STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFESSIONS OF A JEALOUS FRIEND
Hello Stella,
Is it ok for a friend to stop following you on social media because your posts make her jealous? I’m asking because it’s happening to me now.
Hello Stella,
Is it ok for a friend to stop following you on social media because your posts make her jealous? I’m asking because it’s happening to me now.
I noticed she wasn’t following anymore and asked her why since we were still cool and I don’t remember any issues neither do I post extreme things. She apologised to me and said it was because she felt jealous seeing my posts of travelling to different places.
She said she loves me and felt it was better for her to unfollow me so the little jealousy doesn’t result to hate. I was so confused and didn’t know what to say as this is someone I’ve known to be a good friend for years.
Has anyone experienced this and how did they deal with it please?
Thanks
Awwwwwww...I feel really bad reading this.....
Thanks
Awwwwwww...I feel really bad reading this.....
She is a good friend for telling you the truth....Please look for away to meet with her and have a heart to heart to talk with her...things are prolly bad with her and thats why she feels this way....If God has blessed you,you will have the time to be envious of another person's blessngs......
Yes she is a honest person. Leave her alone to deal with her emotions the way she wants.
ReplyDeleteAnother slay queens chronicle. SM followership means the whole world to them. So shallow you lost sight of what your friends true plight might be.
DeleteA close friend deleted all her wedding pictures after I posted mine, reason; she doesn't want people to compare the 2 weddings, she couldn't attend my wedding cos she just put to bed, but up till now, she only congratulated me plainly.
DeleteWhen we went to deliver my Aso-ebi lace to her, she bad mouth it and said it's some old, but guess what? It was that my wedding lace she wore in the morning of her naming ceremony, when she noticed I was around, she went to change to another clothes.
I hardly post on SM, I can't allow someone to kill me with jealousy.
Madam poster, be grateful she told you, there are many people silently angry with your posts, please limit how you post on SM
*Larry was here*
Her type is so rare, ehya... she knows she's already having a negative emotion and is preventing it from growing. Wow! What a good hearted lady she is
DeleteStart larry, to think you call her your close friend. I say this all the time, all this bestie everywhere. It's only you who know who you are a best friend to but you don't know who is a best friend to you. She had to delete her wedding pictures because she was inferior. Waoh, just waoh! Too many petty and envious friends around.
DeleteCongratulations Starry Larry on your wedding, ẹyin Ìyàwó oni meni lágbára Ọlọ́run. Laipe awa yọ ayọ̀ ọmọ.
DeletePoster I see your friend as a good person. One, she was truthful with you. Two, she is trying to take care of her emotional health which is good. I don't get your grouse. If sincerely you are not trying to pepper people and show off online, then happily do you and allow others do themselves. This social media thing is not by force. I get astounded when people freak out by not being liked, followed, friended, unfriended etc. I mean people take the make belief world too seriously. How about taking real life more seriously and concentrating on real friendships and relationships.
DeletePoster, o don’t think this lady has any ill will towards you, if anything, she’s a good friend. She’s just protecting her mental health cos she noticed her mind was beginning to get blinded by such posts; they probably made her feel like she wasn’t doing enough and she might lose her joy of thankfulness if she continued.
DeletePersonally, I feel happy when I get on SM and my friends we doing tray.. but then my focus on life right now is different. My son has a chronic illness and when it gets hard, I stay away from FB, because of all those sudden posts of people dying that bombard your senses unexpectedly. That’s me protecting my mental health.
You should appreciate her
She’s a good friend, imagine another friend who follows and dislikes you for your posts. This one is honest and understands that you are not the cause of her problem but that she needs to sort out her issues personally, so unfollowing you is understandable.
ReplyDeleteMaybe keep her more up to date with your life so she doesn’t know and hear what’s going on from your posts on social media. Also, ask her what’s going on in her life and stay up to date. Jealousy can be healthy if channeled well.
So she is your friend and you travel to many places and never ever took her along?
ReplyDeleteWhat type of friend does not share with her friends?
This girl is not a hypocrite.
She doesn't have to. What if she can only afford ticket for one person?
DeleteIs this supposed to be a joke? Alright you have been noticed. Entitled people everywhere and I am not the poster by the way.
DeleteShe doesn't owe the babe nada.
DeleteWhat's this one saying?
DeleteAs if she owes her friend anything how many help have you rendered to your friend!! So if her bf buys her ticket he should also buy for her friend . You be ole. Run far from that friend so she doesn’t poison you for nothing.@anon stupid 15.09
DeleteDrop this mentality please, her friend is not ENTITLED to her vacations...
DeleteAnonymous15.09
DeleteShe said abroad not going to Osodi market or Katangwa market .....
How many of your friends have you taken abroad for free ? Please .
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteNa them!!! 👆🏽
I had a friend like you. Being friends with her was like being in a relationship. She wanted my life. Everything I did she wanted to do but with my money. God knows I tried but no matter what I did it wasn't enough.
DeleteShe wanted to fo to places I went to, eat what I eat, wear what I wear despite that she couldn't afford it. Anon 15.9 with this statement of yours I am sure you are like her, if not you wouldn't have asked the poster why she couldn't take her along knowing fully well, she has to pay for her ticket fee, food etc all the time.
We went to the fashion store, I picked a dress and a bag to go with it this same friend did the same when it was time to pay she couldn't. I couldn't pay for two so I asked she returned one out of the item. Till we got home she ignored my questions, carried face and didn't even say thank you for the shoes. If you buy something worth 200k for yourself and something worth 180k former just 20k difference. You are in trouble she will give you attitude, look at you with evil and hatred in her eyes. It wasn't long I realised I was dealing with a narcissist. This was someone who didn't have an accommodation and I took in out of compassion.
Anyways, because if people like you, anon 15:09, I vowed never to make friends with people who lack he same financial capacity as me. They won't have but still be demanding like it's their birthright.
Poster I would advise you do the same, from your post it's easy to tell you are financially well off than your friend else as you are travelling places cshe wouldn't have an issue with it because she also has he money to go places with you. Avoid her. You are not responsible for her problem. I am sure there are people more comfortable than you are who's success do not trouble you poster, because no matter how rich you are there are other friends who have more and you didn't died or feel threatened. The only way that friend of yours will feel happy as if you are underneath the her and that won't happen. Don't make yourself small to make others feel better. Continue to post your usual photos. How she feels is her problem let her deal with it.
God bless you @17:59 No matter how well-off one is, there are people that have more. So if someone is jealous of me, do they know who I have the capacity to be jealous of and I'm not being so? Its just some form of silliness and frankly, like I said in a comment I made below, such people are insatiable. When you enable them, under the guise of 'care and concern' they keep inching in. Everybody can be jealous of someone because someone our there will always have something you don't. The world is too big for someone to focus on one person and marinate in what they have/are or whatever.
DeleteGod knows... alot of people who are financially well-off than I am call me arrogant cos I dont give a flying f**k what anyone has/is. I'm hustling, I'm praying, my own will come. Just shift first.
Sometimes this over-humility sef is a problem on it's own. When you have something and you're trying to be humble to those that dont have it, they even forget who you are. It takes the grace of God for them to not mess you up and disrespect you. And best believe if the reverse were the case, they cant even sniff the humble pie you are eating everyday. Abeg, let's all learn to manage our good and bad emotions and be mindful of the next person as we progress in life.
17:59,I agree with you to an extent. Whenever you spot a friend with entitlement mentality run for dear life. I agree that they are usually insatiable and hardly grateful and they are always competing. Where I tend to disagree is that it is about how financially well off they are. It is more of an innate thing, a character flaw that runs deep. You have not met financially well off people that act same?
DeleteAs to the poster, this example does not apply to your case. I see nothing wrong with your friend.
Wen u want to travel ur own go with all your village people
DeleteBABSY
The manifestation of an enemy of progress.
ReplyDeleteAny 'friend' that's jealous of your glory is not a true friend to start with.
It's good she even told you. Please deal with her with a long pole.
Jealousy breeds many vices abeg.
You uttered my thoughts. I honestly do not like people who gets jealous when things go well for you. I guess it's because I don't have a single jealous bone in my body so I don't understand that ill feeling. When good things happen to my friends I use them as a point of contact rather that God should see to my own life too. How can you be praying for something which you know of hers are praying for and God grant it to them and the next reaction is jealousy, instead of going to God in prayer and thanking him for answering them and also reminding him to answer you too in similar fashion?
DeletePoster avoid her. You's should even thank God who pushed her to tell you her mind. So her being jealous is going to make her life better? Funny enough I am sure her life is not that bad.
I had a friend in back then who was envious of everyone that I wondered how she slept at night. When she has a good grade I celebrate with her, could even go as far as buying drinks because the even the Bible say rejoice with those who rejoice. Her success was my success. But when I have a good grade she acts moody towards me, doesn't congratulate me and tries to change the topic instantly when I showed her my result like she always did with me and I praised her. It happened a lot of times and I was disappointed I wasn't getting the same reaction I gave her from her towards me. If she sees a random stranger wearing an engagement ring she would laugh and say see she went and bought it and placed it n her finger and she doesn even know the person one on one. She always seemed attentive when I relate bad news to her but when it good news she blocks it out and tries her possible best to change the topic. Until one day she told me mistakenly with her mouth that if she doesn't have anything good thing, then nobody must have it. She said that is how she always feel. That as the last day I spoke to her. Because I know the God I serve a lot of good things will come my way whether she likes it or not and I don't want negative vibes around me.
Too many envious people in this world. gosh!
Period @Reine.
DeleteJealousy is natural. Even God can be jealous. The issue is being able to control it and nip it at the bud. Anyone who claims never to have been jealous needs a serious check. There are different kinds and levels of jealousy. But the best thing in any human is to be able to recognize your faults and do something about it positively. That is a noble person. Fake people believe they are faultless. They actually drink their own kool-aid and are at home deceiving themselves.
DeleteNa wa. Jealousy is equal to witchcraft. May God deliver her. There are so many friends like that. I appreciate this your friend for acknowledging and verbalizing her jealous mind. She needed to say it out. I clap for her, kpa kpa kpa, she will heal faster. Help her out to overcome that evil spit
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm... this one of me.
DeleteEvil spit?
DeleteWere you the one that spat at her?
Nonsense. Evryone has the ability to be jealous. Including you. If you have ever condemned a celeb before it was out of tiny jealousy that even you couldn't place. If an older child can be jealous of the newborn baby what of adults who toil with little results? Jealousy only becomes bad when people do bad things to the object of their jealousy.
DeleteEveryone has a tendency to be jealous, yes, I understand what you mean. But it should never go past the example you used. But when you ACT on it by ignoring your blessed friend who hasn't done anything to you or by unfollowing someone because of the goodness in their lives then thats witchcraft. The posters friend jealousy has gone beyond the normal one. It has reached the worst stage because she couldn't regulate her negative emotions.jeals people don't wish you well, they want you to fail, want to see you break and cry. It's not good to be around such people.Trust me she already hates the poster.
DeleteYou can be jealous only if it's the good type of jealousy. You know that one where you hope and pray God answers you the way he answered someone? Not spoiling a good relationship because according to you they are achieving what you feel only you deserve.
Bad jealousy__why her, is she the only one, what does she have that I don't have in excess?
Good jealousy__God why me,
remember me too nau, after all the person you blessed doesn't have two heads😁 we both have same number of heads like everyone else and we both you child.
I think she did that for her own sanity and peace. You said she has been a good friend for years. Focus on that and not on some social media followership.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you. You are very sensible.
DeleteA few things;
ReplyDeleteshe told you..
she wasnt disrespectful too or cynical yeah? cause her attitude saying her truth is key..
she removed her bad energy by herself; shes considerate
.. keep her..
visit her/talk with her or just get in touch with her, hear her out ,reaffirm friendship if this is her ist time.. this behaviour is understandable but shouldnt be encouraged, friendship and jealousy dont mix..
That's what social media breeds...jealousy! Most of us are guilty of this without knowing it
ReplyDeleteJealousy is a natural human emotion. Even your mother can be jealous of you. It doesn't mean they always want to harm you. Your friend has shown signs of high emotional intelligence by showing you her vulnerability. But it seems that you feel flattered by it and came in here so that people will tell you how your friend is a secret enemy and further emphasise how you're better than her. Please don't milk the situation and I don't totally agree with what is in the red pen. Do not try to be closer to her or any of that fake emo stuff. If she has shown signs that she wants to be left alone, please respect her wishes.
ReplyDeleteBut you can check up on her from time to time. Like once in 3 months and it should be a short message like this: 👇🏾
Hello *friends name*, how are you doing? Just wanted to check in on you. You don't have to reply if you don't want to but it will be reassuring if you do. Best regards".
Chikena.
Another sensible person. God bless you jare. People generally don't like the truth.
DeleteN.a. wa ooo
ReplyDeleteMy former roommate didn't unfollow me but muted me. When I discovered, I returned the favor.
ReplyDeleteIf something good happens to her and she tells me, I am usually excited for her and I congratulate her. If o share good news with her, she keeps quiet for a few seconds and then says quietly, "I'm happy for you" and seems like she's forcing herself to believe the statement. Sometimes she throws shade like, "this person doesn't know anything and still had an A. And me that studied had a C. She doesn't deserve it, anyway thank God people like me have the knowledge in my head, at least I can defend myself anywhere"
When I noticed it, I just stopped sharing anything with her. When I told her I was moving out, she said that I wouldn't find a place and I should still pay for hostel fee incase my landlord evicts me,so I'd come back to her. She felt that we were on the same level and I couldn't leave without her. When I found a place, I kept it to myself. She was still making side remarks like how would I afford it blah blah, I kept quiet. The day before I was to move out, that's when I informed her. She was surprised. I was laughing in my head.
When I buy a new bag or shoes, she will keep looking at it but won't say anything. She was very observant of my activities, and she didn't hide the way she used to watch me. Thank God we're no longer together ooo, at least I have peace of mind.
I am anon 16:28.Are we talking about the same person? I bought a nice shoe that everyone complimented. Th next thing she turned CIA and said I should talk her to where I got it because she wants the same thing. Mind you there were imitations of that shoe everywhere but mine was different and it tripled the regular price. So if igured out she wasn't buying but in her mind wanted to call me out on my "supposed lie" according to her. This was someone I wasn't even sure complimented me from her heart when everyone was praising the shoe. So I refused to take her their because deep down I knew she wasn't going to buy it. She kept on disturbing me and I told her the shoe was everywhere if she wanted but she insisted she wanted me to take her to the store I bought it from. I got tired and took her there luckily enough for me they have one piece left so I would find out after all if she really wanted to buy the first thing she asked was the price and the lady told her same thing I said. And asked her if she would like her to package it for her. She started stammering that she doesn't want it now that "maybe" later. I was confused considering she had been on my neck bothering me to take her there but now she has the pretty shoe in front of her and just one piece left but she doesn't want to buy it. And she never bought it till we graduated neither the expensive not cheap one.I have already advised the poster. She knows what to do.
DeleteYou people must be talking about my friend
Delete*Larry was here*
Lol
DeleteAt least for now, your friend is not a bad person. She probably feels jealous because the things you flaunt on sm are the things she also wishes to have. People sometimes feel that way especially when someone close to them is already getting what they are yet to get in life. Now this is the deal: the ability to be contended with what you have presently,and striving to acquire more of what you want will make that feeling of jealousy expire. If you don’t do this, hatred for that person that is making it already will set in, leading to depression.
ReplyDeleteShe isn't jealous of you for what you have, she is jealous because she doesn't want to be depressed about her situation. There's a difference between Jealous and envy. Enviness is when you buy a car and your friend will say *is that one car* meanwhile she never buy bicycle tyre
ReplyDeleteThe oga kpatakpata of them all is winchcraft! this constitute (flying with broom, enviness, bitterness, I have blow pass you. etc) winchcraft is when you don't have light and you see you neighbour with light but you will praying for God to cease their own light.
*WITCHCRAFT*
DeleteChikito i know what i typed, ok? Stop shouting on top my winchcraft
DeleteHahahahahahahah 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 @ Aproko
DeleteYour last statement
She no know winch nau, 😂 jus kidding
DeleteEven if you are still cool, dine with her with a long spoon, you can't read minds, can you?
ReplyDelete@ anon 15:12
ReplyDeleteThere are 2 things that drive jealousy.
1.Fear that you may not be able to accomplishment something, due to;
2.Insecurity over/ and an inability to accept your inadequacies.
NOT EVIL SPIRIT. If you double your hustle and maintain a positive disposition those feelings will start to go away.
In the same vein, if you feel someone is jealous of you, dig deeper, and you will find that thing they are afraid and insecure about. It will help you to better understand the mindset of a jealous person.
Please note that being merely jealous is different from those with dark personality disorders that can make them go and jazz you. You need to be able to differentiate both because most cases of what you just mentioned is mere jealousy.
Again, if she was going to harm you, she wouldn't tell you because she knows she will be the prime suspect. Someone with a dark personality disorder will cover that emotion with a fake smile.
Accomplish*
DeleteSo how can one differentiate? Can you really?
DeleteChikito the ones that can harm you smile with you a lot. On Wednesday, they will use you as WCW just to pepper their other friends, not because they are truly happy for you. They are also emotionally manipulative with a bit of narcissism. There's the occasional snide remark or downplaying your achievements too. Most of the ones who avoid you or stop talking to you have gone low key to double their hustle without any distractions.
DeleteExample 1. If she sees you with something she wants she'll first tell you that it is fine o but you're stingy and she thinks you won't give her if she asks. This one is worse than the one who sees you and doesn't compliment you.
Example 2: whenever I changed my profile picture, the next minute she would upload someone as wcw and hash tag #beauty and brains. It happened way too many times. It wasn't a coincidence.
Both of these ladies, the friendship was one sided. They would call and want me to keep talking for long and get furious if I made any little plans without them. In essence, those who have this dark personality type always want to remain in your life. The last thing they'd do is unfollow you.
In essence, both are not really happy for you but one is more harmful than the other.
Hmmm... I do get the part of a person being a friend because they are using you to shine for other people, not because they genuinely like you. Especially when you're a flashy person. That's the reason why many popular, flashy, well-to-do people are snobs. Some people want them for the affiliation, they dont genuinely care. These days I dont judge anymore cos you dont know what some people have experienced.
DeleteIn any case, sometimes one cant really tell with funny behaviours springing up now and again 😂
Ajebo, you get am, well well I
DeleteI’d appreciate a friend who can tell me what the problem is straight up. She is a good person in my opinion. Let her be. The true test of friendship is not in who is following you on social media.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteYes, it happens. I have been unfollowed for no just reason too.
ReplyDeleteJust know within you that such people know so much hatred at heart..
It is not such a big deal to be unfollowed. People unfollow for different reasons. You people take social media too seriously. For example I followed someone simply because his posts were always negative and flooding my feeds. I jus tire. If he now discovers and thinks I hate his person, he would be in error. Anyway that is his cup of tea.
Delete*unfollowed someone
DeleteMay you not put yourself in a position to be poisoned, oh. Cos some of us no dey hear word until e shele. Please, delete that girl from your memory and your life. You're not Jesus Christ whose Name delivers people of demons. Stop trying to save who God is delivering you from.
ReplyDeleteOA
Lol. Her real enemies are hiding in plain sight and probably close to her........
DeleteEverybody has the tendency to be jealous. Infact that is whzat drives us to want to succeed. There is what is called healthy rivalry. It is because of healthy rivalry Rangerover, BMW, Bentley etc churn out 1o0s of cars yearly. When A and B see C riding it they want too and they work hard for it. Your friend is a good person. Her only limitation is that she feels stagnated despite her hustle. The best you can do, is to pray for her. Don't try to spoon feed her [ except in desperate situations] as it can backfire. Just pray God opens her way too.
ReplyDeleteWell she has said her mind...mine is I muted everyone on Whatsapp cos I don't like seeing any sort of status...it is the same reason I left facebook. I don't get the act of posting things like location, food, current activity and birthday messages that are supposed to personal for the world to see on social media. Pls note I did not say it is bad. I just don't get it. So I muted everyone that does the status thing.
ReplyDeleteAda.
My dear you can be sure some of those people will tag you a hater. Never mind them jor. Such people are shallow.
DeleteHehehe some of you think too much of yourselves. You must think you’re something special that people who do that are beneath you. Lol @ I did not say it’s bad, I just don’t get it. Lol. You’re funny. Enjoy your boring life
DeleteI stopped going to Facebook for a while because I realised I was envious of my friends who were doing far better than I was while I was unemployed and depressed. I didn't hate them or anything but seeing them just made me feel worse about my situation but I've long realised that all that glitters is not gold.
ReplyDeleteYou were just trying to cope. Nothing wrong in what you did.
DeleteBless you. People are attacking the poster’s friend don’t just understand human psychology when it comes to social media. There’s nothing wrong in protecting your mental health, it doesn’t mean she hates her friend. Stop projecting your bad experiences into her situation
Delete@reina do you kno that even your God is a jealous God.. Hw much more a human being.. All u have to do is to motivate her any way u can..
ReplyDeleteMy dear take stella's advice .honest people are like diamonds now
ReplyDeleteI wish I had friends like this who are honest and confident enough to verbalize what they are feeling to me and we hash it out. Than the ones that smile at you and curse you in their minds. She's real, hold on to her.
ReplyDeletePlease poster that your friend is not jealous of you, she is unhappy because she couldn't achieve what she sees you post.please reach out to her if possible.
ReplyDeletePoster, don't be angry because she unfollowed you. You guys have been friends, things are working fine for you and things are not working out for her. Seeing your pictures on social media would always remind her she hasn't done enough. She told you with all honesty, I feel you should respect that.
DeleteFollowership is not an award, Just keep in touch with her, whenever you travel, try and get gifts you can afford once in a while, keep encouraging her as well.
@adire you have a point. But, I have a friend who I have been this way with. I know she has been going through struggles, so I try to get gifts for her when I travel, call her on her birthday, support her financially, encourage her, counsel her, you name it!! I started to notice she doesn't call me except I call her. Even when I call sometimes and be like I'm not feeling fine or something, she wont call to ask if I recovered. Then when I call her months later, the first thing that will come out of her mouth is: so you remember me today. The last time she did that, I asked her who called who last and if she can't try and call me sometimes. She went quiet and then proceeded to ask me for something I promised her but was yet to send across. I still sent the thing to her. She only text to say thank you - no call. So I've withdrawn my calls and all efforts to keep in touch too. Some people aren't moving forward in life because of the bellus in their heart. The bible says: the heart of man is deceitful, who can know it?? Answer - God. They need to deal with that inner weakness to proceed in life.
DeleteThis may not be the posters case, but my point is, when a person is in a not-so-good place and sees you as the advantaged one; nothing you do will ever be good enough. The more you do the more confused you can become 😂 It's not about you, it's their own situation and until they overcome it the relationship cant get to a healthy place. God forbid they even see your generosity as arrogance and God so good to bless them with something they will start acting like they can now talk because they have a backing for their insecurity.
Poster if you are prayerful ask God for wisdom to handle it. It's a 50-50 situation.
Chikito it is only natural. I am not an envious person but with the decisions I made and the results of those decisions I started to resent my friends who were there for me. Poster, just pray with and for your friend. When I was at my lowest I started praying and God's grace found me. I know have what I look forward to
Delete@Y so how do you resent people who are there for you? What gets a person to that point. I'm curious.
DeleteWell, when Jesus healed the blind man he told him to go and tell no one. This is how I choose to live my life, whatever good comes my way I never share it with a soul, I simply pray and thank God quietly.
ReplyDeleteIt is better for her to unfollow you than to follow you and build up such a level of envy that she go to the witch doctor to harm you. There are many so called friends smiling in faces and stabbing in backs. She recognized her flaw and chose the best solution to handle it. Even between siblings jealousy exists much less friends.
She knew she would die inside of her if she doesn't open up. Please deal with her at arm length let's avoid stories that touch.Na that type dey steal people husband with innocent act.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm.... It is well
ReplyDeleteI have unfollowed ppl and deleted contacts (saved them elsewhere) cuz I was jealous. Was going through a really rough time and the person I felt a little jealous of didnt do me any wrong. After a while everything got sorted and I added her back. She didnt even notice that I had removed her.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...... it's a little bit of this and that. You really dont want to doubt her honesty, but do you want someone getting moody on your because of their situation that's not of your making? (Or is it??)
ReplyDeleteShe could have muted your updates so she doesnt see your uploads and doesn't ruin your mood, but why unfollow you? Okay... maybe she doesn't know that updates can be muted.
In any case, she is better than the ones following you and hating on your privately. These levels of mini-witchcraft are many, so....😂 Just keep being a good friend and stay prayerful. Ask her what things in her life she needs you to pray with her about, do your part. Sometimes when good things are happening to some of us, we lack empathy for our friends who are still struggling in those areas. It's not a bad thing, its a natural 'high' that comes from being a good place and then the inability to show concern. But I will never allow my current situation lead me to a place of jealousy sha. I can pray the same and more happens for me but I wont get jealous. Cos no one knows tommorow.... when I see all the babes I used to admire back in uni today, I know I need to take life easy.
Thanks chikito. She could have muted her. Why unfollow her, how many people will she unfollow? I see people saying she told you she was jealous so she is honest. Please... She already suspected her friend who figure it out. Like I didn't offend you, we didn't quarrel and you just went overboard by unfollowing me when you could have muted out of respect for my owns feelings too
DeleteknowingI will see it that you did. The poster should avoid her.
I would say be careful. My sis had such friend (infact her only female friend). When my sis had her birthday, she got a lot of gifts both cash and material stuff. This her friend saw them and pretended to be happy, meanwhile she was angry that my sis got all that while she got nothing on hers.
ReplyDeleteOne night, they were returning home from night class. There was this canal they usually crossed. It was the next day she opened up to my sister that she has been jealous of her for all the things she got on her birthday that as they were crossih the canal, she wanted to push her inside. My sis was shocked! I told her to do away with that girl cos she can kill.
Tell them ooo. I am really surprised about how people are downplaying jealousy simply because she confessed with her mouth doesn't change anything. She told the poster she had to unfollow her before she starts hating her.
DeleteMaybe most haven't experienced it.
18;37 👍
DeleteVoicing her feelings because she told her about being jealous doesn't make her a good friend like most of you are saying. It's still a hateful comment. Think about it. Good friends do not unfollow you or even get jealous to the extent that seeing your pics will develop into hatred. She is no different to the 'silent haters'. You can still be friends but be mindful of what you share with her. Be friends by at a distant and do information blackout!
ReplyDeletePumpkin
Thank you!
DeleteShe is still a step ahead of those that will be liking and loving your comments always, while privately hating you and sabotaging you all the while.
DeleteMy dear that friend of urs is not a bad person. We all have jealousy in us.I hope u don't flaunt ur success in her face?cos if u do,u need to stop.
ReplyDeleteCos some of us makes that mistake,u will see ur friend struggling to get a particular thing,u get that thing and start flaunting it on their faces.
That was what we were thought in Sunday school today,we were taught "Thanksgiving"how to appreciate God and all that.
Then a brother asked a question that if u are in a vehicle and d vehicle had an accident u are d only survivor,are u suppose to start thanking God were others are lying in state?
The preacher answered that bible thought us to rejoice with them that are rejoicing and mourn with them that mourn.that yes u will thank God but u don't need to start shouting and thanking God were others are crying for d lost souls.
For instance ur friend is still unmarried,and u are married, whenever u see her all ur talks is my husband this my husband that. Or u have a friend that is still TTC whenever u are around her all ur talk is my children this,my children that.Don't u think that ur friend will always feel bad and be jealous?
I have friends that are having it rough financially, I can't come and start telling them na wa o,ordinary 10k u no get?me get millions for my account o and stuffs like that. Don't u think they will be jealous? Pls let's be guided!
Wow... Thank you for this!
DeleteMy dear that friend of urs is not a bad person. We all have jealousy in us.I hope u don't flaunt ur success in her face?cos if u do,u need to stop.
ReplyDeleteCos some of us makes that mistake,u will see ur friend struggling to get a particular thing,u get that thing and start flaunting it on their faces.
That was what we were thought in Sunday school today,we were taught "Thanksgiving"how to appreciate God and all that.
Then a brother asked a question that if u are in a vehicle and d vehicle had an accident u are d only survivor,are u suppose to start thanking God were others are lying in state?
The preacher answered that bible thought us to rejoice with them that are rejoicing and mourn with them that mourn.that yes u will thank God but u don't need to start shouting and thanking God were others are crying for d lost souls.
For instance ur friend is still unmarried,and u are married, whenever u see her all ur talks is my husband this my husband that. Or u have a friend that is still TTC whenever u are around her all ur talk is my children this,my children that.Don't u think that ur friend will always feel bad and be jealous?
I have friends that are having it rough financially, I can't come and start telling them na wa o,ordinary 10k u no get?me get millions for my account o and stuffs like that. Don't u think they will be jealous? Pls let's be guided!
Is normal to be jealous of friends, family members or your spouse especially when you cannot afford what they have. If any friend of yours is in competition with you biko delete them.
ReplyDeletePoster if you can help your friend get to a particular place or get bigger job assist her, make sure you stop posting everything about yourself on Facebook. Some ladies has lost their lifes due to social media postings, you don't know who is angry with your achievement in life. Some want to have every good thing in life but when you get little things they are angry, watch your back and what you tell her.
Thank you excited, most people wants the best things in life but when they see those they like to pepper with it get a little, they go crazy cos they can no longer pepper them that much.they like their friends to be beneath them so they can see someone to pepper.
DeleteGet you a friend like this! I admire her honesty. Give her space to let her heal whichever way she deems fit
ReplyDeleteThere are various degrees of jealousy and there is a difference between jealousy and envy.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, the friend isn't a bad person. She was just protecting her mental health.
ReplyDeleteI had to unfollow someone too because she was always posting about her being mother of boys. It can be really painful for someone who desires children of her own to see such posts every single day and i was becoming depressed. Since i unfollowed her, i felt much better.
Does it mean i hate her or wish her bad? NO! I sincerely wish her the best. But for my mental well-being, i had to.
Some people have removed themselves from social media just to get away from constant reminders of how good others seem to be living. And we know how everyone portrays a perfect life on social media. I firmly believe social media has contributed to the increase in depression rates. We are all imperfect humans who are striving hard to be happy at the end of the day.