STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE STORY OF A VIOLATED WOMAN WITH 3 KIDS FROM 3 FATHERS
Hello Stella good day,
I have heard a lot about how you and your BV's resets a stupid brain, I need mine reset too, I don't know if I am cursed or if this is natural, my story is a long one, please bear with me.
I was raped and impregnated at a very tender age, I had him in 2005 (a boy), and after a while, I met and fell in love with a guy, it was a sweet relationship until 2008 when he decided to go abroad, I tried to dissuade him from travelling but I was wasting my time cos his mind was made up already, I told him that I will not be waiting for him and if I see another suitor, that I will move on to him..
I was raped and impregnated at a very tender age, I had him in 2005 (a boy), and after a while, I met and fell in love with a guy, it was a sweet relationship until 2008 when he decided to go abroad, I tried to dissuade him from travelling but I was wasting my time cos his mind was made up already, I told him that I will not be waiting for him and if I see another suitor, that I will move on to him..
He agreed and left....
I got married a year after and had a baby girl, in 2010 my marriage crashed, the excessive beatings, the humiliations, the trauma was too much for me, Mr B (My ex-husband) collected my then 1yr old daughter from me, after giving me the beating of my life, I passed out and he took the baby, I have not seen the child even until this moment.
In 2013, Mr A (my ex boyfriend) had issues abroad and was deported, he came back with nothing, started singing about how he loves and misses me, he came all the way to my then location and paid me a visit, we were in my house for 3days, had s#x uncountable times, I fed and took care of him, the day he left, I got a message some hours later about how I have been used and dumped, how he will never want my type, especially after having two kids, I was shocked to my marrows...
Fast forward to 2018, the same Mr A (my ex boyfriend), came back to me and told me that he was sorry about everything that happened before and that now he was ready to marry me because I am the best thing that has ever happened to him, I agreed, he engaged me, and after like 4 months of no touching, something led to it and we had s#x, I became pregnant, I had a son for him in that 2018, but I saw hell in his hands, I considered suicide a lot of times but the thought of my kids kept me going...
My ex-husband heard that I was pregnant and has been with another man, he called and congratulated me on my new marriage, presently I am cohabiting with Mr A, training our son together, though I plan on moving out this January but the problem now is that Mr B (my ex-husband) wants me back, he said he has changed, that he is ready to accept me and the baby back if he has not paid my dowry yet, I don't love any of them anymore, I just want to move on with my life but how does one move on with 3 kids from 3 different fathers???
My ex-husband was terribly wicked to me, now he blames it on devil and his family.... What should I do please... I will be reading comments... God bless you all, I hope to be accepted into your family as a BV someday soon...
*You seem to have a taste for the same kind of men..
The problem with this now is that if i advice you to move on now,you will find a third man with these same qualities and end up with a fourth child for a fourth man....
If the man you are staying with now has not married you and you want to move on and your ex (Did you marry and divorce him properly?) is asking to have you back,why not go to him so that you can see how your daughter is faring and if she OK?
You don't love any of the two men anymore so whatever decision you take will be out of love for your kids for now...Your first man may still be the same and acting out of jealousy or he may have truly changed,I don't know....find out
Nollywood script
ReplyDeleteThings like this happen oh. My mum's cousin had kids for different men before she finally married her husband.
DeleteShe left them with those men and moved on. Pathetic! i told my mum, your cousin is supposed to be checking on her kids before they grow up and date themselves, not knowing they all came from same womb.
stories like this make me glad, I didn't marry out of fear or pressure. No man will mess with me. People with both parents alive are being maltreated, let alone an orphan.
It's going to be fire for fire oh, dey no born dey man well to touch me.
Things are happening .....
DeleteI know a lady who had 8 kids. 6 for different fathers and 2 for one man. This life eh.
DeleteYou don't have parents or siblings to call him for a meeting and ask him to sign an undertaking not to beat you again that's if you want to go back to your Ex husband.
DeleteNne, you made terribly wrong choices. You demeaned, despised and humiliated yourself by spreading legs asunder. You do not know love because you have not experienced the love of God in Christ.
ReplyDeleteA new life is what you need now and not these "exes and sexes". If you do go back to those type of dudes, all they will do is to spread your legs again, impregnate you, take the child, dump you and insult you and it will be a more descent into the abyss.
A person tells you he changed; really? 😮😮😮
Changed by who; does he know Jesus as his Savior and Lord?
Okwa ajuju o.
You need to begin the change from you; yes, you. Make Jesus your Lord and he will re-create this battered and demeaned life of yours. By the leading of his Spirit, you will be able to make the right choices.
Make I drop my yarns mic here for ndi uta's arrows 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
POSTER FIRST AND FOREMOST, GO GET A FAMILY PLANNING DONE. At least the one that will cover you for the next 5years. With that done there will be less worry of another accidental pregnancy for the next 5years. So you can make decisions with a clear head.
DeleteI agree with you dear
DeleteI'm in marriage as I type,I have lived my eight years for a horseband
I have decided no sex with that serial dick until him and I find Christ
We all need to love Jesus and the Holy Spirit before a man can truly love and respect us
So poster,use this thinking time to find Jesus and let Him balance all for you dear
My love to the kids sister!!😘😎
Ajuju o
DeleteWhy do ladies make this mistake of thinking that when they;
ReplyDelete1. give a man sex, he will love them?
2. Marry a vain abusive and evil person, they will change them?
Why? Why?
Leave those men alone and focus on raising your kids.
I have advised you but I sense that you will go back to this vomit of yours
thinking that you will have your snatched child. No. When the child grows up, he will seek
out his mother.
Yea,she should just move on..move on.sex can't keep a man.you need to love yourself first,you need to understand that you don't need those men to be who you want to be. Ask God yo come into your life and fill you with his love.live for your kids,keep tabs on those men and your kids..so your kids will be proud of you tomorrow.. Prayers..be on your knees and watch God in action.
DeleteI really feel your pain woman. If only you have a good and steady source of income would advice you stay away from men for at least a year. Concentrate more on your children and making money but it seems you always want to be with a man. E be like Toto too day scratch you.stay away from men for now and focus on your kids and making money.
ReplyDeleteA year is too short. She should stay away from men for minimum of 3years, if she is financially able becauae she has to take care of her Kids.
DeletePoster, you may return to your Ex BUT let him sign an undertaking that he won't maltreat you, when you get back home with him try as much as possible to find your footing then escape with your Children.
Why should she stay away from men when she needs one? Why do we view a woman having sex like the vilest thing meanwhile is is a basic human NEED. Note that she staying away from men and sex for 10years is no guarantee that the very next man she meets will not be the crowned king of A..holes.
Delete@sapphire, read the chronicle again. She may need to stay away for her mental health. She needs more growth, maturity and self love. This is not a case of a carefree girl looking for sex as well, no She is looking for love & relationship, but the men are looking for sex, and end up abusing and wounding her repeatedly. It's not an emotionally healthy place to be in. Do you accept any toaster that comes your way? No. Cos common sense tells us to choose responsibly..study them, know their motive, their character, their spirituality, their family, state of mind and so on. That is how to make good decisions. Not just in relationships but in career, buying things and so on.
DeleteForgot to add, if she must go back to one, if she wants to choose between them, I prefer her husband than the deportee. Poster you know them both well. Pray about it. Choose the one you trust, the kind one, the mentally balanced one. But also give them new terms and conditions. Good luck!
DeletePlease fear HIV, all these going back and forth is not healthy. You already have kids can't you stay without men? At this stage leave them alone and concentrate on fixing your battered self.
ReplyDeleteBe like this life you come so na to dey suffer.
ReplyDeletePlease why don't you manage yourself and pick up your life. Find out why these ugly monsters are after your kind.
Don't follow anyone for now. Best to do dishusband a and b.
It is well
Girl, you need to leave these men alone and focus on your children. Like c'mon! How many more fucked up men are you willing to take in?
ReplyDeleteFocus on your children!
Don't marry any of them. Just live your life & let them contribute to training their kids👌🏼
ReplyDeleteYou don’t need a Resetting Slap, the issue here is your Brain, it needs to be Washed!!!
ReplyDeleteLike Stella said, if you move on, there’s high tendency you will meet this type of men and you’ll be gullible as usual!
Why don’t you build your self esteem and ego. I’m so sorry about the ‘rape’ but that’s no justification for been loose and have no self respect.
Pick your pieces, your kids, lift your head High and move on. None of these men you mentioned is worth it.
It’s high time you start seeking means to see your daughter, seek welfare intervention. I’m surprised you’re not even concerned about that.
You are judgmental even though I agree she has low self esteems and is gullible but advice bearing in mind people are not the same and some upbringing and bad situations damages people so bad that it makes them make so many mistakes
DeleteWill you die if you are single?
ReplyDeleteMADAME, YOU'RE VERY GULLIBLE AND VULNERABLE................
ReplyDeleteYou need to build your self esteem and respect.
I'd advise you stay away from any form of relationship for now.
Get your acts together.You need time to heal and not considering any form of rebound bcos believe me, the kind of men you're involved with don't change.The circle continues if you don't get your act straight.
If I were you,I'll fight my way in getting my daughter back legally and not considering any reunion.
Your main priority is getting a life,being happy with yourself and taking care of you and your children.
reasonable and matured answer
DeleteLong read. You need the holy spirit direction to stir your life to the right path. you have been struggling on your own . Sorry for all the troubles you have been through.
ReplyDeleteAh... Madam, you don't need any man. Face yourself and kids and leave men alone(hopefully you have a career or business)
ReplyDeleteNone of these men are good for you. You seem to believe their words easily even when their actions are otherwise.
A better man will come when your life is more organized. Also find a way to reconcile with your daughter.
You can't move on o,I'm.sure if the man that raped you came back begging,you would go back to marry him. With your kind of person,you can't move on unless you are moving on to other. Manage one of the two at hand
ReplyDeleteLook for work and take care of your children,don't go to any of them,but you seems to like violent guys or yours pls leave their surrounding
ReplyDeleteThe man changed, is he fifty naira note?
ReplyDeleteOr is it "chains, chains..." that he is chanting? ⛓⛓⛓
The kind that Bubu chanted and was voted in?
Lol
DeleteI dont know what to say
ReplyDeleteYour priority should be getting custody of the child that was taken away from you since 2010!! Forget all these men for now..They dont mean well for you. Just ensure that they carry out their responsibilities as fathers .Dats all!!.They have seen your weakness and using it against you..You are beautiful and powerful...Please get something little no matter what just for the sake of those children..You have made your mistakes but dont allow those kids to have a wrong perception of life..You have 15yrs, 10yrs and 1 yr old babies to feed..Please be self-disciplined now that you have kids...God will help you. All the best
ReplyDeleteYou are setting a negative pattern for your life, that if not tackled now, will transcend into the lives of your children. Na so generational problems dey take start.
ReplyDeleteTake it or leave it, you really need Jesus to restore your life back in order, if you try to do this on self will alone, you will just succeed for a short time and flop and it's likely to get worse.
I beg you oo, seek Jesus desperately and genuinely, I am not very worried about you per se, I am more worried about your little children who may take up this way of life till it becomes a vicious circle.
BREAK THE CIRCLE NOW!!!
poster you have really messed up yourself, feeling and emotions. I will like to state here that you should understand the root problem why both men you decided to be with treated you wrongly, why did you ex husband treated you badly, why did your deported guy treated you badly.
ReplyDeleteyou reduced yourself so badly, you kept on accepting men who abuse you, who brought out the beast in you alive. Since this your present baby daddy hasn't gone to see your parents is best you move out of that house because for me you guys are not married and his family member will give you enough headache when he is no more. Will you be able to take that fire?
go back to your ex husband not because i want you to go back to accepting the abuse you suffered from him but i want you to go back so that you can see your daughter. Meet with him and your daughter, if he has changed just the way you said it try and give yourself space to think clearly of what you want from him. Do not continue the marriage with your ex till you are sure he has changed, if there is money time to settle for a better proposal with him than running from one prick to another.
I agree with 15:31 just move on please. I don't just understand why men does this. I am a single mother too and what I faced no be here at all and I kept on going back and him repeating the same
ReplyDeleteMy sis am no longer with him and I am at peace, though sometimes I feel lonely and crave for a man but I ain't going back to him in Jesus mighty name
Amen
DeleteAmen!
DeleteJust move on poster, it's not easy o but God will see you through
ReplyDeleteConcentrate on your kids and make sure you have a relationship with your daughter but don’t go back to her dad except you are sure he’s a changed person.Stop being gullible so you won’t end up with another scum.You deserve to be loved.Your priority should be your kids,sex is not food.Sit up and train your kids well.
ReplyDeleteThere is something in you that keeps bringing you together with such men. It might be stemming from the rape you encountered.
ReplyDeleteYou have to deal with this issue from the root, and the root is both psychological and spiritual. If you have the funds, you will need to see a good psychologist... how I wish you were abroad. Then you’ll need to start asking God to search you and reveal yourself to you, what it is that keeps making you get with men who use and abuse you, and how to change it.
If you don’t do extensive work on yourself from the roots, it’s most likely that any man you get with (whether an ex or a new man) will treat you as shabbily as you have experienced in the past.
You don't love your self at all.
ReplyDeleteI wish you will look into yourself and tell yourself the truth. How can you have 3 children from different men and still talk about men. What happens to the I factor. I mean I can do it myself. So many women are widows and are taking good care of their children. So many single women out there that have vowed never to marry rather to train their children and remain single mothers. Sex is not everything. Your health and life should matter to you. Please give yourself some brain. Move on. the world will not collapse if you remain single. If you dare go back to that your ex husband. That will be the worst mistake you will ever make in life. He will even kill. He has not changed. He is pained another man found you worthy to be with him. If he drags you off that man. He will pepper you. Who knows, maybe you have started sleeping with him again. Run for your life. You worth more in life than being used as a toy by men
ReplyDeletePoster forget these men and focus on ur children, make sure u get back ur baby that was taken from u also.. Get something doing to cater for them and say no to men,close ur legs
ReplyDeleteThe mistake is done already but don't beat urself up,just move on and take good care of ur children
All d best
Please let go of these men. Move to a cheap place u can afford, stay alone with the children you have. Let no man pressure you to come back. Don’t listen to any new man. U can do without sex for 5yrs. If u can’t use condom with a neutral person. Love ur self and get ur self esteem high. Join a great church, a new church, redeem or winners or any small church that is concerned about the welfare of its members. If u love ur self u won’t let these men use u like this. Don’t dwell on ur past. U are loved, u re beautiful.
ReplyDeleteIt gets to a point where you decide that marriage and relationship is not for you. You can condition your mind off sex or have safe casual and discreet sex but you need to put an end to these men disgracing you and running from one to another. Your life should not be a circus, you are a mother of three. Fix yourself.
ReplyDeleteYou don't need any of those men o, but am thinking how do you get to see your daughter since your ex husband is abusive.
ReplyDeleteAll these going back and forth with different men and having sex without protection is very risky. Please for the love of God, stay away from all of them and get your life together first, before you contact a deadly disease oh. Oh chim!
ReplyDeleteDear poster, I sincerely know you need a re-birth and an overhaul of your ENTIRE life. You need the glorious gospel of Christ so that you'll discover your purpose in life. God's help is your only way of escape from this dilemma.
ReplyDeleteFor now, you need to have a talk with your husband (the one that married you) and then meet a Councillor so that you guys can heal from the wounds the troubled relationship has put you. Do not just go back because there will likely be a repeat of the former things. All the best.
1. You are not a nice mother.I know you have not made any effort to see your daughter.All you care about na Man.
ReplyDelete2. You were not raped.Stop the lies.You actually a very loose person.Your ex boyfriend didnt lie.
3. Lets asssume you are suffering from lack of care as a child.
Na you sabi sha
Well done, Judgina!!!
DeleteAre you in her life???
I don't know what to say....
ReplyDeleteRapists are monsters! They ruin women mentally.
I'm so sorry for all you have gone through. Where is your family in all this?
Poster, you have to say "enough is enough", leave both men and focus on your children. Build your self esteem up by getting a job or learning a trade. Make it and your children your sole focus. Ignore both men, they have nothing good in store for you. Your ex husband has not changed. Don't deceive yourself.
GO TO MFM CHURCH FOR DELIVERANCE
ReplyDeleteI LOVE U
I agree with you. she needs prayers to break the bounds of bad men. i do feel for her, 3 kids for 3 diff men. chai
DeleteSister! Move on with your life , stay off serious relationships for now, find your feet and I assure you good man will find you and kkeep you
ReplyDeleteThis is not a nice story to hear, plssssssss dont go back to any of them. let them take care of their kids while you remain celibate till things sort out in future.
ReplyDeleteSis it is very easy for people to say leave both men. I am sure you are still young and don't want to die lonely. Those telling you to leave both men will never ever allow you to marry one of their brothers. They will be the first to say never will my brother or uncle marry after 3 and with 3 diff men. Nigerians hate single mums.
ReplyDeleteSis use your head as now they both want you so you have upper hand. Give them both serious condition THAT BENEFITS you eg job, house or business. That is your gain from all the pain and trauma. At the same time pray to God about both men and let God choose for you.
Shalom
Girl.... you have not dealt with the issues of your past. You are making poor choices because you have not dealt with that rape issue. And it is hard for you to grow past it because the evidence is still living with you; your child.
ReplyDeleteAs such, you are quick to be attached to anyone that shows any interest. You feel 'who would want me afterall.' Is like you dont know who you are.
See, there is a need for you to disentangle yourself from these men. God gives children and he will make a way for you to take care of them. If you genuinely ask him for assistance. You need to discover who you are in christ Jesus, so that people won't take you as a door mat, come and go, come and go.
You dont need a man right now. There is a journey you must embark on, it is a journey of healing and self discovery.
Also, I will suggest you Google who I am in christ Jesus by joyce Mayer, read it slowly and digest it. You are not a second hand goods because you got raped.
All the best!
Poster, I read your chronicle and picked up something sad- you respond strongly to being put down. It may stem from the trauma of being raped or your upbringing but that desire to be belittled, talked down to, maltreated and disrespected is strong. You are one of those few people who send in chronicles but don't ask that commenters be polite. You even want random people to reset your brain. You are stuck between two men who are in every way like your rapist and you have not even considered leaving both as a third option. You are living with a man who slept with you then broke it off by an insultive text and now that he claims he has changed, he won't take steps towards getting married, a status which you want. You are not asking the ex-husband about seeing your daughter but you are considering marrying him even after abusing you and keeping your daughter from you.
ReplyDeleteFrom my own viewpoint, you are yet to get over the time you were brutally assaulted by the monster who got you pregnant. That traumatic incident defined your relationship with the opposite sex and perhaps even affected other facets of your life- you lust for hurt and think it is what you deserve meanwhile, you are made for much more. Even psychopaths want to be treated well so what are you exempting yourself from respect?
I don't think you should have anything to do with any of these men- you can barely function as a unit, you have no business adding on men who only remember you when they are at rock bottom and want someone who they can hurt to feel good. You are nursing a huge wound and postponing the healing would only make your life worse and give your kids a bad legacy. The rape was not your fault but entirely the fault of the rapist,,- YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. If you can afford it, seek out a good psychologist and narrate this- don't go looking for a pastor or seer or prophet or whatever because believe me from all what I've read, you will settle for the most wicked of them and even get pregnant again. Your doctor can get you a psychologist or any reputable private hospital. Also have an effective contraception/family planning done so that you don't have that excuse you've used to hold yourself back "but I have a child for him". You have all the kids you need and your focus should be on strengthening their bond with you and each other. Even your inner child needs pampering so cancel getting pregnant ever again. Commit to bettering yourself in therapy and be prepared to do the work and practices.
If the cost of seeing a psychologist is too high, you can use self help books or psychological books like The Kindness Method by Shahroo Izadi or books by Bréne Brown. You can just check online and you'll see options. Read the foreword and introduction and see whether it connects with your situation and what you want out of life- if you don't know that, there are books to find one's purpose too. Don't shrug it off as "white people something". Mental health experts in Nigeria make a decent living because people who tell you to pray or go see their pastor park their cars far away and walk to go see them and pay per hour. Even their Daddies' families have weekly therapy by phone/ video callor travel abroad frequently for the same thing. Not everyone is going abroad for dialysis. They just don't talk about it. Don't deny yourself healing because people who take antibiotics and paracetamol said you should pray. Your life choices are a symptom of someone who is self sabotaging and hurting badly. Rick Warren's son committed suicide even though his father wrote Purpose Driven Life. No one or family is exempt from the reality of mental challges, it is just that some are medicating or managing and others are not. We've all had a headache, we all have our baggage. Stay away from both men and work on yourself and kids. I wish you the best.
Two things.
Delete1.I am not the poster.
2.I love you.
God bless you for this. May He increase your wisdom and take you to greater heights in Jesus name.
DeleteI don't know what to say poster but I'll advice you give your life to Christ first and ask him for wisdom..God be with you.
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you forget about marriage for now.Put yourself together and get something doing.If you need the D you can go collect once in a while.
ReplyDeleteStella gave the best advice ever,change your self so that better men can come your way, you seem to be attractive to the same kind of men.i know of someone who dey born for men of diff country the last wey she born na for beer parlour dey meet and na for street the man dick her,she no know him house or last name and he is not a Nigerian,had another person that gave birth for a guy she only know his first name,na for her house the guy dey come dick her till she get Belle the guy disappeared till this day
ReplyDelete