Sunday, December 22, 2019
68 comments:
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Nah I'm not. But I find it very hard to let things go sometimes, most expecially if it hurt me badly.
ReplyDeleteNot until you let go of all the toxic people in your life, you will never be able to grow into your fullest potential.
ReplyDeleteI agree
DeleteI have never been a toxic partner.
ReplyDeleteI try to be fair and considerate. I can be stubborn but in all, I am sweet.
I have been in toxic relationships...traumatizing and draining. Even when you put in so much work, it's never enough. There's always something to argue and fight about. Why good people meet bad people, I don't know.
It's better to walk away from such toxic relationships and have your peace of mind.
Sluttychic.
Feels like I typed this to be honest
DeleteI married one (was the first wife). Now he is wife number 5. Marry your other half not someone who wants to make you less than half of yourself.
ReplyDeleteAny person that always reduces you, cuts you down, runs you down, cannot be happy for your success
DeleteCompetes with you
Mocks you
Behaves like an enemy .....is perhaps your enemy
I see people complain about spouses, i read here too, and i want to say God thank you for the man you gave my sister. I'm staying with them, and for one day, that man has never stressed my sister, even when my sister doesn't really care, like put things about the husband in place. He will always say, Shea you people train yourselves strong and pampered my wife till she a baby even at 36years
ReplyDeleteHe married my sis when she was 20yrs, and when i stayed with them, i knew this man is a good man. May heaven bless you Mr V, even when you're so rich, your faithfulness is everywhere in town, every one knows you don't do women stuff, Thank you for loving me and our family like your own
And may God bless me with a good man like you, faithful, humble, caring and loves me like you love your wife and children. How can one person be so perfect Mr V, no fault at all. you're the greatest blessing to my sis. May God keep you alive and make you happy forever Amen
ode. u know whether na juju ur sister dey use control the man
DeleteGod bless Mr V
DeleteMay God also give women the wisdom to raise good sons like him
Mr V is a good man.
DeleteAnon 16.08...your core is rotten.
God bless you Mr V, your type is rare.
DeleteGood men still exist
DeleteAnon 16:08, you're such a vile and wicked person. Infact you are the exact definition of toxic. Tufiakwa!!!
Deletevery daft and myopic comment. so any man that loves and isgood to his wife na juju abi?
DeleteEnter your comment...was married to one,,not just a toxic spouse,,but a cheater ,,.
ReplyDeletefinally na HIV he go carry
Toxic spouse, I am married to one. How can a man keep malice like a child. Out of 5 siblings, he only talk to one. He is always right. All his siblings are bad including his mother. He forbid me to talk to most of them, though I still hide to communicate with them. He has been keeping malice with me since Wednesday because i was unable to answer his call. I work in health care and my job role involves caring for people with learning disabilities. On the said day, I started work at 7 am. He called me at 8:18am, I did not have my phone on me because I was supporting a resident with personal care and my trouser has no pockets. When I finished what I was doing, saw his missed call at 8:48am called him back many times, he refused to pick. I sent him message and explained why I didn’t answer, he ignored me. I was worried because one of kids was ill and wasn’t going to school.
ReplyDeleteWhen I got home in the evening, he ignored me. I spoke to my kids and later found out from them that he called because he couldn’t find my youngest water bottle to school. I later sent him message and told him that I don’t have energy for another fight and reminded him that three days before he was at work and didn’t answer my calls as well and that I wasn’t upset because I knew he must have a reason for not answering. I even sent him screen grabbed message of when he called me back. He is still ignoring me, won’t respond to my greetings, sleeps in the lounge, won’t eat my food.
I have decided that I won’t beg because I have not done anything wrong. This is a man that I support financially because we live abroad and I am of the opinion that I can’t leave all the financial responsibilities to him.
Christmas is in 3 days and he is using the opportunity not to buy anything for them. Thank God I am capable and have done all there Christmas shopping.
I am tired.
Doo. The Lord is your strength. He's very lucky, having a wife like u.
DeleteYou are not married to a man. I will advise you start saving seriously and have a plan b to z. This man sounds very toxic and I pray none of your kids emulates his character.
DeleteKai, Pele madam.
DeleteAnon 14:27 I can promise you that your man in cheating on you. Yes! I have dated somebody like this before. All the traits you listed describes him to the last word. I found out he was cheating on me join, and that explained for most of the useless malice he was able to keep with me. My dear do your investigations, you;ll find out he is talking to someone else. Check his social media. You will find it!!! And like you have been advised, start saving and planning your exit.
DeleteSuch petty childishness
DeletePlease none is a big baby
DeleteAdulthood is being, acting and taking wise decisions
Stay clear red flags of foolishness you cannot cope with
This why it’s wrong to bring your marriage/relationship issue to the public. See all the adviser. “Start saving and have a plan b”. “He’s cheating on you blah blah”. “stay ear red flags can’t cope with”. I bet none of these advisers are married. No wonder the high rate of divorce. No one condones things any more, as if the next man is guaranteed to be any better. Poster please face your marriage and stop writing long epistles, no one cares about you and your marriage.
DeleteAnon 15:46 quick to advice nonsense. Please find a way to work on your marriage. Everyone has faults. Even siblings quarrel based on their personality etc. don’t let come idiot see useless seeds of destruction into your head over your 10 line narrative.
DeleteBe extra nice to him this period so he cannot back out of his responsibilities this Christmas. Then you yourself can keep the malice. Lol I'm joking. But I know it is a tiring and stressful situation. Pray for him and take him out for a serious discussion. I pray 2020 will be great in your home.
DeleteI have dated a man with this traits. I doubt a week will pass he won't start an argument.
ReplyDeleteHe will put girls on his DP just to spite me. He will block me at the drop of a hat when we argue. Even if I don't pick his call on time?,I will want to return the call. Uncle would have blocked me. He was always angry at everyone, even his family.
What of if I go out he will say I have gone go to fuck another man.
The day he insulted me calling me bitch etc was the day i made my mind up to dump the fool. He was shocked.
A guy blocks you more than once and you still stayed??
DeleteHappened that a guy I dated and had a little ish with blocked me. I knew then I was dealing with a narcissist who had been in hiding. You need to see the other stunts he pulled over nothing. I dropped him so fast his head spun and blocked him. He is still shell shocked. I send? Peace of mind is bae. I'm done with toxicity.
DeleteI've never been with a toxic person and I don't think I'm toxic.
ReplyDeleteYou is lucky. Hope you never do.
DeleteI'm married to the last of the 4 sons, more of a pet son. If he's missing in broad daylight during xmas eh, you'll find him on his father's side, in his bed sleeping like a 3 month old baby. Aarrgghh! He's calm though and really close to his parents, just love the sexy and prayerful part of him but there's a big big problem. He can't COOK to save his life. RME! Don't beg him to wash lettuce or carrot and lay out on a sieve before you rush home, he'll use a gallon of vinegar and 3 cups of salt. Vegetables don die be that. Hahahahahaha.
ReplyDeleteMe o, some people wonder what time of the day I spark, kikiki. Some be like "do you ever get angry?" Yes I do but it's controlled till you try to suffocate my happiness and then I get to chase you with an empty bottle of coca cola.
DH be like "hmmm my wife is all smiles till okopu, ona esukwa uno oku" ( wait till she's fiercely angered, she will burn this house). Hahahahahaha.
I'm an Ayaka o, a homely Ayaka.
God is helping me, outside that I bring Fun. Maddddd fun.
I pepper people.
Eh yah u pepper urself. From this reply u are obviously not well. Doh. Pls take care of urself and take ur meds. It is well.
DeleteAnd you're so pretty. Lol.
DeleteHello Xp.
Busy body. Pepper your small local self. Baby sitter 🍼.
DeleteYou are a cool person it seems. I like your personality on the blog. Easy breezy, but when necessary you give it to them, lol. I don't see you as toxic.
DeleteI had an ex that could cook. I still hanker after him some times....... Who doesn't like to be pampered. 😉
My Oga is very toxic. I am only enduring cos DE is no domestic violence n two I am not financially independent.
ReplyDeleteStory of my lifeeeeeee.... But i have plans in place.....
DeleteSame here
DeleteMy is like that too, very petty man the only thing keeping me because no DV too but one thing again keeping me is the fact that if I get fed up and told we need to talk about it he always apologized.
DeleteAll of you on this. Try getting a job and contributions to the household and see if he wouldn’t be “less petty” or “less toxic”. I can bet that your husbands foot 90% of the bill while your claim to fame is “I gave home 2,3,4 children”. In this naija unsmiling economy you think being a sole breadwinner to another adult and kids you made together is fun. Not financially independent is where the story always ends. Get a job support the family with your man, meaning he is less stressed and worried and see how his attitude changes.
DeleteMy sister is married to one. He is so selfish and thinks of only himself. He doesn’t care how the kids eat or go to school. How she copes is not his biz. Thank God she works. All he thinks of is himself. Can’t stand him.
ReplyDeleteSame here...my problem she thinks it's ok. Always writing stupid stuff on FB about the shameless bastard. I truly hope she has seen the light
DeleteGod bless the man I am married to, he is not perfect but does his best to make sure I am always happy and at peace. Na me dey carry face keep malice join when we argue. I dont know it's like to live with a toxic person because my dad was a good husband to his wife and a good father to us and now I am married, my husband is also a good man.
ReplyDeletehow you go know, when na you wey be the toxic person. Please change your useless malice ways. Childish human beings aeerywhere!
DeleteAda Nlecha, relax biko its not that serious, I CAN NEVER be a toxic person in Jesus name. By malice I meant silent treatment wey no dey pass one day sef. Trust me, we are very happy and doing just fine in my home. Focus on your life and your relationship/marriage inugo because you always sound angry✌✌
DeleteYesterday I took my night bath, spray perfume n wore correct night gown waiting for my hubby to come home for a night of fun, hubby came home n we were talking, he told me I look like zombie now dat I hv added weight since I gave birth, my baby is 4months now, Omo He insulted my body dat I’m swollen, I cried n became depressed, I hardly eat sef, he later begged dat he was jokin n by den my sex crave don vanished, I told him to fuck off
ReplyDeleteE-hugs Sis...Motherhood is a beautiful Gift...Dont allow any human being make you regret the process.
DeleteYour hubby's opinion about you is not right at all at all. Don't let it eat you up. You will still lose the baby weight.
Your husband must be an unattractive man and your beauty intimidates him. That is how they normally behave when they want to bring you down to their level. He is insecure and low self esteem is a sickness.
DeleteThey try to kill your spirit by talking down on you. Next time don't give him the reaction he wants. Laugh out loud till tears starts dripping down your face and when he asks you what is funny, while trying to reply him, laugh again hysterically and point out his flaws. Tell him his belly looks like five bags of stuffed fufu, point out his head that looks like opioro mango, let him know that he looks like a caricature of Pinocchio and laugh while walking away. Reverse psychology. Don't let any man make you feel ugly because even at your ugliest you are still finer than most of them a million times over.
What kind of rubbish joke is that?
DeleteSome men can be so insensitive. Who TF says something like that to a new mom that already may be feeling insecure about the changes in her body from pregnancy and childbirth? My dear, dont let his harsh words kill your self esteem. You will lose the baby weight with time So just do you and enjoy your new baby. When you feel up to it you can start exercising and also try to reduce your carbs especially once its past 6pm. Drink alot of oats it will help keep you full and increase your milk supply. Limit or if possible, totally eliminate sugar, sodas and junk food. Take it one day at a time and the weight will fall off eventually. All the best..
DeleteNever ever let anybody's opinion define who you are especially when said in spitefulness and malice
DeleteValidate yourself
Don't let another (pardon me) rubbish imperfect human being steal your peace and joy
Careless talkers are petty, immature, insecure and mean
Please let us train our SONS
Talking, walking, living anyhow as cavemen with poor social grace, lacking empathy and common sense is a deservice on themselves and shows the problem is not you but them
Thanks a lot sisters for d encouragement,God bless you all for me
Delete@ Anonymous 17:33, a million 👍 for your comment. Personally, I don't let anybody, not even my spouse talk down on me or make me feel inferior about my body. I will so use reverse psychology on the fellow so that next time, he will respect himself
DeleteI tell you makas. From that comment of his alone you don't need a soothsayer to tell you that she is a drop dead gorgeous.
DeleteYou know she just get birth and he is probably used to her dressing clumsily due to the stress associated with taking care of a new born, so he is used to that and he felt really secure with her looking stressed out like that. But The moment he walked through that door and saw madam all made up, he couldn't stomach it. That same moment he realised he has a Fine woman like this in his house and fear gripped his insecure self and he had to cut her down to size. I feel she married below her league or standard for that's how they behave to keep you under control so your eyes won't open and you won't realise your worth or know how beautiful you are.
Which man won't complain when his wife isn't made up but immediately complains and insults her when she smells nice and looks good? If not a man that has a sinister agenda. He has a motive which is to make her feel small so he can feel big.
please dont let him get to you. it hurts i know but he might be nasty cos of his own insecurities. let him deal with his issues and not pour out his frustrations on you abeg...just do your best and take each day as it comes. not every woman snaps back immediately after childbirth..for me i had a difficult pregnancy in 2014 and lost a lot of weight. yes it was ok but people were still complaining cos i looked sick sef...lol..so pls you cant please the world. am so pained its your hubby who is supposed to be your cheerleader doing this to you but you can rise above it.
DeleteHmmm I am glad my husband is not toxic,he is calm,organized,a clean freak his cleaning skills is on another level, he loves everyone. But we can't have it all, he controls his temper when provoked sometimes I cause wahala and my mouth go sharp pass him own but overall his is good. I thank God for him everyday! I had a ex-boyfriend who was toxic chai! I thank God I left him very manipulative person beats at will. After beating will beg you then beat you again. He is always right! Sees women as breadwinners you will provide and still receive beating on top! He is in his third marriage now with 6 kids. He likes sex like his life depends on it! Chai I dodged a bullet. I thank God for everything, we learn by experience.
ReplyDeleteThank GOD for you
DeleteMy elder brother is so toxic chai he can keep malice with only his family o but with people outside he can mumu himself for them. He started keeping malice with me cos of small siblings quarrel o next my lil sister who he beat to a pulp cos her male friend came to visit her at home (She was 17 then) followed by my mum cos she tried to defend my sis when he wanted to beat her again tho I ended up with a black eye as I too was trying to protect her. He only talks to my dad cos that's the only person that is giving him money as he is 30yrs old didn't finish school, no job nothing but he receives money more than pple that works due to my dad financing him. It's been 2 yrs plus he stopped talking to my mum nd us is siblings even my wedding this yr he refused to attend all he does is going about been bitter. Some people are damn too toxic I only pity the woman he ends up with
ReplyDeleteHmmmm I pity the woman o but he needs to be saved from destroying himself, he is not a happy man at all, he is only seeing his failures you mentioned and do not know how to overcome them. Your daddy his the only one who can help me out, instead of giving him money he should look for how to set him up in business or something that can give him life.
DeleteThanks for videos and social media. Remember the lady that locked her househelp in a dog cage. Remember the lady that slammed the housemaid to the ground WWE style? Those are people's spouses. Men are scum and women are angels. Forget the crocodile tears, women are the most hateful, devilish himan beings in Nigeria. Social media will keep exposing those daughters of Jezebel. As for me, in most cases between husband and wife, I know already that there is high probability that the woman is lying.
ReplyDeleteWow Anon 18:22, you concluded that all Nigerian women are devilish Jezebels?
DeleteMay God touch your soul. Merry Christmas
I will just read comments.
ReplyDeleteNot one,ain't married to one either.
ReplyDeleteMy ex was so toxic to the extent of telling lies against me in my front,he keeps malice and make a duty to always frustrate my efforts..nothing I do that he won't complain, always nagging like some women.. He doesn't beat tho but verbal abuse is worst than beating!emotional blackmail is one of his tool too..if I don't pick his call on time, trouble,when I don't reply his message on time,war..
ReplyDeleteWhen he gives me money,he will give me directives of d usage! What's now d essence of dashing me d money when u will control me untop?
What will society say if we break up? But I was suffering
I just summon d courage one day and break things up with him for good,before then I changed my location, sim and place of worship to avoid contact from him
I thank God I took a walk,today I'm better off,maybe I for dey send chronicles too now!God forbids
hmmmmmmm....it is well
ReplyDeleteif my hubby is quarelling with someone ,he will instruct me not to greet the person again......I will be greeting the person codedly
ReplyDeleteyour husband must be very toxic but you just dont have the energy to type...pkele oh
Delete