Agreed that sometimes playing hard to get is a bonus but often times it may backfire as the one who desires us loses interest and moves on to someone else....
I remember playing hard to get for some guy,by the time i was tired of playing the hard to get,he was also tired..lol
By the time i made up my mind to give in,he had moved on emotionally,i could see it but i still tried my luck and he told me some other lady had accepted his proposal and he didn't want to hurt her and would like us to remain best friends....you say wetin?
I was upset and didn't agree to the best friend part.....
Some men see women who like them but pretend they don't see until she moves her attention,that is when their brain tells them to go after her but most times it is too late,unless it is someone who does not mind double dealing your destiny....
I play hard to get and e backfire....Is this your story?Even if it didn't backfire,we would still like you to gist us...
And those love experts who know it all,should please tell us at what point we should cease playing hard to get and give in.....
Grab popcorn and chilled bottle of yoghurt, we die here today ...
ReplyDeleteKindly pass the popcorn
DeleteSharing is caring 🍿
Some comments are sort of reminding me of what recently befell actress Jemima Osunde on Twitter
Twitter folks misunderstood something she tweeted and venomously attacked her
She tweeted that...
"This man was aggressively toasting me in February... he's engaged in December"
"So it's either he really thought that could have been me with the ring on my finger now (LEEMAO) or he was playing games."
"Either way, LEEEEEMAO!"
What she obviously was trying to say was that..
1. She doesn't like the guy
2. She suspected he was playing games, and if he was, her suspicions were confirmed by his engagement
Trust some Nigerians with their backward, myopic, narrow-minded, dark ages mindset to misunderstand her tweet
Things quickly slid away back to the ocean
People started mocking her, claiming that it is a case of shakara backfiring and that she is regretting it and is in pain
Some were saying she doesn't have any curves and yet is trying to play hard to get, and that with her attitude, menopause will catch her in her father's house
It was horrible
There is this sexist, misogynistic and chauvinistic mindset that ladies reject men's proposals simply and only because they think that the guys have not and/or will not make it in life
According to this mindset, a man will by all means make it in life one day, so any lady at all he proposes to must accept his proposal with alacrity and fear and trembling
This mindset completely ignores the common sense fact that a lady may reject a guy based on his character or her realization that they are not compatible
It is as if, if you are a lady, once it is a man that is proposing, accept his proposal because he is a man and he will make it... as if men are qualified simply by their gender and the fact (or not) that they will make it in future - just these two points, and nothing else
Oh mi gosh
To be a woman in Nigeria is not easy
To be a woman in Africa is not easy
Only Jesus can save us
God na your hand we dey
It can truly be painful when it backfires
ReplyDeleteI gleefully play hard to get to discourage whom I am not feeling. But if I have an interest in you, I play down.
ReplyDeleteWon't say mine is hard to get cause we were dating already, he messed up and kept apologizing but I was not yielding waiting for him to realise his mistake and not begging cause he wants me back
ReplyDeleteby the time I was tired, he told me he has moved on
It wasn't your fault babe, he messed up before you started your shakara, him telling you he has moved on was best o, because na only you go wear the shoe went it hurts so baaaad.
DeleteI have missed commenting here, omugwo no gree me see road, chai. But I usually log in at night and read all the comments.
ReplyDeleteOn the subject of discourse, my brother wanted to marry this particular lady but she kept going up and down. Come and see my mum, meet my uncle, we want to pray...the whole works. My brother told her he wants to marry this year and this sisi still dey do shakara. Las Las, Bros mi is going to marry his lady on January 4th, this other lady is there now wishing.
Sisi no be our fault oo, for 6 months u refused my bro's proposal, now he has moved on u want in, lie lie, we no marry again.
Ladies, I know we have to do shakara Sha ooo but do not over do it unless u re sure u don't like the person at all.
Congrats on the birth of your baby..
DeleteEnjoy the omugwo
Well done o jare. Congrats in advance to your bro.
Deletedon't you think your brother was so much in a hurry? Is he 70yrs old? Why the marry now now. The girl might think he's rushing her and needed time to think straight. She might not be in the same state of marrying immedaitely as he
DeleteCongrats to your baby.
DeleteCongrats to your brother.
The lady in question would eventually find someone she wouldn't think of turning down his proposal.
Some men don't have patience. Some tend to forget that marriage is a life time affair. Why the rush when it's not more than a year.
DeleteWhen you truly love someone and you're quite sure of what you want, you can give anything to have that person no matter the obstacles.
HMMM NA WA FOR WAHALA
DeleteNumber One: it wasn't about love - your brother never loved the lady, he just wanted to settle down, any lady at all who fit his spec and was also ready to settle down would have been good enough for him
Number Two: what if she was not playing hard to get but was just not ready for marriage at that time? And if that was the case, is it a crime or a sin not to be ready for marriage?
i have this thing that when i see you,i know it's never going to work. You don't need to talk,persuade or stress it. One glimpse is enough. I tend to be the one to see you and like you then you do the chasing
ReplyDeleteMore stories ... Waiting to read 😉
ReplyDeleteOne of my classmates then was eyeing one babe for at least two years. He confided in me and I asked him why aren't you letting the cat out of the bag? He said he didn't want to be distracted. So in our final year, he told me he was going to propose. I said okay but I warned him that the outcome may not be pleasant.
ReplyDeleteHe came back with his face like olumo rock. What happened. The babe asked him why he hasn't said it since. She was married in a few months. A lot of guys do not have balls, liver or whatever you choose to call it. If it is to have sex, they will move very fast. But once it is commitment to marriage, they duck like they are dodging a bullet. Ironically, marriage is what a lot of ladies look forward to in life. And do not toy with a lady's heart when it comes to marriage.
The more hard to get a girl plays, the further I run. I love it easy and I appreciate my girls for appreciating me like like that. Hard to get is not for me
ReplyDeleteNa only broke guys or small boys get time for play hard to get games...Busy and rich guys no get time to dey run around anybody wey dey feel like she be Queen of England...
ReplyDeleteIf your character is questionable I will play hard to get I really dont care if I am in my 40s or 50s. Character, hardwork, loyalty means the world to me rich or poor I dont care.
DeleteI didn't do the hard to get thing. If I like you and you asked that we should start something serious, it's yes for me.
ReplyDeleteIf I don't like you, it's a no. No need wasting each other's time.
Hahahahahaaa!!!! Only play hard to get with the gamblers rule... Always know when to stop. Imagine me a young widow playing hard to get to a very serious admirer that has been showing working. Since on Saturday I have been acting out... He has been begging o... Calling per sec.. Per sec... Up until this morning. I kept ignoring his call... But about 5mins ago i called o because i know that if i over do... The money and goodies he promised me... Will freeze. Now he will stop over later today... But i want to go and spend the rest of today the day with another. My kids are never in the picture.. And will never be... They are solely my responsibility. And please at what age can one fly out your child?? 18?? Or... Do i have to go with them??!! Abeg i have paid my dues as a married woman for 10yrs... My taste has change o
ReplyDeleteShameless
DeleteSee this one o..
DeleteOne guy in school then played had to get with me.. I didn't come out plainly to tell him I liked him but I gave him all the green light there was.. I even made my friends gossip how much I liked him to his hearing, but he was still forming fine boy.. He was very handsome and got a lot of attentions from the ladies so he felt he was the next thing after sliced bread.
ReplyDeleteHe eventually asked me out after a year, but I was no longer interested. I had moved on, beside I couldn't date a guy that almost all the girls in the department had dated.. Oga, abeg carry your fine face and be going.
Ladies, if a guy is playing hard to get, he isn't into you.
ReplyDeleteAgreed
DeleteVery simple.
DeleteMy ex played hard to get till I got tired and moved on. He was forming hard guy at 34, making it seem like he was doing me a favour. This was someone that begged me for two years before I agreed to date him. Suddenly he started coming up with excuses a month after we started dating. When he saw I had left him, he started becoming serious, but it was too late as I had already begun a happy relationship with the man who is my husband now. Ex still holds on to that memory and his regret.
ReplyDeleteAn aunt was advised us not to play too hard to get o. Gisted us on how she gambled with one guys heart while growing up. She liked the guy o, but because of the 'i don't want him to think I'm cheap' syndrome, he lost him. Dude moved on after wooing her 4 5months and got married to another woman. She said she almost ran mad. 😄😄
ReplyDeleteEach situation should determine the outcome. A girl that is 18 can form, if the parties are older forming makes zero sense. A 25 year old girl looking for commitment of any kind cannot over form. The man will move on. Some men when they are ready, they are ready. If you form too much, they will move on. The truth is most married people, good or bad marriages knew they wanted to marry the other person, the very first day they talked. When anything in life, we over do. It is never good. If you like the man, as a young woman instead of forming, why not speak about your expectations in that time. He is more likely to listen and continue in that standard. Instead of not communicating as part of shakara. Many lose out. A day is enough to know if you will marry or not. Over 30 years old woman, don't date more than 6 months before marriage. Not worth it, he is playing you.
ReplyDeletePlayed hard to get when my now husband was asking me out for years from our university days, I was young then n felt he wasn't in my level then. Fast forward when I finished service tho he finished 2yrs ahead of me. We reconnected 2017 on my bday to my surprise oga done level up o there nd then he asked me out again I agreed no time to check time. We got married this yr nd have a baby girl on the way, my sister's just know the time to play hard to get
ReplyDeleteSometimes, it's not playing hard to get. For someone like me who views dating as serious as marriage, it would take time for me to say a "yes" to a guy, especially one i didn't know before he's professing interest in me.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, i can't think of any guy i turned down that i'm regretting my decision. I just wish i'm married but not to them.
Never believed in playing hard to get. If i like you, i like you. Yet, i'm still single as i've liked only a few people and only one liked me back for a while before he misbehaved.
ReplyDeleteMy point is, when it's your time to marry, it's your time regardless of the rules you follow.
I really play hard to get even when i end up regretting it , i will still do it to several other guys. Thank God my hub didn't give up on me, would have still be single by now. Someone once told me that maybe a spiritual husband causes that lol.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is fond of moving out after little arguments even when he is expected to apologize even physical abuse. Its over a year now and i refused to go and beg this time.He knows i love him more but the shakara and disrespect don do! I don move on.
ReplyDeleteA guy have been asking my sister out since year one ,she dey do shakara.We all grew up in the same neighborhood,last year we travelled home and guy man still asked her out ,to cut the long story short ,they got married yesterday .Almost 6 years after
ReplyDeleteHmm God help me. There was a guy that show interest in me last yr. He wanted to get married bcus age wasn't on his side. He was 33 as at last yr. But I have my PGD program to concentrate on bfor marriage. Now the guy has left bcus I didn't obliged to marriage immediately. I was telling him we should date for a yr and it was too long for the guy. The guy has left but he is not married yet and am on d verge of completing my program. I am just hoping he come back to me. I met a guy last week Sunday he asked for my contact, I gave him instantly. But he has not called since then. Am thinking of calling him but I don't want to look desperate. Let him work on my contact joor so far is not certain my ex is coming back.
ReplyDeleteOne lady forming hard to get. Each time I get closer, na bills she dey salute me with. At that point, it dawned on me that she is not interested. I upped my game. After some bangings, I dropped her like a bad habit. 10 years later, she is still single and miserable. Wetin concern me. Na so life be. Mehn, I was crazy about her then. But seeing her these days and the evidence of old age creeping in is sad to watch. I wish her all the best
ReplyDeleteSometimes I do small shakara, depends on how I like the person.
ReplyDeleteI am on this table,though reasons being that I wasn't sure he wants me or my friend.He showed me his house. I discovered he never told her about commitment. Always told her he wants everything in friend zone but he told me he wanted to take me out and to his friends he was praising me saying he wants me as a wife but couldn't because I was taken . He spends a lot of time with my friend and always in a hurry with me.Asked me out twice .But something tells me he likes my friend who is classy and beautiful but uncultured.I like him a lot but don't know how to go about it not being cheap.Also people told him I was already taken because I made them believe so.I think I should write a Chronicle
ReplyDeleteClassy and uncultured in the same sentence?
DeleteI am on this table,though reasons being that I wasn't sure he wants me or my friend.He showed me his house. I discovered he never told her about commitment. Always told her he wants everything in friend zone but he told me he wanted to take me out and to his friends he was praising me saying he wants me as a wife but couldn't because I was taken . He spends a lot of time with my friend and always in a hurry with me.Asked me out twice .But something tells me he likes my friend who is classy and beautiful but uncultured.I like him a lot but don't know how to go about it not being cheap.Also people told him I was already taken because I made them believe so.I think I should write a Chronicle
ReplyDeleteLol..
ReplyDeleteI have a lot to say on this topic but maybe some other time.
But what I know is that EVERYONE IS CHEAP FOR WHO THEY LIKE.. personally, I don't believe in hard to get.. I'll just take it that the girl is immature and would have attitude problem.. so to avoid wasting my time on head and mind games I bounce.
However, the one that's reigning now is playing hard to get after they have been 'gotten'.. lol.. sometimes "someone I know" laughs when feminist talk about how they would also fuck many men like the way men fuck many girls.. is it the girls that always gets confused after having sex that won't to do that one.. lol.. just one good banging and they'll get confused, start acting irrational, even start giving the real boo attitude lol..
Abeg Goodnight jare