STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
JEALOUS BROTHER
My brother just beat me up inflicting several injuries on me again this night. What did I do? He was provoking me to speak angrily to him and I walked away so he dragged me back and slammed my body on hard concrete twice.
Is this the first time? No. In fact the year I got admission to study law which I'm now done studying, he cracked my skull open with an iron barbecue stand.
Stella I brought this here because something tells me if I don't arrest him he'd kill me before my call to bar because he makes his envy of me so obvious (he did post utme for so many years and was not given law).
My mum keeps supporting him because to her "he's a man and the firstborn" and since he's unemployed we are supposed to make him feel like his violence is okay. I really am very tired and confused. Please advise me.
I'd really appreciate speaking with any volunteer who can counsel me about this situation because sincerely, I don't know what to do. I'm tired, I've tried mediation, tried avoiding him and all. I am so tired of all these.
I'd really appreciate speaking with any volunteer who can counsel me about this situation because sincerely, I don't know what to do. I'm tired, I've tried mediation, tried avoiding him and all. I am so tired of all these.
*If things are like this and you cannot afford another accommodation,then stay in School or look for a friend to stay with.....This horrible,he cracked your skull open and you didnt die?
Where is your dad in all these? How can a brother be doing these things without your provocation? it beats me to conceptualize. Please do what Stella has asked you. You do not need to be in that house. Out of sight is out of mind. And he does not need to know where you are.
ReplyDeleteNigerians Nigerians Nigerians!! Did you just ask where their dad is? What for, are they under 18? Even if the poster stole his girlfriend, what's the violence for?
DeletePoster you should get him arrested real quick and fast .
This is very very bad and dangerous. I concur with Stella. Please do all you can to ensure you are not in the same vicinity as your brother. The demons driving him will not have their way by God's grace. Arms length is too short a distance to be close to him. Keep him very far.
DeleteI just pity the future wife of that monster. Despite all our sermon and preaching that DV must be discouraged and eradicated, a brother is beating his own sister like this. I've never seen such wicked soul, opposite sex siblings love themselves more than anything. This your brother is not psychologically stable, he needs help.
Delete*Larry was here*
@15:55
DeleteThe family is not complete without a dad. I know my dad will be able to handle this issue. At least you read that the mother is complicit in the whole crime. Yes, I ask again, where is her dad?
When dads are missing in a family the kids become unruly.
DeleteAnd what if her dad is dead???? Why ask stupid questions? If the dad was available she would have stated it. Or cos there’s no dad there’s no solution??? I tire for some people. Answer the girl and stop asking nonsense
DeleteAnon 17:22 thank you!
DeleteYou all calm down. What is wrong in asking about her dad?
DeleteHow is it a stupid question?
Sluttychic.
Unless most of you are stupid. The anon up there asked the best question, where's heir dad, father in all of this?
DeleteWe need to know first before one can go further to advice her.
You all should stop been over emotional and keep shut if you don't know what to say.
Poster, I am sorry but your mother is a useless woman. She is raising and enabling a monster that is not only terrorising his own sister but will go on to treat someone's daughter, who is unfortunate to marry his, the same way or worse. Try and leave the house. Focus on getting a job and rent a house as soon as you can. Please never believ it's ok for a man to hit you.
DeleteThis your brother's type will kill his wife. And your mother is enabling him? Hmmmm.
ReplyDeletePoster please move out.
DeleteStella questions made me laugh hard. Madam pack commot
DeleteThe poster is a lawyer to be and knows the importance of having a police report on record for cases like this. I'll advice her to go to the station and have it in writing, make many copies and send to relevant NGOs or chambers that can be of help. Send to senior relatives if necessary. When there is need for a witness tomorrow, it is this police report that would save her as their enabling mother will swear on the Bible that the incidents never happened.
DeletePoster, know for sure that as long as you live, this guy would be jealous of you and lash out in this way. Accept this as a fact and give up on the possibility of ever changing him. Be civil but avoid him and never lose your cool- don't let him push your buttons- or know anything about you beyond the superficial. Mourn the loss of this sibling relationship and know that it won't ever change even if he becomes president tomorrow, he'll continue to measure himself to you and be vindictive. If you warm up to him, expect more beatings and when you succeed in your career, manipulation as if you stole his place in school. Be dead to all these. I wish you speedy recovery. Thanks for sharing.
I'm just imagining how he will beat his wife when he finally gets married.. His home training shows he's allowed to beat up women and nothing will happen.
ReplyDeleteTry and not challenge him when arguments starts, siblings too dey exchange words and run mouth. Your brother is not the type to overlook it so avoid him till you leave the house.
Unbelievable!!!
ReplyDeletePoster,are you sure you don't disrespect him cos you have attained a certain level?
I don't understand how a grown up man would just inflict injuries on you like that. Please do not arrest him. Move elsewhere if you can afford it. How about your dad?
You have other siblings?
Sluttychic.
Is that enough reason for him to chastise and abuse her?
DeleteEven if she disrespected him, that's why he should kill her??
DeleteShe should either arrest him and ask him to sign an undertaking or she should just move out!! But note that arresting him will make you the enemy of the family......
So cos she disrespected him he should crack open her skull?? Slutty na wah for u o. So DV is ok once u disrespect someone?? Hian
DeleteI never said it was enough reason to abuse her. Some people when they get to a certain level, they get carried away with their achievements which can generate hatred.
DeleteWith the way some of you insult and conduct yourselves on this blog, it is obvious you do same in your homes thus attracting resentment to yourselves.
Like I said earlier poster, get your own place.
Sluttychic.
You came across as indirectly trying to blame the poster... No one deserves this treatment even if the poster behaves badly There are healthy ways of correcting and resolving issues
DeleteI don't know how you guys think you can tell others hoe to think.
DeleteIt's logical, poster might be the one t provokes his brother due tomorrow her academic achievement, knowing full her brother is lagging behind academically.
It's something that happens amoung siblings and even friends
You all need to be logical when fishing out advice and not be one sided.
Note, not that I'm in support of him beating her but she need the check herself well before taking any further and concrete action against him..
Why are you guys surprised? She and Ms A are known odes that balme women for any wrong they experience.
Delete2 violent persons spotted. Nothing no matter what is done, no one should raise their hands on another. I dont blame you guys b3cause you live in a country like Yours... you better drop the mindset at MMA
DeleteWhat a terrible brother, i wish you can pack out of the house and give them space for some time. If you still feel so threatened, please arrest him and make him sign an undertaking never to raise his hands on you again because his type may even kill you someday.
ReplyDeleteNne, pls leave that house. Find somewhere else to stay. After my service year, my immediate younger brother made my life a living hell. And I had no money, suitor or job, wahala. The day he woke me up by 3am and made me write an apology letter or he will machete me up wit his demonic looking machete, I moved to Abuja to find my way. Guess what? I ended up bigger and better, I just got him a job. Biko,leave now. I only hope u are not rubbing it in his face??
ReplyDeleteNo she’s not. Didn’t u read that even in year one he broke her skull? Ok maybe u rubbed it in ur brothers face that’s why he peppered u
DeleteAnon 17:24, haahaahaaaahaaaaaahaaaa, I pee my pata. Ayam not understanding yaa vexenation abi na u be poster nii. Take am easy oo, ngwannu come chop Xmas rice.
DeleteYou got him a job? Meaning you let bygones be- not easy, kudos to you.
DeleteDon't think that getting a job has made the envy or hatred disappear
DeleteStop believing evil is logical
That your Brother is too toxic. Leave that house now before he send you to your early grave. You are a Graduate and matured enough to rent a house where you can sleep with your 2 eyes close.
ReplyDeleteI hate this shit called "only son" or "Only child " and so? Parents train your children in a responsible manner and forget this centre of attraction called "only".
Your Brother is a potential Chairman of wife beater. Am sorry for what you are passing through please help yourself and do the needful.
Good luck
Sweetheart please for the love of God move away from that family of yours, visit when he's not around.
ReplyDeleteGet your own accommodation. Don't let the devil use that possessed guy to cut your life short. Be as wise as a serpent. Hugs
Poster follow your instinct ohhh!! Find any other place or person you can squat with pending the time you can afford your own rent.
ReplyDeleteAny accommodating friend? Extended family? Let that useless boy not disable you and scatter your future.
There's no need negotiating with your mum or involving the police, it's going to be ineffective from the look of things.I
Can you find somewhere/person to put up with for the time being..stop giving the devil an opportunity to take your life prematurely...OK?!
ReplyDeleteOh Stella Please!You just cracked me up with that last line 🤣
ReplyDeleteHeed to Stella's advice please.
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to arrest him cus if you do,your mum will never forgive you.
Your mother has sung her Nunc dimittis.
ReplyDeletePlease, get away from that house as fast as possible.
So sorry about that i have a older brother Who did the same to me always fighting me unfortunatly for him i was stronger than him. When i left for Europe he wd be calling me n trying to be Nice one day he needed help and All those Who used to support him all refused to help him i was the one he turned to i helped him Even made sure My friends in uk help him. That was the greatest mistake of My life he went there gossiping about me doing All bad things ganging up with My enemies one time i got fade up of him and wrote him a bad e-mail and told him i will never help him again if he thinks he has arrived he shd return My money i used to bring him to uk,and I told him nothing good will ever Come out of him he will never develop because he is jealous and evil hearted. He has stayed in uk the past 15 yrs never gone home stays with his lazy wife Who doesnt work he does every Thing he has Nothing to show for since i cut him n others out i have developed tremendiously and I hear he asks People why they respect me more than him. But me i forgave him and live My life My mum supports him too with My other siblings i told her to get help from them since she has refused to solve this problem because AM a woman. Its been 7yrs since last i gave her money. Some times girls Are not valued in the family.
ReplyDeleteYou sound very vindictive. Why not let bygones be bygones, forgive and embrace your family. This is Christmas ooo. When you forgive you help yourself and open up channels for more blessings upon yourself. I see your case as very different from that of the poster. Merry Christmas to you.
Deleteanonymous 22:27, didn't you see where she wrote" i forgave him? you can forgive but please keep your distance abeg.
DeleteThe less they know about you the better please. A jealous heart can do anything.
She said she forgave him, but all that comes across from her write up to me is bitterness and unforgiveness. That people say they forgive doesn't mean they actually do. It ends up affecting them. Can't you see Soulja girl something is wrong? She is not only bitter against her brother, she regrets helping him, assumes he is talking against her, curses him,abuses her sister in law, then includes the rest of her family and siblings in her bitterness. Well this is my opinion. Poster anon 15:26 try to let go and embrace love. 2020 is around the corner.
DeletePlease move away from him before the angry bird kills you
ReplyDeleteMy dear poster, it might not be jealousy but frustration. Please always avoid him like he's got the plague, If he is taking the left route take right and vice versa. Avoid talks with him that will lead to altercation.
ReplyDeleteI learnt earlier from what I've experienced and seen around that most mothers will rather support their boys children(esp first born son) than girls so stop looking up to your mother for support.
If possible and you have where to stay, take a break away from home. It will do you a lot of good.
Kai this is bad. Pleaae move to somewhere safe so that he won't kill you.
ReplyDeleteHe is really jealous of what you have that he couldn't have.
Who has bewitched your brother to go all out for you. Your mum is not OK supporting domestic violence. She is aeeing you as an outsider.
Get the police involved and move out to a place they will not know.give them space
Its a pity your mum is an enabler. Leave that environment before they will kill you and claim you committed suicide.
ReplyDeleteHmmmn, your Brother is very dangerous, he could go as far as killing you-poisoning or arranging for you to be killed, he is engulfed with HATE. You need to give him a wide gap , consider moving out of the house- best solution for now.
ReplyDeleteGod will continue to protect you, He will come through for you in all aspects of life. Cheers!
What kind of mother do u have, ur mother is not a good parent. Why will a mother allow brother to beat sister.since ur brother is used to beating u then am 100% sure his wife is in trouble.
ReplyDeleteMy step brother then was always beating her sister cos she was always following boys, and my step finally got married, he all most killed his wife,na God save the woman.
Secondly, u need to play ur brother with wisdom and patient.
No matter what you brother did to u ,dnt get angry and avoid him in all means.
Thirdly,if he seen that u r avoiding him, he may try to harm you .so better still, take it to God.
Prov 21:1.tell God to change his heart for good.
I can't believe most people are saying the poster should not arrest him and asking her what she did to him. When are we going to get it?? When will Nigerians get rid of this patriarchal mentality and also sweeping everything under the carpet when it's family especially siblings.
ReplyDeletePoster if you don't do something now, your brother will never learn sense till he does it outside where he will not be forgiven. Get him arrested, get him to face the music. Get a restriction order against him, let him know its wrong to inflict injury on others.
For now try to avoid him as much as you can. If he tries starting up any trouble apologise and don't walk out but start to plan your exit from that house before he finds the perfect excuse to kill you.
ReplyDeleteYou mother has raised and is continuously pampering a demon. Leave that environment or else he will kill you and your own mother will bail him out sef. Once you have left, file a police report for the record. He is frustrated and your success makes him feel like a failure. Some males cannot handle a woman excelling in an area where they have repeatedly failed. Your mere presence reminds him of what he will never be in his mind. That boy will end up killing someone one of these days if care is not taken.
ReplyDeleteStella it's possible for something the skull or a bone to crack and not break completely. I don't think it cracked open.
ReplyDeletePoster it is well with you. Why don't you use Google to search for counseling helplines.
Whether or not you file a police report, you need to physically separate yourself from your family. Follow Stella's advice
ReplyDeletePoster quietly move out of that environment as whole before story that touch d heart will happen pls..it's a pity ur mom is an enabler in what ur brother is doing to u..
ReplyDeleteAll d best
Poster your brother is suffering from schizophrenia. Google about it, you will agree he exhibitions almost all the symptoms!
ReplyDeleteLike someone said up there, it's time to bury the relationship between you two. Mourn the loss of a sibling and move on with your life!
Remove yourself from that environment, if you can't, try as much as possible not to engage him in any form of banter no matter how hard he pushes you to react!
Always remind yourself you are not mad like him, and never reply him.
As for your mother, she should get ready, he will definitely turn on her once you are no longer around to be picked on!!
Remember, it will degenerate to him hitting your mum once you are out of there and he turns on her!!
She doesn't even know what she is into. Schizophrenia is not a small mental illness one handles with emotions like your mum is doing!
Schizophrenia or not, next time he tries hitting you, go gangster on him and employ services of soldiers or area boys (if the first option is unreachable) to beat him blue black! Teach him a bitter lesson, but don't let your mum know it's your handwork!
He wouldn't think of hitting you again!
It will soon dawn on her, I just hope it will not be late then!
Lastly,limit the info about yourself which you usually share with your mum as long as she will share it with his son!
This will make him not to have private info about you to provoke you with!
Peace!!
You must be crayzie. It takes a board certified clinical psychologist or psychiatrist to diagnose schizophrenia. Everyone now comes on like to identify borderline line personality disorder, manic depression, narcissism etc. lol mad person.
DeleteRUN AWAY!!!
ReplyDeleteIf he kills you, your mother will bail him out. They'll turn it to family matter and make up false stories about you
FIVE words.."Get the bastard arrested ASAP!!!" Africans will never stop baffling with their archaic patriarchal mentality...Trying to blame the victim...there is no justification for this type of Violence. As a matter of fact it is NEVER okay to put your hands on any adult. Can you imagine someone asking the poster to check herself because she may be provoking him.." The FUCK!!!""...By the way from your description of your brother, He fits the typical text book characteristics of borderland personality disorder or schizoaffective bipolar type. And my dear every mental health professional knows that the number one cause of mental illness is genetic. Therefore, check your mother (the enabler) too... P.S. For a start, get both of them arrested and move far far away from that toxic environment before you get killed!!!
ReplyDeleteI dont know if in Nigeria you can issue a mental Health Warrant. Am dead sure if your brother did that here, both him and your mom would have been my patients by now.