Na wah!!!!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADOPTING KIDS ISH
Stella I need to pour my heart out.
I'm 37 years old, a nurse but I have never been in a serious relationship hence why I'm still a virgin at this ripe age.
I earn 1600 euros, mortgaged my own house but I can't seem to find a decent man that will marry me and I don't want to loose my virginity before my wedding night.
To think that when I was younger because of false rumors about me people tagged me a loose girl not knowing that all the while I was still a virgin.
I live in Italy and work in a government hospital so I'm set until retirement. I'm already building my house in Ghana but who will I share it with? I long for my own husband and children. To think that my mates that where actually loose are already married with kids and I ask myself why me? What did I gain from being a good girl?
Nothing. Stella I don't keep too many friends( only two), I go to church every Sunday.
I have prayed and fasted but no result. Is this how I will end up? An old woman with no husband or kids? Where did I go wrong? All my sisters are married and they are all waiting for me the youngest among us to get married too. I want my mother to be able to carry my kids before she dies.
Stella I'm not ugly, I'm cute with a nice body but most importantly I work on having the best character everyday no matter the circumstances.
I don't masturbate, I don't drink, I don't smoke and I relate with everyone in a nice and gentle manner. I dress well, I cook well and I am nice and neat yet I am not able to find a decent man with a good paying job but most importantly a good background. I was thinking that maybe I should adopt one or two kids so I will have someone to pour my love on and that will be with me in my old age. One of my sisters when I brought up the idea said that she want to see me with my own kids and adopted ones are not like my own. I frankly disagree because I will love them like my own.
My question is should I go on with the adoption process and will me having around kids not spoil my chances with men the more since they will think that I'm a single mother? And if by God's grace I find a man, will he accept my adopted kids as his own since I don't want my adopted kids to feel different from my biological kids?
Stella and blog visitors please advice me like a sister.
Thank you and Happy new year
*A Virgin at 37 with a good body and face and a good Job and retirement plan but no man?WOW WOW WOW!!!!
First and foremost as an African lady,adopting kids will complicate your issue if you want to end up with a fellow African.....Their mentality does not allow them quickly marry women with kids and if do,they dont wanna train kids that are not theirs,so if you find one,he may end up asking that you give up the adopted kids and have yours.....
Here was I thinking only jobless women don't see husbands.
ReplyDeleteA lot of women without jobs are married to men who spoils them and built them up. Stop generalizing. Poster it is well.
DeletePoster let pray and sing together
DeleteCan you please join my Church praise this year? as our theme for the year is A NEW SONG
Pray or sing from 11*30 - 12*15
That's the spiritual solution
The physical is try to be friendly, don't look down on any suitors, some diamonds comes rough. 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
Poster I'm going through thesame problem as you. I lived my life trying to be a good girl and got engaged at 20, few months to the wedding my first ever boyfriend just disappeared. From then it's been disappointment no matter what I do. I decided to go into a relationship last year to even get pregnant but I lost the pregnancy and i got messed up badly even though i could take care of myself in every way. I want to adopt as a last option but that not withstanding I'm so full of fear. Sometimes i feel I'm under a curse that can't be broken. I have prayed and prayed, done countless deliverance. Nigerian pastors have used my eyes to see pepper that I became allergic to the word pastor. I'm so tired I just want to give up.
DeletePoster, it's only a mad man that keeps using the same method and expecting the same result.
DeleteI used to be like you and asked almost these kinda questions. You know what? Those people you judge as being better than or more descent than must be doing something right after all to attract with little effort that thing you have fasted and killed yourself for. No body is attracted to a person who always seem to carry the weight of the whole world on his/her shoulders. You need JOY. Obviously, your virginity is not giving you joy so you are frustrated at those that this not treasure theirs.
You know what? The one statement that reset my head when I was at almost the same point you are right now? YOUTH IS TRANSIENT. One day you will wake up and wonder what happened to time. You 'll become bitter and judgmental of young people having fun and enjoying their youth the way you never did. You will be filled with regrets. GO OUT AND HAVE SEX! It is good for your physical and mental health at 37! Make friends, go out, shop, don't pile all your income one only investments. GO OUT AND make mistakes. Get fu-ked and dumped, pick yourself up and try again. It is part of life and you only get to live ONCE.
Poster please make yourself happy. If you have the means, adopt a child legally and give your love to that child. Don't be considering the opinion of one potential future husband that you don't have guarantee of or that of family members that have their own family to keep them happy. Go about the adoption legally and not by taking in any family child because that one will surely backfire. I wish you best of luck.
Delete@saphire I feel like hugging u. At a point in life I feel I did all dat but is not late poster.
DeleteStop living a dull life. Go out and get all the happiness u deserve.
Nice advice sapphire! Nice advice!👏 Keep at it... you hear?🚶♂️
DeleteBefore you advise people sapphire always know they are two categories. A good girl by worldly standards and a good girl by God's standard( not necessarily a virgin) but someone who lives for only God.
DeleteAlways have this at the back of your mind before giving advice outside of the will of God.
Hugging you back @Sexyhips.
DeleteExactly! I was exactly like her till I reminded myself life is passing me by and my sense of entitlement will lead me no where. I changed strategy and became more friendly and less rigid. I started having fun and became more pleasant. And boom, it worked. Men became attracted to me and I stopped taking break ups too personal. I started moving on faster, guarding my joy. Marriage found me while i was having fun and carefree.
Gbam @Sapphire!!! Poster, go out and have sex.. the world is yours!
DeleteI wonder how y'all virgins do it. Such a boring and monotonous life
Poster u r SELFISH! U r perfect and still searching for perfect? Like don’t work like that. Opposite attracts.
DeleteWen u r ready to marry step down ur high standards and look for a man to bring up.
U r supposed to use ur life to better another, an Armrobber, a gay man a deviant sha. Someone who has lost grace of God, allow God lead u to them.
SDK where is my comment 😭😭😭😭😭
DeleteI just wanted to type this @saphire.
DeleteYour first step this year is to live a little.
Stop brooding and live. Sex is the easiest key to unlock your life to be free. But if you dont want, fine.
Buy make up, look good, buy a train ticket to paris, go to clubs there, travel, have fun, upgrade your fashion sense.
Stop looking like a lamp please.
Hang out with your colleagues.
Approach a fun one and ask him or her to take you clubbing next time, that you'll pay for drinks.
Live live and be merry for life is fleeting.
E dey bible sef.
Meanwhile, stop fasting please.
Instead book hair and nail appointments
U are a very selfish person, my friend go and fuck and get pregnant and have your own children, u think being a virgin will take u to heaven, nonsense.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you thou. I keep asking the question. Why are decent girls with good character not getting married. Either we get married to poor man or struggling guy or end up with none.
ReplyDeleteI advise you follow your heart ma. If I come this life again. I doubt I will be a good girl o. I go loose die. Who good girl epp.🙄
Sending you love💖💖💕💜💜😍
Good girl has helped a lot of women oo. It is just that the good girls hardly come out to brag when it eventually click because they have nothing to proof.
DeleteBeing a good girl was your personal choice and shouldn't be regretted, many people are dead. As hard as it may seem, count your blessings and name them.
DeleteAdoption is a welcome development, and any sensible man will respect your choice, show a motherless child all your love, while you keep waiting for love to find you.
You have food, you have good health and you have life, give thanks for that.
I dont masturbate?? Where did that come from? 😂😂
ReplyDeleteIt's necessary she adds it. I was happy when I saw that. Because people automatically assume you masturbate when they find out you are a virgin. I think she added it to show she isn't just a virgin bodywise but mindwise
DeleteSelf righteousness!
DeleteIt was necessary because when you tell people that you're a virgin or that you are not sexually active, they assume that you're probably satisfying yourself with sex toys and what not.
DeleteSo, her adding that line was important.
She was just trying to paint the whole picture haba! Leave her be.. If the fact that she doesn't masturbate is self-righteousness then the fact that she told us she is a virgin according to you both, is also self righteousness.
DeleteDamnit! Women are extreme beings sha...*we men* don't care whether you masturbate or do anal or suck prick for Africa, or what not, as long as your punani hasn't been vandalized/mutilated by a thunderous ravelling train/tractor that is more gargantuan than our "righteous Willie", then we are good!
DeleteBeing a virgin doesn't guaranteed you anything. It doesn't guaranteed you a perfect marriage.
ReplyDeleteCheck yourself, who knows if you have a bad characters or you are the one causing the right people away.
Chasing*
DeleteOriginal @Don tell them. Check yourself very well, maybe you detest men, maybe you despise us; it's not normal to be stark single at this your age - 38 soon! Maybe you are not wired for regular union with a man..... lemme tell you something, men(we) don't need you to survive - you overate yourself. A good marriage and good life is about humility not achievements and accomplishments.
DeleteFor once I agree.
DeleteBe humble and learn from others.
I bet you despise your colleagues who hang out and give the opposite sex hugs and pecks.
Laugh and live biko.
Cos, I'm sorry, but as Italy the city of love reach, at least even oyibo should show interest.
The fault MIGHT be yours. Ask someone to tell you truthfully why .
Maybe a male colleague.
Anon, Paris is the city of love
DeleteIt is well with you poster.
ReplyDeleteYou have a good life going on but for a spouse. You have ruled out any deformities and have acknowledged that you are building your character, that’s good enough. However whether a virgin or not, it doesn’t guarantee having a happy home after you do have a man, so give kudos to yourself for having self discipline. About adopting kids, that’s a wise decision if you ask me. Yes African men’s mentality is quite different in that matter but you have come this far with your life and the least you should be worried is what would people think. If you want to adopt kids, please do just be ready to be a very good parent. I plan on adopting myself by God’s grace someday.
Shalom.
What do you look out in people's background? Money or fame? A good man might pass you by while you're busy looking for the one with good paying job and good background.
ReplyDeleteFan on point! 👌🏾
Delete#myfavouritebv2019
It is well with you poster.
ReplyDeleteYou have a good life going on but for a spouse. You have ruled out any deformities and have acknowledged that you are building your character, that’s good enough. However whether a virgin or not, it doesn’t guarantee having a happy home after you do have a man, so give kudos to yourself for having self discipline. About adopting kids, that’s a wise decision if you ask me. Yes African men’s mentality is quite different in that matter but you have come this far with your life and the least you should be worried is what would people think. If you want to adopt kids, please do just be ready to be a very good parent. I plan on adopting myself by God’s grace someday.
Shalom.
Lady sacrifice breaks every yoke of the devil. You are really burdened at 37 while some of your mates are in the grave. Different strokes for different people.
ReplyDeleteSince you are in Italy and you go to church. What are you in the church .. A spectator or a player. Pray to God for what department to function in the church and also sow a very good seed. It is between you and God, drop in the Altar and pray to God to grant you your wish.
Finally remove your mind from it and you will be surprised.
Sacrifices answer to sacrifices. Most don't understand but believe you are dashing money to pastors.
If there is anything you can be giving like when something spoilt, you take it upon yourself to replace.
You will be surprised. Try it. Not everything be prayers ooo. You move the hands of God by sacrifices. Read the great men in the Bible, they all made sacrifices that made their ways opened.
My opinion. Talk yours and keep moving. We are in 2020
God will give you your own husband in Jesus name Amen. God Will show up for you don't fret. Your destiny and life's path of you and your sisters are different. You may come from the same parent but every one of you is unique in her own way. Please don't hate me for what I am about to say but I beg you anything God won't do kindly leave it undone. He is the only one that knows why he is delaying. He sees the future and the fact that he hasn't answered doesn't mean he has forgotten you. He knows your end from your beginning. He will give you the best. Please be patient and don't just marry anybody. You have been patient till now hold on a little longer. You don't know what God is saving you from or what he has in store for you. You are almost there.
ReplyDeletePoster, I think there's something you are not saying here in your chronicle.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever had a relationship?
Do men approach you for a relationship?
Did you participated in the Stella single and mingle?
Have you ever seen a man that you liked? If yes, did you approached him?
Are you only looking for men of a particular race/ethnicity or are you open to men of all races?
You need to start socialising with people of the opposite sex. Yes, it is good that you're a virgin, with good character, but first impression matters a lot too.
Are there no men of marriageable age in your church?
Don't let any man that will approach you for a relationship know that you have a mortgage house. They don't have to know that you're building a house in your home country either. Neither do they have to know of how much you earn.
It is not easy finding genuine love in Europe for so many women. But, I believe you will find a man that will live with you until old age soon.
Stella do single and mingle for her please.
The thing I believe she isn't saying is that they all want sex before marriage. And since she won't give in they leave after some time. I may be wrong but that is what I have noticed. Virgins hardly get into serious relationships except the man is truly Godly else he tries to cajole her into doing other things( foreplay and all) and if you don't want that. Most of them bounce.
DeleteIt’s did you participate point of correction
DeleteSis i think you are letting this issue consume you, you will get a man but please take this issue off your mind. Focus on other things, don't adopt, at least not yet.
ReplyDeleteYou will see them coming out now that you can live your life without a man,but na them full SNM pass.
ReplyDeleteI will advice to keep up with the faith your Mr right will come soon.
What works for A might not work for B...you being 37 doesn't mean you can't have that man,I will not advice you to adopt yet,just still stick around and hope your Mr right will be with you soon.
And dont listen to anyone who says focus on your job men are scum,na them dey privately cry to God for night when there Mr right go come.
Are you the 37 years old lady that made OA to start that 7 days fasting prayer points for singles? Please wait on God. He knows best. I myself I am a virgin in my 30s, everywhere I go small kids walk up to me and tell me aunty you are beautiful, even women. I have the purest of hearts yet I am single. The only thing that gives me hope is because I have the gifts of dream since I was a child and anything I see that is good come to pass while the bad ones I fast and pray over them and God prevents it. Even when bv Martin got married before stella announced it on the blog I dreamt about it, I saw everything that when stella announced it I wasn't even surprised. So Due to the nature of my Gift, God has shown me my husband countless times, I just haven't met him physically but I know it's this year by his grace if he is willing Amen.
ReplyDeleteBe prayerful get closer to God and stop bothering yourself, he has given you, you just haven't met in yet.
Please single ladies also pray for you future spouse before you meet them as you pray for yourselves every single day.
You dreamt about bv martins marriage before it was brought on here?😲😳🧐
Delete15:20....can we be friends...I love people that can dream.
DeleteA lot of "gifted" people have these sort of challenges. I don't know, maybe it's the "thorn-in-the-flesh" sort of experience Paul had? I pray for you dear that the God you serve will come through for you.
DeleteGet that entitlement mentality of your head, this is 2020. Marriage has no business with whether you good, virgin or rich at least from what we've read here.
ReplyDeleteGet sperm from the bank, get pregnant and have a baby. Adoption is too complex with a lot of baggage in the future. If you still insist on adopting, please let it be a girl.
OMG! This blog actually has people that can think! Thank you so much @Anonymous Chielo. I'm so surprised there's people that think like you! I have no idea how all the qualities she listed makes her marriageble. Her chronicles reeks of entitlement. I only disagree when it comes to sperm bank. I think she should go adopt. Sperm bank does actually complicate things as well. I'm a virgin yen yen yen, please let me see road. Your life choices led you here.
DeleteBesides, you actually don't have to be married or even have kids. You are 37 and you have none of that and you are not dead. You better continue living your life. One would think at your age you would have resolved to live your best life regardless. I am in my late 30s and very much unmarried and childless. I don't even care. My friend who was married with kids recently passed from cancer and she was 2 years younger than me. Another acquaintance of mine lost her kid to congenital heart disease and others who are married are struggling in one way or the other, some with infertility, others with infidelity, etc. I thought to myself, life is about living your best regardless of your circumstances.
Marriage and kids would not solve all of life's problems, they come with theirs. It's either you resolve to be happy or you remain miserable. Marriage may or may not come, kids may or may not come, my advice to you is to keep your head up, connect with your community and smile. I hate chronicles like this. It opens you up for speculation and baseless assumptions and pity party when there's absolutely nothing wrong with your life.
This one right here is very loud and I gallantly endorse this approach. #veryentitledselfacclaimedgoodgirl
DeleteExactly! I was exactly like her till I reminded myself life is passing me by and my sense of entitlement will lead me no where. I changed strategy and became more friendly and less rigid. I started having fun and became more pleasant. And boom, it worked. Men became attracted to me and I stopped taking break ups too personal. I started moving on faster, guarding my joy. Marriage found me while i was having fun and carefree.
DeleteSapphire 💋💋💋
DeleteThanks to SDK blog, my thinking has changed alot.
DeleteI love this blog and BVs. Many types shapes and sizes. But they can think.
DeletePoster i was touched reading your chronicle and i pray God in his infinite mercy will grant you the desires of your heart speedily.
ReplyDeletePlease check SP tommorrow morning and join the fast and prayers led by the Real OA.
It will end in praise.
I feel she is the actual reason why it was started in the first place. I think poster is the same person because the other lady too was a virgin.
DeletePoster just be patient don't be smarter than God. He knows you want kids and you also want a husband. He will give you don't make the mistake of taking an action what will hinder his plans. You can adopt after you are married but before, most men would even think you are a married woman when they see you with those kids. The man God has for you may be someone who God has shown in the dream that his wife is "very single" and he starts looking around then sees you with two kids and thinks Nah that can't be her. He may even think you are married then he stops and says she can't be the one for I know what God showed me, whereas you are the one but the kids with you has convinced him otherwise. Some people God has shown their future spouse they are dark in complexion but may missed him after bleaching and he walks past them and look the other side while searching for the dark skinned lady he saw in his dream. You are closer to your victory than you think, don't take any step out of fear 🙏
I was really following your comment but you lost me at the end.........
DeleteAh, the devil is A LIAR! You're 37, not 3700. In Jesus' Name, I forbid you to give up!
ReplyDeleteMay the God that showed up for me, show up and wipe your shame. May He show you why it's taking so long. If anyone had told me that I'd get married how and when I did, I'd have said they were on drugs. It was that serious. Even my family members told me, "You were carrying God on your head. What has He done for you? He has ruined your life! Shebi na you holy pass."
The king of my hometown (not even village) attended my wedding. That just doesn't happen. Wedding that was even meant to be quiet, oh! My biological father is dead yet I was given a royal wedding that I didn't pay a dime for. The man I'm married to, only God could have done this one. And afterwards, I was getting messages from townspeople I didn't know who said they had heard of me; the woman that God chose to honour after she chose Him.
If you can, please join the fast from tomorrow morning (I'm not sure what time it is on your end now but we've just done day 3). Check SP for more info. Yeah, I know you've fasted before and even done deliverance. God takes time but ain't nobody who can tell me that He doesn't come through. Take it from someone who they said "nothing good will ever come out of this one", who "entered school late" - God does NOT lie. He put that desire for your own husband and children in you. Don't allow desperation to push you into what will make a mockery of all your waiting so far. I'm praying for you.
I believe you will pray for her that why I love you. You are not perfect, no one is, but you have love in your heart🤗
DeleteI read through comments, I really looked out for yours. @therealOA Daalu!
DeleteBy faith, join in the Real OA's prayer programme.
ReplyDeleteAlso, note that the most important relationship ever is the one we develop with God. Prioritise that and let God work things out. Cheers
It’s still not late. You still got time. 37yrs is not old age. Work on yourself and start hanging out more starting with your colleagues. Don’t be quick to rush home after work(I understand it can be a long day). Take walks in the park, window shopping, attend home fellowship. Try to engage in activities. Trust me, life ain’t hat serious like you thought it to be ans most importantly, you need to love yourself a whole lot more than you already do. Slap on makeup, smile more often, go to clubs, restaurants, take pictures and post and be open to conversations. Don’t be so quick to shut people out (I think you do that). Let your friends know you wanna hangout with them whenever the opportunity presents itself. Sieve through the attention and you will find serious minded fellows to go on a dating path with. And lady, from now on, you don’t have anything! You don’t own anything ! You are just a humble work it girl with nothing to her name. Learn not to give impression no matter how hard it tried to pop out. With time, the discovery of who you are will be made but for now, just live humbly and observe BUT don’t take shit 😘💕.
ReplyDeleteIn btw I’m 37yrs also and my life ain’t so perfect but I’m happy with my progress. Let God take the wheel. 😘😘
White Enchantress, your advice, the few times you give it, is always practical and empathetic. It speaks to the type of person you are.
DeleteGreat advice white enchantress. ❤️
Delete❤❤
DeleteNa waa a Virgin at 36yrs, interesting. I think she is setting a standard for herself, a good man with a well paying job. At times things are not always the way it seems. Lower your guards, make friends go to ceremonies,Maybe you can try men with potential, or even buy a man, have children, if the marriage did not work out, so be it
ReplyDeletePlease how do one buy a man?
Delete@Anon 16:46 don't mind this one, na small girl. In case you don't understand: men are not for sale - fuck boys are.
DeleteAfter 9 & I'm still here, wonderment!! I must 4kin luv this chronicle...... hehehe
But babe, why didn't you participate in the last singles and mingles??? You could have participated in it and indicate that you want Ghanaians living in Italy. Relax. Trust God, go out more, join a department in your church,, you never can tell. Join your village peoples meeting. It is well. You are still young. Don't get old in your head OK?
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha! I remember a debate in secondary school that ended with the line “so u see, it doesn’t not pay to be a good girl”
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for laughing...not
Aunty I am sure you chased away men with your no sex before marriage now u r looking to adopt kids that their mother had sex before marriage. Nonsense!
Who buys a car without test driving it or buys a dress without testing them for fitting except a fool. See where ur holiness has brought you. Read Ecclesiastics 7:6
What makes you think your virginity or retirement or house will get you a man. Your foundation was faulty ab initio.
Fasting and prayer has not helped you maybe you should try Fucking and partying.
You will soon hit menopause without even MASTURBATING!
So blunt. Best comment
DeleteMay God forgive you for everything you wrote in Jesus name Amen. Oh! You shouldn't have said all of that to her.
DeleteI am anon 19:30. I just feel like crying reading your response because it hits close to home. Well, it's tears of joy. You reminded me of my past and how people talked down on me. How men mocked me for serving God to think you even quoted the Bible to shame her.
Fasting and prayer have not helped her? who is she fasting and praying to? If not God. So you are indirectly saying since God has not helped her she should start fornicating? You are so bold, may God not slap your mouth and make all your teeth fall off.
The poster I pray and use myself as a point of contact for you. The God who did it for me will do it for you. He will give you a testimony that seems like a lie. People who mocked you will rejoice with you and use your life outcome as a prayer point. They will swallow their words and take every insults, mockery and shade they threw at you back when you come back here to give your testimony. They will cower in disgrace and be ashamed of their own foolery. I pray God will see this man's/ woman comment above me and will turn your shame to victory. You will laugh last.
Your last paragraph... You must be God? And you have the final say, right? Smh.
Anon do you pray to have kids and give them up for adoption? No. So You see, you just shot yourself in the foot. Because your comment just proved the poster did the right thing by closing her legs.
DeleteThat is one less child being sent to the orphanage thanks to her no-sex principles. Because according to you if the mothers of those children closed their legs like the poster then their children won't find themselves in orphanages home hoping a focused woman like the poster save them from where their biological mother dumped them right?
Dante, is this you?
DeleteI noticed that whenever a virgin sends in a chronicle
you are always jumping and mocking You don't know more than testing like it's a
machine. Did a virgin dump you or what
I'm sure a virgin showed him pepper in the past.
DeleteWhat do you guys expect from satan? That's the voice of the enemy now. He does nothing other than mock God and the people who have chosen to walk in His ways but or God is faithful. Poster I'm 35 and I feel your pains coz I'm single too but I have chosen to walk by faith and not by sight. In the natural, it doesn't ever seem like things will change but I declare God's word using scripture that my wedding will be this year and I believe it. In fact I've started planning my wedding sef. Not just in my head o. My pastor says God meets the actions of our faith with His power so I suggest that you leave the realm of hope and enter the realm of faith. Stop seeing yourself as cursed and start seeing yourself as blessed and declaring so. Your confession will change your beliefs which will change actions which will change your reality. Disagree with any other voice in your mind and agree with God's word. Shalom
DeleteI wish I can introduce you to my relatives particularly my descent uncle whom can’t find ❤️
ReplyDeleteIntroduce me mbok
Delete"Going to church and being a good girl" is not a guarantee of eternal life or good husband
ReplyDeleteBeing in Christ, knowing him as your Lord and Savior, is a guarantee of eternal life which you work out with Good character.
Being saved by Christ is to seek the Kingdom of God and his righteousness and all other things, including husband (if you are meant to marry) will be added to you.
So pleas dear, drop this mentality of I am a good girl and go to church. Jesus says search the Scriptures and you will find me, not go to church especially when most churches aren't teaching his Word but are pandering to the ways of the World.
Concerning your present predicament, it is not strange.. You are not the only woman in such a situation and you can overcome it.
Make Jesus your Lord and God will be your father whom you can table these things before and allow his Spirit to lead you.
Study the teachings of Christ to know him better. God says he gives without finding faults, he sends rain and sun to the wicked and righteous alike. But he has set a day to judge the sinners on how they lived their lives here on earth.
Google these quotes and learn more about the Character of God.
If you are desperate, a lot of Nigerian men will swoop on you as a ticket to Europe and not necessarily to marry you for life.
Pls I need more enlightenment on the fast pls
ReplyDeleteCheck SP.
DeleteHey poster I know it might be hard for you right now but please dont give up. Marriage is not a criteria to making heaven. Get more busy trying to find Gods purpose for your life. Your God given spouse might meet you doing that. I feel there are other things that matter in life and to God which are touching others and living for him.Marriage no dey heaven... At the end of the day we are still single individuals who would give account o our lives to a maker. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteYou have alot to be thankful for, firstly life, secondly a good career path, thirdly for being single and not a widow. What if you had married and the man dies, what if you had married and has been waiting for your own children for years or you had divorced. Its not how early it's how well. I got married at 23, my hubby died when he was 37, so was married for just 2 years and and some months and we tried to conceive all through those period. I will be 27 this year and I believe God thought for us all are for good. I just tell single ladies around me that they are lucky they are single and not widowed. So just be you, be true to yourself, it's ok to to want a responsible working class man. Going to church doesn't make you good, serving God does, join a group in church if you are not in any, be more humble, it may be difficult especially when you can afford all you want but people are actually watching you. God will give you his best for you that is your own. I had to go Anon on this
ReplyDeleteOh dear, so sorry for your loss.
DeleteIn as much as I'm one of those that believe in having a companion, but I also believe that we should be grateful for life and health whether we are married, single or in a relationship.
Look at you so young and a widow, I can't even fathom the pains you're feeling.
Sending you lots of hugs darling. You're a strong lady.
🤗🤗🤗🤗💖💖💖💖
Chai, so sorry dear. I hope and pray respite comes your way soonest.
DeleteThanks Mrs A, and King.
DeleteE-hugs from me too darling. Hold on, it'll still end in praise.
DeleteAbeg madam calm down! You are talking as if not being married is a death sentence. It is the "I never smoked one day in my life so I don't no why I have lung cancer" type talk. Please go and adopt. A lot of people are actually going through divorces at 37 without kids from the marriage at least that was my story. Nothing guarantees marriage talk less of a happy marriage. That you are a virgin is because of the choices you have made not anything else. You deprived yourself of sexual pleasure during the best years of your life when your body was in it's best shape and that really has nothing to do with your unmarried status. I'm sure there are older, single and happy women around you, go make friends with them. If the marriage comes you take, otherwise face front!
ReplyDeleteLMAO this one here na akpako woman. Mean soul. Maybe you work for Nigerian police. From your disposition that's the closest I can predict.
DeleteKing,you are about case o! Nigerian Police really got me laughing.Thanks for making me laugh,despite all the challenges I have at the moment.
DeleteAnon 16:08 You think you've given good advice but you sound so bitter. Please don't project your failures on her. That others married and divorced at 37 should not be her concern.
DeletePoster u say u are a Christian and you go to church have you ever tried praying for your friends or family members who are also in the line for their own spouses.. raise them up in prayers n God will remember you.
ReplyDeleteMay God remember you at the soonest possible time... Its not too late.
DeleteThere was a similar case once featured in a church in Warri or Abuja (not sure) She was in her 40s, virgin and had a good Govt job here. In her case, she was the eldest and had trained all her younger ones, supporting them financially with their weddings. Yet, she wasnt married and had no children. She said God told her to sow her full salary for about 3 months and on the 4th month, someone went to her fathers house in the village to see her. Coincidentally she was visiting. The man told her his wedding date and she said she didnt even know she was supposed to be the bride cos she only just met the man. Long story short, she got married and everyone contributed for her wedding out of intense happiness, to the extent that she bought land with the money she received as cash gift.
ReplyDeleteShe also said each time a person came, she would announce and before you know it the relationship would break up. She said she was led to not disclose this to anyone outside her immediate family - especially an aunt of hers. And so it eventually happened.
My point is, doing all these wonderful things and not taking specific instructions from God may not yield the results you want. Prayer is both ways - you talk to God and He talks back. So what is God saying to you about your situation? Wait, stop or even change location? Marriage is not a reward for being good but if it's what you want for yourself God can do it for you. However, download your own instruction manual from Him. That would give you confidence about your situation.
See, as I'm here, God has told me the age I will marry. Specific age. Because of this, no one can pressurize me, nobody's wedding can make me feel anyhow, and if anyone thinks they are mocking me they are mocking themselves. I'm closer to that age now and 3 people in my family have dreamt about my traditional wedding in the past few couple of months. Am I surprised? No. There's some peace of mind you have when you have heard directly from God. So.... calm down, take time off work early this 2020 and download your own. God is not an author of confusion. You want to adopt? Ask Him what He is saying. Maybe it's that child that would even bring your closer to your dream man because he is a single dad in your environment. Or what prayer and fasting are you doing if you arent listening to the one you are praying to? See ehn.... God's sense of humor is top notch, my dear. You cant know it if you dont ask Him. Good luck!
Chikito, I agree that prayer is a conversation but I sometimes wonder why I don't hear back. I guess silence is also a response.
DeleteChikito biko manage this cold hollandia yoghurt from me.
DeleteGod bless you for this
More wisdom!
Happened in Abuja, I watched her testimony online on Facebook, Pastor Eneche Church page. and I wept.She got married at 44.God settled her in an amazing way. God isn’t dead poster, He surely will do it.
DeleteChikito u r blessed u r a source of inspiration poster pls listen to these
Delete@nutella silence is also a response. Silence could mean no.
DeleteThanks @big banty
@CFV right.👍🏽
This chikito and that qwin boss lady were/are 2 of my sworn enemies on this blog from my time in the past but I have to admit that I am impressed a lil bit by this.......may you realize that treasure when it finally arrives.
DeleteOn a lighter note, I know of a lady who prayed to God to send her a man who handles money and opens doors for her to enter vehicle, when baba finally sent her Mr bus conductor she no gree accept again!!!!! Hehehe - #hapinuyear
So apt. 😘😘
Delete@chikito, this is interesting and I'm just curious. How old are you? And how old did you hear it will happen for you?
DeleteHow did you learn to hear from God?
DeleteThere's no age limit to when one can get married. You can get married at any age so you being 37 is no indication that you should be married. People marry for the first time at 50 or even in their 60s. Think about what marriage would give you and what you want from a marriage and ask yourself if you cannot give yourself. Is it children? Then go through with your adoption plan. Is it wealth? Create your own. Is it companionship, love respect etc? No guarantee marriage would give you all those, it might even take away sometimes. Connect with people around and try to be happy. Marriage and what it gives women and even sometimes men is extremely overrated. Some of the ones inside are looking to get out while others out are looking to get in. I think you created your own idea and fantasy about marriage and wanted to play it through hence, the virginity but as you can see, life doesn't work the way we want it to. Give yourself all the things you think you would get from marriage and remain blessed. If your chronicle is about being unmarried at your age, then I don't see a problem.
ReplyDeleteMadam,I'm female and I'm 33. I live in Europe too. Get online and get a white man. It is very easy. You can have children with this man if you want. I guess you want a black man to love? If you need someone to talk to reply under my comment and I will give you my email and the website name.
ReplyDeletePlease poster, if you can, adopt the kids. I will advice you to do this one after the other, not at the same time.
ReplyDeleteYes, you can still get married in future. You may even get married to a man who hasn’t been married before, but what happens when things don’t work out this way?
Apart for the companionship one needs in a marriage, one reason it’s good to get married early is so you can use your youth to take care of the kids God blesses you with. What if the man you marry already has kids and doesn’t need anymore, or what if it becomes difficult for you to have kids due to age? What if?
I don’t see your idea as being too forward or as you playing God, I see it as you trying not to loose out on all ends, trying to nurture someone who will see you as mum and who you will call your child. There is nothing wrong with this. No matter how you look at it, it’s a sacrifice of love and It won’t go unrewarded.
Also, this doesn’t stop God from doing His work in your life.
Note that I'm not advocating for you to adopt a child oh. I only used that to explain how you cant rely on anyone's suggestion without confirming from God. Cheers.
ReplyDeleteYou're just 37 and you're already writing yourself off?
ReplyDeleteI am 41,still single but I don't see it as an issue because I know its all about time and I won't settle below my standard by God's grace.
I have 45+ and almost 50 ladies who are still single ,well to do and living life.
You need to live life ,get into relationships ,go out,mix,join dating sites if possibly ,more how you won't get someone who catches your fancy,you need to get social.
In all keep hope alive in God,He will do it at the set time.
I wish you well.
Please allow people speak their truth, if you see nothing wrong about your situation, she does.
DeleteSo what part of her comment says don't speak your truth? Some of you on this blog are just unbelievable or lack comprehension. I read encouragement from Buxomebony's comment, you on the other hand...whew!
DeleteTheres nothing wrong with you lady lol you are just overthinking. Thankful to God that you are alive and have your life put together. You will marry at the right time.Go on a dating site but don't be desperate to pick any man from the app take your time. Stay away from negative people and comment from this blog! I repeat nothing is wrong with you! Btw i am a virgin in my 30s too lol . enjoy life lady and Good luck with all. Peace.
DeleteBe open to dating other race please. Don't just wait on a specific type of man
ReplyDeletetheres no time to be selective at your age, date a man with potentials even if he's a taxi driver, dress well, go out more, have fun, go clubbing
ReplyDeleteI wish to poster can just reply. Is it that men are not asking you out or you don't want to date outside of a particular race?
DeleteWhen people complain "I was a good girl, who good girl help? I got tired and now I am living my life. What life can you live outside of Christ? I wonder.
ReplyDeleteNow poster, Are you just Good or you are good and godly? When you are godly and you stand by God, it may tarry but it will eventually happen. I see girls who call themselves good as ladies who are simply reserved and aren't extroverted. While a godly girl can be all these but has God has the master planner because she is in Christ Jesus. When you are good" it is not a criterion to get good things you desire but when your being good came as a result of your walk with God, trust me! he will come through for you at his time so don't give yourself a deadline. A lot of time I would make up my mind to damn all the consequences and put myself out there aggressively but I will dream where God will warn me and I will withdraw into my shelf. This happened countless times after a while I stopped trying to be "exposed" didn't he say, "be in the world but do not be a part of it".
Listen! If God wants to give you a man it doesn't take him a second. The God that created the situation that propelled esther to the palace. She wasn't swaying her hips in front of the palace to catch the king's attention yet he went inside Mordecai's house to bring her out. The one who brought Joseph out from the prison to be a prime minister and in one day he got his own mansion, a wife, servants and all, is the one you want to tell, "you are taking too long, I will help myself out".
If you are just a good girl, please don't bother listening to this but if you are God's princess the daughter of Zion, then be very careful.
What others were struggling to get, God placed on my lap without stress. It wasn't easy waiting but as a God girl I had contentment, patience, faith, I knew the God I serve will never fail me. He said if the wicked could give their children fish and not snakes how much more him who loves you with an everlasting love( matt 7:11)( JER 31:3). poster how can God forget you when he has engraved you on the palm of his hands, you are his(Isaiah 49:16). Do you know what that means? you can't just marry anybody for marriage sake, he has to give his consent and make sure the man is worthy of you. So be careful and don't do anything outside of his will.You can go out there and make a mess of yourself and call it enjoyment, and still get married but how sure are you, that he was involved? Simply because it happened doesn't mean he gave his consent.
The man he set aside for me is the best in all areas of life. I have shared my story here before. Virgin who got married at 30 ( the househelp and the wicked aunty, lol). Got married to a virgin man too. He has been praying to God for someone like me all his life. Friends told him his standards were out of place and considering the kind of woman he wants he would need to go to outer space to get her. What about me? I was called names" Virgin mary mother of Jesus. When all these people saw the man God specifically created to fit me and me for him. They almost died. When I hear people say, my husband worships the ground I walk on, I laugh because I don't understand them then. Till I met him. I thought I loved God, till I met someone who was pining for Christ-like he needs oxygen. A true son of the most high.
If Absalom, the finest man in Israel were to be alive he would never light a candle in terms of looks when it comes to my man. I have never bought first-class tickets before to anywhere but now it's the only ticket I know exist. The best Finishing school in the world has got nothing on him. Charm√, carriage√ charisma√. God worked on him to the tiniest detail before making us meet. I wondered why a man like that could be single but the truth is, you are not the only godly person who has standards and loves God, there are men like you even more godly than you are who are praying for the same thing. Wait for the one uniquely made for you.
😅cant believe I read it to the end. Nice👌
DeleteI remember your story 19:30 and this your comment is inspiring. It is all about the will of God if you are a serious Christian. And the attitude is more of, whether God gives me or not, He is still God and still faithful. We humans tend to forget that God is the one with the big picture.
DeleteI remember you oooo. How is your marriage?
DeleteHow is your husband nau? How are your sisters are they married now? and hope you have forgiven that your mother sister that made you a house girl this one you called her wicked? So your husband was a virgin too🤗🙃. Why don'thou have a blog Id.
Poster follow this advice ooo. 😇
😘😘
DeleteMy dear marriage is overrated. It is not all that is meant to be married. I can say that now because am divorced and a single mother at 33. My ex is a drug addict, womanizer and very Wayward. The thing I regret most in my life was my marriage to that man. Now am divorced I am so happy. My advice to you is if you don’t want to adopt, you can go to a sperm bank and do IVF, that way you can have your own child. Seriously don’t even envy those that are married you ain’t missing anything.
ReplyDeleteA good marriage isn't overrated .
DeleteAnon 20:39 how many marriages are good? Even the marriages Nigerians especially claim are good arw sub par and barw minimum. Most Nigerians won't know a good marriage if they see it. Marriage is VERY OVERRATED. There is not one thing marriage gives you that you can't get without it, not one.
DeleteGood marriages exist anon and you will experience it too. You'll see.
DeleteGood marriage is to be desired. Other than that, the rest is just someone to quarrel with everyday.. my marriage seems like the devil's victory. I can't figure out a way to make heaven in this marriage. Threatening my faith in everything, keeps me angry with God and man all the time... I can't seem to find my way.. I need counselling about my life .. I don't even care about marriage counselling right now..
DeleteMadam because your marriage packed up doesn't mean there's no good marriage out there.
DeleteYou shouldn't even be advising anybody here because you're looking for people in your WhatsApp group.
Let people be, face your life since you're happy to be a single mother. Everyone won't be like you.
Poster just embark on a non-stop fasting and prayer .Until God answer ur resquest don't stop.Take ur marriage by force.
ReplyDeleteNonstop fasting? Can't that kill somebody?
DeletePoster pls DO NOT take every advice here, especially those encouraging you to sin. However, you could be more friendly, more outgoing and more social. You could drink a little, nothing wrong with that. But flee fornication. Of all sins I ever committed in my life, the one that grieved the Holy Spirit the most was Fornication. Oh, he was so deeply grieved that he cried out. There is something very dark and deadly about sins of the flesh. It hurts the Lord, it breaks his heart.
ReplyDeleteAlso pray against FEAR. You are so afraid of being alone, afraid of being mocked, of so on and so forth. Perfect love casts out fear, fear is torment and from the devil. Learn to thrive wherever you are planted. I learned that from Toke Makinwa. When this babe was married, she wore it so well that marriage will hungry you. Now she is single, she wears it so well that if you look at her page, being single will hungry you. I am sure if Toke ever has a child, having a baby will hungry us as well. Cos she thrives wherever she is, and lives gratefully and happily in whatever situation she is.This kind of people, put them abroad they live. Put them in the village, they live. They live fully and completely. What a good spirit to have! No need being miserable for something you cannot control. Don't be dead while alive.
As others have said, you are not alone. There are many single girls in their 30s who desire a spouse as well, ME TOO. Unfortunately, the country is bad and over the past 10-15 yrs, people migrated so much that Nigerians are scattered everywhere. Making it more difficult for young people to meet and marry. Plus high selfishness, deceit, dishonesty, gayhood and immorality. But do not lose hope. Also, be open to other races. They are human and treat their wives very well, sometimes better. I will say this to young ladies leaving the country. Be Very open to dating white guys. If you find a good one, don't be afraid and don't hesitate.
Be hopeful. God gives his children good gifts. And all things work together for our good. The good thing about a relationship with God is grace. He may not answer our prayers if it is not in his will, but he gives us grace to bear whatever trials, whatever No's from him. Remember St Paul prayed thrice for his sickness/burden to be removed. God didn't take it away but gave him the grace to bear his affliction. Thorn in the flesh. Same with Jesus. He had to drink the cup, but he had enough grace to go through the fire. Never forget that God is with us. ALWAYS. And nothing separates us from his love.. singlehood doesn't.
Finally, be filled with joy, be filled, rejoice. Rejoice in the Lord. Stay full of praise. Stay full of hope. We were promised a peace that passeth all understanding, one the world cannot give. Don't let anything rob you of that joy. Let's keep praying and encouraging each other, I believe that this will be a good year for us all. AMEN.
Nice one Nib. You also ministered to me.
DeleteWow! Sister in Christ. I love your mind and your faith. From your advice, I can tell you are a woman of the word. God bless you for this. This is exactly my mindset. We need to keep our hope, faith and trust in God even though it hasn't happened in the time frame we expected but let us remember that God still fulfills His word; His promises especially to those who are holding Him up to it. It's not easy especially when you see women younger than you coupled up and building their own families. My best friend whom I went to school with, grew up with and are the same age celebrated her 6th wedding anniversary just a few days ago so it can be very challenging emotionally, psychologically and even physically (i'm sure you guys know what I mean here). Let us stay hopeful, faithful and expectant. The word of God says He does not disappoint those who put their trust in him and he fulfills the desires of those who fear him, he hears their cry and he saves them.
DeleteAny life without Christ is in CRISIS. It's high time (African) women understood that marriage is not meant for EVERYONE (Matthew 19:11-12). However, if one desires marriage, then ask God who gives good gifts to His children to make it happen. He does not need you to meet any criteria (being good, going to church, being wealthy, etc), because He will have mercy and compassion on whom He chooses (Romans 9:15-20). Let Him who has ears hear.
ReplyDelete@Poster, have you asked your Creator about this? What was/is His response? Also, you really need to loosen up, life is not that rocket science, you know, make it beautiful for yourself. I have a friend like you, she finally got married in her early 40s but guess what, she's now too concerned to have children. So, you see, life is full of worries and battles. However, the sweetest among all things about this life is, there is ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel. Victory comes after a battle. All the best.