was a virgin before they got married. They both didn’t have sex before marriage... na so the man don turn sex maniac after marriage. I no believe am but she dey always complain... one girl after another. It is well oh.
God should just give me a man that won’t give me problems cos I can’t deal
Adabekee, what prove does she have that he was a virgin before marriage? He is the only one who knows if he truly was and God of course. It is so hard to be one for so long then after marriage suddenly become a maniac. You don't turn 360 like that except he kept his animalistic side under wraps pretty well and he was good at pretending. The man lied to her all along or played along with his born again charade. Then revealed his true nature after marriage. Imagine if you were told that Joseph in the Bible after going to prison to avoid fornicating with potiphar's wife then became a male ashewo after marriage, won't you be dazed? E dey for your friend's husband body before are.
DeleteNa the one wey I know I talk sha and what I do know is that this guy was truly born again, he wasn’t playing, he wasn’t deceiving her. They were both grounded CPM members as youngsters till they married.
DeleteThere’s no absolutes in life. Pastors fornicate and go back to God. People who know God suddenly turn their backs on God. People for some reason develop habits that are hard to let go of and God is still working on them. Look at David, how many times did lust put him in trouble and even crossed over to his son Solomon
That’s how at church one day, some people tried to say that if someone smokes, that means they are not born again. I just laughed in my mind. But these same born again people do contract marriage for papers or tell lies so as to get asylum.
Some of us Christians if we had been alive in the days of old would have said Peter was never a true disciple because he denied Jesus three whole times even after he had been warned. You will say he was just deceiving Jesus.
All this to say, marrying a born again might not exclude one from certain issues.
God will help us. I sha know I will marry a man who fears God and will not give me wahala
"Pastors do fornicate and go back to God" Yeah they "go back" but at some point they left right? So you just accepted you can't be in Christ and cheat for that "moment"of temptation you fell you were not in tuned with Christ anymore. That is why as Christain we need to always guard our heart, always wear the breatplate of righteousness, carry the sword of truth, pray without ceasing. Even the Bible says he that is up be careful lest he falls. We have to always be in Christ consistently.
DeleteI understand where you are coming from but at that point where they were engaging in those sinful acts they weren't spirit filled in that moment, but were filled with lust for their flesh took over and they caved in to the lust of the flesh. Like your husband's friend when he went sex maniac and committed adultery with ruthless abandon, while talking about him, you cannot say a spirit-filled man cheated rather "a lustful man" since he gave way to temptation and fell and from that moment a lustful person was who he became not someone full of the holy spirit.
That is why knowing and serving God is a continual process no brakes, pauses or full stop else just a moment of straying away from his presence can make the devil to take advantage of the person's weakness and some would sink deeper before being redeemed again.
People who know God and suddenly turn their backs shouldn't be called spirit filled or godly anymore since they are no longer living a holy life. How long will we use the old lifestyle to describe who they currently are. They are who they are now. Your husband friend may have been godly but he isn't anymore if he was, he wouldn't cheat so saying a godly virgin guy cheated is confusing, a godly man won't cheat, the one who cheated isn't godly anymore. David lust put him in trouble but you could still tell the difference as a Christian he felt remorse. The pastor who traced his way back also felt remorse I am sure.This today poster's husband does he sound remorseful? Maybe he will when he gives his life to Christ and become spirit filled but only God knows when.
I agree God will help us Amen and give us future spouses who would give us peace and would not follow the sinful ways of the world nor stumble. Amen.
Anon and AdeBekee. I think I know what you both are saying.
DeleteAde is saying a godly man can later become ungodly while you anon is saying truly a godly man can became ungodly but a godly man isn't the one cheating at that point because for him to cheat non-stop without feeling remorseful shows he has developed a dead conscience and for his conscience to be dead indicates the absence of the holy spirit right? For the holy spirit is the one who convicts us when we sin and we feel remorseful. So a once godly person whose conscience is now dead can no longer be called godly at that point but a lustful person and by giving in to lust and feeling no remorse, having no control of the flesh is an indication of godlessness right? So a godly man isn't cheating non-stop but a now godless man right? because a good man would know he is swerving off track when the holy spirit convicts him and he feel remorseful and get back on track right? That us why the Bible says, "Though a righteous person falls seven times, he will get up, but the wicked will stumble into ruin"(Proverbs 24:16).
So you both agree a godly man can become ungodly and an ungodly man can become godly but for a godly man to give in to the constant desire of the flesh without feeling guilty and enjoying the sinful life he has to be ungodly first that is what anon is saying I suppose like! there as to be a transition from holiness to in holiness after some reasonable time. So at that point a spirit-filled person isn't the one sleeping around but a godless person which is now the new identity of that person?
Poster if you know you can't cope I would advise you leave. Some men don't give up cheating till they grow old ooo. Even the father of my mom's friend who made my mom to stop visiting her friend at home while they were youths because he always made advances at her didn't change till old age. My mum is now in her sixties oooh and she said she was shocked when her childhood friend invited her to the birthday celebration of her old man. She thought the man has given his life to Christ since he was now old and getting closer to the grave but she was shocked when the old grandpa saw her and spoke silently in to her ears, saying " I am still in love with you"😂😂 when she went to greet him. She said she thought she was hearing double till old Papa repeating himself. Could you believe a man getting closer to 90 hasn't retired from his womanising ways😅. The thing was obviously still hot in the man's blood. Its obvious that some people cheat till they go to their grave. I pray your husband's situation isn't like that. Chronic cheat fear them🚶♂️
I don't understand what you people mean by 'tell him he is hurting you'!! Like, who doesn't know cheating on a partner hurts and he knows this but doesn't give a damn!! so why still tell him again? I will not advice praying for anybody ooooo, instead pray for yourself and ask God to uplift you. Find happiness somewhere else asides your husband and when it is no longer convenient for you, please feel free to take a walk. There is no husband in heaven. I don't even know how wives continue to sleep with a cheating husband. It baffles me!!! I wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteGet a job and if your peace of mind is threatened by the night calls, move into another room. Start making exit plans.
ReplyDeleteMost of the disrespect from your husband is prob because you can't live without him and he knows you are going nowhere.
Ignore him and his cheating ways as if you do not even know abt it. Use protection and ensure he goes for regular STD CHECK. Also keep the baby at 1, dont go getting preg for a cheater..the more the childthe harder it is to leave.
MIND ONLY THE BUSINESS THAT PAYS YOU AND GIVES YOU PEACE OF MIND. BE FINANCIALLY STABLE FOR YOUR KIDS AND EXIT THAT TOXIC ENVIRONMENT WHENEVER YOU ARE READY.
Cheating Monster.. Please press your Ignore bottle, never you bother asking at all. Be married to your baby and phone, always smile once u pick you phone. forget prayer and fasting it wont help in this situation. Just be happy for nothing and bring in that "SELF LOVE Attitude. Sis that saved me from my ex. One day he started crying and begging. Me i left him and moved one.
ReplyDelete❤️ this comment.
DeleteI know you specified the group of people you want to advise you on the matter. I know I don't belong to that category but Permit me to advise those who aren't married yet. You can also look back to check if you saw these traits in your man before you settled with him.
ReplyDeleteI heard someone was upset once that her yahoo boyfriend cheats on her, I laughed and said "what do you expect?" Someone without the fear of God engages in fraudulent acts and without a conscience revels in it won't bat an eyelid before he cheats on you it's that simple. When I talk about the fear of God, so am not talking about someone who simply goes to church or have a Bible at home. This is someone who is truly sold out to Christ and I see a lot of comment here from ladies that sometimes I can't help but wonder if they truly want a man who won't cheat on them after marriage. Some would say " I must test-drive, a guy that fornicates with you before marriage will cheat on you after marriage, don't be deceived. You weren't his wife before man and God before he gave his body to you outside of marriage so why complain if in the future he sleeps with another lady who isn't his wife?
A man who does office "runs" would cheat on you. He rips the owner of the company off without the owner realising it.
A man who watches pornography and sees nothing wrong with it will cheat on you
A man who goes clubbing would cheat on you.
A man who fornicates with you will cheat on you, please don't expect otherwise.
A man who does business and cheats people of their deserved cuts would cheat on you.
A man who sees a lost phone on the floor instead of calling the owner to come get it but sells it and you don't see anything wrong with it. Will cheat on you.
It's common sense. A man lives every single day outside of God's will at his house, office, business dealings who does the exact opposite of what God wants would cheat on you. It's that simple.
If you are single and in a relationship where you have noticed your men has the ungodly ways and you still deem it fit to continue please don't complain when he cheats on you. If he could hurt others he would hurt you too, you aren't excluded.
I am sorry poster but we're you guys having sex before marriage? If yes, then know this...someone who doesn't have a problem with fornication would never have a problem with adultery. In his own eyes he is just sleeping with someone that is not his wife. He did it before marriage so he can do it after. What is wrong with that? If you don't leave him now, you will leave him later. Even the Bible accepts divorce on the basis of adultery.
🤔 🚶♂️
DeleteTrue... A man who doesn't fear God in every areas of his life before marriage won't fear God in/after marriage. If he doesn't respect God before marriage he won't respect God after. Don't expect integrity from him for if he doesn't value God and obey him he won't value you don't flatter yourself.
DeleteNkea di deep
DeleteStop assuming a woman who is cheated on by her husband was sleeping with him before marriage. Some ladies who were virgins before marriage also have to deal with a cheating husband.
DeleteI am not assuming 18:20. I know fully well about that, so kindly read again. I wasn't talking about virgins who kept themselves still marriage when I mentioned that up there..but the ones who loves to "test-driveeeeee" with their fiance and scream blue murder later.Virgins don't test drive. If you were a virgin then it still boils down to the fact that he wasn't celibate at the same time right? You were the only one practicing chastity while he goes out to have his fill and keeps you for after marriage. So you may not be able to test his integrity on that area us in premarital sex as a yardstick to see if he fears God. After all he wasn't sleeping with you so how would you know? but you can still check other areas of his life and see if he applies biblical principle in his every day living or interaction with others and that was what I was trying to say up there. I wouldn't want to be miscontrued please.
DeleteDoes he embezzled money at work, or does he see it as a sin and is satisfied with his meagre salary even though the boss wouldn't find out if he steals a little of the company's fund?
Does he sell cars and the owner calls it a million naira but as the middleman that he is, he added extra 200k when the car owner wasn't looking?
Does he gets contracts jobs but lives the construction of the buildings undone or uses substandard materials?
If he doesn't have conscience when God is watching, he won't have when he knows you aren't there. Like who are you? But if you are having sex with him that is the easiest way to know this one here committing fornication doesn't fear God just like you and he won't see a big deal in it after he has married you.
Anonymous 16:40, so going by what you posted up there one both couples were having sex before marriage then cheating is bound to happen in the marriage, is that correct?
DeleteAlso, drawing conclusion from what you said so only those who marry as virgins-both of man and wife- won't experience cheating in union, is that correct?
That anon said a lot of things up there. Even came back to explain a second time but mbanu the other scenarios given for better clarity was overlooked. The anon even said if you aren't indulging in fornication check other sinful ways of the person but no you are here still asking question. Haven't you seen virgins who does other tins dat anon wrote up there, steal money at work and other sinful thing or does virginity equals a sinless life. Purity is different from not cheating biko. Did you read about the other examples he or she gave on if you weren't having sex before marriage that can help you know better
Delete. Nawa oo if you don't understand you don't. That is on you.
20.16, I'm not the anon but please read that comment again. Basically, it goes beyond being a virgin, her point is about the WHOLE lifestyle of that individual and their choices in other areas of life. A virgin could be robbing their employer blind for example.
DeletePoster i have been married for 9years, my first few years of marriage was just like yours.You are a new bride so it should hurt.
ReplyDeleteONE THING YOU SHOULD NEVER DO IS PRAY.
DO NOT PRAY ABOUT HIS CHEATING.NOTHING WILL CHANGE.ITS A WASTE OF TIME BUT MOST MISERABLE WIVES WILL NEVER TELL YOU THE TRUTH.
NOW PRAY FOR YOURSELF.
YOUR GOALS
YOUR HEART DESIRES
PRAY FOR THOSE THINGS YOU WANT GOD TO TURN AROUND FOR YOU.
WHEN YOU START LIVING THE LIFE YOU WANT, BECAUSE RIGHT NOW YOU ARE JUST EXISTING, NOT LIVING.
YOU WILL BE SHOCKED THAT HE WILL COME AROUND.
IT WILL LOOK LIKE YOU JAZZED HIM.
THAT PRAYER AND FASTING WILL AGE YOU AND LEAD YOU TO DEPRESSION VERY FAST
He will come around? how many does? Could be for you but not another woman. Nigerian women de suffer o
DeletePoster 16.26 I agree - People should learn to focus on themselves. It’s hard but just start slowly.
Deleteshut up abeg...how can you say one thing she should never do is pray? cos it did not work for you you think it wont work for her? if you are not born again and living holy you think you just pray when trouble starts and get answers immediately? sometimes you must wait patiently for God to answer. nothing wrong in praying for a cheating husband but you must let him know you hate what he is doing and then let him know he cant sleep with you while still sleeping with another woman. he should go and get tested for STDs
DeleteAsk yourself, "Can I cope with a cheat?" If the answer is no, confront him with evidence. If he is unrepentant, bring it to the attention of respected family members. If he still refuses to change, then please leave for your peace of mind. STIs are real.
ReplyDeleteDarling, let's start from the very beginning because something feels off. Why did you get married to your husband? Were you guys ever in love, did you rush in because you didn't want to marry late or were you scared of not finding anyone better? I ask because, from your story, the cheating started the 1st year of your marriage. That is highly irregular for couples who had a genuine friendship and were in love before they decided to get married. The synergy of your union is highly defective. I sincerely hope you aren't one of those ladies who went ahead to marry a man they knew had little respect and no love for? We read about them almost everyday. If you married the wrong partner, I'm afraid your options are remarkably limited.
ReplyDeleteYou can't get the effective advice unless we know what we are working with. It's one thing for a groom, as it were, to cheat on his pregnant bride but the game is completely rigged to fail when said bride can't even communicate with him for fear of losing their baby. Which begs the question again, are you sure you married the right person? How come you can have a civil discussion with your hubby? Sweetheart, what is going on? Why do I get the distinct feeling that only one person truly wanted this marriage? Sometimes, rejection is God's protection. When the man you're dating rejects you, it's best to let him go. Don't fight to save the relationship or give him the impression that you would endure whatever he does to you just so he marries you. You will end up winning the battle but losing the war.
Here you are now, Mrs. XYZ with a lovely angel but with a compromised Mr. I'm sure this isn't what you had in mind when you used to dream about being married. The highest form of disrespect isn't the cheating in itself but your hubby's cavalier attitude. He knows you are aware of his cheating yet he does nothing to appease you, rather he allows the late night calls in a marriage barely 2 years old? Wow!
Sweetie, I never underestimate the power of prayer but I know God is the Author of free will and will never bend a person's will to suit another. Prayers will definitely help you cope or reveal the solution to your problems. It appears the foundation is already faulty. It will continue to hurt as long as you have feelings for him but I guess you will learn to cope with the pain as time passes. Distractions are good but they are only the temporary solution. Just because you have a band aid on doesn't mean the injury isn't there. Sooner or later it will have to come off and you will be left to treat the sore and deal with the scars. This would only work if both of you decide to make it work.
e-hugs and kisses.
If you believe and have faith- pray, but while at it protect yourself from STIs, if you do not believe and have faith, then seek the option of separation, whatever you do, do not cheat as a form of revenge, do not go down to his level. He is the one who has broken the vows of marriage, not you. Be strong.
ReplyDeleteWhat is that anon,15:48 saying,yen yen,spirit filled speaking in tongue..I was married to a bishop,who keeps cheating until he fell into d hand of my salesgirl, who knacked pigeon on his head,he almost strangled me to death, I had to run for my life, even if ur anointed, a cheater will always cheat,I was warroom personified,BT he didn't change, I trust God that one day,God will visit him.
ReplyDeleteBishop is just a title okay? The problem with you women is that you can't tell the difference between a religious person and a godly person. You do not have to be a bishop to be godly but you have to be religious to carry our bishop duties. Most of these people God didn't even call them, they called themselves.
DeleteSo because someone knows the Bible in and out means the person is godly? Even the devil knows the Bible Nah! By their fruit you shall know them. Lray for discenment and you also need to be closer to God for you to be able to tell the difference. If you are really close to God that he speaks to you both he won't let you marry wrongly. Always ask God even if the person in front of you is showing all the qualities of a Christian let God show you who the person really is and he will.
Divorce him. If you have Proof. That is the one reason Jesus gave permission for divorce. You asked for our opinion. That's mine👆
ReplyDeleteEnter your comment...dont divorce him.
ReplyDeletehusbands scarce this days.
Nothing scares me more than a man who cheats...Madam start praying to God for him and please don't lay curses on those girls rather pray for them and ask God to give them their own... because the Bible made us to understand that the heart of a King is in the hands of God...I know it is difficult but try to play the fool so you can get your joy in full...do what you need to do as a wife and a mom but never forget to go on your knees for your husband...it may take a while but it doesn't mean you won't laugh at the end...God is still in ministry of performing miracles...HE will do it for you...
ReplyDelete#BaeisBeulah
1. Marriage is a covenanted union that has more than enough blessings embedded even to generations yet unborn.
ReplyDelete2. These blessings are the reasons why the devil finds every means to fight it.
3. The devil will fight with the minutest and the craziest stuff. He will multiple the little and the crazy things and will convince you to give up. Really, when you or others look at it, the most reasonable thing would be to keep at war with your partner or just leave...and forfeit all the blessings.
4. Sooo..Yes please pray but more importantly, you need a relationship with God in order to access much more than just the request for a better partner.
Your relationship with God will feed your wellbeing alongside the wellbeing of the things without. The truth is nothing else can fully satisfy. Hubby may not cheat but might hurt you by other shortcomings, raising kids can overwhelm sometimes especially when partner is annoying.kids will leave sometime etc.
4. Again I say pray or war on your knees for your home, it is always worth it. Man did not command prayer, God did and He is Faithful to His part of the deal.
5. If praying alone is difficult, you can find a faithful friend to pray with.
6 Trust God also for relationships and engagements that will help keep you bubbling in the midst of the challenges.
Please o, if it is filled with violence, step out first before taking on the above.
God bless you.
I love this piece
DeleteThank you!!
Deletena this one people take dey bondage now. keep praying there o.
DeleteHi dearie. I pray you read this. Now first, let me start by saying your happiness is in your hands. How? Make yourself happy. Do things that will make you happy. Take care of yourself, be your husband's concubine. See ehn, take care of your body in such a way that the girlfriend will have nothing compared to you. Go out with your girlfriends. Girl, live your life. When you do all this, you will see yourself needing him less emotionally and tables will turn. He will be the one chasing you. I know it is no easy to lose weight while breastfeeding and I don't advise that but just eat healthy. Take more of fruits and vegetables. Don't forget to take care of yourself. After three children, my stomach is still flat and I weigh 60kg. It was not easy but I knew to be happy, I needed to be happy with my body!
ReplyDeleteSecondly, my dear, hmmm, the battle is not yours. The battle is spiritual! Pray for your home. Pray for your husband. These girls of nowadays are wicked. You don't have to visit a herbalist to jazz a man again, Kaya manta is now sold everywhere, from Jaruma to Aminat. Pray for your husband. Shield him with the holy ghost fire.
Confrontation does not help. First, he respects you, that is why he is denying it. The moment a man comes out and tells you ,Yes, I cheated to your face, then there is a big issue.
Pray my darling and take care of yourself. That is the most important. I have been in your shoes and I am still in your shoes, but the ways that worked for me is what I have told you. Love your child, pour most of your love on him and invest in yourself. Have your bath every night before you sleep, wear sexy lingerie, have sex with your husband, do different styles, satisfy him. But most importantly girl, get your husband back! No girl is worth leaving your home for.
if she has to compete with another woman to get his attention then he does not value her. you lot stop this nonsense. he married her and she should not have to play stupid games to keep him
DeleteNo be everything them de pray for. Confront him, tell him you what is going on. Tell him to stop it or you leave him. If he doesnt change, u either stay or leave. Your choice.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is you people get too comfortable after having a child. You transfer all the love to the child and your man feels neglected. You need to start behaving like a girlfriend all over again. Start treating him the way you used to play hard to get when you were still a girlfriend and you wanted him to choose you. Remember what it took to get him committed to you. Try that all over again. Dress nice, don't be too available, don't nag, give him good sex, give him good food, play hard to get small. You get the drift?! Wink.
ReplyDeleteThe man started cheating even before the child was born and you are still blaming her for loving the child they share? Is it when he is busy cheating that he will take care of his child? So she should leave the innocent child in suffering to start chasing a grown ass man? Do you think he still treats her like a boyfriend? Please. Your type will ask a tape victim how long is her skirt.
Deleteyou made zero sense. all these to keep him? shior. ladies please go and wtach tony gaskins make una get sense small
Deleteyou either lack reading skills or just plain stupid
DeleteLol @ 11.08
DeleteIt’s a bit too late to watch Tony Gaskins. Tony will say walk away but these women will not walk away from their marriage and I don’t blame em... don’t you see the number of single women on Tony’s page looking for one good man or even the semblance of a good man?
The problem is you people get too comfortable after having a child. You transfer all the love to the child and your man feels neglected. You need to start behaving like a girlfriend all over again. Start treating him the way you used to play hard to get when you were still a girlfriend and you wanted him to choose you. Remember what it took to get him committed to you. Try that all over again. Dress nice, don't be too available, don't nag, give him good sex, give him good food, play hard to get small. You get the drift?! Wink.
ReplyDeleteMust we spiritualize and 'religionize'everything? This is a simple human behavior problem that needs to be addressed. How is his crime different from women's nagging? Which is so overlooked and underrated by women, yet 'kills' a lot of men? Have you even got proof?
ReplyDeleteSee, this is Nigeria. There's too much stress in the land. Men use chatting with several girls as a way of venting their stress and frustration. If you give him peace and calm, he may feel less pressured to look for a way out. Do you think it's easy for men to cheat? Having girlfriends or side chicks today has become increasingly expensive for men. Those small girls are not smiling. Their love language is money. And they're usually very unfaithful. Which man really wants a girl that's all about his money yet still sleeps around? But you married men give them no other choice.
Y'all need to stop 'religionsing'everything. Your so called religious husbands are the worst cheats and perverts. Hypocrisy at it's peak! Currently in Nigeria now, virtually all men cheat. And they could be cheating with other men as well so don't get it twisted. If cheating is a deal breaker for you, pack your bags and leave please.
I don't think it should be though. Men cheating is like rain, they say. Where doesn't rain fall? I dropped a comment earlier about being a 'girlfriend' to him all over again.
And you should probably insist on condoms until he gets his acts together again. Let him know that. And take him for regular tests even after he changes.
GOD FORBID my husband will cheat on me and I’ll be the one crying about for “solutions” and “prayers”. My only prayer will be for self control not to scatter his face with scratches and slaps.
ReplyDeleteWhy don’t you confront him immediately. Nip this nonsense in the bud immediately. For the girl to have the mind to talk to him at night he’s definitely pretending to be single or she’s a shameless prostitute. But that’s none of your concern.
Set an ultimatum. Tell him that if he doesn’t stop cheating on you, that’s the end of the marriage. Demand your respect and let him ask you for forgiveness. Don’t play the victim or nice girl card. Go gangsta on his ass. Let him know you’re angry, pained and cheating is a deal breaker for you. Stop all forms of sex until he follows you for HIV/STD tests. I am sure he’s clean but that’s a way of letting him know you don’t tolerate nonsense.
Make him understand that cheating is a no no for you. Stand your ground and don’t flinch. Don’t give him room for excuses at all. Don’t try to reason with him or understand things from his point of view. When you do that he’ll press your mumu button and you’ll let your guard down.
But why do I feel like I am wasting my time. A lot of you women are so timid and voiceless in your marriages. That’s why some husbands will cheat on their wives and they'll be the one petting him.
And another thing, if you like pray from now till tomorrow. If your husband does not repent and accept to be helped by God you are simply wasting your spit. He’s not Paul that’s Hodnwill arrange special intervention to put his cheating ass in order.
Ivannah
♥♥
DeleteIvannah 😘😘😘
DeletePoster jus tell him u want the 2 of u to be praying togeda as a family.in your prayer point put a cheating husband and how destruction will find him,jus be raising dangerous prayer points against infedility,his conscience won't be at rest,jus be praying with him on the matter and don't stop praying together,when praying if you are sure of the name of any of the side chick or side chicks jus use style and put it on prayerpoint.marriage isn't for babies.jus toughen up
ReplyDeleteFor the poster and all those who are heartbroken.
ReplyDeleteDear Lord,
I offer you this prayer, to help me with my current relationship situation. Please take away all the pain and hurt in my heart. Fill it with love, joy, patience, and understanding. Bless me and my partner, so that we may never surrender to whatever challenges that come our way. Fill our hearts with love for each other, and may you make each one of us realize each other's worth. Please touch the heart of my partner,fill it with much love for me. Make our complicated relationship become uncomplicated. I seek for your mercy and blessing that you may allow us to spend the rest of our lives with each other. Please make this feeling mutual for both of us. Lead us not into temptations. Guide us wherever we go. Always put us in each other's heart and mind. Thank you Lord for hearing my prayer. I love you. Amen.
No relationship is easy, your partner will push you to the limit,but God almighty will always have your back when you call on him. Praying isn't just to bring your partner back to you,praying gives you peace of mind and the strength to carry on even when you feel you can't go on.
Whenever I've been down,praying always healed my heart.
Marriage is harrrrd!!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry ur going thru this.
Women that still have sex with their cheating partner , are they not scared of STDs?????
How do people make everything religion??? A grown ass man decides to cheat and then she has to pray and cry while d man just keep being a cheater?????
Poster i honestly dont know what to advice u.
Big tyt hugs!!
SURVIVAL FIRST. Close your legs except condoms are in the picture. You have a child. Stay alive for your child. Being sad will not change what is and would be the excuse for everything. Bone ogas side and build your own life- when he finds his spec outside and throws you out, what are you going to do? I am so sorry this is happening to you.
ReplyDelete