It doesn't even end there, they still claim bragging rights to who and what they made you become and won't stop hammering on how you would be nothing without them.
I came across such one time and she endlessly talked about all the people she had helped financially, how they never knew she was buoyant enough to help them,and those who were thieves and stole her money when they came visiting. The kind of information she gave out about these people even without being asked made me give her space...
I appreciated her financial assistance when I just gave birth,but I knew she would add my name to her list the next time she was reeling out names of those she had blessed.....
I was quite shocked when she told me that she was very angry with me because I avoid her and don't go visiting her once in a while since we are not too far apart.
She summed up my behaviour as an evidence of pride. How?
I didn't hesitate to apologise but I kept pondering on what she said.I maintained my distance because i didnt want to be belittled by her. I didn't want 'see finish' to enter the equation.
Even the Bible has warned us to withdraw our feet from our neighbour's house lest he be weary of us and despise us.
Maybe she was justified in her displeasure, but I'ld rather displease her than be ridiculed.
My sister you did the right thing. Let her keep insinuating all she want.
ReplyDeleteHere to read stories...
ReplyDeleteShe's the proud one.
ReplyDeleteThere's no love behind her 'giving'
I hate the 'bragging rights' of the rich but at times it is better to lend a helping hand when someone asks for it,its is so embarrassing offering help to someone you think needs it and the person turns it down,makes me look stupid.
ReplyDeleteMay God bless us all so we don't get ridiculed by those that have.
ReplyDeleteAnd again, the way some people beg is appalling, like they do it everytime and they do it with "eye service" it will only earn you disrespect.
When you exhibit such a character, people will definitely look down on you.
Hustle hard. There are times we need help, dont be ashamed to ask... ask nicely and respectfully. You don't have to feel entitled. Don't give an impression that you can't live/survive without their help.
If God has blessed you, reach out to those you can, they don't have to ask you first.
Sluttychic.
I don't think is pride. Anyone that kiss and tell, I run away from them.
ReplyDeleteI am always on my lane,I find it difficult to visit people,if you visit I do not reciprocate,I may pass and stand by the gate and say hello,I don't wake up to go and see you,if u do something for me,I will see u and appreciate,that's it.
ReplyDeleteFear women
I hate to ask anything,
If u Call me often,I stop picking and call the day I want to,facing that right now,three misses calls or received everyday,I am tired.now applyjng wisdom.cos too much of everything is not good.
If u are the talking type our conversation can be boring,I will just be yea,ok,cos if I don't reciprocate you will get angry that u are only the one telling me things.
I can be quiet,when u are done we hang up,except we are close and it is maybe celebrity gist,say my personal life ,u miss road.
I Sabi respect and dey my lane,call it pride,I call it self respect.
Nsogbu everywhere
ReplyDeleteA few weeks back,the internet was agog with one lady that wrote stuff on Twitter about poor people. Lots of people applauded her and blogs carried it around except stella(I must commend stella on that).you see mrs Dee,what you wrote up here and what that woman was on about the other day is the typical mindset of the privileged nigerian.the average Nigerian has not arrived until they can oppress the next person with their wealth.bless your soul if you go to them for help,they'll so use you,talk down on you till every sense of self worth is lost. I've since learnt that help cometh from the lord,only the lord will open doors that will give peace of mind
ReplyDeleteSome people mistake self respect n a high self esteem as pride, if some is behaving as if without them u can't do shit, dust your shoulders n look away.
ReplyDeleteThe best thing to do is to let them know why are a avoiding them. Sometimes we all need to put ourselves in the shoes of others...so instead of run,invite her over to your place, make some meals and after that,tell her that you want to tell her some hard core truth. Then explain to her politely in love. Alot of us do some things and feel is right but it might just be wrong!!! Never run away from such people. Tell them their error and if they choose to remain your friend, fine!!! And if they dont,then go ur way but deep down,that person will go have a rethink. We all need to start learning to correct in love. Looking at this story,the writer is the proud one and not the rich. The rich lady is rich physically hence all the talk but you that don't have,you are rich inwardly bcos u know the truth. but decided not to say it all in d name of you dont want her to see u in a certain kind of way....This is why I dont blame some wealthy people when it comes to association bcos even those lower than you will want u to be in their level. She might have been telling u thinking maybe u will give her the right advise...but instead u are here telling us about her pride. Go and fix it and come back to complete your story. Cheers.
ReplyDeleteBar man!!! Two bottles of champagne for this anon. 🍾🍾
DeleteHonestly, the problem of the rich is not having people who hold them accountable. So they keep going in foolishness and because everyone is 'afraid' to talk, they end up crumbling alone. Like R-Kelly... dude was so in the wrong and no one called him out. If it's me, I wont take her money. I will politely ask her if she is going to add me to the list of 'ungrateful' people. Because I know how she can be. By that, she will know something is wrong somewhere and I'm not after what she might have.
But do you blame the not-rich friends? Picture this: friend of mine got married and moved abroad and started acting funny. Like this girl went from good to evil overnight, her true colours came out. when I called her out, she went about saying I was jealous that she has married and moved abroad. And I'm like: hunh?? So because you are abroad and I'm in Nigeria, I cant advice you again?? This same me you used to run to for advice even as a married woman, has become jealous of you??! Okay. I left her where she is. She will obviously be acting a fool and blaming anyone that doesnt have foreign passport for being jealous of her, if they try to caution her. This person isnt rich, but this is the attitude of most rich people. Talk to them, they assume you're jealous of what they have.
So it's a dicey situation, really. But me, I call my friends out on their bullshit. They always hate me but when the chips are down, they remember me.
(Mnwh, The day I posted a picture of myself in the abroad she was in my DM asking why she doesnt have my number🤣🤣 I just ignored. Please continue your assumptions let's see where we shall land)
One of my sisters is like that. I think she has inferiority complex so she must brag about everyone she has helped even if it was only one naira and it was years ago. We have talked and talked to her about it. She can’t help it. It’s a part of her
ReplyDeleteToo bad. It's a form of insecurity
DeleteIf I have friends like this around me, I for happy. Irrespective of what you say and to whom, I really wouldn't mind. At the end of the day, my life is all that matters. Whether or not you are part of my success story, as long as I am successful. Brag all you want, in fact, I give you the right to do so. It doesn't make it less true.
ReplyDeleteAll you want is to survive. Not bad
DeleteFreeloader friend. Association of 'yes' men. Na them!!
DeleteI'm usually called proud. But that's just cos my self respect and gift of gab is top game. I know.
ReplyDeleteAnd the great part is that if you arent a confident person you cant be around me for long. You will start acting funny like evil spirit. I dont even have to talk in any setting, small as I may be I am usually noticed. Because of this many people always want to see me fall flat on my face. They would like to have the perfect opportunity to laugh at me and I know. So my anchor is God cos I cant shout. I no get but even people wey get dey vex for my matter. They will wanting to ask me about this and that, so me too I've learnt to hold my own to my chest.
I usually dont ask for help but anytime I need help, it comes. It comes in a very coded unexpected way that really is only between God and I. So that's Gods way of always keeping me on him.