NARRATIVE NUMBER 1
PREGNANCY ISSUES WITH HUBBY
Dear Stella,
Compliments of the season. I will love to share this with fellow BVs for encouragement. I am a mother of 2 and recently I made the greatest mistake of my life. I fell pregnant. My last child is about 6yrs. Hubby and I do withdrawal method and once in a while if we get carried away, I use postinor the following morning.However, hubby didn't tell me he made any mistake on his part. I was 6weeks gone when I found out I was pregnant. Hubby wanted an abortion and I kicked against it. I can't spend the rest of my life in regrets.
Then the wahala started. He moved out of the room, shouts at me at the slightest opportunity. He will not answer if I speak to him.He says I did it on purpose. Calls me a witch. Last week I threw up so badly I was dehydrated. He said I will die since I just want him to spend his money. Stella, I had to drive myself to the nearest hospital to get drips and injection.
His mother stays with us. She has been very helpful and sometimes comes to stay with me all night as I throw up. He says he will not have anything to do with the child.
He has always been emotionally distant and mean but this is on another level. He doesn't have any one he respects or listens to. He says as the head of the house, anything he decides heaven will back him up.
Please, my people, if you know what prayers to pray, please tell me. I cry all night and day. I am not afraid of taking financial responsibility of the child. I am just emotionally down.
My husband is a Christian,he reads the Bible day and night. We were even observing a fast when all this started.
Did I take the wrong decision to have kept the baby? Will God support me and not allow my husband's evil thoughts to come to pass. How I wish he will marry a second wife. I will personally throw a party .
Please pray for me. Thank you.
*Even if it means moving out,please move out but please do not abort that child....if your wife falling pregnant is a crime then he is the culprit...Imagine this kind of story!
What kind of husband is this?How does he still turn you on with the kind of behaviour you described?....Remember that in Marriages like this,your kids are the only gifts you come out with...DO NOT KILL ANY CHILD to satisfy anyone...........Keep your baby and walk away from that sham marriage if it comes to making a choice!!!
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NARRATIVE NUMBER 2
NACKING TO MOVE ON
Since my ex left, I’ve been finding difficult to trust or love another. I met this big boy but from a different tribe, I like him and our first time of hot romance was last night. I was horny but I refused to knack. He tried and begged and I said no. He said he will never ask for sex again from me, that he won’t come to my house again and I won’t visit him either. That we will be meeting in eateries and we should forget about the relationship. Now I’m feeling bad and I want to knack now.
All I want now is serious knacking to forget my ex. It’s two years now and I find it difficult to move on. I’m not getting any younger. I will be 33 on new year. I need some slap to reset my brain.
Do whatever makes you happy and as long as you dont allow anyone pressure you into anything,you will be fine!
Poster 1. Try and be strong for yourself. You see that child you're carrying, your hubby will love him/her more than anybody later. I have witnessed it first hand.
ReplyDeletePostert2. May Jesus fix it for you. You can as well go close to a near by wall and scratch it theee
OMG faaaaaaaan. You no well at all
DeletePoster 1: One mistake single ladies should never make this ; DO NOT MARRY ANYONE WHO DOES NOT LISTEN OR IS SUBMITTED TO ANYONE. That’s the recipe for disaster .
DeleteThis man obviously is the Lord of himself .
How can you ask your wife to abort your own child ?
That’s devilish.
.
My cousins husband once asked her to abort after she ha given birth initially to a boy and a girl . She refused. She gave birth to twins ( a boy and a girl )
.
Poster please do not abort .
Pray this Prayer for your husband ; Lord open his eyes and arrest him . Pray it for as long as you can .
God and only God can help you in that marriage arrangement
Poster 2 ; Flee fornication . Ask God to teach you how to keep your flesh under . Also ask him to bring your husband . Okay ?
*
Poster i see no reason y u should keep a baby if ur hubby says u should abort it. It's called family planning and it is legal in naija for married couples to have an abortion, all dey need is Hubby's signature. N y didn't u go for family planning since u peeps were done having kids? It looks like u really did did on purpose. Well since u have made d mistake already just ignore him n take care of itself n pregnancy. Do not relate any discomfort to him, don't ask for money for anything concerning d pregnancy n baby. Make it look like u r enjoying ur privacy as he has moved out. Trust me he will come around. If he doesn't to hell with him. Just thank God DAT u r financially capable
DeletePoster,do not abort the baby.
DeleteI got pregnant 11 months after my first born and my husband was not happy.
I use to thank God every day that I did not abort the pregnancy,I gave birth to twins who are my husband's favourite.
They love their dad so much ,once they hear the gate open they will start shouting daddy daddy,the joy on my husband's face self usually melt my heart.
This was a pregnancy he never wanted then.
I believe he will come around.
Poster 2, take hand fan's advice. Your chronicle is annoying, you don't even have real word problems. Mtcheeew.
DeletePlease abortion is still a crime in Nigeria and it is illegal for married couples to get one unless the woman's life is at risk. Poster 1: please do not get an abortion there are so many women looking for what you have.
DeleteAbortionist who pr**ck and sperm is it?? SHE made the mistake?? Are you well? Did he not ejaculate inside her? Can he not get a vasectomy?? Na wa!
DeleteAll of you abusing the husband. I no blame una, maybe your fathers where not responsible for you guys. If you know what it takes for a responsible father to take care of his family then you would know she was wrong to get pregnant and not follow their family plan. The man is only trying to be a responsible dad
DeleteShe was wrong to get pregnant? Like she did it all by heesher?
DeletePoster 1. You may need to travel for a while to clear your head. Your husband isn’t thinking straight right now. So just let him be don’t quarrel or get into an altercation with him now for your own health
ReplyDeletePoster 2. Channel your energy on other stuff. Get into a sport or go learn salsa or Zumba. You are better offf learning a skill that knacking. The desire will still come back no matter how many times you knack
I wanted to advice you at poster 1 till I saw you wrote that" he has always been emotionally distant and mean". So that is who he really is the whole pregnancy issue only maximized his personality traits. So I am not surprised anymore at why someone will treat his pregnant wife that way even though he initially was upset but with time a good man would succumb. The bigger issue her is that your man is not really a good person and I feel the whole weight of caring for the child will be on your head even after delivery.
ReplyDeleteHope you are prepared?
Poster 1, sorry about what has happened to you. It will all end in praise. And he will come to accept the child. It happened to a friend if mine. Hers came with beating along side. And everywhere she went to remove the baby she was told not to. The birth of that baby was to be a blessing. A few months after the birth of the baby they had an opening to travel abroad.
ReplyDeletePray that this baby will come with a blessing. Pray that the Lord will work on your hubby. The heart of the king is in His hand, like the rivers of water he turns it the way that it should go. Concentrate on being strong and well. And don't forget that the devil is looking for every chance to attack the family unit. Pray against work of darkness against your home. Ephesians 6:10-18.
Rest in the Lord. And please stop crying. It takes 2 to make a baby.
When did Nigerians become such a lost cause?!!
DeleteYour friend's husband was physically abusing her, even with pregnancy...and you're here calling travelling abroad with that same man - a blessing??!!! 🙄😐🤨😬.
The way some of you carry "abroad" on your heads, you would think foreign Western countries were paved with gold and diamond streets!
@Fu! Lmao..... u re really uoset with this comment.
DeleteChildish men are anathema in marriage
DeleteWomen stop managing rubbish
A leader who answers to no one is an error
Poster 1,what bible is your husband reading?? Which God is he praying to?? Who does he defer to spiritually?? Your husband is not balanced upstairs and I wonder why his mother can't speak to him. He's always been emotionally distant yet you chook head?? I don't know what to say oh.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, you're silly and have nobody to tell you.
The man is sick in the head. The wife come add pepper and tonatoes he is a christian. Christian gbakwa oku. d
DeleteEwooo Yori yori!, you get mouth ooo,as in xtain gbakwa oku. I pray God will touch the heart of the husband and restore their marriage. She will birth safely and the baby will bring good tidings in Jesus name.
DeletePoster 2- seek the face of God, He will guide you safely. Walk away from that man pls.
@Amaka Hundeyin thanks for pointing out the obvious to Poster 1. Let her be deceiving herself.
DeleteHer mean, distant husband didn't want another baby but made love to her severally without protection and she took postinor sometimes to prevent pregnancy but forgot this once and fell pregnant. Both husband and wife are not balanced upstairs.
How could she continue opening legs for that crazy man?!
@Yori Yori you got that right. 👍
Poster 1. Try and relax, find ways of entertaining yourself and just ignore him, he'll come around in time.
ReplyDeleteEveryone should take note that withdrawal method is not a reliable birth control method. If you don't want to have more children, please go for other methods like IUCD, insertion, etc.
My third child came because we were withdrawing, but you know sometimes the thing will be sweeting you, and some sharp seed will take off before the withdrawal. The worst part is that you'll not even know, so there'll be no plan and arrangement for a new baby whatsoever.
That my new baby eh, she's so wonderful that I look forward to just hearing her gibberish when I get home. Especially the way she shouts DAAADYYY!!!
This man ain't coming around. Didn't u guys read the part where this man has always been "heartless"?
DeleteI cannot think of anything as grave as being tied to a childish man. A man child. You say he reads the bible night and day but that does that not make him a christian! Even if he speaks in a thousand languages and has no love , it amounts to nothing!
ReplyDeleteMaybe a short seperation( or a total one) will do u both good.
poster one thank God your mother in love is in support and helpful, please ignore your husband and have your baby. you both did the act, you didn't get yourself pregnant so he should stay blaming you. Do not end your marriage because your husband is giving you attitude, if you cannot stay in the same house with him i will say you should stay with your parents till you put to birth. Do not allow him make you feel bad, who knows if this child comes the baby will make everything perfect for you all. You just have two kids, seven years is not a small baby.
ReplyDeleteposter how can you say you want to use knacking to forget your ex why doing that? if you want to knack do it cos you feel like that is what will make you happy not doing it cos is the best way to forget an ex. knacking cannot make you to forget your ex, knack and after mins you will be on zero level again, i mean back to your problem. Stop trying to use another guy to make up for another person, that guy is only interested in you because he want to knack you once you knack each other now the whole thing will fall off your face.
I will say you should stick to yourself while you focus on better things coming year. That guy is not for real, relax cos not only you have been out of relationship for that long. Your age too should not make you to knack anyhow even when you know is audio love the guy has for you.
Eya madam sorry o, please do not regret getting pregnant. Did you get yourself pregnant? Please stay happy he will be alright las las. See irony of life o, I don't want a 3Ed child at least not now but hubs on my case to get pregnant and even forming upset. Shior
ReplyDeleteThe word Christian has been bastardized by all and sundry. Stop saying your horseband is a Christian. He is an idiot. And you too stop crying and blaming yourself. What you need to do is get up from the place of regret to joy. Love yourself and children. Do what makes you happy and also see him as a nobenintity in your life who adds no value.
ReplyDeleteBehave as if he doesn't exist and push him away from your heart. Make your heart akaraka. Stony heart, he will be the one to beg when you stop giving him attention.
Poster 2 don't knack. Still keep yourself. That man na chop and go. He behaved like a little child.
Do what makes you happy
Don't abort that pregnancy, what if you die trying to satisfy him. Just try as much as possible to be strong and avoid him, i pray he gets along with time.
ReplyDelete2nd poster please don't knack him, act like he does not exist and move on, i also pray you find love this coming year
your husband is the wizard who wants to kill an innocent child. It's his type that will name the child Iheanacho later. May God strenghten and see you through and never feel guilty about it. You did the right thing
ReplyDeleteNarrative no 1, i plead with you with God and whatever you believe in please keep the pregnancy and let your horseband be in as much as you can take care of the pregnancy. God will come through for you and shame the devil, you will not die with the pregnancy as your horseband wish, you will carry ur pregnancy to full term and Gid will make her a blessed child for you. I understand it can be very tough when you dont have a shoulder to lean on but also remember that their are people in this condition without husband for different reasons but they did not die. May God help you.
ReplyDeleteSuch is life, see what am crying for day and night....
Dollargoddess, wipe your tears , it is your season to rejoice. You will testify very soon in Jesus name
DeleteNacking poster of all the things bothering you it's nack Smh@ 'I want to nack now' you want to nack into the new year so that 2020 will become nack nack for you abi..you better set your mind on something else and leave nacking for carpenter
ReplyDeletePoster 1, keep your baby, he will come around. We have seen his type plenty. That child might become the most spitting image of him among your children.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, knack him and dump him. Nonsense And ingredients! Which kain ultimatum be that! Just quench the konji and on to the next one.
poster one please be careful of what you eat and drink in that house, that man can drug you...my husband was like this, I have two kids and we aren't ready for another now...my period came late after we had sex, he withdrew but he said he wasn't sure ...when my period didn't come he suggested abortion there was nothing he didn't say to me, I thank God my period came later . since then I've been extra extra extra careful..no pity
ReplyDeleteKeep the baby if that's what you want.please leave God out of it as he didn't tell you to knack without sense. After your baby is born please tie your tubes since it's obvious you both don't want anymore kids.
ReplyDeleteYour husband will come around soon, this am sure of. It's just the initial gragra. Don't move out or pray 2million prayer,just live your regular life, your husband's action is a type of reaction most men who don't want more kids act like tho his going over board with his.
As for your MIL, God bless her heart for sticking with you even as her son dey misbehave.
Poster one I am in the same situation though my own is not my husband. I am pregnant for someone who promised to marry me once I am pregnant and being that I am not legal in the country I stay, I decided to kill two birds with one stone which is having a baby to legalise my stay here and also a husband. We dated for 4 months and I got pregnant and this guy changed from being a nice man to a monster and he wants me to abort the baby because he is having mixed feelings about that he wants his girlfriend in Nigeria to be pregnant not me , imagine oo. So ladies if your man’s initial is AEO and he is in Nigeria now,just know that he got someone pregnant where he lives and I am cursing him daily. How he be so wicked? You don’t want me or a baby but kept promising to marry me if I get pregnant because all the ladies you have dated before couldn’t get pregnant. You were going to test with me,we were monitoring my ovulation together and taking fertility pills with me but knowing that you don’t want me,I am still wondering your reasons for that. AEO ,I will never be well with you and I am having this baby no matter how difficult it is for me. So poster one,don’t mind your husband,carry your baby and may we have safe delivery,amen. Stella biko I think I sent my this comment with my email before,biko don’t post the first one but this one,thanks.
ReplyDeletePregnant and cursing? You don't know the depth of cursing and it's consequence on the "curser" if not, you won't do so.
DeleteFill your mind with positive thoughts, praise and blessings for him. Prepare for your baby, keep the sunshine up and you are good.
1.. You took the best decision to keep that child. He will come around. God is on your side. Proverbs 6: 16-17
ReplyDeleteI am a man.am going through the same thing.each time my wife said she dreamt of twins,I always quarrel with her,though she is 6 months preg.all messages we got from different pastors said twins.we did scan yesterday and it was a baby.i felt relax cos I hate twins.dont know why.
ReplyDeleteHuman being, Oga you sabi f*ck yet you hate twins I pity your Madame!girls shine your eyes o before una marry puppet called husband!
DeleteStop visiting fake pastors.
DeleteDifferent pastors! You are sitting on the longest thing bro. Please go back and start sowing seeds and sacrifices to them to change it to one baby. Don't stop o till you close you bank account and give them.
DeletePoster 1
ReplyDeletestay strong! the Lord will be with you every step of the way.
I was in the same situation and I can boldly tell you you will be a better mother, a better human and that child will be a source of joy and pride.
Poster 1: pls stay strong for ur baby,he will come around..u need cool off a bit,a relative,a friends place should do!I know u r hurting but stop crying,u have to be strong for ur baby! It will end in praise
ReplyDeleteU said ur husband is a Christian n reads d bible? But he still treat u this bad shows he just reading for d sake of it n not to be guided by d Holyspirit..keep hanging on,God will come thru for u n d baby!
Trust God
Poster 2: only Jesus can fill d void,knack from now till forever it won't go away! Go to God in prayers n ask him to heal u,so u can move on
I honestly do not know why you let these men use your heads. A man whom doesn't want a child anymore should opt for vasectomy. It's common sense.
ReplyDeleteWhich one is withdrawal and all that. I don't even understand why women have to be the ones to bear the brunt of an unexpected pregnancy. Can'typu all take to your husbands.what if you get pregnant again after this, for you will? Because your husband is careless and selfish. He released but didn't bother to tell you. To think it was even his mistake. What if in the process of abortion something happens? God forbid. Please be wise.
You are right. A white man kept giving his wife abortion pills and she always suffered a miscarriage. She got tired and planted a camera in the house and kept her cup on the table close to the camera. Only to see her beloved husband looking left and right like a thief before he slipped the tablet into her cup. Sadly enough, the last one he did before she planted the camera spoilt her womb and the doctors told her she has taken the drugs for too long and in large doses and she won't be able to concieve again. The husband was charged with murder.
ReplyDeleteWatch what you eat around him.
You said he was a mean person and naturally emotionally distant.I won't ask why you still went ahead and married him after knowing that fact because people do pretend. Yet after marriage and you realised this, you should have been the one making sure you don't keep birthing for someone like that. Irrespective of whether he told you he released or not, that shouldn't have been your business, you should have just kept on protecting yourself and sorting yourself out from your end.
Poster 1 don't abort the baby, pray for God's peace in your family, He is God and cannot be mocked. As for your husband he will grow to love that child if care is not taken that child will be his favorite child.
ReplyDeleteThis happen to a family I know the woman wanted another child after 3 children but the husband said no. so when she became pregnant eventually the husband left her byself no affection no help nothing but now that baby is his favorite child.
My cousin was in your condition about 10 years ago,she found out she was pregnant for their second child and her husband became a monster.She suffered so much while pregnant but their marriage never recovered from his wickedness.They are still together and she has refused to give birth to another child,he has begged and begged but she said can never forget what he did.My dear,God will see you through ,go for family planning.He doesn’t have to know since he’s not a considerate or sane person.
ReplyDeleteNack the nack and he will end up moving on away from you.
ReplyDelete@poster1,mine did worse ooo, he left for the nine months sef, not a dine from him till I gave birth.I never knew God loves me so much, he brought so many good people my way in church though I tried to isolate myself from everyone but they just didn't let me feel alone, mind you I didn't tell anyone my love left while I was pregnant. There words were I can see you going through pain though you are trying hard to hide it but be sure of one thing. "God loves you and will make lines fall into pleasant places for you and your family, keep trusting him." God showed up during delivery and even my bill was cleared by a church member and I was also given a a large sum for omugwo cos I didn't want my family to know what I was going through considering that it was a temporary thing... Today my husband is so fond of that child whose smile will melt a stone heart. As for him, I forgave him when he came back to his senses but I also learnt to do little things to make money and save for the rainy days and I know God will bless me to be a blessing to others....
ReplyDelete2.
ReplyDeleteThat brat will f**k you and dump you. This is a movie we see every time
Poster 1,
ReplyDeleteLet me tell you a short story. Apparently my dad rejected my oldest sister (my mom's second child for him). I don't know why (he probably thought my sister wasn't his). He wouldn't even carry her as a baby. They both had 3 more girls after her, me inclusive. Do you know the beacon of hope in the family right now? Your guess is as good as mine. She is the one that God used to bless all of us. Even my brother doesn't measure up to her.She looks a lot like my dad and he would have died 2 years ago if not for her. He became a US citizen this year through her.
All I am trying to say is damn your very ungrateful husband and carry your child with joy. I pray God will keep you to live long and watch all you children grow to be favored by God.
Emmmmm you used the phrase "your guess is as good as mine" wrongly. What it means is I don't know /I have no idea. Eg if someone shld ask you... what is Buhari's ultimate plan for Nigeria sef? You can say ..your guess is as good as mine. But in your case...it's not a guess your sister dey over try..
DeletePoster 1, I am in the same position, except we're not married. We dated for 2 years and separated in March. In September he came back and said he wanted to not just get back together but make it permanent and be a family. He was doing all the right things and I believed him. We had sex once and even with pulling out and me taking postinor, I got pregnant.
ReplyDeleteNow we separated in March and I had an abortion in February and doctors told me that pregnancy again would be luck. But this man told me to get an abortion. I refused and he became distant so I started considering one. A different doctor entirely told me not to try it and to pray this pregnancy through if I wanted to ever be a mother, so I decided to keep the baby. Since then he's only spoken to me for a total of 45 seconds. That was a month ago. I thank God, my pregnancy so far has been God-sent. No morning sickness, no extra saliva, no mood swings and I know it's God because I'm so sad every time I think about my situation and I have so much anxiety and I don't sleep much. But every time I think of my baby, I can't wait to meet him and I know Hod will put everything I need in place as I need it.
Poster keep your baby, God surely has you too as God has me. I pray you have a stress free 2nd and 3rd trimester.
Poster 1...you said your husband is a Christian...reads his bible day and night and is even fasting right now..,yet he is keeping malice and even called you a witch becos you have refused to abort his child. Who is exhibiting characteristics of a witch here. Even if he doesn't listen to any human being how about God? He is the head of the house so what ever he says is right....where did he get that from? which bible? Cos the Bible I have tells husbands to love their wives even as Christ loved the church and gave up his life for the church. Please your husband reads the Bible but he is not a behaving like a child of God. He is meant to protect you and love. Keep your baby your baby n keep praying for your husband but please don't allow him disturb your peace too much... wish you luck poster
ReplyDeleteSo married men dey deny pregnancy? I think say Na only single pipu dis kind thing dey happen to. Naija women, it’s high time you begin to look out for yourself & stop waiting for a man to decide for you on what to do with your bodies. When yo guys were doing withdrawal, shouldn’t it have occurred to you to go to the hospital to get a suitable family planning method? I get where the man is coming from. He probably has already planned out how he would take care of the ones on ground, & you want to make things difficult for him by adding extra mouth esp in this time that things are really hard. It feels like you want to add more load to him. Just keep the pregnancy & pray he turns around. I advise you go get snipped after delivery cos we both know Naija men no go ever agree to vasectomy. The ball is in your court.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, hugs and love to you. Please keep the baby and trust God. Your key to happiness lies in your hands, dust yourself up. Do you and lean on God, it will be well. Whether he comes around or not celebrate the wonderful gift God has given you and be happy. God will surely come through for you in Jesus name.
ReplyDelete