Truly we learn new things daily... that is if we choose to anyway. So I have my own school of thoughts but then I am open to opinions and experiences of others.
I had a brief chat with a close friend who shared a concern with me. She's happily married but lately noticed her younger brother and her hubby's younger sister have been sneaking around.
She said her suspicion was followed by a warning to her younger brother who denied anything of such. These two are in seperate institutions and would come over to spend some weekends at her place.
The warning came after she said she swore she heard sexual moans coming from her brother's bedroom but she was quite unsure if she should open the door or not.
She told me how worried she feels discussing with her hubby and his possible reaction to her younger brother who he happens to be very fond of at the moment. I am not exactly sure if 'brothers' would 'smile' at such revelation about their 'supposed' innocent sister.
I asked about the sister in law's disposition, she claimed the girl was quite coded and very good at covering her tracks.
She asked if it was ok to go through their stuffs when no one is home. I wasn't exactly sure if my 'Hell No' stare would make any difference!
This got me really worried and I imagined myself in this shoe.
Would I discuss with hubby?Call sister in law to order and receive possible insults? Re-warn my brother again and be tagged a witch hunter? Or call my parents to intervene and split the family into halves? Is this even allowed in some traditions? I know it is wrong in mine and same as hers. I was as confused as her.
Na Me
Amebo
Let her confront both younger brother and hubby younger sister..What kin of rubbish is this...It is totally wrong...
ReplyDeleteI think the brother is old enough to know how much Pampers and cerelac is sold in the market presently,madam warn your brother and report him to your mother,don't let the whole family member know,cos he will feel insulted.as for your husband, don't let him know he will always choose his blood over anything,so he might start resenting your brother,since they think there sister is innocent,the whole blame will be on ur brother.be guilded act with wisdom biko
ReplyDeleteShe needs to be absolutely sure before making any confrontations. Set trap for them and they fall and she is sure, confront your brother sternly with harsh warnings and tell your husband to call the sister to order. She could also tell her mom go talk to her brother but first she has to be sure she is right.
ReplyDeleteIt's not allowed in my tribe. We believe that your inlaw is your sibling/relative. Sleeping with them is a taboo
ReplyDeleteMy own is my younger sister and my husband's younger brother did that sneaking around for festive season which resulted in a baby boy come September. They never even got into a relationship. The boy is 9 now and the cause of many family fights as my sister wants to raise her child herself and my husband's people are having none of it. My parents where devastated. But it is well. The child is doing well amid the confusion. See what illicit sex caused.
DeleteLet your friend read the comment of Anon 14:03 very well. She should set trap for them and let her husband, some members of his family and some members of her own family catch her brother and her sister-in-law. Doing drink water and keep cup in this issue is what will end your friend's own marriage. She will be shook!
DeleteTaboo ke? How? My 2 aunties r married to one man.
DeleteAm I the only one confused as to why this is wrong?? I mean, apart from the obvious sin of fornication, if twin sisters can get married to twin brothers, what is wrong with your husband's sibling and yours being in a relationship? After all, they as individuals are not related to each other. Or is it prohibited in some cultures? Please enlighten me.
ReplyDeleteI follow you confuse
DeleteIt's prohibited in some cultures, oh! It's like marrying your first cousin.
DeleteLike I'm very very confuse too...i don't see any big deal in this
DeleteI am also very confused
Deletetaboo in my culture
DeleteNa kids dem be? no.. are they related by blood? no.. abegi
ReplyDeleteThis is so wrong in my culture because they feel it is not healthy since you are already inlaw's.I detest it with a passion and does not sit well with me.They are many families in Nigeria they should go to that one.Na wa
ReplyDeleteIt's wrong on all grounds, she should call her brother and parents . She should sort it out amongst them ..
ReplyDeleteYou mean under my own roof? Hmm, even if they did it outside and I found out, heads would row. How can my blood be fucking the same blood, how? Not even marriage oooh. Under my roof, that is absolutely wrong.
ReplyDeleteI personally don't think it is wrong. I am one of those ppl who believes blood has to be shared for something like this to be a taboo. However, if it is a taboo in your culture then you will have to address it. They are young, so know how you handle this so it doesn't break their spirits. Also be prepared to lose one of them, they may never show up for family gatherings or occasions where they would run into each other, because it would be too uncomfortable. Nobody will really win in this situation if your intuition proves correct.
ReplyDeleteI don't see anything wrong with two consenting young adults having sex. I honestly doubt you can stop them. Yea, they are disrespecting you by having sex under your roof. Stop monitoring them, they are probably in " love". Telling your husband may lead to the end of your marriage, his younger sister is a saint to him and his family. They are likely going to blame your brother. Why not ask your younger brother to go back to your parents house.
ReplyDeleteThe only way to save your marriage is to ask your brother to leave. Make sure he is comfortable
Na waoo.
ReplyDeleteI see everything wrong with two unmarried adults having sex in my home. If i were you, i would ask my brother and warn him sternly.
ReplyDeleteBut that's me. Your values may be different.
In truth, I don't want anyone having sex in my home, not even the married guests who come over for a visit. Some ppl think because they are married they can get down anyhow in someone's house, go rent a room by the hour or whatever to do your deed. Have sex under your own roof.
DeleteWow, anon 22:27, even a married couple can't have sex under your roof?!? I know that you don't know it but you are WICKED. It's your type that feels that your guests must clean your house, wash your clothes and eat one piece of meat a day...
DeleteWhy am I wicked because I don't want anyone having sex under my roof? Go rent a hotel room and knock yourself out if you must have sex, but there is no reason for any decent human being to be having sex under anyone else's roof. Sit and think about it. If you and your husband visit relatives or friends for two or even three weeks, you cannot forgo sex for that period of time? This is not a married or unmarried issue, it's a principles issue. You expect your hosts to wash the sheets and towels for you after that? No matter how close I am to anyone I am not that close that I want to see their dried sex fluids on my sheets and towels or smell their personal odours, and be expected to clean them. Not even my maid can wash my sheets or towels, or my husband's or mine underwear, because there are some lines that should never be crossed, I do the laundry for all of our personal items. Have some pride and dignity about yourself. There is NO reason to go under anyone else's roof and have sex, none! Being married does not void you of common sense or personal dignity.
DeleteThese people are not related whatsoever, I need to understand what is wrong if they date or get married. Please face front and drink water abeg.
ReplyDeleteThis story up there made my aunt send her younger sis packing when she began suspecting kurukere moves in her home. She said she did not want anyone destroying her home. Today both sis are cool.
ReplyDeletewell it is not a taboo in my culture.
ReplyDeleteI know an aunt whose brother in law married her younger sister.
nothing wrong about this since they are unrelated by blood, imho. the risk i see here is that if things don't work out between them the fallout might scatter the marriage of their older siblings.
ReplyDelete