STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
'GOSSIPY' FAMILY
I don't know if I am overreacting
Got married not 5 months and I am so close to my mum and tell her almost everything ,we even speak everyday.
I don't know if I am overreacting
Got married not 5 months and I am so close to my mum and tell her almost everything ,we even speak everyday.
My siblings come to my place some weekends to help out since I am pregnant... recently my younger sis and last bro came thru discussion, they told me how my immediate sister was bad mouthing me. They said she told my mum I like to mize food, I don't like cooking and am managing food which is a big fat lie and my mum too joined her and they discussed my matter for over an hour, was surprised that she of all people could say all that cos anytime she comes to my house I always make her over comfortable.
I confronted her and she denied but when she noticed I wasn't buying it she tried to sweet talk the issue later she cut the call on me and immediately went to report to my mum who in turn called my younger ones and told them they want to divide the house by telling me.
My mum never called me to trash the issue till I brought it up the next day all she could say was everybody gossips and it's not a big deal that my younger ones shouldn't have told me n my sis didn't do anything wrong like that.
Personally I feel she shouldn't encourage my younger ones to discuss my matrimonial home issues. Don't know if I am wrong.
Na wah.....These ones should not use gossip to spoil your home.....Why are they bringing their long throat to your Matrimonial home?its cos you allow it...Maybe you should stop giving them food when they come......Your mum is wrong....Put a stop to their gossipy ways....its not right!
Na wah.....These ones should not use gossip to spoil your home.....Why are they bringing their long throat to your Matrimonial home?its cos you allow it...Maybe you should stop giving them food when they come......Your mum is wrong....Put a stop to their gossipy ways....its not right!
Limit visiting your mom and the way your siblings visit you as well. You just be more concerned about your condition than all these unnecessary things
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Why do i get the feeling your sibblings told you this so you blow open you soup pot for them? I don't think they told you out of love but so to get you to be more generous with them.
DeleteGrow up girl. Take charge of your home, your emotions and stop being petty by encouraging petty talks. Let there be limit to visits and your over gisting even with your mum. You both can remain close with boundaries. If you manage food consumption in your home it's because you wear the shoe and knows where it pinches.
No big deal here. I have 3 sisters, 3 are married except the last. We all gossip each other. Babe if they gossip you today, tomorrow you pple will gossip another. That's life
DeleteExactly. No big deal in this. My mum gossip my sister with me. She gossip me with my sister when she visits her. Each time my sister and i speak, we talk about the things my mum said about each of us and we laugh and gossip her too. My mum has become so careful she knows whateveer she says, the other will hear and if she wants to gossip this day, she will beg me not to tell my sister. I too sometime threaten to divulge all she said. Look this things are normal amidst siblings. As long as its not coming from a place of bitterness, stife or envy. Pls relax.
DeleteBabe the bigger gossip among them is ur mom. IS NOT COMPULSORY YOU TELL YOUR MOM EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN YOUR HOUSE. How u eat! How u and and ur husband make love. Keep some to urself.
DeleteMind wat u tell them before they use it to insult u. Be wise.
Sisi, you tell your mom everything that happens in your matrimonial home?
ReplyDeleteAre you serious? 😮😮😮
Okay, you don yarn am how long ya drilling rod be and which position you like to stay during the drills??
Okwa ajuju o 😮😮😮
When God says a man should leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh... He is talking about the two being one, they know things that others do not know about them.
I don dey yarn am say most of my friends Naija girls no sabi wetin marriage means. They don't prepare for marriage but they prepare for "painting the town red and blue wedding" 😕
Nne, Sisi, those crowd has got no business in your matrimonial home...okwa before you write chronicle (God forbid oo) that ya husband's something made a mistake and committed "mild rape". Ekwuchakwa m.
Ndi Uta happy nu year again o
😱😱
I see nothing wrong with them visiting their sister, the visit shouldn’t be frequent. Some gossip teller at times do it for Favour they will gain from the person they are telling.
Delete@Side Chick
DeleteHope you aren't talking about my comment because I never said that there is anything wrong with her siblings visiting. My own siblings visit my home too but I don't tell them "everything that happens in my marriage" inugo?
Ngwa carry ya arrows and guns to another site. New Year love to you 😘😘😘😘😘
But this is a harmless talk nau that family members freely discuss. Na wah everything for internet.
DeleteAnon thank u. I told my mom everything indeed. Yeh yeh. Madam better learn to keep ur home matter for ur pillow. U sound immature for marriage
DeleteThird party is a marriage breaker, just imagine what they are gossiping about "food" women and their lose tongues. Let me sip my tea and pass jor
DeleteI don't see anything in what they said, look at it from this perspective, remember when you were young and you do something that will make mum punish you and you threaten everyone to keep shut, only for the last child to tell mum, well that's how it is now, I'm sure she did it as per normal reporting to mum, don't take it as a big deal joh, i however do not subscribe to you telling her everything as it pertains to your home, learn to keep somethings from her.
DeleteYou sound like the first child, you meant to bring your siblings together not scatter them; be wise!!! Next time your siblings come, cook one big soup and tell them they must finish it at one sitting, cook enough food that they'll loose interest, and them make fun of them in a funny way, they'll get the message and you'll notice they'll tell you more things they have observed about you, if you cool to give them your reasons, please do, they are young and will gain a lot by learning from you.
And also know it's better to take criticism from your blood than your in-laws, search yourself if it's true change.
Your mum should have cautioned her when she started talking about you being frugal with food. She listening and contributing encouraged it, and that’s not expected from a Mum. And to tell you she isn’t sorry, she is saying everyone gossips?! Yeah, but she is old enough to know the damage that can cause. She missed the opportunity to discourage such side talk among your siblings, instead she endorsed it.
ReplyDeleteTell her you expected more, and that that’s not how to how to encourage peaceful relations among you.
Hmmm you all grew up like that,you cant change it except to stop letting them in on your personal matters. My mom's family people are like this.. Just 5 in number but they discuss literally everything about each other plus children join. I won't call it gossip cos they never mean harm.. It's just family update. It only becomes a problem when it's malicious.
ReplyDeleteI think you should calm down and figure out their intentions. It just could be family update too. Pele.
My thoughts exactly. My family is like that too. We talk about each other whether behind or in each other's presence and laugh about stuff. I'm not sure there are any bad intentions. You shouldn't treat your family like strangers because you are now married.
DeleteFamily gossip is normal o, just for laughs, no biggie!
DeleteHonestly. If this is the first time they are having this type of issues, they should just forget this. Plus it may just be pregnancy hormones. I know how my sister was when she was pregnant. This is my sister I am very close to. But after pregnancy, she came back to her normal self. Calm down poster.
DeleteYeah, I don’t think they meant any harm. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you. This is normal family stuff
DeleteMarried people issues. 🙄
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteYou too stop calling your mum and telling her about your home. Una like wahala too much.
ReplyDeleteUna mouth be like whistle. Please stop gossiping. This is 2020. Don't encourage your younger ones and also don't be interested when they come with gossips. Kill that spirit of gossips, it has destroyed so many homes.
Goodluck
Well said,u now have your new home to build,reduce outsiders visiting you now
ReplyDeleteHer mother and siblings are outsiders?
DeleteOutsiders? Lool . Na wa o
DeleteThey are extended family members now.
DeleteThird parties
DeleteWell said,u now have your new home to build,reduce outsiders visiting you now
ReplyDeleteBane all of them from visiting for now. make them stay their house, But in actual fact we all gossip sha, its normal to complain about one another.
ReplyDeleteI swear oo. It's all love biko. No big deal there
DeleteBan*
DeleteMarriage of 5mths is too young to be having family coming over to stay weekend after weekend. Some ppl sef I don't like the idea of staying in a newly married couples home. Except you were living there before. And even with that I will give the couple their privacy in their home.
ReplyDeletePls limit how your siblings visit also. It's a good thing you are close to your mum but they are some discussions that shld be only btw husband and wife. You need to put up some friendly barrier with your family. If not your husband may even start disliking them if you start complaining abt them. Then issues will start coming btw you two.
Welcome to the real world..
DeleteThem say them say family. Abeg just ignore
ReplyDeleteI think you may be over reacting because of preggy hormones. This is just siblings trivia. But why give them small food. Stella is abroad and used to oyibo ways so please don't listen to her. Africans show love/hospitality by giving food, more than you can eat. But I guess as a new wife you want to impress hubby with your money saving skills. Please forget this matter. It's not that serious abeg. And I hope you haven't told your hubby. Na so una dey do until you experience things that will make you realize siblings are forever. That marriage fit scatter tomorrow but your siblings are for life. Take care.
ReplyDeleteThank you!!!
DeleteAnonymous thank you. Newly wedded couples especially womem always quick to tell their hubby things. Before you know it they have narrated all the family gist to their husband. Until they start having issues and realise siblings are forever
DeleteDon't you think it's too early for your people to be visiting already? Barely 5 months after wedding and they are already sleeping over. You should be allowed to enjoy your honeymoon because when children starts coming alone time with hubby will be very limited.
ReplyDeleteAs for the gossip thing, don't make a mountain out of a mole hill. As for your sister, if she feels you're not feeding her well when she comes to your house then she should stay in hers. You won't go and steal because you want to entertain family. Your marriage is too early for this unnecessary drama.
One thing I noticed with people who gossip a lot they can’t stand them being exposed and they feel so betrayed that other’s gossiped about them. Poster if you want to react to gossip especially within family you will end up having enough enemies, because keeping of malice will start and someone like me does really know how to keep malice, I talk to them normally and they feel they are right most times.
ReplyDeleteThough who’ve already confronted her, if I were you, I wouldn’t have done that. You should have just noted all the key things they gossip about, like the food, surprise them with plenty food when they visit or if you don’t have tell them, nothing dey sis or brother.
My advice since you’re married now and not living in your family house, they should reduce their visit and do the things you can do since you’re pregnant or call for their help when needed. You people should give yourselves space a little. But for me family gossip shall, it was just for you people to politely correct each other.
Your siblings will be acting like saints as if they are not part of the the discussion. Poster please don't read meaning to it. I do gossip with my siblings atymes.
ReplyDeleteStella says maybe you should stop giving them food when they come your house. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteSee ehn, stop telling your mom everything and give that your sister a loooong rope. Mind your business henceforth. Make everybody dey im lane.
ReplyDeleteNne this should be an eye opener, you are not supposed to tell your mum or sibling everything biko, pls don't take the issue to heart you hear, happens in most famillies
ReplyDeleteLimit d way ur siblings visits u,do d little house chores u can do and rest due to ur good condition, so ur siblings won't be coming often
ReplyDeleteNothing wrong in telling ur mom d happenings in ur new home really but it's not nice for her to be telling ur siblings.. Tell ur mom u don't like it
poster you need to put restriction on your siblings, let them understand that you are now married and not living a lone. You better stop allowing them come around, mind what you discuss with them about your marriage before they spoil your marriage till the extend they will stop respecting your husband.
ReplyDeleteIt will be best you try to do your house chores or get a nanny to assist you. Do not allow you and your siblings to have any problem.
For heaven's sake,you don't need this kind of nagativity from your so called family,especially in your condition!
ReplyDeleteYou need to stop discussing your marital issues with your mum.
Infact,be very careful of her because she's not acting like a responsible mother.
As for your immediate sister,shes jealous of you and your mum is supporting her.
You need to keep your mum and siblings far away and get yourself a maid!
If any of them come to your house,give them a silent treatment.
Make sure you don't discuss this with your hubby.
Kpele!
I don't know why you are upset or referring to them as gossipy. You said you tell virtually everything to them. When ever they say you are the architect of. In marriage you don't tell the details of your home. Learn to keep what happens in your home to you and your husband and they won't have what to gossip about.
ReplyDeleteIn the early years of marriage we all make one or two mistakes
DeleteIts high time you set boundaries...you dont have to tell your mum every thing about your marriage pls.
ReplyDeleteYou speak to your mum everyday, tell her almost everything and your siblings treat your marital home like a train station merged with a free hotel. A marriage of five months. Where is the space for the husband you married?
ReplyDeleteMay your marriage not be a casualty of your carelessness. Cos it will be very bad. Use your tongue to count your teeth; there are siblings that are not happy when you get married.
And if it was your husband who is talking to his mother everyday, telling her everything, and has his siblings over so often - you'd have sent a different type of chronicle. May you receive wisdom from God to do what you know you should do.
Tell God thank you!
ReplyDeleteNow zip up your mouth!
Tell your hubby is he is the type you can relate with,so that he too will be mindful of what he says if he is the free type wit Ur mom.
When your siblings call you tell them u went out,limit their coming over,
Get busy,
Reduce the way u visit our mom.
Tell yourself,history will never repeat itself in your kids,you are a mother to all.
Never make an unwanted visitor feel welcome
ReplyDeleteStop telling your people everything about you. Your home is too young for visitors to come, eat and sleep over.
ReplyDeleteAbi is there no food where they are coming from? Abi space to sleep, roll and stretch legs no dey for where they are coming from?
If it's your husband people coming to eat and sleep over like this, you wouldn't like it.
I sincerely don't see where the problem is though and I think your siblings shouldn't have told you. This is trivial family gossips and it ends there, nothing more. They might even be laughing and teasing you to each other as if you were there. You can tell them you don't like it and move on
ReplyDeletePoster for you to have time to talk to your mom every day means you obviously give her all the details of everything you do. Infact she is ur human diary. Am not saying is bad oo. Because since you talk to her everyday u must always look for things to tell her na.
ReplyDeleteYou cant keep talking about wat u talked about yesterday. Is either u continue giving her update on wat happen.. or wen u run out of tins to say u! You unconsciously start saying private tins btw u and ur husband that is supposed to be kept private. Am I wrong??? I have been in this position before dear. Every day talk and gossip with ur mom will make u tell her everything u do. Ur husband. Ur home updates. Bedroom secret. Pls cut down the communication. Ur marriage is too young for all these long talk.. Set boundaries especially to wat u say to ur mom! She is the chief organiser of these gossip talks.
She and ur immediate sis obviously gossip about u base in wat u hv fed ur mom with..
Good luck💕💜💝💞
Don't have anything to say
ReplyDeletePoster,
ReplyDelete1. limit the things you tell your mother. Not everything in your marriage you share with her. How would you feel if your husband tells his mother everything?
2. Put a stop to your siblings coming to your house and sleeping over. Your marriage is still young. Now is the time to get to know your husband as your husband, not boyfriend and build a strong bond with him before your children comes. Also, put yourselves in your husband's shoes. How do you think he feels about your relatives dropping in every now and then? How would you react if his siblings did the same?
3. Don't complain about your mother or your siblings to your husband so he doesn't start looking at them with a bad eye.
3.
Poster family gossip is a normal thing na anyway Lemmi believe its your beautiful condition that is worriny you cos I c no reason why you should make monkey out of the moon
ReplyDeleteI really don't see any big deal in this at all..
ReplyDeleteyou people must seek advice for everything sha, is it not common sense required for this?? stop sounding like your sister is a bad person, to be fair you are more of a gossip than her, imagine you gossiping about your family in a public forum like this.. think before you act before you destroy your close knitted family.. tchewww
ReplyDelete