STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DIFFICULT MARRIAGE
Good day Stella, compliments of the season to you and all blog visitors. Please keep me anonymous.
I entered my marriage at a very young age and it has not been such a wonderful journey. From the second day after the wedding i knew I've entered a problem as i saw message on his phone that he's missing another woman's bum bum.It's been from one lie to the other.
Cheating with girlfriends and the girlfriend posting it on social media , calling me to cuss me out,with likes from his family, we have 3 kids now and the marriage is now 8 yrs.
Stella I've been through hell with this narcissist and he has a way of manipulating my family because they don't like divorce especially my mum. He sleeps out, keeps late nights, lied that he's working , collects money from people etc.
The main issue i have now is that he harasses my maids (15yrs), even the married ones and he always find a way of denying it.He agreed sleeping with one with consent and the others he will say it's toasting, this has happened more than 5times now , even my underage cousin was not left out and I'm scared of leaving my daughter with him.
The betrayal has removed every iota of love i have for him though i didn't want to enter the marriage but pressure was much from my mum and i was quite young too , i now sleep in my kids room, I've lost myself as this now affects me at work, i get angry when people talk about marriage.
Domestic violence is also involved in this marriage( he even beat me while pregnant), he's angry that I'm working,leaves most of the bills for me and even when does with evidence on the transfer e.g. if he sends 10k he will say 10k for house needs.He calls all my friends and family to spoil me,no love, no affection, we can stay for 3weeks without calling each other if I'm away,i have also blocked him on all social media platforms, we don't celebrate each other either for birthday or anniversary .
The problem I'm having now is i want to move on with my life but my parents will not allow me , they keep saying think of the children and the future .This same children that are growing up in a very abusive environment as we quarrel everyday that neighbours already know.
I don't want them to think there's nothing like love or think violence and abuse is normal.Please i need urgent advise from BVs, I'm still very young and this issue is already affecting my health and I'm already having BP at my young age. With all these , this wicked man is still playing the victim that I'm proud because I'm working, he even told my younger sister that there was a time i couldn't afford ordinary slippers which is a lie. I do all sorts of business with my job to keep up even sold okrika and he will still spoil my money.
Gave him money to get me a land and he spent.Please i need urgent advise as my parents are making life difficult for me, they know the truth but pretend, especially my mum.she introduced me to him and she's now blackmailing me that i want to leave him cos he's not working. Please i need advice, i want to move on.
I've done all the dry fasting and deliverance.
I forgot to add that he even tried travelling out of the country with another woman, though i know they're not dating. Now i can't apply as a married woman
Nobody should stay in any situation like this all in the name of Marriage..review your situation very well and leave if you think it is the best,especially as Domestic Violence is involved...That is a No No!!!
Marriages like this produce kids that turn out to be Monsters unless they are quickly removed...You don't need anyone's approval to leave this kinda Marriage,just do it!!!
Speechless!
ReplyDeleteHis new year you still don't want to act smart and take a hold of your life abi? In Ms A's voice, take responsibility of your life this year!!!!
DeleteYour parents here and there, did they glue your bum in that house ehn? Will they kill you if you pack your load and leave? Be careful oh.
I will go anonymous again.
DeletePoster, now "pack n leave" is exactly for women like you who marriage has given less than they can give themselves. Not women that grew up is terrible backgrounds, dependent and can't give themselves any better than their marriage is giving them yet they will want to "pack and go" to sell their intestines and liver to cater for children their father is not rejecting.
He is not working? What exactly did your mum push you to marry in him? Such men make the worst kinda husband's and it will never get better, forget prayers and fasting.
Strategy I will give you is, I know you pay the house rent so wait till this rent expires and refuse to contribute a dime. He will leave (I promise you). Or push him to get carried away with another woman till he even moves in with her. When he does, that is your clue! Move to a small apartment with ur children and don't take him back. File for divorce at once. I know how to make a person paint himself bad by himself.
When he was beating you, did your parents share from the abuse? Your parents and siblings will be fine las las, please look for every means possible to leave that marriage, else your life wont be destroyed alone but that of your kids too.
DeletePoster go rent one bedroom flat,move with ur children.leave that horseband of URS and forget what ur mum is saying accept you want to die in that abusive marriage.
DeleteIf all what you said up there is nothing but the truth, my dear, start packing your bags. You must not enter 2020 like this. Forget about your parents and what other people will say bla bla bla. Only you know what you are going through in the hands of that narcissist. To think he even harassed your maid and colleagues. Tufiakwa!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou want to please your parents while you suffer in silent. If she dies now the same people who ask her to stay will blame her and call her names. Mtcheeeew mtcheeeew mtcheeeew
DeleteDon't mind her..... Mtchewwwwwwwwwwwwww
DeleteGood that you have ask for advise pls leave while you still have your live intact only the living can hope for better things if you are dead he will marry another person
ReplyDeleteI know someone in this same situation, but cannot leave cus the court refuses to grant her a divorce.
DeleteMy advice is that you start keeping all kinds of evidence, your hubby must have spoken to a lawyer that's why he sends you money including the reason... The court may deny you a divorce if they see he is able to afford the family needs.
Try to save so you can afford things like shelter, education and feeding for your kids... Always keep receipts.
You are no longer a child who needs your parents approval, right now you need to survive first, they will come to terms with it.
Dear women, you need to learn to be a little selfish.
Hes even jobless! Wow, maybe he was cursed to run after anything in skirts, it's too toxic, if you don't make up your mind fast, he will be the first to leave you, atleast you've seen him attempt it with another woman.
ReplyDeleteSo he is cursed because he is jobless? Typical Nigerian woman's reasoning.
Delete15:36 Do you have a problem with punctuation? Typical Nigerian man.
DeleteSo joblessness sounds like a blessing to you? He is jobless with no other direction save for inbetween every woman's legs, yes that sounds like a curse. He wants and underage and beats up a pregnant wife? Yes, he is very cursed.
DeleteAnno read and comprehend abah,,, she is talking about the anything in skirts as a curse
Delete@Saphire
DeleteThat what you are told and the gullible you needed to be told. And her mom told her to stay with a man that has all that?
Think again.
Well...the poster doesn't sound like a very nice, lady-like, peaceful woman but the combination of she and this kinda man is a recipe for catastrophe. She is angry, unfulfilled and knows she can do better by herself while he will continue to do all sort to at at her and show he is still a man.
DeletePoster how come your family and all your in-laws seem not to agree with you?
Saphire, you are just stupid
DeleteVery stupid
DeletePoster why are you doing this?? You have stated the obvious already, what do you want us to say again?? The writing is on the wall Mene mene tekel...You mentioned your parents and mum over 3 time but mentioned your kids once?? Imagine your scale of preference and priorities?? This is 2020, you need to be sharp and take drastic actions..You dont even need the blog visitors to tell you anything..Find a new place for yourself and kids..Thank God you are working...What kind of fuckery is this one...
ReplyDeleteI tire oooo. Please leave that marriage now now now. Leave now, rent another apartment and leave. No long story abeg, please LEAVE
DeletePlease leave ASAP. Your mother has lived her life, she will not live yours for you too. There’s more happiness to life than staying married to a terrible husband. If you want to be miserable, continue thinking about what people will say. But I assure you that new gist will always come up within 6months and you being a divorcee will not be news forever
ReplyDeleteSo you need your parent's approval to leave this hell? Ok na continue, poster you do not love yourself that much that's why you're still there.
ReplyDeleteMadam, I put it to you that you are a wicked woman!!!
DeleteSo he slept with your underage maid and you forgave him without reporting to the police. You protected your useless marriage over the rights of underage girls???
Now you're scared he will move to your daughter??
And you want me to feel pity for you? NO!! You are an ENABLER.
Yourself and your paedophile husband deserve each other.
Wicked being!!
TUEH!!!
Poster. Why not move out?. This is no marriage. How can your mother force you to be in a loveless marriage? You know it and you feel it not her.
ReplyDeleteIf you can sustain yourself and kids, please leave that house.
It's better to be alive since battering is involved too. I cant stay in a marriage I am not comfortable with.
Doing deliverance from what exactly?
ReplyDeleteOnce I read to the point of "he collects money from people," I knew that the problem in this marriage is finances. I am not saying there aren't other problems. But the main problem is that the man hasn't got money. Most women will stomach anything a man does ones he is loaded but once he goes to zero, there is this loathsome attitude they display.
If you quarrel with him everyday like you wrote, then you are in it as a quarrelsome woman for it takes two to tango. You can't move on while you are combative. You can't move on while you block him on all fronts and have no communication. You need to communicate and that can only happen when you humble yourself. If not, circumstances will do that for you.
Exactly my thoughts. You can't close communication and expect to move on. Okay, how are the kids going to fare. Supposing you move on and he becomes comfortable financially, is that when you will open communication to ask him to contribute to the kids welfare? The problem in this marriage worsened when you closed every avenue for dialogue. Leave emotions aside.
DeleteSeriously?!!! If this is all you have to say then you are a wicked and senseless being.
DeleteWhat are you even saying 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
DeleteSo you didn't see where she stated the man is a pervert too? Continue oh.
Delete@Dainty
DeleteOf course, once a man is jobless, he is a pervert, domestic abuser, Narcissist, toxic and you name it. Even when some of you do not even know the definition of the terms used.
Think about it. Let's assume all she wrote there is true, if this man comes to this lady now and say; I've changed, will she calm down? If the man gets a seven figure job and tells this woman he has changed, what happens? The Love for money is the roots of all evil.
15.16 I understand what u are trying to say but it is reality. Meanwhile, a family man who is joblessness and broke is an indication of deeper behavioural or character flaws is bound to be exhibited in other aspects of his lifer. This poster might not be flawless or an all round victim as she has projected but it's time they go their separate ways. I only pity the children.
Delete@Saphire
DeleteIsn't it selfish and utter display of greed for a marriage to break because a husband lost his job? How is that his fault. Why not the lady be a bit patient and support him to get another job. I don't think this lady's mother saw all the danger to life she painted and encouraged her to stay. her mother told her that she is leaving him because he has no job at the moment. Did she not say she saw he liked another lady's bum a day after the wedding and stayed to bear 3 kids? That shows you that all the dust she is raising now is just because of his being out of job.
@15:16 and 15:39 you both don't know what you are saying! Try living with a jobless man (no employment no trade), top that off with a sexaholic. Come back and tell us how you faired.
DeleteA MAN WHO CANNOT PROVIDE FOR HIS OWN FAMILY IS WORSE THAN AN INFIDEL.
Please know this today. God and nature did not give women the responsibility of being the primary breadwinner of the family. That's men's responsibility while women are to support.
Once you place that burden on a woman, love and respect flies out of the window because the weight of it all breaks her.
Think about this. Why did God create woman last, after all things were ready? FOR COMFORT and COMPANIONSHIP. Women are creatures of comfort!
A woman by nature has enough to handle through pregnancy, labour, childbirth and nurturing. Add to that supporting the husband financially etc.
Please, don't throw the card of feminism in my face. Feminism does not negate God-given responsibilities to both human genders.
Much as I advocate that women should excel in their careers and business
and be financially independent, they should marry men who can care, provide and protect for them.
@17:24
DeleteYou nailed it. A man who DOES NOT provide
is different from a man who CANNOT provide
He did not commit any crime or sin by being out of job. You too can lose your job and you don't expect your husband to divorce you because of that. Your brother can lose his job and you will join in telling the wife to be patient. The man needs to get another job and it does not come by immediately.
One of the most unbiased comment here. This lady is complaining bitterly just because of finance, nothing else.
DeleteIf the guy pick up and get himself a good paying job, will you still want to leave him?
All other excuses sighted are just to crucified him, after all you saw the message on his phone the next day after your wedding but you went ahead to have three kids for him.
Why not pull out then, why now?
You want us to tell you to leave and they are telling you that already because most people refused to think deep.
You're not leaving because of his wayward life but just because he's jobless right now, that's it. All other excuses are just a made up stories.
You're the one that blocked him from all social media, he didn't block you, that tells you're the one creating problems just to get out of the union.
Please yourself.
Anny 17.24 and you married a man who can provide and at some point he lost his job he becomes and infidel?
Delete@Don
Delete👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
We've seen through the deceit. Her mom told her the stark truth. But a lot of us ladies here who will also be moms one day do not want to tell her the truth.
Haba Don. Kilo shele? You did not even make any reference to the domestic violence but blamed her for everything. Dude even spent money meant to buy a land. Let’s call a spade a spade. If she isn’t dependent on him, she needs to get the hell out of there. How can he be broke and still beat her. How can he be lying on her and also be the one cheating??
Delete@Cinnamon
DeleteHahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Are you serious? How can he be broke and still beat her? So wife beating is the exclusive preserve of the loaded, those that have money isn't it? That's exactly what the first comment there wrote. That once a man is loaded, most of the ladies will who marry them will stomach anything. What a huge shame. What a blatant disgrace of the grace of womanhood.
Anon 17:24 & 17:46 are children of mischief, along with millions of others who know the truth but chose to preach this false gospel!
Delete1 Timothy 5:8 says "anyone" not "any man" Liar-liars.....!
I ignore rubbish, but this is new year; so no to blatant misconduct. Whenever I see this false doctrine, I'll intervene. Our future generations of boys will not be your slaves too.
Cinnamon. I understand what you're saying but this poster just saying those to garner sympathy here.
DeleteDid the cheating started yesterday or she noticed it last month? She knew about it the following day after the wedding. Same thing about the domestic violence.
Why didn't she walked away since then, why now? That's to tell you that those time, the guy was well to do but now he's broke, madam had to bring the past incident to the surface to use against him.
Just looking for a way to leave the guy, that's just it.
@ Don and anonynous, you think everything in life is all avout money, i didn't not say that i am perfect but i wish you will experience all I've experienced since you think it's because of funds , because i didn't really go into details right?
DeleteIn all she narrated,it’s the unemployment you men picked to say it’s bcos of funds???Domestic violence,cheating ,Lies,sleeping with underage???Havent we read chronicles here where jobless women walked away from rich husbands over infidelity or DV?Lets assume she wants to leave because of him being jobless,it’s her life and a good reason to walk out of a man who doesn’t give you money and won’t give you peace at home too.Didnt caroline danjuma divorces her husband?was he poor?Its poor men that always feel attacked over issues like this.Madam,you and your kids should be your major priority.best of luck
DeletePoster you have time to come back and explain. It's a pity all they see is that your husband lost his job and that's why you want out. Do what is best for you and your kids before you die for nothing. A broke ass who is a wife beater and a pervert? Drop his ass.
Delete@Poster
DeleteCan you sincerely answer the question @16:28? Stop this pity party. You began to insult this man when he lost his job. Tell yourself the truth and shame your greed. You saw his "cheating ways" a day after the wedding and went ahead to birth 3 kids.
Why hasn't your mom/in-laws seen all these things you rant about? Okay, you've gathered enough supporters, leave and see if they will follow you.
Madam poster @20:51
DeleteStop attacking people who did not tell you what you want to hear. You asked for mature advice and I think that these anonymous and Don gave it to you. Looks like you expected everybody to drum the divorce drums for you. No, that's not how it works. thank everyone irrespective of whether they told you what you wanted to hear. You should probably be attacking your own mother same way seeing that she did not support your lifestyle.
Most men this days just get married for marrying sake and to have kids. My dear, when the people you expect to stand up for you have refused to do so(your parents), pls you need to stand up for yourself. If you die from dv or hbp, your mum will cry for at most 3months and forget you, your husband will re-marry immediately and the kids you are trying to protect will still suffer.
ReplyDeleteAre u capable of taking care of your kids??
If yes, pls pack your bags and take a long walk to freedom.
If no, then take your daughter with you for now, while you hustle and come back to take the remaining kids.
Don't manage that marriage. Its already dead on Arrival.
I hope she is holding her ears while reading this comment.
DeleteI made that comment at 17:24.
DeleteThe man lost his job not his limbs! He used his hands to beat his wife but cannot use them to be self-employed.
He lost his job but did not lose his testicles while sleeping around.
HE IS WORSE THAN AN INFIDEL!
For those of you referring me to the Bible, that verse is meant for men because Apostle Paul wrote to a patrichial society and era.
@King you are the King of mischief. If this happens to your sister or daughter, advise her to die in the marriage.
Leave that environment and move some place else, it's too toxic and casted. No matter what you decide..to stay or separate, take your kids and leave.
ReplyDeleteYou are the one married not us.. if you think it is toxic enough pls leave befr you run mad.. it may be a difficult to go but you will be glad you did.
ReplyDeleteI get that divorce is not always the answer. But in this case, it's necessary.
ReplyDeleteWhy are your parents encouraging you to say put in such a marriage? What future are they asking you to look up to, cos I don't see any with you and your husband.
Why is your husband. Ad that you have a job? Some men want you to beg for whatever you need, they want you to remain at thr bottom while thy shine alone....enemies of progress.
Are they happy that you are not enjoying your marriage? Imagine missing another woman's bum Two days after your marriage....disrespectful.
Such an irresponsible man. Some men are like that, they play the victim card even when they mess up big time just to blackmail you emotionally.stop falling for it.
Your husband is not nice, he is also selfish and without good conscience.
Poster, your happiness should be paramount. For the sake of your kids, you have to be strong. Imagine raising kids in an abusive home. That's the reason some men don't see DV as anything, they see it as normal because it's how they were raised. There is o perfect marriage, but you need to be happy, relaxed and enjoy life. You need to get seperated from him for sometime.
Don't pay attention to what anyone would think...even your parents cos you are the only one suffering al the pain right now.
Even friends, do not listen to them. Who die don die o. They Will only mourn your enemy for a day and they move on with their lives.
If you continue this way, you will fall into depression. You know the rest of the story. Get seperated!!!
Sluttychic.
*stay put.
Delete*why is your husband angry you have a job?
Sluttychic.
Do you need help from your family yo get a place to live or feed? know you'll want moral support and to be bedient but your health and wellbeing as well as your children's should come first
ReplyDeleteIf things are as bad as you say, why wait for advice of BV's?
Do you want peace? Hapiness and long life? You better go and get ot and stop waiting for my mum said or its difficult.
I pray you get the courage to move out and quick! This situationship is totally unhealthy for both you and your kids. Pls start saving, plan,seek help and beat it out of there fast.
ReplyDeleteThis is sad.
ReplyDeleteAnd this is what happens when we allow our parents to push us into a marriage. That mistake has past. Another one is allowing your mom into decision making in the circumstances as it prevails. You need to take time out and pray and evaluate your options without any second party intervening.
Is it until he kills you (physically or emotionally) that your parents would be satisfied??...You better leave while you still got some strength in you to start your life afresh.. Or it's when he rapes and impregnate your daughter that you would receive sense.....
ReplyDeleteYou gave him money to help you purchase a land?!.. Ah Tor!!!
ReplyDeleteYou've gone for deliverance, on top wetin?
Woman,carry yourself comot from that excuse-of-a-marriage..
Where do we start patching this marriage.
ReplyDeleteAll in one man,kai.
Parents need a lot of work on the male child.
Please pick your shoes and run
ReplyDeleteMy parents have lived their own lives. I must live mine. My life has been so much easier since I came to that realisation. Your parent's should not be the reason you live yourself in an unhappy/toxic marriage! You owe yourself to be happy! A man you cannot trust your daughter with? Is that a husband? Who makes advances on your cousin! Your own blood! Please your 2020 should be about leaving that terrible terrible man!
ReplyDeletePoster 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 you want to remain in an abusive marriage because the same set of people who gave you away to this dangerous man are still the same people telling you you cannot divorce. 😏😏😏😏😏😏 Weldon oh, stay put till you are gone let me see who will take care of those children. After all if you divorce na just talk people go talk and after three months your gist go turn to old gist.
ReplyDeleteI must answer married woman syndrome sending you 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
This short life someone will now make it miserable for me? I'm not even talking about remarrying or even dating. You need your peace of mind. If all you wrote is true, which I don't even doubt you because it was so real reading through. You took a lot for too long. Which animal beats a pregnant woman? Woman love yourself and stay alive for those kids your parents are going on about. Separate from him, if there's change you will know.
ReplyDeleteDo you love your children?? If you do get out now!!! Your mother is very very selfish. She is more concerned with what people will say than your well being. Your husband sounds like an unemployed, abusive and irresponsible man. Do you want your children to be in such a toxic environment?? Leave and don;t tell anyone where you are for a year so you can get your confidence and self esteem back.
ReplyDeletePoster are you a baby that you must relay on your parent for everthing you deserve in life? If all you said up there is the truth, leave for your sanity and that of your children. Or do you want your horseband to impregnate your blood sister or daughters before you leave. I can't stand such man that you describe up there. This one that he is sleeping with everything under your very nose is bad and such should not be accepted in any home. Since he left all his responsibility for you, You are already leaving like a single parent, What's your fear? You can fend for your self, just get out of that toxic marriage now before you regret it.
ReplyDeleteHow do you know a person is irresponsible with money and still trust them enough to make financial decisions with them?
ReplyDeleteHow do you know a person is irresponsible with your emotions, and still show them your vulnerable side?
How do you know a person is irresponsible with your information and still open up to them?
I am asking for a friend because I dont underatsnd some of us. You dont know how to take cover in the face of deceit? Hian!
The same man jobless, he- goat, wife beater, spends recklessly, bad mouth you, attempts to elope with another woman. And you're perfect??
ReplyDeleteBoth of you need to have a serious talk if possible other party to help you both resolve this issue.
But for now, stop exchange of words with him to avoid the beating.
Of there's no headway , then you need to give yourselves space in order to revaluate the marriage.
She's a perfect woman. That has done nothing wrong in all of these.
DeleteAre you okay at all? Did she tell you that she's perfect?I pray you'll experience everything this woman has faced so people can ask you these same set of questions
DeleteKeep living your life for "what will people say" and your husband will continue to useless you anyhow. Your parents won't let you get divorced, Are you a baby?
ReplyDeleteIf you know you're being abused and you're being disrespected, my dear you're not a tree, you can move.
Put money aside, find a home for yourself and when you're ready, move. File for divorce and blank everyone who doesn't support you. Get out and get your life. It's 2020, no more excuses please
Most times you don't blame women who goes to spiritualist, babalawos, Alfas, pastors, etc to tie useless horsebands because of all these.
ReplyDeleteYour mum is wicked that is what I will say. She wants to receive you in a casket.
Lady, tell yourself enough is enough. Don't be afraid to take the challenge because I know God is with you except you don't want to believe that.
God Almighty hears the cries of women, children than men.
With God Almighty with you, you can do the impossibilities.
Leave that useless man and start afresh. It is well with you.
If you don’t walk out of this marriage as soon as you can and as quietly as possible you’re as hopeless and damned as your useless husband. Where did you bury your dignity? A predator who sexually assualts vulnerable minors is living with you and you can still tag him “husband”. I want to throw up! Leave that man immediately. If you desire love, God will bring a better man your way.
ReplyDeleteI’m pleading please leave that environment. Don’t listen to anybody. Just up and leave!
Ivannah
Why Is it Difficult For You To Leave Him.. Sheybi He wanted To Elope With Another Woman Before As The plan did not work he Now came Back To You and Pour His Frustration... Poster Sit In a Closet And Think Very Deeply.. Please Dnt Sit One Day and Says If I had Known...
ReplyDeleteI couldn’t finish your post, it’s too early in the year to get upset on top someone’s matter. I have to ask, are you tied to him permanently? I don’t know why you are still there but get out while you can and while the shame is still a bit under your control before he will do the unthinkable. He has a wandering dick and absolutely no respect for you.
ReplyDeleteTell your mother that if she loves him so much and she loves the marriage that she can leave her husband to marry yours. If she keeps insisting g you stay you will suspect she’s sleeping with him because he kuku has no limit on who he can sleep with. Cause her support for him and the marriage is not ordinary.
ReplyDeletePoster this marriage is too toxic to raise those innocent kids. The man has too many problems and untop he is jobless. Since you have a good job and can cater for yourself and your kids. Just leave!
ReplyDeletePoster leave this marriage while u can still breathe, u don't even need anybody to advice u on what to do..u talk as if u don't love nor value ur life at all..God forbids bad thing should happen to u,d man will marry another woman,so why do u want die untop this toxic marriage? Take ur children and leave,ur Mom and others will always talk! But being alive to cater for ur children should be ur priority! She has lived her life,don't let her dictate urs for u..thank God u are working,get an apartment and stay with ur children
ReplyDeleteAll d best
Dear poster I grew up in a similar environment you just described guess what I hate the idea of marriage or cohabiting with a man and I can't tolerate them,trust me you aren't doing your kids a favour growing up in such environment children always see and observe,Will probably just settle only because it's an evil neccessity and I pity the man,who knows my perception about marriage might change over time but for..
ReplyDeleteBeing married to a narcissist is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. They are manipulative, joyless and evil.
ReplyDeleteYou are the only one that can set yourself free from this man. Please find your own lane before he destroys you completely and damages your children's emotional well-being. I have found Dr Ramani Durvasula's guide on narcissism very helpful.Best wishes
If you die in that marriage, your beloved mother will cry for one week, eat better fufu and bitterleaf soup on your burial day, and move on with her beloved husband. choose the life you want to live. to please people or to be a happy human being
ReplyDeleteThe way people move on after a death in the family these days is mind boggling. Someone's sister dies this week and the next week they are posting pictures? Na wah.
Delete99% said divorce him. In the last Stella snm 99% are looking for husband. 99% of divorced women with or without kids are a plague - (well, my opinion, my reality though)! 99% of children with divorced parents end up poorly or becoming divorcees themselves.
ReplyDeleteHehehe see factual statistics.
Olodo wife, leave him while you are on top and he'll still survive, it's your miserability* that will tripple.
It is 2020 now and you can see very clearly that this farce of a marriage is going nowhere. Do you need to end up on life support or for him to fck your mother too before you realize that you are wasting time. You have your children, a source of income, a still working body then what is holding you? This mother of yours who forced you to marry this beast and is forcing you to stay with him needs to answer some questions. Why is staying in the marriage more important than your peace and safety? Why should her grandchildren be growing up in violence and dysfunction so that she can be happy? Does this guy have some dirty secret for her? Lady, this is YOUR life to live, do not let anyone keep you a prisoner in anything. You were born to be free, happy and at peace. Pack up and go. Free your children from a negative history. Let them sing you praise in your old age because you were brave and put their welfare first by leaving an abusive home. Pick up your legs and run and don't look back. Take back your power!!!
ReplyDeleteDo not tell anyone your plans again. Once you are convinced a break is what you need,plan towards it and execute.
ReplyDeleteDon you are such a fool! Empty skulled idiot! May life humble you and your idiotic reasoning!!!
ReplyDelete