STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
IS FORGIVENESS POSSIBLE?
Dear Stella,
I am heartbroken and filled with regrets and guilt. I am writing in to seek advice and pour out my heart as I'm slowly slipping into depression. Please BVs easy with the bashing as I'm currently down.
So I (27yrs old) have this boyfriend(29 yrs old) I've been dating for 3+ years now. Things were going fine initially but most part of last year we had a lot of issues. We quarreled a lot and those misunderstandings affected me a lot emotionally.
Meanwhile I had this married colleague who I join his car to work and for lack of who to talk to, I had to open up to him (a great mistake). I was weak and needed a shoulder to cry on. I was always either sad or moody. On one of such occasions, I was crying while narrating my ordeal and in the process of comforting me we made out in his car. Afterwards, I felt guilty for cheating and having anything to do with a married man (this has been against my principle) but I didn't stop joining his car.
The issues I was having in my relationship continued although I stopped telling him but he sure noticed. He capitalized on that and was showing me attention which l lacked by calling, advising, showing concern for my career and giving me investment tips etc At this point I became a bit relaxed with him and was enjoying his company. We made out like 3 more times all in his car. These were not planned and I felt bad after each time and deep down I still loved my boyfriend and wanted for things to work out.
This went on for like 3 months and I had to force myself to stop because I felt guilty and knew what I was doing was wrong. I eventually moved out from his area and stopped joining his car. This helped a lot although sometimes he will call and request for a hangout which I obliged rarely (nothing happened these times). However I maintained friendship with him as a colleague (another mistake).
Now things picked up in my relationship and we became fine. Eventually my boyfriend noticed my friendship with him because he called on two occasions I was with him and he warned me to stay away the first time he called but I thought I had everything under control. The second time he caught me on call with him, we had a huge fight over it and he forced me to swear with the Bible that I have not slept with the man so I had to confess. Before asking me to swear I had already made up my mind to cut him off totally because he's not worth losing my relationship over and it would have been easy since we don't even see as he works in the head office and I in a branch office.
I have been begging my boyfriend for forgiveness and I have made a lot of promises to be better. I sincerely regret my actions and desperately wish I could turn the hands of time so I can correct my mistakes but he said he has forgiven me but he can't move on with the relationship because of the act.
Stella and BVs, I know I am wrong and what I did cannot be justified but I genuinely stopped. I was caught unawares in my moments of weakness. I love my boyfriend genuinely(I didn't realize how much earlier). My boyfriend is a good man that loved me and I can't afford to lose him. I have learnt from this and can never make this mistake again. I am overcome with guilt, regret, remorse and a great sense of loss. I know I have to bear the consequences of my action but I don't want this to cost me my relationship.
I am using this platform because I need to pour out my heart. I don't want to make the mistake of telling someone else out there who may take advantage of my weakness. I can't think of anyone else I can talk to (family or friend) who will not blame me and make me feel even worse. I am already crucifying myself.
Please has anyone here been in my shoes? Is forgiveness possible? How did you cope with the guilt and regret afterwards? If I have to move on how can I do that knowing I am the cause of the break up? I will like to hear from men here too.
Dear Stella,
I am heartbroken and filled with regrets and guilt. I am writing in to seek advice and pour out my heart as I'm slowly slipping into depression. Please BVs easy with the bashing as I'm currently down.
So I (27yrs old) have this boyfriend(29 yrs old) I've been dating for 3+ years now. Things were going fine initially but most part of last year we had a lot of issues. We quarreled a lot and those misunderstandings affected me a lot emotionally.
Meanwhile I had this married colleague who I join his car to work and for lack of who to talk to, I had to open up to him (a great mistake). I was weak and needed a shoulder to cry on. I was always either sad or moody. On one of such occasions, I was crying while narrating my ordeal and in the process of comforting me we made out in his car. Afterwards, I felt guilty for cheating and having anything to do with a married man (this has been against my principle) but I didn't stop joining his car.
The issues I was having in my relationship continued although I stopped telling him but he sure noticed. He capitalized on that and was showing me attention which l lacked by calling, advising, showing concern for my career and giving me investment tips etc At this point I became a bit relaxed with him and was enjoying his company. We made out like 3 more times all in his car. These were not planned and I felt bad after each time and deep down I still loved my boyfriend and wanted for things to work out.
This went on for like 3 months and I had to force myself to stop because I felt guilty and knew what I was doing was wrong. I eventually moved out from his area and stopped joining his car. This helped a lot although sometimes he will call and request for a hangout which I obliged rarely (nothing happened these times). However I maintained friendship with him as a colleague (another mistake).
Now things picked up in my relationship and we became fine. Eventually my boyfriend noticed my friendship with him because he called on two occasions I was with him and he warned me to stay away the first time he called but I thought I had everything under control. The second time he caught me on call with him, we had a huge fight over it and he forced me to swear with the Bible that I have not slept with the man so I had to confess. Before asking me to swear I had already made up my mind to cut him off totally because he's not worth losing my relationship over and it would have been easy since we don't even see as he works in the head office and I in a branch office.
I have been begging my boyfriend for forgiveness and I have made a lot of promises to be better. I sincerely regret my actions and desperately wish I could turn the hands of time so I can correct my mistakes but he said he has forgiven me but he can't move on with the relationship because of the act.
Stella and BVs, I know I am wrong and what I did cannot be justified but I genuinely stopped. I was caught unawares in my moments of weakness. I love my boyfriend genuinely(I didn't realize how much earlier). My boyfriend is a good man that loved me and I can't afford to lose him. I have learnt from this and can never make this mistake again. I am overcome with guilt, regret, remorse and a great sense of loss. I know I have to bear the consequences of my action but I don't want this to cost me my relationship.
I am using this platform because I need to pour out my heart. I don't want to make the mistake of telling someone else out there who may take advantage of my weakness. I can't think of anyone else I can talk to (family or friend) who will not blame me and make me feel even worse. I am already crucifying myself.
Please has anyone here been in my shoes? Is forgiveness possible? How did you cope with the guilt and regret afterwards? If I have to move on how can I do that knowing I am the cause of the break up? I will like to hear from men here too.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm,just close your eyes and decide to move on...
Hmmmmmm......it seems his mind is made up. Just let him go.
ReplyDeleteAunty move on already, you would have just denied flat
DeleteMadam why did you confessed to your boyfriend that you slept with a married man? Did your bf also confessed his escapades to you?
DeleteLife lesson 1: never ever tell your bf,fiancée or husband that you've slept with another man. Their male ego will never let them forgive you. They can't handle it at all. They can't picture their property being desecrated by another man. Its a mental torture for them.
So poster,move on and forget about that relationship.
Am telling you! Nothing will make me to confess such things God forbid. He might forgive u but he will never forget, just move on bcos things will not be dsame.
DeleteYou shared this your story on Nairaland,you didn't get enough advice abi?move on dear.
DeleteWhere does women get the idea that confession of any form of infidelity helps a relationship? It's not impossible but...
DeleteBabe move on. You are just 27 and plenty fishes in the ocean. Find a better support system you can share stuff with that you will be safe.
Haaa; who sent you message with that yeye confession?
DeleteJust move on...
Give him a Bible or an Iron, tell him to swear if he has never cheated on you before. If he can do it, then pack up and move on. If not, then he too isn't a saint
DeletePoster you are a fool,you people read chronicles here all the time and still will never learn**confess fire!!! Why didn't you just shut your mouth close if you didn't wanna lie,you could have just said he's the coleague that gives you ride to work,now you have allowed the guy to outsmart you,you see all those time you said you were having issues,those were signs the guy was already tired of the relationship,now you've given him an excuse to use as weapon to get rid of you,you didn't sleep with the man in question,you are not even dating him,if he truely loves you i don't see anything that is unforgivable here.Radarada oshiii if he's the guy that got another girl pregnant now,he will expect his girlfriend to forgive,forget,stay in the relationship and continue loving his stupid ass.
DeleteI knowwwww!!!!! Who bloody confesses to "a man" about this type of sexcapades. Their brains are not wired to understand. Too complicated for them . ....You confess to your coffin or las las SDK anonymous gat your back. I don't see this relationship been restored. Just carry on with your life my dear....good luck in your next relationship.
DeleteNa for oyinbo movies oh. The guy will vex and later come back. Hahahaha. Real life is real. Dear Poster, move on. Cut your losses. You had fun while it lasted. You have learnt your lesson. But be sure of the lesson you learnt. Is it to be faithful or to keep your mouth shut because trust me, it's going to repeat itself again. Watch out.
DeleteSweetheart move on and work on your emotions for the future. Learn to manage situations better. I also had a relationship with a very wealthy married man that is so popular and was ready to give me whatever my heart desire back in the days. My boyfriend found out and it almost broke us up. He however wanted the relationship more than I did. He made intentional effort for me to leave the affair and focus on him. Today we are married with 2 kids. As a matter of fact today is my anniversary. I imagine if he did not love me. That would have been the end and sweetheart I would have let it go and work on myself. Men handle heart breaks differently. You say your man is 29. He is quiet young and probably inexperienced. Mine then was already 31 turning 32 so I guess it was his maturity that played through. Although I must confess I did the first 2 years of marriage working on trust. Today we are 6 years together.
DeleteMove on dear. I for one think you bf is tired jare.
Delete18.29 hopefully if a single girl starts dating your hubby at some point in time you won't halla.
DeleteBlack Diamond 16:02 You are spot on with your comment. My wife cheated, said the guy just gave her oral sex. I can still picture it in my head. It's been couple of months already but whenever I think about it, I can still see the mental picture. Not pretty at all.
DeleteEven if he forgives you, your confession will continue to haunt him, he will keep imagining how the man touched you n kissed you,how you moaned n squirmed, how u came multiple times.. sorry o, the married man will still remain with his family, yours that has barely begun is shaking...be strong, ndi keeping friends with married acquaintances. .
ReplyDeleteBlacky oke poron..😂😂😂.
DeleteYou are funny ooo
That secret should have followed you to the grave, you don’t confess such. How do you think he will feel? Just move on babe
DeleteYour boyfriend was quick to ask you to swear with a bible.
DeleteDid he swear on not doing anything with anyone else all the time you were having issues???
Someone that should have said the Bible is too Holy and even God is against it. You have to believe me honey, nothing went down. We are just friends. Quote Bible.... Let your yes be yes and nay be nay. Do not swear! Madam, you dey learn work?
DeleteI confessed to cheating on my fiancée and he accepted me back tho.
DeleteMove on biko. Let another person that deserves him enjoy him too
ReplyDelete*deserve
DeleteShiioooorrrrr....let him go away if he can't forgive you na...shoot!you won kill body put? Poster you better move on with your life,better things are ahead if you.if he forgives you,he will never forget and he will be using it against you constantly. So just try n move on
ReplyDeleteYou are just dating yourself, just move on abeg.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you my dear....your boyfriend is crazy if he cant let go haba na u first start am.....am married nd i was deeply nd crazyly in love with a married man when we got married,he knew buh e jst forgive me like small jeans nw were good even if d feeling is still der small....dont beat yourself up girl
DeleteAmen 17:20 you be ashewo, your husband is a whimper man.
DeleteA weakling of a man..
Most men do not forgive cheating in any form. The jealousy is not for bargain at all. You've lost him. You should learn from this and move straight on. Even if he comes back, he will always remember it. And depending on his personality, he can as well use it as an excuse to cheat and expect you to bear it. If you are ready for a marriage where he will scoop as many female friends as possible and expect you to be silent, ride on. If not back off.
ReplyDeleteWe men push and push and want you to confess, but trust me, we can't handle it. I rather I push but didn't get confession, I rather be lied to than hear, oh you are right, I did so so and so.
DeleteForgiveness is NOT POSSIBLE in this kind of situation. You should even end the relationship yourself cos it's over the moment you confessed to your boyfriend. What where you expecting?
ReplyDeleteSee how you people defiled an innocent car. I only pity that car
Fan like you were in my head. I was just thinking, the things the colleague's car has seen mehn!
DeletePerplexed car. 😒😒😒
DeleteLMAO
DeleteAnony the car really suffered😂
LMAO
Deletecar of life,,OGUN AMUDO TO BAD
They made out in the car *Made Out* means kisses,smooching and all,not have sex.
DeleteThank you anon 18:04, they only made out no sex involved which she should have kept to herself. Anyways, deed been done. Face the music Darling. 😘😘
Deletenot in naija oh. Kissing and smooching means nothing happened. In fact, you are still a virgin. Made out means they had sex . But you use a funkyfied word that doesn't sound too bad.
DeleteMaking out is not sex, madam Lade Taylors. Google is your friend.
Deleteyou made the same mistake three times???
ReplyDeleteForbidden things can be very very sweet na, but the consequences are dire.
Deletethere is always a way that seemeth right now...
Deletethis one no be mistake again,,just tell us u are,enjoying the car banging system
Abi o? Mistake ko, the poster is just promiscuous. Better for the boyfriend to look for a decent woman with self-control.
DeleteI’ve done the same thing. 3 times too. This story is just like mine. I’m 27 he’s 32. I have been going through a lot of emotional stress. We broke up in October. The most painful experience I’ve had. We kept in touch throughout this period, but to get over him, I got involved with an ex-colleague of mine. We only made out. But I kept on seeing him. Our make out sessions were really something all 3 times.
DeleteBoyfriend and I are trying to settle. At least I’m hoping we get back together because I love him with my entirety. I have realized that I don’t want to lose him. He blames me for most of the faults in our relationship and I understand him perfectly cause I didn’t realize give it my all.
I have promised to change but he’s still being distant. I don’t want to force it. I’m also giving him space. But I’m doing most of the chasing now. I’ve told myself to stop it today. And I will reduce it. If it was meant to be, he will forgive and also put in some effort.
I was going to tell him I cheated. But with this post, I know I can never do that. I just hope he doesn’t find out eventually if we do come back together
Anon 19:01, your bf sounds like a manipulative person. Is he sending mixed signals? That's manipulation. He's laying blame on you when it takes two to tango. And even worse you're doing the chasing. Don't just reduce it. Stop it. Cut him off. It's not love that's motivating you. It's guilt. And the desire to not lose.
DeleteBut why do ladies like married men but won't want any girl near their husbands.
ReplyDeletethe one wey go,date her own too still dey evan's adelaja
DeleteOshey Mc pinky @ Evans Adelaja. .
DeleteI used to hunt there in my days. 😂
Home of fine girls.
Why confess to your boyfriend? Do you know who he was busy making out with while he was quarelling with you? You are not smart enough to know that a woman must have been tuning his brain all those times he was having issues with you? He came back and told you to swear with Bible, like who does that? How controlling. Please move on and next time don't relay tour issues to a man they always looking for ways to capitalise on it and sleep with you. The favour concern they show is to have sex with you they are way logical to resonate with your emotional side and give you reasonable advice.
ReplyDeleteThere was a guy asking me out once, I can't remember what happened the next thing he said is "swear with the Bible or anything you cherish hat you are telling me the truth" 😲 that was the last time I spoke with him. Let your yes be yes and your no be no and who ever refuses to believe you can go their merry way.
Gbam! He was probably involved with a side chick while making languish emotionally. Good thing you found a way to cope with it instead of falling apart. Forgive urself and move on.
DeleteGbam!!!
DeleteHow could you have confessed? You could have simply claimed you were colleagues; did he see any compromising chat?
ReplyDeleteIt's over for you. Just move on.
No one has ever confessed of cheating to her husband and things remained the same.
Women will always be on the receiving end, so move on babe.
Fear of bible made her confess. That part off me.
DeleteIt's not d fear of Bible anything. It's love DAT made her confess. Meaning DAT she had been wanting to confess she only saw the right chance n she took it.
DeleteMove on Poster, the foundation of the relationship is already shaky. By the way you write so well, why do you write a memoir or keep a journal it will help you heal faster and move on, trust me it works.
ReplyDeletePoster well from your write up it's either your guy was never interested in you or you were dating a narcissist. Victims like u find it hard to let go so pls seek professional help it will only cost you about 25k for you to cry all u want to someone who won't take advantage of you and also help you heal
DeleteForgiveness is possible 💯 except he doesn’t love you that much.
ReplyDeleteIt’s not like you had sex with your married friend.
Sometimes, we do things we regret cos we were pushed to do it by their actions/attitude. Having constant fights and arguments in a relationship is draining, mostly if you are very much in love with that person. You were vulnerable and your married friend took advantage of you. That don’t mean you are a bad prison. From your writeup, you are a good woman with great conscience. You even opened up to him, which is commendable, most chicks won’t.
Try and talk to your bf some more, beg him for sometime but if he refuses to forgive you, then you have to move on. Love forgives always, though in some cases, it’s pretty difficult. But your case is not bad so I don’t know why he’s doing this.
You will be fine. And make no mistake of confusing in anyone, they will use it against you sometime.
It’s not like she had sex with the married friend?? Did u read the chronicle before typing this epistle?
Delete@anon16:32,,u should also read and comprehend each word
DeleteBabe abeg no vex, I can't and won't forgive if I find out too. In short, it's the end..
DeletePoster take slutty chics advise. It’s spot on.
DeletePoster you ended your relationship with your own hand, men find is so hard, I mean very hard to forgive their babes that cheat on them. If it was your bf that cheated on you, by now you should have forgiven him but men cannot forgive you and forget. If you didn't make out with that married man your bf would have forgiven you but for making out please forget about that relationship and move on.
ReplyDeleteYou too don't love and respect your man, how can your bf tell you to stay away from a married colleague that you know something is between you too but you refused? You waited till he spoiled your relationship before you could see, why didn't you cut him off immediately your relationship picked up🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 now the man is enjoying his marriage while yours has ended.
If you have pleaded with your bf but he still insist, please give him some space and time to decide if he truly loves you he may come around. Sister next time never you agree to sleeping with another man, do not swore with Bible is deadly. Once it get to that always tell the person you are a Christian and is against your faith, rather to do that prove it by cutting the person off. Start afresh come 2020 God will give you a better person.
Before I forget your bf thinks you are cheap, you lack self control, if you guys come back together and tomorrow you have issues you wil still cheat. Ladies not all secret are good to reveal to your man. Some secret will follow me to the grave simple.
so you have secrets too...but bashing the poster so much huh...
DeleteWhat you did was totally wrong but Mr man was ready to dump you anyway so let him go and go and sin no more. Oh, and stay far far away from MARRIED MEN!!
ReplyDeleteThe married dude na Sharp guy... sorry sister
ReplyDeleteThey are both culpable.
DeletePromiscuity is not sharpness
DeleteHe was Prolly lookin for a way tp dump u all along den u gave him a golden opportunity ..move on girl, d relationship is alredi on a faulty foundation :lack of trust frm nw on. ..u go dey alright las las. .
ReplyDeleteIt's All in your mind. As difficult as it may seem it is possible for you to move on. Forgive yourself. And turn to God for that inner strength. You will be fine.
ReplyDeleteAnd ruin'd love when it is built anew, grows fairer than at first, more strong, far greater.
ReplyDeleteYou have already made a mistake and acknowledged it, please move on dear, i believe everything will be alright at the end.
ReplyDeleteBvs how can I read more than 200 comments, i can remember how to do that.
Men hardly forgive, it remains in their memories. The only thing is you should not have sworn and you should not have said the truth either.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest mistake you made was to confess it to your boyfriend cause it never ends well even when they decide to take you back.
ReplyDeleteForget him and move on my dear,cause if you force it and he eventually takes you back,its never going to be the same again. He will never ever trust you and as you know,relationship based on lack of trust holds no water.
Move on.
With all due respect Stella: i think you've posted this Chronicle before. I stand to be corrected thou.
ReplyDeletePoster you "is' silly! Cut both men off
ReplyDeleteBabe, forgive yourself and pick up the courage to move on. I wld blame you in the first place for opening up to your boyfriend. Hope he is a saint and never cheated on you in any form. Life happens, but it is not the end of the world. you have learnt your lessons painfully but it is well. Hugs ...
ReplyDeleteMaybe ,just maybe your boyfriend already broke up with you even before now.Why would he ask you to swear with the Bible..Pls learn from your mistake and move on.
ReplyDeleteI agree. You were already on your own. It was only a matter of time.
DeleteWow...Babe, just move on. The fact is the guy is married and it's a deal breaker for alot of people esp guys so it's best you just let him go. If he is yours, he will definitely come back to you. After all, I know a guy that actually married a babe who had a sugar daddy and went to gbensh one last time so she could collect money for wedding. She confessed and they broke up and she donated the money to charity after begging all her teeth out. They have 2kids now. I pray it works out for you
ReplyDeleteHanty your relationship can't be whole again even if he decides to continue the relationship. Trust lost is always hard to regain. Just be strong and move on babes. And please learn from this. A shoulder to cry on sometimes might end up being a dick to ride on. Huggssss
ReplyDeleteYeah. Learn not to mix the two. There are predators out there only too willing to play the part and take advantage of you. Learn to be strong and have self control. Pray to God to help you. You are more than all this poster. Move on from the two men. Hopefully you will find someone new and start fresh.
DeletePoster
DeletePlease
D
Deed
Is
Done
Already
Don't
Kill
You
Biko
Just let him go. if he was perfect,why did you feel emotionally vulnerable.
ReplyDeleteSee ehn ,Bounce him,join a gym and take up swimming ...you ll be fine
Nonsense girl. E dey sweet you before you wreck caught.. Deal with it. .
ReplyDeleteBoys do worse... And girls will still forgive..
DeleteOf course but don't expect me to forgive. I'm not a boy that forgive anyhow, not when married man gbenshed babe.. 😂
DeletePoster just move on. And please never again would u swear with the bible. Never ever do such again.
ReplyDeleteMy dear your relationship is over and it will take a miracle to get him back. I'd advice you to try moving forward but I must tell you, this will hunt and hurt you for a great deal. Just pray, learn and keep it moving. A part of me thinks you should have stood your ground and denied while you end things with that colleague for good but it is too late. Only God can make your man continue with the relationship. E don end move on.
ReplyDeleteI know someone who called out her side d**ck's name during sex with her main boyfriend. He took her back after much begging but he put her through hell at any given opportunity. Na the girl carry her kaya go last last as the constant humiliation and reminders were not worth it. Madam, walk away now with some of your pride intact.
ReplyDeleteHe never really loved you. Just dust yourself and move on.
ReplyDeleteand you know this because? Aunty she cheated and that’s a deal breaker for some people male and female.
DeletePoster, the day I caught my boyfriend with a woman, every feeling I had for him died. I saw him as a dirty disgusting liar. We tried to patch things up but that image wouldn't go away and I knew trust was dead. Being with him was like living in hell. I couldn't bear his touch or smile. I trust 100 percent so I was highly mentally affected.
ReplyDeleteYour boyfriend could be my kind of person but the only thing I couldn't just get was that he was moving away from you before and came back after you have done the deed and now he couldn't get on with you after your confession, if not that you did it with a married man, does he think you are a tree that he can go and come and climb anytime he likes? Please use your tongue to count your teeth. That guy left you a long time ago. Move on with your life, don't make yourself vulnerable.
Yeahhhh.. But if it were to be the other way round..
ReplyDeleteMost ladies will forgive. Irony
See fuck up! You confess . Chai! And you expect him to take you back. Not a Nigerian man . You shot yourself in the neck
ReplyDeleteMost men can never forgive a cheating partner but they cheat.
ReplyDeleteNNE just move on. You will never enjoy that relationship. You have spoilt every thing.
ReplyDeleteForgive yourself and move on!
ReplyDeleteLet him go abeg. You don't want this hanging over your head. You would forever be trying to make it up to him. 27 is not old. Please move on!
ReplyDeleteUna made out as in una fuck for inside car or kiss or what. I no go school so no vex.
ReplyDeletePeoples cars they see somethings ooo. Married women you people should be doing deliverance on oga's cars because they are not clean with girls.
Sorry girl, like everyone said move on. Guys are jealous when they hear their girls have been tampered with.
Sorry oo, so many cars don suffer with so many nonsense.
The idea that someone will take you back unless they never really loved you, is false. Same as the idea that forgiveness automatically means restoration of relationship. Nigerians are weird - your definitions of "love" and "forgiveness" are downright illogical, manipulative and dangerous. Fgs, a person can take you back cos they're planning to humiliate or even kill you out of revenge, but you'll believe it's cos you've been forgiven.
ReplyDeletePoster, better stop this foolishness. I don't have the energy and refuse to make the time to talk about your dalliances with a married man. But I am wondering at the guts of a boyfriend demanding that you swear on the Bible! Even witnesses in law courts are not compelled to swear on the Bible (they can just affirm and their testimony will be accepted). But tapping of illegal penis and vagina isn't enough of an insult to God on your part, so swearing on the Bible has been included. SMH. Evaluate your life and goals for 2020 and beyond.
Your biggest mistake was not confessing to your boyfriend, your biggest mistake was making out with a married man multiple times.
ReplyDeleteAwon married man/woman is my bestie, a shoulder to cry on becomes a member to ride on.
Beg God to forgive you, find a place to forgive yourself and move on. Don't ever make yourself so vulnerable like that again and don't go about making a married man your shoulder to cry on.
Self discipline in every aspect of life should be taught and learned as a lifestyle.
Sis never ever in your life confess like this to a man again. They never forgive.
ReplyDeleteBe strong and move on; another boyfriend will come.
It’s only two people in a relationship so one person must cause a breakup. That one person happens to be you this time but you can’t kill yourself because of that.
ReplyDeleteYou already know you made a mistake. Please move on. It will hurt so much but you’ll be fine. Probably the guy thinks that you don’t respect marriage. It would have been easier if your shenanigans was with a single guy. Nevertheless, forgiveness is possible. You just have to give him time to think and space to miss you by stopping all contact with him. You sound like you guys had a good relationship. He may miss that and decide to forget what you did. However, it’s not your begging that will convince him at this point.
Its only God that will make the man take you back because most men don’t like to hear or see another man gbenshimg there babe. Even if he forgives you, he won’t love or trust you. So, it’s better you find another man and maybe this one will also teach you to keep your relationship matters private.
ReplyDeleteI am a man and i will have to be sincere with you
ReplyDeleteu cant bargain forgiveness with any man cuz we are more jealouse than u women do but all the same, my candid advice to you is
. move on and if God says he is urs,,he will come begging again cuz we men are wired like that at times but it all depends on our individual differences
what sort of guy bears pinky....hahahah....good for you thou
DeleteI think u should move on,might be difficult but it would be a lot easier than being reminded everyday or having to overcompensate for a lifetime.Move on.
ReplyDeletewomen has tender heart,,very soft and succulent like bread wey just komot for oven but mens heart,is,made of stone used in killing Goliath by david
ReplyDeleteThe guy set you up for breakup. All that time he was misbehaving, he was cheating too. He probably wants to be with the girl full time and he decided to use this scam with you. You should have told him to use the Bible to swear first if he has never cheated on you. You are a mugu sha. You better let him go because he is a time waster and a cheat. Move on abeg. Don’t fall for emotional manipulation and emotional traps. This guy will use and abuse you, you have given him the weapon he has been looking for. He has never really been nice or good to you and you know it.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣 @ ...stone used in killing Goliath by David
ReplyDeleteA person who has cheated once will cheat again. Life is full of ups and downs and some own goals. Just move on
ReplyDeleteSo at what point did he start working at the head office and you at the branch? Meanwhile you started by telling us that you follow him in his car while going home? Ajuju n'ese okwu oo
ReplyDeleteWhy did you even accept to swear with a bible? Jeez!
ReplyDeleteSome things are better left unsaid. You shoulda denied it flat! Sorry you've lost him, please move on and be wiser in your next relationship
Big lesson to those still planning to confess their sin to their boyfriend or fiancee, please carry your confession to your grave. Men have ego even if they forgive they will never forget and that relationship will not remain the same.. My single days my ex cheated on me severally but later confessed to me and I forgave him but the period we were separated I had Sex with someone So when he asked if I have ever slept with anybody since we met I said no but he insisted I had to open Up told him I once had sex with a friend that came back from UK but then we had issues Meanwhile this UK guy actually wanted marriage but I declined because of age difference, my greatest mistake Was telling him this guy flared up started calling me name like ASHAWO this is someone I never cheated On after 4yrs of dating only accepted someone else after we separated.. He ended the relationship but ask God may have it after 3month I met my husband Till tomorrow he Still regrets his actions
ReplyDeleteThis your story sounds like mine o. only that our issues lasted 4 months ND I thought to move on with someone else. Oga showed up when I started my new relationship but I dunno how to juggle two men so I told him the truth. 2 months down the line, I couldn't get oga out of my mind so I thought to call him back and apologize. For where?? Baba no gree again... I think I spent a bulk of this year about 6 months crying and apologising. He said he moved on to a new babe cuz I told him I was seeing someone else. I've given myself Brain Sha. I apologised finally 3 days ago ND blocked him. 3 years down the drain. My heart is heavy Sha but we move. Lesson learnt. Sometimes, these guys don't deserve honesty. They cannot handle it
DeleteMe I no fit confess oh, even if dem point gun for my head.
ReplyDeleteSome things are better off not saying/ telling.
It could have been a very different thing if you were caught in the act red handed, if not, omo na denial tinzz!
Count your losses and move forward.
Next time, don't bother confessing biko.
Good luck!
The guy wanted an excuse to break up with you and you gave him one. Shikena!
ReplyDeleteLeave married men alone. Nothing like "he's like a big brother to me"
It is well move on
ReplyDeleteThe boyfriend will likely not forgive you but will allow you to keep wasting your time. Move on already, hope you've learned your lesson.
ReplyDeletePoster just move on with ur life. Even though he takes you back, he will never forget the ordeal and will constantly remind you of your cheating habit at any slighest mistakes.
ReplyDeleteI had once cheated in a relationship and confess to my guy now my hubby. He felt so bad but forgive me immidiately that was 9 years ago and we are married for 2 years now but have never mention it to my year even in the heat of an arguement and its between him and I, no one else knew about it.
ReplyDeleteHE is a good man. Please don’t ever debut this him again. His kind isn’t rare
DeleteI think you should move on since he's moved on too.
ReplyDelete