I am so shocked after reading this that i dont know what to say...Traditions in Nigeria in indeed not fair on women at all......
Do you know the traditions of any state/tribe in Nigeria as reagrds to Marriage?
SHOCKING TABOOS FOR MARRIED COUPLES IN ESANLAND OF EDO STATE...
These are applicable to Isoko/Urhobo men too.
In Esanland, the institution of marriage is sacred and as such,
has strict traditional rules guiding it...
1. When a woman is married to an Esan man, it is an abomination for another
man to touch her wrapper.
It is considered as though she has committed adultery, unless the married
woman shouts at the man or reports to her husband.
2. When a woman commits adultery, she will loose her children and her life as the ultimate repercussion for the abominable act, unless she confesses and makes restitution. She is subsequently stri*ped, a part of her head is shaved, a part of her privates too. Armpits are shaved as well.
Both her hands are tied to her back, while a basket full of trash is placed on her head. She is then paraded and shamed around the community by other
women.
3. If this is not done and the woman goes head to cook for her children, they will die one after the other including her.
If she secretly confesses to her husband and out of love or pity he conceals her confession, he will die within a week, if he continues to eat meals cooked by his adulterous wife.
NO hiding place for cheats and their and accomplices.
No matter how powerful or wealthy you are, you cannot escape!
4. It is a taboo for another man to cross the outstretched legs of a
married woman, else it is considered as though she already had s#x with the man.
5. A married woman cannot steal her husband’s money in Esanland as it is seen as an abomination. She must tell him about it.
6. It is considered an abomination for a any man to sit on the matrimonial bed of an Esan couple, as it is considered a taboo.
7. It is also an abomination for a woman to spit in disgust at her husband under any circumstance.
If she does, she must sacrifice a chicken to appease him. However, the man
can bathe his wife with his own spit... If disgusted by her behaviour.
Esan people are unique in Nigeria. A woman must decide from the bottom of
her heart if she is truly ready to marry an Esan man before venturing into
marriage with him.
*Copied*
WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT...So what happens to the man if he cheats?This bullshit!!!
Not so true ma!!
ReplyDeleteBut the one of sleeping with another man is true...
That’s during the traditional marriage, the man lifts her up 7times in his lap .. and she’s given a goat !!
Well, I am
Regina Daniels don enter...here's is not Esan but similar
DeleteSo are they telling me no esan woman has ever committed adultery? I don't think I believe this.
DeleteReading this post i laugh tire. my both parents are from Esan (Ewu, Ehanlen). Only when a woman commit adultery is abomination. although during traditional marriage these rule are well spell out for the woman, and i think it all depend on the family. i heard of some family that allow the woman to sleep with other men to father children for their son, if he is impotent.
Delete1. No man should touch your wrapper: i think the meaning of this is that don't allow ordinary man see your nakedness, e no mean say you know go remove wrapper for your doctor. this is against adultery for women.
2. This has been reversed and its now a case of the soul that sin shall die. if a woman commit adultery its effect is on the woman, no harm come near the husband or the children.
3. what you don't know will not affect your. it's when the man know and he decides to keep quit i think there might be effect, but how many people still do this. christianity has abolished, except the husband is a traditionalist.
4. This though i don't know. i think this has to be for other men to respect a married woman.
5. This one no follow abeg. there is no law concerning this.
6. For this particular one. i think it still has to do with respecting the married woman.
7. for this i think goat may still apply.
No fear!!!!!
These silly traditions favor just the men folk. Some years back,my friend's mum fell Ill and was taken from one hospital to another,we resorted to taking her to different prayer houses,yet there was no result. My friend finally called her dad to inform him of all that has been going (her mom and dad are separated. The man got married to two other women while her mom remained single),the man simply asked if she gave any man money,my friend's mom remembered she gave her younger brother money whose business was failing. That was the cause of her problems,she didnt know she still had to take permission from him to give any man money including her father even after their separation. Las las she was taken back to the village,sacrifices were offered on her behalf before she got healed.
ReplyDeleteFor real!!!
DeleteFor real!!!
DeleteThis is shocking.
DeleteWhat???
DeleteI am damn serious,this one no be dem say dem say. saw everything live and direct
DeletePlease this isn’t applicable to Isoko people. I’m full blooded isoko, my parents and their parents before them were full isoko as well and I’m quite familiar with our customs.
ReplyDeleteAsk your parents or grand parents what "Enrin" is.
DeleteThen come back and tell us.
Anon 14:52 it's in isoko but not as serious as esan, if as a woman you commit adultery then you start losing your children. As for the men you don't dare openly accuse your wife of cheating on you without proof because if you do and she's innocent you just might lose your life.
DeleteThis is actually true ooo, because my soon to be father in law keep saying this to my ear every time and asking me if i am truly ready to marry them!
ReplyDeleteThey are Esans and they have a lot of traditions as per marriage.
Even we wey be Edo dey fear Esan people.
DeleteI wish you well
@swag you are right. Edo people run from Esan people. Hence the adage if you see a snake and someone from Esan, leave the snake and....
DeleteAnony the adage is crap or BS
DeleteSwag you are to talk like Benin is better!! Anon and swag you two need to run along and stop stereotyping esans!! The rest of edo don't are not better face your prostitution problem and stop embarrassing edo
DeleteWomen women women!!!
ReplyDeleteMake we run commot for earth for Una? Shuo!!!
Orrr!!
hmmmmmmm,,traditions can never be wave.
ReplyDeletebut come to think of it,,,why is it that,our women are at d receiving end? its so disheartening,,so a man can cheat but the wife cannot,,waow,wat a waste of tradition to me.
in ilaje,itebu kunmi to be precise,,its a taboo to bring in a bastard and if the d baby u are carrying is not for ur husband,its better u confess before the expected date of delivery, if not,then after birth,the baby will be thrown into the river and if he comes back then it must be dead on arrival.
hod have mercy but sincerely,if tradition has had its way,so many attrocities committed now by some idiots and our foolish leaders wouldnt have gotten to,this level.
now,,monarch and high chiefs have resulted in looting our money and also chanhing wat d dieties says
Stop lying!
DeleteThe ilajes don't throw their babies into the rivers to confirm illegitimate babies.
No child is a bastard. Correct your self. It takes a man and a woman to produce a child you ignorant heifer. How dare you call a child a bastard?
DeleteDid you read what MC wrote? Read well, comprehend before saying someone is lying. Always read to understand please. That's how you fail exams. Bebeto
DeleteAnon 17:33. I know what I am saying. The ilajes don't throw their babies in the rivers to confirm legitimacy of such babies.
DeleteI am an ilaje lady. My parents are both ilajes. I asked my mother just now to confirm and she said no, that such doesn't happen in ilaje land.
She said it is the Ijaws that practice such which she has witnessed before.
Ask your mother which side of the Ijaws.
DeleteThere's nothing as such where I'm from. Ask her.
This one na proper decision o
ReplyDeletePlease does anyone have any idea if these things happen in Imo state too.
Better not ask your husband to be. He might not know or he may conceal the more damaging ones.
DeleteMost of those laws are applicable in otukpa but not all.
ReplyDeleteMost of these laws are not fair to women.
Very true. I remember my elder sister was given kola to eat. I can't remember what they say would happen again but it's got to do with adultery.
DeleteAleku, my colleague tells me about it.
DeleteBut I like theirs if it works.
If you as a single otukpa man knowingly have an affair with a married woman, the man will die in a mysterious way.
My both parents are from Ewan land and his is so not true o.my sister married an Ekpoma guy and I didn't see all this happening o. Just because it happened to one person shouldn't give room for generalization please!!!!
ReplyDeleteYour sister should ask well O! you would not know of these hidden traditions until you unknowingly commit one of them.
DeleteIt’s a man’s world... lol
ReplyDeleteWomen done suffer sha
ReplyDeleteImagine ‘However the man can bathe his wife in his own spit if disgusted by her behaviour’... Jeeeeezzzz! Imagine that!
women are really in bondage.
DeleteI will just cut off that spitting tongue. What nonsense.
DeleteWell, I'm from Akwa-Ibom married to an Esan and I hope these rubbish is hoax.
ReplyDeleteOne chance ur kpoyor for ur husband only.
DeletePlease just try and dare the tradition first then .......
DeleteAre you planning to cheat Vivadrew?? If yes, better abort mission oh.It is true but they deny it.
DeleteNot planning and never will...Never! Not because of some blood sucking traditions but my values and principles are too high for such, no matter what. Always threatened hubby "you cheat, I cheat" but honestly can't imagine doing such. Thanks all anons, you got me giggling
DeleteI do not believe this. I have been married to an Esan man for over 12 years.
ReplyDeleteHow you violated any of the rules to confirm it's not true?
DeleteMe I've violated n repented countless times and we both from esan, maybe those laws don't get to abroad people, we cool n we got blessed on top.
DeletePls my dear try and violate the laws first before we know how far.
DeleteDo not go to Esan land. Most times the laws (gods or demons) of these laws are activated when you cross the boundary into the said native land.
DeleteTotal Nonsense
ReplyDeleteAnymore cultures out there with traditions like this? I'm asking on behalf of my younger cousins, nieces and unmarried friends.
ReplyDeleteAny traditions for Anambra people let me know now oooh
DeleteIt's a man's world. Apart from the western world, culture and tradition favor men. Even religion too.
ReplyDeleteCan someone please explain the traditional divorce process in Esan culture?
ReplyDeleteThank God I am not a woman.
ReplyDeleteYou have a mother? Sisters? Nieces? Daughters?
DeleteThis “it’s not my business cos I’m not affected” attitude is a serious problem.
Check your mindset.
stories for the gods , just to keep women in fair and bondage
ReplyDeletethis is nonsense, so what happens if an Esan married man touches another woman's wrapper? i dislike the way women are treated from this part of the world.
ReplyDeletethis is our world.
ReplyDeletewe are king.
associationof terrible Men(ATM)president.
Yes, all these are befitting laws/rules for people who reject Christ.
ReplyDeleteWhen you tell some people about Christ's salvation, they sneer at you.
If you don't accept Christ, then you have to accept traditions.
Sound it.
DeleteI've heard about different traditions but the most shocking to me is still the one of contraceptive being a taboo. Stella , please do a post on how some families see it has a taboo for their wives to use contraceptive. Let's learn from people's experiences and even get some background information on how the thing started. Heard from church , how one woman dI'd for going against the law and getting a contraceptive implant. Heard how another woman got mad. I mean what could be more barbaric and misogynistic than this?
ReplyDeleteWomen don suffer for men ✋
ReplyDeleteMy cousin is married to an Esan man. A naval sailor. She cheats on a steady and none of these shit has happened. Oh, she has children for her hubby and she is a grandma of 3 children.
ReplyDeleteThe above only works when you believe it. I will go further to say that whilst she is not from the Esan tribe, she is from a part of NIgeria where its a taboo for married women to cheat but like i said, neither the suppresive tradition of her biological place nor marital place has deterred her nor have there been any repercussions.
the mind is a wonderful thing and it plays on your beliefs. You will always here stories of our neighbours sister's sons girlfriends rabbit owner's inlaw, who's wife cheated and she has now ran mad or lost her children yen yen yen: but ask them for real evidence, mba, e no dey!! its just traditions and cultures designed to oppress the female folk
You are blessed and highly favoured for this comment. It's all in there,your MIND :)
DeleteRead the caption,if the woman is caught and the husband knows about it,she will face the repacaution.
DeleteI believe you, I'm from Nsukka, married to an esan man,during the years we separated, my rendezvous was top notch, I made sure I explored, we settled after two years, here we are relishing our old age, nobody treated headache, I'm not a slave to tradition. Maybe its grace.
DeleteOA.
They will not hear. The mind is very powerful oh.
DeleteAnon 18:14 how old are you that you will be mentioning old age here?
DeletePeople just enjoy lying
Most times all this deity this and that happen when they catch HIV. In those days no cure for it and it can present even as "madness".
DeleteBut the Nsukka woman I remember when you were troubled and asking for advice on this blog. Abi no be you write that chronicles that made all known blog id go anonymous.
DeleteHaq haq haq
Anon 18:45 I thank God I saw this post cos I wondered why I was led here when I didn't even look at it yesterday.
DeleteIt appears there's another OA on here cos I didn't write that @ 18:14. Please, look at the writing style - punctuation, grammar, etc - and compare to other comments signed OA. The indiscriminate use of commas? Nah, I don't write like that. I'm not from Nsukka, my husband definitely isn't Esan, we're both currently under the age of 40, and OA is actually an abbreviation for a name I was given by my husband's folks. My husband is one of the most precious gifts I've ever been trusted with by God, and actually fear God - I've NEVER been unfaithful.
OA
seriously wen I read dat I said in my kind d OA I know will never write dat......why do people like impersonating!!
Delete07 :43 OA
DeleteI knew something was off
Bikonu, can anyone help me out with the customs and traditions of the kalabari people. Make person know wetin eim wan enter
ReplyDeletePeople calm down.
ReplyDeleteMuch as these customs and traditions seem to favour the men, the traditional African man seems to have established a fact:
IT IS IN THE PLACE OF A MAN TO MAKE A MOVE
IT IS IN THE POWER OF A WOMAN TO SAY YES OR NO.
Like it or not, women are fashioned with more self control than men.
Forget Hollywood and nollywood lies as well as interested sensationalism on sexual libido, it is a woman that gives the man the visa to her coochie.
So if a married woman strays, IT IS BECAUSE SHE DECIDED TO FALL.
QED
I fail to see the problem with these traditions. If a woman is compelled to sleep with another man, she is free to divorce her husband.
ReplyDeleteI am surprised that most people are ignorant of the cheating laws against women. almost every tribe in the Eastern and southern parts have it. I am from idoma tribe in Benue and we have same cheating laws against women.
ReplyDeleteI’m from delta state and this so called tradition exist in my tribe. Believe me y’all, I’ve done extensive research and I can tell you 100% that the thing is bullshit. In my opinion it’s just a tool to create fear in women so they won’t cheat. And also if they cheat so that they’ll be scared something would happen so they can confess it themselves. That way they can make an example of the person stupid enough to confess and scare the rest. As for the people who confess it’s a mind thing, maybe their kid was gonna have a headache on that particular day regardless of cheating or not but since they’re cheating they’ll relate it to that and go confess out of fear. It’s just men being misogynistic as usual. They won’t to control women. Also in those days women were not that exposed or educated so they went with the bogus lie. Nothing would happen to anyone it’s all lies! Men just wanna be superior, eat their cake and have it. Nonsense!!! Cheat on me and I’ll cheat back, no two ways about it.
ReplyDeleteFrom all I've read here, the efik tribe is the fairest to women, I'm efik and when you're being given out in marriage, the husband and family are warned that as they've given you their child, let no harm come to her. If she's no longer good enough, return her in one piece.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and his family were given that warning and I hear it in every efik traditional marriage I attend.
They place so much value on their girls.
Nenwe people from Aninri local govt of enugu state have the same cheating laws
ReplyDeleteWell am an ika man in delta state. Its the same with ours. I lost my best friend Ewere after the mum committed adultery. Many of the siblings also died,including the father. So we are careful when marrying. Our parents sometimes disagree we marry igbo because most of them married to our people cheat and it result to deaths. Not all igbos though.
ReplyDeleteIn ika once a woman commits adultery rabbits will be visiting their house in broad day light and the ch will start dying.
ReplyDeleteNafear fear. Nothing go happen. It is like threatening Christians with heaven and hell. It is all about control. Perhaps someone had some afflictions after adultery and they attributed it to the adultery to control women. All those Esan married in Italy doing their things, how come they are still alive? Total B.S
ReplyDeleteIbu onye Enugwu-Ezike?
ReplyDelete