That word has pushed many into things they regret for life...
When you were told 'look at your mate' how did you feel?what did you do?
Every time i was told these words,i always reacted and fired back...
When I graduated with a 3rd class,someone told me ''look at you mate Teetee(not real name)She went to school to read but you went to play.Now tell me how you will get a Job with this grade.you better go back to school''
When I graduated with a 3rd class,someone told me ''look at you mate Teetee(not real name)She went to school to read but you went to play.Now tell me how you will get a Job with this grade.you better go back to school''
I told him ''Sir look at your mates,they all have grand children that keep them busy,you are here poke nosing into my affairs''
When I just relocated to the Abroad to join my hubby,after four months,one of my Isoko sisters called me and asked if i was pregnant yet,i said No and she said ''All your mates wey marry don get belle born na only you remain''
I told her ''look at you,all your mates are married and you are still there counting peoples failure and successes'' she shut up and never repeated it again.
Not everyone can reply back,it breaks some...
Not everyone can reply back,it breaks some...
Oya let us gist!!!
True talk
ReplyDeleteStella I love ur repliesπππππππ
DeleteMe I no dey chop shit from person oo..if u dare mention 'look at ur mate" to me, na fire for fire!
My sister's nanny said something similar to my nieces and I warned her. I told her never to compare both of them. That they're twins doesn't mean they will do things same way and same time.
DeleteMy friends mum and her sisters were putting her under pressure to get married, telling her they don't marry late in their family. She told the mum that she's taking her time because she doesn't want to marry 2 husbands like her mum. She told her elder sister that she doesn't want to marry a man that she will feed like her. Them Don mind their business now
It depends on who is saying that to me. Could be out of love/concern from the other party. But for some people, they say that just to ridule and make you feel little.
ReplyDeleteI have learned not to look at my mates but look onto God for my own blessings.
We all are on a different journey which requires different routes.
Sluttychic.
It can never come from a place of love. It's always ridicule
DeleteShooter girl πππ
DeleteI disagree with you sis @shooter Gyal, it's not always ridicule. Thats why I said it depends on who is saying that to you. Sometimes we need to hear that to strive harder to be somebody in this life.
DeleteIf my parents say that to me, I'll take it that they want me to buckle up and do better. Every parent want their kids to be the best.
These days, we see kids who just don't want to do something meaningful with their lives. They feel dadi has plenty money, I don't have to work or stress myself. They need to be reminded how their mates are pushing it, trying to make their own name rather than settle for what dadi built. It's not a song you must sing everyday, but at some point, you have to say that to someone you care about to know they have to do better. And in doing that, you don't have to push the person to the extreme of endangering themselves.
Sluttychic.
I heard it all d time, from those elderly aunties who want handouts n maybe I can't afford to give them, n my sharp mouthed reply has made me a permanent enemy in their camp..π whosai? Let them face their pikins n leave me for my mama, she's not complaining.
ReplyDeleteThe greatest "look at your mates" I had was marriage; those times they were pushing so called "rich men" my way. I have shared the pains here.
ReplyDeleteThe second one had to do with job; after that rape attempt and I was jobless for a year; jobless but working
very hard on my talent (and seeking God) from which I am grateful to God today. I was being stampeded to relocate "abroad" where I am a citizen.
Again after marriage and for some years by mutual consent, my DH wasn't working and that was the best decision for us as a family. They were all pointing to "my mates husbands"... pitiably more than half of those marriages are no longer existing; bitter divorce suits and so on.
How did I survive/handle them?
Nekwa ajuju ooo
The Word of God has always been my watchword;
2 Corinthians 10:12 We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend
themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.
My advice: Never do things because others are doing it. I am very grateful to God that I did not move
"abroad" where I could have had waiting jobs but followed "God's foolishness" which is wiser than man's wisdom...
Ndi uta kedu? ππππππ
No-one has ever told me, I told myself, which was why I left facebook eight months ago. I feel sad when I look at their pictures, not like I'm not happy for them but because I'm not there yet. I mean, we grew up together, schooled together, had great plans etc.
ReplyDeleteSame reason I deactivated my Facebook account over 2yeas ago. Everyone posts their achievements & happy moments.. I begin to wonder why I'm odd. Not like I haven't been excelling, I have., but you see that statement esp when it's coming from a loved one can drive one into soaking the pillows, wailing like a widow, looking pale, overthinking & taking drastic decisions.
DeleteAll this for “look at your mates”?
DeleteThank God I’m blind..ππ
I ran into one my juniors in secondary school some years back. She was driving a very big and flashy car, while I was on Legerdizbenzπππ inside very hot sun.. She still called me Senior oo,na me come dey shame for myself by myselfπ. She gave me a lift and it had me worked up for a couple of days, but hey! Life goes on...
DeleteI also know a few that are no more
My dear that means you will also disappear from SDK blog if you think that way, most of these people are not what you see on sm. The most successful person amongst my best buddies whose business worth millions of naira,she is just close to 30 hardly post on fb, she just has two unattractive pics which few of us that are still trying to carve a niche are always posting wow pics on fb. Be happy and proud like me dear, I don't have it all but majority of the time, I'm always happy and hopeful for a better tomorrow.
DeleteDo you also know that some of your mates are dead??
DeleteYour being alive means there's hope. Cheer up jare
@queenamy trust me! Hardworking people who are building businesses and careers, dont do social media. If they must, they pay someone else to do it for them. You cant be busy and extremely active on social media at the same time EXCEPT your business is solely based on social media following.
DeleteAnyone always gallivanting aimlessly on social media is not using their brain to work. Thats why when we have brain tasking activities like exams or deadlines at work, we shelve SM. The brain cant focus while distracted by people's this or that.
Also, watch people whose sources of income are from SM (like SDK), they post only business. They dont post their personal life, family, income, house, car, etc. They just use it as a business tool. Even ppl like Toke who are always doing photoshoot; photographers, fashion brands, hair stylists and MUAs pay her to shoot. Don't think she tags them for nothing. This is what most of them do. 4 brands pay them, they use all the brands to do a shoot and make it attractive so the brands keep coming. Then one broke child will now be spending their money buying clothes and taking pictures to compete with her.
Chikito you are right, I have been so active on social media since i became jobless, it's even affecting my marriage. I don't blame myself though, health challenges and now pregnancy put me in this condition, after child birth I'm moving forward with full force, this is not me biko.
DeleteIt happens. Just offload that angel and get back to being focused. Me that I'm writing epistles and fighting like this, I know how many exams I've written this year. Did you see me answering trolls when I was trying to focus? π€£π€£
DeleteEven as a pregnant woman you can keep busy. Exercise, read motherhood related health books, look at food recipes for babies, etc. Alot of woman use pregnancy periods to develop their post-pregnancy dreams that have become big businesses today. They say the spirit of a new baby in them, makes their dreams come alive. Na 'Them say oh'..... π€·π½♀️
Dont I just love chikito, her comments are always on point!!! One of the few people I look for to their comments.
DeleteNa these one's dey worry you... I cant be move by any body's success ooo. When you are sucessful, o will rejoice with you but i can never be hurt just because am not big like you. I love to be myself. Life is a journey, if you get there before me, congratulations....
DeleteThanks Chikito ❤️, ure' right! No time at all
DeleteThanks a lot dear.
DeleteAh Queen Amy, I though you got a juicy mouthwatering job last year, what happened?
DeleteWishing you only the best.
Hmmm, Mrs korkus , this very statement was why I resented my biological father for years.
ReplyDeleteWhen he attends weddings of girls who are younger than me who got themselves foreign husband's , he gives I am my sisters hot hot.
My father told me to leave ashawo and go and find husband.
This made my elder sister go from church to church. She finally married but them chop her Sha... Sadly her husband passed on but happy he left a house and business for her. As for me, I live on my own with my child now.
My own insults got worse when I go carry Belle , so I gats find go peace of mind.
We are managing, and I don't have to face my father.
My father didn't know when or how I hot into school or how and when I finished. Yet he will he comparing me with others that their fathers contributed a whole lot.
It's disheartening π
Hmmmm @ last paragraph. Its true. Many parents do a lot to support their children, yet the unsupportive ones just sit there and complain
DeleteI used to keep quiet then, but not any more!
ReplyDeleteI remember as a teenager when we went to bury my grandma. . One of those village women said to me "look at your sisters, they're all fair and fine. Only you come dark. Why you resemble your grandma sef?" Like I could choose who to look like... I felt bad for days about those words..
I try as much as possible not to compare or use hurtful words on others no matter what.. People can be so insentive it's sickening. .
You sef na granny you see resembleπππ
DeleteThis is the problem i am facing at home now. I am 26yrs and currently serving but my parents wants me to bring a man home, i don't even have a boyfriend. They won't stop saying all your mates are married blah blah.. it's affecting my self esteem
ReplyDeleteIf where you're serving currently is a good place and you can find a good job there, please remain there. Weigh your options well
DeleteMy dear o. Are you sure you aren't my twin? My mom's slogan now is 'when is he coming? I'm tired.
DeleteMy dad normally said that to me whenever we had a disagreement, he will tell me that my mates are in my husbands house taking care of their homes while I'm here trading words and dragging his wife with him. He always do that out of jealousy cos he thinks that my mum loves me more than him and is willing to put me first before anyone in life including all the family members, according to her, she TTC for a long time before I came and wiped away her tears. I know things about her non of my family members do and she can't take any step or invest in anything without consulting me first. I don't blame my dad though, the poor man is inlove and feeling jealous.
ReplyDeleteHehehe. Except they're saying it behind my back. Because if anyone dares say it to my face, they shall be washed and hung dry.
ReplyDeleteLol Chikito is back.
DeleteMy cousin said look at you. You have All the money in this world but its also useless because you do not have children. As soon as I got pregnant i told her she was not happy about it because she knew now i wd stop heling her she went and got herself pregnant with a married man Who refused her pregnancy and she wanted to dump the responsibility on me so i told her how can you have children without money haha
ReplyDeleteImagine that
DeleteHahahahaha... Correct response. How can you even mock your blood with such a thing, like you are supposed to create babies for yourself.
DeleteSluttychic.
Hahahaha.....good one!
DeleteHmmmm , you really need to be careful of that your sister o.
DeleteNegative competition is as bad as witchcraft
Many wicked "parents" are sitting on this table.
ReplyDeleteAnyone who allows this statement push them into anything unwholesome, isn't serious. Even the you of today is not the mate of you of yesterday or tomorrow. E come be a completely different individual you will allow anybody use to pressure you to compare yourself to. If your two eyebrows are not mates on the same face, your two palms have different marks - how can another whole separate individual be your mate? You will just steal, do juju, or become depressed.
I used to be told this cos I "didn't enter uni on time with my mates" by people who wanted to push me into nonsense I'd have still been paying for, till today. Talmabout "are you the only bornagain in Nigeria? Do it (pay money or sleep with someone) and get your admission. It's not a big deal. After all, you know you're brilliant enough to really do the course, people do worse things and God will understand. Look at your mates". Lol. Even the forgiveness of God doesn't necessarily make consequences disappear. I remember it and shudder cos I see certain things now and realise how such a supposedly small thing would have ruined my life. Cos na from small thing e dey start. And I would have ended up in the wrong uni cos I dey "look at my mate".
I've never even seen a truly happy or successful person tell another to "look at your mate". Don't allow any miserable failure that the devil sent to ruin you, project their rubbish onto you - before you do what you may not be able to recover from.
The thing is that I have been able to accept that I have no mate. I might be same age with some people but we don't have same fate. Our experience and may be environment might also differ so I don't have any mate.
ReplyDeleteMy growth and motivation comes from who I was, who I am and who I'm becoming.
For me, anyone telling me that particular phrase is wasting his/her time because I see nobody as my mate. If my parents tell me that, then I have no option but to also remind them that Dangote and Otedola are their mates too. Capiche?
hmm!!!!dat word pushed me up ooh. i was told 2 look at my mates gaining admission into university while at 18yrs talking about marriage π .
ReplyDeletethanks 2 God ,i have achieved both degree and marriage with 6 kids and still counting π π π π π
Sometimes, that word pushes us to be better π
DeleteSluttychic.
I dey use my mouth guard myself o.
ReplyDeleteCome free r me and I'll eat you raw
I have very supportive parent,friends and family. No one has ever told me that nonsense except my busy body poke nosing colleagues at work and I always give them hot hot each time they try me. Now every one of them is minding their business now.
ReplyDeleteThe day one of them asked me,what I'm waiting for..why you never marry. I told her I'm waiting patiently on they Lord bcos I don't want to marry a drunkard and a jobless womanizer like her husband. Chai....since then aunty dey carry face for Me. Who needs her familiarity self?
ππππ u hung and dry her ooooo
DeleteHehehehe.
ReplyDeleteMuch like me. The response you will receive will make you weep for weeks. I dont spare them, old or young. They dare not
My mom told me "look at your mates buying houses" and I ask her between her and Oprah Winfrey who senior pass. She hasn't talked to me in 3 months.
ReplyDeleteππππ rude child
DeleteWicked child lmao. E pain am. Call her sha
DeleteApologize to your mum.
DeleteSluttychic.
πππ
DeleteJesusπππππππππππ
DeleteHehehehe.
ReplyDeleteMuch like me. The response you will receive will make you weep for weeks. I dont spare them, old or young. They dare not
if anybody tells you "look at your mates they have done so so and so". Reply them "look at your mates, they are in the mortuary, what are u waiting for", that will shut them up, because nothing is as painful as that statement.
ReplyDelete"Look at your mate" or "why can't you do it like so so so does it? " annoys me. Mom told. me that a long time ago and I told her to pls not to compare me. We do things differently. We achieve things differently.
ReplyDeleteSome families have tried this nonsense with me and I always tell them they can only tell me that when they started paying any of my bills. I refuse to allow anyone to frustrate me besides we all have or individual differences.
ReplyDeleteIf you tell me "look at your mates" i will tell your look at your mates too. All of us get mates... osaluobua mwen lahor!!!
ReplyDeleteNobody has ever said that to me & wont
ReplyDeleteI don't have a mate,I'm unique in my own way,I'm d express image of Christ..
So, I heard a similar statement around the first month of this year, when I had no job and I was at the lowest ebb. I decided to take it up in prayers, I cried to God about it and today, I can boldly say, that my mates are now paying me good money for consultation by God's grace. My story changed for good! That statement pushed me back to God.
ReplyDeleteSo happy for you.
DeleteYou see, thank God for you.
DeleteSluttychic.
That's me 100%. Even if I will feel bad later,I always make sure the person feels worse by my response. Since we all want to be silly no wahala
ReplyDeleteIn the year 2015,this word made me fall into depression.
ReplyDeleteInfact I was the one always saying that to myself till I borrowed myself sense and said enough is enough.
People have said that to me and my family are line is look at your mates,some of them are in the grave and the person will always mechionu.
Ogbasadim πΆπΆπΆ
My sister,I felt so bad.
ReplyDeleteIn fact she was comparing me.
Thank you Jesus
My parents never told me that even when I was jobless and living with them.Till they died they never questioned any of us or compared us to our mates. I'm the only one unmarried and in my 40s and none bothers me. Ignore those that say that and live ur life the way u see and want it.
ReplyDeleteI try so much to let nothing bothers me, i stay clear from anyone that won't mind his/her business. No one has ever said this to me before, but the day anyone tries it, the person will get it so hot from me
ReplyDeleteI try so much to be happy, even when those depressing thoughts comes to me, i drag it off by force, now i have control over my thoughts. When there's life, there's hope
Are you me? @ your last paragraph
DeleteNobody has ever told me that but I always tell myself that.i got married before all my friends but things aren't how I wanted them to be..we are struggling financially thou we live in our own house and God bless us with kids but we lack that luxury of life.whenever I'm trekking and see my mates driving their fine cars I don't want them to see me cos when I was single and still in sch I was gbo gbo big gal can't believe I'll be trekking without owning a car.and this made me to avoid having a FB account so I won't be seeing those my old friends with all the luxury.i don't want to have hbp o.
ReplyDeleteLol throw away that low self esteem issues ok
DeleteEhn... you enjoyed in school and got married on time. Now is their own turn to enjoy. Doesnt mean you wont enjoy good things again. Learn your lessons and Relax!
Deletesome of my mates are dead, some are roaming the streets, some are homeless, I thank God for me, it can only get better
ReplyDeleteThat is how one of my anties called me in front of everybody to ask me why am still single at this age that is not in our lineage to marry late and all of them bursts into laughing so I answered her immediately with a loud voice because I don't want to end up like all of you that I want to marry meet my husband and not that is my husband I told them that the stories I heard about their marriages scares me till date non of them talks to me anyhow
ReplyDeletebiko what are you writing?
DeleteMy reply will be, many of my mates were aborted in the first trimester, many came as Still birth.
ReplyDeleteAnd l am here still breathing, and keeping the faith, give it to me abeg !
Nobody has ever said that statement to me, I don’t know if they say it behind me but to my face.... never.
ReplyDeleteBefore now, I used to say that to myself to checkmate my life with others but I don’t do that anymore, I have learnt to understand that we all have different destinies and God has different plans for us. Since then I stopped comparing myself to others.....
Hnmm why are you speaking to me, i say that to my self everyday and it's driving me crazy, truth be told life has never been fair to me, my utmost desire in life is to be educated so whenever i see any of my mates graduating from high institution i instantly became depressed, lord help me biko before i die out of heartbreak.
ReplyDeleteWho is ready to shut them up.. let's see if we can make magic. Lets shut them up.
ReplyDeleteRelocated to the abroad......what does this mean in English please?
ReplyDelete