Ever had a date that went South for one reason or the other?
My Worst date ever was when i agreed to go on a date with someone i was just getting to know...
As soon as we arrived the ise-ewu joint,he informed me loudly that i should eat well oh because ''Today na today to show you say i be man''.....Embarrassment got me all red.
The eating was loud and it was with bare hands,I refused to put my hand in the same food plate with anyone cos i always imagined dirty Toilet hands...
He kept pinching my laps ..He would reach and pinch and when i flinched and frowned it excited him....
He kept talking loud on the phone about big sums of money.....brought out his money bag and left it open for me to see all the bundles...he was a rich local man but he was very loud about it.....I don enter was what i kept telling myself.
He kept talking very loud about how he would buy me a car,rent me a self contained apartment so we could have privacy.....His status was confusing.
I needed to go and pee and he told me loudly not to run away and even asked someone to follow me...lol
Anyway to cut a long story short...On our way to the slaughter house,I asked to stop at my friends house to pick up an Imaginary overnight bag and he obliged....I knew the house and its occupants...I went in and went out from the back and vanished.....
He ranted the next day and told me i had missed out on a lifetime opportunity and if i wanted to beg,I knew where to find him.......I didn't go back and the person that introduced us who had collected a cut that i didn't now of,stopped talking to me....Hehehheheheehhe The story long.
This was my worst date ever!!!
My worst date was when a guy in my church who was on my case for a long time has been begging me for a date. Then I was so busy with work unlike now, after so much hypering of himself, money, car and how he can spoil a woman. I finally agreed for a date on one faithful Sunday evening. He called me to find out what time I will be ready, he came on time, he opened the front seat door for me. We drove off to the venue, you know the kind of dressing you do to prove to a man you are not just cheap or local chap.hhhhhhh......i wore Dior lovely glasses with my correct sneakers as at then. Holding my small fashion purse, we close for like 30 mins plus, oga was still bragging how he has been changing cars , spend on girls, church girls has been rushing him cos of his suit designs. I agree he dresses well to church, his suits are good quality and love but bragging about it is a turnoff for me. We got closer to the gate where he was taking me to before in it the car just stopped in the middle of road. Oga tried everything possible car refused to start, that was how he begged me to assist in pushing the car, I came down look at so many people looking at us, shame killed me. After I assisted him in pushing the car I jejely took a bike and left him there. He called the following day I told him to get a befitting car and stop bragging with jalopy car.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteAs in...this is funny 😆😆😆😆😆
Deleteemmm so i am 23 will be 24 next year, i work with a company that pays ok not great, i want to save up and buy my self a car i feel i deserve it, all the long hours of work and getting home late in the night. but my parent want me to get a masters degree instead that i have my whole life ahead of me to get a car but i also have my whole life ahead of me to get a masters degree besides it is my money we still had that argument b4 church this morning. pls am i been insensitive
Delete🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
DeleteAnon if that makes you feel better. Pls buy.
DeleteAnon as long as you live under your parents roof, they have the final say.
Delete15.21 you also need to think about safety. Getting a car means less chance of encountering one-chance buses. You are an adult, while your parents can advise, the choice should be yours. I don't it's fair for them to be planning your life for you at this age.
DeleteThey have the final say over her money???
DeleteNa wah ooh!
😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
ReplyDeleteI wonder what would have happened to stella inside that slaughter house.
The man would have collected every pound of isi ewu you ate and scattered the cookies.
Good to know that you are wiser.
😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
I don't have a bad date.
Crack bone self on top
DeleteThen pick teeth
Chai
Nasty entitled people no be am oo
If stella knack am she go tell us ni.🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️
ReplyDeleteworst date.... Can't think of any...gentlemen comes my way n we normally eat, watch Netflix n chill, I came to enjoy life.
ReplyDeleteI have written my courtship story extensively here.
ReplyDelete😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Courted (and married) only one man and never had a bad one. Talked about the one who thought the way to get me to "date him" was an SUV gift through my aunt which I rejected. That one was one of the most annoying persons that ever approached me. Pride puts me off so quickly. Anyway let's leave that one...😊😊😊😊
So which one we go face?
Ajuju oo
I go yarn na.😊😊😊😊😊
I like the way my friends go on dates with one of their female friends in an
open place like eatery so that if the man na kidnapper, at least them go have witness. Kudos 😊😊😊😊
But some Naija girls overdo the thing.
Eheeeee, that time them gather them roommates like a basketball team to go chop. If them come back from such owambe eh, if you see their bags, you go
think say them rob shoprite and Mr. biggs combined.
Shuoooooooooorrrr!
Una wan liquidate the dude 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲
E get one tori o. The squad land the restaurant and while they were devouring chickens and co, the dude was busy sizing up the other three Naija girls that showed up. So finally, he proposed a five-way fork and named his price for each friend -na students o. 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲
That kind money wey fit vacuum the brains of my Naija girls. Of course the dude's date refused, "what do you take me for...?"
Ajuju oyibo
But the other three reason am and do Sisi overhead o. Them follow dude go house and three more rugged dudes were waiting... 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲
I no go fit complete this tori... make my veteran friends help me ...
But finally, it was lost game for all
the girls.
Come and finish the story please.
DeleteThis AGN person could be James aka peacemaker in disguise. Your lies are smelling.
Delete@16:50
DeleteSo James has become the Attorney General of Nigeria?
Hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa
With maggots crawling all over.
DeleteOk I went on a date. I met this new guy thru a friend in my office! Let's say I saved the guy name with Tobi. I forgot I have another friend named Tobi also. The Tobi1 was a former toaster in uniben, always saying he wanted to see me! Weekend am always tired and all. So one Friday tobi called! I thought it was Tobi 2, that's d one my colleague introduced me to. Getting to d location we were to meet! I waited and waited! I chatted the Tobi2 thinking he was the one.
ReplyDeleteHey where are you??? He was like! Long time! This one you chatted me today! I quickly checked and noticed ooo no be this tobi ooo. Yepa! Finally the ugly Tobi 1 came! Guy looking so dried up! He noticed the look on my face like I was worried! Was not expecting him. Because I nearly asked him wat he was doing here. Yeee😂😂😂😂. I no get choice but to seat and we talked but my dear all my dressing and uber moni go. Thus dry tobi1 no see transport give me. I was mad inside🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can relate.
DeleteI don't understand girls expecting a guy to give them transport money back unless you are unemployed?
DeleteHe can drop you at home, that one still makes sense.
He should give you transport money. The highest he should do was get a cab for you. No rule obligated him to pay for the cab.
DeleteHey I did not expect him to pay. I only felt he was not the person I wanted to see. After spending on uber. If I had use dando for this tobi my former school mate. Na we we. E for no pain me.
DeleteHow can you go on a date without "vex money?"
DeleteI went on a date with a guy to the cinema. We were watching iron man and ever seat in the screen was filled.
ReplyDeleteDear bvn 30mins into the film guy man started snoring. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me!!!!!!
😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I will just jejely press ctrl delete, leave him there to enjoy is snoring.
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteHahaha
DeleteHis not the cinema type, he just went to make you happy. But the snoring 😀😀
DeleteMen that wear white shoe puts me off. Don’t know y, now this guy came from America , cool dude no tats just d white collar type guy
ReplyDeleteHe saw me liked me , we talked and he invited me to his house in Uwani, I didn’t mind , I grew up in Trans
The D day came, I was all dressed up waiting, he was late but eventually arrived, bad timing all d boys in my street chose that hour to play football infont of my house , I step out, didn’t understand the funny looking one door car. He stepped out ,of all the colors in d world he wore a White shoe🙄I needed to rush into his car so he can drive out , D STUPID car didn’t start ,he kept opening the burnet and doing whatever, I was mad inside me, excused myself and told him to come to d front house( the street had 2 major motor way back and front). He got some of d street boys to help push d car, me I was livid but d spirit of anger still pushed me to go, got to his house and d smell of public yard toilet, urine smell was all over d place. Omo I asked we had lunch at Ogui road, from there he dropped me at Polo park, took a cab and rod home, refused him to drop me. That was it, the street boys mocked me ehen!anytime I see him at his Aunty’s place 2nd Avenue I carry face. Nonsense person very stingy thing
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😃😋😋😋😋😋I have been laughing and crying at the same time. So funny 😀😀😀😀😀😁
DeleteEnter your reply...chai!! trans and 2nd avenue,my area oo.funny story
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I hate male white shoes too jare
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣Aunty identify yourself o. Naw Trans Ekilu! From your description you stay on d low cost (Road side) it’s either , Road 8,9,10 or 5. This are the roads with 2 motor way. Who are u. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Nwa Ogbe. Your story funny die
DeleteLol aunty sorry oo... I stay in road 8. Annon what do you mean by low cost.. come and explain osiso
DeleteMen's white shoes are always annoying especially the one the use white polish on.
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂 especially those ugly half white shoes wey bend like canoe
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Stella you got me in stitches. You tried, I would have left him and leave.
ReplyDeleteToaster came to pick me from my crib, on our way out of the estate, he hit someone's car (they were dragging road o), next thing he came down and starts shouting "do you know who i am? I will deal with you" i just slouched sharp sharp to avoid anyone from seeing me. Next thing he comes to the car and says can't i come down? I'm like to do what? Fight the guy on your behalf?
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I laughed so hard. In his mind, you are his ride or die babe na, his cheer leader.
DeleteI 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteCome down and cheer him up
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteCome and help him fight 😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
Delete😂😂😂 come down and help him fight now.
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteWanted to type never had a bad date then I remembered one. The dude took me to a place that played really loud music, so conversation was out. Even if you shout, you won't hear yourselves. This is someone I was getting to know so I didn't understand it and to cap it all, a fight broke out with broken bottles and chairs as weapon of choice. We all had to run for our lives. He kept on apologising for his terrible choice. I just xd him in my mind, never picked his calls again.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness! I had a good laugh.
Delete🤣🤣🤣Oshodi level. Na MC olomu boy. Don’t worry Mike will brush his crew up with Ciggar
Delete17:45 you are crazy😂😂😂
Delete🤣🤣🤣
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂chai this is too funny abeg..I don break chair with laugh!😂😂😂😂
DeleteThat's y wen I'm going out without someone for d first, if u take me to mamaput kinda places, it means u ain't serious with me!
Lol Mama Nkechi beer parlour 😂😂🖑🖑
DeleteThe guy had been asking me out for a while. So one Saturday afternoon we went for lunch. Half way through the meal,he makes a phone call and says "yes dear she is here". He gives me the phone asking me to talk to his wife. She goes "my husband says he likes you,please date him, i asked him to pick a lady and be faithful to us, instead of cheating up and down".
ReplyDeleteI was so shocked dropped the phone and walked out. Blocked him everywhere. Abeg my destiny is important to me...
Dem for suck you dry....one did same to my aunt, kept calling her to agree to marry her husband as a second wife that she didn't mind, uncle started asking for statement of account and when her brother in the US send her money 🤣🤣🤣Inukwa
DeleteAsin this thing happened for real???
DeleteWonderment 😶😱😱
Tell me u are joking. Yeeeee☹☹☹🤣
DeleteHaaaaaa
Delete😲😲😲
DeleteJesu 😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteAgreed to go on a date with one fellow I had been chatting with. It was a first date and my friend was the one who gave him my number. He was very cool over the phone, smart and civil.
ReplyDeleteHe told me he was driving over and I came out of my gate only to meet a short man on foot, wearing suspenders with 'papa's cap'. Hian. Turned out it was his uncles car, the uncle was the one driving and they parked at my junction, I walked out with him and everyone on the street was staring plus there was a child dedication was ongoing so there were people milling about.
When we got to the old, rickety jeep I saw his so called uncle, an old man with not a single strand of black hair left. We went to a loud 'joint' I hated it and they kept jumping up to dance old school moves and started talking about Cyril stover when he was young and some strange names I can't remember. His old uncle snatched a microphone and started singing along to all the songs, it was old school night.
Time to leave, uncle said I must stay longer, when I refused he refused to release the car for Mr man. The fellow expected us to walk down my street by 9.45pm. As the taxi we took dropped other people, I ordered him into my street. I never saw him again, he got the message and stopped calling.
I wonder if his old uncle survived the night with the lady he took home, he was drinking gin and chewing bitter cola at the bar. Uggghh!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteYou mean you went out with your fathers age mate🤣🤣 I can only imagine them dancing to old songs...oh lord, I don laugh taya
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteThey sound like jolly guy men, chai!
😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 but some of you try ooo. I would have pretended it wasn't me, once I came out and he wasn't as I expected. You tried walking to the jeep with him and even sat out with them. The patience some of you have can only be grace.
ReplyDeleteThis is the most funniest post. Stella I feel alot of people are too busy today to open this post. Please do a carry over. Hahahahahaha 🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteFirst data and dude took me to his friend's house to babysit his friend's kid, while they both went for a birthday party. Dude thought that by telling everyone I was his wife I'll be foolish. Left him in one terrible traffic and took bike home. He said he got home by 1am.
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahah this one also happened inside life??
DeleteThe worst dates are sitting there eating, laughing and drinking while pretending that I care about her stories. I am just being patient waiting to shift pant. If I want hear stories, I will watch movies. My small head needs to be fed. That's all and that's why I am out on a date. Shikena.
ReplyDeleteThanks Stella and Bvs for this segment. I was about descending into the blues when I hit this post.
ReplyDeleteYa'll are hilarious. Great peeps! 👍🏽
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😄😄🤣😄🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
Awww thank God u are happy.😂😂😂
DeleteThis is about candy and her friends in campus that go together for dates and cum back with takeaways for us the nerds who will bail them on exam. New joint opened in town and peeps are boasting about it so this abroadians came just before Xmas hols. They met the babes in town and dazzled them with their bling bling and haccents. When they came to pick them up from the campus with full option blasting 4 runner, they felt fly so candy and three friends decked up and went out to the new joint, we were waiting for the takeaways as usual till our phones started ringing non stop but when we are reading our rules include no phone rings, absolute silence so we didn't know till a guy came in to tell us that our pals needed bailout do we checked phones and were told to transfer cash to them. Okokobioko, the bill was close to 45k, chaiii we don't enter am ohh, we rallied and did and the gist was that the 4 girls and 3 guys ate well and girls took take away plus bought gifts there only to refuse to follow guys to their slaughter house and guys used awayian calls to confuse them and zoomed off. Na that time drama start. It was a big scandal but after the Xmas hols news died down. Big girls but empty bank accounts.
ReplyDeleteThis is about candy and her friends in campus that go together for dates and cum back with takeaways for us the nerds who will bail them on exam. New joint opened in town and peeps are boasting about it so this abroadians came just before Xmas hols. They met the babes in town and dazzled them with their bling bling and haccents. When they came to pick them up from the campus with full option blasting 4 runner, they felt fly so candy and three friends decked up and went out to the new joint, we were waiting for the takeaways as usual till our phones started ringing non stop but when we are reading our rules include no phone rings, absolute silence so we didn't know till a guy came in to tell us that our pals needed bailout so we checked phones and were told to transfer cash to them. Okokobioko, the bill was close to 45k, chaiii we don't enter am ohh, we rallied and did and the gist was that the 4 girls and 3 guys ate well and girls took take away plus bought gifts there only to refuse to follow guys to their slaughter house and guys used awayian calls to confuse them and zoomed off. Na that time drama start. It was a big scandal but after the Xmas hols news died down. Big girls but empty bank accounts.
ReplyDeleteCandy of uniben?
DeleteWon't describe mine as worse. What happened was that he was pressuring me to go out, kept giving different excuses. Finally obliged. First date went well, second one ehn, so we sha went on a date, before we settled in for the food my date asked if the take transfer, they said yes. After eating time to pay, internet banking messing up. (dah time internet banking just started) Hehe, tried so many things, called the bank for several minutes to log complain, those ones were speaking grammar. I didn't take my card with me too. Only had transport money. Was already feeling uncomfortable, those that came after us were leaving. After every every, it was getting very dark, he sha called his neighbour, luckily the neighbour had money to bail us o. Rain beat my ass that day ehn.
ReplyDeleteAwww kpele must be embarassing
DeleteIt was in 2012 when I usually chat random babes up on Facebook. I started chatting with this babe regularly and she said she was in Uniben medical laboratory science dept.
ReplyDeleteOne day I decided to go to Auchi Poly from Ibadan to collect my OND result and I had to stopby in Benin to see this Eunice Kenedi.
I got close to Benin and called her, she said I should come to Okada. I was confused because they were of different axis as I came to Benin via Akure instead of Ore. Local man didn't know any route then.
I got to Okada around 4pm and she said I should take a cab to Mighty. I didn't know that Mighty was a Hotel. I took bike and got to mighty, saw some IUO students smoking, gambling and enjoying their selves. I called Eunice over 30times and she didn't pick. When it was 5:30pm, a cab drop 3 girls of about 16-18yrs of age wearing tight swimming trunks.then she called me and my phone was in silent mode but I reluctantly picked and it was Eunice Kenedi and her friends. My God, I prayed to God to help me through. I asked myself so many questions like why me, why is my dad poor, why did I come to Okada at all.
I summoned courage and met them, we sat and they said they wanted only fruit juice. I got three for them and was still within my budget. I was already uncomfortable with the environment and excused the girl for a brief talk. She apologized for not telling the truth about her school. She was Igbinedion University student in Medical lab Sci dept. I knew I won't die untimely if I didn't die that day.
Suddenly the friends said they needed a hot drink as the rain began falling heavily. I got to bar menu and the least drink was N4800, I paid for it and was already looking for escape route. I ran with my two left legs inside the heavy rain and my new traveling bag's handle got bad and I had to put my bag in my head and escaped those girls. I was lucky to get the last car to Benin by 8pm and I I met another guy who had similar experience as mine but his own was worse and I became friends with the guy there and then. The matter plenty enu mi Ole so tan.
I contacted a lady on S&M and we met at an eatery in Ibadan, she attends Bishop Wale Oke's church. I didn't like her as she looked too old for me despite the fact that I specified the age limit I wanted o.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't even open my mouth to start any conversation with her. She now asked if I brought her to come watch her like a TV. I couldn't say nada. Na so I just go buy her some meat pie aND I left. I deleted her number there and then and never do blind dates again. Nothing wey Musa no go see for gate.
Na me first yarn Eunice Kenedy for Igbinedion University Okada own. I have too much stories to tell.
Oscar Efoghe aka Osmoses.
It was in 2012 when I usually chat random babes up on Facebook. I started chatting with this babe regularly and she said she was in Uniben medical laboratory science dept.
ReplyDeleteOne day I decided to go to Auchi Poly from Ibadan to collect my OND result and I had to stopby in Benin to see this Eunice Kenedi.
I got close to Benin and called her, she said I should come to Okada. I was confused because they were of different axis as I came to Benin via Akure instead of Ore. Local man didn't know any route then.
I got to Okada around 4pm and she said I should take a cab to Mighty. I didn't know that Mighty was a Hotel. I took bike and got to mighty, saw some IUO students smoking, gambling and enjoying their selves. I called Eunice over 30times and she didn't pick. When it was 5:30pm, a cab drop 3 girls of about 16-18yrs of age wearing tight swimming trunks.then she called me and my phone was in silent mode but I reluctantly picked and it was Eunice Kenedi and her friends. My God, I prayed to God to help me through. I asked myself so many questions like why me, why is my dad poor, why did I come to Okada at all.
I summoned courage and met them, we sat and they said they wanted only fruit juice. I got three for them and was still within my budget. I was already uncomfortable with the environment and excused the girl for a brief talk. She apologized for not telling the truth about her school. She was Igbinedion University student in Medical lab Sci dept. I knew I won't die untimely if I didn't die that day.
Suddenly the friends said they needed a hot drink as the rain began falling heavily. I got to bar menu and the least drink was N4800, I paid for it and was already looking for escape route. I ran with my two left legs inside the heavy rain and my new traveling bag's handle got bad and I had to put my bag in my head and escaped those girls. I was lucky to get the last car to Benin by 8pm and I I met another guy who had similar experience as mine but his own was worse and I became friends with the guy there and then. The matter plenty enu mi Ole so tan.
Oscar Efoghe aka Osmoses.
Went on a date with one officer that has been on my case since, we went to a bar and I took peppersoup and malt after the date he dropped me and started saying he wanted us to date so I told him I couldn't date him and the next thing I heard was "Why didn't you say so before I took you out" so I asked him how much money did he spend so I could make a transfer to him and he got angry and said I was acting as a child
ReplyDelete