STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED WIFE
Dear Stella,
I got married 2016 and while I was dating hubby he told me he once dated a lady who lives in same building with him but they have broken up. We got married and his Ex girlfriend also got married though I noticed he so much loved her and she was not really into him, his this kind of man that loves fair ladies a lot he never wanted settling for dark women and I am a dark lady.... when we wanted getting married my pastor asked him that this one he likes fair ladies hope he won't later turn his back to cheat on me with them..
Straight to the point I noticed that my husband always goes checking on his Ex social media accounts, checking her newest pix and maybe things about her and I keep asking him why he always checks her page and he would become angry and I would just wave things away...
Dear Stella,
I got married 2016 and while I was dating hubby he told me he once dated a lady who lives in same building with him but they have broken up. We got married and his Ex girlfriend also got married though I noticed he so much loved her and she was not really into him, his this kind of man that loves fair ladies a lot he never wanted settling for dark women and I am a dark lady.... when we wanted getting married my pastor asked him that this one he likes fair ladies hope he won't later turn his back to cheat on me with them..
Straight to the point I noticed that my husband always goes checking on his Ex social media accounts, checking her newest pix and maybe things about her and I keep asking him why he always checks her page and he would become angry and I would just wave things away...
fast forward to last week I saw him checking on her again and same yesterday I was just squeezing my face and when he asked what the problem was I told him it's cause he was checking out on his Ex again and he Hissed and said so that's the reason am annoyed and went to bed and slept off.. mind you he has never been remorseful any time I confront him on same issues, he sees it like it's normal. ( Am not a team snoop and I never snooped only came across it when I try checking on someone through his page)
Please Stella your Red Pen is highly appreciated and male bvs please advice me if it's normal for you men or I am just getting annoyed over nothing.
Thank Stella...
Thank Stella...
*Madam why are you standing behind his back 24/7 watching his every move?that is even worse than snooping on him....don't you have Job?are you no busy?Why make your 24hours all about what someone else does?I don't get it,if his brain has not reset that he married you and he wants to be watching his ex all day,will your nagging change him?NO...
Maybe you should get busy and ignore him cos if he will cheat,he will!!!
Stop nagging and look for another way to handle it if you think its a problem...
Let me end with..it is your type that the husband will get back from work and sit in the car for hours wondering if he should go in or not!!!
If you leave advising her and come after me cos i shook your table,na you sabi!!
You knew what you were getting into before you married him. A man that's not yet over his ex.
ReplyDeleteYou should have allows him to go and settled with his type in of woman because you're not his type and he won't stop stalking his ex soon.
Don't let him kill your self esteem o and don't bleach your skin to please anybody. My advice.
Don said all I have in mind, spot on
DeletePoster, see even though it hurts like mad,try and ignore him,policing him wont change anything rather it will worsen it and it will make him wiser in hiding it.
DeleteConcentrate on your job or business,do what you are to do and look beautiful for yourself alone so that this situation wont drag your self esteem on the floor.
If he wants to change, let him change for HIMSELF and not for you,if not ........
What he is doing is wrong!!!
DeleteI don't blame you for observing it. Your instincts are right that's why you always know when he does it.
Many men love to marry *not their type* so they will drag your self esteem to infinity while messing around.
It is time to take a firm but hard decision. Do you really wish to proceed in building a home with this man or you wish to abort mission ontime?
If you wish to stay back, it's time to develop a new strategy! Throw in a different you. Stop being regular*. Keep him guessing on you. Let there be something about you racing up his blood pressure.
Since fair ladies keep him on his toes, show him a black lady can keep him on his knees!!!
In all this, be clean (don't do anything bad to avoid blemishes on you). But act like you got a plan b game. Be a little serious and unserious on it. Just like a movie actress (she kisses on scene but can't say she has had a kiss with the person).
I just hope you can understand the gist in this comment!
Somersault his brains and hold your control key! You have the power in you!!!
He will respect himself with time...
You can also start talking endlessly about your own ex. Make up stories and be showing your own genuine concern.
Mirror back sometimes is the ONLY language African men understand.
All the best
Mirror Back Technique -The brain resetter since 1552
DeleteTruly many men cannot take what they give
DeleteMine cheated and cheated and cheated ehhhh....
I wan craze..I talked threatened cried begged and nothing changed
By the time I started disappearing for hours on end with my mobile switched off (I disappeared to my siblings houses) guy man started monitoring me upanddan
If he opens his exes Facebook open your exes own on a laptop and play soapy "I miss you " R&B Songs while staring at your laptop .
DO THIS EVERY EVENING
Make we see who go 1st craze
STOP COMPLAINING AND DO BACK
Nonsense and picture
Who told you that many men dint like to marry their type?
DeleteYou're just saying what you can't have you with fact.
I want to laugh but this isn't a laughing matter. This isn't a Hollywood film, this is real life. Poster, if you try what Anon 17:46 is suggesting, you will just find yourself divorced. If that's your aim, go for it. But first, let me explain what some clearly don't get.
DeleteApart from the fact that playing mind games is a bit stupid, look well at the man you're going to be pulling this stunt with, oh. A man with much less to lose than you. Lol. See the rough play you want to start that you can't finish.
Only a woman who knows and is taking advantage of the fact that she is a man's first and preferred choice can get away with doing some things. And even then, you don't know when the man will snap and take back his mumu button. But you want to pretend to be interested in your ex to pepper a man who can go and sleep peacefully when you're upset? It will not end in praise for you, oh!
See eh, only God can deliver a person from what they like. Someone that loves jollof will keep looking for it, no matter how good coconut rice is. It's not the fault of the coconut rice. That's why some people use juju to manipulate the will of others. There's virtually nothing a dark woman can do to permanently hold the attention of a man who loves fair ladies, or vice versa. It's not an "intelligence vs dumb slay queen" issue that can keep a man on his toes.
Don avoid my comments! I DON'T like your mindset on women and makes me not to equally like the persona behind that moniker! Please DON'T bother replying me ever again! Hope we are clear on that? Good!
DeleteReal OA, if you are a woman, unfortunately you are still LOST to yourself.
DeleteWhen you truly discover yourself and all the strengths you have in YOU as a woman, you will know God was really partial when he created women and that's why men decided to lean on their physical strengths to oppress y'all so you never wake up your powers!
She CAN get him really worried if she wants! It will take her TIME yes; but if she puts her heart to it, she will succeed. It DOESN'T matter if he likes fair or not. Sometimes NOBODY knows what they truly want until they try what they never knew existed!
Poster you can DO this if you have made up your mind to stay back.
All the best
Anon 18:25, real resetter! It DOES wonders!
DeleteAnon 18:38.
DeleteExactly what I was talking about!
They DON'T take what they dish.
You have to get his blood pressure real up! That's the only language they obey.
If you keep crying, he will be laughing at your foolishness and getting high on your weakness.
The way men treat wives sometimes is like that pretty dress beneath your box you claim to cherish but NEVER touch. The day someone wants to take it (you probably haven't used it in 3yrs o) you start fuming and wanting it back.
That's how you handle men. And during that fuming time, you set your home how YOU want it. Dem no born am well not to oblige
Anon 23:40 I am a woman. However, I know from experience that it is not wokeness or finding myself to manipulate people or situations I shouldn't have been near in the first place. I'm an Esther, NOT a Jezebel.
DeletePeople will do nonsense, say it's having power, waste your life cos you cannot control anyone forever, it will backfire and you start from square one. Wetin you come gain?
My husband and I are soulmates. I haven't told him this but I REGRET every second I spent with men I dated before my husband; men I didn't even sleep with! If I knew then what I know now, I would have waited. I remember with my first boyfriend, I liked the guy and actually prayed he would ask me out. I'm not sure now between God and the devil, which one actually answered me but guy asked me out. I'm sure he liked me at least a bit but I manipulated his will with my prayers & felt like I was powerful cos there was my proof! Guess what? I spent the ENTIRE 11 months and 1 week of relationship (yes, I counted) praying cos I never felt peace. The guy wasn't a bad person; he was just someone else's future husband! I had crossed paths with my own husband by this time but cos I didn't recognise him or trust God enough, I had to be a boss in control of herself and go manipulate someone else's husband! I was the one that broke up with him cos when you hold up something belonging to another, you will have to release it at some point. But deception of the highest order had helped me waste almost a year of my life.
A form of that deception is what is now plaguing EVERYONE who is stupid enough to get into the New Age cos that's what the thing you wrote, amounts to. Glorification of New Age crap. "I am all powerful so can do/be/control anything I decide". I lol & SMH at the arrogant stupidity of such a mindset. This is how we slide into witchcraft without knowing. You will use your own time/body/money to arrange and lubricate DOA relationships and situations that will drain you and still crash, cos... woke. Who told you that your head is even correct to presume you should go resetting another person's brain? Who gave you the permission?
You cannot decide to behave anyhow and manipulate everyone without repercussions; God is too clever to allow life work like that. But human beings right from Adam, must learn the hard way cos we must "be like God".
Original poster, if you are reading this, pray to God for mercy. That mercy may manifest as the end of the situation you arranged for yourself and called a marriage (so that you can be freed for someone who will treasure you). Or God might grant you favour in the eyes of the man YOU call a husband and he will love you. That a pastor made pronouncements over you, doesn't mean God joined you together. Please, don't try any more manipulative stunts; you will just be prolonging what you may discover is inevitable and you won't like the result.
The Real OA; nope you are the jezebel NOT an Esther at all!!!
DeleteA true Esther will understand my comment without moving about in bitterness fishing what is not in the comment to appear righteous!
Nobody has asked anyone to do what is wrong here; so what are you on and on about?
Men were not raised to truly understand women's feelings except a few. When they are not truly getting what is happening, you give them a little disguised taste so as to understand your pain. What da fuck is wrong in that hanty church secretary? You rather keep suffering??? I just can't with some of y'all I swear.
If your man was your soulmate like you are claiming, you woulda been the FIRST to understand that comment.
But as it seems you chose the slave and die to prove feminity route, you want to force others into that train. There are OTHER ways to solve issues that are bound to occur in marriages or relationships (soulmate or not)
Even the bible you are referencing told you it is better to put absolute confidence in God than to put confidence in man!
What exactly is peppering you? You feel she chanced the fair girl or what? Why not take this anger to the man? You want her to be miserable for life while you enjoy yours (if u truly do o) abi? And you dare mention Esther you hypochrist? You are a Jezebel hiding under the cloak of Christianity. Step aside when REAL women talk you slave from slaversbay*.
And what we are is called ENLIGHTENED not WOKE hanty! Remain in 432 BC ALONE. No envies at all from this end!
I am Anonymous 18.38
DeleteThe mirror back technique worked for me and my home is at complete peace
People are entitled to what works for them.
Do you and let them do theirs!
As usual, the man did not hide his preference for fair ladies even before you married him.
ReplyDeleteYou made the choice.
Now you have turned policewoman and jumper (into conclusion) all in one?
😮😮😮
Is your name chioma or did you win Olympic gold medal for Nigeria in long jumping into conclusions?
From your narration, there is little or no trust in this marriage right from inception. Even the "pastor" knew this and echoed it.
What I did not read (since I assume you both are Christians) is the place of God in this union?
Believers find it easy to chant "Jesus is my LOrd and personal savior..." but in very personal matters, you turn your backs on him
and make no inquiry, have no relationship, just make your own choices and life goes on?
Okwa ajuju o.
Nne, do not scatter your home with our bare hands.
Allow time and take time to communicate to him how you feel he might betray you with "fair ladies" and listen to him... That is if you
really know and understand the temperament of whom you married.
This marriage was not based on unconditional love.
DeleteIt was based on second choice/afterthought and this lady knows it.
You have to live with this habit of his for now.
What you did not tell us is why he did not marry that ex of his.
And you failed to ask her husband why he married her knowing fully well that she is dark and he likes fair ladies?
Delete‘ As usual, the man did not hide his preference for fair ladies even before you married him.
DeleteYou made the choice.’
HE ALSO MADE A CHOICE. You guys should stop blaming her for his behavior, all these team ‘you should have known all before marriage’
Madam poster, do you know how to ignore? Please ignore, and prepare for the worst by making sure you are independent on all levels. He doesn’t even respect you enough to show some remorse, that’s lower than low.
Ignore him and live your life. Keep your eyes peeled so you know when he takes it too far, and when you should take more drastic measures.
Some men are just not it. 😡
@Mystic and Princess
DeleteBikonu allow me to talk to my fellow lady that wrote us
The husband did not write us
Yes, the man makes a proposal, the lady accepts or rejects.
The lady decides if marriage should take place
The ladies decide if sex should take place
The ladies decide if a baby in the womb shall live or not
We ladies have been entrusted with a lot of decision making
It is a pity that some of you quash this authority on the altar of pittance and
peanuts and unfounded and vain sentiments.
Ngwa gbabazia nu uta unu -shoot your arrows ... 😊😊
You girls are unreasonably sentimental. Is the husband a blog visitor?
DeleteI’m sure you got married just to have the Mrs title dear poster and now it has dawned on you that he never loved you and never will.youre just a second choice.oh life!😭
DeleteIf he likes fair ladies, why did he approach this lady in the first place? Again did he tell his wife that he does not like dark ladies from the onset?
DeletePrincess, are you dark?
DeleteJust asking
Blessed princess, he probably approached her to chop and clean mouth but he got hooked and went with it. Marriage wasn't his intention from the get go with woman he eventually married.
DeleteOr she has other wifely qualities he decided to overlook marrying a light skin woman for thinking he would be able to cope. But the heart wants what it wants.
Hahahahahahahahaha
DeleteStellar don't talk am finish. Madam get busy and stop the monitoring abeg. If you are bothered about his behavior go on your knees and scatter his interest. You can't change a man's behaviour God can. Use prayer and shape him to what you want before Satan will scatter your marriage for you. Be wise as serpent and harmless as a dove.
ReplyDeleteEvery time go on your knees!
DeleteWill going on her knees make her fair??? Or will it change the guys preference from fair ladies to dark ones???
Abeg talk something else!
Ask Toke. She'll tell you what to do. He doesn't love you cause he's not even showing remorse or trying to assuage your worries.
DeleteWicked man. All those calling her jobless, I hope you can condone the same in your home? The man is a child!
Your husband is still in love with his ex.
ReplyDeleteHe’s into fair ladies.
Doing that is very disrespectful..
Stand your ground and ask him to stop it.
If he doesn’t, you too look for an ex to look up always and make sure he knows about it.
Sometimes give these men exact treatment they give you.
Woman there's nothing wrong in your worries. It shows how concerned you are in your marriage. Forget about the people that will come here to blame you and all that, a good number of them may not be married and won't understand your feelings and fear. Some who are married may even do worse than you but will be here to blame you.
DeleteIf you are the one checking on your ex this way, I bet you, by now families would have convene a meeting if at all your face aren't swollen by oga beatings.
Most men will give out what they can't take themselves. It's high time we start encouraging women to act quickly and on good time in marriages than advocating for them to be tolerant. How many men have you seen or heard forgives their cheating wife when caught in the act? But we will advice women to condone men's act. Is it that marriage is a do or die something or what?
Madam, if your husband still looks outside or fantasize about his ex that's married, there's no form of disrespect that's greater than this. It's a subtle way of saying he's not proud about his marriage to you. But I will advice you not to pick a quarrel with him. Just look for a way to get your groove and pretend you don't know what he's doing. Make him to suspect your moves while doing nothing and keep him thinking. I bet you no man will stomach the thought of a young guy riding his wife. It's their ego.
Start planning ahead for the future in case of any eventuality, and don't make the mistake of being at the receiving end in a fallout. A man that will cheat will always cheat. There's no two ways about it.
@Teejay very good talk...Its very annoying...Some men need to grow up..
Delete@Teejay, so on point. This is bull crappie. This man here is so unreasonable cos he won't take it if it's the other way around. Very unfair of him. Madame, just chanel your energy to something that will make you happy if not you'll implode. Yeye man
DeleteI agree with Teejay. Men cant take what they cant give. I was once like you poster but an incident toughened me up. My husband went as far as changing his password. I decided to ignore. One day after a few weeks after changing his password he complained that why didn't i charge his phone for him I said i dont touch your phone anymore so i didn't see the point in charging it; he ignored me. Another time he wanted me to send a message with his phone i opted to type it up on my phone then send it to him to copy and paste. On two separate occasions he gave me the hint to the password for both his phones I said dont bother I will forget plus I use my brain for something else he was shocked.
DeleteMy point is you can never be as paranoid as me but try to channel your energy to something else act like you dont care, look up other blokes if you can and keep looking good while doing it
Well done Teejay. Points nicely rendered👏.
DeleteChai..and it will end in cheating..He will still cheat..It is painful that someone you love does not reciprocate same to you..You both exchanged vows but he still chose to look outside..My dear its painful but you have to channel your Inspector Bediako skills on yourself..Indulge yourself in your hobbies and pray for your husband,respect him..Still be that dutiful wife and stop hovering him like a hawk..Behave like you don't give a damn at all..If issue still persists, you decide your next step...All the best...
ReplyDeleteSDK Habahhhhhh your point is hashhhhhhhh the lady is down already and you served her that 🖕🏼
ReplyDeleteMadam try check on the lady too apart from skin she got and you don't have is she slim? Is she a tush babe, eg a babe that wear jeans and look nice, try and check other attributes she got apart from skin color because i will not advice u to bleach.
Sorry to say but your hubby ain't really into you😘
I seriously believe one of the worst things a person(male or female ) can do is to marry someone you know is not over their ex. They always end up carrying them with you. Always hanging like a portrait in the living room. Its the first thing you see when you come in.
ReplyDeleteIf she was the one checking her Ex boyfriends page,would you have told the man he's nagging?We are all human beings with blood running in our veins,the way we react to issues differ.A man is hurting his wife and she's expected to keep quiet since he married her.It shall be well
ReplyDeleteDo I call it low self esteem or inferiority complex, when you already know all these why did you go ahead and marry him later you will now come to disturb us here with your stupid Chronicle. I can never take such shit from any man is either you go back to your ex or we resolve it once and for all before I marry you. You better wise up ignore him and look good pretend like you are also crushing on someone else maybe his brain will reset dont let that stupid attitude of his kill your self esteem dear
ReplyDeleteStella shes doing dat cos his a husband!
ReplyDeleteDear wife I really hope this thing dsnt give u low self esteem oo cos this is what made toke to bleach her skin!cos d ex hubby's side chick was fair.
And how dd u even settle one someone dat LOVES fair ladies?..and also really loves his ex? ..(Okafor's law)
Anyway, just try to calm down n let him be cos if a man wants to cheat, nothing can be done cos it's in his mind. Besides, even if he dsnt cheat with dat his ex, there thousands of fair gals that he can do dat with.
Just calm n give him a break! Just for ur sanity biko.
Find something to do, it will take ur mind off this.
That how my ex never stop talking about how he likes slim ladies, but came to marry me orobo and i suspected of him being gay, how can you tell me you kissed a fellow man but it was harmless kiss chio.
ReplyDeleteI knew he said that, so that when it time, he will start telling me it cos I'm fat that why he not touching me, using that to cover his gay ass.... He was very very rich, comfort was staring me in my eyes but i ran and he married someone in 3months and maybe the girl wasn't smart enough to decode him
You dodged a bullet.
DeleteSeriously you ladies needs to do better about your choice of partners, una go leave better guys like us go dey jam all this good for nothing men, yes I am a man and it disgusts me everytime when I read things about men acting immature and all.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the point of still clingy to your ex I don't get, why get married in the first place...some guys get crazy mind ooo,you are in your matrimonial home and you have the gut and audacity to look at a lady picture not even a lady your ex for that matter and your wife is present no sign of respect for her.
Poster please just try as much as possible to ignore and see it as a cross you have to bear.
Some men needs to do better jare
My own problem is if it is the wife doing same thing we go don bring the whole building down,we can't take what we give.
You said the home truth
DeleteIf your pastor had told you point blank not to marry this man, you may not have listened. When your pastor drew attention to your husband's preference for light-skinned ladies to the extent of voicing out hope that he won't cheat on you with them, why didn't you call off the wedding and look for a man who is looking for your spec? You're not light-skinned, you went and married man who is crazy about that kind of woman. Even worse, you married a man who is still in love with a woman who didn't want him enough to let him wife her. You will be competing with a woman who doesn't even care about your existence, throughout your marriage.
ReplyDeleteGo and pray abeg cos only God can help you at this stage. Go and pray to prevent Toke Makinwa's outcome aka "I bleached cos he likes fair girls but he still cheated with a fair ex."
Do you not exes or hunks to also look at their pictures? All the better if also sees you viewing pictures of sexy guys. If this does not reset his brain then you are definitely in hot soup.
ReplyDeleteGo and bleach your skin and try looking like his ex,he will love you and forget about her.
ReplyDeleteYimu*
Why did you marry a man knowing fully well that you are not his type?
ReplyDeleteThat's a big mistake on your side and the result is exactly what you are seeing today.
My advice is that you ignore him totally and pretend he and his ex doesn't exist, even if you catch him masturbating with her pix, don't worry just focus on anything that gives you peace.
Secondly, never go bleaching to please any man, he will always go back to admire his ex... just take care of yourself and focus on you.
Why will the husband keep watching his ex? Or are you not on Instagram? Why didn't he wait to heal first before getting married? Why didn't he go for fair lady as fair ladies is what he likes?
ReplyDeleteCos a lot of folk tend to hook up with/marry the first available person if the desired one they invested themselves in becomes/remains unavailable for any reason. And if the one they really want suddenly becomes available, marriage don end be that.
DeleteYou're just asking questions instead of advising the poster. The man's not the one that sent in chronicle.
DeleteMadam why will you marry a man that you obviously not his spec? He used you to try to get over his ex & you knew it from day1. You see wahala waka enter am & now you are bothered . There is no going back o,just deal with it madam. One day he will get over her & start appreciating what he has.
ReplyDeleteWorse case he will look for another fair agaracha as side chick.
Hmmm una go dey alright. Always expect the worse o, you can still keep praying for your marriage & horseband.
Mind you poster 50% of married men are in same WhatsApp group with your horseband. They go ahead to marry a lady they are not into cos either ex left them for another or they feel ex is not wife material & hence don't care marrying a 'wife material' with /without feelings...& later they & their wives start telling stories.
Final advice is stop nagging, let Jim be, channel your energy on other things that can make you happy,while you keep telling God what you want.
I must marry nah! Carry your cross!
ReplyDelete@Naija girls
ReplyDeleteUna see that last sentence wey Sdk yarn up there?
That one is real o
Dude go drive reach gate and turn back go beer parlor or find side chickens because
im get nagging tiger at home 😮😮😮
Make una shoot arrows 🏹🏹give sdk too
make ya comments zap enter that "sperm bank" 😊😊😊
cracked cd
DeleteYou have 2 options,choose wisely.
ReplyDelete1.Ignore him,his preference for fair ladies and his obsession with his ex,have your babies and transfer all your love to them.If you are idle,get a job or do something meaningful with your time.
2.File for divorce over his preference for fair women(pastor can attest to that)and move on with your life.
The decision is yours to make.
divorce? u are kidding.
Deletemen are scarce.
association of terrible Men.president
Pinklady your comment is everything ❤
DeletePinkLady and Stella thank you. Poster just follow their advice and don't become a frustrated wife.
Deletewhat he is doing is not normal and it is worst because he is not remorseful. He is still inlove with his ex and he doesnt have respect for you. Sit him down, ask him why he married you. Ask him how will he feel if he sees you always checking on your ex page on social media. Na wah for some men.
ReplyDeletePoster don't try this o. Don't sit him down anything. You will lose your value before him. If you have admirers indirectly put it in his face. Let him find out one way or another that men are chasing you. Tell those gifts companies to send you a bouquet of flowers and a love note to you as if it's an admirer. If you get liver send am to your house if not, your office will do but snap it and show him Jesus you naija women don't understand seduction that's why loose runs girls keep stealing your husbands.
DeleteHmmm I'm somewhat in this position o.i need advice .My own case is different because my fiance said it in the begining that he admired dark ladies but I'm light skinned and he still loves me and he doesn't seem to have a problem with that.As a matter of fact I know he loves me genuinely n gushes about me .Are you saying ill be making a mistake marrying him.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, I'm sure they've started selling tanning cream in Nigeria that you can use. If not, try bronzer. Or the bougie spas in Lagos or Abuja must have tanning bed and saunas; they cannot be expensive for nothing. Just budget well. You don't have problem. Yet.
DeleteChoi......see question🙄🙄🙄
DeleteThe poster's husband loves her too even though she wasn't light skinned.
Now the narrative is different.
SDK blog is an avenue to learn and be tutored don't make a mistake you'll live your whole life regretting.
Your chronicles are on the way to this blog. We are waiting.
DeleteYpu should get a job....real job. If you have, add more. Shioor
ReplyDeleteI think I know your husband or maybe I think I do and I am referring to someone else. He loves flashy women too much. If he is the same person I know. Then They use fair women swear for him. To think he is not even fair but very dark skinned.
ReplyDeleteHe settled and you settled for each other, but neither of you were truly wowed by each other. The marriage was just something to so, cross off the list of life goals and that is what this marriage is. I am sorry that you are in a marriage without passion, and one where you know you are not the queen in your husband's eyes. I am sorry you had to marry a man that does not set you fire, in any meaningful way except to annoy you. You have both accepted to live mediocre lives with each other for the sake of marriage, so just go along for the ride and make the best of it.
ReplyDeletejust worship him.
ReplyDeletehe is a king.
he is a man
hahaha Chronic Joker
DeletePoster your husband and the lady are still seeing each other that's why he keeps checking up on her on Instagram, this goes beyond the fair complexion saga. Snoop properly and brace your heart for impact.
ReplyDeleteI'll read comments.
ReplyDeleteMadam you set don't you have exes and admirers. Don't you know that a good way to show a person you are undesirable is to be policing them. Another way is to express your love . immediately to them. Even if they love you the love will reduce. Even if you don't have admirers pretend you do. When men call you laugh out loud. When watching Idris elba, Jim iyke and Chris hemsworth praise their six packs and handsomeness that that is what you would have settled for. It is psychological. No one wants to be pursued not even fowl. They want to be the pursurer that is why we give fowl corn to catch it. When you are dating someone and you make it known directly or indirectly that their physical attribute doesn't attract you they will do more to please you because they know they ain't shit. Leave your hubby alone and lure him to pursue.
ReplyDeleteBrain will not kill you for me anon 18:22.
DeleteChop kiss
Her husband won't be bothered cos
Delete1) Those three men you listed up there are not the same physical type, so he'll know she's just fronting
2) Those men are unattainable to her, he knows it. Many women don't lose sleep if their husbands think about Beyonce or JLo cos chances of their men ever meeting (not to talk of having anything to do with) these women are pretty non-existent. The person that isn't as fine as Beyonce but is reachable or attainable, is a different case.
She's not undesirable cos of what she's doing, although her actions are probably irritating him. The main problem is she's not his spec. This thing you're calling policing is what the same man will call "TLC" if it comes from a woman that is his spec.
Poster you accepted him knowing fully well he love fair ladies, did has been done. Prayers, supplications and Thanksgiving make your request known onto God.
ReplyDeleteIs their anyone who doesn't check on their ex lovers on social media? UR HUSBAND IS NOT CHEATING AT ALL AT ALL. U are feeling too jealous and insecure for no just reason.
ReplyDeleteIf I click on search on my Facebook page, it's always unending list of my exes. It has nothing to do with the love I have for my wife at all. I don't chat with any of them and some are not even my friend on Facebook.
I check to know how they are fairing in life generally. I am always happy for their happiness, sometimes I mayreminisce on our past sexual activities But I have no feelings whatsoever for them exes.
Will you shut up?! Fool.My exes do not exist to me.Any day you see ex for my phone...know I am cheating
DeleteTrying to change your spouse’s habits post marriage should be termed a mental illness. If you saw this during courtship and still went ahead, you should see a shrink.
ReplyDeleteTo be clear, what he’s doing is not healthy, but knowing he does this and still going ahead to marry him regardless and then squeezing face like prawn crackers is madness.
No offence. 🤨
Sorry if you all can tolerate your husbands checking on thier exes, I cannot. First and second warning, that house will not contain both of us.in fact he will be the one looking to amend amendments. How about you go start checking on your ex? Even if you don't have, fake one.
ReplyDeleteYou lot are here blaming her for a man's bad character, women don suffer dor this world but no be me. Yes I'm married and my husband knows I won't tolerate auch bullshit in our home.
Please one question I have for married couples here- Are you all your partner's specs and are your partners your specs ? I believe it's not one cap fits all.Some married Men irrespective of whether they marry their spec or not 'll still cheat.Sometimes we don't find love in our ' spec" and vice versa.Many a times True love is beyond the looks
ReplyDeleteYour husband is a muthaf**ker and you aint smart at all by getting married to him.
ReplyDelete